My Toes, My Knees, My Shoulders, My Head

Summary: The rebirth case had finally been resolved. Danzo and Tsunade are cooperating to keep Konoha Council and the rest of the village unaware and unharmed by the secrets that nearly set them all on fire. Sai, Shikamaru, and Sakura were exiled to separate provinces in order for them to regain their health and to keep away from Orochimaru's clutches. After one year of recovery period, the three of them are recalled to Konoha to face the consequences of the rebirth case. Is this the end of their troubles or do they still have the demons of their former conquest left to confront?


Forty – Nine

Sakura:

I twisted the key. The knob clinked. I turned it and swung the door inwards. The silhouette of a man stood in the centre of my living room. Reaching beside the pantry cabinet, I hit the switch and the light bulb flickered to life.

Neji craned his neck to look over his shoulder. Strands of his hair dangled loose from his ponytail.

I tossed the grocery bags to the counter and bent down to undo the laces of my boots. "Are you tempting me to throw a kunai at you? Turn the lights on next time, nocturnal creature."

"I was attempting to use my Byakugan in the dark."

Kicking off my right boot, I said, "In my apartment?"

"There's a festival tomorrow." He strode across the room and closed the door behind me. "Foreigners will be arriving."

"In my apartment?" I slipped off my left boot and stood so we were face to face.

He frowned. "Foreigners and enemies."

I lowered my eyes to the doorknob, and then to my discarded boots. "You mean Orochimaru."

"The Hokage summoned us earlier to discuss the security measures to be taken for the three of you."

"Shikamaru, Sai, and me?"

"ANBUs are surrounding this apartment building right now. Shikamaru will be returning to the barracks this evening because he does not wish to threaten the peace of his home, especially with his little sister and mother being there. Sai is under Danzo's jurisdiction for the time being." Neji latched the door. "I'll be your personal bodyguard from this evening to the end of the festival. Hokage's orders."

I bit the inside of my cheek. I stomped to the living room and knelt in front of the first box my feet led me to. "Lady Tsunade had no plans of including me in those 'security measures'? What am I? A damsel in distress?"

"You are a target."

"I'm a shinobi!" I lifted the box and slammed it on the floor. "I'm fucking capable of protecting myself!"

Neji walked past me. "For all I know, you'd engage Orochimaru in battle at first sight."

"I can fight him!"

He drew the floor-length curtains close over the sliding doors that led to the balcony. "You'll be giving him what he wants, Sakura. Don't be stupid."

I shoved the box towards the other boxes and stormed into my bedroom. Neji yelled after me, asking what I was intending to do. I stripped off my clothes, threw on my cotton robe, and opened the door to present myself. "I'm completely sane and completely calm. I'll be in the bathroom for an indefinite amount of time. If you're worried that I'll be reckless and escape to contend with Orochimaru, feel free to use your Byakugan to check on me. I won't mind."

Neji merely turned around and rummaged the grocery bags.

I walked into the bathroom and turned the faucet on. Cold water splashed against the tiles of the bathtub. The sound drowned the rest of the apartment. I could not hear what Neji was doing in the living room now. If I were to guess, I'd say he was sweeping the place of possible booby-traps and creating one of his own. I dipped my legs in the water. Enticed by the numbness it engulfed me with; I thrust aside my robe and slid my entire body into the tub. My fingers worked on undoing the interwoven hair of my braid.

I thought of my parents and the letter I sent them. Had it reached them? Was dad eating properly? Was mum overworking herself? I sunk deeper into the pool of water, wishing I could disperse and be one with it.

The rap on the bathroom door hindered my eyelids from shutting the world into darkness. I blinked at the transparent shower curtain and remembered that I locked the door. "What is it?"

"Are you...alright?"

I propped my chin on the tub's rim. "You've got to stop thinking that I'll slash my wrists while bathing."

"I don't believe you would," he said. "I simply wanted to check if you were alright."

"Neji?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry I yelled at you."

His footsteps drifted to the hall. "I'm quite used to it."

I allowed myself to be submerged in the numbing cold for a couple of moments more. Satisfied of the calm I had recollected, I dried my body and peeked out of the bathroom. Neji had closed my bedroom door. I tiptoed to my closet and hastened to put on fresh undergarments and a loose, green dress. Finished, I walked barefoot out of my room.

Neji paused from writing his report to glance at me. I managed a curt smile. He dipped his quill into the ink pot and continued to write. I walked over to the kitchen counter to sort the groceries. "Won't you be celebrating with the rest of the gang? They're all in Ino's flower shop, drinking and being merry. Everybody's sort of relieved that Shikamaru's finally back."

"I have already relayed my greeting."

I filled the kettle with tap water and put it on the stove. "It's really difficult talking to you when you answer everything so indirectly"

"Please do not argue with me tonight over such a petty matter."

"Bad day?"

He stretched his arms overhead and groaned. His ponytail slid off his shoulder and fell on his back."Eventful, not bad."

"You should go to Shikamaru's welcome home party." Grabbing two cups of instant noodles, I peeled the covering and poured the contents into porcelain bowls. "Everybody will wonder why you aren't there. It's bad enough that I went AWOL on them. They'll think we're together."

"Well, aren't we?"

I transferred the two bowls to the kitchen counter so we could see each other. "Together as in walking under the moonlight, hand in hand, and stealing kisses in the dark."

Neji set aside the first page of his report and proceeded to write the second page. When he noticed I was still glowering at him, he finally decided to respond. "You don't want Shikamaru to share their suspicions."

"Their 'suspicions' are inaccurate," I said. "Just go there and lessen the damage by proving to them that we're not sneaking behind their back or something. If you don't, we'll have to confront them with either the truth that I'm depressed and you can't stomach the prospect of my suicide or with the lie that we're helplessly in love with each other and you stay in my apartment three times a week."

