12G+ABAJ Ch.39 Part 1- I Hate Mondays
"Mondays; oh how I absolutely loathe Mondays." Julianne groaned.
"Did Garfield not get his morning lasagna?" Quinn asked teasingly.
"Sometimes, I hate you.-So, how is it going with you and Sam?" Julianne asked.
"Me and Sam!" Quinn laughed, "What the heck have you been smoking!"
"Oh. COME. ON! You guys look like an adorable pair!" Julianne said, nudging Quinn, "And who wouldn't be into you?"
Quinn laughed, "The world. Besides, I think he's set his sights on someone else."
"Meh, I won't meddle.-I'll see you when I see you, crazycakes."
"See you, honeybear." and with that, Julianne went into Math. Quinn sighed a defeated sigh, "It's you."
Julianne took her assigned seat between her brother and Artie.
When the class was dismissed, Artie and Julianne were hanging out in the halls.
Julianne laughed, "Yeah, I'm glad you guys came."
"Me too.-Hey Julianne, can I ask you a question?"
"Shoot."
"Would you date me?"
"Yeah, for sure if I wasn't dating David."
"Question. Why?" Artie asked.
"Well, your sweet, generous, kind, considerate, you can play a mean guitar, your voice is fabulous, and your personality is absolutely delightful."
"And my looks?"
"Cute, nerdy, and adorable; I'd totally go for you."
Artie smiled, "Thanks."
"For what?"
"That."
"Hey, I'm just telling it like I see it, kid."
Artie chuckled, "Sometimes I feel you're much older than me."
Julianne laughed, "Why thank you, hon." she tussled Artie's hair and smiled, "One day, you'll be great, kiddo." and walked away.
Rachel sat in the choir room massaging her temple; she had spent half of first period doing that in the nurse's office.
Rachel closed her eyes for a moment, and a picture of Sunshine Corazon was there.
She opened her eyes and sat confused, and then dozed off.
A time and date suddenly flashed in front of a familiar cafe: October 25, 6:38pm.
Then came a sight she'd seen before: back in her basement in her wedding dress with Kurt and Isabella. This time, Rachel didn't have her phone with her. Suddenly, an older Julianne came down the stairs. "They told me you'd be down here." she made her way to Rachel and hugged her, "Oh I've missed you!"
"The same! How is it on Broadway?"
"Same old, same old; whiny newbies with blisters, shouting directors, bright-as-fuck stage lights. Eh, but it's all in a day's work.-And how's the Principal position working out for you?"
"It's great! I'm trying to start a up a glee club again, but no teacher seems to be interested in the position."
"I heard Karofsky is a laid off teacher, ask him; he was in glee."
Karofsky was in glee? "I'll try him."
"How's your soon-to-be-husband, whom Brittany seems to think I've permanently renamed 'asshole'?"
"Finn is good. Home Depot is treating him well."
"Well that's good; better to have a job you enjoy than not having a job at all!"
"You got that right!" Kurt laughed quietly.
"Kurtie!" Julianne got up and gave Kurt a hug, "You look swell!"
"Thank you. And you look ravishing, as always."
"Thanks. Who is this lady?" Julianne said, pointing to Isabella.
"This is my girlfriend; Isabella Wood."
"Woah. You're straight-let me just have a moment . . . Okay, I'm good."
Julianne shook Isabella's hand, "I'm Julianne Barbra Monica Puckerman Rudetsky-Allen. It's lovely to meet you, lady."
Just then, a little girl ran down the stairs and settled in Julianne's lap.
"Allen? You and Josh tied the knot? When was this?" Kurt asked, surprised.
"Four years ago.-Everybody, this is Sadie."
Rachel opened her eyes, "Every scenario. In every scenario Julianne ends up on Broadway-Why the hell do I get stuck with principal?"
Julianne sat at her normal table with Mercedes, Tina, Quinn, and Rachel.
"How are your days going so far?" Julianne asked the table.
"Hormonal." Tina huffed.
"Headache-y." Rachel said, putting her head down on the table.
"Confusing." Quinn answered.
"Not-so-great." Mercedes sighed.
"May I ask why?" Julianne asked.
"On my period." Tina said blatantly.
"I don't even know." Rachel said, head still on the table.
