I was freaking out.
You'd think since I knew it was coming, I wouldn't be freaking out as much, but I was. I was a wreck.
This letter, as all the others, was full of mystery, and surely, hidden clues.
'On this round, clues will not generally be granted to you ahead of time concerning the details, although we should point out that if you do know the rightful reasoning behind the final challenge and what it is you must prove, it will indisputably make the undertaking that much easier.' How was I supposed to know? What could possibly be the answer?
I read over the letter a few times, desperately trying to find any clues whatsoever. Anything, right now, would help ease me even the tiniest bit.
My eyes followed the elegant calligraphy letters carefully, taking in their meaning. There was definitely something written between the lines. Their words came as a warning to me, of the dangers ahead, but a second look allowed me to see something else, the sadness behind their foreboding.
Friendship seemed to be the theme behind this letter. Everything pointed towards it. Everything from the actual words to the feelings they implied and right down to the clues themselves.
For a hopeful second, I let myself believe that maybe it was the answer and it would make my'undertaking that much easier' but I knew that it wasn't. It couldn't be. If it were, they wouldn't have made it as clear as they had.
Also there were capitalized letters … but it didn't make any sense. At my desk I took out a note pad and wrote down the randomly capitalized words, excluding any that were rightfully done so:
Friends
Else
Translation
And
Statement
Laudable
Details
It
It
I rearranged the words a few times, seeing if I could form a sentence that would make any sense, and when that didn't work I did the same to the first letters of each word.
F-E-T-A-S-L-D-I-I
That seemed to be the more appropriate solution, except what the hell were they supposed to spell? Failed sit? Salted ifi? … No, that can't be it. Feista lid? What the heck is a fiesta lid?
It makes no sense.
After a few more minutes I gave up on that and worked on the rest of the letter. At least it was clear that they thought of me as a 'true friend' and the thought, for now, eased my nerves.
'As you are set to begin the final stages of your journey with us we must ask you to think about what true friendship consists of. The answers are certain to help you along your way.'
True friendship … What does it consist of? Love, comradery? Sharing shoes?
I sighed loudly and went to analyze the letter further, but I heard Alice's voice outside the door and hastily stuffed the letter and my notepad into my desk drawer.
"Hey, Bella!" She said cheerily as she came in, closing the lid of her cell phone as she entered.
I went over to my bed and sat down, "Hey, Alice. How was your evening?" She was dressed elegantly in a satin silver dress.
"Hazy."
I looked at her confusedly, "Huh?"
She shook her head, and I noticed that her cheerfulness was dwindling, "Never mind. How was your night?"
I smirked at the memory of my time with Rosalie, "Enjoyable." I went to change into my pajamas, mostly to avoid her gaze, not wanting to broadcast the fact that I "outed" another League member.
As Alice and I both changed out of our current outfits and into pajamas, I couldn't help but think back over the letter, and what it would mean if I didn't pass this last test. Would we still be friends? Would she treat me differently? Would all of them treat me differently?
Shouldn't that be what true friendship is about? Sticking with someone even when things don't go as planned …
They'd said they were my 'true friends', but could I trust them enough to believe in that?
--
By the next week, my nerves still hadn't calmed. I had gone over each and every letter they had every given me, including the ones from my grandmother and I was certain they were all pointing towards something but what that was, I couldn't figure out.
Every one of them had mentioned a journey of some kind, so maybe I was going to go on a hike of some kind? Or a treasure hunt? The idea of having to navigate my way through the wilderness and make it back in one piece made my stomach churn. I was turning into a walking billboard for Pepto-bismol.
And this last letter was the epitome of obscurity. What was it they wanted? What did I have to prove? And what was I going to have to do? I worked desperately on the hidden anagram but nothing worked. The best I'd come up with was FIDELAITS, which wasn't even English.
FIADELITS? SAIL TIDE?
Sail tide?
