Chapter 49
Thanks to everyone who's been writing such nice things and asking for more! I'm so glad you're all still reading! Welcome to all the new readers, it's great to see all the new names popping into my email. As always, I don't own any part of this wonderful series. Please keep reading and writing to let me know what you think!
The sky had turned grey and gloomy. The soft autumn winds had turned sharp and vicious. The trees were now nearly bare, and although most days were pretty to look at, today was not one of those days. Rain poured from the DC sky, soaking everything and everyone in its path. No one seemed happy to have to leave their houses, Sue included.
"Come on Levi. You can come to the office with me, but you're staying with Lucy." Sue commanded in a grouchy voice.
"Hi!" Lucy greeted Sue as she walked through the door of the bull pen.
"Hi." Sue mumbled.
"Wow, did you fall out of bed this morning?" She asked jokingly.
"Sorry. I hate mammograms." Sue grumbled.
"Oh. Did you go already?" Lucy asked quietly.
"No. I have to go in about an hour. I feel so icky. You know, even though the temperature is cool, I still feel like I'm nasty. I hate not being able to wear deodorant. Or powder. Or perfume!" She complained.
Tara looked up, noticing her friend's mood. "OK?" she asked pointing to Sue. Lucy just shrugged.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so miserable. Between lack of sleep, the weather, the wedding… the fact that I'm giving my notice today…" Sue said "And the mammogram!"
"Oh, today's the day… nervous?" Lucy asked hesitantly. Sue shook her head.
"A little." She admitted.
D walked through the office and Sue called to him.
"Hi Sue. What's up?" He asked. "Hi Luce." Lucy smiled and returned his greeting, and promptly made herself scarce.
"I was wondering if you had a few minutes later to talk?" Sue asked, trying to keep the trepidation out of her voice.
"Sure. I have a department meeting with upstairs, I'll let you know when I'm back." D said as he patted her arm. "Everything OK?"
"Yeah, fine. Thanks. I'll talk to you later. Oh, D, I have an appointment in an hour." Sue said smiling. D nodded and left for his meeting.
Sue tried to concentrate on work, but found herself drifting to thoughts of the kids, and her meeting with their father. She cringed when she thought of how angry Anita was going to be when she found out.
Jack smiled when he saw Sue was working with Levi by her side. He grabbed a cup of coffee and headed in her direction.
"Morning." He said, his hand lightly, promisingly brushing hers. She couldn't hide her smile as she looked into his chocolate brown eyes.
"Good morning." She greeted. "Can you keep Levi for me while I go to the hospital? I can't take him into the exam room with me, and I don't want to chance leaving him in the waiting area."
"Sure. Would you rather Lucy keep Levi and I take you to the radiology department?" He suggested.
"No. I'm fine Jack, but thank you. This is just follow up, no big deal. I can't leave him with Lucy because she had errands to run for a budget request form that Randy needs." She explained. He looked at her curiously. "I texted her already."
"OK." Jack said squeezing her hand.
"Do you have time to walk me to the car? I wanted to tell you something."
"Sure." He said grabbing his coat.
The couple walked as casually as possible to the elevator. No one outside their office really suspected anything was different between them, and they wanted to keep it that way.
Once in the parking garage, out of ear shot of the suits in the upper floors, Sue revealed to Jack that she was going to talk to D today about giving her notice.
"Do you want me there for that?" He asked.
"It's up to you. I can handle that part, but I would love for you to share the news with him… with everyone." Sue said.
"You're sure about this move?" He asked. Sue nodded.
"I'm sure. If I ever had doubts, they're long gone by now. This whole thing with the girl who emailed me that first day… it's taken on a life of its own, and getting crazier by the minute." He looked at her curiously, but she shook him off saying she would explain later.
"I love you." He said leaning down and kissing her. "You're sure you don't want me to go?"
"I love you too. I'll see you in a little while." She said as she drove out of the garage.
XOXOXOX
Sue checked in at the radiology department and checked her Black Berry. There was an email from Anita about Jacob's wrist, one from her dad- just saying hi, one from her new "boss" excitedly welcoming her to the team, and promising to call her as soon as he could. As she shut off the device, she felt a tap on her shoulder. As she looked up, she saw the warm welcoming eyes of a friend. Anne.
"Oh my gosh! Anne! It's so good to see you!" Sue gushed as she hugged her friend tight. "I didn't realize you'd be here today."
"Did you think I'd just up and leave this place? HA!" She laughed. "Besides, I knew you were coming in today. I wanted to be here." She paused, putting her hand on Sue's arm. "How are you?"
"Oh, thank you. I can't tell you what it means that you're here." She took a deep breath. "I'm good. Getting married in a couple of months, starting a new job after the first of the year… lots of good things coming." She said.
"Well, tell me all about them, while we go get this pain in the ass little thing taken care of." Anne said as she led Sue to the changing area, handing her the jonnie.
