CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

"Awe fuck, you look worse today then you did yesterday. How is this going to help?" Sean asked when he answered the door.

"Just let me in. I am so not one to be messed with right now."

I pushed my way into the house and headed off toward his music studio. Today, I was battling. I had no sleep and no breakfast. The only thing keeping me mobile was the extra strong coffee and the cold shower from this morning.

I fiddled around once more on the piano hoping that if I couldn't come up with some lyrics, maybe just maybe Sean would hear some random tune and become inspired.

The world is not a fairy tale with a happily ever after.

"Now that sounded uplifting." Sean quipped.

"What can I say; I guess I am not in the mood to save the world today." I replied. I started to hum again with that line rolling around in my head.

The world is not a fairy tale with a happily ever after.

I got no time for princesses waiting to be rescued.

"Hold up there. I like that." Sean pushed me literally out of the way, scooting me down the piano bench. He took to the keys and started to play a tune. I had no idea he knew how to play piano.

"Sing it again." He commanded.

Once again I sang the lines I had come up with.

"Change it from I got no time and just say No time." He replied.

I sang,

The world is not a fairy tale with a happily ever after.

No time for princesses waiting to be rescued.

He added.

No time for enemies and all that drama.

I looked at him and finally felt the goose bumps rise up on my arms.

"I think the drought is over." I looked at him.

"Drought? We've got a mother fuckin rain dance going on here." He laughed.

"Okay. Okay, let's not get too crazy. We've only written three lines." I replied.

"Don't you get it? Once we have the damn hook down, I can do my shit. We got a beat and are well on our way for your part to be done. I like this fairytale metaphor. I can really work with that shit."

He was over the moon but he was right. Like I always said if you could find a catchy enough hook well then that was half the battle.

The world is not a fairy tale with a happily ever after.

No time for princesses waiting to be rescued.

No time for enemies and all that drama.

Rather be fighting for something and not with someone.

Time for some change, this has gone on long enough.

With love comes strength and hate for the weak-minded.

Only the strong will survive while the weak-minded die.

Time for change, time to be brave.

Time for love, throw away that hate.

Time for peace, it can take away the pain.

Time for feuds to end and die.

Time for children to laugh and play.

Time for futures to be made,

Time to for hope for that day.

According to Silver J, my work was done. Now it was time for him to shut himself into his studio and write his side. I would have stayed to help but this is rap we're talking about, the one area of music I would never feel comfortable in.

I did feel a weight lifted from my shoulders after that day. Edward did call but I was so pumped up from our work, he could hear the dramatic difference in my voice so he wished me luck and asked me to call him before I went to bed that night. I explained that with the time difference I doubted he would want to hear me at that hour but he was shooting for most of the night so he would be up.

I was dead on my feet come the end of that day so I was hoping to make it an early night. I came home to find my mother moving a couple of things into the pool house.

"I told you that we would hire people to do the heavy lifting, mom." I called out as I got out of my car.

"I don't need anyone to do my heavy lifting. I am perfectly capable…my god Bella, you look horrible." She gasped taking a good look at me.

"I love you too, mom."

"Oh Bella, what happened?" she asked ignoring my sarcasm.

"I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Anyway…are you planning to stay the night or are you just dropping stuff off?"

"Well…maybe I should make dinner. You could use a nap."

We walked into the house and I went to lay down on the couch.

"That would be amazing. I kind of bailed last night and god knows what kind of take out the boys served."

As my mom started to wrestle around in my kitchen to find something to make, I managed to doze off. I woke up every once in a while to hear various people talking but my mom would quickly hush them reminding them that I was in desperate need for some beauty sleep.

When I woke up later, it was only ten which meant I had only slept off and on for three hours. The lights were out except for the small kitchen light. I walked over to the kitchen and saw a note for a plate of dinner in the microwave. I heated the plate up and carried it upstairs to eat it while I called Edward.

"Hey baby, how did it go today?" He answered the phone much differently than a couple of days before.

"We finally had a break though. I feel a lot better."

"Good, I'm so happy to hear that." He replied.

"So…how is filming going?"

"Productive and I am beat but I have another two hours before I can leave."

"Ew! I'm sorry." I said.

"It's the path I choose. Anyway, Emmett told me that you stayed over at his place last night." He yawned into the phone.

"Don't worry, nothing freaky happened. I stayed with Rosalie." Not a complete lie since I did in fact stay with Rosalie…I just didn't sleep.

"I really wish you and Jacob would work out your differences." He replied.

"What's the point, he'll be gone next week." I shook my head getting angered all over again.

"What?" Edward snapped.

