Okay, so this is the longest chapter I have probably written for this story, anyways, here we go again. So I'm amazed that I haven't actually stopped updating as frequently as I did when I was trying to beat my deadline for finishing Arc 1.
Granted I have relaxed, I am now just trying to go with one chapter a day, mostly so I won't finish too quickly, for any of you with boyfriends or girlfriends, you know that finishing quickly can kill the fun.
Anyways, so some are asking me where I plan on going with this, well, to be honest I'm just a tumbleweed making this shit up as I go along, I do have some plot points that I plan on bringing into the story, but that will have to wait for later.
For now, enjoy the fruits of my Captain Morgan influenced fanfic.
Also quick warning, yes I was slightly tipsy when I made this, and I was thinking of ways to screw with Whitley, I do not really enjoy Character bashing, and some scenes in this may seem like it.
But for those of you who may not like to see Character bashing, no worries, this chapter will be a bit ridiculous, but the rest will be toned down.
"SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" Jeremiah yelled as he ran out into the hallway.
"Woah, this is a nice place." He said as he started to run through the halls.
"Guards! There is an assassin on the loose!" The man from the shower yelled as Jeremiah groaned.
"Oh come on! I'm not an assassin you asshole!" He said as he heard guards coming.
"Damn, I need a place to hide, if he is as big of a dick now as he was on the show, he's going to have me killed. Come on JC think! Think!" He said as he looked around.
He saw a slightly opened door; he did a quick look around when he saw there were no guards around. And he took a dive in and locked the door behind him. Somehow that seemed like a bad idea, granted, there were not a lot of places to hide, so he just prayed that the guards were stupid enough to not search this room.
He heard footsteps running past, they continued to run, and run, until eventually they faded into footsteps, he breathed a sigh of relief, but he still tip toed around the place as he wasn't sure if they were waiting to bust in at the last second.
"Okay, where am I?" He asked as he looked around.
It was a simple bedroom, with a king size bed, a few dozen bookcases, a desk, and a balcony, along with some various other devices he assumed were used for entertainment. This was someone's bedroom, but whose was it?
"Got to be something I can use to clean up around here." He said to himself as he looked around.
"The Art of Conquering Your Rival Corporations? Must be Jacques room." He said as that seemed like a hell of a book to have.
"These Kleenex are worthless." The blood on his body had already dried, so he would need to wash it off later. Right now he looked like a damn barbarian.
It also didn't help that he was wounded and shirtless, that and the beard and shaved head only gave him more of a wild savage look. So all in all, he did not belong in this room.
"Huh? What are these?" He asked as he saw a few hidden magazines.
"Playfaunus, Bunny edition? Oh you got to be kidding me, Winter's dad has a faunus fetish?" Jeremiah flipped the pages really quick.
That was until he noticed that two of the pages were stuck together.
"JESUS!" He almost yelled as he dropped it, that obviously wasn't glue sticking them together.
CLICK
"Shit!" Someone was coming in, he looked around, there had to be a place to hide.
"Bed." He whispered to himself as he dived under it.
Yeah, not the best means of hiding yourself, but considering what had been going on. He was running out of options. So he dived underneath while shifting Red Dawn into its pistol form while holding the bowie knife part in his other hand.
"For Oum's sake, can't find any good help these days." A younger voice said as Jeremiah saw a small pair of feet at the edge of the bed.
"Oh god…this isn't Jacque's room…" Wrong Schnee.
This was Shitley's room…yes he knew that wasn't his real name, but considering Whitley was an asshole, he was changing his name to that.
"I can't believe it took them that long just to shine the armor in the historical artifacts display, what is there to hold you back? It's a bunch of armor! Gosh, I swear as soon as I inherit this fortune, I'm throwing all those barbaric relics out of this house." The voice said as Jeremiah was getting angry.
"And I thought I disliked the little prick before." He thought to himself as he saw a hand reach under the bed.
"Now where is it?" Whitley thought as he was reaching close to Jeremiah.
"What the hell is he reaching f-" Jeremiah's thoughts were cut off as he saw a stack of magazines.
Thinking quickly before he was discovered, he pushed them towards Whitley's hand.
"Ah, there we go." He said as he pulled out the stack and Jeremiah could see what they were now that they were out from under the bed.