"You care too much of what others think. Let them be. Let Shikamaru be. Besides, I do stay in your apartment three times a week."

"Geez. Rub it on my face, why don't you."

"Will you be purchasing a couch or should I sleep on the floor?"

"I still have the travelling bag from when I was a genin."

"Are you serious, Sakura?"

"What will you do if I am?"

He dropped his quill into the ink pot and sighed. "I am thrice your size. I'll be surprised if that hasn't occurred to you."

"Maybe you should sleep sitting down."

"And tempt you to crawl to my lap in the middle of the night?" He motioned to the kettle behind me. "I'd rather not."

I turned around to hide my reddening face. Taking the kettle and tilting its nose, I watched as hot water softened the slab of noodles in the bowls. "You're a big bully, you know that?"

"You started the bullying and now you complain. Your character constantly perplexes me."

"With no offense meant, Neji, but are you this kind to everybody?" I carried the bowls of noodles to the dining table, ignoring his stare as I distributed the eating utensils between us. "Because Kiba and the rest are usually scared of getting on your bad side," I said.

Neji tore apart his chopsticks. "I have a bad side?"

"You normally point out everybody's mistake and emphasize how miserable we would be without you. Which is partly true, so no one really bears a grudge against you."

"Haven't I told you that you sit like a man and argue like a child?"

"Haven't I punched you before?"

"You can try but you'll miss." He chewed a piece of noodle, decided it was to his liking, and ate the rest of his food in silence.

I broke my chopsticks in my first attempt to separate them and had to scour the box of utensils for the metal ones I always used. Resuming my seat beside Neji, I said, "You're lucky I'm saving my strength for tomorrow. But in all sincerity, Neji, I think you should take a break from babysitting me and just have fun with the rest of them. I'll be fine."

"I'd rather babysit a drunken you rather than a drunken Lee." He excused himself from the table and announced that he was making tea. "You're less destructive, anyway."

"One of these days I will get you drunk and make fun of you..." I stared at my food. The steam rose and warmed my face. I envisioned Shikamaru sitting opposite me and complaining that the soup took too long to cool. Why was everything so slow? Shaking my head, I scooped the soup with my spoon and savoured the taste on my tongue even though it burned. "But don't you want to see how Shikamaru's doing? You know, catch-up or something? One year is a long time. Plus, you said that you owe him for taking care of Ayano while they were outside of Konoha."

"I'm not particularly eager to be reminded of the rebirth case, Sakura." He placed a cup of tea beside my right hand, his fingers nearly touching mine as they released the china. "If you want me to see how Shikamaru's doing, you can just ask me outright. I hate it when people beat around the bush. We're shinobis not children."

"Will you?" I looked up at him, hopeful.

He sat down. "No."

"Why not?"

"I'm not in the mood to interact with him – or with anybody."

"Aside from me."

"You're my mission."

"Are you in bad terms with Shikamaru?"

"How can we be? We barely spoke to each other this morning."

I leaned back on the chair and folded my arms against my chest. "Are you in bad terms with him because of me?"

Neji sipped his tea, propped his elbow on the table, and inclined his body towards me. "Sakura, you can be too talkative sometimes."

"Why don't you answer the question so I'll shut up?"

"Wouldn't it be easier for you if he remembered everything instead?" He sipped his tea again. "I know that would relieve me of worrying for you every waking second."

"Did he really forget?"

Neji turned his head slowly to look at me. "Didn't he?"

"I'm not sure," I mumbled, stirring the contents of my bowl.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because I'm not stupid," I said, glimpsing him through the corner of my eye. "I checked your medical records. You didn't have the mandatory examination any time before and after you helped Ino take me away from the bar. You lied about having a mission, meaning you were sent there specifically to look after me."

Neji inserted his report in a large envelope and slipped it into this bag. "The Fifth has eyes on you, that's true. Any sane Hokage would. There's no offense in that."

I stood and walked into the kitchen. Finding nothing to busy myself with, I marched into the living room and kicked one of the boxes. Suddenly moving into my own place felt wrong. I wished I stayed in my parents' house.

Neji watched me pace around the apartment, his thoughtful gaze inspecting my every movement. I tossed my tangle of hair to my back and upturned a box full of books.

Neji rose from his chair and approached me. He touched my shoulder.

"Yeah, so the lot of you also think I shouldn't take offense if Shikamaru pretends he has no memory of me." I sat on the floor and ran my hand across my face. "That's how the Naras work. He's done it before and he'll do it again. But for what? Is he pulling apart from me to make us more difficult targets for Orochimaru to capture? No. Not if this is his only option."

"Sakura."

"I could be right, Neji. I didn't imagine the way he touched me earlier," I said. "Shikamaru wouldn't go anywhere near me if he could. Given that his lack of memories should've reverted us to our former relationship, he wouldn't even have…"

"You've created a conspiracy in your head."

"And I'm supposed to trust what you say now? How am I supposed to believe you after you admitted I've been your mission since the bar incident? Maybe even longer?" I scoffed. "For all I know, everything was an act on your part to get me to cooperate with whatever it is the Fifth wants to happen!"

A flash of anger passed his face, quick but evident. It was like a storm dancing across a field and disappearing without a trace. Just like that, his visage returned to that of his usual tranquillity. He sighed. "I don't use trickery outside the battlefield. You were my mission, yes, but it doesn't mean I don't care. I'm telling you to forget about Shikamaru because it will kill you if you don't. And I would protect you from yourself if I could, but I am powerless compared to your stubbornness. I do beg of you to please proceed henceforth without question. Trust me."

"You broke my trust, Neji."

