49

Ianto looked up from his desk with surprise as the crying came closer and it took him a moment to realise it was one of his children raggedly howling as if a limb had been torn off.

He quickly rose and was around the desk by the time Jarred came in with Ton in his arms, limp and bereft.

"Oh my baby!" Ianto cried, grabbing for the child and immediately tearing up as he cuddled the poor child, rocking and kissing his tear stained face lovingly.

"Ran into the bloody truck, it was amazing. Carl had backed it out in the sunshine for the kids to play on and he ran straight into it, like it wasn't even there!"Jarred was explaining, "It was like … slow motion and I didn't have time to stop him."

"It's not your fault" Ianto assured him, "Tonny does that. More lately, just last night the doorframe took a good body slam"

"I thought he was dead" Jarred slumped into a chair with relief as the baby stopped crying and settled for sucking two fingers against his Taddy's chest, "He was just laid out."

"Let Taddy see my handsome boy" Ianto crooned, pulling Ton back to examine him and a little bruise was already forming on his forehead. "Oh my poor love."

Tonny shuddered as he agreed, stupid fire truck in the way.

Ianto was kissing his face, stroking his hair and telling him that he was so big and brave to stop crying and he was so proud of him for being so big and strong to survive such a horrible attack.

Ton agreed completely, it was good that he hadn't died or anything. It was custard night.

"I'm going to talk to Owen" Ianto said softly to Jarred, "I'm thinking he's old enough to understand eye tests now. Last time he was a horror, bit the poor optometrist."

Jarred snorted and clapped a hand over his mouth as he imagined a Ton overload.

"I wonder if he sees properly, it's not uncommon for eyesight problems with DS, he might need some glasses, or at least shades. He does really badly in bright sunlight." Ianto had calmed his love into sleep and as he continued to rock his little boy the fingers popped out and the arm fell like a rag doll.

"Wow, he goes from 100 to zero at the drop of a hat" he observed, "And vice versa."

"Izzy has the same tendencies" Ianto pointed out softly and Jarred nodded.

"She's getting really comfortable now, more so with Carl. She doesn't really have tantrums with me but with Carl she can go all exorcist on his arse!" Jarred sighed.

"Ton would never argue with me, not even when really angry but he and Jack have face to face tournaments some nights when he is determined he is sleeping with us" Ianto assured him, "Jack stays calm and keeps putting him in this own bed, and he will get straight back out, screaming like Jack just beat him. It can go for almost an hour and does my heart no good at all. But he's getting so big and hot at night. He has to learn to sleep in his own bed."

"Izzy can say 'no' and she uses it a lot" Jarred grinned, "You are right. Not with me, with Carl. Like, one is different to the other?"

"The one that is maternal, most seen is considered the one they need. The one they think will not leave" Ianto explained, 'It is not about playing you off or making us Mommy, it's about which is dominant in their mind. You and I are seen as soft. They don't have to challenge to get what they want as they know we will cave or compromise. Jack and Carl … they are not there all the time, they are seen as the challenge. They say no, they don't give in. That's the difference. When push comes to shove, they will discipline when we don't have the heart. To get a ruling from them of yes or no means more."

"But Ren doesn't do it, he is better with Carl than me when tired and cranky" Jarred pointed out, sliding to the edge of his seat.

"Same reason" Ianto smiled, "He knows Carl means it, he also knows if he grizzles you will give him more time on the floor instead of brushing his teeth. It's not personal, it's about power. Ren loves you both, but you are the one he wants if he gets a splinter, Carl is the one he wants if he gets a sticker at school. He wants to please Carl, he wants you to please him. As long as you love him, spoil him and always tell him he is your lovely boy, he will always feel safe enough to challenge it."

"Like, one day I might change my mind?"

"Yes. He loves you desperately, and is afraid that one day you will leave him like his parents did, Carl is not as necessary. He wants to please Carl because he sees Carl as someone who has power. He wants you to please him because he feels powerless. You are piggy in the middle. The glue. If you didn't love him so strongly and openly, he would question his place in the family. He doesn't, that affords him a little bit of naughtiness to see if Carl feels the same."

"Wait" Jarred sat upright as it all made sense, "You say I've passed the test but Carl hasn't? He's challenging him to see if he is as set in stone as me?"

"Now you get it" Ianto grinned, "Carl is taking longer as he is still seen as a maybe. You are a sure thing in the world of Ren. He knows you love him and will never let him down. He is pushing Carl into a corner to see if he will snap or disappoint him. Carl had to stay strong and the boss of the family, eventually Ren will stop or change tactics. It's not an easy fix or a quick rally. More like a long and arduous campaign of sly thinking on Izzy and Ren's part. He is so clever and he will push buttons. So he will do bad things and wait for the punishment. Some things he might even be relieved that he is punished for them. Same with the Izz. She takes her cues from Ren."

"Again with the rules" Jarred nodded, "As long as we don't move the finish line he will always head for it."

"Exactly" Ianto laughed softly, "Don't change the rules. Even when he resolutely breaks them and is punished repeatedly. He needs that, he wants to see that. Stability, resolve and no lies."

Jarred grinned as he felt himself relax, the stress of the last few days lessening as he finally understood Ren's behaviour at bedtime. He wasn't challenging them at all, he was looking for reassurance that the rues hadn't changed.

If the rules are always there, they will be too.

Poor little guy still worried about being left behind again.