A/N: Before I start, I would truly like to apologize for my lack of updates. I've been completely on edge with SAT's, and the scores have come back...and I did alright! Whoot! Relief. So, now I have more free time to write, and the next chapter will be up within a week or two, as I've already started on it!

Now, about this chapter. I was writing this over a month, bits and pieces every time, so I would really like to apologize for the less than smooth flow of it. I tried to edit it, but...well, I'll just have to work with it, won't I? Please forgive me! I might go back and refix it in the future.

And of course, thanks to all the patient people who have stuck with me for so long, and who (rightly) can yell at me after I post this. Thanks to Young Prewett, Kates Master, Padfoot2446, SweetLikeALemon, elise bentwin, LeonaKat (going until a bit after their death, for now!), Kendra-the hyper one, living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, Miwako, Phanthom, Goddess of Grammar, Mrs. Radcliffe-Efron, DianaMC, RitaSkeeterGossip, elven cats eyes (five times!), brona, Snuffles Is My Idol O.o, 3-Legged Dog, shopaholic90, dixio (three times!), tresdrole, dumbledoresgirl1 (twice!), ghosty, and Sissyspacedout! Thank you all so much!


January, 1977


Confrontation

Lily and James were off somewhere on patrol, and Remus was thoroughly bored. Sirius for some reasons just wanted to sit around the common room, doing absolutely nothing, and Peter…well, Peter never really had any original ideas. Remus had finished all his homework, and was now resorting to drumming his fingers on the couch.

"Guys, please," he pleaded. "Can we please go do something? I think I'm going to explode."

"No," Sirius said tonelessly.

Remus ignored him. "D'you want to go down to the library?" Remus suggested. "We could study transfiguration."

"Remus, no," Peter groaned.

"Why not?" Remus said defensively. "We're being tested on the new spells tomorrow."

"Do you honestly think that's what I would rather be doing?" Sirius growled.

"Unless you want to sit around here and rot, I'd say the library is a desirable destination," Remus said flatly. "Do you have anything better?"

Sirius slumped back in his seat. The three sat in silence for a while. Suddenly, Sirius's eye gleamed.

"Uh oh," Remus said, smiling a bit. "What do you have planned, Padfoot?"

"How about we go exploring?" Sirius said excitedly.

"Without James?" Peter asked.

Sirius rounded on him, the look of excitement turning into an ugly glare. "What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius growled.

Peter faltered, looking scared. "I-" he stuttered.

"Why does everything have to revolve around him?" Sirius said angrily, ignoring Peter.

"It doesn't," Remus said calmly.

"We're going exploring," Sirius said resolutely, as if he didn't hear Remus. "And we're going to do it without Potter." He stood up abruptly. Both Remus and Peter were too scared to disagree.

Remus registered the use of James's surname as a sure sign of trouble. He hadn't heard Sirius say it since First Year. He knew that Sirius was losing his temper more and more quickly by the day. As James was currently patrolling with Lily, Sirius must have felt a bit betrayed, and was exerting that pent-up anger and energy into exploration. As it was a relatively harmless way to calm Sirius down, Remus had no problems going along with the exploration.

"What time is it?" Peter asked.

"Who cares?" Sirius said roughly. "Look, we're going to be back before curfew. The Head Boy might throw us all into detention if we don't." Then, Sirius laughed, as if that was preposterous. Remus noticed how hollow it was.

"Alright," Remus shrugged. "Let's go."

"Hold on," Sirius said. "I'm going to grab the map."

He dashed upstairs and returned a few minutes later, clutching the map in his hand. "Alright. Let's go."

It was half past seven and the halls were dotted with a few people here and there. It was one of the few days that Remus didn't have patrol, and today he wasn't thankful for it. He would rather have patrol than listen to Sirius rant about James, when he refuses to even talk to James about it. Remus could tell that James was extremely confused about what was going on with Sirius, but never had the time to really think about what might be bothering his best friend.

The three marauders set out together, not quite sure where to go. They first went to the kitchen and nicked some food, for Sirius was always hungry. Then, they went outside for a while. Pretty quickly, however, the sky darkened, and they were forced back into the castle by the blistering cold.

"I know," Peter said excitedly. "Let's go visit the Room of Requirement!"

"That isn't really exploring, though," Sirius said moodily.