"Sakura – "

"If you don't want me doing anything stupid, you'll tell me the Hokage's plan now. "

"The truth is the both of you remember everything." He paused to gauge my reaction and, upon seeing no change in my expression, continued to say, "But both of you will soon forget. It is the only means through which Orochimaru will find no use of you given that he successfully abducts you. Shikamaru simply wanted to ensure that you won't fight the only solution to this problem. Erasing one's memories is a dangerous endeavour. He doesn't want you to fight it. He wants you to desire to forget about him and live a life free of Orochimaru and the rebirth. Orchestrating everything to make you a willing participant to the mind infiltration is necessary for your safety. But as it is, I'm glad you're aggressive enough to pursue an answer. If you'd proceeded with the treatment bearing this hunch, we'd have risked killing you."

His relief startled me. It struck me then that perhaps he hadn't been lying about his interest in my recovery. "Are you going to surrender me to the Hokage now?"

"No," he said. "You're smart enough to go through with the plan without struggling to retain your memories of him. We're all aware of how far Shikamaru will go to keep you alive. Now I'm interested to see if you can compare."

Shikamaru:

I knocked on the door twice. Thrice. When still, no answer came from inside, I kicked the door and yelled for dad to wake up. The offices in the intelligence division were designed in a way that forced entry would result in the clangour of the thin sheets of metal hidden beneath the concrete walls. That same clangour that dad hated now resonated throughout the corridor.

An ANBU emerged from the darkness. His black cloak swayed with the wind pouring in from the open window behind me. The two hollow dots where his eyes should be focused on my foot, which was pressed against the doorknob.

I stepped into better lighting and motioned to the double doors I had attacked. He read my father's name on the placard, nodded, and disappeared. By now, they should have been used to my methods of arousing dad from sleep. No one mentioned it, but he was the most difficult person to wake when his slumber was caused by fatigue. He wasn't getting any younger. He should start accepting his limitations and retire to our house before sunset. Mum needed all the help she could get with Yutsuki, anyway.

Footfalls from within the office fractured the silence in the corridor.

The knob twisted, and the door stood ajar for a couple of moments.

I used my foot to push it inwards. This was another thing I couldn't understand about dad. He bothered to open the door, but he wouldn't open it wide enough to invite me in.

Dad slogged back to his chair and picked up his quill. The candlelight flickered as I entered the room, casting irregular shadows on the walls. A strand of grey hair curled beside his left ear. He scratched the scar across his temple and pretended to be reviewing the documents in front of him. "How's the celebration?"

"Great." I plopped on Inoichi's swivel chair. The springs beneath the cushion squeaked. "I was a guest-of-honour-turned-referee."

He peered above his reading glasses to see me. "Who fought?"

"Kiba and Lee." I turned the chair and lifted my arm to show him my torn sleeve. "I was like beef strips between Choji's canines. Unforgiving. I thought I would die. Somebody keeps on adding sake in Lee's drink. We can't guess who."

Dad smirked. He ripped open a brown envelope and spilled its contents on his desk. "Inoichi used to do that to me."

"Slip sake in your drink?"

"No..." He cleared his throat. "Something that caused me to go wild and end up suspended for two months."

"Two months?"

"Yes."

I glanced at the photo sitting on the corner of Inoichi's desk. He donned that fatherly grin, his arms wrapped around the shoulders of a ten year old Ino. "I always knew that man is more evil than he lets on."

"That man saves my life time and again."

"What did he put in your drink?"

"Why in the world will I tell you?"

I stood, hands in my trouser pockets, feigning innocence as I strode towards him. "It can be like a father-and-son thing. You know? Our secret? The one thing mum's not supposed to know about?"

He put down the documents and scowled at me. "The province did horrible things to your brain."

I dropped the innocent act. "Spit it out, dad."

"It can't be our 'father-and-son secret'," he hissed, throwing a glance at the door as though in fear that somebody was eavesdropping on us. He straightened his pose on the chair and lifted his chin. "Your mother made that drug."

I stopped in the middle of the office. "Mum drugged you? What did you do to her?"

"You take your mother's side too often, Shikamaru."

"C'mon, dad, what did you do?"

He walked to the nearest shelf and took out three books with green spines and gold inscriptions. "I didn't do anything. Yoshino turns into a mad woman on the fifth month of her pregnancy. It was a new kind of psychedelic drug. She tweaked its contents and sold it to the Hokage. When she was pregnant with Yutsuki, she tried to chop off my beard in my sleep."

I checked the wall clock. One in the morning. "Will Yutsuki be fine at home? Alone with mum?"

Dad eyed me from head to toe. "You grew up to be a functional young man, didn't you?"

"What kind of assurance is that? It's a full moon, dad. Does mum go crazy on full moons?"

The movements of his hand slowed. The quill spilled ink on the paper. The ink swelled and sank. He dropped the quill into the ink pot, removed his reading glasses, and smiled at me. "Seriously, though, you did grow up to be greater than the man Yoshino and I prayed you would be."

I felt myself smile back at him. The tightness in my chest alleviated and was replaced by a swarm of locusts, nipping at my innards, pumping bile up my throat. I swallowed to suppress the nausea. "You really believe that?"

He leaned back on his chair, his fingers intertwined above his stomach. "You're uncertain if you made the correct decision regarding Sakura."

"...Is it so obvious?"

"What you're feeling, son...it's normal."

"How can you possibly know?"

"We let go when it's time to let go," he murmured, his voice tempered to suit the melody that the wind and the trees and the crickets sang outside. "We do the right thing for the woman we love, even if it means losing a huge part of our soul. Don't think that love is unjustified by youth. Very few shinobis of your age and rank can do the things you did for Sakura. You should be satisfied with the fact that you did well...and are doing well by pursuing this plan."

