A/N: I'm back with chapter 54! We've got everything in this chapter-drama, love, heartache, uncertainty, fun, and a whole lot of laughs. I've got an interesting mix of James/Lily, Sirius/Riley, and even some Remus/Jillian so I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling and therefore own very little in this story. You should know what she owns and what I own. And if you don't, then go ahead and reread the Harry Potter books!


Kisses on the Balcony

By ByeByeBirdie

Chapter 54: Of Public Places, Gifts, & Cockroaches


Riley didn't know how long they had been standing on that balcony with their arms wrapped around each other, but she was slightly heartbroken when she felt him loosen his grasp around her and take a step back.

His heart was racing as he stared into her bright blue eyes. "Make a decision," he pleaded, brushing a stray hair from her face. "Whatever you do, I'll support it. I'm always going to be here for you. That'll never change."

His voice was soft, filled with desperation and she felt her bottom lip tremble guiltily. "I don't know what to do, Sirius," she murmured.

Sirius nodded slowly, not surprised by that. He instinctively reached for her again, drawing her into his arms. He wrapped his arms tightly around her shoulders and buried his lips in her hair. He felt his heart constrict at the thought that come a week, he may not have the ability to hold her so close to him anymore. He swallowed hard.

Riley couldn't stand the quiet. She eventually spoke up. "I wrote a pro-con list," she admitted.

Sirius froze, stepping out of her grasp. His eyebrows shot up. "You talked to Lily?"

Every other time, Riley would have been amused at the assumption. But this wasn't every other time. "Sorta."

He didn't question it further. "Well, what did the pro-con list tell you?"

Her heart skipped a beat. "Honestly?"

He nodded.

"There was a long list of pros and a very short list of cons," she said softly, hanging her head shamefully.

Sirius' heart skipped a beat. He tried catching his breath. "Oh." He was beginning to sound slightly pathetic.

She glanced up at him and saw futility and disappointment staring back at her. And she knew in that moment what she had to do. She took his hand in hers and he was surprised to see that there was a smile creeping up on her face. "But the list tells me not to go."

He furrowed his brow, confused. "What?"

She leaned over and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him lightly. He didn't kiss her back, too puzzled to respond. She smiled sadly. "Sure, there are about a million reasons for me to go, Sirius, but the one reason I have to stay is you," she explained. "And that's worth a million times more than any reason I can think of to go. Because it's these moments right here, these simple moments where you're just holding on to me, that I can't imagine leaving behind."

"So...you're not going to go?" he asked, bewilderment resting in his voice.

She offered him a sad smile before shaking her head. "We've already lost so much time, Sirius," she explained, her voice desperate and vulnerable. "I don't want to be the reason we lose any more time together."

"Riley..."

"I don't want to lose you," she whispered.

"You could never lose me," he quickly argued, shaking his head. "But I don't want you to give up your lifelong dream for me."

"Well, I have a new dream," she said softly. "And it includes you and me together. Which would be quite difficult if I'm in Australia."

He cracked a smile. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," she urged. "It took me a long time to realize what I want, but what I want is you and only you."

He still wasn't convinced. "Really?"

"Stop questioning it," she said with a laugh.

"I want to make sure it's what you really want, Riley," he said, his voice strained with desperation.

"Do you want me to stay or not?" she chuckled, wrapping her arms tighter around his neck.

Sirius hesitated, words of reason on the tip of his tongue. Of course he wanted her to stay. He wanted nothing more than to be with her all the time. But he knew how much she wanted to be a journalist and one of the most prestigious wizarding newspapers was offering her a once in a lifetime chance to fulfill her dream.

He could have reminded her of this, but he didn't. He simply leaned over and pressed his lips hastily to hers. Just because she wasn't going to Australia didn't mean she couldn't be a journalist elsewhere. Preferably somewhere in London. Near him. It might have been selfish of him to want that, but it wasn't as if he had made the decision for her. She was the one who told him she didn't want to go. She was the one choosing him over journalism. That was a huge leap for her. For them. He wasn't going to fight that. Not after he spent so many weeks fighting for her.

"I think we both know the answer to that," he whispered eventually, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling in his stomach.

She smiled and responded by kissing him. He pressed her hard against the balcony banister as his hands made a raid towards her tangled hair. Their kisses were slow yet fierce, their lips igniting an overwhelming lust for each other. They repeatedly had to break apart to catch their breaths. To even remember to breathe. There was no one else in the world but the two of them, the still of the night reminding them that they were probably the only two people awake at Hogwarts. She pulled away slightly to gaze at him. Really gaze at him, her look hard and yet affectionate. Sirius playfully nipped at the spot below her ear and she smiled at the warm touch. She kissed him again, her hand reaching out to grasp his as if she never wanted to let go. And Sirius knew that he never wanted to let her go either.


Remus was massaging his neck the next morning, wondering why he thought sleeping on the hard floor would be a good idea. He had woken up early, before any of his friends, and had toyed with the thought of staying and waiting for his friends to all rouse or slipping off to breakfast on his own. He decided on the latter, choosing to use the quiet of that early morning to gather his jumbled thoughts. There weren't many other students in the Great Hall to no surprise to Remus. Most likely they were all still recovering from late-night adventures and long chats with their roommates and using that morning to sleep in, and Remus was grateful for that. He was in no mood to be around anyone else at that moment, using that time to reflect on his stupidity from the night before.

He was trying to figure out what he could possibly say to Jillian if she attacked him about the happenings of the previous night when another presence slipped into the bench across from him. He was surprised to see that it was Sirius.

Remus quirked an eyebrow, slightly curious where Riley was. "I thought sleeping in was your favorite pastime."

Sirius shrugged curtly as he filled a plate with scrambled eggs and sausage. "Couldn't sleep." He had heard Remus climb off the floor and head out of the Gryffindor house and while Sirius' initial intentions were to drift back to sleep, he suddenly found himself very awake. And he knew he could use some time to think, time away from Riley.

Remus furrowed his brow curiously, sensing distress in his voice. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. It actually couldn't be better," Sirius murmured, forcing a smile out. He took a bite out of his eggs, chewing them slowly as he thought back to the conversation he had with Riley only a few hours earlier. He dropped his fork to his plate and sighed, gazing up at Remus who was staring back at him curiously. "Riley got offered one of the Daily Australian Record fellowship positions."

Remus' mouth dropped open in shock. "Wow, good for her!" he said in awe. "That's one hell of a prestigious fellowship."

"She's not taking it," Sirius blurted out.

Remus cocked his head to the side, seeing the guilt on his friend's face. "Why wouldn't she take it?" he asked hesitantly.

Sirius gave his friend a look. "Don't ask a question you already know the answer to," he murmured.

Remus offered him an apologetic, lopsided smile. "It's pretty notable that she's choosing you over journalism."

"Yes, it has been noted," Sirius said dryly, sighing.

Remus sensed hesitance and discomfort in Sirius' voice and demeanor. It was clear Sirius didn't want to talk about it but it was also clear that he probably needed to. "What's going on, Sirius? Do you want her to go?"

"No," Sirius replied firmly, glaring at him. "Why the hell would I want my girlfriend to move halfway around the world?"

Remus winced apologetically. "Maybe 'want' wasn't the best word."

Sirius sighed, rubbing his temples. "Do I want her to go? No," he repeated slowly. He swallowed hard, picking up his fork again and stabbing his eggs. "Do I think she should go?" He didn't actually answer the question, but Remus knew that Sirius didn't utter the word because he was too afraid of facing the reality of the situation.

"Sirius…" Remus said in a soft voice.

He stared at his plate pensively. "She'd have to be in Australia next Saturday."

