Tap, tap, tap.

Surprised by how diminutive her own footsteps sounded Lynn walked down the hall, her shoulders tense under the armour she hadn't quite felt comfortable going without as she headed for the dinning hall of Redcliffe castle. Ignoring the stares and whispers of the guards and servants who had now filled the castle, she walked onwards to...she actually wasn't sure what she was walking into.

Tap, tap, tap.

"That's the warden..."

Huh...guess they're not afraid anymore, people's memories are so short... Ignoring the whispers Lynn felt her shoulders slump, a wearisome collar of fear around her neck, dragging her down.

"She found the ashes for the arl..."

Tap, tap, tap.

I don't want to meet him. They had reached Redcliffe and immediately rushed to the castle...where Eamon was still alive but unresponsive...

"Heard she's killed thousands of darkspawn..."

Whatever strange magic inhabited the ashes...it had worked...and the man had awoken, confused by the concerned faces crowding around him. The joy he had expressed on seeing Alistair hovering over him...followed by the confusion as to where his son was...Lynn had quickly begged her leave and hurried away, not wanting to see the expression on the man's face as his son's fate was revealed.

"Cleansed the Circle tower of abominations all by herself she did..."

Tap, tap, tap.

I should have found another way... Sighing Lynn knew there had been no other way, but if Eamon didn't see it that way...she really didn't want to meet him, to see the accusations in his eyes. There's no helping it though. Resigned to her fate she glanced up, seeing Teagan standing waiting a few feet away, guarding the door by the looks of it.

"Heard she crowned the new king of Orzammar..."

Shut up, you know nothing. Squaring her shoulders Lynn ignored the servants whispers as she moved up to the bann, grateful that his presence seemed to hold the curious servants and guards at bay. With his arms crossed in front of him and leaning against the wall the bann looked casual at a first glance, but his face was serious, slightly frowned in some new worry.

Coming to a stop in front of the door leading to the dinning hall Lynn took a deep breath and regarded the closed door, not knowing what awaited her there...but knowing that it surely wasn't anything good. "He's in there?"

"Yes." The bann nodded, once.

"He...knows?" Lynn took another breath, already knowing the answer. She had been away from the awakened arl for half a day now...and only now with the setting sun she'd heeded the summon of the arl to meet him in the dinning hall. Maybe he's calmed down...no, no it's too soon...he won't have.

This will be awful.

"I've told him everything I know." Teagan answered, then managed a careful smile. "Never fear."

Lynn couldn't help but chuckle as she softly replied: "The last time someone told me that I almost fell to an untimely death a mere hour later..." She shot the bann a confused glance, surprised by the way he shirked away at the words. "Right..." Ignoring him she closed her hand around the handle to the door. "...here goes nothing."

The dinning hall was as large as she remembered, two sets of long tables lined with chairs along its length, leaving a blue carpet to cover the centre of the floor up to the large hearth where a small fire flickered and guttered, struggling to continue burning. The small torches stuck to the walls added their light to that of the fire, creating soft shadows across the room.

At the end of the right table Eamon and Alistair sat, Eamon occupying the head of the table as Alistair sat on its left side. Both had their heads slightly lowered as they spoke, voices hushed and calm, familiar. It soothed her to see it, to see Alistair being so...quietly happy. Despite her own dread Lynn found a small smile tug at her lips.

Then Alistair turned his head, sensing her presence. At the sight of her approach he half-rose and pulled out a chair while offering her a comforting smile. He wore black pants with golden trimmings now, a gift of Teagan's... But he still wore a simple white shirt, not the same one he'd worn before of course, that one had gotten...torn. Lynn felt her ears heat at the memory. It's strange, back before I wouldn't even bat an eyelash, now...she offered him a shy smile as she felt herself relax a little under the soft eyes meeting hers. Yes...Strange...

"Warden." Eamon rose to his feet. In contrast to Alistair the old man wore an elaborate tunic of blue silk that by now had started to puff out around the stomach, his beige trousers ending in a pair of simple leather shoes. The long grey beard covering the man's face was curly and still a little in disarray from his long sleep...the grey eyes were awake though, guarded as they regarded her.

Lynn's smile faded, a small stab of guilt making her wince. Right, play things smart now. "Arl." She bowed her head a bit lower then needed.

When she looked up she found Eamon and Alistair exchanging a look, Alistair almost looking amused. "Told you."

"I guess you did." Eamon stepped away from his chair and unto the central carpet, cocking his head to the side as he offered Lynn a sad smile. "Lynn Tabris, you have my gratitude." Huh? Lynn blinked. "I have heard it all...and I know you did all you should have done...it's commendable." A sigh and the man turned around, his hands clasped behind his back as he marched up to the hearth, head lowered to stare into the fire. "I...I..." A visible shudder ran through the man, his voice cracking just a little.

Lynn's gaze flickered to the right-side corner, was it just her or was it a little darker then the others? As if it was still stained by some lingering evil. The demon's...or mine? Lynn shuddered and forced herself to focus on the tense shoulders of the man. "I...cannot ask for forgiveness."

