Courage Found
After taking several days to prepare himself for the verbal assault he was sure to receive Braden found Dean in the backyard playing catch with Jack on Saturday afternoon at the house. "Braden," the boy yelled.
"Hey buddy how are ya?"
"I'm good, I got an A on my spelling test and it was hard," the boy said excitedly.
"Wow, that is great my man. How about I talk to Dad about letting you come over tonight," Braden said.
"Yeah," Jack answered his fist tight and pumping up and down.
"Okay well gives a few minutes to discuss it?"
"Yep," Jack said running over to the fort that remained in the backyard from when Braden was young.
"Let's go in the garage," Dean suggested.
"Yes sir," Braden agreed.
"So to what do I owe this visit?"
"Joey and her making me face reason."
"Really, I always knew I liked that vampire," Dean said his arms folded across his chest gaze directed to his eldest son.
"Dad I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I took advantage of you being out of commission to do what I always do."
"Which is?"
"Going off on my own with no regard for safety."
"Damn right you could've been killed son," Dean began.
"And you were, you were dead Dad, stone cold dead," Braden responded heatedly. "Your dead body was in my hands, do you know what that is like, to try and breathe life back into someone, someone who is so important to you? You were lifeless, no heartbeat no breath sounds and there I was barely able to keep it together. What if I failed, what if you were dead, how would I be able to deal with that, live my life, go on?"
"And how would I have felt if you had gotten killed while I'm in the hospital, there only because you had saved me but now if a fit of revenge you got yourself killed. Tell me what I would have done?"
"Touché, I guess. I didn't come talk to you because I was afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
"You, of losing you. It brought back memories of when I was a kid and was kidnapped, being separated and helpless."
"But you weren't helpless son, you knew exactly what to do and you saved my life. I mean Sam can do the whole mouth to mouth and CPR deal, I think he can anyway, maybe you should freshen us up with some lessons," Dean said thinking about it, "but there was no way he was going to cut my neck open and do what you did; kid I owe you my life."
"It's just that reality came slamming home, the edge that we live on."
"So you respond by walking on that edge? Your response doesn't make any sense."
"Maybe because if I die then I won't mourn anybody else's death, I saw it up close Dad and I didn't care for it. You were slipping through my fingers and it really scared me, I couldn't deal with it."
"So you'll potentially leave me to deal with it? You don't want to bury your father but you'll leave me to bury my son. To explain your death to your mother, your brother and girlfriend, you're copping out kid and if you don't have the strength to deal with what you must then you don't belong in this business. You're being selfish and I won't let that happen, in fact I've fought it over and over again," Dean sighed unsure if he was making any sense. "Look it is a package deal, you think you are ready to die for the cause, I've felt that way too many times, but when it comes down to it you find that you aren't as sure as you seem to think. Watching someone else die, someone you love is hell and never leaves you, but it can happen and may well happen, but as you can attest to in your line of work you don't have to be hunters for it to happen. I just want you to use your head and quit being so damn defiant," Dean stated.
Braden just stood his face showing no emotion.
"Hey am I being clear?" Dean asked. When he again got no response he grabbed Braden by the shirt and pulled him close, sensing something he let go of his son's shirt and pulled him close, his arms around Braden and held him tightly as the boy who was now a man began to let the sobs that he had bottled up for weeks began to escape.
Mia had heard Braden's voice earlier and wondered where he and Dean had disappeared to. She was getting something from the closet near the garage door and thought she heard something. She opened the door and saw Dean comforting a very upset Braden. She looked at Dean with concern but was given a reassuring look and then heard Jack calling out to her. She knew Braden who she loved every bit as much as Jack was in Dean's capable hands so she turned to see what her youngest needed.
"Mom, where's Dad and Braden? He said I could go to his house tonight," the eight year old said with excitement.
"Well that certainly sounds like fun, but Dad and Braden are talking about something very important right now and you need to leave them alone for a little while longer," Mia told her son.
Jack obviously not very happy about that blew out a mouthful of air but returned to his play in the backyard.
"So do you want to walk away from hunting?" Dean asked after Braden had settled a bit.
"Yes, no, I don't know," Braden answered. "I mean anybody can die doing anything but this just took the wind out of my sails. I don't think I can walk away from this, I mean you tried and then you tried to keep me from it, but no matter what it always came calling even when I was a little kid. Uncle Sam tried to escape, I just don't think it is a choice, you are born into it and there isn't much of a choice."