Remus grimaced, patting Sirius on the shoulder for lack of anything better to do.

Sirius let out a soft sigh, moving the eggs on his plate around with his fork. He couldn't remember the last time he wasn't hungry, but the food in front of him didn't look terribly appetizing at that moment. "We just got back together a little over a month ago," he murmured. "I can't let her slip away from me again, Remus. I just can't. Aren't I allowed to be a tad selfish?" he whispered. "After everything that Riley and I have been through, I think I'm entitled to that."

Remus nodded slowly, understanding his thought process. He smiled lopsidedly. "I know."

Sirius whipped his head up. "You know?"

"Yeah," Remus repeated with an awkward shrug. "Why should you have to let her go now when for so long you struggled to hold on to her? Why shouldn't you be stubborn now when she felt so desperate and determined to be stubborn for weeks? Why should you lose any more time with her when you already lost so much?"

Sirius' eyes narrowed hesitantly. "But?"

Remus wasn't surprised that Sirius saw right through him. He locked eyes with Sirius and saw a cold, submissive look staring back at him. "Do you think that maybe, just maybe, this time it isn't about you? That maybe it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her?"

Sirius pursed his lips tightly. "What do you mean?"

Remus fell silent, busying himself with a sip of orange juice before turning his gaze back on Sirius. "I'm not saying she doesn't want to be with you. I'm just wondering if perhaps this is Riley's way of taking the easy way out like she always does. She doesn't exactly revel in change," he murmured. "But journalism has been a dream of hers since I had met her back as an eleven-year-old. And the DAR isn't just some random newspaper. It's one of the most prestigious wizarding newspapers in our world. That fellowship is only offered to two people and she was just chosen as one of those two. One hell of an opportunity was just presented to her, yet she's not going to take it? I think she's scared if you ask me."

"I didn't ask you," Sirius retorted hollowly.

"I know," Remus agreed. "Because I think you already know all this."

Sirius turned away with a sigh, nodding. Riley had always followed the path that was easy and uncomplicated. It explained why she had always been so hesitant to date Sirius. And Sirius had fought through her stubbornness and her desperate need to keep her life simple then, so why should this be any different?

He sighed. Because this time it was taking her away from him and not pushing her towards him. "Yeah," he murmured. "I do."

Sirius was grateful that the Owl Post arrived at that moment, wanting to get his mind off of Riley for once. A Ministry owl came flying towards them, dropping off James' Daily Prophet. Sirius unraveled it, earning a lifted eyebrow from Remus.

"Don't tell me you're going to read that," Remus said with a cheeky grin on his face.

Sirius gave him a look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"When was the last time you picked up a newspaper to read willingly?" Remus joked.

Sirius frowned. "There's always a first time for everything."

Remus cringed, realizing that Sirius needed a distraction from Riley.

"Oh, shit." Sirius' eyes were wide as he stared in horror at the headline.

Remus leaned over the table immediately and followed Sirius' eyes to the front of the paper. "Another attack," he muttered, shaking his head.

"A big one," Sirius muttered. They both fell silent as Sirius skimmed over the article, his heart breaking with every word he read. "A Muggle attack in Italy."

"Oh, jeez. How many?" Remus asked.

Sirius paused. "Eight deaths already accounted for."

Remus sighed, rubbing his temples. "Was this Voldemort?"

"By way of his minions," Sirius snorted, referring to the Death Eaters.

"Why Muggles?" Remus groaned. "Why is it that when some plan of their goes terribly wrong they take it out on poor, innocent people?"

"What do you think went wrong this time?"

Remus shrugged. "I don't know. But…" he trailed off, reaching for a scone to distract him from his thoughts.

"But what?" Sirius urged, sensing discomfort in his friend's demeanor.

Remus nibbled on the scone hesitantly before placing it back down on his plate. "I just hope it wasn't a diversion for something else awful. I don't want what happened to the Potters to happen to another family."

Sirius frowned, his heart skipping a beat. He had momentarily forgotten that while Brite and his fellow Aurors and recruits were being attacked, the rest of the wizarding world was attending the funerals of the French Minister of Magic's family. "Well, shit," Sirius repeated. He peeked a glance over at the Slytherins who looked a bit too smug for his taste.

"Except I'm afraid this might be worse," Remus muttered. "This sounds a lot like the Executioner all over again."

"Who?"

"You remember Voldemort's right-hand man about seven years ago? It was right before Wyatt disappeared, I think," Remus said, pondering the past. "Giovanni something or rather. Farvello? Fevriello? Otherwise dubbed as the Executioner. Lived a double life. Killed for pleasure and then went home to his wife, his daughter, and his son as if he wasn't a mass murderer. Until one day it all seemed to catch up with him. He went crazy. In the middle of the night, he killed his wife and son and-"

"Then attacked the nearest Muggle town," Sirius finished, sighing. "I unfortunately remember. Whatever happened to him? Azkaban?"

"No," Remus argued. "After about the thirtieth Muggle death, Aurors finally caught up to him and had no choice but to kill him. It took ten Aurors to take him down I think."

"Jeez," Sirius murmured.

Remus could only nod as they both reflected on the past tragedies that had struck the wizarding world.

Sirius glanced back down at the article. "Why are there so many bad wizards out there?"

Remus shrugged, his own eyes lingering over at the Slytherin table. "Who knows?" he murmured. "Born into bad families, I guess."

"No," Sirius argued immediately, shaking his head. "Not everyone born into a bad family turns bad." He stabbed his fork into the sausage on his plate, gritting his teeth.

Remus grimaced, reaching over and grabbing Sirius' fork before he stabbed something other than food. "Sorry, Sirius," he said genuinely. "I wasn't thinking. I-"

"It's no big deal," Sirius murmured, crossing his arms.

Remus knew he was lying. He gazed over at Sirius sympathetically, who was trying very hard to ignore eye contact with Remus. "I'm sorry that you're always going to be associated with the Black family," Remus eventually said.

Sirius shrugged. "Maybe whoever I marry, I'll just take their name."

It was his lame attempt at a joke and Remus couldn't help snicker. "You'd have to actually marry for that to happen."

Sirius swore. "I knew there was a catch."

Remus cracked a smile and Sirius followed suit, but the awkwardness was still lingering. Silence fell between them as they consumed their breakfast, both glancing up at each other every few minutes without bothering to say a word.

Sirius finished off his plate and slowly rested his fork down on it carefully. "You know what's weird?"

Remus was startled by the break in silence. "What?"

"If I had never defied my parents and their world and actually accepted the burdening status of being a Black," Sirius murmured hesitantly, gazing upward at his friend, "I wouldn't be going off to my uncle's lakehouse tomorrow with people who I never would have befriended. No, I'd be traipsing off to whatever Death Eater's Manor hosts You-Know-Who and be trained to be a skilled murderer. I could have one day been…well, the Executioner."

There was a hint of panic and angst in Sirius' voice and Remus placed his hand on Sirius' arm. "But you're not that guy," Remus argued firmly. "You did defy your parents and you did defy the world of Dark Arts. You're better than the person you could have become, Sirius." Remus pursed his lips, glancing over to where Bellatrix and Narcissa sat. He jabbed his thumb in their direction. "You're better than them."

"I hope so," he muttered.

"No, there's no hope about it," Remus argued immediately. "You are better than them."

A hint of red tinted his cheeks. "Maybe," Sirius said with a shrug. "Although to be perfectly honest, my life may have been easier. My future and my fate would have been chosen for me."

Remus scoffed, glaring at his friend. "Don't you dare think about the what-ifs and the could-have-beens. Don't start feeling sorry for yourself now, Sirius."