I turned my back on him. My shadow stretched before me; an expanse of black against the orange illumination across the floor. I wondered how a shadow could have a soul, more so lose a part of it to a woman so alive and beautiful and...so significant to the village. "In all honesty, dad," I whispered. "Are you saying that to me because you want me to feel good about myself or because it's the truth?"

A long, ragged sigh escaped him. "I promised that I won't dictate your life."

"But am I right?" I twisted my foot to his direction, hesitant to witness his reaction to my inquiry, and looked over my shoulder to see him. "Dad?"

"I can't lecture you about that," he said. "I did the same to Aiko, remember? I sacrificed my reputation and my family to guarantee her freedom from the burden that I was. You decided to follow the path that Shikame, Michio, and I treaded. I'm not surprised, really."

"You make it sound like a curse."

"We usually end up with the next woman we fall in love with."

"You didn't fall in love with mum until after you had me."

"True."

"I don't regret doing this," I said. "This is the only solution. I'm correct. Sakura's future will be better secured this way. The village needs her. She has to be strong."

"You treat her otherwise with this plan of yours."

"After the mind infiltration, could you...uhm, could you make sure that Neji continues to take care of her?"

His eyes widened. Wrinkles overlapped on his forehead. "Is that your wish?"

I nodded. "She'll need someone to fall back on. Neji understands the situation better than any of our other friends does. Did you know that he denied having a relationship with Ayano because she ordered him to? She didn't want people talking about them. Still, he found ways to spend time with her and strengthen their bond. He endured Ayano. He meant well for her. You saw how mad Neji was at me earlier. He'll do more for Sakura. He will."

Dad walked over to me and slapped my back. I stumbled forward and grabbed the nearest chair to regain my footing. He put his hands on his waist and looked down at me. "You want my honest opinion? I think you're giving up too soon. You're not going to die when your memories are erased, son. You're being given a fresh chance to form a bond with her that is not based on the uncertainties of the rebirth case. Of course, you'll be safer away from each other, but nobody said that Orochimaru's schemes will last forever. This will end, and I'm convinced that you'll regret it if you give up on her too soon."

"It's been a year, dad!"

"So what?"

I clutched the backrest of the chair, deeply stung by his words.

So what?

He scoffed. "One year can change people, but it takes longer than that to change the heart. It's lame, you don't have to tell me, but it's true. Besides, Sakura's the reason you stopped smoking."

I felt for the cigarettes on my breast pocket. "I never stopped," I grumbled.

"You did." He motioned to my trouser pocket where a lighter was hiding. "You haven't smoked a single cigarette in the last three months. We bring you back here in this village, and the very horror of meeting her again and confronting her with your plan awakens your cravings."

The last three months. Those were the months I spent overcoming the trauma and recovering my memories. They said I shouldn't have tried so hard, and I retorted that if I forgot about Sakura, no one would fight the battle with her. Orochimaru posed a threat so severe that he could consume her in a blink of an eye. I'd torture myself with the memories if it meant I could resume my post as her protector...a man by her side to take the blow for her.

That man could no longer be me; however I was content with being in the shadows. I was a Nara. This was my specialty.

I chuckled. "Well, dad, it's too late to retrace my steps. I can't go to her apartment at one o'clock in the fucking morning and tell her that I hit my head and the memories are suddenly back. I remember you, Sakura. I stabbed my gut for you. We spent several weeks stranded in my family's forest lodging and halfway through the rebirth case, I fell in love with you. Please don't tear my spine when I confess that I lied to you about losing my memories because I can't stand to see...to see you...no, to hear you say that you don't give a fuck about what happened. It's best to assume that nothing happened at all. There. That's your son and heir – a coward and a fool to believe that I can return and things will unfold the way they usually do when a man saves a woman. Hey, it also helps that I can't form a decent shadow binding jutsu and my ninja skills barely qualify for genin level. I constantly drop my chopsticks while eating and collapse without warning. Sorry, Sakura, but I can't throw a kunai at the enemy for you. I'm useless scraps of the Shikamaru you knew. Fuck. The province did toy with my brain if I'm telling you all these shit."

Shikaku took his glass of water and offered it to me. "Drink. You look miserable."

"Thanks, dad." I wrapped my hands around the cup. The cup slipped from my grasp. It shattered on the floor, the shards skidding in all directions. My hands remained in mid-air, frozen and unfeeling.

Dad dragged a chair behind me and pushed me down to sit. I flung my arm and hit his chest. He doubled backwards and fell. I slammed my hands against his desk over and over and over, hoping they would feel again. Feel something. Feel something.

Anything. Even just pain.

Shikaku:

His whimpers and his desperation and his outburst became too much for me to endure, but I endured them. This was better than to have him contain his emotions. This was improvement, I thought. At least now, he trusted me enough to show me that my son was young and in need of a father.

He was so much better now compared to when Asuma died.

I rose from the floor and went to the door to lock it. Nobody else had to see him this way.

Sakura:

I breathed in and out. Nohara transferred the stethoscope to my back. The sleeves of her blue kimono draped over my shoulders when she clasped my jaws to steady my head. I mentioned that I was happy to see her again, but could she please be gentle on me? I hardly slept. "I can't exactly call that sleeping, either. I think I damaged my senses overnight," I said.

Neji opened a window, allowing the noise in the streets to pierce the looming monotony in my apartment. A burst of white light blurred him from view. Only his black uniform assured me he was still standing there. He slapped the base of his spine and winced. "I've never been so uncomfortable in my life."

"I told you to use the travel bag."

He rotated his head clockwise. "I'm going to pretend you never suggested that."

"I threw an extra pillow at you."

"I was already asleep," he said. "Asleep and uncomfortable."