"We haven't really been doing much exploration," Remus said fairly. "We've been to the kitchen a thousand times."

"Alright," Sirius said resignedly. "Off to the Room of Requirement we go."

Peter looked thrilled to have finally gotten his way. Obviously he wasn't too happy about the rift between James and Sirius, but a part of him was excited. This was one of the few times that James and Sirius weren't that close, and it made him feel more like part of the group.

On their way up to the Room of Requirement, Sirius had the distinct feeling that somebody was following them. He whipped out the map and tapped it quietly, muttering the password softly. His suspicions were confirmed.

"Snivellus," he spat, suddenly wheeling around. "Why the hell are you following us?"

Snape looked surprised at first, but then recovered quickly. "I'm not," he said, eyes narrowed.

"Oh, really?" Sirius jeered. "Can't get enough of us, can you?"

Both he and Snape pulled out their wands at the same time. Sirius stood there, face malicious, eyes gleaming. He was breathing heavily, but he welcomed the challenge of Snape. Maybe blasting the hell out of his enemy would make him feel better. Certainly, nothing could make him feel worse.

"Enough," Remus said, stepping between the two of them. "This is childish. You two need to get over childhood feuds. Put down your wands right now."

"Moony, get out of this!" Sirius ordered, trying to push him aside.

Remus stood his ground. "I'm not leaving until you two put your wands down. I have full right to give you both detentions."

"So do I," Snape spat.

There was a tense silence.

Suddenly, without warning, Snape made a silent movement with his wand. A spell with tremendous force hit Remus, and he went flying and landed with a loud thud on the ground.

Sirius let out a roar of rage. He started shouting out random spells, whichever one came to mind. He wanted to destroy. He needed to destroy. There was no more Remus there to stop him, no more barriers. He would destroy until his pain went away.

A small crowd had gathered to watch. One spell in particular hit Snape full in the face and when he got back up from the ground, his nose was bleeding.

"Maybe now your grease can wash out, you slimeball," Sirius spat. The crowd cheered.

Snape, face livid, sent a couple of spells flying at Sirius. But Sirius dodged them, laughing. "Give me a challenge, Snivellus," he taunted, still laughing. Sirius waved his wand, and another spell hit Snape full-force. Snape keeled over.

Sirius laughed again triumphantly. Peter stood against the wall, thoroughly scared. Sirius raised his wand again.

"STOP!" a voice shouted loudly.

Snape and Sirius both whipped around to see Lily and James striding toward them. Lily's hair seemed to crackle with electricity. "Clear the area, now," she commanded. The small crowd of people immediately scurried away, not wanting to face the wrath of Lily Evans.

"Severus, are you alright?" Lily asked, offering a hand to Snape.

Snape glared at her and got up himself. Lily withdrew her hand.

"A week's worth of detention," James said, glaring at Snape.

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Fine," he spat. "I'll honor you and the Mudblood."

"What did you call her?" James said angrily, starting toward Snape.

"James, let it go," Lily said impatiently. "Snape. Hospital wing. Now."

Snape glared at her one last time before he grudgingly set off to the hospital wing.

James and Lily turned as one to face Remus, who was now recovering on the ground, and Sirius, whose hollow laughter had not quite died from his face.

"Sirius, why did you do that?" James asked. "You don't have to curse Snape all the time, you know."

Sirius stared at him. This couldn't be James speaking. No, it couldn't. It was Lily speaking through him, wasn't it? The old James would never say something like that…

His face hardened. "Old habits die hard," he snapped.

James looked at Sirius, trying to figure out what had happened to his best friend. There was so much that they didn't say to each other. James was beginning to feel like he didn't know Sirius anymore.

"James," Lily said with a hint of impatience. "Hurry up, will you? You know what you have to do. We have patrol to do."

Remus finally stood up, and his heart began to beat faster. Was James seriously about to do what Remus thought he was going to do?

"Lily," James began, voice betraying a hint of pleading.

"James," Lily said quietly, firmly. "Just do it. You have to."

James looked away from Sirius, trying to keep his hands from shaking. He looked at Lily, whose green eyes were boring holes straight through him. "A week of detention, Sirius," he said, and every word shook violently. "Don't do it again."