Oh lord God in heaven would I be sailing? That's just perfect. My mind started racing out of control. What if I had to sail a boat to a far away destination, having only my compass to lead me? I'd be sure to end up on some freaking deserted island, with no food. Then I'd be forced to eat bugs out of desperation because I saw on TV somewhere they are a good source of protein and I could catch rain water in the cups of my bra so I would have freshwater to drink. Then I'd go crazy from the solitude and all the bugs crawling around in my stomach, and then end up talking to my own hand or something. This is so not how I pictured dying…
But sailing didn't make sense; there were no oceans or great lakes around here. Thank God…just woods and a small town.
One thing was certain; I was bringing my Bear-be-gone spray … there's no way I'm going to risk going into the woods or something without it. Of course, with my luck, bears will somehow end up being attracted to it. Watch, not only will I fail the mission, not get into the Twilight League, be alienated by my dearest friends and let down my grandmother, but the icing on the cake will be some lonely bear will smell this stuff from where ever he is, drag me back to his cave and claim me as his mate.
Oh God. I was going to live in a cave.
I folded my hands in front of me. Please don't let this mission have anything to do with woods. I prayed for the millionth time. I had been praying so much lately, I was pretty sure God was screening my calls by now.Please don't let it involve bears… and while we're at it, if you could rule out sailboats, that'd be good too.
I shifted in Edward's bed, where I was currently trying to get some sleep but failing miserably. Lately the only thing that could get me to sleep was Edward's comforting embrace. I nestled into his chest once more and closed my eyes, breathing in his heavenly scent. In minutes I was calm again.
But not for long.
When the thoughts of bears, boats and bugs bubbled up for what seemed like the millionth time that night, I groaned silently and got up.
"Bella?" Edward asked sleepily, lifting his head from his pillow and looking at me as I failed to work my way out of his arms without waking him.
"Hey, I'm going to the gym. I can't sleep."
He reached a groggy arm to his bedside table and grabbed his cell phone, checking the time on the screen. "It's 5:30 … what are you doing up? Did you get any sleep at all?"
I hated how worried he sounded. He'd asked me countless times if something was wrong this week but all I'd been able to reply was some crap about finals, even though they were still weeks away. I hated lying to him. "I slept for a few hours, but I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep." I answered truthfully but his brow furrowed in concern anyway. "I'm fine, I promise. But I feel really tense, so I'm just going to get a workout in."
"The gym doesn't open until 6."
I nodded, "I know, but by the time I change and get over there, it will be."
He sighed and nodded, "Fine. I'll meet you at your room in half an hour."
"Edward," My head cocked to the side as I tried to reason with him, "You should sleep. I'm sorry I keep waking you up—,"
He interrupted me, "Bella, there's no where I'd rather be than with you. I'm not about to leave you when you're clearly not fine. Whatever you need to do to get through whatever you won't tell me about, I'm doing it with you. No buts." He ordered. "Now go get changed. I'll meet you there."
My eyes lingered on his, and I couldn't contain a pleased smile. I leaned in suddenly and kissed him. Our lips worked together for a long time, neither of us wanting it to end. "I love you," I mumbled in between breaths.
"I love you too, Bella," His silky voice whispered back as he smiled. He reached one hand up and tucked a loose strand of hair back behind my ear, after we'd pulled apart, and rested his forehead on mine, "So are you going to tell me what you're worried about, finally?"
"Finals, I already told you."
He chuckled silently, rolling his eyes, "Sure. Because you always go insane over exams when they're weeks away." I opened my mouth to protest but he stopped me, "Don't worry, I'm not going to pry. Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll open up about it eventually," He kissed me cheek, "You always do."
I smiled and kissed him again, "How did I get so lucky as to have you for a boyfriend?"
He shrugged, modestly, "Yea, I am a catch. Maybe you were Gandhi in a past life."
I laughed, quietly so as not to wake a sleeping Emmett in the next bed. "That must be it." We kissed one more time, "I'll meet you downstairs in half an hour."
