"You wish to pair with this human?!"
Tiffania's brother, who had a name Crosby couldn't pronounce let alone remember, had spoke up.
The almost disastrous first contact with the elves was averted by Tiffania explaining to her people that the humans like Crosby and Gordon were different than the mages who persecuted and exiled the elves. Afterwards Crosby tasked Saito to supervise resupplying their water and finding shelter for the night, and then followed Tiffania with the two officers back to her hut. In the midst of the discussion she had let it slip of her intentions with Lt. Gordon. The lieutenant seemed as shocked as her brother was.
"Wait, what?! Paring, as in like marriage or something?"
Tiffania nodded.
"It is a custom of my people that when one finds his or her true love, that she announces it to her eldest kin, so that he may bless the union."
She turned to Gordon, her blue eyes shimmering.
"You've been so kind and protective of me, I knew you must be the one."
Crosby sighed. All he wanted was to have shelter from the evening and possibly get directions on where this 'Steel Dragon' was, he wasn't expecting to have a front row seat to his erstwhile CO getting hitched, elf-style. His thoughts were interrupted by Gordon speaking up.
"Look, ah, Tiff, you're sweet and very nice, but very naïve. Are you sure you want to go through with this? I mean, how old are you?"
She lowered her head and blushed.
"I'll be 103 next spring, that is the ideal time any elf maiden would pair up with her beloved."
The lieutenant rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
"Yeah, but ah, isn't this kind of, well, you know, fast-tracking it?"
Her brother immediately wheeled on Gordon.
"You mean to tell me that you spent the night in her bed, and now you don't wish to go through with the pairing?"
That caught Crosby's attention.
"What?!"
"It's not like that."
He turned to Crosby.
"It's not like that, sergeant."
Lt. Bowles gave a sly smile.
"Hmm, no wonder you were jealous of her glomping the colonel. I would too."
Gordon shook his head and turned to Tiff's brother.
"Look, it's true we spent the night in her cottage, but I volunteered to sleep on the floor."
Her brother shook his head.
"Whether you slept in her bed or on the floor is immaterial. You both shared space under her roof, you agreed to the pairing."
Bowles leaned over to Crosby.
"Better not tell Princess Henrietta that one, otherwise the colonel will be in some deep shit."
Crosby nodded.
"Roger that."
He turned back to the discussion.
"Sir, it would appear you've been on the receiving end of a elven shotgun wedding."
He looked over to Tiffania's brother.
"With respect to the pairing, there is an upcoming war to which we unfortunately have a front row seat, you should postpone the wedding or whatever ceremony until afterwards."
Tiffania's eyes widened, and she looked over to Gordon, then back to her brother.
"If my beloved is going to war, then I must follow him!"
Her brother shook his head.
"The war is between humans, it is no concern of ours. Your place is here, with your people."
She shook her head vehemently.
"No, you're wrong. If the Reconquista prevails, they will attempt another Holy War with the elves, to conquer our lands."
She clasped her slender hand in Gordon's larger gloved hand, and looked up at him with shimmering eyes.
"And my place is with my beloved, wherever he goes."
Her brother was silent for a long while, then he turned to Gordon and spoke.
"Mr. Gordon, you seem honorable, for a human. You certainly lack the arrogance and conceit that the human mages I have encountered in the past. I cannot forbid my sister from leaving and traveling with you, but I ask you to look after her."
He then took both Tiffania's and Gordon's clasped hands and spoke a few words in his own tongue. When he finished he looked up.
"It is done. I bless this pairing, and may our goddess Sasha guide you."
Bowles grinned at his fellow officer.
"Well loot that was quick, I guess no bachelor party for you!"
The reality of the situation seemed to dawn on Gordon.
"Wait, you mean we're…"
Tiffania smiled and nodded.
"My brother has consented and blessed the pairing."
She then glomped the lieutenant, knocking him to the ground with her on top. Crosby stood up and motioned for Bowles to do the same.
"Sir, with respect, why don't we give Gordon and his new bride some privacy."
Bowles grinned again.
"Really, I would be glad to stay behind and give the lieutenant some pointers. Even record the blessed event, if he wants."
Gordon spoke through the cascade of golden hair.
"Sit on it and rotate, Bowles. Sergeant?"
Crosby nodded.
"Yes, sir?"
"You're in command whilst I'm...indisposed. Coordinate the resupplying effort, make sure we get everything we need."
Crosby saluted.
"Roger that, sir. Enjoy yourself."
