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Last time: Alfie tried to help Mara, tried to make her feel better, but it seems Jerome's too jealous for that. He's warned Alfie and made him promise to ignore the girl he loves. Meanwhile, the girls are trying to help Mara get over him.

Mara was the last person to walk downstairs. It was a Tuesday and they had a Physics exam second period. She had been revising her notes. Her shoes clicked in the silence. Everyone was quiet when she walked in, not that they had been talking very much anyway. She looked around for a seat.

Normally, it would next to Jerome. But today, that seat was filled by Alfie. Very convenient. She brushed her hair back and tried to think of anything else

"Come sit by me, Mars," Mick offered, patting the chair the other side of him. Joy nodded, hating seeing Mara so small. Mara smiled

"Thanks, Mick," she said quietly, sitting opposite him. She didn't look up, just poured her cereal and started to eat slowly. The entire table was quiet.

"Jeez! Is this what it's gonna be like for the rest of our days?" Patricia cried, setting her spoon down "Come on guys, let's talk."

"Patricia…wanting talk," Eddie gasped sarcastically "Why it's a miracle!"

Everyone at the table snickered slightly. Patricia slapped Eddie's arm, but she smiled too, at least they all had their sense of humour.

Line Break

"Mara?" Mrs Andrews asked as everyone worked away at the work sheet. Mara looked up and managed a smile.

"Yes Mrs Andrews?"

"Are you alright?"

Mara sighed slightly, so it was obvious? She took a deep breath, and straightened up "I'm fine."

"Do you want to move to sit next to one of your friends? Aren't you lonely up here at the front by yourself?" Mrs Andrews asked kindly. Mara was her favourite student, partly because she was one of the few pupils that liked to learn. And seeing her all on her own….Mrs Andrews felt bad. She didn't have any kids herself.

Mara flinched slightly, she had chosen to sit at the front by herself. She turned to look over her shoulder, Eddie and Patricia were sat next to each other. They would have let her sit by them…but they were rather distracting. Then Mick and Joy, Mick had actually asked her to sit by them, but she felt bad for Joy, she knew Joy got jealous sometimes, she didn't want to take advantage of Mick's kindness.

She turned to the other side of the classroom, Fabian and Nina and Amber, sharing a desk. She couldn't sit by them, she felt like a stranger. Even though she now knew about SIBUNA, she…she wasn't an actual member, and she knew they weren't fond of spilling secrets. And then, at the back of the class: Jerome and Alfie.

Mara's heart ached for a moment, because Jerome was leaning back in his chair, laughing silently as he and Alfie high-fived. It hurt because he was happy. It hurt because she loved him. And it hurt because she had seen the image so many times. She stood suddenly, and Jerome's eyes, Jerome's eyes only, flickered up to hers, his blue eyes wide and searching. She turned away from him. "Can I go to the bathroom?" she whispered.

Mrs Andrews watched her, slightly alarmed, before nodding.

Mara literally ran from the room.

Line Break

Memories. You can remember the happiest times, the worst times, the unforgettable times. Well Mara Jaffray found she had too many, too many of Jerome Clarke. She couldn't even remember when he had first invaded her thoughts. It seemed now, like he had always been a part of her life, and now, she was just being cut off? He was like a drug. And she wasn't sure if it was a good or bad one. All she knew was that she couldn't live without him.

She remembers:

Him pumping her heart for her, crying for her while she died. She could hear his voice as she slowly slipped away from consciousness.

Breaking up with Tristan for him, remembering the sad look on his face before Tristan took her away and she realised, she should have broken up with him in a public place.

Helping Jerome train for swimming, seeing him at the restaurant with…Cindy, or Mindy….

She frowned, looking at herself in the mirror in the girls bathroom, trying to pin point the exact moment she had fallen in love with him. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, going back in her brilliant mind, when she found it. Her eyes flashed open and she gasped, and despite her best efforts, the memory played itself again in her mind:

"What were you doing?" he asked as they were set to answer the questions, the quiet murmur filled the classroom, but Mrs Andrews was too busy marking.

"I was helping your sister, actually." She frowned, tapping the pen against her chin "Did you know she's dating Eddie?"

"Yeah," Jerome sighed, running a hand through his hair "Just another thing to add stress to my life,"

"You? Stress?" Mara laughed "Oh come on Jerome, just this morning I found you, not doing your homework because you and Alfie needed 'jam time'"

"Still," Jerome frowned "I don't like it," Mara smiled at him sadly, and crossed her arms

"Don't worry about it, Eddie's a nice guy. And I don't think that relationship is going to last too long anyway,"

Jerome nodded, and turned to her "It's annoying when a relationship is cut short, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Mara nodded "People should know when someone is perfect for them, and when they are together…it should just be perfect," she sounded like a five year old girl again, dreaming of her prince to come and rescue her. But of course Mara didn't see that her prince was sat right next to her

"Mara," Jerome whispered, trying to catch her attention again from drifting back to the questions on the sheets "I…I wanted to tell you…I…"

"Yes?" she urged gently

"I love you," he choked out. Mara froze, watching him in utter shock

"You promised," she accused. Jerome looked down at his hands, nervous for one of the first time in his life.

