A/N
A short update is better than no update correct?
Please read and review "Darkness and White" It's a great story!
Sorry the hubby is rushing me, gotta go live life! Forgive spelling errors!
Cheers,
Rosie :D
CPOV
"Ok Christian, let's do this!" My Angel says as she wraps her arm around my waist and I drape my arm around her shoulder bringing her in close to me.
I feel sick, I don't have control. I don't know what's going to happen, I only know that now, more than ever, I will have to summon up all my strength for my Ana. I need to be strong for her, regardless of what happens, I need to be her rock!
My Angel must sense my concern as she stops us from walking, "Hey, it's ok Christian. Whatever this is, I will be fine. So long as I have you by my side."
I look into her eyes, searching for something, anything? Does she know? Does she have any fucking idea?
"Christian, did you hear me?"
"I'm sorry baby, what was that?"
Fuck! I'm already losing focus!
"I said 'I'll be fine as long as you are by my side.' You will be by my side right Christian?"
"Of course Ana, anything you say."
"Good! Let's go!"
We walk in to Dr. Flynn's office, he is waiting for us and he waves us in. I'm grateful that his secretary is no where to be found.
"Christian, Ana, do come in and have a seat. We will get right down to business."
"Hi Dr. Flynn, I want to begin by telling you that I told Christian everything."
"Everything?!" Dr Flynn practically shouts. Very uncharacteristic of him.
Dr. Flynn coughs, "I apologize you two. Ana, when you say 'everything' what do you mean?"
"You know, about my day on Monday. Seeing you and Dr. Paz."
John takes a deep breath, he knows something! She must have said something to him without realizing it, but how?
"Ana, before we continue," He says as he looks to me. "We can do this alone. Christian doesn't have to be here if you are uncomfortable."
What the hell? I need to be here! She wants me here!
Ana feels my anger and quickly states, "Oh no Dr. Flynn, I want Christian here. He makes me feel safe. I don't want to keep anything from my...future husband." She says as she beams at me.
That's right Flynn!
"Oh? Well, congratulations you two. In that case I agree that perhaps it's best if Christian is here as well."
Dr. Flynn is nervous, I've known him much too long. He does knows about Ana! He couldn't reveal it to me because of that Doctor/Patient privacy crap!
"Ana, did you tell Christian about how I took you back in time?" He asks as he gets a sip of water.
That's how he knows! He hypnotized her!
"I forgot about that part, I didn't think it mattered since we didn't get anywhere." She says impassively.
"Christian, I need you to be strong and hold Ana's hand. Ana, take a deep breath for me."
Fuck! This isn't good.
"Are you taking me back again Dr?"
"Not yet Ana, I need to tell you something before we begin. When I took you back, we did make some headway, so to speak."
Ana stiffens up, "We did? I don't remember anything, what happened Dr. Flynn?"
"I want you to tell me what happened Ana, can you do that? May I take you back in the hopes that you remember?"
"Of course Dr. Flynn but I think I may have known what I said which is why I am here today."
"Oh? Go on."
I feel Ana tremble and I squeeze her hand, "It's ok my Angel, I'm here. No one will hurt you."
"I had a nightmare, only I think it was a lost memory recalled. I saw my roommate Jessica. She was...being raped."
And with those words, Ana rocks herself back and forth and starts crying.
I take her in my lap and she checks out.
"Ana, it's ok baby. I'm here."
"Christian, let me speak to her. Just be a calming presence, can you do that? I need for you to understand that this is what Ana needs from you. If you cannot remain calm you will have to leave. You may end up hurting Ana if you cannot control your emotions in this room. I need your word, it may get ugly Christian. Do you understand?"
Oh Mother of God, what is he saying? What else could have happened to my Angel? What's worse than...
"Christian! Are you hearing what I am saying?!"
"Yes John. I can do this."
"Ok, remember no talking. Just keep Ana calm."
"Ana, it's John. I'm going to take you back again ok?"
"Are we going to see Jessica?"
"Yes we are."
"Oh please, I don't want to. I'm scared, he's waiting there for me!"
"Ana, do you still get headaches?"
"Yes, they hurt John. They hurt me so much!"
