A Wise Empress Once Told Me

"Hmm I'll take choice number two."

"Wait! You can't! I forgot,you give it to her and she returns to normal. But there is a price for the antidote!"

"Lemme guess, I let you become empress?"

"Not even close! You let me become empress! Okay, you were close…"

"Well, I still pick choice number two. Sure I'll lose the kingdom, but this only happened because I'm superficial. Now maybe Malina will think I'm just...super!"

The Royal Record Keeper managed to run in at the last second. "Sire no! You must not give Yzma the kingdom! She would bring nothing but sorrow!"

"But then I have to go to the dance with freaky beak girl!" Kuzco whined. He looked at Yzma "So come on is it a deal? You gonna hand over the antidote or just stand there decomposing?"

"You got it!" Yzma laughed, handing the bottle to Kuzco.

Due to The Royal Record Keeper's interruption, Kronk had time to bash a bunch of bananas over Yzma's head. Yzma fell to the ground, unconscious. During this time The Royal Record Keeper had time to undo the straps on the table Kuzco was attached to.

"Sire, please reconsider. I-"

"Careful!" Kronk said. "That's not Yzma, that's me...I think...I saw me be heer earlier, so she's probably me now. I'm wily like that….Or she is. It's too confusing I couldn't let it go on...The bananas and monkeys." He grabbed the vial from Kuzco. "And that's probably not beak antidote. Better let me test it."

Kronk took a long sip from it. He blinked before turning into an octopus. "Yep, what I tell ya? She-me was gonna double cross ya. Wily." He looked up and saw Matta staring down at him.

"Oh joy, tomorrow's lunch special."

"Yikes!" Kronk yelled as he tried to squirm away.

"Come back! You cannot get away from me!"

"Ooookay…Hmm" Kuzco said awkwardly before turning to face the still unconscious Yzma. "Well as for you, no antidote, no kingdom. Deal's off!"

"Oh thank goodness sire!" The Royal Record Keeper breathed out in relief. "I'm glad you made the right choice!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Kuzco said trying to brush him off. He sighed. What am I gonna do now? I don't wanna go the dance with freaky beak girl! He idly reached into his pocket and realized he still had the beak elixir. I mean this was my fault…. He pulled out the bottle and looked at it. ….Should I? I mean it's my fault….And it seems like something Blue Jay would tell me to do….Blah blah blah, an eye for a spleen, blah blah blah, we are one...blah blah blah….

Yeah, sounds about right. We'll both be some weird freaky beak people so we'd be the same...That's probably what it means. Hey, Blue Jay had a good idea for once! I better thank her later.

He spritzed some of the elixir on his face, and a toucan beak grew. Perfect! Oh the dance is starting soon, I gotta hurry!

Malina stood outside the gym, pouting about her beak problem.

There she is! Kuzco went up behind her and let out a bird whistle. "Who's a pretty bird?" She better say me...It's me obviously.

"You're so not funny." Malina turned to face Kuzco. "What!? Oooh, don't tell me...Oud du elixir?"

"Yeah…" Kuzco laughed nervously. "Sorry I turned you into scary beak face girl."

"And this is your way of making it all better?" Malina asked. "Give yourself a beak too? It's both shallow….and touching."

"Thanks...I think…"

"So now we're both stuck like this?"

"Yeah for now." Kuzco said, shrugging it off.

"You realize a toucan beak is a flaw right? Unless you're a...toucan."

"Well, the way I see it, true perfection is impossible. So I get as close as I can. I guess what I'm trying to say is, even with the toucan beak, I think you're super."

Malina smiled. "Lets go in okay?..Together."

They entered and got a few stares from other students who chuckled on their breath. Kuzco and Malina managed to ignore them and danced.

Kuzco bumped into someone else. "Hey watch it!...Sansa?"

"Kuzco?"

"What are you doing here?" He sounded confused. "Shouldn't you be at the palace with Blue Jay?"

"She let me have the rest of the day off. My friend Tu invited me."

"I see…" Kuzco said.

They were silent for a moment.

"I'm...I'm glad your better." Sansa said.

"Huh? Oh right...I was sick...Yeah I'm good now." He replied awkwardly.

"Y-yeah.."

More silence.

"You didn't mention my beak."

"Why would I?"

"Because it's a flaw?" Kuzco replied, puzzled

Sansa shrugged. "I guess I just thought Yzma gave you a position? It doesn't bother me."

"R-really?"

Sansa nodded.

"Sansa!"

She turned around and saw Tu waving at her.

"Oh, uh I gotta go. We can talk later if we want..O-okay?"

"All right, sure."

Kuzco went back to Malina, although his mind was wandering elsewhere.