He smiled. "Sounds good."
I made my way out of his dorm and down to mine, opening the door quietly, trying not to wake Alice but I soon saw that she wasn't there. I guess she'd spent the night at Jasper's again.
But what was there was another letter. There it was, sitting on my desk, as so many of the others had been.
My heart thudded loudly.
Normally, I get excited about letters, but I was dreading this one. I did not feel appropriately prepared for this final task.
I took a deep breath before walking over to the desk and pulling the parchment envelope open. There were two papers in there, attached to one another. I read the first one.
Dear Bella,
The hour is dawning on your final mission. We wish you well.
There is another parchment paper attached to this letter, containing driving directions to a specific site. On Saturday, the day subsequent to tomorrow, you must use those directions and go to that location. Inside there you will find further instruction.
This expedition may seem strange and clandestine to you, but fear not. We will not lead you astray. If you follow our instructions fully and carefully, you will arrive at your destination without trouble.
On this mission you must bring with you the findings of all your previous tasks; your key and the compass and pocket watch. Also, it will be of extreme help to you if you were to wear comfortable footwear and apparel. The weather outside is warm on these days of late, but a light jacket might also come in handy.
When the clock strikes 5 on Saturday eve, you must then be at the specified location, for it is then that your mission shall begin.
Good luck,
Ťwilight Łeague
--
Saturday. The day after tomorrow. I was out of time.
Oh God, I think I might throw up.
--
I looked in the mirror, the following day as I got out of the shower. It was almost dinner time and I was meeting my friends at the dining hall.
My face was pale, and I had small, bags under my eyes. Oh please, who was I kidding. I looked like a stinking raccoon. And, dear God no— is that a gray hair!
I pressed my face to the mirror and found the discolored strand, gripping it tightly between my fingers, ready to yank it from my head. Ouch! I analyzed it, realizing too late that it was just the light hitting it in a weird way. Great. Now I'm losing my mind and I have less hair. I'm a balding lunatic. I relaxed a bit however, it wouldn't surprise me if I found a few gray hairs on my head after the night and day I'd had. I couldn't concentrate on anything, I couldn't eat and even Edward's safe arms couldn't get me to sleep. My brain cells were deteriorating rapidly, why not my hair follicles?
There was no way around it; I was terrified.
I towel dried my hair and changed quickly, as Alice also got ready to go.
Was it me, or did Alice seem a lot less cheery than usual?
Of course it wasn't me. She'd been a lot quieter ever since last week, when she had "mysteriously disappeared" along with the other known League members, and I had a sickening feeling that I knew what it was, for I was feeling the same thing, only worse.
I couldn't work up the nerve to ask her (not that she'd answer me anyway) about whether or not things would change between us if I didn't get in. But the way she was acting lead me to believe that maybe they would … the thought only made me feel sicker.
Maybe it would've been better if I didn't know who was in it. Then maybe I wouldn't be so worried about losing all my friends.
Stupid freaking nosiness. You think I would've learned from a childhood filled withCurious George books, but no. And curiosity worked out so well for the cat too. My hard head apparently doesn't learn valuable life lessons.
"Ready to go?" Alice asked, plastering forced brightness onto her pixie-like face.
Even though I saw through it, I appreciated the effort and mimicked it, "Sure." I grabbed my wallet and headed out the door behind Alice. Together we made out way down to the dining hall in near silence, only speaking random small talk on the way down.
When we got there, I noticed that everyone was already there. And I mean everyone.
Edward, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper were seated at one long table that was adjoined to another at which Josh, Logan, Melanie, some of Edward and Emmett's friends from the football team and some other people I'd gotten to know throughout the year sat down, all talking quietly. After we got our trays full of food, we went to sit down with them.
"Hey!" Melanie said happily. "What's up?"
I greeted everyone with a forced smile as I took a seat next to Edward. "Not much." It was clear what was going on, some of the League members had shown up to show support. It was sweet and I was touched.
