I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. But yes...I've written another 5/Ainley!Master. *prepares for the angry mobs*
And yes, I'm aware I already wrote a drunk!Fivey story, but here's another one, 'cause Goddamnit, the universe needs more drunk!Fivey. (Apparently, drunk!Fivey is a bit of a slut bunny. That's okay, Fivey. Just so long as you're the Master's slut bunny. :) )
Title: "Boys' Night Out"
Starring: Five/Ainley!Master, companions
Summary: Because even Time Lords need time away from it all.
The Doctor just needed some time to himself. Adric and Nyssa's mounting adolescent sexual tension, Tegan's mouthiness, and Turlough's constant lusting over him had him absolutely beat. So, the TARDIS dropped off his whole motley crew on Femoria, where there was a big amusement park where the two teenagers could go snog in the Tunnel O' Love, Tegan could ride some roller coasters and take her mind off Heathrow for five minutes, and Turlough might find some tall, well built man (or woman, he supposed) to go off with. Meanwhile, the Doctor could have some well earned time away from his dear companions.
The Doctor wound up going to a bar (not the kind of place he'd frequent, but it would do) where there was a polite bartender, no sign of Cybermen or Sontarans, quiet, dark ambiance, an Earth cricket match playing on the telly, and plenty of liquor. Perfect.
The Doctor ordered a whiskey and thanked the bartender before sipping it. He winced slightly at the sharp sensation as it went down his throat.
"My dear Doctor," came a dreadedly familiar voice behind him. The Doctor grimaced and tossed back the rest of his drink as the Master took up the barstool next to him, toting a glass of brandy of his own. "What an unexpected pleasure it is to see you here."
"Master," mumbled the Doctor civilly, looking anywhere but the other man's eyes. At the wall, at the TV, at the young couple sitting next to him, staring fixatedly at each other and completely oblivious to anything else.
"What is the matter?" asked the Master, and the Doctor could just hear the devious smile curling up on his face. "Lost your companions, have you?"
"Not lost, no. Merely enjoying themselves without me at the moment," said the Doctor, accepting another glass of whiskey.
"Ah. I see. You've ditched them."
"I most certainly did no such thing!" the Doctor declared. He peeked over again at the young couple, who were now making out emphatically. Oh dear. The Doctor gulped down half his whiskey nervously.
"No need to be ashamed about it," sniffed the Master, sipping his own drink. "You can see why I myself travel alone. It's quite tiresome, putting up with traveling partners."
"The only reason you travel alone is because the only person who could bear your villainy is yourself!" hiccupped the Doctor. "You might have some friends if you weren't constantly wreaking havoc!"
The Master raised an eyebrow. "You're a vicious drunk, my dear."
"I'm not drunk!" bleated the Doctor indignantly. "I've barely two drinks in me! I can hold my liquor quite well, thank you."
"Well, let's test that hypothesis," said the Master, clinking his drink against the Doctor's. "Cheers."
By the Doctor's fifth drink, he was leaning on the Master, almost in his lap, gazing bleary eyed at the cricket game on the television. He pointed at a player on the screen. "And that man, right there, he's just-" The Doctor squeaked as he hiccupped. "Oh, I don't think you should have bought me that last drink."
"Well you were out of money," said the Master, blinking stupidly. He wasn't nearly as inebriated as the Doctor yet, but he too was beginning to feel a bit light headed. The Doctor seemed to find this hilarious, as he started giggling uncontrollably. Then he stopped and looked around.
"Say, where-where did those two go?" asked the Doctor, sitting up, his hat sitting askew on his head. "Those two who were sitting by me? They were kissing. Oh never mind. Hey, why don't we ever try anything like that? Kissing each other, I mean. It'd be a lot nicer than killing each other, don't you think?" The Doctor blushed and giggled some more as he fingered the Master's mustache. "Oh, go on, Master, kiss me. Pretty please?"
"Doctor, I hardly think this is the place-" The Master's words were cut off as the Doctor placed his lips on the Master's and gave him an undignified, large, wet smack. "Oh, was that bad?" fretted the Doctor. "I will admit, I'm a little out of practice. I can do better, look!" Then he embraced the Master and gave him a real, mind blowing kiss.
The Master, who wanted very much to keep kissing his arch nemesis, gently pushed the Doctor away. "You're quite drunk, my dear. I won't take advantage of you."
"But Master," the Doctor moaned, cuddling-seriously cuddling!-into him. "Don't you see? This is what I want, what we both want! We just needed the alcohol to see it!"
"Doctor..."
"You're right, I did ditch my companions. My TARDIS is empty right now. We could...go." Amazing. This Doctor was even bashful when drunk. "Please, Master?" Then the Doctor began kissing him in a way that should be considered illegal in at least sixteen galaxies.
"It's almost noon," whispered Nyssa.
"It's not like the Doctor to sleep so late," said Adric.
"Do you think he's sick?" fretted Tegan.
"There's only one way to find out," said Turlough, pushing open the door. The four of them all stood there, all staring in horror.
The Doctor was lying in bed, naked but all private bits covered with a sheet, thank goodness, with another familiar looking bearded Time Lord, also naked. Their limbs were entangled, the Master lying on top of the Doctor, them kissing hungrily.
"Doc...tor?" squeaked Tegan.
Both Time Lords looked up at the sound in shock. The six people stared at each other stunned silence.
"I can...explain," said the Doctor slowly.
Nyssa, always the level headed one, overcame her stupor and shut the door on the Time Lords.
The four stood out in the hallway, unable to speak.
"I...I have to go...do math," said Adric, quickly excusing himself.
"Um, yes, and I have to...do anything else but this," muttered Nyssa, hurrying off in the other direction.
Tegan and Turlough were left standing there. "I don't...believe him," Tegan uttered, thoroughly awestruck. "It's like he's taken leave of his senses completely. Do you suppose the Master has the Doctor under some kind of hypnosis? Turlough?...Turlough!"
Turlough slightly shook his head. His expression had changed to sort of glazed over, and his eyes were wide, an aroused blush coloring his cheeks. "What?"
Tegan let out a disgusted noise and smacked the back of his head. Then she stomped away, muttering furiously about how "men are pigs" and how "alien men are the worst".
