Annabeth
"All women are princesses. It's our right."
"Come on loser, let's go!" Piper eagerly drags my arm, pulling me out to the parking lot. Prom has just ended, the lights turned bright and the music cut off without celebration. And we were left with the fleeting sound of ringing ears, and bated breath.
"Let's go we have no time to waste!" Leo laughs loudly as we pile into Jason's car. All of us, which is ridiculously unsafe. But it's prom, and we couldn't have a care in the world if our lives depended on it. Because of our recklessness, our lives may depend on it, as we weave in and out of traffic to get to our intended destination.
When we first realized that we were all piling into Jason's car after dinner Leo had chuckled, "Are we going to prom or to hell?" And at this rate the destination might be both.
Piper has me unzip her large floral skirt so that she can just be in her extraordinarily beaded top and shorts. Her mother designed the dress for her 'I told her to make me a dress, she made me a goddamn princess'. I pull on a loose-fitting dress over my prom gown before shimmying my way out of it.
The guys are tossing piece of their suits into the trunk, and before I know it, in a flurry of discarded clothes, we arrive at our destination. Montauk, the drive took a lot less time that it should have considering we were speeding the entire time.
All of us nearly fall out of the car, coarse sand slipping between our toes as we run the length of the beach into freezing water. We kick up waves that the moon would be jealous of, make a current that is as new as we are. Disruption is the least of the names we could give ourselves in this moment, but we have left our cares behind.
Jason and Leo are setting up the bon fire as Hazel, Reyna, Megan, and Percy splash around in the water. Piper and Frank have taken to gathering our things out of the car and trying to create order out of our mess in the back seat.
"So, this is what freedom feels like." Megan says with a lilted laugh.
"Stick around long enough and the feeling beings to linger. With this crowd, at least." Hazel chuckles.
Reyna kicks up water at her girlfriend, "Get it together, love, today's a day for sex and saying goodbye. Who needs to be sentimental?"
"We do!" Percy shouts with a laugh, "Welcome to the club!"
I look over to see the bonfire light up, in one second it goes from a pile of wood to a bright cone of light. I run over to it like a moth to a flame, my heart soaring high in the sky with stars I've never seen before.
The others follow me, we begin to dance, because aside from that what else do you do with a bonfire? Leo throws more fodder on the flames so that their sparks hit the sky. Piper grabs my hips and rocks me back and forth, while Reyna and Jason dance with their backs to the other. One quick glance towards Frank and I see him doing that Charlie Brown move, the one where he hops between feet swishing hair he doesn't have. Leo right behind him doing that stupid grocery cart move he insisted was all the rage. Hazel and Megan have sandwiched a very uncomfortable looking Percy between them and I can't help but laugh.
These are my people, I feel as though 'friend' is too soft a word for them. Because of them I am alive to grind on the most beautiful girl in the world. If I ever needed to hide a body they'd go so far as to make that person ceased to exist. They are my life, I love them, and they love me.
I have always been the type of person to reach, to try for something new. I have always strived to be the best me I could be. Here, with these people, the best me is who I am right now. That's not to say they don't want me to grow, that's to say that love is good enough. I am good enough, they are more than enough.
Here we are, living in a silent moment. Reverent, almost. In the silence that surrounds me, no music aside from the crackling fire as wood splits and splinters to give us light, we are holy. I understand why teenagers feel invincible. Because as my gaze passes from person to person, I recognize how fleeting all of this is. That someday all of this will be gone and the world will collapse on itself. Whether heaven or hell is real, if there's a god all mighty and all powerful, this happened. This will not always exist.
I remember my history class, once upon a time, when we talked about the ancient Egyptians. How they made their civilization with the intent to last for eternity. The fact is humanity was not made to be eternal, we are not everlasting. Only, here in this moment I have stopped time, somewhere between grinding on Piper and jumping into Percy's arms I took photos with my mind.
The image of Reyna kissing an unruly blonde, Hazel Jumping on Leo's back clinging to him for her life. Jason and Frank grabbing each other's shirts and lip syncing with more passion than an award-winning love story. Piper releasing me to Percy as she sinks just slightly into the sand, trying and succeeding at being as alive as she knows how to be. Percy's eyes are so bright I wonder how the stars reflecting in the ocean reached his eyes.
I am convinced in this moment that we were put on this earth to be here, to be on a beach, fresh from our senior prom, not yet ready to wake up from our teenage dreams. I know that the years will continue to be rough, that I will struggle to feel worthy and that maybe I won't know why I'm still going. So on those days, I will take these pictures of pure joy out of the filing cabinet of my memories. Maybe I won't be reminiscing, so much as I will be reminding myself that there is a bright beautiful tomorrow we just have to get there.