"At least you fell asleep. Are my eyes bloodshot, Nohara?"

She resumed her seat in front of me. She folded my sleeve up to my elbow and flattened her palm on my forearm. "Slightly, although I wouldn't notice them from afar. Next time, don't fool around with a Hyuuga before a big event."

Neji and I sighed in chorus.

"We're not sleeping together," I said, for what seemed like the hundredth time in two weeks. "We're friends. Good friends. Can we please focus on my check up, Nohara?"

She placed two of her fingers below my jaw. "You're fine. Your response to the medicine is excellent. Shizune will supply you with this drug every seven days. Inject it two times a day; one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Never at night. You'll be too giddy to sleep."

"I need sleep," I said as I studied the tiny, glass bottles she aligned on my dining table. Sometimes I wondered why I took up this profession. An ordinary shinobi carried the responsibility of launching the offense and defence. Medics had to watch the dying die. We had to confront life and death in all its forms on a daily basis. Surprisingly, this was the first time I realized this haunting truth.

Nohara kissed my forehead. "I'm leaving, sweetheart. You'll be a great success today."

I embraced her waist and mumbled that I would miss her. I didn't care that I sounded like a child. She was the closest to a kin I ever had. Naruto belonged to an entirely different league, of course. He was Naruto, and no one could compare to that idiot friend of mine.

Nohara removed her dragonfly hairpin and used it to keep my bangs off my face. "There. So the dullness of your uniform won't affect your performance. It's a special day for such a young kunoichi. We're all very proud of you."

From my peripheral view, I noticed Neji watching me. He had on that expectant gaze, although I couldn't gauge exactly what he expected from me. We had discussed this last night, and tried as I might to get a shut eye and abandon my anxieties, I could not. The dread of confronting the truth nagged me until I conceded to dwell on them in a never-ending loop.

At four in the morning, Neji finally reached the pinnacle of his patience and jabbed my nape to help me sleep. I had woken up two hours later and saw his unconscious body leaning against the side of my bed, his knee pulled up to his chest and his head flung over his right shoulder.

He must have been watching over me the entire time.

He must have tried to suppress his fears as well; fears mainly driven by my inability to remain calm and clever in matters that involved the heart. Now the expectancy in his gaze warned me to keep our secret a secret.

Nohara rounded my chair and announced that she was leaving.

An image of her and Kakashi on the front porch of the provincial house occurred to me out of the blue and I twisted on the chair, her name on the tip of my tongue. A gush of wind passed my face. I blinked and scanned the living room. She had gone too fast.

"She's ANBU," Neji said. "You ought to stop getting startled."

I collected his chuunin vest from the kitchen counter and approached him. He sidestepped to share the window with me. His hair, free from its usual ponytail, flew to my cheek and tickled it. Noticing me evade his hair, he swept it over his opposite shoulder.

"It's so nice to see the village busy," I said. "The fireworks display should be the best tonight. TenTen helped the pyrotechnicians complete their work, didn't she?"

He rubbed the underside of his left eye and yawned. "She's been gloating about that newly acquired skill of hers. Pyrotechnic. If she uses that in the battlefield, I will hide under the earth."

"That will be quite the sight."

"Do you want to watch the fireworks tonight?"

"Sure."

"We can see it better from the farmer's district." He made round motions with his hand. "There's a circular plateau behind Mr. Kishimoto's barn. He lets me train there on days when I have to meditate for hours. If you lie on your back in the late afternoon, you can watch the sky turn from blue to pink to orange and then to a deep blue...the most beautiful part is the transition to black. Words cannot give justice to its splendour. Although, I suppose it won't be safe to bring you there this evening."

I waved at Mr. Miyazaki, my landlord. He raised his cane and waved it in the air. "But tonight is perfect if we're going to watch the fireworks," I said.

"That worries me. Loud noises. Distracted people." He looked down at me, as though imagining me gone from his side. "The perfect opportunity to abduct you."

I dared to look him in the eyes. "Why don't you suggest they erase my memories this morning? You didn't have to wait this long to do it."

"You promised me last night you will cooperate. We're all making this easier for you, if you haven't noticed."

"I won't be reckless," I said. "And I'm sorry. I'm trying to be normal with you but it's difficult."

"It's alright. If I estimated correctly, even your memories of spending time with me will be erased. We'll be back to normal soon enough."

A crackle of laughter below us stole our attention. Mr. Miyazaki had bumped into a lamp post and was apologizing to it, mistaking the solid concrete for a human. Our neighbours enjoyed the scene before enlightening him of the fact that it was actually an inanimate object that he hurt.

Neji's frown turned into a smile. I passed him his chuunin vest. Beneath the stiff fabric, our hands touched. The heat of his skin spread through mine. I slipped my hand away, slowly. He paused for a moment and then unfastened the buckles of the vest. Slipping it on and zipping up the inner portion, he fastened the buckles and stole a glance at me.

"I hope against an attack. The last we need is Orochimaru in the same place as Konoha and Suna."

"Who is heading our security?"

"Mr. Nara is," he said. "Kakashi has Nohara and Captain Yamato under his command."

"I'm guessing you answer to Nohara."

"Yes."

"Captain Yamato will be Shikamaru's bodyguard, then."

He tightened the knot of the straps at the side of his vest. "No. The captain will be overseeing the grounds and will be acting as our immediate defence. Kakashi has volunteered to be Shikamaru's bodyguard. The Hokage has increased the possibility that Orochimaru will target him. We function on the hierarchy of action with you as top priority, Shikamaru second, and Sai last. Although, Sai is out of our jurisdiction, really. Danzo is responsible for whatever happens to him."

