Minktales

Issue 44

"Annette's Tea Party"

"...So I told him if he really wanted us to be good friends, he could start by looking into my eyes." Annette said as she poured a cup of hot tea for Trudy, "Believe it or not, the poor guy did, and he was so stunned, that he practically fell over."

All three girls laughed as they heard that. Guys tended to underestimate the sense of intimacy that a look directly into the eyes produced.

"So how was 'Larry Chimney and the Last Gourd?'" Trudy asked Annette, much to her surprise.

"I... How did you know I went to see that movie?" Annette asked, totally flabbergasted.

"Huh?" Trudy asked, "I'm sorry. I thought it was supposed to be public knowledge."

"Well, I don't mind," Annette replied, "I'm just a little confused."

"Oh." Trudy remarked, then answered Annette's question, "It was the ticket stub. You still have it sticking halfway out of the trash can right next to the kitchen doorway, where anybody could see it. How was the movie?"

"Eh..." Annette replied, "It wasn't as interesting as the others. I never get tired of watching you do that, though, Trudy."

"Huh? Do what?" Trudy asked.

"Figure things out nobody else could know." Annette said, "Then make it sound all sensible when you've done it. That's really cool."

"No, it's... it's nothing." Trudy replied, feeling put on the spot, "Genevieve, you read the books. Did you see the movie yet?"

"Naw." Genevieve replied, "I kind of only read the books, because movies... tend not to be as good. I saw the third movie, for instance, and I was real disappointed. That 'goblin lord' looked like a skinny little duck with claws and fangs."

Trudy nodded in agreement, then turned back to face Annette, only to find that she was gone. Annette had vanished into the next room.

As they waited for Annette to get back from whatever she'd got up to do, Trudy and Genevieve continued talking. Annette, however, hadn't left because she was busy, exactly. She'd gotten up because she was starting to feel uncomfortable. Trudy was a genius in figuring out other people's secrets, and Genevieve could compare pretty much anything in the entertainment world to anything else, and whenever they talked big in those areas of expertise that they had, it only reminded Annette that she really didn't have any expertise in anything. Acting, looking popular, and thus becoming popular were pretty much the only things she was any good at, which was why she'd made such wonderful friends, but when she looked at them from a distance, they looked, to her, very different from the people they were in person.

Trudy looked, to Annette, like a brown-furred mink with long, brown hair, in a blue dress that reached down a little past her knees, and blue shoes to match. She also wore a gold-colored watch. Genevieve was a white-furred mink with a short mop of black hair that hung down at neck-length, wearing pink powder on her face, a bright red cartoon lipstick on her lips, and a pair of red shorts with a pink short-sleeved shirt, and red shoes with heels. Both were very beautiful, and so was Annette, even in the leaf-green dress she'd worn that day (which she thought was probably one of her least attractive-looking,) and with her red hair done in back, into a single ponytail, which made her look, she thought, like a housewife from some angles.

The problem was that when one got closer to any of those minks, one found keen intelligence in at least one area. Even Minerva Mink, who arrived only a moment later as Annette watched the table from the other room, had expertise in certain areas, and was generally considered by her friends to be clever, but Annette... Annette had no talents. She had no specialties, and she certainly wasn't a genius. On the outside, she was beautiful, and most of the time, that was good enough for her, but sometimes, spending time talking with her best friends drove her painful weaknesses home.

When Annette had been thinking like that for about five minutes, however, she decided the time had come to shake it off and get back to her party, so she quickly grabbed some milk and a small, covered pitcher of water from the refrigerator, to provide herself with a much-needed excuse for being gone so long, then moved back to the table.

Almost as soon as Annette sat down, however, to the pleasant greetings of Minerva and Genevieve, and put the milk and water down on the table, Trudy leaned over and whispered, "Don't beat yourself up, Annette. It's not your fault, and we don't think any less of you."

Annette got back up within ten seconds of having sat down, and made for the bathroom to lament her shortcomings a little more, as Trudy put her own face in her hands, just as it occurred to her that she'd used her talent for learning secrets again without realizing it.


"There she is again." a figure watching from outside chortled to himself, "She's finally in there with the others. Alright, now I can start phase one of the plan; the milk. Minerva and Trudy will want some with their tea. Genevieve won't. That's where phase 2 comes in."

Quickly, the figure pulled a small, handheld device from its pockets, and began working the levers and buttons on it, using it to send out microscopic pulses of power that would move things in the house according to the figure's careful plan.


Annette sighed as she looked for minute after minute into the bathroom mirror, seeing no glimmer of a brilliant leap of logic, or tremendous memory in her eyes. She learned slowly, she picked things up with difficulty and she was normal in every way. She wasn't really very special at all. Just then, however, the lights in the bathroom went out, and something hard fell on Annette's head, knocking her unconscious on the bathroom floor.


Minerva and Trudy had added the milk to their tea as predicted, and soon, were starting to get groggy. Genevieve noticed that, but she wasn't getting tired at all, and didn't think there was anything unnatural about it, until both collapsed forward, onto the table.

The figure watching from the shadows smiled, pushing another button on his remote, then watched as a spoon across the room inched its way into a bowl of walnuts and shot upward, flinging a walnut into the air at Genevieve's head.

Newt dared not remove his protective glasses, or risk being exposed to the radiant charm of Minerva Mink, but he had her unconscious, and Trudy, and Annette. In a split second, the walnut would knock Genevieve unconscious as well, and then he could get four minks in a trap originally set for only one.

