I'll Know When I Get There
Summary:One phone call was all it took to rip Ryan Sloane's life apart and build up the idea in her head that things in Beacon Hills aren't quite right. When a certain deputy shows up in her small town and makes an impression on her, will she let him in or will she keep him just out of reach for fear that history will repeat itself. (Parrish/OFC)
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Teen Wolf, Ryan however is all mine.
Chapter 51:
Surprised, Jordan had been thoroughly surprised when he walked into the sheriff's station to find Lydia Martin sitting at his desk. She had a lighter in her hand, her thumb running back and forth over the side of it and Jordan hesitated, stopping in his tracks, to take a look around before deciding what his next move was going to be. The way he saw it, he had two options: go over to his desk and talk to her or ignore her altogether.
He was completely aware that Ryan wouldn't like the idea of him sitting down and talking to Lydia, especially when he was at work, but she was clearly here for a reason and he was curious as to what that reason could possibly be. It had to be important, didn't it, or else why would she have tracked him down at work, why would she have been sitting at his desk waiting for him? Maybe there was a supernatural crisis, maybe she needed his help, but then again, when he looked at her, she didn't look panicked, not even a little bit. She looked calm.
Right, so maybe she wasn't here to talk to him about some sort of crisis, but that didn't answer his question as to why she was sitting at his desk inside the sheriff's station. He felt a little uneasy but nonetheless, Jordan took a few steps forward, closed the distance between them and forced a smile at her while he sat down in his chair. She cocked her head to the side and gave him the same sultry smile that she so often gave him lately, and Jordan's blood ran cold.
Ryan might've had a point, her jealousy might be justified, there was no way that someone who was just a friend would ever look at him the way that Lydia did.
"Shouldn't you be at home?" Jordan questioned as he shifted slightly in the chair, getting a little more comfortable under her lingering gaze. "Maybe doing homework or something?"
"Already done." Lydia answered nonchalantly and flicked her thumb over the lighter, a flame erupting from the end as she held it between them, her fist resting on the desk as she did so. "There's something I want to try."
"Something like what?" Jordan countered and she let go of the lighter, the flame disappearing. She studied him for a few seconds and when Jordan found her eyes were staring directly into his, he looked away, glancing down at the floor in a pathetic attempt to keep his composure.
He had a girlfriend, he didn't need Lydia's attention, not when Ryan gave him all the attention he needed, yet somehow he couldn't just outright say that to Lydia. It was getting easier and easier to see that Lydia didn't just look at him like a friend, no, there was clearly some sort of attraction on her part, and Jordan felt slightly guilty for not shutting her down right away.
In his mind though, he needed her. He needed her help, he needed her knowledge and he wasn't going to give that up, not until he had answers or he could handle his supernatural side on his own.
"Involving fire." She purred and flipped the lighter once again, a second flame illuminating the space between them.
"You going to do a magic trick?" Jordan asked and her thumb immediately moved away, the flame going out instantly.
"No," she shot back, a serious tone to her voice, "but you are."
"I only know one trick and it's with a playing card." Jordan pointed out, setting his elbow on the desk in front of him and lifting his hand up. He held his fist in front of his chin and tried, with much difficulty, not to smile at Lydia, but it was hard, too hard. She wasn't like Ryan, not at all, but that didn't mean he liked her.
He had Ryan and the more he found himself almost enjoying the time he and Lydia shared, the more he had to remind himself that there was a woman waiting for him when he got home, and that wasn't even getting into the fact that Ryan had Kylie, yet another female who seemed to love him. So why, if he had all of that, if he had everything that he could've wanted, did he find himself so calm and relaxed around Lydia?
"Well, this one involves a lighter and your hand." Lydia shot back, fidgeting with the lighter, moving it between her fingers.
"This is sounding less like a magic trick and more like assault." Jordan remarked and leaned back in his seat, his fist still in front of his face. He clenched his fingers, dug his nails into his palm and hoped that it was enough to remind him that this was real, Lydia was sitting in front of him and he wasn't doing a damn thing to get rid of her.