I sat on the window ledge and fiddled with the tip of the curtain. My fingers itched to grab hold of an object and pitch it as far as it would go. But I shouldn't show Neji the anxiety sticking to the lining of my stomach and weakening my sense of stability. A kunoichi shouldn't be so shaken. "Why increase the hazard on Shikamaru?"

"Master Jiraiya advised Lady Tsunade to do so."

"But why?"

He pulled the windowpane inwards, shielding us from view of the village. "It only makes sense, Sakura. Orochimaru is weak and desperate and upset at the loss of Takeo's program. He'll target the least person we expect to be targeted – Shikamaru."

"Because he's convinced that we'll prioritize those who suffered from the rebirth jutsu."

"It doesn't help that Shikamaru's genius enabled him to disable an ongoing rebirth ceremony. Orochimaru originally aimed an attack on the Fifth through a boy named Akiyoshi for the purpose of discovering the flaws of the jutsu. Since she's Hokage now and impossible to capture – "

"He wants Shikamaru." I rubbed my hands together to regain their warmth. "Another reason why he decided to pretend that he hasn't recovered from his memory loss."

"Nobody can find out, Sakura."

I stood and paced the length of the living room. I stopped in front of him, my hands on my waist, my breath stuck in my mouth like grit. "The bigger risk still lies on me, right? I'm still the main target. Right, Neji?"

"Don't make it sound as though it's a good thing," he said.

I fetched my gloves in my bedroom and said, "It's not like I'll offer myself to Orochimaru to guarantee Shikamaru's safety. C'mon, Neji. Let's go. We'll be late."

Kakashi:

Five children chased a limp dog into a pet shop, their bickering over the stray animal's health overpowering the chatters of the adults in the street. An elderly woman stepped aside to let a group of carpenters pass. Blue rope bound the timbers over the men's shoulders. Pinned to that rope was a note that read: FOR THE PODIUM.

I thought of Yamato. He must already be in the hospital grounds, waiting for these timber to arrive so he could create that podium. I pity the man.

A woman in a blue kimono exited the apartment building. One of the carpenters grinned at her. She nodded at him and walked to the middle of the street where I stood.

"Sakura's ready," Rin whispered. She followed my gaze towards the sky. Sunlight emphasized the paleness of her throat when she tipped her head back. "The forecast said there's twenty percent chance of rain in the afternoon," she said.

I stripped my eyes off the clouds and turned around. "Maybe the forecast will change."

"A thunderstorm?"

"No thunder."

She hooked our elbows. "What kind of storm would that be without thunder?"

I prodded us to advance north to our destination. "I feel there will be lightning. Something strong and evident and frightening but quick in passing. Something subtle."

Nohara pulled her sleeve over her forearm to conceal the ANBU uniform underneath her kimono. "I hope not, Kakashi."

We walked to the hospital in silence like normal people, living in a normal day. We wouldn't admit it to each other, but we both knew the lightning was on its way.

Shikamaru:

Yutsuki Nara was a fat girl. Her weight numbed my thighs so quickly that I had to shift her position on my lap every five minutes. The both of us stared at the hallway, waiting for mum and dad to emerge from the hearth room.

She pulled her skirt to her mouth and dropped her head on my shoulder to glance back at me. Saliva dripped from her mouth and to her bib. I kissed her temple. She giggled.

This was our first meeting, but mum said that Yutsuki had been familiar with my face for months now. Mum and dad made sure she saw a picture of me every morning from the day she was born. It didn't stop her from crying when mum forced her into my arms, of course, but it did help make it easier for us to be comfortable with each other.

My baby sister realized I was the man in the photo; I wasn't a flat coloured piece of paper contained in a picture frame. I was actually a live human being – her brother, in fact.

She slapped her saliva-drenched fingers on my chin. I growled. She slapped me again and pouted. Splotches of pink erupted from her wobbling cheeks. She must have pricked herself with the stubbles of my growing beard.

"Serves you right," I said.

Yutsuki stuck her tongue out. My left arm weakened, suddenly. I secured her on my lap with my right arm and prayed that I wouldn't drop her.

Not now. Not now.

Mum stepped into the hall, donning her shinobi uniform. Dad adjusted the width of her chuunin vest while she checked the contents of her pockets. He produced a kunai and a smoke bomb and handed it to her. She inserted them inside the pocket attached to her right thigh. They spoke in low voices to each other. I couldn't hear them clearly from the living room.

Dad smoothed mum's hair over her head, frustrated with her protruding bangs as usual. She tapped her leg while she spoke. He made motions that hinted me he was briefing her of emergency routes.

They stood apart. He flexed his wrists. She bounced on her toes. He thrust the lower portion of his palm to her chest. She bent sideways to dodge the attack, her foot scraping the floor for balance, and she aimed her elbow at his jaw. He captured her forearm and lifted her off the floor by the waist. Startled, she flattened her foot on his shoulder and kicked him on the chest with her other foot. He doubled backwards with a grunt, never losing hold of her vest, and rammed her against the floorboards.

The panels split and crunched.

"Dad!" I transferred Yutsuki to the nook of the couch, surrounded her with pillows, and dashed to the hall. Mum's legs jutted from the hole on the floor.

Dad spun towards me and landed on his right knee, his fingers clasped together to summon a shadow binding jutsu. Mum disappeared in clouds of white smoke. Dad's shadow stretched past my feet. I turned on my heels with my arm bent over my face.

Mum lunged forward. Our wrists collided. The tip of her kunai pointed at my throat. She cursed and lowered her eyes to her feet where dad's shadow had bound hers.

"What the hell are the both of you doing?" I exclaimed.

"Sparring," dad said. "I have to make sure that your dear mother can still defend herself."

I put my hands on my hips and glowered at mum. "You were trying to be impressive, weren't you?"