However, at that moment, something happened that Newt couldn't have predicted.

The bathroom door was flung open from within, and out came Annette in a single leap, both eyes still closed, her mouth open, and forming words as she threw a toothbrush forward, towards the table. The toothbrush rushed through the air, directly into the path of the walnut, where the two collided, changing the path of the toothbrush in midair, as well as the walnut's path.

The walnut continued on, over Genevieve's head, and into the pitcher of water on the table, breaking it open, to spill over the heads of Minerva and Trudy, and waking them up in stunned, sputtering gasps, as well as sending small shards of glass flying into the air. One of those was hit by the toothbrush just before it hit the ground, and in moments, the hundred shards of glass flying over the table reflected the image of Minerva Mink onto that one, small shard that flew underneath the adjoining window.

For a moment, the inside of Newt's glasses contained only an image of her. He shrieked, struck back by that radiant image that he'd so long been protected from, and fell backwards, smashing his device on a nearby rock accidentally as he did so. In only a minute more, he was back up on his feet, and fleeing the scene, truly afraid for the first time in months.

"Whoa!" Genevieve exclaimed, the first one to get up and rush over to Annette as she stood just outside the bathroom, both eyes still closed in sleep. Genevieve was just able to grab her as she was about to fall back onto the floor.

"How did you do that?" Genevieve asked softly.

"Precise trajectory calculation." Annette muttered, still asleep, "Dimensional vectors eight, sixteen, thirty-two, zero."

"There are only three dimensional vectors..." Genevieve insisted, but Annette replied again, still sleeping.

"Fourth dimensional vector corresponds to the variable of the time index involved."

Genevieve did drop Annette on the floor just then, in shock and amazement, and both Minerva and Trudy had, by then, gathered their wits sufficiently to rush over and watch as Annette woke up, her eyelids fluttering rapidly, as she regained consciousness from the bump on her head.

"Ow! Geez. Who dropped the light bulb, guys?" Annette asked as she sat up on the floor, looking thoroughly oblivious to everything that had happened before.

"You mean you don't remember what you just did?" Genevieve asked, "The whole thing with the toothbrush and the glass, and the... That..."

Annette got up slowly and looked over at the table, and for a moment, wasn't able to say a word.

"I... I don't know what happened. I got hit with something in the bathroom, then I woke up out here..."

Minerva Mink and her friends had gathered around Annette, with smiles on their soaked faces as they helped her get her bearing again.

"You know," Minerva said, "I'm not sure what you just did, but I have a feeling it did us a world of good, and I think I may know someone who'd be able to help you find out what this means."


Annette was nervous, and when you're nervous, it's always hard to fall asleep. Nonetheless, she eventually did, closing both eyes as she looked up at the very small ceiling with the speakers built into it.

"Remarkable." the figure watching from outside the scanning chamber said, "Brain patterns just jumped hundreds of times upon entering REM sleep. I wonder if..."

Then, speaking into the microphone that allowed sound to enter the chamber, the brilliant scientist who was studying her sleeping patterns said "Your name is Annette. Not long ago, you saved your friends in a most brilliant manner, at a tea party."

"A simple matter of calculating precise trajectories, angles, air currents, gravitational factors, local energy fields and required momentum." Annette replied in her sleep.

"Indeed. Still, you couldn't have done it while you were awake."

"My higher brain functions are only accessible through my subconscious mind." Annette replied, "It's easier to perform such feats while sleeping."

"Fascinating." the scientist replied, "Tell me, what is Pi?"

"The ratio of the circumference of a circle relative to its diameter, having a mathematical value consisting of infinite digits past the decimal point." Annette replied.

"Simple, but intriguing." the scientist replied, "What about the theory of mass energy equivalence?"

"A simple theory stating that matter and energy always have equivalences in one another, expressible using the formula E=MC squared."

"What about Occam's Razor?"

"An easily misunderstood law having to do with probability, and so it is thoroughly riddled with holes in practical application, so long as we cannot be sure that all data has already been acquired, which states that the simplest explanation explaining the facts is always the correct one."

"And how do I take over the world?" The Brain asked, his eagerness growing as he listened to Annette's subconscious mind rattling off such simple truths with ease.

"Taking over the world requires a mutual consent by all its people in at least one factor, which can be used by a clever person to obtain their loyalty. To do this, all you have to do is..."

The Brain's eyes widened as he listened to her explanation. It was so simple! So incredibly simple, and yet it had never occurred to him before...

The End


Minerva: "Wow! A genius under my nose. Under Annette's nose, in fact, and she had no idea. The next Minktales, though, isn't about her, or even about me. It's about Newt. What is it that makes Newt keep coming back for more, after failing so often? I was never really sure, but I think he's about ready to explain it to me. What kind of motivation could force a dog to brave the rocky waters of true love, just to capture its very source? Can I help simplify Newt's life? Will I ever even see him again? That's all in the next big issue of Minktales."


Closing Notes; I've done so much in this issue to delve into Minerva's friends and what makes them so special. I think any one of them could give Newt a hard time. Still, these stories are really still about Minerva, regardless of what supporting characters she has, kind of like the Simpsons. They always have a supporting cast, but it's usually one of the five Simpson family members (or more than one) that's dwelled on as the centerpiece of the episode. Still, if others want me to get more into Minerva's friends, I guess I could. I doubt they'll ever have much bigger roles than in this issue, though.