So here is tonight's second posting - hope you enjoy
Disclaimer: Most characters belong to Charlaine Harris.
Chapter 53: The Blood that Binds
Dating Do: Do encourage your partner to get on with your family; if they start slaughtering each other it tends to put a dampener on the relationship.
"Everyone take a seat!" I gestured towards the couch and chairs. The gathered fairies and Eric were all looking at me. Most of the younger fairies looked apprehensive, Claudine was looking composed. Niall looked curious and Eric looked amused.
I'd opened the windows to let the evening breeze move the air, the curtains fluttered slightly and I couldn't help but be aware they were past their best. In fact all of the furniture and fittings could do with a spruce-up. I kept my home clean and well cared for and that was just how it was starting to look – well cared for. Next to the shimmering, softly glowing, fairies and their magical gowns it felt shabby, I felt shabby. But I straightened my spine, raised my chin and eyed them all firmly.
Nobody had moved so I narrowed my eyes. "Now," I said firmly. Everyone but Eric and Niall complied. They were too busy looking at each other. I realised there were not enough seats for everyone anyway.
"Er, Mr … Niall … Sir, you take the armchair." I hid my fluster at not being sure what to call the older Fairy and he seemed to accept my terms of address easily enough. "Eric go and get two kitchen chairs for you and me," I ordered. After another pause Niall sat with great dignity while Eric looked insulted by his errand.
"Would anyone like something to drink?" I asked, automatically playing hostess even now. "Some lemonade perhaps?" The younger fairies gasped and looked horrified. I remembered that they were allergic to lemons about the same time I became aware that Eric was grinning broadly. "Eric! Chairs!" I ordered with a point of my finger. I turned back to the fairies. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, I just forgot. Some tea perhaps, or ice-water?"
Something passed from Niall to the others and they all relaxed but shook their heads against my offer. Eric returned with the chairs and placed them next to each other while Niall watched him curiously.
I waited until he'd sat before moving my chair a short way from his as I sat in it. I still felt like ripping one of the legs off and putting it through his chest but that could wait until after I'd made sure the act wouldn't get me kidnapped by my extended family.
"OK, so I've been working on a solution to all this but … well … first I have questions and plenty of them." I looked hard at Eric and Niall. They both wore their blank business faces but their eyes were not correspondingly cold. Claudine was at the far end of the couch. When I glanced at her, she shook her head, she wasn't allowed to speak without permission. I returned my gaze Eric and Niall.
"Ask your questions my child, it is not my intention to keep things from you." Niall said with a pointed glance at Eric, "quite the opposite. It is why I wish to bring you into the fold."
"OK." I took a deep breath. "This fairy thing, is that why I'm telepathic?" I could have sworn I saw Eric's fingers flicker slightly, as if he was going to reach for my hand but then thought better of it. He knew how hard I had struggled with my disability, and still did sometimes. Niall's smile indicated he viewed it much like other supes did.
"I do not believe so, it is not a skill that has ever shown itself in the Fae before." I just nodded I had expected the answer but I'd had to ask.
"You said you came to introduce me to a mate and that you want to take me to Fae; was I going to get a say in any of this? If I wasn't tied to Eric would we even be having this conversation?" He looked genuinely surprised.
"Of course you would have a say." Niall forced himself to relax and leaned forward a little, with a gentle smile of reassurance. "Mating must be by mutual agreement or it doesn't work, among the Fae it cannot be forced."
"And taking me to Fae?" He looked sad as he leaned back and opened his palms.
"I confess, it never occurred to me that you would not want to go." I nodded. OK, that was the immediate concerns regarding the fairies, not that I was done with them by a long shot, but first – I turned my gaze on Eric. He didn't perform the action but the look in his eyes said 'gulp.' Good, I though, he should be gulping!
"What's the deal with the blood sharing thing?" Eric answered without hesitation.
"A full blood-bond is an irreversible, permanent blending of the blood. It creates a bond not dissimilar to that of a vampire and their Maker, though more equal. We would be able to locate each other, share feelings, call to each other through the blood." I narrowed my eyes at him, why hadn't he just told me that the first time I asked?
"But we're not bonded?" I kept my voice carefully measured.
"No." I couldn't read his expression; he looked both amused and sad. "A full bonding takes three sharings, we have only done two." His eyes held that violet intensity I'd seen several times before, it took effort to pull my gaze from them.
I calmed my heart a little and tried to remain practical.
"So two?"
"As you have experienced; one simply allows my essence to remain with you for longer than if you had only had my blood. I could feel your emotions any time I chose to access them and could offer support and strength through the blood. Sometimes the human picks up some of the vampire's emotions also, when the connection is open and there is physical contact. But that is rare until the second sharing." Niall gave Eric a look at the word human but Eric ignored him.