He chanced a look back at Sirius. Sirius stared at him, eyes hollow. All the color had drained from his face. He looked gaunt, skeletal, and his eyes were so full of hurt that James could barely look at him without cringing.

Then, without a word, Sirius turned on his heels and strode quickly away

James let out a shuddering breath. "I can't believe I just did that," he whispered. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he saw both Remus and Peter gaping at him in disbelief.

"You did the right thing," Lily said impatiently. "Now let's go, we're supposed to be patrolling, not standing in one area."

James waved goodbye to Remus and Peter, and disappeared with Lily down the hall.

"What just happened?" Peter asked Remus fearfully.

Remus's mind was reeling. James had just given Sirius detention. Sirius was used to detention, but from James…Remus recalled the times he was too scared to give his friends detention back in fifth and sixth year. He knew James had too much courage, but sadly it probably wasn't the right time to use it.

Remus shook his head. "I wish I knew," he sighed sadly. "All I know is that this is not going to help Sirius's temper."


James arrived back at the common room late at night. He cringed every time he thought about what had happened an hour ago. Shaking his head, he shuddered, and clambered up to the dorm room.

As he pushed open the door, he found the light on. Remus was still up, reading a book for transfiguration. Peter was trying to charm a quill. Sirius, however, was asleep, his loud snores filling up the room. James looked at him suspiciously. Sirius never went to sleep before Remus and Peter, and he didn't snore.

"Moony, is he asleep?" James asked Remus quietly.

Remus gave him a look that plainly indicated that he refused to answer.

James sighed and walked beside Sirius's bed. "Padfoot, I'm sorry, alright? I know you're awake." James paused. "I had no choice."

Sirius sprung up from his bed at once, with eyes full of fury. His fists were balled tightly into his clamped, damp hands, and they were shaking slightly. "You did have a choice," he spat, glaring at James so coldly that James shivered involuntarily. Remus, sitting on the side, closed his eyes.

"Sirius," James began, but Sirius abruptly turned away from James and snatched up the covers from his own bed.

"Where are you going?" James asked Sirius as Sirius kicked his way to the door.

"I'm not sleeping here," he said icily, and slammed the dormitory door behind him.

"Padfoot, come back here!" James said loudly, flinging the door open and rushing out of it on Sirius's heel. "Can't we talk about some of this? Hell! I didn't have a bloody choice, Sirius!"

Sirius was halfway down the stairs by now, stomping quickly as if his life depended on it. He ignored James.

"What was I supposed to do?" James said, panting, trying to keep up with Sirius. "Sirius. Stop!" He caught hold of the neck of Sirius's shirt.

Sirius stopped and whipped around so abruptly that James let go. His face was convoluted and contorted in a mixture of anger and confusion. "What were you supposed to do?" he growled, each word ringing with disbelief. "You were supposed to keep to our promise. You were supposed to think of your friends."

James clenched his jaw. "This is my job, Sirius."

"And you're becoming so attached to it," Sirius said dryly. "Why don't you go marry it? Or is Lily your job? I'm sure you love to do it, then."

James did a double-take and glared at Sirius angrily. "How could you," he said in anger. His voice shook.

Sirius shook his head. His eyes were stormy and lost, filled with something almost inhuman. "How could you?" he said hoarsely. Sirius gathered up his covers roughly in his arms and continued on his rampage out of the common room.

"Sirius, stop," James said again forcefully. With the quick agile style of a Quidditch player, he lunged and once again caught Sirius by the neck of his shirt. Sirius once again whipped around forcefully, but this time, James did not let go.

"You let go of me, Potter," Sirius seethed.

"No," James said firmly. "Not until I know what's bothering you. We need to talk."

"I have nothing to talk to you about," Sirius said, baring his teeth. "Let me go. Now." He pulled out his wand and aimed it at James's face.

James stood his ground, staring forcefully into the unreadable anger in Sirius's face. He thought he saw a trace of hurt pass by.

Sirius glared at James. His face fully read that he would curse James if James didn't let go. But James glared staunchly back. His face plainly told Sirius that letting go was not an option.

With a quick movement, Sirius clenched his jaw and brought down his wand in a swift movement. James flinched and withdrew his hand as if it had been burned. Sirius gave one last vindictive look at James before disappearing out of the portrait hole.

