Hey guys! So, good news and bad news. The good news is that the past few days I've been packing and driving up to campus and tomorrow I'm moving into my dorm, which means during the long car ride I had plenty of time to write (I've got a couple chapters lined up now). The bad news is that means I start working in the research laboratory day after next, so I'm not sure how much time I'm going to have to write. On the other hand, I am going to try to stick to my promise about the 350 reviews celebration (which will probably end up happening after this chapter). So, expect more updates over the next few days/week.

Fun fact: this story is over 230 pages long so far (not counting this chapter)!

Teddy and the others woke up from their drug-induced state before Tavish did. Tavish's encounter with the shadow creature was far less light-hearted than Teddy's. He saw very similar things and if I were to describe what he saw, it would be an identical description to what Teddy saw, but that is merely because the English language does not have words to accurately describe the differences. He saw a forest, just as Teddy had, and that forest was twisted around almost in four dimensions or new colors, but the new colors were different from the ones that Teddy had seen.

His shadow asked him similar questions – what was his name? What was his Patronus? Who exactly was he? But when it came time to discuss the darkest parts of his character, the conversation took on a very different angle.

"You are very modest," the shadow said. "You have many strong points that I don't think you see or acknowledge as much as you should. Tell me, Tavish, what are your downfalls?"

Tavish was quiet for a moment. "I'm overly ambitious sometimes. I can't trust people as easily as I should. I lock people out sometimes. And..." He trailed off, not wanting to finish his sentence.

"And?" the shadow prompted.

"And… I have this thing inside me," Tavish said, looking for the words. "It started with nightmares, but it's gotten worse. It's something bad, I know that, it's shadowy and evil and it makes me do things I never would consider ordinarily."

"That darkness has been with you for a long time, Tavish," the shadow said, grinning an invisible grin. "Longer than you can remember. Have you been fighting that darkness?"

"Yes!" Tavish said quickly.

"Don't," the shadow whispered.

"What?! Why?"

"Think of it like devil's snare," the shadow explained. "The more you fight it, the tighter it will wrap its fingers around you and the harder it will be for you to breathe. But if you relax into it, accept it, it will loosen and suddenly you'll be free of its burdens. You must accept all parts of yourself. Fighting it will not make it go away, you'll just end up killing yourself. Do you understand, Tavish?"

"Yes... No," Tavish admitted. "I almost killed someone once. If I hadn't fought it off, I would be a murderer!"

"Because you had already been fighting it," the shadow said. "You weren't sleeping, you weren't eating, you weren't talking to your friends. You curled up in a corner and devoted all your energy to fighting it instead of allowing yourself to live despite it. You must understand, by fighting it you feed it."

"Why is it there? Why me? Does everyone have this darkness?"

"I'm afraid not everyone has it," the shadow said with a sad, tired sigh. "This is a unique burden you must bear, and you have borne it well so far. But if you ever hope to remain yourself, you have to recognize this belongs to you. It is impossible to explain why you must deal with this as you have, but you must."

"But…" Tavish paused. He wanted to say it wasn't right, that it wasn't fair, and he wanted to complain and be angry about this burden he had been given. He knew something was off about him, and in a way, he had known for a long time. Even so, it stung to be told there was no way to get rid of this. "Alright. If I accept it, it'll get better? You promise?"

"I do, Tavish."

"Okay. Alright, I'll do it."

"Good," the shadow said. "Tell me, what was your weakest moment?"

"The time that Death Eater hexed me and there wasn't anything I could do about it."

"So then your greatest fear is being powerless?"

Tavish was taken aback for a moment. He had thought his greatest fear would be losing his friends or being hurt, but he realized his true fear was not being able to do anything about those situations. "Yes."

"What makes you feel strongest? What helps ease that fear?"

"My friends." Tavish didn't hesitate.

"Any one in particular?"

"Sev," Tavish said, and then added as an after thought, "And maybe Rom. But definitely Sev."

"Do you accept that? Do you accept all sides of yourself, the good, the bad, the weak, the strong?"

Tavish took a deep, ragged breath, staring into the strange world around him. "Yes. I do. I'm ready."

"Aye," the shadow agreed. "I believe you are. Prepare to meet yourself."

In a blur, the shadow was gone, leaving Tavish alone in the foreign woods. He stood,looking for a sign of his animagus form. In a flash of wings, something flew towards his head and he ducked instinctively, raising his arms over his head. Something heavy and sharp wrapped around his forearm and his arm sagged with the weight as whatever it was landed on him. He looked up at his arm slowly and saw a huge bird perched there, staring down at him.

The bird was every definition of magnificent. It had a long black beak that came to a sharp, wicked point, and it seemed like it was made out of obsidian. The tip of his beak was gold, and it ended in light fluffy feathers that framed strikingly intelligent eyes. The eyes were gold with flecks of bright green, and had black slits almost like a cat's. It had a long neck with a frill following its spine, and its feathers went from a light golden yellow to a deep scarlet. It had a long tail with feathers that reminded Tavish of a peacock, and they seemed iridescent almost. Its claws were probably three inches long and were wrapped as delicately as possible around his forearm. The bird was big, bigger than any phoenix Tavish had seen, standing at just about three feet high and very similar in size to Severin's eagle owl.

It blinked at him and rubbed its head against Tavish's face, and then exploded in a burst of flames. Tavish let out a strangled scream and stumbled backwards as the hot ash landed on his arm and seemed to melt into his skin, absorbing the phoenix into him. Despite the fact that it was only a vision, it actually burned.

Tavish lurched upright and out of his dream, grasping his arm tightly to his chest and rocking to his feet. His only thought was cold water. His friends were all awake, too, and watching him with surprise. He ignored them, running straight for the faucet and running cool water over his arm. There was a burn there, in the angry red outline of a phoenix feather.

"Tav, are you okay?" Severin asked, rushing to his friend's side.

"Fine," Tavish breathed, searching his arm for other marks; there were no other burns or scratches from the bird's claws.

"Is that a burn? What happened?" Teddy asked, peering over Tavish's shoulder.

"I don't know," Tavish murmured, the pain finally abating.

"What did you see?" Jack asked.

"A phoenix," Tavish said with a shrug. "He was magnificent."

"Yeah," Severin said with a sigh, "I think we all loved our forms. I can't wait to try shifting for real."