"He didn't tell you?" I asked.

"No. What are you talking about?"

Uh-oh.

"Uh…he gave me a letter last week stating that he and Becky would be moving out. He…said…it was for the best."

Please don't shoot the messenger. Please don't shoot the messenger.

"Okay, what is going on with you too?" Edward barked.

"Hey, don't get pissy with me. This is more your fault then it is mine." I snapped.

"My fault?"

"Yes. Mr. Cullen. As much as you would like to believe that you were infallible, this is your fault. He is made because he thinks we treat him like an employee. You're always yelling at him, telling him it's his fault when I go AWOL and expecting him to baby sit me."

"Awe hell. Dammit Jacob. I have to call you back."

And he hung up.

I was willing to bet my first-born that Edward was calling Jacob next. Part of me would have loved to have been a fly on the wall in Jacob's room. I can't imagine it being be a polite conversation.

I ate my dinner and got ready for bed, waiting to hear back from Edward but he never called me back. Pathetically when I climbed into bed I surrounded myself with pillows imagining that one was Edward.

How did I sleep so peacefully before Edward? Seems like a lifetime ago.

One sheep, two sheep, red sheep, blue sheep.

Why hadn't Edward called me back? Maybe he had to finish filming but it has been over two hours so he should be on his way home now. I look at the clock and it tells me that I have been staring at the ceiling for quite some time.

"UGH!" I slam my hands down on the pillows in frustration. Just a couple of hours ago, I was dying for sleep and now it escapes me.

I flip the television on.

"Oh my friends…how I have not missed you." I announce to the infomercials that pop up on my screen.

Once again it was a long night.

Once again I did not sleep.

There is a two-hour time difference in Chicago but Edward had a late night so he probably wasn't going to be too keen on being awoken at eight in the morning. He was coming home tomorrow but I can't last one more sleepless night.

I was starting to feel scared for the day. I was so tired so why couldn't I sleep. Thoughts crossed my mind of taking NyQuil but I have never been one to medicate myself. Awe hell screw it.

I picked up my phone and dialed. It rang and rang and rang.

Voicemail.

I hung up disappointed not even having the heart to leave a voicemail. I looked around the room and it just seemed so empty. The day was gloomy so there was no sun shining. The room was as dark as I felt. I looked over to see the painting of our home in Venice and for a minute it brought a smile to my face but then I remembered that I was all alone so that happiness quickly faded.

I could feel my breathing pick up and the tears start to form. The walls felt like they were closing in and I jumped off the bed suddenly. Fuck this. I had to get to Chicago. I don't care if I'll be in trouble.

I grab a bag and throw senseless items in it, not even sure if any of it is stuff I can actually use but it will only be for one night. I practically rip the door off the hinges in my haste to leave and manage to scare the crap out of Jacob who was on the other side.

"What do you want?" I snap.

"Uh…I…is that a bag?" he asks.

"What do you care? Or are you back on babysitting detail after I'm sure your ass got ripped a new one by my husband last night?"

Jacob sighed. "You don't see me sitting do you?"

"Whatever." I push past him. "I won't be home tonight…one of the requests I believe you made."

"Where are you going?" Jacob asked still following me down the stairs.

"Chicago."

"Whoa, come on Bella. It's only one more day." Jacob grabbed my arm to stop me.

"Do I look like I care? I haven't slept well since Edward left. Look at me. Do you see my bloodshot eyes? Let go of me."

The look on Jacobs face said it all. I could be quite scary apparently.

"Try something first. Just give me…an hour." He replied still holding my hand. "One hour and then I will help you get to Chicago. You can give me an hour."

I thought back to Edward's pleas and words before he left. I remember him stating how upset he would be if I just came without calling him first.

"One hour." I replied.

Not letting my hand go, Jacob pulled me along with him to one of our extra rooms downstairs. The one my mother usually stayed at when she would sleepover. It had a garden view but it was probably one of the darkest rooms in the house because it faced away from the sun.

Jacob took my bag out of my hand and pulled me over to the bed.

"Uh…what are you doing?" I asked pulling my hand away.

"We are going to lay together."

I was already shaking my head before he even finished. "Uh…no we're not."

"Just try it, dammit. God, I'm not going to feel you up. Hell, I won't even touch you. I…have a theory and…indulge me." Jacob huffed.

I cringed pulling my shoes off.

"I don't even know why you're doing this. Out of some stupid dedication to some stupid society…can't even have your own thoughts long enough to despise me." I grumbled getting on the bed.

"Stop bitching and just lay down."

I crossed my arms and with one last disgruntled sigh I laid down. Jacob laid down on the other side, not touching like he promised.