"Playfaunus, HouseBroken and collared? Jesus Christ what is wrong with this kid?!" Seriously? At that age, Jeremiah wasn't into that weird shit. Seriously was that some weird BDSM/furry edition? If so, wow that was just wrong.
He really hoped it wasn't what he thought it was.
He was okay with people having fetishes, but how was this kid getting a hold of those magazines already? Seriously? There was no way he was having a servant buy them for him, was he? No, on second thought, it would do no good to think of it.
"Now where did I leave off?" He heard his voice say again.
"He isn't going to…." Jeremiah REALLY didn't want to be here.
And then he heard a zipper.
"OKAY!" Jeremiah popped out from under the bed.
"A-" Whitely was about to scream but Jeremiah covered his mouth and pointed his gun at him.
"Don't even think about screaming, don't even move, and I swear to god, if those pants don't stay right where they are, I will get very pissed off!" Jeremiah was not in the mood for games.
Now Whitley was an arrogant person, he thought of himself as superior, and he saw those who would resort to violence as barbarians who had no place in their society. BUT, when a bald headed bearded man covered in blood holding a gun to your head gives you an order, YOU LISTEN.
"Master Whitley? Is everything alright?" Jeremiah grabbed Whitley and pulled him to his feet.
"Answer the door, and don't even think about telling them I'm here." He said as Whitley nodded as Jeremiah took cover.
"And great, this will look good, I just took a hostage, just great." That was sure to help his chances of getting out of here alive.
The force was definitely not strong with him today. Add that onto the fact that he looked like he was sacrificing an animal…well actually that was not TOO far off, but the point is before he came here, he was fighting a bear, so the adrenaline was still coursing through his veins.
"Master Whitley?" Klein asked as the boy opened the door.
"I-I'm fine." He said as he could see a gun pointed at him out of the corner of his eyes.
"I heard a yell." Klein said as he needed to check on the boy.
"O-Oh! That, I uh, I fell." Klein could see the boy was lying.
"Now Master Whitley, this is a serious problem, an assassin just tried to attack your father…" Whitley's eyes widened as he realized who the man in his room was.
Klein walked into the room as Jeremiah hid away hopefully out of sight.
"And I should investigate to make sure that you are-" Klein was cut off when he saw a magazine on the floor.
"Safe…" He said as he picked it up and read the title.
"W-What is this?!" He said as he couldn't believe what he was reading.
"I swear to Oum! I can explain!" Great, now Whitley was being held hostage, and his nudey magazines were discovered.
"This is unacceptable! No wonder you look so sweaty! I'll have to report this to your father!" Klein walked away from where Jeremiah was hiding and he breathed a sigh of relief.
"That's not the problem!" Whitley couldn't believe this was happening to him right now.
"Just stay here and lock your door! Good lord, as if we didn't have enough problems with this assassin running about." Klein said as he took every single magazine Whitley had hidden away.
"No please!" The door slammed shut as Whitley was all alone with this psycho.
"I did you a favor!" Jeremiah said as Whitley held his hands up.
"Please! I can give you money! Power! Wealth! I'm the heir to the Schnee Dust Corporation, I can give you that!" He said as Jeremiah raised an eyebrow.
"No, you're not, your sister is…" He said as he wasn't sure when he landed here.
"Well…she doesn't know yet.." Okay that answered his question, so it was before the fall of beacon, that was good.
On the flip side, Weiss and Winter's dad was an even bigger douche than he thought.
"Look, I don't want your money, I don't want power, I just want ONE simple thing, can you do that?" Jeremiah honestly wanted to get this over with.
"What is it?! I'll give it to you!" He said as Jeremiah got closer.
"I need to get out of here, and you're going to help me do it…." He said as Whitley nodded.
"You want out! I can get you out!" That was all the stranger wanted? Really?
"And I need a shirt…" He said as he realized he should probably be more prepared.
"Done!" Whitley couldn't believe how easy this would be.
"And some medicine if you have it." Whitley pointed to a medicine cabinet above his desk.
"Perfect, and one more thing…..I need a few…hundred lien." He said as he got the feeling he was going to need currency.
"That's it?" Whitley couldn't believe it.
"This is the dumbest assassin and terrorist I have ever heard of." He broke into the Schnee mansion just for an escape and a few hundred lien? Must be really desperate and really stupid.
"Don't get smart with me you little shit." He said as Whitley nodded.