Fuck, this is awful. The tears fall freely down my face! I can't fucking bear this! My poor beautiful Ana! Please help me God!
"We can make the headaches go away Ana, but we need to see Jessica."
"No, it's ugly in there. I'm scared! Please! I don't want to go! Please don't make me go! Please!"
"John! Stop this now!" I shout.
"Christian! Be quiet or get out! I'm trying to help her and I need you to be strong, remember. Please, just trust me!"
I reluctantly nod. Please God, please...
"What do you see Ana?"
"It's that man, his pants are down. Jessica's clothes are ripped, she's crying, he doesn't see me. He's...he's inside her. Oh my God! He's an animal, he's a sick animal and he's hurting Jessica! No! Get off of her! Leave her alone! He turns and sees me, I grab something and hit him on the head. It makes him scream in pain and he gets angry with me, he slaps me hard. He's strong, I try to fight him off. I'm strong too. He's angry that I am strong but I'm not strong enough. I look to Jessica, she's wearing my clothes, she's crying, she's saying 'I'm sorry' and I don't know why? I'm tied up, he has me tied up! Oh my God, he's going to take my clothes off, he is taking his pants off!"
I'm going to be sick, I can't hear this! I can't just stand by and hear this! I'm dying from my Angel reliving this nightmare! Please God, make her stop!
She's rocking harder against me, trying to break free, I look at Flynn and he encloses his arms. He wants me to hold Ana tighter which I do, I softly coo in her ear and say, "It's ok Ana, you're safe."
John nods at me as if to say 'Well done.'
Ana begins to tremble and speak again. Help me God! Please help me!
"He's coming towards me, he's removed my clothes leaving me in my bra and underwear, he's going to do it! Please don't I'm a virgin. Is it money you need? I can get you money. Please don't do this to me! He doesn't listen.
I close my eyes, I want it over, I want it over fast! I scream loud, very loud, so loud I feel as though my head will explode. Everything goes black!"
APOV
I jump out of Christian's lap and stand up to look around, I need to get my bearings! Where am I? Oh yes, Dr. Flynn's office. I'm trying to get better.
"Oh my God! I just heard everything that I said. It was like I was there again! Only the outcome was different. I wasn't able to fight him off, he subdued me! He was trying to rape me! I remember everything now!"
I run to Christian crying, he stands up and holds me tight. I must have been crying through out my telling them what had happened that night. My nose is runny and I can feel my eyes burning.
"I'm so confused. Is that why these headaches have recurred? Was I trying to purge this memory out in order to allow me to move forward?" I look to Dr. Flynn for answers.
He motions for me to sit down, I look at Christian and for the first time I see him. He is in pain, so much pain. He's crying! I don't understand.
"Come Ana, sit with me." Christian says as I hear his voice cracking. He's trying to be strong, strong for me. I feel sick. I start to tremble.
I hear Dr. Flynn say, "Ana, you need to know that you are safe. No one can hurt you. You understand that don't you? You're in my office and you are safe, you're here with Christian. Christian loves you very much."
"Please Dr. Flynn, what's going on? Please tell me." I beg.
"John," Christian interrupts, "Ana is tired. I want to take her home."
"I don't think that's a good idea Christian, I think we should continue. We are getting somewhere and we need this out. Ana needs to face this now. She's been avoiding it for much too long."
"Dammit John! I said no!"
My head hurts, I don't understand what's happening.
"Christian, she can't get better if she doesn't face this!" Shouts Dr. Flynn.
They're talking about me as though I'm not here! It's driving me crazy!
"Will someone please tell me what's going on? You two obviously know something and you're keeping it from me! I can't do this! Tell me please!" I shout in complete frustration.
"John, please let me." Christian urges.
Dr. Flynn nods.
"Ana, you know that no matter what I say, no matter what I tell you...nothing will change the way I feel for you." Christian says as he sits me down next to him and squeezes my hand.
"Of course Christian, I know that. Now please, I can't take this anymore, just tell me."
"Ana, I'm so sorry baby." Christian says as his voice cracks.
My head is spinning, I think I'm going to be sick...
"Just say it dammit!" I shout.
CPOV
Please God help me, help me to be strong for my Angel, for my Ana, for my redeemer.
"Ana, you were raped."
