Chapter 43: Second Test

"You all rested up?" Riku asked as we headed towards wherever the exam was being held. I would've slept in but I'm too pumped up for this. This is a pretty exciting way of doing school entrance exams. Holy…that's a school? I thought Riku's house was the biggest, fanciest thing I've ever seen. This place is easily a hundred times better. Haruhi and Konata seemed equally awestruck. We headed inside where Riku helped us register for the exam. He left after saying the lobby is for participants only. He added that he would be watching so they better do a good job. Great that just made me nervous…

How many people are in here anyway? I know it's pretty big but I'm sure there's no way everyone can fit in here. Maybe it just expands? Haruhi ended up having an argument with a group of guys. Guess she wants the table. They went on rambling about how they don't take any orders from anybody else but someone called the Snow Princess. Konata disappeared for a moment before coming back, using Cosplay to look like Kanata. I think you could easily pass as your mom without having to do that.

"So harassing Commander North's daughter wasn't enough for you? Do you not know who this young lady is?" Konata asked the group. The group remained respectful to her due to her appearance, but I could tell they had no clue what Konata was talking about.

"Why I'm the almighty Supreme Commander of the SOS Brigade, Haruhi Suzumiya! Bow down before me plebeians!" she proclaimed with exceptional authority. I don't think you needed to add the 'plebeian' part.

"What kind of ridiculous group would name themselves after a mayday signal? I refuse to bow down before an insignificant, arrogant little girl. Even if a Commander is ordering me to do so" retorted who I guess is their leader. His minions nodded in agreement. Hey man, I suggest you cooperate. You do not want to know what happened to the last club leader that messed with Haruhi.

Oh God here it comes…She grabbed their leader's hand and dragged him towards Konata. He then proceeded to place his hand on her chest, pushed them together and then knocking them both on the ground in the position most people would immediately guess. She then snapped plenty of photos with a camera that she materialized. Konata turned beet red and, if it were possible, smoke would be coming out her ears and nose right about now. The poor fan club leader could only stay completely still in utter shock of molesting who everyone thought was a real Commander.

"Then I'll just say you fucked Commander Izumi against her will~! Give us the table and I'll give you the camera, deal?" she said giving him an innocent looking smile. I can feel the aura of malice coming off her in deluging waves. He immediately agreed and got the camera from Haruhi. He then put on his Object, a pair of brass knuckles, and pummelled the 'evidence' into oblivion.

"Don't think you'll get away with this!" he said as his club cleared the table.

Haruhi pulled out an SD card. Wait is that…? She said to him in a threatening manner, "A good leader always has a Plan B, so I suggest you think twice before you try that!" If the guy had no more dignity to lose he probably would've fainted on the spot. He and his club stormed off as Haruhi began laughing triumphantly. I went over to Konata who was still trying to digest what just happened to her.

"Konata are you alright…?" I asked her gently.

"He…violated me…He must DIE!" she yelled out, snapping out of her daze. That's definitely different from Mikuru's reaction. You're back to normal at least. I just hope Kanata and/or Riku didn't see that. Surely there'll be hell to pay if they did.

Commander Kelowna appeared before all of us and, with her voice magically amplified, asked for everyone's attention. Everyone immediately looked in her direction. Or maybe it was her wicked looking scythe. Yeah, it's definitely her scythe. She told them that the exam would be a battle royale. Oh this is not gonna end well for a certain someone. I saw Konata look at him like he had just been targeted for termination. Commander Kelowna said that people would be allowed to form teams. Everyone began talking to each other trying to form teams. Some of them were just pairs while other groups had up to a dozen people in them. Haruhi signed up the three of us as a group. When everyone was set, the room disappeared in a blinding flash.