"After two," he paused but the pushed on. "You can now always feel my emotions when we have physical contact and I can always feel yours, unless I actively block them. The process is something like your shields I think." My eyes disengaged as I absorbed this. He had chosen this connection? I tried to imagine what it was like for him now, having to build walls inside himself to block my feelings every moment he was awake. Unlike my telepathy, even isolation wouldn't give him a break, perhaps when I was sleeping it was better for him?
Eric shifted towards me slightly and continued. "It is a much stronger tie but it can still be ended. Just with time and distance it would fade, or if required it can be severed, or overridden by an alternative double sharing or bonding." I'd put my hand on him for a moment, feeling his emotions. He was being honest, and he hated the idea of me sharing with anyone else and he was scared of something, of my reaction to all this I thought, but he wasn't trying to close the connection, he was leaving it wide open.
I had more questions about our sharing blood but decided a lot of that conversation should happen in private, I had enough with witnesses to know I could get out of it if I wanted to and I knew the fairies would have said something if Eric had lied or held anything important back. Now that I knew he couldn't lie to me if we were touching I'd ask him the rest later.
"So that's one way you've bound me to you. Now what's a demon contract?" There was a slight rustle as some of the fairies shifted but again Eric answered without hesitation.
"Demons have their own brand of magic and it cannot be broken or interfered with by any other magic. Once a demon contract has been signed it cannot be broken and can only be undone if all parties that signed agree mutually to end it." Niall jumped in at that moment and I turned to look at him.
"If you have signed such a contract with Northman and he refuses to terminate it, it can be ended if he dies again," the fairy threatened. I glared at Eric. The idea that Niall might kill him made my heart ache. But he had tied me to him in all these ways without telling me anything about it. Eric met my look. I had the distinct impression he was far more worried about my reaction than Niall's threat.
"I have done nothing that cannot be undone," he said gently. "After Loki showed such interest in you I had to make sure you could not be taken by force." He threw an indicting glance at Niall. "Of course I didn't realise why he showed such interest. I should have," he confessed. He clearly blamed Niall for Loki's 'dangerous' interest in me and I realised there was a lot I'd never told Eric about the conversations I'd had with the ancient shifter.
"Loki," Niall suddenly hissed. He was glowing brightly again and his benevolent expression was long gone. He turned on Eric, anger flashing in his eyes. "You gave Loki access to my Great Granddaughter?"
Eric kept his expression nonchalant but I suspected it was taking some effort.
"He showed up at my bar, I didn't realise who he was at first but Sookie could tell what he was." Niall glanced at me, I could tell he was both impressed and interested in that. "He showed some interest in her but I thought it was only because he knew I had an interest in her. You know what he's like." Eric also glanced at me, but his was an indication that he was not happy. I suspected it was because he knew there was more I hadn't reported about Loki, but at least mine had been an accidental omission I knew the same couldn't be said for the things Eric had been keeping from me.
I focused back on the contract. I knew what the terms said, they only bound me to work for Eric. It might stop me walking away from him completely but it didn't make me have to do more than I'd already been doing either. I didn't like the idea that Eric could keep me tied into it no matter what but I figured with Niall more than happy to kill Eric if necessary I did have some bargaining power to make Eric release me if I decided it was what I wanted. After watching him for a long moment I nodded. I would have to think about this some more. I pressed on with my questions.
"Why would Eric have power over fairies if we did this bonding thing?" I asked which made Niall refocus immediately. Again I got a glimpse of the ruthless and vicious being beneath the outwardly beautiful fae before he closed his eyes for a moment and gathered himself.
"Because you are of the royal bloodline. As such, your mate can claim a place on our councils. A vampire in such a position would unbalance our political systems, just him having access to fae would be enough." Claudine had tried to explain it all to me before but I hadn't understood why being in a relationship meant so much. But now, with Eric and me now two-thirds into a bonding I was able to grasp the actual physical connection that made vampire bondings and fae blendings so much more than a human marriage.
Most families I knew accepted their in-laws as part of the family, but if they really disapproved, with humans, they could simply choose not to, to cut them off and leave it at that. But with Eric and me, fae and vamp sharing blood, he had fae blood in his veins just as I had vamp blood in mine.
"I understand your concerns about vampires," I said, suddenly wondering how Eric was controlling himself so well in a room full of fairies. I would never forget how Claudine had held his amnesia self's interest so completely but now his focus was mostly directed at me, though with a careful eye on Niall at all times.
"If Northman interfered in our political system it would start a war that would destroy our community."
I realised that, once again, it was not the vampire thing so much as Eric himself that was the problem, I felt that affectionate exasperation Eric so often elicited and he jumped into the conversation.
"Just because I could interfere does not mean I would," he countered.
"But knowing you could would give you the power to demand anything you wanted," Niall said. We all knew Eric would be very aware of a power like that, he didn't even bother to deny it, but he did sink into thought for a long moment with his eyes settled on me.
