Dear everyone, there are no words to express how sorry I am for the delay. I've been writing on all of my stories – just not on the next updates. I'm jumping from idea to idea - there's too much going on in my head. Please forgive me and thanks for sticking with me. You know that I always love hearing from you guys. The reviews for my last chapter were so great, I don't deserve your kind words. Please kick my virtual butt anytime I go missing for too long.


Chapter 53 – Love Sick - Part II

They dropped off Rachel at NYADA and Chandler drove on to the Fashion Hero studio. "Can we stop by a pharmacy, please?" Kurt said. "There's some stuff Blaine needs. I talked to his dad and he gave me some instructions."

"Sure," Chandler said. "But why did you talk to his dad?"

"He's a doctor," Kurt explained. "He's very concerned about Blaine. Back in high school there was an incident and Blaine had to have eye surgery. He was stuck to bed for weeks after that and I went over to see him every day. His dad and I kind of grew close during that time. Dr. Anderson liked how dedicated I'd been to Blaine, with seeing him every day and bringing him little gifts and such. He's a sweet man."

"Why does everyone have great dads?" Genius asked dramatically. "I've never met so many gay guys who are in good graces with their dad. What has the world come to?"

"Well, Blaine and his dad had their issues at first. There was that story about his father wanting to build a car together to bond over," Kurt shrugged. "But not every parent who's uncomfortable with the idea of having a gay kid stays a homophobic jerk all their life."

"I've got so many brothers and sisters," Chandler said. "My mother said it was bound to happen that at least one of us turned out gay. My dad's cool with it, too."

Kurt leaned across the front seats. "I don't want you to be late for class, Chandler. You can just drop me off at the pharmacy and I'll take the next train back to bring Blaine his medicine."

"Oh, no, I can do it, it's not a problem," Chandler insisted. "I promised Blaine to pick up some stuff from his dorm anyway. Although I'm not sure about getting his textbooks. He should rest and not study. Whenever I try to do homework with a headache the funniest things come up. Anyway, I can go back right away. You've got to work on your assignment, Kurt. You need all the extra time you can get."

"I guess I do." Truth be told, Kurt was glad for the distraction Blaine's sickness provided. It felt better worrying about his friend than thinking about his own dilemma with Andrew and all the complications caused by his injured hand. Kurt didn't want anyone to pity him or fuss over him. He wanted to feel needed and right now Blaine needed his help to get better and be able to go on tour with Starchild.

"I have to talk to Starchild," he suddenly burst out. "He needs to promise that Blaine can go on tour with him, even if Blaine misses dance rehearsal this week."

"I'm not sure he'll make you any promises," Chandler said carefully. "I mean, he's very friendly with Blaine, but business is business and Blaine's dance trainer made it painfully clear that they couldn't miss one day of practice. I was there. It was crucial. He may give Blaine a rain check for missing rehearsal yesterday because of dramatic circumstances – that'd be you in a hospital – but today? And the whole week? I don't think Blaine's going to recover by the end of the week to be honest."

"I know that his trainer was very strict about rehearsal, that's why I have to talk to Starchild and make him an offer he can't refuse. He wants to use my design for the leather onesie? Fine, I'll agree on the condition that he's going to let Blaine go on tour with him."

"You want to blackmail him?" Genius asked incredulously and his mouth stretched into a wide grin. "Love it! But you know you haven't got much leverage. You benefit more from him using your design than he does. All the publicity he'll be causing by wearing your stuff would be great for you. He on the other hand could care less what he's wearing on stage."

"I don't care about publicity," Kurt replied. "All I want is for Blaine to get his chance."

"Oh, boy," Genius muttered, clearly not liking what he was hearing. "Stop thinking about other people's happiness so much. Think more about yourself! Gee, have I taught you nothing?"

"Maybe you should let Blaine ask him first," Chandler pointed out. "Elliott's really nice, you know?"

"I suppose you're right," Kurt sighed. Then he narrowed his eyes at Chandler. "Say, are you wearing Genius's clothes?"

Chandler instantly blushed and gripped the steering wheel harder. "Uhm, yeah—" he sputtered.

Genius laughed out loud. "Relax, Chan-chan. I already told Kurt all about our hot night together!"

"You did what?" Chandler looked at him mortified.

"Parking spot!" Kurt pointed out.

"Good thing we stop at a pharmacy," Genius said casually. "I'm out of condoms after last night."