"Tests." Quinn said, resting her head on her hand.
"No guy wants to get at this." Mercedes moped.
Julianne looked surprised, along with Quinn, Tina, and Rachel, "You said you didn't need a man!"
"Well, everyone's off with their fairytale endings," except for Rachel, "And I'm just . . . Mercedes."
"And I'm Quinn, and she's Tina, and that one's Rachel, and this here is Julianne; we all have eccentricities that hinder us from certain things in life. But, it is those eccentricities that make us stronger."
"Wow. Word for word-I could sue you, you know?" Julianne laughed.
"Used with permission from Julianne Barbra Monica Rudetsky-Puckerman Corporations; a Copyrighted Corporation." Quinn said professionally.
"Thank you." Julianne laughed.
"You see that?" Mercedes sighed.
"See what?" Julianne asked.
"You're perfect." Mercedes said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"You must be mistaken." Julianne said in complete shock. Quinn scoffed. "Quinn? Do you have something to say?"
"I'm sorry! I agree with Mercedes. You have the most perfect voice in the world, you are GORGEOUS, your sense of humor is enhanced because of your awesome family, you have an awesome family, you can cook, you can bake, you can play various instruments, and everyone basically LOVES YOU." Quinn explained.
"You're kidding me, right?" the other girls shook their heads, "You've got it all wrong. I have a so-so voice, I'm . . . blazé looking, my sense of humor is just adult humor, I'm an avid chef, I find I'm a tad rusty on the instruments, I'm sure not everyone loves me, and . . . well, my family is pretty awesome."
"And you're so HUMBLE AND NICE!" Tina groaned, "You don't even see your absolute perfection!"
Then, Santana and Brittany came to the table. "What are you talking about?" Santana asked.
"Julianne is perfect." Rachel stated.
"That is true." Santana said, sitting down next to Rachel.
"It is." Brittany said, sitting next to Tina.
"You guys have got it ALL WRONG!" Julianne protested.
"Shut up." Santana got up, grabbed three football players, and returned to the table. "Julianne, stand up." Julianne obeyed, curious (like all the others) as to what Santana was doing, "If I told you three that she was available, could cook, sing, is flexible, has a perfect GPA and also has perfect attendance, would you date her?-Oh, and names before you answer."
"Brandon. Yeah."
"Paul. Totally."
"Nick. Yes."
"Paul, Brandon, and Nick, why would you date her?" Santana asked.
"She's perfect." the guys said in unison.
"I rest my case.-You may leave now, boys." the boys left, and Santana sat back down.
"All of you are crazy! And everyone's perfect in unusual ways, no human can truly be perfect-I'm pretty sure that defies the laws of nature." Julianne laughed.
"Your voice and your LAUGH-HOW CAN YOU SOUND LIKE A FRIGGIN' SPOONFUL OF SUGAR ALL THE FRIGGIN' TIME!" Tina exclaimed.
"If you guys don't stop this, I'm leaving." Julianne warned.
"No! STAY MARY POPPINS!" Santana whined.
Julianne stood, "Goodbye." and walked away.
"Mary Poppins: practically perfect in every way." Quinn smiled, "Copyrighted, Walt Disney."
Julianne took the only open seat in the table next to Sam; the other seats were occupied by Puck, Mike, Matt, Paul, Brandon, Nick, and Artie sat in his wheelchair at the table.
"Hey Jules, what are you doing here?" Puck asked while picking up his pizza slice.
"The girls keep saying I'm perfect, complimenting me, and moping around; I CAN'T STAND IT!" Julianne explained.
"It doesn't seem so bad to me." Matt said.
"Yeah! So what's the problem?" Mike asked.
"I was sitting at a table filled with GORGEOUS, TALENTED, and INTELLIGENT women who don't realize their own worth! And when I TRY to talk sense into them, they won't listen, and go on about how I'm supposedly perfect!" Julianne groaned, and put her head on the table.
"Well, you-"
"Shut up, Noah." Julianne sighed.
"Anything else on your mind while we're still mentally present?" Puck asked.
"I reaaaaallly want some french fries." she answered.
"I want them all the time." Julianne and Mike said in unison.
Julianne lifted her head from the table, "Great minds think alike, Chang." the guys at the table laughed.