I moved on with my questions.
"What if I said no to both of you? No to the bonding and no to going to Fae?"
"Then you would be very vulnerable," Niall answered, he looked thoughtful. "You are already covetable, all fae are, add to that your special abilities and you are an alluring acquisition, you will always have those that will hunt you." I shuddered and Eric glared at the fairy. However Niall's look was apologetic and sympathetic, I had the impression he would change my lot in life if he was able, that he really wanted me to be safe.
He continued. "However the biggest threat comes, regrettably, from the fact that you are tied to both myself and Northman. Even if you walked away, those ties would exist and if they became known you would be hunted down. Others would want to use you, against me or Northman, or both." Eric and Niall looked at each other as they considered this last part.
There was something else I didn't know. When it became clear they weren't going to volunteer the information I huffed. "Why both?" This time Eric answered me.
"It was a truce between us that led to the end of the last Fairy-Vampire war. Many, on both sides were not happy with us and suspected treason of some sort. As someone with the blood of us both you are the perfect revenge, not to mention being the perfect way to start a new war." It seems you didn't need to be Helen of Troy to be … well … Helen of Troy.
"Well that sucks. This all sucks. I don't want any of this."
"It does not matter, you cannot change who you are." Damn supe pragmatism. Eric had somehow managed to move his chair closer to mine without me noticing until he put his hand over mine. I resisted the urge to turn my hand over so our palms could meet but didn't pull away either. Niall was watching Eric speculatively. If I could read the doubt on the Viking's face I was damn sure the fairy could.
"I might be willing to allow the connection to continue. If you were to relinquish all rights to her I could allow your blood to remain mixed with hers," Niall offered.
"So now you want to negotiate?" Eric said, unimpressed by the offer. His face had gone hard as granite and he had that little crease between his brows.
The brief respite was over, Eric and Niall locked their focus back on each other and the arguing began again.
"She must be taken under the protection of the fae."
"She is still my responsibility."
"She is one of us."
"I am not denying what she is."
"She has the spark."
"I know her essence better than you."
"You will prevent her from fulfilling her potential."
"Au contraire, she can and will do better under my instruction than yours."
"Don't be ridiculous. Who can teach her more about being fae than me?"
"My blood will give her the strength to develop."
As they argued, I huffed, stood and walked into the kitchen where I picked up the phone and dialled Sam's number.
"Hey Sam, do you have a way to reach Loki?" I said loudly and clearly. Eric and Niall stopped their argument completely. The sudden silence reached through the doorway and tickled the back of my neck making the hairs rise. I turned to look at them both. Eric's fangs, which he'd been keeping tucked away, made an appearance and Niall hissed again.
"What?" echoed Sam voice down the phone-line, clearly confused.
"Never mind, I think I got what I needed," I said and hung up. I'd explain it to him later.
"Oh how much joy I would get from killing that …" Niall looked far more dangerous than any of the times he had been threatening Eric. "You should have no further contact with Loki, if he tries to approach you again you will contact me." I frowned at that.
"I don't see why, he's my friend." Niall made some noises that sounded very scary to me and I thought might be a language of some kind. Eric laughed but explained.
"The fae have hated Loki for longer than you can imagine. He has been public enemy number one since he stole something from them a long time ago." I remembered Loki saying something about a grudge.
"What did he steal?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me, even in the tense situation.
"Ireland." Eric gave the grin that meant he knew someone else was annoyed and he found it amusing.
"What?" He couldn't mean …
"This was long before my time of course." That was mind boggling by itself given that Eric's time was so long ago already.
"He stole Ireland? How does that work?" I just couldn't get my head around it.
"He moved it, from the fae realm to this one, it is very subtle these days but even now if you visit the country you can feel a slight sense of otherness in the air, the hint of an energy quite different to anything or anywhere else in this realm, but perhaps most humans are not paying enough attention to notice. I will take you some time."
Once again Eric and I were managing to have a barely relevant conversation in the middle of a crisis – it was definitely one of the idiosyncratic aspects of our interactions and as usual it calmed me. However I was still aware of the other people in the room and that I was mad at Eric right now.
I pulled a face to remind him I had no intention of going anywhere with him in the short term, except maybe a silver mine, and he gave me a look full of so many emotions that I felt a shudder run down my spine. I hardened myself against it.
Niall watched this by-play curiously but then seemed to remember his anger and his face darkened again. I suspected there were more lectures on the evilness of Loki in my future if I stayed in contact with my Great Grandfather. I decided to deflect him.
"Well at least Loki doesn't ignore me. You two keep talking over me, not to mention assuming either-or are my only choices," I pointed out.
"What other choices are you talking about?" Asked Eric, sounding innocent and looking amused. I knew he was well aware what I was about to say, and that he was daring me to say it. I said it anyway.
"What about Oscar?" Eric smirked.