"Of course! Top drawer! In my dresser!" He saidas Jeremiah led him over to it.
"Get it yourself, I'm not letting you out of my sight." Jeremiah did not trust him enough to turn his back.
"Very well…" Whitley dug out a giant wad of lien he had for pocket change.
"Holy Hell! Rich kid is stacked! Kid has more money in his sock drawer than I used to have in my entire bank account!" That was so unfair.
"There we go, I even added in another few hundred in exchange for my life." Whitley figured if he sweet talked the terrorist he would be let go.
"And how do you propose to get me out of here?" He asked as Whitley looked around.
"There is a gate that goes to our loading docks, I can get you there!" He said as Jeremiah grabbed him.
"Oh no you don't! You'll just call security, I ain't going into that hall-" He suddenly looked up an saw a ventilation shaft.
"No freaking way….Winter….if you were here right now, you would be laughing your ass off, because looks like its time to go 'Die Hard' on this bitch." He thought as he smiled.
"Do you know this house?" He asked as Whitley nodded.
"Like the back of my hand." He replied as Jeremiah smirked.
"What about the ventilation?" He asked as his hostage looked confused.
"Well, yes, but I don't see what." Suddenly he was grabbed by the collar.
"Come on Rich bitch, we're going through the ventilation shaft." He said as Whitley freaked out.
"WHAT?! IT'S DIRTY IN THERE!" He tried to yell.
"If you want, I could put a bullet in your ass." He threatened as he REALLY didn't want to seem like the bad guy.
"…To the vents." Whitley said as Jeremiah opened up the shaft.
"You lead the way, just remember, the bullet in the ass threat still stands." Jeremiah warned as Whitley crawled on his hands and knees.
"But…its so…dirty." He said as he could feel years of dust.
"A little dust never hurt anyone you prissy princess, now move!" He said as he crawled in after his hostage.
So lets get this straight, Jeremiah was attacked by a bear, then was treated to a peep show that felt like he was staring at microbes, and now he has taken Winter's younger brother hostage and is using him to help him escape the Schnee mansion. Honestly, he really hoped she didn't kill him for this.
And that was when a thought appeared in his mind, he was in Remnant! He could see Winter again! A grin grew on his face as he realized he could find her! But it faded when he realized that he had to escape first. And then he grumbled to himself.
"How long do these go on for?" He asked as Whitley snarled on him.
"If we had taken the hallways, we wouldn't be having this problem!" He couldn't believe this man was making him crawl though nearly a mile of ventilation shaft.
"Too bad, life isn't fair, suck it up buttercup." Jeremiah really didn't like this kid.
OUTSIDE THE MANSION
"What do you mean I can't get in?" Winter couldn't believe the guards wouldn't let her in.
"Just as we said Miss Schnee, your father has called for a state of emergency, no one is allowed in or out." The guards said as there were tons of Atlesian knights surrounding the complex.
"I am on orders from the Atlesian army to get his signature for a dust delivery! Do you not see the transport ships we have here?" She gestured to the ships that were gathering at the loading docks.
"I understand that, but a man just tried to kill your father, surely you can understand his panic." The guard said as Winter couldn't believe this.
She really needed to get to Beacon, was this what happened in the show when Jeremiah showed her those dvds? Because seriously, she was really starting to dislike off screen moments, because you think things would go a certain way. Only to find all the boring annoying stuff that happens off screen. Except this was her real life, and it was freaking annoying.
"For Oum's sake, we're Atlesian soldiers, I'm sure if you just ask him, he'll let us in." Winter said as the guard shook his head.
"He's worried one of your men may be the assassin in disguise, I'm sorry Miss Schnee, you'll just have to wait." The man said as Winter was frustrated.
"Fine, I'll wait, if you want to explain to General Ironwood why this is taking so long." She was using her Trump card.
"I'm sure he would have something else to say if his largest supplier was found dead." The guard shot back.
Great, there was no talking sense into this guy. Whoever this assassin was, he was being a real pain in the ass. She swore to god, it would have been easier to get in if they had just shot her father. Not that she was wishing for that, but it would have been less of an inconvenience.
Wow, she actually felt bad for thinking that.
She leaned back against her own ship as a young enlisted man came up to her.
"What's the status Maam?" He asked as she looked at him.
"Apparently my idiot father has someone after him." She said as the soldier nodded.