"How the surgery site feel?" Anne asked.
"Most of the time, good. I don't have a lot of pain, and when I do, it's either around the time I get my period, or from strain." Sue explained.
Anne examined the area while getting Sue set up on the machine.
"Looks great. Your scar isn't that bad either. How's the prosthetic working out for you?" She asked.
"Still getting used to it. I forget it half the time until I'm actually out in public." She laughed.
"OK, now, hold still. Take a deep breath for me." The machine vibrated and clicked, then the pressure released from the breast she still had.
"Anne? How does this work? How do I get a mammogram on this side when there's nothing there?" Sue asked.
"We do an x-ray, that's all. You're scheduled for an ultrasound as well." Anne informed her.
"I am? Why?" Sue asked.
"Routine. It's all routine." She answered.
They continued with the x-rays, and Anne led Sue to an exam room for the sonogram.
"I'll be back in a minute. Get comfortable." Anne said. A few minutes later, Anne returned dragging a machine behind her. "OK, I'm back." She abandoned the machine at the side of the bed and approached Sue's side. She held a bottle of warmed gel. "I warmed it up for you." She said with a giggle. "OK, lay flat, put your arms behind your head." Sue did as she was instructed. Anne squirted some of the warm sticky liquid onto her breast area. Anne ran the wand over, back and forth. She stopped, printed a picture, and then started the routine all over again. After thirty minutes, Anne shut off the machine, handed Sue a towel to wipe off with, and ripped off the pictures.
"Be right back." She said as she exited the room. Sue sat on the gurney, her socked feet hanging off, crossed over one another. She saw the door open and looked up, expecting to see Anne, but instead met the blue eyes of a handsome doctor, followed by Anne.
"Hi. I'm Dr. Klein." He held out his hand to shake Sue's. Sue looked curiously at him, then quickly to Anne. Sue suddenly felt as if she'd been kicked in the gut. Nausea rapidly over took her, she swallowed hard to keep from throwing up.
"What's wrong?" Sue asked quickly. "Anne?" She nearly demanded trying to keep herself in check.
"Probably nothing." Anne began. "I thought I felt something when I was examining you."
"Oh, God… please no." Sue whispered.
"Just lay back Ms. Thomas. We'll make this as painless as possible." He said.
"I can deal with the pain, make it as thorough as possible. I don't want to walk out of here today not knowing." She said.
Anne walked to Sue's side, patting her hand. The doctor opened Sue's jonnie and pushed it to the side. He positioned her arm above her head. He carefully maneuvered his fingers in the general area of the "node" that Anne had thought she felt.
"Anne, can you put that chest x-ray up for me, please?" He asked. Anne put the pictures of her breast area up for the doctor to see. He looked carefully at the sonogram pictures as his fingers pressed against her side, arm pit, and the abandoned area where her breast once was.
He took a towel and put it under Sue's shoulder. The doctor then leaned over, pulling the sonogram machine closer to him. He squirted some of the gel onto her breast area.
"Ewww…" Sue giggled in spite of herself.
"Yeah, that is our most popular complaint. The 'ewww' of the gel!" He chuckled. You would think it would be us mushing the ladies breasts into flattened pancakes, but nope. They'll take the pain of that any day, but the minute the gel goes on, there's the complaint." He said with a laugh. Sue giggled. Anne did too.
The doctor moved the wand in the area of the lump that Anne thought she'd noticed. It wasn't long before the doctor 'felt' it too with the wand, and saw it pop up on the screen. He took a picture of it and looked at the print out. Sue became nervous, knowing he'd seen something.
"Please God, please…" Sue silently whispered.
Sue noticed as Anne's face seemed to unwrinkled, that gave her some relief.
"It's scar tissue Ms. Thomas." He said.
"Scar tissue?" Sue asked. The doctor nodded.
"Yup. Nothing more, and best of all, nothing to worry about." The doctor assured her.
"Are you sure?" Sue asked nervously.
"Yes." He said. "It could be something called cording, but it doesn't feel like that."
"What's cording?"
"It's hardening of the lymph node vessels. It occurs quite often after breast surgery. I don't think this is what we're dealing with though, since you don't seem to have any restriction of your arm. Has there been any pain in the area?" He asked Sue.
"No. Nothing more than expected after major surgery." Sue answered.
"Let me see your hand." He instructed Sue. Sue gave him her opposite hand. He guided it to the area of the lump. "Feel that?" He asked. Sue nodded. "That's what we're dealing with. To me, that feels like scar tissue. I want you to keep an eye on it. This time next week, I want you to check it again. If you think it's bigger, call me. Don't hesitate to call. If it's not, relax. I want you to check it every week. Any changes, get in here.
"What if it changes? Gets bigger" Sue asked.
"Then we spend more time together." Anne said.
"We start the process all over again." The doctor explained.