"Who is this Oscar?" Asked Niall.
"Her human," said Eric. They shared another look.
"Pack that in. Oscar is a good man."
"A good man who does not know anything about you," said Eric. "He is in a relationship with a human, which you are not." His eyes were sparkling and whatever the problems that came with it, now he had gotten used to the idea I knew Eric was pleased with my heritage.
"I am part human, mostly human," I insisted.
"You cannot be only a part of yourself Sookie." Claudine said quietly. I could see she felt awful for me. She was as trapped by the politics of all this as anyone but she sympathised with me, would help me if she could, I believed that. However she truly felt there was nothing she could do.
"We agree on that much at least?" Niall asked Eric after giving Claudine an approving look that included some show of affection, something I was sure he didn't show often. Eric nodded his assent and Niall continued. "If she is yours, how is it she has a human lover?" There was a glint in his eye. "You are not one for sharing Northman."
Eric's jaw was tight and there was a pause while he loosened it before responding but when he spoke he sounded disinterested. "He is Sookie's choice. She is tied to me by blood and by contract for her safety. If she were my mate it would make us both vulnerable." He added this last quietly, almost to himself.
"Is that not the essence of mating? To make oneself vulnerable," Niall boomed out making Eric's aside the subject of the conversation. "It is why vampires are so bad at it, their weakness is that they fear weakness." He said pointedly to me.
"In my opinion the safest place for you would be Fae," he continued. "But I will not force you to go. I believe Northman is sincere in his desire to protect you but a full bonding between you would be necessary and that could cause many problems." I saw a great sadness cross Niall's face, for a moment he looked much older. I knew from Claudine's teaching that it would also mean cutting myself off from them.
I'd thought that if I could cut myself off from any fae position without them finding out about Eric, then even if they found out later it wouldn't matter. It had been my plan, at the start; to make a deal like the one my Gran had made.
But now I wasn't so certain. Gran's deal had been allowed because my father did not have the spark and there was no expectation that an unsparked part-fae, mating with a human, would have sparked off-spring. For me it would be different, I knew now they'd have to extinguish my spark before I'd be allowed to walk away, a process neither easy nor certain to work.
On top of that, I'd learnt a great deal in the last few months and cutting myself off from the fairies might keep us safe from them but it would make us more vulnerable in other ways.
Until I understood what Eric had done, without telling me, I wasn't doing anything permanent. Still it was an option. Except Niall looked so sad, and I didn't have much in the way of family. Was I really prepared to cut them off forever? I wasn't sure, either way.
Eric had been studying my face, and, I knew, my emotions too. He turned to Niall.
"Sookie has been through a lot tonight and needs time to process."
"I am sure we can agree to a hiatus in these negotiations." I suspected Niall needed time to process also.
"I will not take any further steps in regards to bonding if you will assure me Sookie will not be removed to Fae."
"And you are not to hurt Eric," I added. I had meant to say something about them negotiating over me again but somehow these were the words that slipped out. Furthermore I somehow knew that if I hadn't said them Eric would have been at risk.
Niall thought for a moment then nodded. "I would also like to ask that you at least get to know Preston and some other fairies before you make your choice. The bonds between fae are quite different to anything other species experience. I would hate for you to miss out on that without at least understanding what you are turning down." Eric looked very unhappy about this.
"I don't mind making friends with them," I said with a smile in their direction.
Satisfied that we'd done as much tonight as we were going to, Niall stood up. The other fairies followed suit. He was about to head for the door when he turned back to Eric.
"What about this other vampire?" He asked. Eric had stood too but they both seemed more relaxed than at any other point so far. I tensed slightly at the reference and Claudine moved close to me in support.
"He is in the employ of my Queen. I cannot kill him."
"I can see you would like to," Niall said approvingly.
"He would be no loss." Niall nodded in agreement and thought for a while.
"He is still in the area?"
"No he has recently been removed to New Orleans, and he is barred by Royal decree from all association with Sookie, for the moment." That was news to me.
"Well that will have to do for now. If Sophie-Anne loses interest in him, let me know."
With a round of good-byes and take-cares the fairies departed, Claudine giving me a big hug during which she shared her affection, apologies and concern for me. Eric made himself useful without being asked by taking the chairs back to the kitchen while they left.
Afterwards I stood looking at him. He waited, standing in the kitchen doorway, for what I had to say. A couple of times I saw him go to speak but each time he thought better of it and stayed silent. Eventually I couldn't take the silence.
"Thank you for not trying to eat my relatives. It must have been hard." I could still remember the way all the vampires present had reacted to Claudine in Merlotte's during the witch war. Eric just shrugged.
"Not really. Niall is able to supress the scent, the fairy essence, for himself and those with him." I nodded and tried to think of something else 'safe' to talk about.
"What Royal decree?" I asked, surprising him.