"You rarely see me in action," she said. "Shikaku! Drop the jutsu this instant!"

Dad's shadow retreated. She lowered her arms and returned the kunai in her leg pocket, grinning. "Were you impressed?"

"I'm frightened."

Yutsuki's cry instigated a race to the living room. Dad scooped her up and asked her what was wrong, as though my little sister could formulate words and express her thoughts at such a young age. Mum felt her diapers. Yutsuki stuck her finger into her mouth and smiled.

We all shared a glance and laughed. I watched them from the corner of the living room, too ashamed to go any nearer. It was my fault that dad had to arrange a safe house for them for the duration of the festival. Certainly, they were safer with me out of the picture.

"Shikamaru!" Mum's face flushed crimson.

I cringed.

"Why are you standing so far from us? Get your lazy ass here! I'm not leaving this house without a big hug from only son!"

I dragged myself to her place and embraced her. "Mum, I'm not a child anymore."

Yutsuki nodded at dad.

Mum caressed my head. Despite her uniform, she still smelled of onions and rosemary and garlic. I rested my forehead on her shoulder. She ran her hand up and down my vest. "You'll be good, Shikamaru," she whispered. "You'll do good."

The beating of drums punctured the peace in the house. ANBU entered the living room to announce that Suna was at the gates of Konoha.

I kissed mum's cheek and Yutsuki's, too. "Be safe, okay? It'll be troublesome if something happens to you. Dad, time to go."

Tsunade:

Jiraiya dropped his knapsack on the floor and sat on the edge of my desk. His white hair coiled on top of my paperwork. I rose from my chair and scratched my head. He sighed, rotated his injured shoulder and yelped.

"In case Orochimaru does appear, I want you to leave him to me," I said as I dug my fingers on the gap between his joints. The swelling of his muscles hindered my chakra from reaching the fracture. "Go to Shizune and have this treated. Suna will be arriving soon. I can't get my thoughts straight with you around, presenting me with more injuries. Shoo."

He gripped his shoulder and grimaced at me. "I'm 'presenting you with more injuries' because I need you to heal them. Now will be the perfect time to fix me. Konoha can't have its Hokage wrestling with a snake while they run around, screaming."

"That's what contingency plans are for, you moron."

"You won't be fighting Orochimaru, Tsunade." He jumped to his feet and walked away from me. "He's my responsibility. Focus on the village."

I looked behind me - out the window and at the village he spoke of. "We're not certain he'll make an appearance. We prepared well for this. Besides, you said it yourself that Orochimaru is weak. He won't be showing his face around knowing that you and I are in the same place. The Kazekage, too, will be delighted to crush his fangs the next he encounters him. It will be too risky for his liking."

Jiraiya marched towards me and flattened his hands on the desk. "It's going to be something subtle."

"Shikaku has secured Shikamaru and Sakura," I hissed, flattening my hands on the desk as well and looking him in the eyes. "We've got things under control, Jiraiya. You, of all people, shouldn't be so frightened of his threats. Didn't you use to tell me that this is exactly what Orochimaru wants from us? To worry to an extent of madness?"

"I hardly saved you the last time."

The door opened. Danzo entered my office and closed the door behind him.

Jiraiya straightened his clothes and frowned at him. "To what do we owe this visit?"

He slanted his cane, as though testing its strength before putting his weight on it. "Sai collapsed," he said.

"What?"

"He's recovered." He coughed and stopped in the centre of the room. "But he complains of a nauseating feeling that has been bugging him since he woke up at dawn to train. He mentioned a feeling...a feeling that there are too many eyes watching his movements."

The beating of the drums cut me off my response and warned me of Suna's arrival. The sound prompted a headache to overwhelm my thoughts. Slowly, I descended to my chair and tented my fingers in front of me. "Something subtle," I said. "He's going to attack, but it's going to be made against one person and that attack will be subtle. It's not going to be Sai that Orochimaru will want. No, Sai is just a victim of Ryo's reaction to the failure of the rebirth ceremony. Our major concern rests between Shikamaru and Sakura. Which will he want more: the survivor of a rebirth jutsu who has recently made a breakthrough in human regeneration or the saviour who managed to impede an ongoing rebirth ceremony and discover the major flaw of the jutsu?"

Neji:

Shinobis from every military division were present. They filed behind the medics, who were given the privilege to occupy the front rows facing the podium. They fidgeted on their seats, commanders and ordinary shinobis alike.

Beyond the hospital gates, the villagers huddled to get a better view of the ceremony that would start within the next half hour. Children sat on their fathers' shoulders and pointed at the decorations that brought life to the podium. Mothers cradled their little girls and explained to them the significant event that would unfold before their very eyes. Teenagers put on their hats to shield themselves from the heat of the sun.

I blinked at the ground to vivify the images that the Byakugan were feeding me. Sweeping my gaze over the hospital, I scrutinized each patient who peered from his room. Were their bandaged limbs concealing injuries or weapons? Were all these patients Hidden-Leaf shinobis and villagers?

TenTen, Lee, and seven other shinobis guarded the rooftop. I withdrew the chakra from the ducts surrounding my eyeballs, liberating my nerves from the strain of the Byakugan, and assured myself that no threat lingered nearby.

I turned to the hospital's entrance where I left Sakura. When I found the spot void of her, I turned around to scan the place. Her pink hair caught my attention immediately. She was crouched beneath a tree, holding her head and wiping the sweat off the side of her face. She saw me looking and forced a smirk.

I hastened to her side. "What's wrong?"

"Hot." She fanned herself with her hand. "Sun's too hot."

"There's cold water inside." I studied the group of trees scattered behind us. The rays of light penetrating the canopy helped little in scaring away the gloom in this area. "Sakura, don't go anywhere without me. Do you understand?"