James stood in the middle of the common room, massaging his hand. Shaking his head in disbelief, he trekked back up to the dormitory.

"What happened?" Peter asked as James reentered the room. "Where's Padfoot?"

"Gone," James sighed. "I don't know why he's making such a big deal out of this."

Remus couldn't help but glaring at James.

James caught this. "Remus, you don't think I should apologize, should I?" he asked disbelievingly. "I'm not even sure why he's so mad. Help me, Moony."

Remus looked back down at his book. "I can't help you, James, not this time. Work it out yourselves."

"But-" James started.

"No," Remus said firmly.

James looked at his friend, and wondered if he really had waited too long to speak.


James stepped sleepily into the corridor that contained the Room of Requirement. It was six in the morning, and a Friday. James never woke up this early, especially when Remus was still sleeping, but he needed to work things out with Sirius. Sirius was not in the common room when James had woken up this morning, and James had a hunch that Sirius was in the Room of Requirement.

"Alright," James whispered out loud to himself. He thought explicitly of what Sirius would think if he needed a place to crash for the night.

I need a place to crash for the night, he thought over and over again as he paced back and forth in front of the room.

The third time, a door appeared. James threw open the door excitedly, but the room was empty. On a big bed, however, James spied Sirius's blankets. He groaned. "Oh come on," he said out loud to no one in particular.

James tore out of the room and thundered down to the Great Hall. Sirius had to be there. After all, he was always hungry. But when James reached the long tables, a couple of scattered Gryffindors sat, eating-and not one of them were Sirius. James swore loudly. It was lucky that most of the teachers had not arrived to breakfast yet.

James waited patiently until class. He waited for Sirius to appear, but Sirius did not appear until the last second, and then chose a seat far away from the Marauders. Frustrated, James tried to reach him after class, but Sirius was out of sight before James could even talk to him. The next class James showed up at the last minute, hoping to catch Sirius. To his dismay, he found Sirius sitting a lone in the corner, shrouded by a bunch of giggling girls that James did not dare go near. Once again, Sirius tore out of the classroom before James had any chance to speak to him. Remus watched the events unfold, slightly amused at how well Sirius knew James even in times of discord.

Finally, after their last class, James managed to get hold of Sirius as he attempted to flee out of the room.

"Sirius, we need to talk," James said firmly, wrenching Sirius's arm tightly.

Sirius kept on walking, ignoring the pain on his arm.

"Aren't we marauders?" James said pleadingly. "Sirius, talk to me."

Sirius's face was instantly darkened. "Marauders?" he said, voice shaking so badly James loosened the grip on his arm. "You ask me if we are marauders?" He threw back his head and let out a derisive laugh. When he turned his face back to James, his eyes were wild. "You forgot," Sirius spat. "You forgot us."

"Sirius," James began.

"Get away from me," Sirius said, turning away from James. "There is nothing to talk about." He wrenched his arm from the now-loosened grip of James and sped out of sight, lost among the milling crowd.

The afternoon sun shone coldly on James's face. The bitterness of winter had not died, and had not yet been replaced by verdure. Gray clouds loomed, threatening rainfall. James looked out grimly upon the open doors of the entrance hall, lost.


Sirius snatched up the map and studied it eagerly. He knew that James still needed Lily's permission to go on patrol. The thought of Lily and James made him seethe, so he shook it out of his mind.

Peter was in the library doing some last-minute studying, and McGonagall was coming to retrieve Remus any minute. Sirius stood up. He was too angry to wait for James. He stole out of the dormitory and down the stairs, where he saw the robes of McGonagall and Remus disappear out the portrait hole. Smiling hollowly, Sirius steadied the map in his hands and proceeded out of the common room as well.

Sirius walked along slowly, meandering. He felt a certain relief and savage pleasure in realizing that James was not going to have the map. A part of Sirius wished James would be caught sneaking out, but he then shook his head, thinking of how badly that would damage Remus.

Sirius was so preoccupied that he didn't even notice Peter, who he passed. Peter stared at Sirius and the map, too scared to speak up. Checking the map every so often, Sirius wandered down to the Whomping Willow.

Once there, he conjured up a long stick, and stuck it through the slashing branches to press the knot. He slid down the hole and into the tunnel. Once there, Sirius felt like crying. "AAARGH!" Sirius screamed. He drew back his fist and punched the wall of the tunnel with all his might. He felt his skin scrape, and he felt the thick blood trickle down his hand, but he didn't care. The pain was welcome.