"Bill was supposed to keep an eye on you while I was in New Orleans, to get closer again and try to renew his connection with you. The Queen was almost as angry as I was when we heard you'd been hurt. Bill is being held responsible and has been fined. For now he must stay away from you."
"I assume the Queen didn't tell you all this."
"Of course not."
I stood there in silence again, avoiding his eye. I was so angry at him but I could not deny that he had protected me, and that things would have been a lot worse for me right now if he hadn't. Even so, my trust in him had been severely damaged. What else might he do without telling me? I sighed.
"Eric I need to talk to you about all this but I cannot take any more tonight and Oscar should be back soon. So for now I am going to ask you two questions and I need you to tell me the absolute truth. I held my hand out asking for his so I'd be able to tell if he was lying. To my surprise he came forward and took it without hesitation.
"You said everything you did, all the ways I'm tied to you can be undone, is that the truth?" I looked into his eyes and he took a step closer so he was looking down into mine.
"Yes, I would never have taken irreversible steps without your consent. I truly intended to protect you, though I admit I … enjoy, the feeling of being tied to you, I … I want it," he said looking uncertain and baffled though I could feel he was absolutely sincere.
"OK, and if I decided I wanted to walk away, to go with the fairies or marry Oscar, or just leave all this behind?" Anger, hurt, and other powerful emotions were quickly stomped down.
"If it was what you wanted, if no one was influencing you and I could ensure your safety, then I would relinquish all ties," he said. I frowned at him.
"What if I was willing to risk my safety, in order to be free?" Sadness.
"Have I ever done anything for you to be so determined to banish me from you?" Oh and puppy eyes to boot. They were just as persuasive as Dean's, perhaps more so.
"Not that I know of," I said stroking his hand with my thumb but still determined to make my point. He was thinking, plotting almost. I narrowed my eyes.
"I would find some other way to protect you, then I would unmake the ties," he compromised.
"And how long would that take?" I saw right through him.
"As long as it takes," he grinned. I had to laugh, anything less would not have been Eric and would have made me suspicious.
"But seriously, if I wanted …"
"If you truly wanted to be free I would not force you to stay." He said honestly. He wouldn't want to let me go, but he would. He'd been telling the truth about wanting to protect me and wanting to be tied to me. It wasn't the sum total of his reasons, I doubted even Eric knew fully every reason behind his actions, he always seemed to come at each situation from so many directions.
He was sad now. He knew I wasn't OK with what he'd done no matter what the reasons, and that I was wondering if I could trust him, if I shouldn't put some distance between us no matter what other course I determined on.
But Eric was latched onto me, like a burr entangled in fur – so wrapped up with myself that the only way to separate us was to cut him out and I couldn't do that without losing a bit of myself too. And while I did want to hurt his body, perhaps with something sharp and silver, and I did want to hurt his mind, his pride, until he acknowledged that he had been high handed and perhaps make him suffer to the extent that he would never do something like this again, I didn't want to hurt his heart, that had been in the right place at least. I threw him a bone.
"I'd fight for you too you know." I would. Whatever I decided, I wouldn't let Niall kill him.
"I know." He moved towards me, seeking more contact. I wasn't ready to do that with him yet though, no matter how good it would feel. I stepped back and though he frowned there was a slight glint in his eyes that said he'd known he was pushing it.
"Now shoo, before I blow up again," I warned him.
[~~~]
It was some days before I'd calmed down enough to talk to Eric. I had several calls and many texts from him in between but I didn't return any of them. I contacted him only once, to ask him to block the tie he had to me. He argued against it but in the end he agreed he would as long as I accepted that he'd open it occasionally so he could know I was safe.
I was grateful; not about him agreeing, he should have done that anyway, I have a right to privacy, but that he was honest with me about it. He could have pretended to agree and just not done it but he didn't. Though I had no way of knowing for sure if he was sticking to his word I found I believed he was.
The stand-off came to an end after an innocent phone-call to Pam one night. I got stranded on a lonely road at night with a flat tire. For no good reason I could identify, I completely freaked out. The whole time I was putting on the spare I was jumpy and nervous, even though I knew there were no minds close by.
I felt unusually alone, seeing as I'd always associated being alone with peace. The sounds of the woods, that I usually considered friendly and comforting, suddenly felt creepy and threatening. I nearly had a heart attack when an owl flew out at me. But I got the tire changed and got home with nothing worse than a good spooking.
After I got home, I poured myself a glass of wine, flopped down on my couch and called Pam to shake it off. I was giggling as I recounted the story, telling her how I'd let myself get worked up and scared over nothing. She too seemed to find it funny and we were both laughing on the phone when Eric blew into my house like a tornado about half an hour later.
He must have been in hearing distance of our phone call and clearly didn't see any humour in the situation. He started yelling at me immediately for not calling him or at least Pam the moment the tire blew. Then, while running his hands over me, not entirely gently, checking for damage, he insisted I swear that next time I would stay in the car and wait for help if I wanted him to keep the connection between us closed. The connection was not closed during this examination so I knew he was serious.