But I almost wished they hadn't. It just reminded me of what was at stake, what I could lose.
Suddenly I felt like a condemned woman on death row, getting her last meal. The thought made my stomach queasy and I pushed the food around on my plate, taking small bites throughout dinner time while everyone chatted with each other.
Was it me, or did some of the conversation seem forced, like they were trying to act normal? Every once in a while, I would catch someone looking at me, but they would look away too quickly for me to be sure. In the split seconds where pretenses were unguardedly let down, I saw the true despondent mood behind the facades. And it shook me.
Before too long, Tanya showed up with two other people and we made room for her. I greeted her happily. I was used to seeing her everyday for practices, but since the season was over, I barely saw her anymore. She gave me a hug and sat down next to me and across from Logan.
"I feel like a never see you anymore, Bella!" She whined jokingly.
I nodded, "I know. It sucks."
Logan smiled, "You're lucky Bella, I'm stuck seeing her all the time." He joked with her, earning him a thrown piece of carrot to the head by Tanya. "Just kidding, she's not that bad."
"Whatever," she rolled her eyes at him, but I saw a please smile lingering on her face. Alice, Rosalie and I exchanged knowing glances.
"So how are Captain duties?" I asked her.
She shrugged, "They haven't really started yet." She said in between bites of pasta. "Me and the other captains have to come back early in the fall though, some kind of training thing. I'm not looking forward to being on a virtually empty campus. It'll be eerie."
Emmett cut in, "You won't be. The football team always starts training a full month before school starts."
Jasper nodded in agreement, "Yea, we get our summers cut short, it kind of sucks if you think about it."
Joshua shook his head, "Yea, but all you had were training sessions. The damn summer programs here don't seem bad until you have to sit in on of the non-air conditioned sections in the library." He winced at the memory.
Alice looked up at him, "Ugh! I'm glad I'm not here during the summer."
Melanie nodded, "I didn't find the summer sessions too bad. It was fun wandering around the lawns when they're empty. The campus is so beautiful."
Edward shrugged next to me, "I agree with Mel, it wasn't so bad here last summer. But then again, I didn't have classes yet. And outdoor football training in the heat did have its drawbacks."
Emmett shook his head, "It wasn't so bad for you, little bro, because you were fresh out of high school last summer. You had a longer vacation period than I did, I think."
Alice laughed, "As I recall, you were more excited to leave and get away from one of your ex-girlfriends back home a month earlier than you could've hoped. Lucky for you Meyer's football training started in the summer." Everyone laughed as Edward scowled.
"OK, fine, I did want to get away, but the girl hid in my closet in a whipped cream bikini!" Edward defended himself.
I shook my head laughing, "Poor popular Edward," I joked. The thought of the player-Edward I knew when I'd first arrived at school was hilarious, especially when he was so desperate to get away from one of his many fans that he would be happy about starting school a month early—
Oh my Gosh!
My eyes widened and I dropped my fork as a sudden realization dawned on me.
Edward and Alice didn't start school at the same time …
My heart pounded hard. But the sound of Emmett's booming laughter snapped my concentration back on the present conversation. "You should've seen my mom's face when Edward screamed and she ran into the room to find this girl with nothing but whipped cream and cherries covering her nipples!"
Everyone's laughter roared, even Edward joined in when he thought back on it. I chuckled appreciatively, still only half focused on the conversation. Edward's arm wrapped around me soon, and pulled me closer to him. "Don't worry, she's long gone by now." He said in my ear with a chuckle.
I giggled, "Oh, I'm not worried. But you've got another thing coming if you think you'll be getting that kind of special treatment from me."
He laughed his signature musical laugh, "That's OK, I'm not that into whipped cream anyway. Chocolate syrup will be just fine with me." Everyone at the table laughed, including me.