Ryan wouldn't be too happy if she ever found out. But did she need to find out? Jordan looked at Lydia, really looked at her, and fought off the urge to shake his head. They needed each other, didn't they? It was a mutual dependency, right?
Lydia was helping him and he was helping her, that was all it was, all they were, yet part of Jordan knew he was lying to himself.
"It's a little dangerous, yes." She smirked at him and Jordan lowered his hand to the desk, his knuckles resting against the cool surface. "But it's not as bad as being lit on fire in a deputy sheriff's car, which by the way, you walked away from unscathed."
"Not entirely, I had to pay for the uniform." Jordan joked before he could even really think about what he was saying.
No, no he hadn't gotten out of the car unscathed, he had been terrified when Haigh had lit the car up, he had been terrified that he was going to die, that Ryan would lose him in such a horrific way, and while he hadn't been physically scarred, there were deeper wounds that still hadn't quite healed.
Lydia tilted her head to the side and looked him in the eye, "give me your hand."
Her command wasn't something he was just going to do because she asked, no, this wasn't normal, there was something not right about the whole situation that he wasn't entirely comfortable with and it had nothing to do with the lighter residing in her hand.
"I have a girlfriend." Jordan said firmly and held her gaze.
"Then I promise not to leave any marks." Lydia cooed and he sucked in a breath. "Now give me your hand."
Jordan debated arguing with her, he debated proclaiming that he was with Ryan, that he loved Ryan, but Lydia hadn't even flinched at his statement. Either she didn't care that he was taken or whatever she wanted to do with him had nothing to do with the lingering attraction that she had for him.
He blew out a breath and remained as calm as he could, holding out his hand as he responded, "I think I've seen something like this in a movie."
"Lawrence of Arabia." Lydia threw in quickly.
"Remind me what the trick was?" Jordan nearly groaned at the sight of her holding the lighter steady in her own hand while she lined up the top of it with his palm, which was facing down towards the desk.
"Not minding." Lydia offered up, her tone not veering away from calm at all.
She flicked her thumb against the lighter and the flame sparked to life, all the while Jordan felt his heart starting to beat that extra little bit faster. He wasn't sure he liked this situation, there were going to be flames directly under his hand and she was in control, but what was she trying to do? What was the point of the exercise?
Slowly and meticulously, she moved the flame closer and closer to him and when he could feel the heat against his skin, he tried not to feel it, to ignore the searing. He hoped that the pain wasn't real, but it was there, his hand throbbing from the contact of the fire.
"Ow," he ripped his hand back, shaking it in an attempt to get some of the pain to go away. "Son of a-"
She cut him off with a sarcastic laugh, shaking her head at him.
"You can last longer than that." Lydia was practically taunting him and he bit back the words that he wanted to say to her.
He wanted to bring up Ryan again, he wanted to make sure that Lydia knew he wasn't interested in her like that, but the look on her face told him that she wouldn't care anyways. In the short amount of time that he knew Lydia Martin, he had already realized that she was the type of girl who went after what she wanted, and if she wanted him, then saying he wasn't available wouldn't keep her away.
She leaned forward, rested her elbows on the edge of the desk and tucked the lighter into her hand further, the side of it resting against her palm instead of in the bends of her fingers.
"This time I want you to do something different." Her hands stretched out towards his and when her slender fingers slid around his larger ones, he held his breath, attempting to calm his thrumming heart. "Don't think about the flame, don't think about the heat, don't think about it hurting, don't even look at it."
"Okay." Jordan said, blowing out an anxious breath, her grip on his hands getting harder as she gently pulled his hand back out in between them. "Remember though, you promised not to leave any marks."
"I know, I wouldn't want your girlfriend to think I'm being too rough with you." Lydia smirked.