He furrowed his brow, remaining mute.

"This isn't about not having a job or your uncle's lakehouse or You-Know-Who or the Executioner or this unfortunate article," Remus argued, balling up the Daily Prophet and tossing it to the side. "This is about Riley."

Sirius cringed.

"You know that you might have to let her go and you don't want to do it. So you're instead getting inside your head and wondering what would have happened if you had never fallen in love with her. You're wondering if your life would have been easier without her even if that life would have consisted of you being a Slytherin and a Death Eater."

His words were crammed with understanding and determination, and Sirius felt slightly ashamed. Remus was right. Sirius was pitying himself because that was easier than facing the truth.

"But, Sirius," Remus said softly. "Can you really imagine what your life would have been without her?"

Sirius hesitated before shaking his head. "I might as well start imagining it," he murmured with a lofty sigh.

Remus' eyebrow shot up. "Oh?"

Sirius slowly turned to meet the curious gaze of his friend. "She has to go to Australia, doesn't she." It wasn't a question.

Remus winced, a lopsided smile spreading across his expression. "I can't tell you what to do, Sirius," he said. "Only you can figure that out."

Sirius felt his bottom lip tremble. "I hope you know, Remus, that I didn't ask her to choose me," he said softly.

"I know," Remus admitted. "But you also didn't ask her not to choose you."

Sirius said nothing, finding a sudden interest in the grain of the table, thoughts of his relationship with Riley flashing through his mind. "I don't know if I can do that," Sirius murmured, his voice hoarse and full of vulnerability as he slumped down on the bench.

Remus offered him a curt shrug. "You can," he urged. "You might not want to, but you can."

Sirius didn't respond, but he didn't have to. Truth was, he knew that Riley deserved the chance to go. She was an amazing writer and the DAR would only make her a better writer. She deserved to follow her dreams and he knew that he couldn't hold her back. It wouldn't be fair to her. And it wouldn't be fair to him. Because every day they would spend together, he'd constantly be thinking that she had given up her dream for him. And he didn't know if he could live with that. He'd be too afraid she'd one day regret her decision and end up blaming him.

She had the opportunity to follow her dreams and he should be encouraging her to do so.

"I hate that you're right," Sirius muttered.

"I hate that I'm right, too," Remus admitted. "Because I think you two truly deserve each other. But…"

"But she also deserves to go to Australia," he muttered.

"She also deserves to go to Australia," Remus repeated, nodding slowly.

And Sirius knew that she needed to know that he would still love her even if she goes to Australia.

A shiver ran down Sirius' spine as he realized that he hadn't followed Remus earlier to get away from Riley. He followed Remus because Sirius knew Remus would give him the advice he needed to hear. Advice he didn't want to hear. But nevertheless, Sirius knew he couldn't just let Riley stay without telling her he would support her decision to go. He knew that he was supposed to have told her that last night; however, he wanted so desperately to believe that Riley's real reason to stay would be for him and not because of her own fears.

But he couldn't pretend anymore. It was time to told Riley what he knew she deserved to hear.


Remus felt like one hell of a hypocrite. He had pretty much pushed Sirius into believing that the best thing for Riley was for her to take the fellowship when in total honesty, he really thought that Sirius should hold on to her as long as possible. Love didn't last; love was fleeting. And the girl that Sirius loved wanted to be with him. The girl that he loved was willing to put her dreams on hold for him. That was a girl worth keeping around because that girl didn't always exist.

And maybe a part of Remus had told Sirius what he did because he didn't want Sirius to be disappointed or hurt when somewhere down the line, something went wrong in his relationship. Maybe Remus was just trying to spare his friend the pain that he was feeling every day since Jillian had walked away from him.

Eventually, the others had joined Remus and Sirius at breakfast. They all discussed the unfortunate Muggle killings, James trying hard not to think about Brite the whole time. After breakfast, they had all gone their separate ways and Remus was no different. He wandered the halls alone trying hard not to let the guilt from the previous night overwhelm him. He ended up on the grounds out by the willow tree beside the lake, one of the Marauders' popular hang-out spots over the years. The sky was gray and a storm cloud was headed their way. While it was a sad way to finish one of the last days at Hogwarts, it depicted his mood perfectly.

He was so deep in thought, he hadn't realized that someone had come up behind until she was sitting down beside him.

Remus tensed. "What are you doing here?"

Jillian didn't offer him an answer immediately. Truth was, she didn't know why she was there. "I saw you walk over here and..." she trailed off with a curt shrug. "And I followed."

"Why?"

Her eyes narrowed. "I think you know," she growled.

Remus shut his eyes tightly, not in the mood for a lecture. He already felt bad about it. He didn't need Jillian scolding him. "Jillian," he started, but she didn't let him get in a word.

"How dare you?" she seethed, glaring at him. "How dare you sleep with my roommate? My friend!"

Remus shook his head in disbelief, pursing his lips angrily. He was expecting this, but wasn't in the mood. "You don't get to scold me, Jillian. And you certainly don't get to tell me who or who not to sleep with. You broke up with me, remember?" he scowled. "For a reason I'm not entirely sure I understand. But whatever the reason is it doesn't matter. The fact is that we're not together anymore and I can do whatever the hell I want, which includes sleeping with whoever I want. And you don't get to make me feel guilty about that."

She cocked her head to the side curiously. "Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Feel guilty about sleeping with Evelyn," she murmured, blushing.

He stared at her coldly, his eyes clearly filled with agony and a mixture of irritation and sadness. "No."

She knew he was lying but it still stung. The fact that he wanted to intentionally hurt her made her feel that much worse. Because even though she knew that she had hurt him in the past, it was never intentional. She swallowed hard. "You're such a jackass, Remus," she murmured. "Everyone thinks you're this moral, upstanding guy and it turns out you're a player just like your two buddies used to be. Ironically, now they're the ones in committed relationships and you're the one sleeping around."

"Not by choice, Jillian," Remus snapped. "I'd rather be the one in a committed relationship but the girl I want to be with doesn't want to be with me."

Jillian's stomach tightened and she winced guiltily.

Remus turned his gaze away from her, anger spewing from his eyes. "Did you ever think that my one-time ordeal with Evelyn was my attempt at moving on from you? My way of trying to let you go?" he scowled. He swallowed hard, murmuring in a hurt whisper, "You broke my heart, Jillian. I was in love with you and when I told you that, you walked away and left me in that hallway all alone. So I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way, I really am. Because I know a little thing or two about feeling betrayed."

She hung her head shamefully, tears welling up in her eyes. She quickly wiped them away.

Remus sighed when she didn't bother to respond. He ran his fingers through his hair haggardly and dared to ask the one question he felt so desperate to find an answer to. "Why'd you really do it, Jillian?"

She swallowed hard and continued to remain mute. She had come out here to scold him for sleeping with her friend and now she was the one feeling guilty. How did things get turned around on her all of a sudden?

He pursed his lips, a scowl burying in his throat. He was becoming increasingly discouraged by her lack of words. "We had one fight, Jillian," he said firmly, enunciating his words with anguish. "One fight and you bailed. Couples are allowed to have disagreements, y'know. It's what shapes them as a couple. But you just gave up on us. And I can't for the life of me figure out what I did to deserve that."

"I gave you a reason," she responded. "It's not my fault you don't like that reason. I meant every word of what I said, Remus, so don't patronize me."

"I'm not saying that you didn't mean it," he scolded. "I'm saying I think there was more to it."

"There wasn't," she retorted immediately, clenching her teeth defensively.

