Hello, everyone!
Thank you so much for your fantastic reviews as always!!
I apologize that this chapter was a bit later than I had expected. My beta is out of town until tomorrow, and I was on my own for editing it. If there are a few mishaps, feel free to PM me or leave it in a review, and I'll fix it. (Bit mishaps please, not something silly like there was a better word I could have used.)
I have typed all day today, and have two chapters lined up already. My Beta will be getting them tonight and I should be getting them back by tomorrow night.
Thanks again for the loyal reviews. You guys inspire me to write more. And just because of your awesome reviews, this story will probably be about 6 or 7 more chapters, rather than three!
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Read and Review.
Disclaimer: I don't own twilight. The end.
Edward and I sat still on the love seat while the family all stood near us speaking quietly to each other about the newest plan. Within moments of sitting so motionless, I became lost in my own mind. Part of me was consumed by the fear and anxiety of the task at hand and the other part was full of anger and almost an excitement. I knew I wasn't a monster, per say, but surely only someone, or something, with the tiniest bit of evil residing in them was the one waiting for a fight and picking it. Edward grabbed my hand noticeably tighter, causing me to jump slightly, pulling me out of my thoughts. He looked at me with sad, worried eyes and pulled me to my feet.
"Would you like me to teach you a little about fighting, or would you like someone else to?" Edward asked quietly.
"You, please." I said as sweetly as I could. I wanted to spend every moment from now until this fight with him. He nodded and began to guide me out to the backyard which was only a small clearing, leading to the woods. As we reached the center of the area, Edward's head turned to the porch where the family all stood.
"Do you mind?" He asked only loud enough for me to hear, referring to the family watching me. I shook my head, knowing that now wasn't the time to be shy. He nodded slowly as he closed his eyes, trying to think. He was so tense. I could hear the stress in his breathing. I stood very still, looking at him cautiously out of worry for him. He opened his eyes and nodded very noticeably, answering someone's thoughts.
"Bella, close your eyes." He told me. I opened my mouth to object, but closed my mouth and shut my eyes tight, not wanting to make him any more upset than he already was. I felt him slowly walking around me, watching me. I felt exposed and raw towards the family in a situation like this.
"When you fight, you have to be ready for anything. You have to listen to your surroundings, feel everything around you. You have to trust your instinct and act with your mind. You must do it quickly, powerfully, and precisely." Edward's voice sounded as if he was retelling a monologue he had memorized. "Listen to your surroundings." He instructed. I did as I was told and focused on what I could hear. Tiny heartbeats filled my head. Faded, far away, large heartbeats stuck out. Venom coated my mouth and a fire-like feeling burnt the back of my throat. I could feel my eyes turn darker and my breathing increase.
"Bella," Edward hissed, "Stop focusing on the animals and focus on what is around you right now. Listen to me, not my voice, but where I am. Where am I when I'm ready to attack? What does it sound like when I take a step or when I move my hands to hit you? I'm not going to hit you, but Jacob won't hold back. He will use every ounce of strength he has to kill you, and you can't let that happen." His voice was mechanical and serious. I wanted so badly to reach out and kiss him.
After he quieted, I focused on his movements. I could hear each step he took and I could hear his breathing. Every few moments he would move his hands so that he was mimicking the movements of a fist fighting through the air. I listened to everything and missed nothing. He picked up speed, now my hair whipped around my body gently in the circular direction he ran.
"He will move quickly, but no quicker than you can move and much slower than I move. If he is going to think you are vulnerable, attacking him instantly will be suicide. He will get too suspicious and kill you in seconds. He will taunt you first and make you suffer before trying to kill you." I could hear his voice shiver slightly. I wanted to hold him so badly. "You will have to attack him when he is ready to attack you, not before then." He instructed. "He will taunt you, just like this and you have to let him taunt you. Let him taunt you and be ready for when he begins to attack. You have to hit him and right now you have to hit me." I shook my head slowly, not opening my eyes.
"I don't want to hit you." I whispered for his ears only.
"You won't hurt me." He whispered almost harshly. He didn't want to do this; to be teaching me this. I felt the ghost of his hand touch my face as he ran by it.
"Think of what he did to you. Let the anger fill you. Don't rationalize this. Picture yourself in the forest. He's surrounding you, telling you that he was right and that he is going to make you suffer before he attacks and he's going to taunt you. He will make you feel weak and if you're pretending to be vulnerable, he will feed on that. He will get into your head. You will be facing the monster who killed you. You can't hold back." He hissed, "Remember what he did to you." His voice wavered quietly.
Images of Jacob throwing me like a rag doll against a wall filled my mind. Jacob's savage expression staring down at me while he took the only innocence left of me. I saw Sam entering the garage after Jacob had left, his face shocked, scared and angry. I remembered lying in bed when Alice found me, laying catatonically, staring at Alice blankly as she called for Carlisle. I remember him rushing me to the hospital trying to find out what had happened. His expression pained as I showed him what Jacob did to me. I remembered hearing Edward fight with Carlisle because of me and his face when he saw me and how he ran when he found out what had happened. I saw myself sobbing into his chest for hours. The pain it had caused everyone around me filled my heart.