I watch Piper yank Jason's hand dragging him away from the warmth of the bonfire, pulling a condom out of her back pocket as she races to love a boy who loves her back. There is nothing more beautiful in life than watching love be returned between two people. Hazel forces her lips on Frank's for just a moment before taking Leo's hands and forcing them into an awkward ring around the rosy type thing.
Reyna and Megan join in on their circle as Percy whispers in my ear. "Our friends really know how to have a good time huh?"
I turn around and kiss him, "They aren't the only ones."
He kisses me again, the warmth of the fire enveloping my back with hot intense tendrils. My mind is an ocean, full of things I'm certain I don't understand, but full nonetheless of things I need. Love, friends, hope. I'm the one to drag Percy to Jason's car. The radio is still loud and nearly makes the whole thing quake, but I don't care.
There is music and him, both filling me up, reminding me to stay grounded. That this is not the end of anything. If there is anything I've learned, it's that there is life after high school, college is not the beginning of anything, nor is it the end. People will try to trick you into believing that high school is the end of your childhood, but I sacrificed that a long time ago.
I'm starting something new and I'm leaving something else behind. That can be seen as an ending, but then I'd be ending so many more things than I'm willing to part with.
Now, usually it's a bad idea to fuck in your friend's trunk, but this is Jason we're talking about and since we were safe I'm sure he won't mind. Besides, they're the ones who fucked on the beach so they have no leg to stand on.
We get dressed before turning down the music, signifying the end of our bonfire night. Though, we do stick around to watch the sun climb out of the ocean. All of us snuggled up together on the cool sand, we are used to seeing sunrises together. There is something so magical about them, maybe it's because we often times forget that even the sun has to climb to the top of the sky. That no matter what it always does, without fail. Even on the days that we can't see it.
"I'll miss it." Piper says, breaking our silence, "This, and you… I wish we had more time."
"You say that as if we don't have any time left at all." Percy says. "We have these next months. Then the rest of our lives."
"You think so?" Piper asks. "People leave, people change."
"Well… Yeah, I guess that's true, but who says that change is bad?"
"What if we grow apart?"
"We won't." Hazel says confidently. "Don't ask me how I know, I just do. No matter where we go or what we become, this will always be a part of us. We're gonna be okay."
"Well, yeah we may be okay-"
"It's just gonna keep getting better from here." I tell her. "We survived this, we can survive anything. Since we did it together… I don't know for sure, but I feel in my heart you can't break a bond like the one we have. We grew up together, you're stuck with me." I grab her shoulders and squeeze her to my chest and I feel the words come out of my mouth without me even thinking them, "Maybe we won't grow old, but maybe then we'll never die."
She laughs once the words are there for her to hear. She seems grateful, so that even once we've piled back into Jason's car we're still holding on to one another. I like to believe everything happens for a reason, I always thought my reason for seventh period study hall was for them to save me. But maybe nobody needs saving, we just need each other to give a fuck about us.
Maybe our reason was to care for and about each other. I grab my prom dress and pull it back on, because I don't know, I want to feel like a queen again for five minutes.
Jason drops me off at my place, and when I walk inside I see my parents eating breakfast with my brothers, our Sunday ritual. My mom smiles up at me, "Welcome home, you want to come eat something?"
I take my seat, and begin to eat breakfast, my hair falling apart, makeup smudged and half sweat off, in a prom dress no less, but I have bacon and eggs. So really who gives a fuck?
"How was prom?" My dad asks.
"The best." I tell him honestly.
"Your friend Piper is hot." Bobby says.
"Is she single?" Matthew asks.
I laugh, "No she's not, and of course she's beautiful. Her dad's an actor."
"Oh yeah?" My mom chuckles.
"Yeah, she's cooler than him though."
"I can imagine. Percy was very polite." Did I mention that this was the first time my parents met my boyfriend?
"He liked you guys, for sure."
"Of course he did, we're awesome!" Bobby says, "So are any of your friends single."
"You're twelve." I roll my eyes.
"Thirteen in a week!" Matthew says.
"I'm glad you had a good time." My dad tells me. "Prom is such a big deal for you high schoolers nowadays."
"Oh and it wasn't in the good old days?" I tease him.
"No, it really wasn't. I spent my prom visiting a college." My mom chuckles. "And your dad didn't even have a prom."
I listen to my parents recount their teenage years, in a comfortable banter. I guess somethings never change, my mom trying to be right and my dad trying not to butt into her story telling. But I can't hide the happiness I feel. For the first time in a long time, my family makes me feel comfortable. Safe. Like I am loved and wanted without so much expectation.
They will never be perfect, I know that. My brothers keep asking me for Piper and Hazel's numbers, my parents keep interrupting each other. But it's who they are, and they're still trying their best. Despite everything they love me. Despite everything they are proud of me.
I may still love my people more, but that doesn't mean I don't have enough room in my heart for them too.