When the room materialized again we were in the middle of a plain. Haruhi yelled at us to get ready as a trio tried to attack us. The trio were taken down by three beams of pink light as I heard Rika's familiar voice cry out "Trio: Ragnarok Requiem!" She ran up to us with her own team. Konata turned back to herself and copied Rika. Without saying a word she left. Commence bloody rampage. "I don't see that ending well. I think we should follow her" Rika said as she motioned for her team to follow. The rainforest we were running towards disappeared in a flash of pink light. Rika laughed and said that Konata was a quick learner. Even from here we could hear her yelling "Out of my way noobs! He must DIE!" In a serious tone Rika said that it would be difficult for her to remain in control due to Omega's bloodlust. I think it's Copy Omega that's in for the ride, not Konata.

"Well while we're still around I'd like to introduce you to my team. The girl here in the kimono and black hair is Aisha. The one in the futuristic uniform is Alice Toki. The other Commanders insisted that I do the exam to legitimately enter Fantasia" she said as we ran after Konata following her path of destruction. Wait they actually let Rika in without doing the exams? A trio of survivors from Konata's rampage were mowed down easily by Rika's double shot and energy wave combo. Alice pouted and said that Konata was hogging all the fun. Aisha retorted by saying that at least the only ones that'll be left will be worthy adversaries.

Sure enough Aisha was right. A group consisting of a dozen people ambushed us. I immediately set up a barrier around our entire group. Alice took out a submachine gun that looked unusually similar to Riku and Rika's Buster Shot. "Locking unto maximum number of targets. Target locks established. Pulse Repeater prepped for homing fire" said a monotonous male voice. Did her visor just talk? She fired half a dozen purple beams which flew out of the barrier. A few seconds later it said "Targets neutralized. Cooling down" as a few vents on her gun opened up discharging excess heat.

Aisha pulled out her twin katanas as a pair of horns grew from her head. Whoa wait, is she a Demon? In a guttural voice she said "Save your strength for the coming battles Furude Ojou-sama. I shall handle the remnants of their force" as she jumped out. I take it panicked screaming equals ass kicking? I took down the barrier to check. Sure enough the few of them remaining tried to fight back. Aisha was just a moving blur and the only sign of her attacks were the absurdly perfect slash marks going right through her targets.

"Hey Rika…is she a Demon?" I asked her.

"Yep. A Greater Half-Daemon to be precise. Her mother is a Greater Daemon and her father is a normal human. I don't think I need to finish explaining for you to get the idea" she said to me. Yep no need to finish, I get the idea.

"Your friend is insane by the way. She's managed to eliminate three quarters of the participants by herself. Though I guess her array of kill sats are helping" remarked Alice. We could see the storm of pink beams all around us in the distance. The kill sats are definitely helping.

"Don't call her insane; she's just venting some anger. Wanna see why?" said Haruhi as she pulled out the SD card. Uh, lets not. I told Haruhi to put it away and we continued taking out anybody else that was left. Haruhi and Rika took point, slashing or lunging at anyone that got in our way with their energy sword and beam rapier. Man I'm not getting any action again…By the time we caught up to Konata the only remaining teams were ours and the fan club. So they were pretty skilled after all. That, or anyone stupid enough to jump them ended up becoming an unintentional meatshield. I feel better believing my second opinion.

"Is it just me or do I hear the remixed version of One Winged Angel?" Haruhi asked us. Come to think of it, I do hear it. Although I'm pretty sure Konata replaced Sephiroth's name with hers. That's actually pretty badass…Hopefully she doesn't accidently vaporize us…

"I knew Ragnarok Requiem had an Orchestra setting but not a rock band one!" replied Rika as she burst out laughing. So it's an orchestral/rock band orbital bombardment via an array of kill sats? We didn't get a chance to contemplate that for long since Konata had finished taking out the fan club. We were a bit unsure what we should do as she started walking towards us.

With her typical lazy smile she said "I feel better now. A little rampage is an awesome way to relieve stress." I'm pretty sure that's the Ax Crazy Copy Omega talking. On another note why hasn't the exam ended yet?