"I never will despise you…and it's not that I'm here right now because I feel the need to fulfill my oath in any way. Okay so yeah, I'm an asshole. What you said was true. I didn't support you, I should've listened instead of getting all butt hurt but god…I just wanted you to be happy and I wanted to know that I gave that to you. I got you the job that launched your career in a different direction and I know that that is selfish but I couldn't help it. I wanted to know that even if you never saw things from my point of view that I made you happy. I love you… I would never cross a line with you because I have far too much respect for yours and Edward's relationship but I can't just stop loving you. I want you to be happy, that's why I wanted to leave because I felt that you were never going to be happy with me being here. You just see me as this…pain in the ass that watches over you. I don't want you to think those things and it kills me that Embry has your trust more than I do. I just wish I could figure out a way for you to at least…care about me…"

His voice was so soothing and at first I wanted to give him a rebuttal but the longer he talked the more I felt myself become sleepier and sleepier. It was like he was hypnotizing me to go to sleep just by talking. I don't even know what part I fell asleep at but I was out.

I think back to that day often. It doesn't matter what people thought of my friendship with Jacob Black. I didn't listen to any of the crazy or idiotic things the press would print. I always knew the truth. Jacob Black did love me and I loved him but that was as far as it ever went. Technically, yes we did sleep together but you're an idiot if you really believed that we ever had sex or even touched each other inappropriately. He was a friend. The very best kind of friend one could ever wish for and it doesn't matter if you never want to understand our relationship. It was odd, true but it was ours.

I woke up seven hours later. Jacob had the television on but it was muted. The man spent seven hours lying in a bed with me practically without any form of entertainment. I'm sure his phone held out the first couple hours and then the television with its silence took over the remainder. I didn't know what his theory was but it had worked.

"Hey, would you look at that. It seems someone shouldn't be quite as grumpy." He sang.

"What time is it?" I asked pushing off him. Somehow, I had managed to snuggle up with him during my state of unconsciousness.

"Almost five. Edward called but I texted him and told him you were sleeping. I think he would probably like a call back soon."

I got up and stretched.

"Damn, I'm hungry." I rubbed my stomach as it growled.

"Think about how I feel. Dude, my metabolism is off the charts and I haven't eaten shit all day." Jacob replied.

"Why didn't you just go get something to eat? You didn't have to stay with me the whole time."

"Yes, I did." He replied softly. "If you would have woken up…it would have ruined my theory…"

"What theory?" I asked.

"You don't sleep well, alone."

"Duh." I retorted.

"I think…it's because…you're scared. You have had a couple of instances that may have ruined your ability to sleep alone because you're afraid of being hurt. The crazy red-head got into your house and attacked you…that's not something that you can just forget about. You don't feel safe."

I mulled that over and it didn't really occur to me.

The girls had the next day off so since Jacob knew that I would have trouble sleeping again he arranged for that evening to be a massive sleepover in the living room. We watched movies and ate junk food while lying on mattress set on the floor from the downstairs bedrooms.

I didn't get to sleep until around two because I had slept my day away but because I was surrounded by people, I was able to sleep.

The next day when Edward came home, it was a quick turnaround for him. He set down long enough to get a new luggage of clothes before we took off for San Francisco. My fight with Jacob was over but as I took off for San Fran, I was still incredibly hurt that Embry and I were still on the outs.

Having Edward back was great but knowing what I was setting off to do while my friend…former friend had barely spoken to me in weeks.

Silver J and I had a rehearsal that night and then the show was tomorrow. I had my part down and I absolutely loved Sean's verses.

My very first public performance ever was with Embry and now I was going into this knowing that he didn't support me at all.

"I missed you." Edward wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled my neck while I stared out the hotel bedroom window.

"I know…you told me. I missed you too." I whispered.

"What's wrong? You're not here, Bella."

"Just thinking about things. I never told you but Embry…he's um not really talking to me. He and I had a fight and we have really spoken to each other in a couple of weeks." I confided.

"Weeks? Why didn't you tell me?" Edward turned me to face him.

"It…I…I didn't want you to know. You were in and out and Jacob and I were fighting. I just was afraid you would blame me. I'm a mess. I…" I started to breakdown.

Edward pulled me over to the bed. "Bella, why would you think I would blame you?"

"You always blame me. You're always, Bella, fix this. Bella, you should do the right thing and apologize but I didn't do anything wrong. I was just trying to…make a difference. You weren't here. You were in Chicago…I just needed to figure stuff out and now I'm doing this thing tomorrow with Silver J and I'm wondering if I am even doing the right thing anymore. What if Embry never talks to me again? What if he tries to take the girls away from me? What if…"

"Okay just stop. Embry would never do that. I don't really understand why you and Embry are upset with each other." Edward asked confused.

