In hindsight, Ben realized he might have made a mistake. He mentally replayed what he said, each agonizing second of stupidity after another. He might have been wrong. A little.
He was a massive freaking idiot.
By the time he unfroze himself, pried himself off his glued down pedestal of idiocy, he was too late. The shouting from the kitchen had stopped, and there was only an ominous sort of silence hovering in the air.
Ben ran to the kitchen, saw a wide-eyed Sam standing over a salad, open refrigerator in front of him. With a quick sweep, the only thing he could see missing was... lemon juice.
Crap.
"Amy!" he called desperately. "I'm an idiot!"
"That would probably be correct." Sam sighed, ate another forkful of salad. His eyes were still wide, though, so Ben spun and exited at top speed.
"Amy!"
He burst out the door of the bunker, and there was nothing to see. Just the door, the grass, and a red wool blanket. Rolling away in the wind.
Sam was behind him, and the giant was already over the fact that a nearly-stranger girl had angel-zapped herself into his kitchen, stolen her lemon juice back, and proceeded to zap herself away again. Ben shuddered, trying to imagine something that could actually startle the man.
"Hey, Ben." Sam said, his forehead all crinkled in what Amy had called the Wifi signal of worry. Ben's heart twinged. "What's going on?" A pause. "Amy uh... teleported in, screamed something unkind about you, grabbed her lemon juice and left."
Ben hit the railing with the flat of his hand, welcoming the sting. "Dammit, Sam, I screwed up."
He closed his eyes, letting the brisk May morning wind whip through his worn grey shirt. Was he going to hate this shirt now, as a relic of his most epic fail?
Sam settled against the railing beside him, and was silent for a second. Ben could feel the warmth spilling from his skin like a furnace, even a few feet away.
It reminded him of Dean. Everything reminded him of Dean.
"It's easy to screw up with family."
Ben shook his head, angrily shoved some hair aside. "She wasn't family, Sam. Her real family is either possessed or dead, and I just-"
"Family doesn't end with blood, Ben, as a wise man once told me." and Ben could feel him waving off what Ben was about to say. "Hell, Dean's family certainly doesn't end at me. Cas is family too. And... you."
That just made Ben feel worse. "I'm a pretty crappy family member, Sam. I can't even remember Dean."
An uncomfortable muteness.
Ben opened his eyes, looked at Sam, who was pointedly looking away. "Sam. Does Dean know why I can't remember him?"
An almost laugh. A finger comb of his mane. "Well..."
"Oh, my god."
"This is something you're going to need to talk to Dean about. And Ben, don't get too angry. He just wants you to be safe."
"Sam. Did Dean have anything to do with wiping my memories?"
"I think this is something you're going to need to talk to Dean about." Sam repeated. Cleared his throat. "What I was saying... Ben, I think Amy considered you family, or at least something close to it. I didn't get much of a chance to talk to her, but she was quite fond of you." Snort. "In a mildly antagonistic sibling sort of way."
Ben shuttered his eyes again. "She has an actual brother, Sam. You know what that's like. I don't. And he's possessed by a demon. What would you do if Dean was possessed by a demon?"
There it was again - a meaningful silence. This one was more of a telling one.
Ben sighed. "Don't tell me. It's happened before."
Sam ran a hand through his rapunzel locks again. "Well, not technically."
"Tell me, Sam, how the hell you can be 'not technically' possessed by a demon?"
Sam gestured helplessly. "That also falls in the 'ask Dean' category."
Ben's jaw dropped. "Okay. Wow. Have you guys ever thought of publishing your lives? Because... wow."
Sam scowled with vigour.
Ben let out an incredulous sound. "You've got to be kidding me."
Sam blinked, somehow managing to express extreme exasperation. "Prophet of the lord."
Ben leant against the railing, let the wind comb through his hair. "You guys have wild lives, you really do. But stop changing the topic. I'm not her family. And you guys left, but the things I said... Sam I screwed up. Screwed up bad."
"There's nothing you can't fix. Ever."
Ben looked up at Sam, at the weathered lines of his face, and he thought of his first impression, Is that what I'll be in ten, twenty years? He thought of the easy camaraderie between the brothers, Sammy's and rolled eyes and sighs and Dean. What had they had to fix? he wondered.
He ran through a mental list of all he remembered. Partial demoning. Possession by Lucifer. Something else, maybe, that had Dean living with Ben and Lisa in the first place. A dead father.
He stopped there. Okay. Fine. If you were a Winchester, you could get past anything. Eventually.
But Ben was a Braeden. And Braedens didn't call their mothers for days on end and alienated their only friends - sorry, family - and had the memory of a goldfish for the people that mattered.
"Sure, Sam. But she's gone. And she literally never checks her voicemail. And she's got like, twelve phones. She can easily ditch the number she gave me and do whatever the hell she wants without me. I'm nobody."
Sam did his confused face. It was a very effective one, as all of Sam's expressions seemed to pride themselves on being. He had yet to see a subpar expression grace the sasquatch's face. "Can't you pray to her? That used to work with Cas before... well, before."
Now it was Ben's turned to look confused, although he was sure his expression wasn't nearly as impressive as Sam's. "Uh, I know it looks like it? But she's not an angel. She's human, with human parents and a human - well, demonic - brother."
Sam tried to reconcile the two sides of his argument. "Right- I know- I talked to her and... ugh. Angel blades, teleportation, Crowley's statement, and her eyes were definitely supernatural blue." He massaged his forehead. "Right. Well, I'm going to take this clue to go research."
Ben stood, cracked his back, and wanted to shoot himself in the face with rock salt as he jerked back in halfway through the stretch. He was so used to being karate chopped mid stretch, and now...
He caught the older man's arm as Sam was turning to go back inside. "Hey. Um, thanks. For everything."
Sam gave him a genuine smile, and man, Ben was right about his facial expressions. It was almost as bright as Amy's sunlight smile. "Always, Ben." A head tilt. "You gonna come inside?"
Ben bent, wound the red wool blanket around his hand. "In a minute."
Sam smiled at him again. "Dean'll be talking to Cas somewhere. Shouldn't be too hard to find him."
"Thanks, Sam." Ben said gratefully. "Again."
"No problem." And Sam ducked back inside the bunker, leaving Ben alone outside with a cold wind and a red blanket and a whole lot of thinking to do.
Ben will always crack me up with how accidentally accurate he is. "What if Dean was a demon?" "You should publish your lives". And see? 1280 word chapter without the note! They're not all short.
Also, Ben, FYI, what would actually startle and surprise Sam is Dean being turned into a teenager. He was totally surprised then. Go ahead, psychic up this fact and tease them about it. That would be great.
And yay! Sam is getting all geared up to research what the heck is going on with Amy. Maybe he'll dig up something that can give you guys a couple more clues! :)