He quickly turned away from her, grabbing a pebble from the ground and chucking it into the lake. "Then why the hell are you here?" he grunted. "You shouldn't care about what I do and who I do it with. You shouldn't have cared enough about me to seek me out. You should instead be shooting darts at a photo of my face and trashing me to your friends. But you're not doing that. Instead, you're talking to me. Because you wanted to talk to me." He gazed at her, quirking a hopeful eyebrow.

"What makes you think I didn't already shoot darts at a picture of your face? What makes you think I didn't already trash you to my friends?" she growled. She slowly stood up, brushing the stray pieces of grass from her bare legs. "I simply came here to tell you that you're a jackass for what you did last night. And I'm not going to sit here and listen to you accuse me of-"

"Then go!" Remus cried out, discouraged. He could tell that she was afraid a part of him might be right which was why she was, once again, scurrying off. And if her answer to everything was to run then maybe he was better off without her. "You did what you came here to do. You told me I was a jackass. So just leave. I didn't ask you to come here, Jillian! I certainly didn't ask you to insult me and call me names. I'm sorry for making an error in judgment last night, but that doesn't give you the right to yell at me! Perhaps we were better off not talking at all."

"You slept with my friend! You told me you loved me just a few weeks ago and then you went off and slept with my friend! How did I get turned into the bad guy here?" she growled, her fists curling up tightly. She tried blinking back the tears prickling in her eyes. "You don't get to be the one screaming at me, Remus. I'm the one who gets to be angry. I'm the one who gets to yell at you and I'm the one who gets to feel hurt, Remus."

"I wouldn't have been with her if you didn't break up with me in the first place!" Remus growled.

"Oh, so now this is my fault?" she snorted, laughing cynically.

He offered her a curt shrug, sighing. He didn't want to sound like he was blaming her because even though he would like to place all of the blame on her, it had been his doing. "What do you want from me, Jillian?" he grunted solemnly, shaking his head. "Do you want me to tell you that I hated doing it? That I hate myself for hurting you? Do you want me to tell you that it was a mistake and that I never should have even considered Evelyn's offer? Do you want me to tell you that I feel guilty? Do you want me to tell you that I thought of you the entire time? That I had wished it was you? Do you want me to tell you that I miss you every single day and I hate that we broke up? Do you want me to tell you that…" he trailed off, his words catching in his throat.

He turned to look at her slowly, a hint of regret glimmering in the back of his eyes. "Do you want me to tell you that I still love you, Jilly?"

She was staring at him, wide-eyed and mouth half-open in shock, sensing a true weight of vulnerability behind every one of his words. A pang of longing surged through her heart at the nickname. No one's ever called her Jilly before Remus and she loved the way it sounded rolling off his tongue. It sounded intimate, doting even. And she missed that feeling of comfort and security she had had with Remus. Her heart was beating a mile a minute as she realized that he really did still love her. She slowly slid back towards the ground, her legs shaking too much to hold her up.

Neither said anything for a while, not knowing what to say. They both let their gaze linger on the scenery laid out before them, Remus knowing it was one of the last times he could appreciate it with graduation on the immediate horizon.

"You really still love me? Even after I broke up with you?" Jillian asked softly, her voice barely audible over the cool breeze.

He looked up at her, nodding hesitantly. "How could I not be in love with-" But the end of his sentence was cut short by Jillian reaching over and kissing him without warning. And suddenly he was kissing her back. Her lips felt so familiar to him, so right. He drew her to him tightly, his hand smoothing down the curve of her back. She pulled back, gasping for air, as Remus' lips made a hungry raid down her jawline towards her neck.

She eventually pulled back, gasping for breath. She didn't say anything and Remus was grateful for that.

"What was that for?" Remus said lamely.

She quirked a suggestive eyebrow. "Does it matter?"

It did, but she was giving him a very seductive look that he didn't care. He had missed kissing her and if she was going to throw herself at him, he was going to accept it. So he quickly shook his head and pressed his lips firmly to hers. She shut her eyes and parted her mouth gently as Remus pressed his lips to hers, a fiery passion igniting from within the both of them. She melted into his touch and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, drawing him closer to her as their lips moved as one. His kisses became more rapid and hungry and she moved her hands to his chest as his lips found their way to her neck. She let out a guttural moan from deep in her throat and he smiled, wishing to hear that sound again from her. He placed his hands on her cheeks and moved his mouth back to hers, kissing her wildly like she deserved. He gladly let his tongue slide into her mouth hungrily. His lips didn't stray from hers as she leaned back until she was lying flat on the cool grass, pulling him on top of her.

"Jillian," he whispered, kissing her ear. "You do know that we're in a public place."

She blushed. She had been so engrossed with him that she had indeed forgotten she was outside where other students were scattering the grounds. She glanced around and was grateful that the other students out on the grounds seemed engrossed in their own worlds. "Well, we should change that immediately," she muttered.

He frowned. Something felt so right about that moment and yet there was still a hesitation lingering in the back of Remus' head that reminded him he still didn't know the truth behind Jillian's reasons for breaking up with him. Just like Sirius had suspected, Remus knew there was more to her story she had been unwilling to divulge.

"I-I don't know if that's a good idea," he suggested.

She cocked her head to the side curiously. "I want to make love to you, Remus."

He froze, his yes growing side. "Er...what?"

She chuckled, leaning over to kiss him. "You heard me," she whispered.

He frowned slightly, slowly climbing off of her and turning his gaze away from her. "Jillian," he said hesitantly, but the words were caught in his throat.

"Look, don't give me a speech about how you weren't pressuring me into it and you don't expect anything from me except me, yada, yada, blah, blah. I want to be with you, Remus. And I mean really be with you."

His heart skipped a beat and he didn't dare look her in the eye. "I wasn't going to give you a speech," he murmured. "I was going to say that I think I should go."

She froze, completely taken aback by his words. She stared at him in shock. "What?" she croaked out.

"I…I'm sorry, Jillian, but I can't do this," he muttered, hanging his head guiltily. He tore his eyes away from her, sensing a feeling of betrayal.

She was humiliated and her eyes blazed with anger. She quickly scrambled away from him, jumping up off the grass. "So you'll have random sex with my roommate, a girl you could not care less about, but when I offer myself to you minute after you just told me you still loved me, you refuse?" she spat out in a hurt whisper. "You really are the biggest jackass of all time." She wanted nothing more than to hex him but she held her head up high and started storming off.

He raced after her, grabbing her arm. "No, Jillian, wait," he pleaded.

When she whirled around he could see the tears streaming down her face. "Is this some sort of payback?" she whispered, her voice rough and vulnerable. "I broke up with you so now you taunt me and then kick me when I'm down?"

Remus gave her a look, softened with guilt. He opened his mouth to try and explain himself and found it difficult to find the right words. He felt her stare on him so he dithered, "It's not like that," he pleaded. "Yes, I still love you, but nothing has changed."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I just don't know if I can go back down this road without knowing…" he trailed off.

"Knowing what?" she said desperately.

He gazed up at her, finding himself brushing a few tendrils out of her face nostalgically. "Without knowing what I really did wrong in the first place," he finished firmly.

Jillian's heart fluttered as she sensed desperation in his tone. She was finding it impossible to tear his eyes off of him, as if their eyes were locked together by a subliminal force. She fell silent, crossing her arms guardedly. A shiver ran down her spine and she knew it wasn't due to the cold.