"So should we get ready to fight this man?" He asked wondering if they were meant to cease the suspect.
"No, we've been forbidden from entering the grounds." She said as the man looked baffled.
"Wait, forbidden? We're the military! We're here to help!" He said as Winter looked at him.
"Trust me Private Radar, stubbornness can lead to stupid decisions." She said as she leaned back and closed her eyes.
She had places to be and a sister to see!
BACK IN THE VENTILATION SHAFT
"How much longer?" Jeremiah asked as he was poking Whitley with his gun.
"About another few feet." He said as he was glad this was almost over.
"I don't see how you plan on getting down there." Whitley said as Jeremiah saw they were far from the ground.
"Damn…." He didn't expect the height gap to be THAT tall.
If he jumped from this height, it would only result in possibly breaking a bone, and then he would be really screwed.
CRREEEEAAAKKK
Jeremiah saw that the noise was coming from the shaft they were in at the moment, he went blank for a second, and then he got a really, REALLY stupid idea.
"Hey Douchenozzle, how old are these vents?" He asked as Whitley didn't understand the question.
"About a decade or two, they've been meaning to repla-" Whitley was cut off as Jeremiah suddenly started making jumping motions.
"WHAT ARE YOU DO-" Suddenly he heard a crack.
"IIINNNNGGGG!" Whitley yelled on the way down as the vent shaft broke from the ceiling and down into the loading dock.
"Oof." Whitley fell out first.
And then Jeremiah came tumbling after him and landed on him.
"OW!" Whitley cried out as he felt his spine crack a bit.
"Ah, there we go, that was fun." He said as he grabbed Whitley.
"So this is it?" He asked as this was the large door that opened to the loading docks.
"Yes, now you'll let me go?" Whitley wanted this nightmare to be over with.
"Sure, I wi…wait, what is that?" He asked as he saw another door.
"That's the door leading to the armor exhibit of the house." Whitley said as Jeremiah grabbed him and took a quick peek inside.
Only to see that this area of the house had a large statue of a knight, he was holding a spear out like a flag, at a point that was high off the ground. And the best part was that he saw there was a balcony you could use to get on the knight statue.
"You said you would let me go! I led you here!" Whitley was scared he was going to be a hostage for longer than he expected.
"Hey! I'm a man of my word, but first…" He turned to look at Whitley in the eyes.
"This is for what you're going to do." He said as he dragged him into that room.
"What do you mea-"
All you could hear was the sound of something being pulled
BACK AT THE GATES
"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" They heard a high pitched voice scream out as Winter was shook from her nap.
"What was that?!" She said as her men prepared their weapons.
"Miss Schnee! You can't go in-" Winter punched the guard.
"Someone is in trouble! We can't sit here any longer!" Winter yelled as she couldn't turn away a woman in danger.
And this woman who screamed was obviously under serious duress!
"Maam! It's coming from that end of the house!" The soldiers said as they started running.
"Surround the perimeter! Make sure no one gets out!" She ordered as they nodded and ran off
"Yes Maam!" They got ready to fight.
Winter was not going to let someone get hurt because some guards didn't want her in. Consequences be damned! How could they hear a girl scream and not do anything!
"PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!" The high pitched voice screamed out again as they got closer.
She rounded the corner ready to fight….Only to nearly die laughing.
"Pffttt…" She had to resist the urge to laugh.
"FOR OUM'S SAKE! GET ME DOWN!" The high pitched voice was revealed to belong to Whitley.
Who looked like he had the most PAINFUL wedgie ever as he was hanging from the spear point of one of her father's giant knight statues. She was trembling as she was trying not to laugh.
"WINTER! PLEASE! GET ME DOWN!" Whitley couldn't believe he had to ask his 'barbaric' sister for help.
"Pffft, HA HA HA HA!" Winter couldn't take it anymore, she burst out laughing.
"Miss Schnee! We have surrounded the peri-" Some of her soldiers saw the predicament.
"OH MY OUM! HA HA HA HA!" Here men started laughing as they saw the site.
"THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" Whitley was not having a good time.
Not only was his underwear made of expensive material, but it was now causing very uncomfortable chafing and tightness, and it was MISERABLE! And he couldn't move or he just made it worse.
"Oh my oum! This is hilarious!" A soldier said as he snapped a photo with his scroll.
