A/N: I know it has been a while since I have updated this story and I promise you I had not forgotten about it or Jumping To Conclusions but I had the next few chapters of Revelations running through my head and I had to get them out. I must say everytime I post a chapter I am amazed. What started out as a one shot is now up to 44 Chapters, 573 reviews, 59 favorites, 120 follows, and 79,383 views. I want to thank you guys so much for making that happen.


Did you want a boy or a girl?" Olivia asked as she placed her empty Chinese carton on the coffee table.

"I wanted a little girl the first pregnancy, but after I lost the second one I just wanted a healthy baby. What about you?" Alex answered as she turned to face Olivia.

"Honestly, I was so shocked that you wanted to have a child with me, I would have been happy with anything."

"I couldn't think of anyone better to parent with than you," Alex said as she took Olivia's hands in hers, "There was and, still is, no doubt in my mind that you would have been an excellent parent, even with your hectic work schedule."

"You may think twice after what I have to tell you," Olivia sighed

"Olivia, I will never doubt what type of parent you would have been."

"But believe me you will doubt what type of wife and partner I am."

"I know what type of partner and wife you are," Alex said, smiling, "One that is wonderful and deserves the world handed to her."

"Tell me if you think that after I tell you what I have to tell you, okay?"

Alex nodded in agreement, even though she knew without a doubt she would never question Olivia what type of wife and partner she was or ever would be.

"Do you remember that case we had where I ended up staying at the station for over a week?" Olivia asked, taking a deep breath

"The one you had about a month after I lost the baby?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, that one."

"Yeah, I know the one; I was so mad because you were there and not home, but I knew and understood why."

"Prepare to get pissed then," Olivia said, hanging her head, "There was no case. I was leaving you."

"What?"Alex said, shocked at what she heard. She had never once thought Olivia would try to leave her.

"I was to blame for you losing our child; I thought I was to blame, so I thought that it would be best if I left. I knew from the get go that you deserved someone so much better than me, and you losing our child cemented that fact. The best thing I could do would be to walk away and give you the chance to find someone who deserved you."

"You didn't, what stopped you?"

"Elliot."

"The same man that ripped me a new one sent you back home to me?"

"He did,"Olivia said, exhaling finally lifting her head to look into Alex's eyes, "He shared a little story with me. Not long after Kathy was pregnant with the twins, he was sent overseas for a tour. The stress was almost too much for Kathy and she almost lost the twins. She was put on bed rest about four months into the pregnancy and Elliot felt like an ass, much like me. He blamed himself and told her that he didn't blame her for finding someone else whose job wasn't as stressful on her as his. She kindly reminded him that they were Catholic and didn't believe in divorce and that she was pregnant with twins, which was risky within itself. His job and the stress she was under about him being overseas had nothing to do with her almost miscarriage, sometimes things like that happen for no reason."

"Much like our miscarriage."

"Yeah, he told me that it could have happened even if I wasn't injured. There was no way to prove otherwise and I needed to take, as he put it, my stubborn ass home to my wife who needed me more than some made up case for me to stay at the precinct."

"Then you came home."

"Yeah, but I still didn't feel as if I deserved to share a bed with you much less anything else."

"Which is why you wouldn't touch me for the longest time?"

Olivia nodded unable to find her voice.

"I guess our stubbornness cost us a lot of years," Alex said, smiling as she reached for Olivia, "I left you because I wanted you to have the family you deserved and you tried to leave me because you felt as if I deserved better."

"You still deserve better, Alex," Olivia said, standing and walking to look out the window again, "You deserve someone who can carry a child for you, like Christine, who can give you the world on a silver platter and doesn't come with such a tainted background as mine."

"I deserve someone who loves me for me and not my check book. I deserve someone who will support me, no matter what. I deserve someone who loves me unconditionally," Alex answered as she walked over to Olivia and wrapped her arms around her, "That someone that I deserve is you."

"But I can't give you what you want, Alex," Olivia said as she stared straight ahead,"You want children with me and I won't carry a child. I will not pass these genes on to another person, especially a child."

"I knew that when we talked about children the first time," Alex said, turning Olivia around to face her, "I'm not going to lie, I would love to have a child that looks just like you. I would love for them to have that Benson smile or that Benson stubbornness, but I know you don't want to pass your genes on and I would never ask that of you. Honey, you need to realize if we never have a child, I am fine with that. What I'm not fine with, is you not by my side."

"But…"

"There is no 'but' here, Olivia. I only want you. I love you," Alex whispered as she gently kissed Olivia on the lips.

"I love you, too," Olivia said once they broke the kiss and laid her forehead on hers,"I'm so sorry about everything, honey. I never realized in my attempt to protect you I was only hurting you more."

"I can say the same thing about myself," Alex whispered, "But that is the past and the only thing we need to focus on is the future, okay?"

Olivia smiled as she stared into those crystal blue eyes that had stolen her heart all those years ago. How she had ever survived so long without the woman was beyond her, but one thing was certain she wasn't about to spend another minute without her.