The conversation continued in its light form, and for that I was grateful. My friends had successfully calmed me down, at least for the time being. And my new discovery was floating around in my head, and the more I thought about it, the giddier I got. Edward was here a month before Alice was, I thought to myself. He didn't pledge the same time Alice had, he had pledged a month before. It fit. It all fit! All the right people had been around.
Edward could definitely be in the League!
I felt like dancing!
… Until …
Another thought struck me like a lightning bolt: If he was in and I failed, what were the chances I wouldn't lose Edward?
--
Later that night, after I'd changed into my pajamas, I wrapped a shawl around myself and put my shoes back on.
"Where are you going?" Alice asked me from her bed as I opened the door in out dorm.
"Just out for a walk."
Alice sat up in her bed and looked at me curiously, "Are you alright?" I couldn't form a solid answer so I just nodded. "Do you want me to come with you? Its late, you shouldn't be out by yourself."
I shook my head, "I just need to clear my head a little. I'll be back in a little while, I promise."
She looked at me skeptically for a few seconds. "Bella, I know you're nervous… about your finals, I'm guessing," she added hastily, "but you should probably try to get some rest. It won't do you any good to worry about it now."
I forced a smile, "Really Alice, I'm OK. I'm really not tired though, maybe some fresh air will help."
She sighed, "OK. But call me if you need anything, I'll be here… always." She emphasized the last word, making sure to get the double meaning to her words across.
"Thanks Alice." I said gently before making my way out the door. I went outside, walking around distractedly as I tried to sort out my thoughts.
So far things weren't looking good. There was so much pressure … I could potentially lose all my friends, everyone I'd grown to care dearly for, if I didn't pass this last challenge.
The idea made me cringe.
And Edward. I thought with a heavy heart. Alright, I have to give Edward the benefit of a doubt, though. He loved me. I knew he loved me and he wouldn't leave me just because I didn't get into the Twilight League.
But what I knew about the League made me sure that it would inevitably drive a wedge between us if I wasn't to join. Being in the Twilight League becomes a part of your life, a part of who you are. It had been a part of my grandmother, so much that all she'd wished for was for her children to join too. It was even a huge part of Renee's life, although I don't know if she actually knew it.
And it was definitely a part of Edwards. So far, the only thing that suggested that Edward was not in the League had been the thought that he had started school at the same time Alice had and the League only inducted one person at a time. And Alice was in, meaning Edward couldn't be. Except now I knew that Edward had been here for one month during the summer, giving him plenty of time to have pledged and been inducted. It all made sense; his family was in it, he had all the right connections, he had all the right traits, he was never around when letters would come and always disappeared at the same times Alice did randomly… it all fit.
Edward was in the League.
And if I didn't get it, then it would be a major part of his life that I wouldn't get to share … that I would be excluded from.
I don't know where I was walking to, but somehow, I ended up at the Cathedral building. On this spring night, the air was cool and the sky was slightly cloudy. I looked up at the brilliant architecture of what had become one of my favorite places in the world, but even its loveliness failed to ease me tonight… now it just seemed overly large and intimidating, like the road that lay ahead of me. The gothic designs carved into the ancient stone of the building, usually so inspiring had a somber ambiance about it now.
I sat on one of the stone benches outside of the building, bending over with my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands. I had to calm down. I had to think rationally. It wasn't over yet. I could still pass … and even if I didn't, I had to give my friends more credit. Edward especially deserved more. Even if I couldn't be part of their world, they wouldn't cast me out of their lives.
Right?
--
Sorry for the wait, but you know how much of a perfectionist I am. First chapter of the last task will be put up tonight (And yes, the first chapter of it. I don't know how many more to it, I think all in all its at least 3 chapters long, probably not more than that.) And that'll pretty much be the end of this story, I think. Must give a big thanks to the one who helped make this chapter a lot cooler than it originally was, you know who you are.
And thanks to everyone for being so patient, it means so much to me that you actually like this story, its been so awesome writing it and the feedback really just fuels me to go on. Thank you a zillion and one times. You guys rock :)