This time Kurt laughed out loud and Chandler blushed deep crimson. "Not funny!" He turned to Kurt. "We didn't—you know—he's just being silly."

"Don't I know it," Kurt winked at him. "I just wanted to point out that his style looks good on you, too."

"It was a very spontaneous sleep-over thingy and I didn't bring clothes to change, obviously," Chandler felt like he had to explain himself. "But yeah, I'm loving these clothes."

Instead of his usual blue trench coat with a hoodie underneath, Chandler wore dark green trousers and a matching waistcoat with a golden button-down, high-collared, of course. Genius even borrowed him an old black gothic coat with embroidery. With his light-purple colored hair he looked quite the fancy intellectual out of a steampunk novel.

Genius was dressed all in different shades of blue today, except for his black boots and black waterfall scarf. His dark hair was growing out, he needed to re-do his platinum look soon. Kurt knew that Genius's outfits were all his own designs, sketched with mechanical precision and tailored by himself. He was a perfectionist about his looks.

They went to get Blaine's medicine and Genius actually did buy condoms which made Chandler flustered again. He quickly walked across the shop away from Genius as not to be associated with him. Kurt followed him and linked arms with Chandler, whispering, "Just so you know, I'm very happy for you and Emmett."

Chandler looked relieved. "You are? Thank God! It happened so fast—I mean, not that anything happened yet! You know, so far we were just kissing—not that it was just kissing, it was amazing, breath-taking, mind-numbing kissing, of course!"

"Of course," Kurt said with a smile.

"—but I'm overwhelmed and a little scared, but scared in a good way! Oh, Kurt, I really like him so much! And I feel guilty, because I already liked him when I was with Blaine, and I liked Blaine, too, but it never felt right with Blaine, and now there's Emmett and he's my online pal Cookie and he's Genius and he's so much more and he likes me back! It's so wonderful and he's so sweet to me and I feel comfortable with him and I really think at the end of the day everybody wants to be with someone who makes them feel comfortable, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Kurt gave a nod and a smile, but to his horror his eyes welled up, as Chandler was making him think of Blaine. "I know exactly what you mean."

As if reading his mind, Chandler squeezed Kurt's arm, giving him a sweet smile. "You know, one of the reasons why it never felt right with Blaine was that he never stopped being in love with you."

"Maybe," Kurt said, "but I still need to redeem myself. I've pushed him away so many times in the past few months—if I were him I'd never speak to me again."

He noticed the way Chandler peeked back at Genius, blushing when he saw the package of condoms.

"You know," Kurt said gently, "if you're not ready to buy condoms, you're not ready to use them."

Chandler let out a long sigh. "Sometimes I feel so silly. I want to do grown up things but I'm afraid of them, too. How was your first time?"

Kurt arched his brows. "Really? You want me to tell you in the aisle of a drug store?"

"Kurt, I'll turn twenty in a couple of months and I'm still a virgin," Chandler pouted.

"That doesn't mean you have to rush things," Kurt pointed out. "It just means you're horny as hell."

Chandler laughed at that, and then let out a sigh. "Oh, God, so true."

"Look, being with someone is about more than having sex with them," Kurt smiled understandingly. "My first time was with Blaine and we'd been together for months when we finally did it. Every couple has to find their own tempo of doing things. Just wait until you're comfortable. Don't do anything because you think you have to or it's expected of you. And you know that Emmett's just teasing you with buying the big box of condoms, right?"

"Right, right," Chandler murmured and looked as if he was making mental notes on everything Kurt said. "You know, physically, I'm totally ready. But mentally, I still need some time to prepare for it. It's all kind of embarrassing, you know? Like being naked in front of someone else. And-and what if I'm no good at it?"

All of a sudden, Kurt got emotional. "Gosh, I envy you so much," he said.

"What? Why?" Chandler was perplexed.

"Because you still got everything ahead of you. Whereas I have messed up big time. Everything with Blaine was perfect. Well, not perfect from day one, we had our share of misunderstandings and silly fights. But when we started dating and really fell in love with one another, it was so good. I guess I had always waited for it to crash, because how could something so true and good be happening to me? And then the first moment Blaine made a mistake, I snapped and cut him off."

"Well, he cheated on you," Chandler pointed out. "That's not a teeny tiny mistake."

"Even if we get back together, this gap will always be between us. A gap of one year, Chandler. One year of me not talking to him and ignoring every one of his attempts to make up. Instead of forgiving him, I date a guy who abuses me and I let him treat me like crap over and over again and—how can this not be between us? How can he not look at me and think about what a total screw-up I am?"