Remus finally looked away and she let out a sigh of fear, realizing for the first time that she needed to stop hiding from her feelings. Remus deserved the truth. She slowly dropped back down towards the grass and Remus followed, sensing her defeat. She reached for his hand instinctively and was grateful when he didn't resist. Jillian thought back to all of the many strolls they took hand-in-hand around the grounds, giggling childishly and stealing kisses in the shade of the trees. Remus brought out the kid in her and she had loved that about him. Even with the scary idea that they were all growing up a little too quickly than they would have preferred, Remus had given her reason to just remain young at heart and live in the present. She had unfortunately taken the extra step and agonized about their future. She had stopped living in the moment. She had stopped letting him make her feel young and spontaneous. She was the one who ended it and she was the one who was so determined to see them fail.

She stared out over the lake, frowning guiltily. "You have to know that it wasn't because I didn't want to be with you, Remus," she whispered, squeezing his hand. "I was just so scared."

"Of what?" Remus asked hoarsely.

She bit down on her bottom lip as her heart skipped a beat. "Of us. Of our future. If we even had a future."

Remus eyes narrowed in confusion. "Jillian, I had told you before that I wanted a future with you."

"I know," she whispered. "You were telling me that you wanted to be with me and you wanted to make it work after graduation."

"But?"

She swallowed hard and turned away from him, blinking back the tears. "But you were also saying it was going to be difficult. You were also saying you had no idea where your future was going to take you. You were also saying that you wished there were some way to know it work out between us. Not that you knew it would work but that you wanted it to. There's a big difference, Remus. And it was that difference that scared me." She sighed, staring up at the cloudy sky with remorse, tears prickling her eyes.

Remus' faced clouded with shock, finding it hard to catch his breath. He knew that when Jillian had broken up with him, she had been hiding something. He just didn't realize she had been thinking about the unpredictability of their future together. "So you made up some excuse to dump me?" he murmured, suddenly feeling betrayed and used. He had told her that he loved her and she still looked him in the eye and said goodbye.

"No," she quickly denied, shaking her head. "I meant what I said. It just wasn't the whole truth."

He gazed at her curiously, wishing for her to explain.

She obliged. "I was afraid that you'd inevitably end up going wherever your friends were going to go and put me second. I'd be here at Hogwarts and you'd be out there with him. I wouldn't get to be with you. They would. And you're going to follow them wherever they go because they're your family," she murmured, dropping his hand from hers and pulling her legs towards her body.

"You could be my family, too," he blurted out desperately.

She slowly turned her head to him, frowning solemnly. "I'd like that, but what if it's not enough? Those guys are practically your entire life, Remus. I wish I had friends like them." She sighed, cracking a smile. "Instead I get friends who hook up with my ex-boyfriend."

He thought it was probably a good sign that she was smiling. "I am sorry about that," he urged.

She nodded. "I know."

He said nothing more, thinking back to what she said. It killed him to know that she was probably right. The Marauders were his family. They always had been far before Jillian had come along. He loved her but love wasn't always enough. Love was what tore James' father from his family. Love had Remus' parents pushing him away because of their guilt. Love was Sirius needing to tell Riley to go to Australia. Love was James and Lily struggling to let each other in. Love wasn't easy.

"I want to tell you that I'd choose you every time," Remus whispered, reaching over to squeeze Jillian's hand. "But the future is unpredictable. I don't know what to expect from it. All I know is that I want you in it."

She looked up at him, shocked. "You do?"

He chuckled. "You don't think I do?"

"Well you did just turn down sex from me, so it's not completely out of the question."

He couldn't help but laugh, the smile on her face teasing him. "Believe me when I say that turning you down isn't what I really wanted to do," he murmured. "I just…"

"What?" she asked when he trailed off.

He sighed. "I didn't want to lead you on, because…"

"Because?" Jillian croaked.

"Because I have no idea where we stand," he admitted

She swallowed hard. "Well, neither do I."

"There lies in the problem," he muttered, shaking his head solemnly. "If we get back together, how am I supposed to know that you're not going to get scared again and run off? How am I supposed to know that you won't break my heart again? It wasn't easy letting you go the first time and I don't think I can handle it again."

She nodded slowly, squeezing her knees tightly to her body. "You have no reason to trust me," she whispered. "You're right. You're probably better off without me. I don't deserve your forgiveness. And if you get up and walk away from us for good, I wouldn't blame you."

A lump was beginning to form in Remus' throat. He had spent so many weeks agonizing over their break-up and wishing he could just have her back. And now that that opportunity was presenting itself, he was contemplating turning her down. Had he really wanted to be with Jillian? Or had it just been closure he was so desperate for?

"But before you do," Jillian interrupted his thoughts slowly, her words being carefully articulated, "I just need you to know something."

Remus nodded instinctively.

She smiled, placing the palm of her hand on his cheek. "I love you, Remus."

Remus froze, his eyes locking with hers immediately.

"I've loved you for a long time. And if you do get up and walk away, I'll probably still love you for a long time," she whispered. "When you told me you loved me, I should have said it back. I wanted to say it back. But I let my fears take over. I thought it was better for the both of us if we went our separate ways."

Remus was staring at her with a look of bewilderment and awe, and she wasn't sure whether to take that as a good thing or a bad thing. But she figured that he had laid his heart on the line for her and it was time for her to return the favor. "But I was wrong. I've been miserable without you and it took a while for me to realize that I need you in my life. I don't know what to expect from our future, Remus, but maybe that's okay. Because we can figure it out together."

She gazed up at him slowly and swallowed hard. "I know that I said before that love isn't always enough," she whispered, biting down on her bottom lip vulnerably. "But I really hope you'll help prove me wrong."

Remus finally spoke. "You really love me?" he croaked.

She cracked a smile, nodding. "I really do."

He wasted no time in kissing her. He tangled his hands in her hair as she wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him close to her. She dangled her legs over his lap as he made a lustful raid towards her jawline, leading his lips towards her neck as she gasped for breath.

"Haven't we already pointed out this is a public place?" she whispered hungrily.

He pulled his lips away from her and immediately jumped up from the grounds. "Let's go back to my room. No one should be there."

She quirked a playful eyebrow. "Your room, hm? What kind of girl do you think I am?"

He hesitated, furrowing his brow. "Er…"

She laughed. "I'm totally kidding. Let's go back to your room."

He extended his hand to her and helped her off the grounds, squeezing it tightly once her two feet were planted on the grass. They quickly headed inside the castle, ignoring everyone else around them. They were the only two people in the world at that moment, rushing through the hallways with cheeky grins. When they couldn't wait to get their hands on each other, they would halt in an empty, dark corridor to snog each other senseless. By the time they reached the Gryffindor common room, they were feeling desperate for more.

Jillian pressed her lips to his firmly right outside his bedroom, pushing him up against the door. Remus fumbled with the doorknob behind him and they both tumbled into his bedroom, their lips united in a fiery passion.

It wasn't until they heard someone clearing their throat behind them did they jump apart from each other.

Remus groaned, furrowing his brow as Jillian blushed furiously, hiding herself embarrassedly behind Remus. "I thought you two were planning on escaping to the dungeons," Remus murmured.

"Yeah, and I thought you two were broken up," Sirius snorted, quirking a curious eyebrow as he glanced back and forth between Remus and Jillian. "So clearly we were all mistaken."

"Get out," Remus said, rolling his eyes.

"This is my room, too!" he whined.

Remus narrowed his eyes at him. "Don't make me hex you."

Riley elbowed Sirius in the ribs, giving him a look. "Can't you see the two recently reunited lovebirds could use some time alone?"

"What about our alone time?" Sirius shot back cheekily. He grinned, glancing amusedly over at Remus and Jillian in the doorway. It was clear that he was just trying to get a rise out of them.

"It's like Remus said," Jillian finally spoke up, flashing both Sirius and Riley a playful grin. "Don't make me hex you, Sirius."

He chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. He reached for his shirt at the end of the bed and threw it on. Truth was, he had intended to drag Riley down to the dungeon earlier in order to talk about the Daily Australian Record fellowship with her, but he had chickened out and instead remained rooted in their bedroom as Peter had been there earlier and he knew he couldn't discuss it with Peter there. Once Peter had left the room, no longer wanting to be the third wheel, Riley had immediately kissed him and within minutes, their clothes had been discarded and they were making love. And Sirius didn't want to ruin that moment. But now that Remus was standing in front of him, Sirius was reminded that Riley deserved to hear his thoughts just like Remus had suggested.

Riley and Sirius finished dressing and climbed out of bed, not nearly fast enough in Remus' and Jillian's minds. "You crazy kids have fun," Sirius teased as he slipped past them. "But not too much. Let's leave the kinkiness to me and Ril—ARGH!" he cried as Remus jokingly shoved him out the door, slamming the door behind him. He ignored the laugh coming from Riley behind the now closed door.

"Now," Remus whispered, running his fingers through Jillian's hair, "where were we?"

She smiled suggestively, quickly lifting her shirt off her body and discarding it to the floor. "I think we were right about here," she whispered, pressing her lips passionately to his.


Sirius was unusually quiet as they took the long walk to the dungeons, taking comfort in the quiet nature of the cold hallways. Riley was smiling, thinking about the impending trip to New York with Sirius. Ever since she had made the decision to stay with Sirius, she couldn't help but continuously think about what her future with Sirius could hold. Sometimes she psyched herself out, wondering if she had made the right decision, but most of the time she didn't have a second thought about it. Once upon a time, being with Sirius would have been the hardest thing for her to do and now she was choosing to be with him. There was a tiny voice inside her head telling her that maybe because being with him was easier than uprooting her life for the unknown, but she quieted that voice by reminding herself she deserved to find out if Sirius was the man she could fall in love with.

Ironically, Sirius was also thinking about the New York trip but probably not in the same way she was. He didn't want to go alone; he wanted Riley by his side. But he knew that he'd be wondering the entire time if Riley was regretting her decision.

Riley nudged Sirius with her arm, giving him a curious look. "You are awfully quiet today. What's up?"

Sirius shook his head. "Just thinking."

Riley quirked an alarmed eyebrow. "Well, no good can come of that."

Sirius cracked a smile, kissing her cheek. His smile wavered slightly, a twinge of guilt surging from within. He wanted to be able to lean over and kiss her whenever he wanted to and that wouldn't be possible if she were 15,000 miles away. He reached for her hand, drawing her close to him as they entered into the stingy dungeon. As far as Sirius knew, no one else had entered that particular dungeon in years. Dust had collected on the candlesticks and cobwebs lined the corners of the walls. The old picture gold frames still mounted the wall but the photos that used to adorn them had long disappeared. That dungeon room had become something of their sanctuary over the months they had been together; they felt safe and comfortable there. Sirius frowned, suddenly feeling guilty that he was considering betraying that setting.

Riley guided them to the floor, squeezing his hand as he clearly was off in his own world. He shook the thoughts from his mind and turned to her, smiling adoringly. "I have something for you," he blurted. "A graduation gift if you will."

She was taken aback. "A gift? For me?"

He chuckled at the startled look on her face. "What, a boyfriend can't give his girlfriend a gift?"

She blushed, shrugging. "I just wasn't expecting it," she explained. "Besides, isn't graduation tomorrow?"

His heart skipped a beat and he nodded slowly. "Yes, but I wanted to give it to you now before..." he trailed off, wincing.

She gazed at him, confused. "Before what?"

He frowned, shaking his head. "Just before everything has to change I guess," he said vaguely.

There was a waver in his voice that made Riley hesitate, narrowing her eyes in confusion. "What has to change?"

He chuckled lightly. "I said I have a gift for you and you're harping on the topic of conversation. You're not like most girls, are you?"

She laughed, squeezing his hand. After all that they have been through, she was so grateful for the couple they had turned into. "Okay, okay," she sniggered, sitting upright as a grin spread across her face. "What is this gift you speak of?"

He smiled and pulled out a small box from his jeans pocket.

It was obvious to Riley that it was some sort of jewelry box which definitely intrigued her. She reached for it and opened it up, her heart skipping a beat as a small, intricate gold locket stared up at her. Riley gazed at the locket in surprise, a flattered smile slowly spreading across her face.

"Open it up," he urged.

She picked it up and opened the heart-shaped locket. She was surprised and yet impressed to see that he had filled the locket with photos of themselves back when there were eleven years old, foolish grins plastered on their faces and eyes filled with such naïve eagerness. "When did you become such a romantic?"

He chuckled and gestured for her to turn around so he could put it on her. She obliged. "You deserve the best, Riley," he explained, kissing the nape of her neck. He pulled back hesitantly, frowning. "But...I can't always give you that."

She glanced behind her shoulder, confused at the strained tone of his voice. "What are you talking about?"

Sirius felt his heart beating wildly out of his chest as he gazed into her eyes. He saw confusion, but her eyes were also filled with tranquility and comfort. He didn't know if he could disrupt that.

His eyes zoomed into the necklace that he had recently bought for her and felt his heart sink. After everything they have been through, he felt like he would be betraying her by giving her such a wonderful gift one minute and then breaking her heart the next. Instead of telling her what was really on his mind, he leaned over and kissed her cheek, shaking his head. "Nothing," he whispered, his voice feeling faint in the dungeon silence. "Just…just know that I love you."

He sighed. He never considered himself to be a coward until that moment.


Remus smiled as he glanced down at the beautiful, naked girl in his bed. He couldn't believe his luck. Just that morning, he was living a miserable life and now he had the girl of his dreams back. He kissed the side of her head and she stirred, pulling the sheets up over her body, shivering slightly. "Hey," she murmured.

"You're so beautiful, Jilly," he whispered, running his fingers lightly up and down her arm.

She smiled, but he could tell it was strained.

"What?" he asked cautiously.

She swallowed hard and locked eyes with him. "Where does this leave us?" she dared to ask.

He hesitated, a warning light going off in his head. He knew he should be afraid of starting their relationship up again and particularly that Jillian seemed to know that she could hold their future in her hands. And he knew that if he really loved her he should spare her the complications that came with being a werewolf's girlfriend. But as he gazed into her eyes, he knew he couldn't let her go again. "I hope that this leaves us with each other," he said, putting it all out on the line. His heart was beating a mile a minute, praying that she would return the affection.

She pulled him in for a kiss, tangling her hands in his hair. "I was hoping you would say that."

He grinned, wrapping his arms tightly around her shoulder and pressed his lips firmly to hers, a fervent spark exploding between them. "I love you, Jilly."

"I love you, Remus."


Gryffindor ended up winning the House Cup by only fifteen points and naturally, all of the Gryffindors spent the end-of-the-year banquet feast as a time to rub their win in the Slytherins' faces.

"Snivellus looks like he's about to explode with anger," James said, as Dumbledore neared the end of his usually speech.

"I could speed up the exploding part," Sirius added with a glint of mystery in his eyes, gesturing towards his wand in his pocket.

Remus smacked Sirius' arm with his own wand. "Oh, put that thing away. Don't give Dumbledore any reason to revoke Gryffindor's win of the House Cup."

Sirius rolled his eyes but did as he said. Since his recent reconciliation with Jillian, Remus' mood had been uplifted immensely. And no one was complaining about it. They had all been incredibly surprised when the two of them showed up to the banquet hand-in-hand but no one questioned it. It might not have been obvious to them, but the rest of them knew that they were meant to be together.