(later that night)
Crosby was awakened by Lugo, he yawned and checked his watch. 0300.
"Anything to report, Lugo?"
The Delta sniper shook his head.
"Negative sarge, it's been a quiet watch."
He smirked.
"Although when I relieved the loot he swore that Gordon's new bride was a screamer. Said he could hear her all the way out here."
Crosby chuckled and shook his head. After meeting with Tiffania's brother, he coordinated with the others to help get supplies, the elves helped the human soldiers identify which of the oasis' flora and fauna were edible and which weren't. Afterwards the humans all converged on the improvised landing pad and slept in or by the `Birds. Bowles took the first two hour watch and Lugo relieved him. And now it was Crosby's turn to relieve Lugo.
"If it was me I'd throw the bullshit flag. There any coffee left?"
Lugo motioned over to the small campfire with a coffee pot suspended over it.
"Still about half a pot, and it's strong enough you don't have to pour it into your cup, it'll walk there on its own."
Crosby was still awake when the first rays of the sun appeared over the horizon, and the twin moons faded. He was surprised to see the blonde elf girl cooking something over the fire. He walked up to her and spoke.
"I figured you and Gordon would be sleeping in, what brings you up this early?"
She must not have heard him approach, as she let out a frightened 'meep' when he spoke, but recovered when she saw who it was.
"My beloved is still sleeping, so I thought I would help make breakfast."
Crosby looked over to the other soldiers still snoring.
"Need any help? If you cook too well then everyone will want some, and probably seconds, too."
She smiled at his quip and shook her head.
"Not to worry, I don't mind. My people have rounded up some extra food for you to take on your journey, after I clean up I will help with that."
Sure enough, when the tasty smells of breakfast wafted through the improvised campsite, people started to stir. True to the girl-elf's word, she fixed quite a spread for breakfast and soon everyone was eating with gusto, even the pinkette and the blonde knight. Louise looked up from her eating to see Tiffania staring at her.
"What's the matter?"
The blonde elf cocked her head to one side.
"I was just wondering, is it normal?"
Louise frowned.
"Is what normal?"
Tiffania looked down at her impressive bust and back to Louise. Crosby mentally facepalmed because he could see where this conversation was going. Tiffania cradled her breasts, and squeezed them.
"I mean, is it normal for human girls to be smaller than elf girls?"
Louise flushed bright pink, pinker than her hair, and then caught Saito staring. Truth be told, even Crosby had to force himself not to stare. He heard the pinkette hiss.
"Sssssaitooo, you filthy perverted dog!"
She pulled out her wand to punish her degenerate familiar. Then her wand was gone, and when she looked up she saw her tall bodyguard towering over her.
"Control your temper, my lady, or else."
He was holding her wand in one hand and brandished a dirty sock in the other. The pinkette's eyes widened, and she covered her mouth and sat back down. Satisfied, he turned back to the blonde elf girl, what was watching the scene unfold with a child's curiosity.
"I don't understand, Sir Crosby, was it something I said?"
It was almost noon before the group of travelers was ready to go, but now they had another full week's worth of supplies and water. A delegation of elves had arrived to see off the strange humans and their dragons, it was Tiffania's brother who stepped forward.
"What you seek is a day's journey in the direction that the sun sets."
He gestured to Tiffania.
"My sister can guide you it, but I must warn you, it is very dangerous. The men who tamed the Steel Dragon are long dead and neither man nor elf has succeeded in waking it from its eternal slumber."
He was interrupted by the whine of the `Bird's engines and the blades slowly rotating. Crosby spoke up.
"I understand, but if it's anything like our dragons, then I think we might be able to awaken it."
The warrior nodded.
"One final word of caution, my ancestors spoke of the time when the Dragon was unleashed, and no tale-weaver nor songsword could describe the destruction it wrought. They could only say that it caused much pain and suffering. Be careful of its power."
He put a hand on Gordon's shoulder, and on Tiffania's shoulder, and turned without another word.
Crosby turned to Gordon.
"Well, sorry to cut the honeymoon short, but we have a Steel Dragon to hunt, so let's move out."
(AN: I know I'm getting lazy doing more hand-waving and deviating from FOZ canon regarding the elves in Helkeginia, and making up some of their customs as I go along. But having elves be long-lived makes Tiffania Older Than She Looks, and allows her to be shipped with another member of the 33rd without our Heavy Trooper getting the dreaded pedobear label. Anyways, next chapter is the one you've all been waiting for, should have it up by early next week, maybe even the weekend.)