"Kurt, stop freaking out." Chandler grabbed both of his arms.

"How can he love me, Chandler?" Kurt asked with tears in his eyes. "How can he see me like this and still be in love with me?"

"He just is, okay? Love isn't reasonable and you're not screwed up or worth less because of what you went through."

"What is it?" Genius joined them in the aisle, steadying Kurt with his arm on his back. "Why are there tears?"

Kurt just shook his head and wiped angrily at his eyes. He knew it was silly to have a meltdown in the middle of the store.

"It's about Blaine," Chandler informed him in a whisper.

"Really?" Genius gave Kurt a little shake. "He's going to be alright, it's just a cold with a little bit of fever. You're worrying too much."

"I know I'm being ridiculous," Kurt said and took a deep breath to push the silly panic down.

"You're not being ridiculous!" Chandler exclaimed sympathetically.

"You're standing in the middle of a drug store, crying, because you think your sweetie's dying of a flu. You are being ridiculous," Genius stated.

"It's not about Blaine being sick," Chandler tried to explain, but Kurt stopped him.

"It doesn't matter now. You guys go on ahead. I'll take the next subway back to Bushwick to bring Blaine his medicine."

"Oh no, you'll do no such thing!" Genius said. "You need all the time you can get to work on the assignment. Chandler and I'll drive back after we've dropped you off at the workshop."

"What about yourself?" Kurt playfully slapped Genius' arm. "You need to get started on the assignment, too."

Genius gave a dismissive wave with his right hand. "Oh how I love it when people underestimate me. As if I couldn't whip up the very best cream in the very last minute."

"I have no doubt," Kurt bowed to him.

"Besides, I'll also take care of that other thing you need," Genius winked at him. It took a moment for Kurt to understand that he was talking about going to see Andrew.

"Don't do anything rash," Kurt pleaded. "And don't drag Chandler into it!"

"What's going on?" Chandler asked, looking from one to the other.

"Just a little spy job," Genius said. "I need you as a look-out."

"I can do that!" Chandler exclaimed eagerly.

"Guys—" Kurt started, shaking his head. He didn't like the idea that his friends wanted to pay Andrew a visit, but if anyone could get the recording from his ex it was Genius. "Just be careful, okay?"

Chandler and Genius dropped Kurt off in front of the building of the workshop and doubled back to Bushwick. Genius was positive that he could afford losing half a day at the workshop in favor of pursuing a fun career as private detective and Chandler didn't mind skipping class in favor of taking care of Blaine – obviously, there were guilty feelings involved. After all, Blaine wouldn't have gotten sick if he hadn't dashed home in the rain after Chandler had broken up with him.

Kurt figured he would worry about them no matter what, so he could just start working on the assignment and be productive while worrying. He made his way up to the entrance of the building when he saw the Fashion Hero fans waiting in front.

"Oh God, there's the crowd again. I almost forgot about them," Kurt murmured and prepared to be crowded. But instead of suffocating him, Kurt was surprised how nice and sweet their fans were. Everyone was inquiring about his well-being and his stay in the show. He gave left-handed autographs and received so much love and well-wishing that he couldn't believe it. After a lifetime of being bullied and being told that he was weird and too gay this level of attention was too good to be true.

"Kurt, hello." All of a sudden, Adam was at his side. Of course, the fans wanted to take pictures of them together and they obliged.

"Are you two together?" a brave girl asked them straightforward.

They both chuckled. "No, we're just friends," Kurt answered her, and she and the others seemed bummed.

"You know, I've always disliked the phrase just friends," Adam said, tilting his head. "It has such a dismissive ring to it when actually I'm very proud of my friends."

"You'd make a cute couple," the same girl said.

"We would, wouldn't we?" Adam asked, teasing, and to Kurt's amusement the girls squealed in delight. Eventually, Adam and Kurt made their excuses and entered the building.

"Sorry about the teasing, but it's just so easy with these teenage girls," Adam said when they waited for the elevator. "Anyway, it's good to see you, Kurt. I didn't expect you to show up today. How are you?"

"To tell the truth, I'm still quite shaken," Kurt said, managing a smile. "Thank you, Adam, for getting me to the hospital yesterday. I don't remember any of it, but I read some intriguing gossip online about how you brought me there, so thank you."