I disentangled myself from his continuing pat-down and put the coffee table between us. Eric's expression showed he wasn't happy as I moved away from him.
"Eric calm down, I'm fine - besides if someone was determined to get to me I doubt locking myself in a car would deter them." After all vampires and weres and fairies and even most humans wouldn't be stopped by …
Eric had that look.
"What?"
Eric refused to say anything.
"There's something on my car too isn't there? Some sort of voodoo to stop bad-guys or something."
Eric's expression had shifted to the one where he thought I was being unnecessarily difficult. "Just think of it as an extra safety feature, like an airbag – it is for your protection," he explained patiently.
"Urgh!" I threw my hands in exasperation. "For God's sake Eric, I do not have a problem with my car being protected - or me being protected. I DO have a problem with you doing things that concern me without telling me about it. How hard would it have been to just say; oh by the way Sookie, I've hidden some wolfsbane in your engine just in case?" I did a bad impression of his voice to which he looked offended.
"Wolfsbane does not work."
"That is SOO not the point and you know it."
"You are over-reacting."
"Talk about the zombie calling the vampire dead!"
"Did you just call me a zombie?" We'd been stood about a foot apart yelling at each other. I was breathing hard and Eric was still holding the tension in his shoulders during the pause that followed his last question. Then we both burst into laughter.
Once we calmed down, I decided, since Eric was here and had just had a taste of consequences himself, seeing as if he hadn't insisted on keeping things from me and being all high-handed about making magical ties without telling me, I wouldn't have insisted he close the connection and he wouldn't have had any reason to worry, it might be time to discuss our situation.
I put my hands on my hips.
"Ok Eric, truth time, you're going to explain everything - and I mean properly!" His 'Sookie, you're being unreasonable' look returned but I held my ground until he sighed and started talking.
He covered the contract first, explaining that the 'lawyer' I'd met was a well-known demon in supernatural circles. But, while 'air-tight' didn't come close to covering how secure it was, the contract didn't involve anything I didn't already know about except that, as I'd learned, both Eric and I would have to mutually agree to end it, otherwise all terms MUST be adhered to - there wasn't even an 'or else' it just had to happen.
I was actually OK with the contract, perhaps most of all because we both knew, though Eric kindly didn't say, that I had been in a position where Bill had been influencing me, and therefore my judgement had been impaired, without me knowing it. If something like that happened again Eric could protect me even if I didn't think I needed it – and vice versa, since I'd have to agree too if he wanted to end the contract.
Despite my approval, which he must have felt, he looked uncomfortable when he'd finished that part of the explanation. We both knew what was next. I moved forward to put my hand on him in a deliberate way - he couldn't lie to me if we were touching - but I didn't say anything.
"With most humans we just feed." By 'just feed' he meant sex too but for them that was just like using a fork - sure you can eat without it but mostly it is considered good manners to use cutlery. "Occasionally however we take responsibility for one, claim them as ours – this is usually like a human's relationship to their dog, or this little demon of yours." Eric scowled at his name-sake who had crawled halfway up his leg and, with his claws dug deeply into the flesh of the Viking, was hissing away. I removed Erik from Eric's thigh and shut him in the bedroom.
The vampire continued his point. "You might care for your pets but they are still lesser creatures. You bestow your presence, your affection even, and you take responsibility for them to some extent. But you reserve the right to set the rules."
Eric was staring out of the window into my woods and I looked towards the bedroom door where I could hear Erik scratching to get out. I didn't much like it but I had to accept there was some truth to what Eric was saying. I'd never have hurt Erik but I expected him to eat what I said, sleep where I said, not to scratch the furniture (or the Viking) no matter how much he might want to.
I recalled how the Lancaster's had problems with their Alsatian after they had a baby because it became too protective and kept growling at them when the baby was crying. They gave it to Mr Lancaster's sister who didn't have any children. Looking at Eric I amused myself for a moment by imagining the look on his face if I said I was giving him to Jason because he'd become over-protective. He suddenly looked over his shoulder at me suspiciously as he picked up on my amusement.
"But I am not your pet am I? So what exactly are we Eric?" He put his hands in his pockets and turned the rest of his body to face me, resting his butt against the window-sill.
"In the past humans have called it bloodsfasting," Eric said. He clearly didn't expect me to comprehend 'bloodsfasting' - however I choked and grabbed the back of the sofa for support.
"Bloodsfasting! Like handsfasting? Like married?" I'd read enough to know handsfast was considered binding and unbreakable among the people that used it. And my instincts had been screaming that it was something intensely personal and intimate, but I'd let myself be convinced by all his 'it's just a work thing - for protection' crap, and now I find out ...