She held his gaze and didn't break eye contact as she lit the lighter up one more time, moving the flame closer and closer to his hand. He focused his energy on Ryan, trying to picture her in his head, her smile, her laugh, even Kylie's face appeared and he couldn't help but feel his heart slowing down, not quite back to its normal rhythm but certainly enough that his heart no longer felt like it was going to explode.
He knew that his eyes were locked on Lydia but he wasn't really looking at her, no, his mind was drifting, he was thinking about Ryan, about Kylie, and then he started thinking about the nightmare that he had been having lately.
Ryan had no idea that he was struggling with a terrifying dream, he hadn't told her because he hadn't wanted to worry her. She had enough to worry about without his repetitive nightmare, he didn't feel the need to load her up with his own anxieties, especially when it was just a dream.
Seconds passed and Jordan still didn't feel the heat on his hand, but it didn't matter, the images of the bodies, the giant tree stump where they were all littered, unmoving human carcasses, plagued his thoughts, distracting him so that he didn't feel the fire.
"Oh." Lydia's hand jerked back, the flame moving away from his hand before disappearing as she let go of the top of the lighter. He blinked, bringing his mind back to reality, back to the task at hand, and he looked at Lydia, but this time, he saw her.
"What? What happened?" He asked in a slight panic.
"Oh, it was too hot, my thumb was too close to the flame." Lydia answered and shut her eyes for a second, trying to pull herself back together from her momentary lapse.
"Are you okay?" Jordan pressed, not wanting her to have hurt herself.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She sighed and met his eyes before her gaze flickered to his hand. "What about you?"
He turned his hand over and looked at his palm, which had blackened from the heat. The ash on his hand was obvious but it didn't hurt, he didn't feel anything. Lifting his other hand up, he ran his thumb across the ash coloured layer of skin, peeling the soot away and leaving a clean, unblemished streak in its path.
She took in the sight of the ash on his hand and her eyes widened.
"Did it hurt?" She asked and Jordan shook his head no. "When you were looking at me-your eyes kind of drifted. What were you thinking about?"
Ryan. He had been thinking about Ryan, but that wasn't it, that wasn't the only thing he was thinking about. His nightmare, his terrifying dream had taken over his thoughts of Ryan and he knew that his nightmare was more than just a figment in his imagination.
"A dream." He answered in a soft tone.
"What dream?" Lydia pressed.
"I've had it here and there for about six months: I'm walking in the woods, carrying a body, but it's completely burned." He explained, hoping that he didn't sound crazy. "I can't see who it is, or who it was."
"Where are you taking it?"
"A clearing. There's a huge tree in the middle of it, you'd think it was a thousand years old but it's been cut down, it's just a stump." Jordan felt his heart picking back up in pace. He hadn't said anything about the dream out loud before and as he spoke the words, it felt more real than it had ever felt before.
"It's real, it's a real tree, in a real part of Beacon Hills. It used to be the center of a grove of trees called a Nemeton." Lydia stated matter-of-factly.
"What's a Nemeton?"
"A sacred meeting place for Celtic Druids. They were scientists and healers thousands of years ago." Lydia continued to answer his questions and Jordan found himself wondering what it all meant, if it meant anything at all.
Was his dream more than just a dream, was he putting Ryan and Kylie in danger by staying with them, by living with them and being with them? Should he have taken his nightmare more seriously before it had gotten to this point, especially now that Lydia was telling him that it wasn't just a place in his dreams but that it was a real place in Beacon Hills?
What did it all mean? Was he a danger to other people, was he a danger to himself?
"I've never seen this place." Jordan confessed, confusion evident in his tone. He had been in Beacon Hills for a while and the only place that he had seen the stump was the clearing in his dream, which had always happened while he was sleeping.
Had Ryan ever seen it? Did she happen to know where it was and if she did, did she know what it was? Did she know that it was called a Nemeton?
"But that's why you're here, it drew you here. That's what it does, it's a beacon for supernatural creatures, it might even make them more powerful." Lydia went on, continuing with her explanation. "What else happens?"