"Don't mention it," Adam said, grinning. "I'm just glad that you're okay. You gave everyone quite a fright."

The elevator arrived and Adam motioned for Kurt to enter first. "Are you sure you're up for another round of crazy?"

"I'll manage," Kurt said with a bit more confident smile. "I haven't come this far just to give up now."

"I take it you'll try to conquer the fashion world one-handedly?" Adam pointed at his injured hand.

"Call me Captain Bandaged-Hand, Pirate of the Manhattan Madness."

They smiled at each other, amused. But then Adam's expression changed into something more intimate. "You're really something, Kurt Hummel," Adam said warmly. "It's easy to see why you're so popular with the audience. You're very inspiring."

Kurt didn't know how to respond to so much flattery. "Thank you, Adam. So are you."

"Me? Oh, no," Adam laughed sweetly. "When I applied to the show I thought I had some great ideas to challenge the fashion world. Turns out I'm not even impressing my own grandma. She's rooting for you, by the way. And if by some bad luck you're not leaving Fashion Hero as a winner, I'm sure you'll still make it far and big in the fashion world."

"Stop it," Kurt had to look away. All this praise made him feel uncomfortable. "Look, I appreciate you trying to cheer me up—"

Adam laughed. "I'm not saying all this to cheer you up, it's the truth."

"Well, you could say the same thing about Genius."

"Nah," Adam shook his head. "His work is all right, but he tries too hard to provoke everyone. I don't get his attitude or why he's so heterophobic. It's like he hates all heteros on purpose."

"He hates everyone on purpose, not just hetero people," Kurt replied, smiling. "And he's gotten better lately. Like, he unsuccessfully tried to screw with my Dad's head and now he's impressed by how much crazy my father can take."

Adam squinted his eyes. "I admire how you've become friends with Genius when everyone else would make a wide berth around him."

"Would you stop with all the flattery?" Kurt laughed. "I'm not as good a person as you make me seem. I'm actually a very crappy person at times."

"I truly doubt that."

"Yeah, well, I haven't been very honest with you-," Kurt muttered.

"About your feelings for Blaine?" Adam took a guess. "That's okay. Your feelings for him were kind of obvious, actually, I just didn't want to see it."

"No, it's something else," Kurt murmured. He wanted to tell him about Andrew's attack. Adam had brought him to the hospital, after all, he deserved to know what had really happened.

"Yes?" Adam prompted.

"It's about how I got injured," Kurt started.

"You mean your misstep on the stairs?"

"No. I mean, yes. But actually, I didn't fall down the stairs. Look, I'm going to tell you what happened, I promise. I just can't do it right now, okay?"

"Okay," Adam said, looking puzzled but not inquiring further.

The elevator stopped and Kurt quickly got out. Stepping away from Adam, Kurt felt bad about lying to his friends and family, because he was ashamed and humiliated of what had happened to him. He just couldn't look Adam in the face and tell him about how Andrew had treated him. At the same time, he was unintentionally protecting his abuser. But lying about it wasn't only hurting him, it was hurting everyone around him. Realizing how genuinely worried the viewers of Fashion Hero were about his well-being, Kurt felt like a fraud sticking to his staircase story. It was bad enough lying to his family and friends, now he even felt like he owed the truth to total strangers. There were people out there who might go through something similar, ashamed to point at their abusers, because it wasn't okay to talk about being a victim. But he had a chance to change that. He could use the platform he was given and use it to talk. People would find out sooner or later anyway. Better to hear it from him first, right?

They arrived at the workshop and went to their respective workspaces.

Kurt was surprised to find a visitor waiting at his booth. "Isabelle! What are you doing here?"

His Vogue boss Isabelle Wright was flicking through a magazine at his work desk, but stood when she saw him. "I'm here to watch out for my protégé," she gave him a gentle hug. "The media is going wild about you and your visit to the hospital. How are you?"

"I'm still quite shaken to tell the truth. And I hate the attention. I don't want to be famous for this," Kurt held up his injured hand.

"I hope you haven't talked to anyone from the media about this yet." Isabelle steered him away to a quiet corner.

"No, I haven't," Kurt replied.

"Good, because at the moment you're one of the most popular contestants of the show which means that the producers will be very interested in your personal life. Because of you, everyone is talking about the show right now, therefore it's a success. They'll try to make money out of your story and leave you with nothing but the aftermath. Don't let them take advantage of you. I can help you talk to the producers. This is all business and I know how to negotiate."