Sinking down to the ground, he shook his hand, so that droplets of blood splattered upon the damp earth. Sirius shook his head. Digging his heels into the ground, he forced himself back up, and threw his body forward. The caked, drying blood on his hand made movement uncomfortable, but the pain hadn't sunken in yet.

Back in the common room, James had just met up with Peter.

"Where the hell is Sirius?" James growled, pacing back and forth. "I don't care if we're in a fight, he cannot jeopardize Remus's life."

"I saw him walking down to the Whomping Willow," Peter spoke up.

James wheeled around. "What?" he said disbelievingly.

"He had the map," Peter said helplessly.

"Why didn't you stop him?" James asked.

"I was too scared," Peter said in a small voice.

James breathed in heavily. He closed his eyes, then opened them again. "Alright, Wormtail, we're leaving."

"How?" Peter asked, terrified. "We don't have the map!"

James squatted down and pulled the invisibility cloak out of his trunk. "Let's just hope there's no strong wind," he said grimly.

Back in the tunnel, Sirius was still leaning against the wall. Suddenly, thunder cracked menacingly, and Sirius heard rain falling to the ground. Torrents of the rain splattered, and some made its way down the hole and into the tunnel. Sirius blindly stumbled to the hole leading to the tunnel. The Willow was thrashing even harder, as if trying to fight against the raindrops. Sirius stood at the hole, and felt the occasional splatters of rain pound his face.

He opened his mouth and let out a chilling laugh. It echoed darkly through the tunnel, sound bouncing off and reverberating in every direction. Sirius knew he had been laughing too often, and he knew Remus worried about him. But he couldn't stop. It was his way to deal. It was his easy way out.

Through the rain, he could see two figures suddenly appearing by the Willow, and in squinting his eyes, saw it to be James and Peter. Sirius stumbled back into the tunnel, and gasped, breathing in the damp air. He picked up the Marauder's Map from the muddy ground. It was covered in specks of mud, but he didn't care at the moment. His legs sinking into the mud, Sirius made his way to the Shrieking Shack.

"Where were you?" Remus asked Sirius as he trampled in.

"In the tunnel," Sirius said tonelessly.

Remus searched his friend with widened eyes, noting the Marauder's Map in Sirius's bloody hand, noting the state of his drenched clothes. "Where are James and Peter?" he asked, voice dropping.

Sirius looked at Remus, then looked down at the ground.

"Sirius, what did you do?' Remus asked, voice now rising, a panic coming into his voice. "Where are they?"

"Right here," James said. He and Peter entered into the tunnel, cloak in hand.

"Thank God," Remus breathed. "I thought you two weren't going to make it."

James wasn't listening to him. He dropped the cloak, which Peter immediately picked up, and strode straight over to Sirius, drew back his hand and punched him in the face. "You selfish bastard," he spat.

Sirius flinched from the punch, and looked at James with hollow eyes. He didn't respond with anything, but simply stood there, arms rigid, hand clutching the map. The two stared at each other for what seemed like hours.

"Guys, Remus is transforming!" Peter yelled suddenly, backing away. Both James and Sirius turned and saw Remus go rigid. With one last glare at each other, they both transformed into their animagi forms.

Moony stopped transforming, and stared at the stag and the dog blankly. Prongs stared at the wolf right back. He was expecting Moony to lunge, but the next thing he knew, a blurry shape had knocked him backward. Staggering up, Prongs stared into the snarling face of Padfoot. Prongs' eyes narrowed dangerously. This is not the time to take out aggression! he wanted to shout. But he couldn't.

Moony, instead of howling, scratching or biting, simply stood, rather transfixed by the scene before his eyes. Wormtail eyed the scene nervously, on edge.

Padfoot's eyes were full of a wild fury, an uncontrollable anger. Sirius didn't even feel like he had control over his body-it seemed like his anger was controlling him. He was mad at James. For the first time, he realized he was truly mad at his best friend. He lunged wildly again for Prongs. Prongs was ready for him. Just like he would do to Moony, he fended Padfoot off and pushed him away with his antlers.

