Lieutenant General Ciruolo strode through the Maliwan base, angrily munching on a cigar. He had been pissed off ever since Josef Müller had station him onto this artsy-fartsy piece of crap base. They played freaking poetry on the loudspeakers. It was like they wanted to make him angry.
"Call me prejudice, but I hate these people" he muttered. "Art and beauty don't mean shit in this world. They're just distractions from what really matters. They try to personify their instincts and desires into something that they can visualize, but it doesn't matter. They exist even if you ignore them, so I see no reason to make them obvious. If you can't tell what your dreams are without seeing them, then you don't deserve to know your dreams."
He rubbed the stock of his shotgun, desperately wanting to kill something. He didn't understand why that bitch Jacqueline couldn't just send one of her worthless generals here. He was a valuable resource, not some kind of idiot who they needed to shut up.
"Perhaps it's because I couldn't capture Jessup without assistance" he murmured to himself. "Or even more since he got away eventually. Technically, I failed."
He growled. "If they think I'm just going to rot away and die in this sand trap, they got another thing coming."
He sighed. "Maybe I'm just being paranoid. I don't even know anymore."
He gritted his teeth and tightened the grip on his shotgun. "But if I have to listen to one more second of Hamlet, so help me God, I am going to FUCKING MURDER EVERYONE HERE!"
The various Maliwan personal stared at him, suddenly terrified of him. He was well aware that they admired him because he was strong, and they probably thought that he was the strongest in the base. He liked that idea. It made it easier to yell and boss them around.
A technician came up to him. "I get the strangest idea that you are displeased with our music selection."
"That's a fancy way of saying that your music pisses me off" he snarled walking forward. "Play some goddamn Rolling Stones or something."
"Rolling Stones?" repeated the technician. It was like he had begun speaking Chinese to him or something.
"You know something classical but still good. Guns and Roses, Rolling Stones, Elton John. I'd even take Jimi Hendrix or Metallica at this rate. But for the love of God, please stop playing that sissy poetry shit."
"I am unaware of the subject medium of which you speak" stated the technician calmly.
"Of course you are."
Ciruolo sighed. "Whatever. I'm going outside."
He stepped out into the main courtyard of the building, tossing his cigar butt into a nearby trash receptacle. He mentally smacked himself. It was a trash can for God's sake. He was using their language. That was not a good sign.
He paused when he saw something approaching the door to the courtyard. It looked like a collection of four people. They were wearing standard desert attire on their bodies and carrying various guns.
One of the guards called them out, demanding to know why they were here and who they were.
"We're Vault Hunters of the Crimson Raiders!" replied the lead man. "And we've come to challenge you."
"We're Vault Hunters of the Crimson Raiders!" exclaimed Baldemar. "And we've come to challenge you."
"This is a horrible idea" muttered Dion.
"We're going to die" agreed Saprus.
"Please. The arrogant hunter never refuses a challenge" said Taika. "This is Maliwan we're talking about here."
"Besides, they got us hooked up to the respawn system" reminded the inventor.
"Yeah, but dying hurts. I'd know" stated the infected. "I've died at least ten times."
"Twenty" added the Titan.
The gate opened up in front of them, interrupting the conversation. A single man stepped out, one wearing a long overcoat and holding a huge shotgun. He looked rather livid, even though he was dressed stylishly.
"Why in the name of God should I accept your offer?" inquired the man. "I can shoot you right now and take you all down."
"Is that really the kind of attitude you people have? That you won't accept a challenge?" taunted Baldemar. "I thought Maliwan was better than this."
"I ain't from Maliwan" spat the man. "I'm Lieutenant General Ciruolo from Bellum. These pussies couldn't even put up a fight against guys like you."
He grinned. "But you're right. I ain't the kind of man who backs away from a challenge."
He whirled around and began walking back into the courtyard. "So come on in. I wouldn't mind having a good fight. But they are sure as hell not playing goddamn poetry when I fight."
"You think they're doing okay?" inquired Mel.
"They'll be fine. We're the most important part of this current operation" stated Del sliding further along the pipe.
The twins were deep in the sewer systems of the base, having wedged themselves into a pipe barely two feet wide. Thankfully they were incredibly skinny and could do so with relative ease. It was taking a while, but they would get their eventually.
"What if Maliwan just shoots them?" asked the older brother.
"Then we continue with our current plan and try to demoralize them later."
Mel sighed. "I guess you got a point."
They crawled in silence for a few moments, Del having taken the league.
"You think the Titan is gonna take Tina from me?" questioned Mel.
"Jesus, I knew you were going to ask that" muttered the younger brother.
"I'm just saying. I mean, he's not that attractive, right?"
"In a woman's mind, attractiveness is secondary to long-term personality" explained Del. "If he can't support her emotionally or financially, she's not interested in a real relationship. Physical attraction only leads to sex and not much else with that."
"So I shouldn't worry?"
"Oh no. You're screwed."
Mel swore. "Come on. I'm not that bad am I?"
"I never really approved of your relationship to begin with" stated Del. "It was half lust, half hormones. Even now it's not that different."
The older brother snarled. "Like you know how I feel about her. I love her you know."
"If that's the case, than why does she hate you?"
"I don't freaking know! What am I supposed to do?! I've tried all my ideas and not a single damn one works!"
"Has it occurred to you that perhaps the key to affection is to give her some space?" inquired Del glancing back at him.
"Huh? How would that help?"
"Women don't like to be rushed in general. Love isn't something you can force a person to be into. Besides, there are other fish in the sea."
Mel scoffed. "This is Pandora we're talking about here. There aren't exactly a lot of people visiting."
"You never know. The Raiders are trying to make some cities. Cities mean people. People mean bitches."
The older brother laughed. "True that."
He sighed. "But…I really do like Tina. I mean that."
Del paused. He had always assumed his older brother had just fallen head over heels over some bitch because of raging hormones.
"If that's the case, I'll put in a good word for you" he promised sliding forward.
"You mean it?" inquired Mel.
"Yeah. She likes me for whatever reason. Not the way you're thinking though."
The older brother grinned. "Thanks man."
They kept sliding along the tunnel, trying to not think about the horrific smell surrounding them.
"So like on a scale of 1 to 10, how attractive is that Titan guy?"
"I'd strangle you, but there's no room for me to turn around" threatened Del.
Yet again, conflict over Tina. Question: Is she really worth it? I know, stupid question. It's Pandora. It's either cold turkey or whatever warm body you can find out there. Of course she's worth it.