Suddenly, Kurt felt very young and inexperienced. He hadn't thought about it this way.

"What do you mean? I don't want them to manipulate the show and let me win."

"Oh no, there's no need for that. You're gold, sweetheart, you're a winner because of your talent. People love you for your honesty and kindness and your fantastic ideas for outfits. They suffer with you, because they relate to you on a personal level. That's why it's important that you don't let the producers decide how to view your personal life and the drama involved."

"Who cares about my personal life?"

"Information is power. You may think that no one is interested in your little personal drama, but reporters will fight to get your word first. You don't have to talk about what happened, if you don't want to. But now that you're injured you need help. Make a deal with the producers of Fashion Hero. Although your contract says they have a say on everything that affects the show doesn't mean your personal life. Tell them, you'll speak exclusively with the Fashion Hero interviewers about how you got injured and in exchange you'll be allowed to get yourself some help with the outfits. Have a friend over who can work the sewing machine or something."

"That's actually a good idea," Kurt was impressed.

"Okay, then let's go in there to talk to the producers and then you'll give the best I'm so adorably clumsy and this is how I slipped on the stairs and broke my hand interview mankind has ever heard. And don't forget: it's your story. No one can tell you how to tell it. Got it?"

"Got it," Kurt replied.

And then they went to talk to the producers. Kurt was impressed by how professional and charming Isabelle was to argue his case. The producers were lapping up everything she said and they promised to help Kurt out with whatever he needed if he promised to do an interview with the Fashion Hero crew. After they shook hands, they inquired for him to get ready for the interview.

"Now?" Kurt was taken aback.

"Is there a problem?"

"No, it's just—," Kurt began, feeling overwhelmed. "Why does the interview have to be today when the show is broadcasted time-delayed?"

"But you're injured now," Isabelle took it upon her to explain. "They can't do the interview in a couple of weeks when your cast is off."

"Okay, makes sense. I can do it now, I think. But when is the interview going to air?" Kurt asked to be prepared for it.

"Oh, in tonight's show," one of the producers said.

Kurt blanched. "Tonight? But I thought the show was time-delayed?"

"Yes, but your dramatic run to the hospital is all over the gossip feeds right now, people want to know what happened to you now. In a few weeks, no one will care about your broken hand anymore."

"Oh, God," Kurt inhaled deeply. He was going to tell his family anyway, but now he had to make sure he did it before 7 pm.

"Right," Kurt nodded and licked his lips. "I'll do it. I just need to make a call first."

He had already made up his mind that he wouldn't keep up his staircase story. He just wasn't ready to talk about Andrew's attack so soon. But maybe it was best to get it over with.

He just needed one more consultation to calm his nerves. With his phone in hand, he went to look for a quiet corner to make a call.


Blaine's POV

Blaine loved staying in Kurt's bed. It was big and comfortable, close to both the kitchen and the bathroom and far enough from the windows to be out of reach of drafts. But above all, it smelled like Kurt. Plus, the boyfriend pillow helped entertaining the illusion that he was hugging Kurt. In his wake moments, he distracted himself with fantasies, so he wouldn't think about all the school stuff and dance practice that he was missing, not to mention his model duties on Fashion Hero.

It also helped that Oscar Oreo was lying on the pillow next to him and purring him to sleep, the cat proved to be a calm and comforting presence.

However, all the comfort in the world didn't help much when Blaine's head ache was still raging and he had already used up the second box of tissues, cursing his fever and the need to sneeze at least once every minute. He felt weak and dizzy and like he was going to die.

This was when his phone rang.

Blaine peeked at the display with one eye, he couldn't possibly be bothered to open both eyes.

Starchild's name was on and he knew he would have to answer that. When he did, a worried sounding Starchild was on.

"Hey Blaine, so I was just checking my newsfeed and I came across this news about the contestants of Fashion Hero and since you're modeling for one of them I thought it couldn't hurt to be informed and, woah, there, what happened to your buddy Kurt, man? Is he all right? Something about hurting his hand? That must suck big time. Can he still do the show?"

"Yes, he's got a bandage, but he thinks he can still do the workshop."