"Here comes the fun part! Now our teams have to face off against each other!" Haruhi exclaimed excitedly. Really?

Rika dashed up to Konata who was ready to retaliate. When their swords clashed they made a massive shockwave that almost knocked me down. "Fate would have me face another copy of myself. This time however Rika and I will be victorious!" yelled out Model O. "Orchestra: Ragnarok Requiem!" Konata and Rika cried out in unison. The pair of massive intertwining beams engulfed both of them. Well at least they died an epic death. Haruhi wasted no time using her whip to pull Alice towards her for a barrage of thrusts from her beam rapier. Unfortunately I ended up getting assassinated by Aisha before I could see how it all ended.

"Well I got taken out much more easily than I thought" said Rika as she and Konata collapsed in a pair of seats, exhausted. The two of them had a good laugh about it.

"Gah, that girl took me out so easily! I didn't even see her attack coming…" fumed Alice.

"Hey, Aisha did the same thing to me so don't whine…" I said to Alice. I wonder how Haruhi is doing.

Aisha appeared a few minutes later saying "That fight was…exhilarating. I have never gone up against such a powerful opponent before. I can say without hesitation that no words could describe it…"

Shortly afterwards Haruhi appeared crashing onto the fan club leader proclaiming "A triumphant victory for the SOS Brigade!" Seriously…what happened in there?


"Um…what happened?" I asked Kanata.

"I'm not sure…" replied Kanata. We, along with the rest of the spectators, were greeted by static during the final fight. I doubt anyone but Haruhi or that Half-Demon knows what transpired within. Unfortunately for us the Half-Demon was utterly speechless and Haruhi was too busy celebrating. I assume much epic ass kicking ensued? I suppose no one but those two will ever really know.

The rankings popped up showing all of the participants' standing. Konata and Rika tied for 4th place with Konata getting special mention for eliminating a solid 75% of the participants. I wonder what sparked that bloody rampage…Alan placed 3rd without doing anything but blocking. As if to joke about it he got special mention for being a pacifist survivalist by placing third without scoring a single kill. And of course Haruhi placed 1st in her unknown epic showdown with the Half-Demon.

"Well at least Kona-chan did excellently, eh Kanata?" I said to congratulate her daughter's outstanding performance.

"I definitely wasn't expecting that…Although I wonder what had her so upset…" she contemplated. Perhaps I'll ask her when I congratulate her. I'm surprised that failure fan club managed to place pretty high on the rankings. Although Konata's rampage might explain that.

As the three of them exited Fantasia, people parted for Haruhi and Konata. A 750:1 kill/death ratio and an epic showdown is a pretty easy way to earn a reputation. I heard the fan club leader say that Konata's title should be Bloody Lolita. I told him that he better not spread that around or I'll see to it that he regrets doing so. I finally managed to reach the three of them to congratulate them.

"So Konata, what inspired your crazy killing spree?" I asked her. She told Haruhi to make a camera so I could view the pictures. After loading a SD card into it, Haruhi switched it to viewing mode. The following images I saw had me stuck between utter hilarity of Haruhi repeating what she did to Mikuru and sheer terror and shock. There'd be hell to pay if her mother ever saw this. I immediately snatched the camera and SD card, threw it on the ground, made a gun and proceeded to vaporize it. No one should ever see those pictures. I did my best to purge the images from my mind but I fear that my old 'tendencies' may keep it forever burned into my subconscious.

"You know the fan club leader did that too" noted Alan.

"But thankfully an intrepid leader always has a Plan C to Z!" exclaimed Haruhi as she pulled out twenty four other SD cards which I can only assume has the contents of the one I just destroyed. This would be hilarity on a scale never before seen by mankind if it wasn't for the fact Kanata will kill all of us for letting her daughter get violated while looking like her.

We're screwed…


Author's Notes: I hope you enjoyed the action triple bill. As always, leave a review to comment or criticize.