"I'm nauseous, Neji."

"Perhaps you're anxious about the ceremony?"

She shook her head, her bangs spraying sweat on the ground. "Too many eyes. Watching me."

"Sakura?" I guided her to sit on the ground and undid the first three buckles of her chuunin vest to allow her to breathe more easily "Elaborate. Who's watching you?"

"Too many people, Neji." She clung to my arm and squinted at the podium. "The sun's too hot. I'll be fine. Just need to rest for a bit. It's the sun, I'm sure. It's only the sun."

Shikamaru:

Kakashi waved at us from the hospital gates. Dad and I walked on the path cleared by the sentries tasked to manage the crowd outside the hospital. I dipped my hands in my trouser pockets and cast my gaze on the billowing dust beneath my feet.

My shirt stuck to my skin with heat and dampness that gave me the impression that I was steaming. I swayed my shoulder upward to wipe the sweat skating down my neck. The weight of the vest tripled gravity's pull on my body.

A pair of hands seized my arms to stop me from walking. I steadied my stance and glanced at dad. He let go of me and asked if I was feeling alright.

Kakashi remarked that I appeared too preoccupied.

I swallowed to moisten my throat. "Fine. I'm fine."

We crossed the entryway with my two superiors marching on either side of me. I shrank in their midst, mentally, physically, and emotionally. These men were perfectly aware that I had lost my ability to defend myself. Perhaps this was the reason I hid my fists in my pockets too often.

Dad glanced sideways and pointed at the distant collection of trees east of the hospital.

Crouched beneath the shade of the biggest tree were Neji and Sakura. Neji had his hand on her back, as though soothing her of an ache. She held his hand like one would hold a kunai in battle.

Kakashi said, "There might be a problem. Sakura seems unwell."

"Hasn't Nohara confirmed her health earlier?" asked dad.

Their voices drifted from my consciousness. I whipped my head around me, searching for something that I couldn't define. My eyes darted from shinobi to shinobi, villager to villager. I turned and turned and stopped in Sakura's direction.

She was looking at me. She must've sensed the million eyes watching us.

Sakura:

Why hadn't I admitted my fears to Neji? I should have blurted the truth after I saw Shikamaru inspecting the people inside and outside of the hospital grounds. He had felt the same dread that had engulfed me, and all I did was assure Neji of my strength and proceed with the ceremony as though nothing was wrong.

But something was terribly wrong.

Lady Tsunade slid the document towards me. I jumped on my seat, nerved upon remembering that I was on the podium, sitting beside the Fifth Hokage, one chair away from the Kazekage. Rows and rows of my commanders and colleagues surveyed my every movement. How long had I been staring at the table?

Shizune's hand appeared before me, a pen on her palm.

I inhaled and exhaled quietly and took the pen from her. She pointed at my name on the middle of the page. I made the first stoke, breathed deep, and continued to write my name.

Sakura Haruno.

Shizune collected the documents from me and walked to the other side of the podium. A Sand official received the documents from her and laid it in front of Gaara.

I shifted on my chair and glimpsed the crowd. My attention chased an invisible movement within the hospital grounds. I found Shikamaru at the very back of the crowd of shinobis. He stood next to Temari. They were discussing something, and Temari's scowl suggested she wasn't very happy about what he was telling her.

I gasped. The movement I was following had closed in on Shikamaru.

Lady Tsunade touched my hand and leaned close to me. "Sakura, you're behaving strangely."

Kakashi approached Shikamaru. The two of them travelled the outskirts of the crowd and joined Shikaku and Inoichi on the front rows. The invisible movement vanished. I placed my hand on my stomach. Lady Tsunade told me to drink water. I took the half-filled glass of water to my right and consumed its contents in one gulp.

Shizune and the Sand shinobi put the signed contract on the middle table and ordered us to rise. We stood as one body and formed two parallel lines to shake each others' hands.

Shikamaru:

I informed dad that Temari had agreed to cooperate with our effort to detect any existing threat from Orochimaru. She was anything but pleased with the additional burden; nevertheless, she made it a point to congratulate me on my recovery.

Had Sakura thanked me properly for my sacrifice? I lied to her that our relationship was proceeding well.

Applause resounded from the crowd. The villagers hooted. The officials from both villages descended the podium. I continued to look at Sakura, hoping she'd look back and we could smile at each other and it wouldn't be such an awful lie that our relationship was proceeding well.

Her colleagues from the hospital shook her hand and patted her back. Kazuo ruffled her hair. She smacked his head and scolded him. Lady Tsunade rolled her eyes. Shizune laughed at her underlings.

Neji stood at the tail of the cluster, seemingly distracted by the noise of the onlookers and the interactions happening around us. Sakura strode past a file of people and flung her arms around Neji's neck, forcing him to bend to her height.

I tried to shift my focus but failed. The procession faded from my awareness. All my mind could process was her mouth touching his cheek while she whispered something to him. He put his hand over his nape. Sakura called Kazuo and they steadied Neji, who spent his remaining seconds awake clutching Sakura's arm and scowling at her, as though asking her why.

She backed away from him to let the men carry Neji into the hospital.

I broke through the crowd of shinobis and onlookers, their opposing forces reminding me of the pond water that hindered me from saving Sakura from the rebirth ceremony. I blinked and I thought I saw her with black hair, but the next I laid my eyes on her I had no doubt those strands were pink. I grabbed Sakura by the elbow to make her turn towards me. "What did you do?" I asked.

"We're in danger but nobody will listen to me," she hissed, careful not to look too panicked for the sake of the people watching. "I feel the enemy. Now I need you to come with me if you don't want any more people getting hurt because of us. Neji knows the plan."