"Please, I can't..." I said so quietly that I wasn't sure if it even came out of my mouth at all. Everything I had worked so hard to get over and to put behind me all came to a head and was now being forced to my consciousness.
"You're weak.." He hissed. "You won't last five seconds." His voice taunted me, but it wasn't his voice. It was Jacob's. I could hear it. Deep down I knew it was Edward taunting me, provoking me to fight, but to my conscious mind it was the monster that killed me. I could feel him running around me. The hair whipping around me. I heard each foot touch the ground. Each step was another jeer at my sanity. Each inessential breath was provoking me. I heard his hand move backwards as he imitated the feel of a punch, but to me, it wasn't an imitation. It was a threat. My eyes shot open as I spun around to where he was standing and grabbed his hand from the air, pulling him from running anymore. I shouted in anguish as I saw Jacob standing there, not my angel, and with my palm open, I shoved it into his chest sending him flying through the clearing.
Cheers and claps from the family filled the air. As his body flew backwards, shock and almost a fear crossed his face and it wasn't Jacob anymore. It was Edward. I stopped breathing as he crashed through trees, snapping them at the base as he flew into them. The cheers stopped as I backed up slowly, shaking my head. The momentum slowed and he stopped himself and stood up slowly, leaning his head to each side as if to snap something back in place. I felt someone behind me, walking slowly and cautiously. They neared me and I felt their hand reaching towards my shoulder and I jerked it away.
"Don't touch me." I whispered and turned around to see a worried Alice and before the guilt could fill me from snapping at her, I turned back to see Edward running towards me.
"Bella-" She began.
"Please." I cut her off and looked to see an approving smile on the face of my angel. He ran to my side and was there in a few seconds. He reached out to touch my face but I turned it away. He opened his mouth to say something before looking up to his family. Carlisle ushered the quiet family all off the porch and inside. Edward and I turned face to face.
"I'm sorry..." I whispered inaudibly. He shook his head slowly and moved his hand to my cheek, where I flinched slightly at the contact. "I didn't mean to hurt you." I waited for the tears to well in my eyes, but it was a silly thing to wait for.
"You didn't hurt me." His voice was as quiet as mine as he leaned in to kiss me, but I turned my cheek on him and he pulled away. "Bella, what is it?" He asked as he pulled his hand from my face.
"I kept hearing him and seeing him. It wasn't you back there. I got so scared." I whispered as I moved towards him, craving a certain closeness. His arms wrapped around me loosely, holding me against him lightly enough that I could easily pull away.
"I wanted you to be ready for tomorrow, but I should have known that-" His voice was angry, but it was only directed towards himself.
"Edward, stop. It's going to be so much worse tomorrow, and we all needed to know that I can take care of myself. I just got scared." I tried to convince him otherwise. I hated hearing his voice full of any pain and this time I had caused it. This was my plan and I was the one that gotten scared.
"Bella, if you get scared tomorrow, he will kill you in seconds. I can't lose you, not again." He whispered against my hair. I pushed myself closer to him.
"You won't lose me." I whispered into his chest.
"You don't know that." He reminded me. "What if you aren't ready?"
"I'll have to be. It's now or never, Edward. You have to trust me to be ready." I begged him.
"I do, I trust you." He whispered. I nodded and he pulled me closer. "Besides, if you hit him like you hit me today, he won't walk for days." I looked up at him with apologetic eyes, but he was smiling down on me with the crooked smile I love. I smiled back at him insincerely as he pulled me against his strong chest. I snuggled closer against him and breathed in his scent. I didn't want to let go, but he pulled back slightly. I refused to pull away. His chest shook slightly with laughter.
"Carlisle is about to talk to the family, we need to go inside, love." He said quietly. I sighed and pulled away unwillingly and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kept me close to him as we walked at a normal pace to the front door and into the living room.
Everyone stared awkwardly at Edward and me, each person caught in a perpetual state of worry and excitement. Everyone's posture had changed drastically since this morning. No one was slouched against their significant other or into a couch or wall. Each person stood tensely, next to the love of their life, yet it hardly seemed it. Each couple holding hands, but the romanticism of the touch barely reached their faces. Edward and I stood near the front door that we had just entered. He stood behind me with his hands wrapped around me protectively. I looked around, wanting to see each couple without everyone staring in our direction.
Rosalie and Emmett both stood by the stair railing, both were stiff, and looked ready for a fight. Alice stood with her eyes closed in concentration and annoyance, sighing every few moments. Jasper stood near the couch he and Alice previously had claimed. He stared at Alice, and from the waves of contentment hitting me every few minutes I assume he was mentally begging her to relax.
The mood was tense and awkward, but when I looked to Carlisle and Esme, they both sat softly, Esme leaning into Carlisle, her head on his shoulder with her eyes closed. Although the mood in the room was strained, Carlisle held his arm around her waist loosely yet lovingly, rubbing small circles onto her hand like Edward does to mine. Esme's face was peaceful, but there were impermanent worry lines on her otherwise perfect face. Carlisle moved his hand from around her waist to her hair to stroke it evenly and move it from covering her face before replacing his arm around her. The moment was so intimate that I wanted to look away and give them privacy.