Sirius could feel his blood pumping. He was almost blind to what he was doing, but he couldn't regain control. It was as if a second monster had been created. He lunged full-force at Prongs, this time successfully knocking the stag off his feet. Before James could fend himself in any way, Padfoot once again flew into the air and slammed on top of Prongs. Dazed, James could only do what he could. He fended off the attacks, and occasionally threw in a kick or a lunge.

Wormtail was staring, terrified at the events. He decided to turn and see what Moony was doing…and saw Moony prancing toward the tunnel, sneering. Wormtail let out an alarming squeak-Remus had not fought his way back, and Moony, seizing the opportunity, was sneaking out of the tunnel.

It took Prongs a few moments to realize Wormtail's squeaks. As he saw the shadow of Moony disappear into the darkness of the tunnel, he tried to wrench himself away from the attacking Padfoot. It took a couple of tries, but he finally broke free, and tore into the tunnel, Padfoot on his heels.

The rain was beating down mercilessly. Prongs panicked-he could not see the shape of moony through the downpour, though he did notice the lashing of the trees had stopped. He cautiously stepped out, and was immediately thrown down onto the floor by Padfoot, who had knocked him over. The two rolled down out of the tree's vicinity, the mud covering their bodies, their wounds. Neither could properly open their eyes. Prongs was desperately defending himself. Padfoot was growling and lunging. Wormtail had finally made his way out of the tunnel and was now trying to run in between the raindrops.

In the shield of dark and rain, Prongs could distinctly hear humming from far away. Padfoot heard it too, for he had stopped and his ears had perked up. The rain distorted the noise, but Padfoot was almost sure that it was Hagrid approaching the entrance of the castle, near where they were rolling around at this moment. Both Sirius and James froze and looked at each other.

Out of nowhere bounded a black shape, hurtling toward the sound of Hagrid's voice. Prongs reacted immediately. Dashing at top speed, he reached Moony and lunged at him, pinning the wolf down with his antlers. Moony growled menacingly. The humming was getting closer, and now the distinct light of a lantern could be seen protruding out of the darkness.

With a sudden bite, Moony escaped the grips of Prongs' antlers, and hurtled once more toward the speck of light. Prongs once again gave chase, and was praying to God Hagrid would not hear the oncoming werewolf. Luckily, the downpour gave an extremely heave shield both in sight and in hearing.

Prongs intercepted Moony and tackled him out of Hagrid's way. Hagrid had now stopped. He had undoubtedly seen something move. "Who's ou' there?" he boomed, swinging the lantern around him.

Prongs was trying desperately to pin down Moony again. The werewolf was still for a moment-then it grinned evilly and once again wrenched itself from Prongs. Prongs got up again to give chase, but before he could reach Moony, Moony had set its paw straight into the mud, and lunged straight at Hagrid.

The blurry vision of Padfoot tackled Moony in midair. Hagrid's attention was now fully turned to the shape that had passed him straight by. "Who's ou' there?" he boomed once again through the roaring rain. He swung around wildly a couple of times. Prongs held his breath. Nearby, Wormtail was squeaking madly, running around in a circle.

Padfoot and Moony had rolled down the mud now and were struggling against each other near the edge of the forbidden forest. To Prongs's horror, Hagrid now turned and walked slowly in that direction. Thinking fast, he picked up Wormtail with his antlers and threw him blindly at Hagrid. All the years of Quidditch training in the rain with the Quaffle came together. The rat hit Hagrid in the face, and Hagrid was distracted. He swung his lantern round and round, but could not see anything that had attacked him, as Wormtail was so small.

It bought enough time. Padfoot and Moony had retreated into the depths of the forest, and were now out of sight completely. After another pause, Hagrid started walking and humming loudly again, heading toward the castle. Immediately, Prongs bounded near the forest and joined in the fray in trying to subdue Moony.

Hours passed, and Remus finally gained control, but he did not look at either Padfoot or Prongs the entire time. The four animals retreated back to the Shack. Padfoot's energy seemed completely worn. James was still angry at Sirius. It was a tense time until the sun came up. Remus transformed back peacefully. Then Sirius retrieved the map and left alone. James glared at Sirius's retreating back before beckoning to Peter. They both slipped on the invisibility cloak and sped out of sight before Madam Pomfrey entered the Shack.