"Wow, he's got major ambition. I must say I'm impressed," Elliott said. "Did I tell you that I met Kurt yesterday? I can see why you're so infatuated with him. He was overly protective of you, by the way, and he's feisty. I like that in a guy. You know, ever since I got the album out, everybody treats me like I'm this extraterrestrial lifeform, you know? People get all starstruck in my presence. I don't know why because I don't feel like a celebrity and Kurt got that. He treated me like he would have treated anybody in a negotiation, he wouldn't give me a little finger, or even meet me halfway and I respect that. Although it's not very helpful in my current situation, because I have a time frame set up."

"I'll talk to him," Blaine promised.

"I'd appreciate that. Anyway, see you for dance class tonight? I told Marcus I'd drop by."

"I won't make it," Blaine said and it hurt to say it – physically and emotionally – his throat was sore from coughing. "I'm sick."

"That sucks. How bad is it?"

"Bad, I'm afraid," Blaine admitted with a sigh. "I missed yesterday's class, too. Marcus will cut me out."

"Oh man, really? I was looking forward to have you along. Your moves are awesome and you're great company."

"I think I need a few more days to recover. I'm sure I'll be up and running by the time you hit the road. So, maybe if you talked to Marcus—"

"Look, Marcus decides who goes on tour and I'm contract bound to his decision. If he thinks you're not fit to come there's not much I can say in the matter."

"Yeah, I figured," Blaine said miserably.

"Okay, gotta go. We'll keep in touch. Get better soon."

"Thanks. Bye."

Blaine whipped out a tissue to blow his nose. Oscar Oreo fled with an undignified look upon his face at being trumpeted at. Just sitting made Blaine dizzy and nauseated. "Why me? Why now?" he asked the cat. Joining the dance group had been so much fun. It had felt like finally something was working in his favor. Like finally, something good was happening to him. Meeting Starchild had been great, too. He would have loved to go on tour with the guy. It felt like a great life experience was slipping away from him. And all just because he had thrown himself a pity party and danced in the rain.

He just settled back into the pillows when his phone rang again. Checking the display, a warm feeling settled in the pit of his stomach when he saw that it was Kurt calling.

"Hey Kurt," he said gently. "Calling to check up on me?"

"Yeah, hi. I hope I didn't wake you up."

"Nope, I can't really sleep anyway."

"Did Chandler bring you the stuff from the pharmacy?"

"Yes, he did. Genius was with him again. What's going on with them? They were acting strange."

"You mean, stranger than usual?" Kurt said with a little laugh.

"I guess you're right," Blaine replied with a smile.

"So, are you comfortable? Do you need anything? Should I bring you something when I get home?"

"I can't think of anything right now, but thanks."

"Okay, yeah, I just wanted to check on you and hear, if you're all right. Resting, I mean. I know you're not all right. I hope you get good rest. Nothing's bothering you? Like the cat. Is Oscar Oreo bothering you?"

Blaine frowned. Kurt sounded weird. It was sweet that he asked for his well-being, but he sounded on edge, like he was about to hyperventilate.

"Kurt, are you okay? You sound like you're on speed or something. Are you freaking out?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm freaking out a bit," Kurt said with a strangled laugh. "Is that okay?"

"Of course, it is. Hit me. Let it all out. What happened to throw you off your game?"

Kurt laughed, but it was more of a defeated sound.

"You know, there was a moment this morning when I thought I shouldn't have left the house. Not just because I felt guilty for leaving you by yourself, but because I thought I couldn't deal with anyone. You know, like people asking about what happened to me. I don't want to have to defend myself or keep on telling lies or tell everyone that it's no one's business how I got injured—"

"Well, it isn't," Blaine agreed.

"But then everyone was so genuinely concerned about me, Blaine," Kurt said like he couldn't believe it. "And even Isabelle showed up to support me and help me with dealing with the attention. And I'm wondering how this has gotten to be my life."

"What do you mean?" Blaine hugged the boyfriend pillow closer to him, wishing he could hug Kurt now.

"I mean all my life so many people bullied me and told me how much I sucked. But I never cracked, I did my thing anyway and told myself that one day I'd be rich and famous and they all would work for me and I would have the loving boyfriend and I would have it all. And then one day, I did crack. All of my dreams tumbled down and I let them bury me, giving in to the self-doubt and self-loathing up to the point to allowing some dick to treat me like crap and thinking that I didn't deserve true love and I let it go on for way too long. And now it feels so weird to have all these people telling me how much they love my work, not just my closest friends, who are somewhat obligated to support me, but the show's producers, strangers on the street, even the boss editor of the Vogue goes out of her way to help me, a rock star asks for my designs and even my competitors are supporting me. All of the love I'm receiving feels too good to be true. Where's the catch? Is this real? I feel like I'm dreaming or that everyone's making a fool out of me and laughing behind my back. How is it possible that all of these people love what I do? I mean even Genius who started as my worst enemy, somehow turned into one of my best friends and confidents. I'm so scared that all of this is going to burst."