"Relax Sookie," Eric laughed and I took a calming breath and almost laughed at myself too. Let's face it, Eric wasn't very likely to get married no matter what the benefits. I'd probably mis-understood, hadn't I? "It is like handsfast." I could tell he was impressed that I knew the term. "But we are more sponsalia per verba de futuro than sponsalia per verba de praesenti."
Thrown by the fact I'd understood the term, Eric had responded instinctively to get the conversation back onto the terms he'd meant it to be - that is me not knowing what he was talking about. He wasn't trying to be mean, it wasn't even about me really, it was just a habit - always keep the upper hand. I understood the conversational subtleties of vampire interaction now, but I wasn't about to play along.
"Enough with the pig-Latin. What does that mean?" I asked outright, neither afraid to admit I didn't know something nor to ask the blunt question. Eric's lip twitched but he answered me.
"Actually that was just regular Latin and it means we are more the equivalent of engaged than married. We have indicated an intention to form a blood-bond but we are not bonded and we can choose not to do so - or even undo what has been done." I felt a strong desire to throw something - possibly Eric, but seeing as he was too heavy for me to lift I settled for fisting my hands and digging my nails into my palms.
"I don't remember agreeing to any of this." I was trying very hard not to focus on the marriage analogy - I was scared of what part of the overwhelming emotions the thought stirred, might burst out of me if I let the sentence 'married to E...' get completed, even just in my head.
"I remember you agreeing quite vividly," Eric said, pulling me from my internal struggle with a jolt. His eyes had turned violet with intensity, his lips looked inviting but I pushed that aside and opened my mouth to argue. Then I stopped. "You accepted me Sookie, just as I accepted you."
I had accepted him, accepted his blood. I'd known it would tie me to him. I might not have understood all the intricacies, but I'd known enough. I'd known it would form a connection not easily broken, I moved forward and placed my hands on him again - I needed to be certain he was being honest with me, that he wasn't hiding anything.
"So what happens next?" My heart was thumping so hard it was painful. Eric's voice was contrastingly soft
"That is up to us, but I would recommend we complete the bond - it would bind us eternally - none could break it, not even your Great-Grandfather, though he may be the most powerful person that would try." Eric gave the impressing of laying all his cards on the table but really he was just pointing to the flop and making out like that told me everything I needed to know.
"Bound for eternity - bound how? What would it mean?"
"It would be similar to my tie with Pam, we would have responsibilities for and to each other by law."
"What about when I get old?" Did I get 'retired'? He may well regret it by the time I was fifty but Eric had said it was permanent.
"Even then, though to my knowledge that sort of thing has never happened," Eric was looking speculative.
"What do you mean? You're planning to kill me?" I asked alarmed. I knew bonding wasn't common but for not one single human to survive into old age? What happened to them all? He laughed.
"No, of course not. It is just usually, if a vampire commits to sharing, they sooner or later turn the human, it is another reason the relationship can never been seen as truly equal – eventually one will become the Maker of the other." He was still giving me that speculative look, it was starting to make me uncomfortable.
"But I don't want to be a vampire."
"I know."
Despite his attempt to stay casual this topic brought out some strong emotions in Eric. His eyes were glowing and I could feel his turmoil. He hated it, my not wanting to be turned. He hated it fiercely. There was only one reason I could think of for him to feel so much, so strongly. Eric would never turn me against my will, that was the problem for him. Even though he could, even though he wanted to, he wouldn't. It hurt him to leave me (mostly) human but he respected my wishes.
I realised this extended to all aspects of our connection, he'd not been completely honest, but he'd tried to respect what I wanted while still giving me what he felt I needed, his protection.
"Thank you," I said, reaching up to place my hands on his cheeks. He took the opportunity to run both hands down my sides leaving them to rest on my hips. I knew I should pull back, it felt very intimate but the whole conversation had been fraught with underlying emotions and I needed the comfort that came with skin on skin contact.
It had been hard being away from him over the last few days when I was going through so much emotional turmoil, and I could feel now how much he had needed contact with me too. I wondered if that part of sharing would be further emphasised after the third and final exchange meant we were bonded. Perhaps by that point it would be impossible for us not to be touching each other, like some weird kind of conjoined twins.
Dropping my hands, I rested my cheek against his chest and he moved his arms around me so he could stroke my back soothingly. It wasn't that when we were apart it felt like hard work, just that when we were touching it felt like a weight had been lifted. It was the equivalent of an emotional rest. I closed my eyes and enjoyed his quiet. Or I would have done if he hadn't started speaking.
"You might change your mind you know," he said in quiet, encouraging tones.
"Huh?"
"You would like being a vampire," he persisted.
"My favourite activity is sunbathing and I hate doing as I'm told, especially by you," I pointed out. "Which part am I supposed to like?" Eric pondered this for a moment.
"You wouldn't get sick," he tried.
"I don't get sick now," I countered.