He pushed his chair back and made his way to his feet, taking a few steps away from her with his back in her direction. He took a second to consider the answer to her question and when he figured out what he wanted to tell her, Jordan turned to face her, but his eyes moved downwards, refusing to meet her stare.
"I put the body down, I- I lay it down on the rings of the trees and-" Jordan could picture the dream again, clear as day in his head. The bodies, hundreds of them, lay motionless against the tree stump, each and every one of them covered in ash, because of him, because of whatever he was.
"What?" Lydia stared at him encouraging him to keep talking. Jordan couldn't bear to say anything more to her out loud, no, his dream was too terrifying, too real, and saying the words made it more than just a dream.
"Nothing, that's it. That's the end of the dream." Jordan answered with a slight shake of his head. "It's just a dream."
"Have you told anyone else?" Lydia inquired and Jordan shook his head again. The idea of sharing something so awful, so grotesque, with Ryan hadn't crossed his mind.
He knew she had seen enough horrifying things in the past little while to last her a lifetime so what was the point of adding to her stress? With that in mind though, he couldn't help but wonder if maybe telling her would help them get back to the way they were, the way they used to be when they were happy, when they weren't arguing all the time over Lydia.
Ryan was the woman that he loved, the woman that he wanted to keep safe and to protect at all costs, but there was definitely tension between them. Could he talk to her about his nightmare? Could he talk to her about the supernatural?
"No, I haven't told anyone else." Jordan answered honestly and made a vow to try to talk to Ryan about the dream, or at the very least, the supernatural presence in Beacon Hills.
"Did you want to try it again?" Lydia waved the lighter in front of him and he glanced back to the clock hanging on the wall. The transport team would be meeting up in a little while and he wanted to be prepared, he wanted to be focused on the task of moving Donovan out of the holding cell and into the van without incident.
Did he want to try it again? Did he want to feel the heat against his palm? Maybe, but the more he thought about it, the more he wanted Ryan to be a part of it and not just Lydia. If he was going to start to distance himself from the teenaged girl in front of him, he was going to have to start opening up to Ryan and if that meant dragging her deeper into the world of the supernatural, then that's precisely what he was going to do.
"I think you should be getting home." Jordan instructed.
The look of disappointment on Lydia's face didn't fizz on him at all. For the first time in weeks, he knew what he had to do and that was open up to Ryan, the woman he loved.
XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX
By the time came for Jordan to do what he had come into work to do, he had managed to get the nightmare out of his head. He had decided that as soon as he had a few free minutes alone with Ryan, he'd explain everything to her, including his dream, what he and Lydia did when they were alone and his fears of the supernatural, more specifically his fear of hurting them because of what he was.
So when Deputy Clark stopped by his desk and motioned for him to join her, he was quick to leap to his feet and follow along behind her as she led him to the holding cells. The prisoner was sitting on the bench on the side of the cell and as soon as Clark put the key card in to unlock the door, Jordan readied his hand and set it on the handle of his gun, preparing himself to take control of the situation if it happened to turn south. The cell door shut behind Clark, leaving Jordan outside of the cell to keep watch.
Most of the deputies on guard that night were familiar with Donovan, his antics, his threats, and most importantly, the crimes that he committed which had landed him in the jail cell to start with. Nothing would surprise Jordan when it came to the young man in front of him, in fact, he was rather happy at the fact that the deputies at the station would no longer have to deal with Donovan at all.
Standing guard while Clark put hand cuffs on the kid, Jordan kept himself ready in case Donovan made a move. A few minutes of Clark cuffing and chaining the guy later and Jordan finally felt himself relaxing the slightest little bit, but not completely, after all, they were in Beacon Hills and no one knew who was really, completely human or not. Once Donovan and Clark were ready to move, Jordan ran the card through the electronic lock and let the door open up once again.