The Great Hall fell silent as Dumbledore's speech came to a sudden halt. Seconds later, a feast of roast turkey, ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, Brussels sprouts, shepherd's pie, beef casserole, steak and kidney pudding, and green beans adorned all of the house tables. Immediately all the students in the Great Hall started shoving food on to their plates.

"It's too bad there aren't any hot dogs at the feast," James murmured as he reached for the potatoes in front of him. "We could really go out with a bang."

"Yeah, instead we have to go the mature and grown-up way," Lily teased, flashing her boyfriend a smile. "What a bummer!"

"I sense your sarcasm and am ignoring it," he retorted, filling his mouth with a spoonful of mashed potatoes.

Lily couldn't help but laugh as she reached over and squeezed his hand. It seemed unreal to her that a year ago, she had sent him angry glares and made a pact to hate him until the end of eternity and here she was, squeezing his hand to show her overwhelming affection towards him. Only a year ago, she had insulted James' lifestyle on the Gryffindor balcony enough to cause him to rudely retaliate, forcing her to get drunk and snog Shane Redford in the middle of the Gryffindor common room. And a year ago, James had taken her by surprise and kissed her on the train platform. Their first kiss. And now she couldn't imagine not being able to kiss him.

"What are you thinking?" James asked, poking her in the ribs.

She jerked away quickly, surprised by his voice interrupting her thoughts. "I'm thinking that life works in mysterious ways sometimes."

He cocked his head to the side. "How so?"

She smiled slyly, a curious gaze spreading across her face. "For one, a year ago I was snogging Shane Redford," she mused, grinning as James' face contorted into aggravation.

"I always hated that guy," James pouted.

"Well, you might want to start getting used to the guy considering he'll be my coworker."

James scowled. "I always hated that guy!"

"What guy?" Remus chimed in from across the table, overhearing their conversation.

"No guy," Lily quickly argued, rolling her eyes.

"Shane Redford," James responded, ignoring Lily.

Remus snorted. "You need to get over that. It's been a year!"

Lily groaned, slumping down on the bench. "Why did I have to bring him up?" she moaned.

"It's too bad that no one got a photo of that," Sirius sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. "That was an epic, momentous occasion in Lily-bean's life."

"Snogging the Head Boy on display in front of everyone in the Gryffindor common room is an epic, momentous occasion?" retorted Kay, trying to hold in her laughter. "I don't think I got that memo."

"That's because being out in the open isn't your thing. You'd prefer to sneak behind your best friend's back with her boyfriend," Remus retaliated slyly, ducking as a piece of bread got chucked at him.

Kay gave him a stern look, trying to ignore Riley's laughter from beside her. "This is make fun of Lily's past poor decisions, not make fun of mine!" she whined.

"I'm perfectly content making fun of Kay's," Lily said dryly, making a face.

Jillian grinned, feeling guilty for missing out on all the good times with Remus' friends. She can't remember a time she laughed as hard as she did when she was with the Marauders and the three girls. "I totally forgot that you made out with Shane in the common room last year," she snickered, glancing over at Lily.

"Oh, well, I'm glad we could dredge up the past for you," Lily murmured, slumping down in her chair.

"I do remember being jealous," Jillian mused, earning a glare from Remus. "All the girls were."

"Ahem!" Remus cleared his throat, pouting.

"Eh, you're cute, too," she teased, kissing his cheek.

Riley glanced around at her friends with a nostalgic smile, feeling a tad sentimental. She couldn't imagine her life without them. Turning down the DAR fellowship had to be the right thing to do. "I think this calls for a toast," Riley finally chimed in, holding up her glass of pumpkin juice.

"To cuteness?" James responded cheekily.

Riley rolled her eyes. "I was going to suggest a toast to seven wonderful years with good friends and good memories," she contested. "But if you'd like to toast to cuteness, go right ahead."

James hesitated, shrugging curtly. "Yeah, let's go with yours."

Riley laughed, grabbing the pitcher of pumpkin juice and refilling her friends' glasses. "To seven wonderful years?" she suggested once everyone had their glasses raised.

"With good friends and good memories," they all chorused, clinking their glasses together.

"Especially epic, momentous memories," Sirius added in the aftermath, winking playfully at Lily.

Seconds later, he was dripping in her leftover pumpkin juice and his friends all burst into laughter.

Lily grinned. "I'm going to miss this place."

Riley shrugged. "We all are," she said. "But we're going to have plenty of time to make memories in the future. Even epic, momentous ones." Sirius felt his heart constrict in his body at the mention of their future.

James scowled. "Except maybe Lily should cool it on the epic, momentous occasions."

"Unless they're with you," Remus teased.

James hesitated, glancing surreptitiously over at his girlfriend. "Okay, I give you permission to snog me in public on an open couch after downing a few shots and dancing on the coffee table."

Lily glared at him.

Kay offered James a lopsided gaze. "Good luck trying to get her to snog you at all now."


While the girls used the time after the end-of-the-year feast to prepare for the ball, the Marauders were choosing to use that time to finish up their list of pranks to play at graduation the following day. Remus was attempting to cross half off the list being the moral one he was while James was attempting to keep the list out of Remus' grasp. Peter was sprawled out across the floor, watching the two of them interact with no sincere attempt at coming up with pranks. His friends wouldn't listen to his ideas anyway. And Sirius was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling thinking about literally nothing. Because the moment he let his mind wander, thoughts of Riley and the future swarmed inside his head. He knew that the closer graduation loomed the harder it was going to be to try and do the right thing.

"Why cockroaches?" Remus groaned. "Are you trying to scare away the girls at graduation?"

James hesitated. "Lily would probably kill me," he murmured. "Okay fine, butterflies it is."

Peter snickered. "The opposite of cockroaches is butterflies?"

"I'm trying to be sensible!" he argued. "What would you say the opposite of cockroaches is?"

Peter grimaced, pondering the question. "Er..." he dithered. "Butterflies?"

James laughed, quickly jotting the idea down on the parchment in front of him. "Anything else you'd like to complain about, Remus?"

"I, for one, am not streaking across the grounds," he said huffily.

James shuddered. "Yeah, that was Sirius' idea. Lily would definitely kill me if I did that. Crossing it off the list," he snickered, running a line through it as he glanced over at Sirius, who looked lost in thought as his eyes glazed over the ceiling stones. "What, you're not going to argue, Padfoot?"

Sirius quirked an eyebrow at the mention of his nickname. "Hm?"

"Are you even listening to us?" Remus snorted, giving his friend a look.

"Of course I am," he said, shrugging.

"Oh really? Then what did we decide to transfigure the leaves on the ground to at graduation to set loose during the ceremony?"

Sirius cringed, making a face. "Bumblebees?"

"That wasn't even one of the suggestions!" James whined. "What the hell is wrong with you, mate?"

Sirius shook his head. "Nothing. Should we start getting ready for this ball thing?"

James snorted, giving his best friend a look. "'This ball thing?'" he repeated. "That's what you're going to call it? I spent months planning a fabulous event with great food and entertainment and decorations and you're just going to belittle it by calling it 'this ball thing?'"

Three blank stares gazed back at him.

"Okay, fine, Lily planned it, but I don't think she'd appreciate you belittling it either!" James hastily argued but his last few words were drowned out by the sounds of his friends' laughter. "You are all totally uninvited to the ball," he pouted, slumping down on his bed.

"I don't think you have the authority to do that," Remus teased. "Besides, you wouldn't have any fun without us."

"Yeah, without Sirius, the punch might not get spiked!" Peter joked.

James made a face. "We're coming up with too many ways Lily would kill me."