"You were meant to say you loved me back," he accused quietly. Immediately Mara felt bad and she grabbed his hand, holding it tightly. He had put himself out there, laid out all his cards right in front of her, his last play. She realised. This was it, Jerome Clarke had put it all out there for her, this was his last chance, his last real shot, and she had just turned it down. This had been her decision, and she had just turned it down.

"I do love you, Jerome." She whispered, ducking her head so she could look into his eyes "So much, but-"

"As a friend?" Jerome finished nodding, clenching his teeth "I get that, Mara. I just figured you might…I don't know, I thought you might change your mind for…for…me. Stupid, I know,"

Mara's eyes widened, and suddenly everything clicked into place. Jerome's kindness, just for her. Jerome's generosity, just for her. Jerome's kind and caring and gentle side. How he came to her whenever she needed it, how whenever she did something stupid, he would be right behind her, to pick her back up and set her straight. All the times they'd had lunch together, walked together, talked together. How he let her in, and let her help him, and he made her feel special and warm and …and loved.

He loved her.

It hit her like a brick that had come out of nowhere.

He loved her. He really loved her.

Mara's mind was spinning out of control.

"Jerome," she pressed quietly, so no one could hear but him. "I don't think you get it, I love you. As in I really do love you,"

Jerome looked up at her, wide eyed, blue sparkling gems piercing into her heart "Y-you…do?"

Mara pressed her lips together and nodded, she couldn't quite believe it either "I love you," Jerome smiled wildly, out of pure relief and joy. She loved him, oh god, she loved him back

(by the way this memory is from chapter 40, at the end)

Mara started crying. She leaned against the basin, looking down at the ground. How could she not love him anymore? That was it. Mara had to talk to him. She walked out of the bathroom, head held high.

Line Break

Jerome dried his face with a towel, admiring his hair in the mirror. He slid on his red shirt, slowly buttoning it up, it went well with his dark jeans. He walked out of the bathroom and almost jumped. The Jerome Clarke almost jumped. Sat on his bed was Mara.

His eyebrows rose "Um…I think you may have the wrong room,"

Mara swallowed, looking up at him "I want to talk."

Jerome's jaw locked. He couldn't afford to talk, talk and he might crack, might get back together with her. Might put himself first, well Jerome Clarke was not going to be selfish. "No."

"Jer-"

"I said no." he ground out, looking down at her "I don't understand what you can't get! Come on Mara! You're clever! I don't love you! I don't want to talk to you! I want you to leave me alone! Get out of my room!"

Mara stood, but she didn't shake "Why?" she challenged

Jerome ran his hands through his hair frustrated "I just don't." he sighed, shoulders slumping "I-"

He was cut off, because Mara Jaffray's lips had been pushed forcefully on to his. He rose his hands to push her off him….but he couldn't. It went against every fabric of his nature, to push away Mara Jaffray, it went against instinct. So he held her closer, kissed her harder, trying to close any gaps between them.

It was a kiss.

Mara stepped back, panting, as Jerome watched her, dazed. "I love you." She stated "And I'm not ashamed of it. I will always love you. And I know…somewhere, you love me too. I don't know what I did, b-"

"Wait." Jerome interrupted "You think you've done something?" he shook his head violently "You've done absolutely nothing wrong Mara, this is seriously all me."

"What?"

"I…What if I do say I love you? And we start dating again? Then we get married, have kids, buy a house…but then I die of old age….you'd kill yourself. I wouldn't want that for you,"

Mara frowned "How on earth can you tell that's what's gonna happen?"

"I…I just know."

Mara licked her lips "What if you're wrong? What if I died first?"

"But you don't!"

"You're killing me now," Mara whispered, shaking her head and stepping towards him "Isn't it enough that I love you now? I want to be with you?"

"I want you to be happy," he managed weekly.

"I am happy." She insisted, wrapping her arms around his neck "Like this," and she tiptoed, kissing him softly. And although whenever she touched him, Jerome's mind went off into a complete daze where he couldn't think straight…this time, he couldn't help but wonder….

Was he doing the right thing?

REVIEW

What would you do if you were Jerome? You knew the person you loved would suffer for five years, then kill themselves if you got with them, would you be with them anyway?

Just wondering.

X

Next time, we hear from Poppy!