"If it is something, if it changes, and we start again… be honest with me, what are the chances it's curable? What are the odds it's cancer again?" Sue asked, her nerves obvious in her voice.
"Sue, don't get yourself upset with the 'what ifs'. It won't do anything but stress you out, and there is nothing you can do until we know what we're dealing with, but in my honest professional opinion, I think we're dealing with scar tissue." The doctor tried to reassure.
"And if nothing changes?" Sue asked.
"If nothing is different, we will see you again in three months." He said writing in her chart.
"I thought we'd go to six months this time around?" Sue asked.
"Not yet. We'll stick with three months to keep an eye on this." He said nonchalantly.
"So you do think it's something." Sue said.
"No. I think it's something we need to watch. My question is more whether this is cording or scar tissue. In my experience, I would say scar tissue. I don't want you losing sleep over this, but I do want you to watch it." He paused. "Sue, if there was anything I thought we should be worried about, I would have you going through a slew of tests. You'd be going for blood work, three d x-rays, and anything else I could think of." He said reassuringly. Sue breathed a sigh of relief.
The doctor handed Sue a prescription wished her well, and walked from the room.
"Why don't you get dressed and come see me in my office?" Anne said as she walked from the room, closing the door behind her.
Sue put her bra on, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She let the material fall, exposing herself. She walked closer to the mirror, staring at her reflection. Sue reached out and touched the image, tracing her scar. After a long minute of self-pity, continued getting dressed. Taking a deep breath, she regained her composure and strolled into Anne's office.
"So, when did you get your own office?" Sue asked impressed.
"Ehh, I'm just filling in for Dianna." She said.
"That prescription is if you have a lot of pain or discomfort. If you don't need it, don't use it." She paused watching Sue. "You're OK Sue. Really." She stopped. "I've been here since the first diagnosis, right? I was straight with you then. I didn't sugar coat anything. Why would I start that now?" Anne asked.
"Now, that makes me feel better." Sue said.
Anne made her next appointment and Sue headed back to the office, feeling a bit more relieved.
Sue had barely made her way to the bull pen when D walked in as well.
"Sue?" He called. She looked in his direction. He waved for her to follow him. Sue reached into her draw and took out her official resignation. Jack shot up and met her half way across the floor.
"Want some company?" He whispered as she made her way to their boss's office.
"No. Thanks." She said as she blew past him. Jack watched her closely then made a bee line to Lucy.
"What's up with Sue?" He asked.
"I don't know, why?" Lucy asked, only half listening.
"She just blew me off. I asked if she wanted me to go with her to D about her leaving the bureau and she brushed me off like I asked if she wanted a coffee." Jack said. "Did she tell you how she made out at the doctor's office?"
"No. You?" Lucy asked. Jack shook his head. "I hope everything's OK."
Sue walked into D's office, sitting across from his desk, her legs crossed. She held her letter in her lap, holding it tightly.
"How did things go? At the doctor's." D asked.
"Oh, good, thanks." Sue said. It was unusually awkward between them. D noticed.
"Sue? Is everything OK?" He asked.
"Yeah, sure." She took a deep breath.
"You needed to talk to me?"
"Yeah. Umm, D?" she began. "Here." She handed him the folded paper. "I- I have thought long and hard about this, and have decided to take a job as an inspirational speaker." She said nervously. D's eyes got wide.
"Wow. Uh, I- I don't know what to say." He began. "I'm guessing there's nothing we can to do make you stay…"
"It's nothing the bureau did, or didn't do for that matter… I have this incredible opportunity, and it allows me to be able to pursue other interests." She smiled shyly.
"Jack." He stated smiling at her. Sue blushed.
"Yeah." Sue said softly.
"So, when do you leave us?" He asked.
"A couple weeks. Excuse me." She said taking out her Blackberry and texting Jack. Moments later there was a knock on the door.
Jack stuck his head in. "You wanted to see me?" He asked Sue.
"I thought maybe you'd like to be here when I tell him." She said.
"Tell me? Oh, that you've already gotten involved?" D said knowingly.
"Well, it's a little more than that." Sue said.
"We're getting married D." Jack said.
"That's great! When?" D asked.
"Christmas Eve." They answered together.
"This Christmas Eve?" D asked. Sue giggled, Jack laughed and in unison said yes.
"Invitations are going out this week… sort of why I wanted to do this now…" She smiled with a guilty smile.
"Uh, D?" Jack began. "We'd like to formally announce our engagement. Any chance you could get that upstairs today?" He asked.
"Yeah, no problem." He said as he rose from behind the desk. He walked to Sue, leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. He then offered his hand to Jack. "Congratulations you guys. Really, it's about time."
"Thanks." They both said as they walked out of his office.
"Oh, D… I'm having a party, just a little dinner get together for the team at my place tonight, you and Donna join us?" Jack offered.
"You are?" Sue asked.
"Yup."
"Sure. Let me call her, but I think we can make it." D said.