Listening to Kurt's little freak-out, Blaine suddenly felt hot and cold, and not because of his fever, but because Kurt was sharing all of his innermost fears and doubts with him.

"Kurt, please calm down. Believe me, you do deserve every good thing that's happening to you. Where is all of this coming from? What happened?"

"I realized that I owe them the truth."

"Whom?"

"Everyone. They deserve to know what happened between Andrew and me."

"No, they don't," Blaine disagreed. "You don't owe anyone anything."

"Yes, you're right. But, Blaine, I'm in this unique position where my life is spread out on TV and people are interested in my well-being. Isabelle told me that I should speak up first. I can't let anyone else speak for me. Of course, she and everyone else thinks my story is about a misstep on a staircase. But I don't want to hide anymore. Ever since things went awry with Andrew I felt like I had to lie to everyone in order to protect myself. Now I realized that by staying quiet it isn't me I'm protecting, but him. Telling everyone about it is going to feel humiliating, yes, but there are worse things than public shame and that's suffering in silence. And you guys have been so great to me, you, Emmett and Chandler. My dad. I have all the backup I need. I'm done covering up what I thought I couldn't let anyone see."

Blaine put an arm over his forehead and pressed the phone to his ear. Apparently, Kurt was dead serious about this and Blaine wanted to be able to give sound advice, but his head ache was killing him. "It's not going to be easy once it's out, you know that, right?" he pointed out.

"I know," Kurt said. "Blaine, you told me once that I can refuse to be the victim. But in this case, I have to stand up and admit to myself that I have been the victim. Andrew hurt me and I allowed him to take a step too far, I didn't show him the boundaries, but it was he who went too far. He took advantage of my weakness, my unwillingness to defend myself. Now I have a broken hand and I jump at every little noise and I'm freaking out just thinking about going to the police, but I have to."

"Yeah, you have to tell the police, but not the whole world," Blaine said.

"I won't say any names," Kurt said. "I won't spell out Andrew's name and address or anything. But this isn't just about me anymore."

"What do you mean? Of course, it's about you."

"No, because I'm not the only one dealing with abuse. There are so many people in abusive relationships and they all stay silent and quiet and don't speak up for themselves. They don't dare, because they don't want to be victim-shamed. I have the chance to speak up now. Even if it's harming my popularity and chances in the show or my career in general, if there's one person out there who gathers enough courage from me to speak up for themselves, then I have to do this."

Blaine didn't know what to say. He was scared for Kurt, of course, but at the same time he was incredibly proud of him, too.

"Am I doing the right thing? Or am I insane?" Kurt inquired when the silence stretched on.

"I think you're incredibly brave," Blaine said quietly. "But that's not surprising. Ever since the first time I met you, you were courageous and always intend to do the right thing. That's what I have always admired about you. Yes, sometimes you need a little encouragement, everyone does from time to time, but you know how to stand up for yourself and others. I have no doubt that you'll be okay, no matter how this turns out. I'm proud of you, but I'm also afraid for you."

"Thank you. It means a lot to me that you still believe in me so much."

"Of course, I do."

"So you don't think I'm making a mistake by telling everyone the truth?"

"I can't tell you how people will react, but I'm positive that you're telling it for the right reasons."

"Thank you for listening to me ranting. Talking to you always calms me down."

"Why? Because I'm so boring," Blaine joked.

"No, because you know me so well. You've seen the worst and the best of me, and, well, it makes me feel comfortable to vent a little. "

"Well, you're welcome to vent at me anytime."

"Thanks, Blaine. We'll talk more tonight, okay? I gotta hurry. Bye. Love you."

Blaine caught his breath, surprised at hearing Kurt saying he loved him so out of the blue. There was another silence and he could tell that Kurt was holding his breath, maybe mortified by what had just slipped out of his mouth. It had been such a familiar thing to say, but you shouldn't casually say love you to your ex-boyfriend. Even if Kurt didn't mean it and it had just slipped off his tongue out of habit, Blaine knew there was only one way to reply.

"Love you, too."


Thank you for reading! Next chapter will be all about Genius and Chandler :)