"You'd heal quickly, which, considering how much trouble you are, would be useful."
"Well you seem to have that covered already." He loved giving me blood, even this small reference to it gave him a happy feeling.
"You'd be faster, stronger," he tried next. But I was ready for that one too.
"Moving too fast makes me travel sick and I had enough trouble strength-wise after the first sharing." I was still wrapped against his chest so I poked him in the ribs to let him know I blamed him for that.
I could feel Eric's curiosity so I explained. "I put my hand through a window." He laughed and I frowned into his shirt. "It's not funny Eric," I said, poking him again as I tried to suppress a grin.
Despite my attempts to berate him, he remained in a contemplative mood, enjoying the contact between us. He brought one hand from stroking my back to lift my hand from his chest and kiss it. I tried to use the moment to pull away but Eric wasn't done with the hug yet so I gave in and relaxed against him again.
"You get used to it, we've all made little mistakes like that. Having extra strength doesn't prevent you from being gentle," he continued to stroke me gently as evidence. "You just have to learn your new parameters, that's all. I would teach you." As well as still stroking me, he was now running his cheek and nose over my hair, breathing in my scent. We were rapidly moving from comforting hug to much more dangerous territory.
I moved the conversation to a more brutal issue in an attempt to shift the mood back.
"And the part where I'm supposed to bite people?"
"You like biting me," Eric said walking me backwards. I wasn't sure where we were going but rather than curb his libido I'd managed to encourage it. Nothing excited Eric more quickly than me biting him (well I don't know if it was just me, I'd never been around when anyone else bit him).
I opened my mouth to protest, to both the movement and his assertion, but I could feel his anticipation as he waited for me to try denying that I liked drinking his blood. There was a pause as we both waited for me to say something. Then I looked up to give him the stink eye instead, just as he moved down to whisper in my ear, and like that we were kissing.
There was a celebration going on in our blood and a sense of rightness fighting with the parts of us that were always arguing against this. As our lips moved together all our emotions joined forces in a massive mosh pit, jumping, shoving and pushing against each other but in a synchronised, joyous way.
My back was against a wall and Eric pushed against me as my hands sneaked around for a feel of my favourite gluteus maximus. His hands were on my hips and his fingers started gathering the material of my dress so I could feel the hem travelling up my legs. My libido engine revved so loudly it woke my conscience. Pulling my lips from his, I managed to gasp out; "Oscar."
We both froze.
Eric was caught somewhere between shocked and insulted. I figured not many women gasped someone else's name at him. But I wasn't confused over who I was kissing, just conscious that I shouldn't be kissing Eric when I was still in a relationship with Oscar. Just because Eric didn't take my boyfriend seriously didn't mean I didn't.
As I panted, both from the kiss and the effort of stopping, Eric ran through several more emotional cocktails. From what I could follow he started at; 'no-one would have to know', and took a weaving road to; 'but maybe we shouldn't' before finally pulling his head back so he could look down at me. Though I really didn't want to, I met his eye.
"The effects of the second sharing are still …" he started while his blood screamed 'liar, liar, pants on fire' at me. Why-ever we'd been kissing, it wasn't due to the blood, or not only due to the blood anyway. I looked into his eyes trying to figure him out. Sure, I'd been keeping my distance from this undercurrent of our interactions, mostly because of the danger to Eric from my fae relations, but even now all that was out in the open, there was still the fact that he also pulled away from me whenever we …
I'd stopped trusting emotions after the thing with Bill, trying to focus on what I thought was best rather than what I felt was best, but maybe I needed to at least consider them as part of the equation. Eric was feeling desire, just as I was, and he was fighting it, just as I was. I knew my reasons but what were his? I didn't imagine the Oscar issue would bother him and even now he knew about it I didn't think he was scared of the fairies, judging by how he'd been with Niall.
Was it just that he couldn't give me what I wanted? That he wouldn't be able to commit to me the way I needed? I felt him stamp down on his emotions and his business face appeared.
"You are right, we should not …" Eric looked stuck for what word to use, "it is not a good idea for us to … copulate." I blinked at him.
"Copulate?" I knew the term, it just wasn't one I expected to hear from Eric. His eyes ran over my face and I felt a surge of lust from him so strong I knew he was just a snick and a snee away from resuming where we'd left off but then he reined it back in.
After another long moment during which he seemed to be waiting for something, he forced a little cough and looked more pointedly at me. I was confused for a moment then I realised I was still gripping his butt. Even at this point I was slightly loathed to let it go but I withdrew my hands as Eric looked an impossible combination of amused and in pain.
Pushing him back a little so I could escape from between him and the wall, I moved to the other side of the living room to put space between us. Eric, perhaps deciding that was not enough space, walked out to the kitchen and stood staring out through the window into the woods.
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Only three more chapters to go - but things are not smooth going just yet ;) xx