With Clark's hand around Donovan's bicep, Jordan took the lead and began walking out to the main part of the station, and ultimately towards the doors that would lead to the awaiting transport van.
Rounding the corner, Jordan laid his eyes on Donovan's waiting attorney, then he looked past him and caught sight of the sheriff inside his office with Stiles and Scott McCall. Whatever the man was doing wasn't any of Jordan's business but nonetheless, the man was still his boss and if he was going to say anything, Jordan was going to listen.
Jordan moved forward quicker than he had been and when he approached the door, he paused and turned back, listening to the attorney, Donovan and his fellow deputy exchanging heated words.
"I'll be blunt. It's not what I was hoping for, but the DA's offer is still pretty reasonable." Donovan's attorney had stated, his voice loud, firm and clear. Jordan shook his head and prayed that him and Deputy Clark could keep the situation under control, especially if Donovan decided to fly off the rail like he was known to do.
"What's reasonable?" Donovan shot back and it was obvious to anyone within hearing distance that the kid was getting angry.
"Talk in the van, guys. Let's go." Clark commanded, Jordan looked between the attorney and his fellow deputy before taking a step towards them, trying to alleviate the tension within the situation.
"No! Just tell me. What's reasonable?" Donovan was getting angrier by the second and Jordan knew that someone was going to have to do something to keep everyone inside the station safe.
"Mr. Stewart, are we going to have trouble with your client?" Jordan broke in, his voice even, calm and authoritative. This was what he was good at, this was his job and he knew how to handle criminals, even unruly ones.
"No, Deputy." Mr. Stewart, Donovan's attorney, replied, almost sounding exasperated. He looked over at Donovan, keeping his voice calm. "They want you for three to five, so why don't we get in the van and discuss a plea bargain that gets you out in two?"
The whole time the attorney was speaking, Donovan was looking everywhere but at the man who was simply trying to help him. When he finally let Mr. Stewart's words sink in, he jerked his head upright and immediately called out, his voice laced with unease and putting Jordan into protective mode.
"Stilinski! Stilinski!" Donovan continued to yell and it wasn't until the very sheriff himself finally walked out of his office that Donovan chose to use a different word. "I'm going to kill you."
Taking hold of Donovan's other side, letting Clark keep hold of the kid's right, he made sure that the prisoner was as secure as he could be, but other than that, he didn't move. Jordan remained silent next to him and looked at the sheriff, waiting for the man in charge to give him any sort of signal to do something. Until Jordan received that sort of signal though, he figured the sheriff could handle a delinquent kid on his own.
"Donovan, if you think that shocks me, remember it was well-documented in your Anger Expression Inventory." The sheriff replied calmly and looked right at Jordan. "Deputies, escort the prisoner out."
"I'm not angry like I'm going to throw a brick through your window. I'm angry, like I'm going to find you, I'm going to get a knife and I'm going to stab you with it until you're dead. And when you look at me and you ask me why, remember right now. Because this is why." Donovan's tone was calm, way too calm for Jordan's liking, so he gripped the boy's arm a little harder, reminding him that he was in cuffs and chains, he wasn't going to hurt anyone for the time being.
There was a part of Jordan that feared the boy, but not because of his threats, no, he was afraid of Donovan because anyone who could so easily threaten the sheriff in front of other people had issues. It was clear to everyone in the room that Donovan was unstable and Jordan couldn't help but wonder if the kid would actually go through with hurting anyone.
He didn't want to take any chances though and he wasn't going to make assumptions that Donovan wasn't really dangerous, not when there were people in Beacon Hills that counted on him to keep them safe, people like Ryan, Kylie, hell even Ken was banking on him. He wasn't going to underestimate a criminal like Donovan and let Ryan, Kylie or Ken end up in trouble because he hadn't just taken the threats seriously.
"Shut up." Jordan growled in such a low tone that he swore the only other person, aside from Donovan, who had heard him was Deputy Clark. Donovan made another lame attempt to jerk his arm free from Jordan's grasp but he easily just squeezed the kid's arm tighter.