Remus and Peter couldn't help but laugh and even Sirius forced out a smile. He slowly fell out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. "I'm going to shower," he muttered, mostly because he was finding it near impossible to pay attention to his friends' dialogue and because he didn't even want to pretend to laugh with them anymore. How was he supposed to find enjoyment in the little things when he was trying to find the courage to tell the girl he loved to move halfway around the world?

"What's his deal?" James murmured curiously, glancing between Remus and Peter for assistance.

Peter shook his head, shrugging. "I never know what's going on with any of you," he snickered.

"It's probably best that way," Remus snorted, shaking his head.

"Speaking of not knowing what's going on," James chimed in with a sly smile, "Do you mind filling us in on what caused you and Jillian to reconcile?"

The tip of Remus' ears turned pink, a smile spreading across his face. "We made up. What else is there to add?"

"That's it?" Peter argued, giving Remus a look. "That's all the details you're going to give us?"

Remus rolled his eyes but the smile was unwavering. "What details would you be interested in?"

"Anything more exciting than 'we made up!'" said James.

Remus hesitated, wondering if it was worth going into the whole story. He eventually shrugged. If Jillian could make up with him after making a mistake like sleeping with Evelyn Marx, he wouldn't expect his friends to judge him. He sighed, frowning. "Well, she kinda, sorta, almost found out that I…uh…did a stupid thing last night."

James rolled his eyes. "Yeah, we're going to need more information than that."

He slumped down on the bed sheepishly. "I slept with Evelyn at the bar last night.

The looks on James and Peter's faces were priceless. James' mouth dropped open in shock and Peter's eyes widened, neither able to speak or even make a gasping noise due to complete and utter disbelief. "Er…come again?" James finally choked out. While he had known that Remus slept with someone, he wouldn't have guessed Evelyn Marx.

Remus shrugged. "You heard me."

"Okay, this might be a dumb question, but I certainly think it's necessary," James spoke up, gazing at his friend curiously. "How is it that you got back together with Jillian if she had found out about you and Evelyn? It seems to me we should all just be grateful you're still alive!"

Remus chuckled. "Well, I think her finding out about that gave her reason to actually have a conversation with me. And…" he trailed off, smiling as he thought back to the conversation he had with her earlier today. It obviously started off poorly but he was so grateful that Jillian finally told him what had been bothering her. It was the necessary step in order to rectify their relationship. And he was thankful that she even wanted to rectify their relationship.

"We talked," Remus said vaguely, shrugging. "And talking led to kissing which led to us making up which led to us both saying we loved each other which led to us…" he trailed off, not able to hide the smile creeping on his lips.

"Led you to what?" Peter asked curiously.

Remus blushed. "We slept together," he said, shrugging awkwardly.

Once again, Peter's eyes widened and James' mouth dropped open in shock. "You're starting to sound like a man whore," James joked. He wasn't surprised when a pillow was chucked at him.

"You're starting to sound like Sirius," Peter corrected, earning a laugh from all of them.

"Okay, awkward question: isn't she a virgin?" James asked.

"Not so much anymore," Remus chuckled, shaking his head.

"Wow," James said, staring at his friend incredulously. "You've really been a busy guy these past twenty-four hours, haven't you? And by busy, I mean horny."

Remus glared at him. "Are you done with the jokes yet?"

James shook his head. "No, I still have more," he grinned cheekily. "I didn't realize that sleeping with a girl's best friend was the way to her heart. If I had known, maybe I would have slept with Riley years ago!"

"Er…come again?"

James winced and turned around to face Sirius, who was standing in the bathroom doorway with a towel wrapped around his waist and a very shocked, bewildered looked on his face. "Did you hear that Remus and Jillian slept together?"

"Yeah, he kicked me out of the room to do so," he snorted. "What's this about you sleeping with Riley?"

James quirked an eyebrow. "Remus Lupin kicked Sirius Black out of the room to get it on with his girlfriend? Okay, I've officially entered the Twilight Zone." He ducked as Remus' last pillow came soaring towards him.

"Stop changing the subject. Why should you have slept with Riley years ago?" Sirius snickered.

James laughed. "In true fashion of the Twilight Zone, Remus slept with Evelyn Marx last night in that Hogsmeade alley. And on top of that, he got back together with Jillian barely twelve hours later."

Sirius burst into laughter, shaking his head in complete disbelief. "What the hell is wrong with that girl?"

"Be glad I don't have any more pillows," Remus huffed.

James chuckled, gripping tightly on to the two pillows that Remus had already sent his way. "Can you believe that everything has finally worked out for the better? I mean, the three of us are in happy, healthy relationships all at the same time! I'm rather proud of us. No offense, Peter."

Sirius' stomach tightened and he suddenly wondered why he had bothered to slip out of the shower. He probably should have just drowned himself while he had the time.

"Eh, better you than me," Peter snickered, interrupting Sirius' depressing thoughts. "I don't plan on being completely whipped anytime soon."

"I am not whipped!" both Remus and James argued.

"Uh, James, you are doing everything in your power to bore us tomorrow with pranks so that Lily doesn't Avada Kedavra your ass. And Remus? I think I heard a few times over the past month that you wouldn't get back together with Jillian after the way she broke your heart, but the minute she comes crawling back to you begging for sex, you cave. Enough said," he snickered. "However, I do think it's rather revealing that Sirius didn't bother speaking out against my comment."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I don't feel the need to protest a guy who's never had a girlfriend in his life," he said. He flashed Peter a smile when he realized how cruel he sounded.

Peter made a face. "Touché, Mr. Padfoot. Touché."

Sirius simply shrugged and went digging through his trunk for a clean dress shirt with very little success. "Why can't I find a dress shirt?" he complained. "I can't even remember the last time I wore one."

"You wore them that week in February. Or was it March?" Remus mused. "When you and James were on non-speaking terms and playing silly pranks on each other. Including one where James shredded all of your school robes and left you only with your dress robes."

James grinned sheepishly. "Er…oops?"

Sirius glared at him. "You owe me dress robes!"

James laughed. "Fine. I should have a few extra in my trunk. Go ahead and borrow one."

Sirius trekked over to James' trunk and pulled out the first dress shirt he saw, throwing it over his bare chest. "These are too big," he whined. James' build was definitely more robust than Sirius and he was slightly taller.

James rolled his eyes. "Do you own a wand or not?"

Sirius grinned sheepishly and murmured a spell to decrease the size of the shirt to fit his own body.

"Can you believe how far we've all come?" Remus blurted out, smiling nostalgically as he gazed upon his three friends' faces. "We have certainly been through our share of fights and arguments over the years, but we've managed to come out on top."

"Must we always get sentimental at the end of the year?" Sirius groaned. He had no desire to relate the memories of the past at that time. There was no need to delve into the good or the bad; he wasn't in the mood to remember the happy times they all shared and he was already miserable enough that the unpleasant times over the years would just sink him straight into a depression. He knew that before the night was over, he had to talk to Riley about the DAR no matter how much he didn't want to. "We don't have much time before the ball starts. Why don't we get ready now and go crash your sister's party downstairs, Prongs?"

James snickered, shrugging. "It's not really considering crashing when all Gryffindors are invited."

"Are you in or not?" Sirius asked anxiously.

"Eh, what the hell," he said with a shrug as he jumped off his bed and towards his trunk. "Let's go."


A/N: A lot of good fluff so I hope you enjoyed it! It's hard for me to determine which couple is my favorite at the moment! Although, I will naturally always be partial to James and Lily. Only a few chapters left! I'm still editing the last few chapters so hopefully they should be up as soon as I'm happy with it all. I can't believe this is coming to an end soon. I guess I can't be too sad-I am in the process of writing the sequel! Something else to look forward to! Please review...