"You have it none the less." Lynn winced at the words and shot a glance at Alistair, finding the man smiling faintly at her, knowing she hated forgiveness like that, despite everything that had happened since. You'll pay for that...Lynn caught her little smile before it could grow and shot the man a glare. I guess this is where you got your kindness from...should have known. "He always did say he wanted to be an explorer...I guess he's now exploring something I should by all rights explore before him..." Eamon sighed and shook his head as he leant forward until his forehead came to rest upon the roof of the hearth. "...Loghain will pay for this."

"I'm not sure I'm the one to say this, but we need you...clear of mind." Lynn winced, hating herself for being so cruel. He's just lost his son, don't-

"Quite right." Eamon nodded, leaning away from the hearth. "Grief will have to wait..." The old man squared his shoulders. "...duty comes first." Lynn straightened a little at the words.

"My lord I..." Lynn was silenced by Eamon's gesture as the man turned.

"No, I am no lord, not to one such as yourself." Eamon shook his head. "Alistair here has told me quite a lot of your explorations...impressive." He gestured for the man who now rose to his feet, forgetting the offered chair. Good, didn't want to sit anyway. "I wouldn't believe it if he hadn't told me...you really have these allies? Golems and elves, dwarves and mages? That is remarkable."

"And worthless." Lynn blinked, realising how bold she'd been as the arl raised an eyebrow. "They're useful...but it's no army without the men of Ferelden, they're too few."

"Ah, businesslike." Eamon managed a soft smile and shot Alistair a look. "...you know her well." The former templar blushed at the words, nearly drawing a giggle out of Lynn, despite the seriousness of the situation.

The amusement faded quickly though, Eamon's worried frown allowing none of it in the room.

"I still have trouble imagining Loghain...Loghain of all people to do all this." The man shook his head. "I know he and Cailan had their differences...but Loghain had come to love the lad, his faults and all." Another shake of Eamon's head. "Loghain mad with power...I just can't imagine it. Yet now all is in danger of being destroyed by him...not in a million years could I have predicted this."

Lynn exchanged a look with Alistair, the man shrugging. "Yet here we are...Eamon...we need...something." Lynn shrugged, awfully aware of her lack of knowledge of Fereldian politics, despite what little she'd dragged out of a reluctant Alistair. "I was hoping you knew a way, we need Ferelden if this is going to work."

"And Ferelden you shall have." Eamon managed a weak smile. "If we can dethrone Loghain that is."

"That sounds enjoyable." Alistair growled, a small fire in his eyes as he stepped up next to the two, making Lynn want to reach out but...eyeing Eamon she held her arm in place. "When do we start?"

"Calm down Alistair." Eamon placed hand on the younger man's shoulder with a proud smile, making Lynn smile. A father's smile... "I will call a landsmeet." He glanced at Lynn. "A meeting of all the nobles. Loghain will not be able to refuse such a meeting or he will lose all credibility as regent. Once we have the nobles gathered in Denerim and forced him to take up a fight with words and not swords...then we may dethrone him bloodlessly and smoothly, which will keep our armies alive to battle the coming blight."

"A sound plan." Lynn crossed her arms in front of her and nodded, mind working. "If that's true we will have chance to preserve our strength at the loss of but a few lives at most... but how will we dethrone him? With Anora being his daughter he has quite a...claim." She felt herself tense, gaze darting to Alistair who was still watching Eamon with adoring eyes, too happy that the man was alive to realise what danger he was in.

Eamon nodded, slowly, watching her reaction with an odd look in his eyes. "True enough, but he has no claim through blood, and that Anora herself doesn't rule actually weakens his position. Still, he's the hero of the river Dane, the saviour of Ferelden...his position is strong." Eamon frowned, head bowed. "As for me...I'm but Cailan's uncle, no blood there, and while popular...I will be seen as an opportunist and usurper. I'm not a great hero as Loghain either...not to mention that I simply don't have the charisma of a young man, my position is infinitely small against him."

No...no... "W-well...we could always use Anora." Lynn suggested, licking her lips.

"Anora has no royal blood." Eamon shook his head. "And even if you get her help to dethrone her own father...it's not assured she will help you further than that, she's nothing if not calculating in this respect."

"You...can't ask that." Lynn shook her head, feeling her shoulders slump. "He doesn't want to."

"I...what?" Alistair blinked and looked away from Eamon, his embarrassment of being caught not listening instantly fading as he saw Lynn's expression. "Wha..." His gaze travelled over to Eamon, the old man looking back, gaze level. "...no...you...you can't be serious." Alistair took a step back, shaking his head as he went pale.

Lynn too took a few steps backwards, sitting down heavily on the nearest table as she watched Eamon gesture for the former templar. "You do have the blood Alistair, you cannot deny it, and you becoming king would instantly wipe away the stain on the warden's honour that Loghain has orchestrated, surely you realise this. Your blood alone is-"

"It's diluted and from an indiscreet man and a servant unable to say no!" Alistair growled, shaking his head as he placed a hand on the table behind him, sending Lynn a pleading look that went unanswered save for a weak shake of her head. What could I say? I...I don't want things to change. "Blood is nothing Eamon, we both know this..."