"The guys in Unit 7 are not going to believe this!" He said as he texted it to his friends.
"Wait! Pfft…Don't…ha ha…Don't send…" Winter was trying to order him not to send it, but she couldn't stop laughing.
"And sent!" He said as it was now on his way to his friends.
And Whitley could only put his hands into his face in shame.
This was the worst day of his life! How could this day get any worse.
RIIIIIPPP
"Oh no…no! No! NO!" Whitley looked back to see that his underwear was starting to tear from the strain.
RIP!
"NOOOOOOOO!" He then fell fifteen feet to the ground.
SPLAT
He faceplanted into the ground.
"Ooooohhhh." The soldiers said that looked like it hurt.
But then after they got over that, they started to laugh again.
"You know…they teach us not to laugh in front of the men you're leading…" Winter said as she was supposed to keep a stoic face when in danger.
"But…this Is an exception." She honestly couldn't stop laughing.
The man who did this may be an assassin, but she would buy him a beer just for that.
After she beat the hell out of him of course, she may not like Whitley, but he was still family.
ON ONE OF THE TRANSPORT SHIPS
"Uh, thank god." Jeremiah said as he was able to clean up with a wash basin and a gallon of water he found in storage.
He was cleaning all the blood from his face and body before he put on the shirt. Wouldn't do any good to get blood on this shirt, because this looked like some fine quality material, whatever it was, it felt like Egyptian silk and wool mixed into one, because it was comfortable and warm, and it looked freaking fantastic! Whitley may be an asshole, but he was an asshole with good taste in clothes.
"Doesn't really go with the jeans though…" He took a look at his torn up and stained jeans.
He put the shirt on as he took a look at the wounds on his sides.
The claw marks were easy to treat, unfortunately he did have to use a bit of moonshine to help disinfect the wounds, he read somewhere on the internet that alcohol disinfected wounds, but this was all he had. So begrudgingly, he used it to disinfect his arm and his side.
"Damn waste of moonshine." He said as he felt bad for using that much.
He changed his bandages and reached into his survival bag, he still had all of his tools and the jug of moonshine, amazingly the glass jug did not break or even crack during that whole escapade with Whitley or the bear, he swore that Jesus was on his side then.
"Okay, where is this stuff going?" He asked as he looked at the transport list.
"Destination…Beacon Academy…PERFECT!" He said as he caught a break.
How about that? He hit a spot of good luck!
"Okay, here we go." He heard a voice said as he hid in between a few boxes.
"Do we got everything?" Another voice said as the other one groaned.
"Look buddy, I went over this shipment half a dozen times while they were waiting for that nutcase to call of the search for that assassin, trust me, everything is here, and there is nothing to worry about!" The voice was aggravated.
"Okay, relax, geez." The other one said as they closed the door.
And Jeremiah felt the ground beheath him shake.
"Well…off to Beacon." He said as he laid down.
He pulled out an MRE he had in the bag, it wasn't a five star meal by any rate, but after the day he had, it would taste like thanksgiving dinner.
BACK IN ALASKA
"Wow ho ho! Sweetheart! You may want to be a bit more careful." Blaze said as he was leading a woman back to his car.
"You know, I have a 'surprise' for you when we get back to my place." She said with a wink as Blaze was happy.
"This night is awesome…oh hey, what's this?" He asked as he noticed Jeremiah had called him and left a voicemail.
"BLAZE! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! ANSWER THE PHONE! I'M ABOUT TO BE MAULED BY A BEAR AND YOU'RE SITTING AROUND PROBABLY STICKING YOUR COCK IN SOME WOMAN YOU MET THAT NIGHT! COME ON MAN! NEED YOUR HELP HERE!" He heard Jeremiah yelling over the phone as he could hear a bear roaring.
He froze for a bit as he realized that things went very wrong.
"Oh shit…." He said as the woman looked terrified.
"Is everything alright?" She asked as that didn't sound good.
"Uhm, we'll have to continue this another night." He said as she nodded.
"Just go! That sounded serious!" The woman said as he nodded as she hopped out of the car and he drove off.
"Well…damn…" She said as she stood here.
"Too bad…he looked like the kind who would appreciated the surprise I had for him…" She said as she walked away.
He had shown her some of his fanfics when he had a few beers, needless to say, they would have gotten along just fine…oh well.
Mayyyybbe next time.