Silence filled the station, except for the sounds of Donovan's chains, and no one made any attempt to move. Jordan's grip tightened even more, causing Donovan to flinch the slightest little bit, but not enough to warrant a pained protest.
"Wow, that was awesome." Stiles was the first one to break the silence and Jordan couldn't help but look at the sheriff's son. Here Jordan was, not daring to brush off Donovan's threat, and the son of the very man being questioned was treating the entire situation like a joke. Well that was definitely unexpected. "That was awesome. That was great. We do one more? Give us another one, maybe like Christopher Walken this time, you know."
The sheriff turned back to look at Stiles, apparently he also didn't believe that his son was being so nonchalant about the threat. Jordan loosened his grasp on Donovan's arm only so that he could get a better grip on him, this time he dug his fingers right in, watching carefully as Donovan leaned into his nasty hold, clearly affected by the pressure on his arm that Jordan was using.
Jordan couldn't exactly blame Stiles though, it wasn't like he had someone in his life quite like Ryan or Kylie, which meant that he didn't have to think of the bigger picture, the bigger consequences to his actions. Jordan didn't want to draw too much attention to himself in case Donovan decided to threaten him, or his family, the way he had just threatened the sheriff.
It wasn't hard in this day and age to get on the internet and connect people, plus Beacon Hills was a relatively small town. It wouldn't take too much for anyone to discover Jordan's connection to the Sloane family, and if he could do something as simple as keep his mouth shut to protect them, then that's exactly what he was going to do. Stiles, apparently, hadn't considered it that way.
"Okay, you know what? It's fine. You'll have plenty of time to work on it when you're in your tiny, little cell, you know, just stuck there, forever." Stiles pressed, continuing to taunt the boy in custody.
Donovan blew out a breath and tilted his head from side to side, locking his eyes on Stiles. Jordan and Clark made a move to pull him back and for the first few seconds, Donovan moved with them but at the last second, Donovan resisted and tried to throw himself towards Stiles.
Jordan gripped his arm so hard that he feared he might break the kid's skin, but it didn't matter in the long run, so long as he kept Donovan away from anyone. He struggled for a few seconds but regained the upper hand and gave Donovan a harsh shove back towards the door.
"Get him out of here!" The sheriff yelled out and Jordan immediately forced him through the doorway, the sheriff, Stiles and Scott disappearing from sight.
He continued to walk alongside Donovan, with Clark on the kid's other side, and once they were outside, they headed in the direction of the waiting van. He put his other hand around Donovan's arm and let Clark step forward to open the back door to the transport vehicle.
Once the doors were open and Donovan was inside, Jordan made sure he was secured and then proceeded to slam the back door shut, giving the vehicle an open palmed smack to signal to the driver that they were good to go. The van started moving and once it was at the road, he turned towards Clark, who was already looking up at him.
"That kid wanted to be a deputy." She said in a soft tone. "Can you imagine working with a guy like him?"
Jordan stifled a nervous chuckle and shook his head. He silently prayed that Donovan would make it to his destination without running into any obstacles. The safety of Beacon Hills was riding on it.
XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX
Well, are you guys a little proud that Jordan told Lydia that she should be getting home? Do you think he's starting to come to his senses regarding all the time he spends with Lydia?
DJDragon1: What a mess indeed! I'm sure things will work out for Jordan and Ryan, they're pretty strong as a pair.
anime7lover78861: Soon...ish. She WILL tell him though, not to fear.
poorxbrokexcollegexkid: I'm so glad, one of my biggest fears is that Kylie suddenly becomes unlikeable or just a second thought!
Guest: Maybe Jordan will start to see things more from Ryan's perspective and realize what a tool he's being...I hope he can redeem himself in your eyes :)
sarahmichellegellarfan1: I don't think he'd cheat on her either, but I guess anything could happen haha