Edward nudged me and as I looked up from the spot on the wall I had chosen, I saw that everyone was moving to sit down after Carlisle had gestured for them to do so. Edward moved from behind me and took my hand in his as he led us to the love seat we possessed earlier. Everyone sat stiffly staring at the floor, silent. It was rare for the family to be so quiet. I shifted in my seat anxiously.
"If we are going through with this plan, we need to discuss what is going to happen." Carlisle's voice rang out as Esme's eyes fluttered open slowly. I jumped slightly in my seat from the sudden break in silence. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a small smile playing on Edward's lips as he held my hand tightly in his.
"According to what we discussed earlier, Edward will have to distract Tanya, correct?" Carlisle asked me. I nodded meekly. As much as I had input into this plan, I didn't want the responsibility of the family lying in my hands. "Edward and Bella, you both will need to stage some sort of fight. If Tanya really does have anyone from the Clan watching, they will need to see this to be certain that this isn't a show." I already knew this and I'm certain of how it would happen, so I just nodded again.
"Edward will find Tanya first, and if her guard does let down, Alice will be able to focus more clearly on her and tell us where her and Edward are. Edward, don't attack Tanya until you are certain part of the family is near. If anyone from the Denali Clan is waiting for Tanya's cue, you will be easily outnumbered. They are just as loyal as we are." Carlisle stated and Edward didn't respond. He had no intention of waiting to attack.
"Bella," Carlisle's attention shifted to me, along with the rest of the room's, "Do not attempt to find Jacob on your own unless you are sure Tanya has let her guard down. You will need a signal of some sort."
"Smoke," I said simply. Carlisle stared at me quizzically. Each face was staring at me confused. "When you attack Tanya, do you intend to let her go?" I asked. The room remained silent.
"No," Edward finally responded honestly. "No, she won't be let go." Rosalie opened her mouth to object, but shut it quickly. Edward looked at her almost smugly.
"When you kill her," I began uncomfortably and the room became stiff, "You will have to burn her and the flames are distinguishable. That will be the signal. The only way to be sure her guard to be down is to assure her to be incapable to have the power in the first place." I stated. I felt so cruel speaking like I was. I was talking about someone's death so easily, so nonchalantly. I'm not a monster. The small phrase repeated in my head.
"That makes sense..." Carlisle said after thinking about it for a few moments. I nodded slowly and looked at the floor, regretting what the family had to give up because of me. Edward released my hand and I nearly gasped at the loss of contact before he pulled his hand around my waist, pulling me closer to him and he began rubbing small circles in my back, relaxing me. I rested my head on his shoulder nearly mirroring Esme.
"Edward will be back by all of us, seeing as how we have nearly equal numbers to their clan, and the pack will protect Bella from Jacob." He declared. Edward stiffened, knowing that none of the family will be near me. Even I tensed at the idea. I thought back to when I was convinced that Sam only saved me to continue the fate of what Jacob had started. A shiver trailed down my back, resting at my lower back where Edward's hands continued it's ministrations on my back.
"And finally, we all need to be sure to hunt before we go, Sam and the pack will be back here within twenty hours. I suggest we all go in pairs or groups. At this point, we can't risk the possibility of an attack." Carlisle concluded. Everyone nodded as they stood up and went in opposite directions. Rosalie and Emmett ran through the opened front door to go hunting. Alice retreated to her room silently, arms crossed, and an exasperated Jasper followed. Carlisle stood up elegantly and offered a hand for Esme. She took it gracefully and they walked slowly to their bedroom.
Edward and I were left in a silent, peaceful room. My head still rested on Edward's shoulder and he continued rubbing circles into my lower back. I lifted my head up and moved slowly to stand up, instead he stood up quickly and cradled me, carrying me to our room at a sickening speed. I looked at him, trying to decide why he did what he just did.
"I needed to be alone with you." He finally muttered as he sat me on the bed and climbed on next to me. He pulled me close to him, holding me safely against his chest. Nothing could pull me from this moment.
"Edward..." I whispered against his chest, breathing in his scent, hoping for the calming scent of Edward in vain. The scent of him only made me dread the coming fight even more dreadful.
"Yes, Bella?" He whispered back against my hair. I remembered what I wanted to say to him, but I fought internally if I should even say it. "What is it, love?" He whispered slowly pulling away to see my face. I pulled him closer, grasping at his shirt.
"I'm scared..." I mumbled quickly into his shirt, quietly. He stiffened and stopped all movement. I held my breath waiting for a response. He moved away and I whimpered at the loss of him. He was staring down into my eyes, painfully honest.
"Say the word, Bella." He said. I stared at him in confusion, not knowing what he meant. "Say the word, and we will leave. We'll pack up and we will all move away. You can pick any place in the world, anywhere at all. He won't find us." He insisted. His eyes were so serious.
"We can't run from this; I won't." I whispered. He closed his eyes and nodded. "I'm sorry..." I whispered. He shook his head and pulled me against his chest again. I pushed us as close as we could get. The silence filled the room. The intimacy of the moment was beyond words and beyond emotions. The safety of his arms, in his room, was a safety I never wanted to end.