So innocent.

"It's a rap thing." I replied. "They are…at war with one another…don't worry about it."

"So Embry is upset with you for signing up to do this performance with his rival." Edward clarified.

"And…I kind of asked him to join us…which was a big rap war no no." I replied.

"Bella…"

"I was trying to do it for the sake of peace. Did you know that Tianna's father is Silver J. When Embry found out he wanted to ban Savannah from her best friend. The man is mental. Clearly not thinking rationally."

"Bella. Calm." Edward put his hands on me to stop me from my rants.

"I'm just a mess. What do I do? Give up my best friend for principle?"

"You do what you know is right." Edward pulled me into a hug.

"Can you just tell me what is right?"

"No Bella."

A lot of help you are.

I was dressed and in position with my microphone in hand. I could hear the screams from the crowds and it was deafening. The stage shook from the noise.

A thousand times throughout the night I changed my mind. Should I do this or should I not. Even standing here knowing the music was starting, I still didn't know if I was making the right choice. My body moved without me thinking. I started my opening.

I look back on the video from that day that was shot and I can see just how tortured I must have looked. Well into Sean's portion, I practically looked like I was about to either cry or run. I remember Sean looking at me with those eyes that read, get it together but I wasn't in my right mind.

I had just finished my second chorus when I heard a voice that wasn't my own. It wasn't Sean's either. The moment it began, the crowd seemed to suddenly roar five times louder if that was even possible. I looked to stage right and saw Embry walking toward me.

I couldn't even understand what he was rapping not because the sound wasn't efficient; it was because I couldn't comprehend what was happening. Suddenly it hit me as I saw Sean and Embry slap hands as he passed.

She works night and day to promote peace

Rids the world from filth that never will cease

Kicking ass all day, you could call her Cinderella

Compared to her, we all just shady fellas

Kicked my ass so hard and made me admit

So much hate inside that was all my shit.

You may call her Cinderella

But she has my heart

She's my one true Cinder Bella.

I was so…enamored with him being here that I almost missed my cue. My voice practically trembled when I started again and the moment my part was over once more I reached out and pulled him in for a hug while Sean continued.

Embry after I yelled at him that one day, went over to Sean's house and even though swallowing pride is the hardest thing we do, he did it. Sean would later tell me that Embry would come over to work on the song every day and at first it was no picnic but eventually it all just worked.

Like I said before. I can't take credit for this. Embry and Sean may have become friends because of my hard headedness but they were the ones who had to work for it.

At the end of the performance Sean and Embry walked center stage and shook hands. It was all anyone could talk about on social media. The handshake heard around the world as one publication called it. I'm sure it wasn't easy for Run It Thru Crew and Volatile Rap to just jump on board but with Sean heading up Volatile rap it wasn't nearly as difficult for him as it was for me.

I went over to Darren, a.k.a. DNR's house to speak to him personally after I got word from Embry that he was "uneasy" about this. It didn't take long for me to make him realize that his "uneasiness" was unjustified.

Embry and Sean didn't just all the sudden start paling around after the performance but as their paths crossed over the next couple months they soon learned they had much to learn from each other. Both who were top of their game could only be made better with collaboration.

All seemed right in my world once more. I started to think on that short plane trip back to Los Angeles just what I should be placing my focus into. The world was my oyster like some would say and I needed some healthy distraction and pronto. With no more negative feelings filling up my house, I only had my career to refocus on once more. Anything that would get me off of thinking about how I still was not pregnant.

With Edward leaving again in one short week, I knew that it was of high importance that I not wait long for that next distraction to come. Edward was to be gone for five days this time and then I would fly out to meet him and we would go on to D.C. for our dinner at the White House.

White House. What a horror story that was which I am still thoroughly embarrassed by even with that amazing first lady being so dear to me.

Well that whole story I still say started with a knock on the door practically within the same hour of Edward jetting off to Chicago again.

"Garrett? Uh…Edward's not home. He's in Chicago, remember?" I answered the door confused to why Garrett would be at my door, "Did you need Jacob? Is this some pressing society matter?"

"No. I'm here to see you. I have a proposition."


AN: So incredibly overwhelmed with last chapter's response. I could practically have my average chapter word count with all the things you wrote. I love how so divided you all are, makes me know that I'm not writing this so one-sided. Some of you are Team Edward and others are clearly Team Bella. Happy to know that you are still clearly invested into this story and these characters. Thank you for reading and reviewing!