"Blood is everything, Alistair." Eamon corrected with a sigh, making Lynn realise it was a discussion they had had many times. "Your blood has defined your entire life, your blood demands certain things from you...and even if it was nothing...do you think the nobles will see it that way? The mere mention of a Theirin still alive...many will be ready to kneel at a word."

It's true. Lynn lowered her head, staring at her feet as she remembered the time Alistair had told her of his father...of how close she of all people had been to go down on one knee before him. "So what? It's nothing, Loghain is a hero, a freedom fighter, what am I?"

"You are a warden, heroism is in your blood now, as if the Theirin blood wasn't enough." A small chuckle. "Do you not know that there are tales of the pair of wardens travelling across Ferelden? Even here in the castle Teagan as heard a few tales, two wardens who've again and again cheated death. Two single wardens who've fought when all others have fled or despaired...don't you realise the effect it will have if it's revealed that one of them is the prince of Ferelden?"

"That's the stupidest...I'm no hero." Yes you are... Lynn winced...you are... "Besides, it doesn't matter, being a king isn't about heroism. Even if I get the throne, what in Andraste's name would I do with it? I'll ruin the country as surely as the blight would." You're grasping at straws...Lynn took a deep breath, trying to calm herself but failing. I didn't want things to change...I didn't...

"You would not." Eamon replied, sure of himself. "Do you not remember all those classes we had? All those sessions where I taught you strategy and tactics, mathematics and finances? I did love teaching you those things, don't believe otherwise, but there were other reasons for it, set in reality, knowing how small your family was." Smart, but...

"Eamon I...I can't believe it." Alistair winced, hurt. "You...you did that just so...you can't ask this of me." He's in pain... Looking up she found Alistair mirroring her, he too was seated on the edge of the table, opposite hers, head bowed low, hands gripping the edge of the table until the knuckles turned white. No...just...leave him be. She couldn't speak though, didn't dare, it was not her place to make the decision, it wasn't...and that terrified her.

Eamon stepped up to the man and placed his hands on Alistair's shoulders, head bowed low. "I did love teaching you, I would have done it whoever your father had been...but it also means you have all it takes to become king, you know this...I didn't want this, but Ferelden calls...you know this."

"I...don't want to..." Alistair shook his head, refusing to meet Eamon's eyes. Then the warden suddenly looked up, right at her, Lynn felt her heart catch in her throat. Oh no, no please don't...please... The pleading eyes held no mercy for her though, only need, he needed her...and she didn't know what to say. "What do you think?"

"I..." Just tell him you can do without it. Or at least.... Lynn sighed, her head bowed to look back down at her feet. What other choice is there? We could try Anora, or simply discredit Loghain so much they would dispose him without asking for a replacement. Yet.... "I..." We could get a council of nobles, Eamon could well rule, we could...I... The plans were so far-fetched she should snort at them, but she wanted them to be good...which she knew....with a sigh she pushed them aside. I'll hurt him...he'll...no...don't think about it, just give an assessment.

"Lynn?"

Unable to look up she took a deep breath, then said what was needed to be said: "It's the best course of action." She felt his silence, pained. Ignore it. "It will give the nobles many arguments for our side, blood, reputation and ability..." No answer, no protest. Ignore it. "...our chances of replacing Loghain will be at their best with you at the head...and you'll be guaranteed to put the blight as our first priority too." She could feel his eyes boring into her, asking her 'why?'. Ignore it. "It...makes the most sense."

And if we succeed...

Feeling a sudden stab of panic she looked up at Alistair, forcing a faint smile. "But it's your call, only yours, we'll find a way, we always do." Just say 'no', that's all, just say it...

Alistair looked...defeated. No. His face had twisted into a mask of panic, eyes darting left and right as he held unto the edge of the table he sat on, as if it was the only thing keeping him upright. No... "I..." The man lowered his head, frowning, eyes pained. "...don't want to." No, no don't... "But...then..." He forced a smile and looked up at her, eyes still pained. "...someone taught me that's what duty is about."

No...

Bowing her head, unable to meet the pained smile, that compliment shaped like a dagger at her heart...Lynn felt herself shudder with sudden fear even as Eamon clapped his hands together. "Excellent, that's my boy." She heard the old man clasp Alistair's shoulder and shake it encouragingly, knew Alistair was forcing a smile back at the man he considered a father. "You'll make us proud, I know you will..."

He already has... Lynn felt it, as surely as the fear. Her dread mixed with pride of seeing the man before her take up a mantle he did not desire. He'll be great...the greatest of human kings...there it was again, the dread, nearly making her gasp.

She could feel his eyes upon her, his concern, even through the haze of her worries blocking out Eamon's voice... Even with the great shift in Alistair's life...the man was concerned about her. It hurt...

She couldn't meet his eyes though, couldn't show him that she wasn't worried, that she wasn't concerned about his choice, wasn't hurt by what she and her actions had gotten him to do, what her example had doomed him to. She just...couldn't.

I don't want things to change...

**

Thanks to Abydos Jackson for enduring this one.