"Plan B, great," Dean commented when the angel disappeared, somewhat annoyed. "He's doing this on purpose."
"Doing what?"
"Leave us alone. Force us to talk out our issues. You really think I need to be watched? We're in the middle of the frickin' ocean, I can barely move with all the damn salt everywhere."
"Well you've kind of got a reputation for escaping." Sam said, going to sit in another chair backed up against the wall.
"Heh, I guess." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Hey, lemme ask you something."
"Hm?"
"Why're you so... persistent? Why are you still trying at this? I don't wanna go back anymore, so why do you want it so bad?"
Sam thought for a minute, head down. "Because you would've wanted it. If you were thinking straight, you would see what you're doing and want out."
The demon laughed a bit at that. "You mean Dean would have wanted it, right? Your brother, the human, wouldn't want to be this. You just don't get it, do you? How many times do I have to tell you: I'm not him anymore. I know exactly what I'm doing, I just exercise a little more freedom than most. I know what I told you, and it sure as hell wasn't to 'fix' me. I told you to kill me. If I were you, I would've taken that opportunity. Too late now."
"No. You're messed up and I can see that, but it doesn't mean you can't go back, Dean."
"I thought I told you to stop calling me that." He said angrily, blue eyes glaring at Sam. "And I told you, I don't want to go back." He relaxed back into the chair and let his eyes fade beck to normal, "I'm having too much fun. And it only took nine hundred years in the pit for me to learn how to. I gotta say, this is a hell of a lot better than my life before, Dean's life."
"How's that?"
The demon shook his head with a small pitiful smile. "Wow, you must really be blind. I never had a life of my own. After mom died, it was never about me. But I guess you wouldn't see that, you got to have a life, go to college, have a girlfriend. But for me, it was always tag along on dad's crusade and take care of my baby brother. Now is it really that surprising that the mindless soldier turned into this? I get to do what I want now. I'm not worrying about anybody else. And you know what, it feels good."
Sam tried to speak calmly to try and keep Dean somewhat grounded. "You spent your life saving people. You always liked hunting."
"I never had a choice," he spat back. "If you could choose, honestly, would you pick hunting?"
"I know what's out there and I know that I can save people from–"
Dean cut him off with a sly smile, "from things like me? Reality check, Sammy, you can't save them all."
"Is that how you justify killing people?"
"I don't have to justify it. I'm a demon, I don't feel guilt. I just do it 'cause it's fun," he said with a grin, eyes momentarily flashing blue. "How'd you know what I've been up to, anyway?"
"Well you know I've been looking for you," he responded nonchalantly, "and you haven't exactly been discreet. Yeah, jumping from town to town and changing meat suits was effective, but same MO everywhere. Guy with freaky blue eyes leaves a bar with some girl later to be found cut up in some motel room. It's a pretty sloppy path. Maybe if you didn't want to be found, you shouldn't've flaunted the demon eyes so much. Ask any hunter about a blue-eyed demon and they most likely have a story. You've made yourself pretty famous."
His permanent smug grin grew wide, "well look at you. That's some pretty good hunting there, Sammy." He shrugged, "but I wasn't trying to hide, I got nothin' to hide from."
"You might wanna take a look at where you are one more time." There was a moment of silence as the demon lazily and resentfully looked over the Enochian symbols at his feet. Sam spoke up again, somber, "you might not want help, but you know what? I don't care what you want. Because it's not you I'm fighting for, it's Dean. And you were right, you're about the farthest thing from him."
In all honesty, Sam had been getting more doubtful of his plan the more he found out about Dean. He'd been trying to forgive his actions, play them off, reminding himself that he was, in fact, dealing with a demon. Some casualties had to be expected. However, hearing his attitude towards the senseless murders was more than disturbing. Also, the body count had tipped past ten weeks ago, and Sam surely didn't even find all of them. He was doubting that Dean could be salvaged out of this... monster. Even if Balthazar could make him human again, maybe his sanity was too far gone. And if he was somehow made human, then what would Dean think of everything that this demonic persona had done? Not to mention the fact that Sam had let it happen. Would he even remember it? He knew that his cause was selfish, but he had wanted his brother back since the day the hellhounds came for him. And now this... thing that he thought was his brother, then had acted as his brother, then was almost his brother, and now was once his brother was being dangled in front of him. Sam had sat back and watched as his sanity fell apart and did nothing, and now he feared that he'd never get Dean back.
The demon cocked an eyebrow. "And there it is. Finally. I said this would happen, didn't I? Here we are, just a hunter and a demon. It's kinda liberating, isn't it? Just let go of that crazy idea that a human could survive that long in hell. Two hundred years, maybe. Three would be a stretch. But nine? You can't even imagine my hell. Nine hundred years of nothing but torture and screams and fire and blood, slicing and dicing my way up to the top so that I can finally get out of that hole, if only for a little fresh air. You know, hell isn't easy, even for demons. After being tortured constantly down there for that long, it's only natural to want to inflict some pain of your own. Doesn't matter on who, just passing on the suffering; it's enjoyable at the very least. Plus, being up top, I get to speak English again," he finished with contrasting humor.
"What?" Sam asked with a small laugh at the unexpected subject change.
"Yeah, it's a little, stupid thing, but I really did start to miss it. Downstairs, where I was at least, all Latin all the time. But, on the upside, my Latin's a lot better now." He trailed off thoughtfully.
After another stretch of silence, Dean produced a flask from his jacket. Sam watched as he unscrewed the top and took a drink, closing his eyes and savoring whatever was inside.
"What's that, whiskey? Still got a drinking problem?"
He smiled, "lots of drinking, I don't see it as a problem though. But no, this is a lot better than whiskey." He seemed to realize something, "but you would know that, wouldn't you, Sammy?"
"What is it?" He asked again, now genuinely curious.
"Demon blood. Want some?" He shook the flask in Sam's direction and laughed to himself, "my brother the blood junkie, I almost forgot about all that. But now that I've tried it myself, I really can't blame you. It is good." He took another sip.
"Demon blood?" Sam said incredulously, "you're drinking demon blood? So, what, now you're a cannibal too?"
"No, I haven't eaten any demons," he retorted mockingly, "I think of it kind of more like vampirism. I figure they all hate me enough as is, why not give them some more reasons to? It's funny, actually, when I find a nest of them. They're all terrified." He chuckled and took another small sip. "Mm, but I can see how you'd get addicted. It's chock full of power. Makes you stronger, sharper, faster. How'd you quit it?"
"I killed my source." He said simply.
The demon could feel him becoming more uneasy by the second. It was obvious that Sam was nervous to be left alone with him. Understandable, he supposed. After all the demon's stories and lectures, it was pretty impressive that the hunter maintained a relatively calm facade.
"What's taking Balthazar so long?" Sam wondered aloud.
"Oh, he's been here for the past maybe five minutes." He suddenly raised his voice, "isn't that right, angel? I know you're there, you stink of righteousness. Come on out."
The angel appeared against the wall opposing Sam, behind the demon. "Very perceptive. You two really have some problems to work out, don't you? Especially you," he nodded at the demon. "Now, let's get on to plan B, shall we?"
A/N: Long(er) chapter, woo! Reviews? Maybe? Love ya.