"Maybe to an extent, we don't turn a blind eye when there's a need but not searching for cases helps keep you out of the fight."
"So maybe just when one is presented we should go after it?"
"Right, kind of like we have, but Braden you have to be in 100% or it doesn't work," Dean advised.
"I know this just shook me up."
"I'm sure it did," Dean said noticing that Braden seemed to be holding something back. "Son what is it? There's more to this than you are telling me."
Braden sucked in a deep breath and wiped the tears from his face with the back of his hand. He smiled and looked at the wall and then to Dean his smile tightening. "It's just been a rough few weeks and life can just get so out of control."
"What is it Braden?" Dean asked now on edge.
"Morgan's pregnant," Braden said looking down at his shoes.
"What? Are you sure?"
"I dropped my watch into the trashcan in the bathroom and went I went digging for it I found a pregnancy test and it was positive."
"And you're sure it's hers, I mean a friend of hers could've come over and taken the test. Have you spoken to Morgan?"
"No sir, I haven't spoken to her much at all," he admitted.
"Well I think you better start. I'll tell you what you go home talk to your girlfriend, the woman who has put up with your crap for the last few weeks and is very worried about you and later I'll bring Jack over along with pizza, does that sound good?"
"Yeah it does, thanks Dad," Braden said with a huge grin.
"What's the smile for?"
"Nothing Grandpa," Braden replied.
Dean shook his head, hey we don't know that yet," Dean said.
"I'll see you later Dad, tell Jack bye for me okay?" Braden said his face still showing the residue of his tears.
Braden gingerly made his way into the house hoping Morgan didn't hate him. He had been difficult to get along with lately he didn't deny that, but now he hoped she would accept his apology. He couldn't find her at first but quickly discovered her in the backyard watering some plants. Spring had finally sprung and plants were popping up everywhere and it had become rather warm in the heat of the day. The Winchester's were planning a barbeque for Carrie's birthday and part of Braden's timing in coming clean to his father was so they could all attend without things being awkward. Carrie had always been good to Braden and there was no way he would miss honoring her birthday.
"Hey babe," Morgan said seeing Braden.
"Hi, can we talk?" Braden asked quietly.
"Of course we can, in fact I'd be thrilled if we talked."
So Braden recounted his story that he had with Dean and the emotional roller coaster he had been on and then asked if there had been anything she wanted to discuss.
"Why do you ask?"
"I saw what was in the trash can, was it yours?"
"Do you want it to be?"
"If it was, I'd be okay with it."
"Would you, I mean really would you?
"Yeah I really would," Braden said.
"Thank God, because I was really worried."
"Then…"
"Yeah congratulations Daddy," Morgan giggled.
"Really?"
"Yep, I'm pregnant, I went to the doctor yesterday and she confirmed it. I'm about 6 weeks along. The due date is in December."
"Wow and I haven't even given a thought as to what I getting you for Christmas," Braden joked.
"I'm just so glad you are happy."
"Hey this baby is every bit as much mine as it is yours, except for the carrying it around for nine months," Braden said putting his face next to Morgan's stomach. "I think its going to be a girl."
"And what makes you say that?"
"I have no idea," Braden said kissing his love.
Later that evening Dean with his hands full of pizza and Jack his hands full of soda stepped into the quiet living room and wondered where everybody was. Dean was hoping Braden hadn't come home too upset and Morgan had to beat him or something worse, but as Jack so eloquently yelled out for his big brother both Braden and Morgan came down the hallway hand in hand.
"We have pizza and soda," Jack announced.
"Yay!" Morgan said back helping the little guy with the two liter bottles.
"So?" Dean asked his son quietly before burst, "what's the news?"
Braden only gave his father a tight smile and a slight nod.
"I don't know whether to hug you or slug you for making me a grandpa," Dean said quietly.
"Don't say anything we're going to tell everybody at the barbeque tomorrow."
"My lips are sealed," Dean promised.
And they were, the rest of the family was surprised and thrilled with the news and the next 7 ½ months flew by. Braden crammed his college courses in so he could become a full paramedic by the time the baby arrived and Morgan had prepared the house for the new arrival. He was guessing a daughter and Morgan a son…
