Chapter Forty-Four

It was interesting, I decided looking around the large glade dedicated to the celebration that was the last of the summer season and the herald of the changing of the guard as it were. They mingled and mixed with those around them as easily as any others, though even in plain clothes I could pick out which were members of the mixed guard enjoying the music and the camaraderie from my vantage point, just inside the inner circles, currently my gaze flicked past where Rumil and his twin were teaching Autumn and another elf to play chess and the easy touch of his fingers against her shoulder to capture her attention was sweet to watch - I knew a tentative courtship beginning when I saw one, though my sister didn't yet know it... I was partly relieved for it meant that unlike my experiences, Autumn would learn that relationships were meant to be kind, and enjoyed.

"It's almost too sweet watching it, huh?" Nikki appeared at my shoulder, her tone low to avoid being heard by them, "But good for her."

"She of all of us, deserves her happy ending." I agreed gently looking up at Nikki, "let her have it." I said quietly getting to my feet and wandering away from her as well.

"Raina, you're the one who deserves the happy ending." Nikki murmured turning in time to see that the celebration was getting into full swing - there was laughter and dancing when she saw Tommy.

He had taken care to dress this time, she smiled to herself taking in the image of him in the near-twilight framed by the falling sun maybe not perfect, heavens knew the man had a wicked temper at times but the mischief in his eyes and the easy smile made her forget the hurt that still sometimes nagged at her. The hurt that had partly driven a wedge between them despite two children, when his gaze found hers looking as she did for him he for her and met the rest of the world faded away. It always did when, even from halfway across the glade his eyes met hers, both unaware the look had been seen.

"And that, is why they work." I murmured to myself with a small sad smile to disguise the hole in my heart.

"They've done that forever," Destiny said from my left, smiling as Jason's arms were wrapped around her shoulders, partly a possessive gesture but also an affectionate one, "Their eyes meet and the rest of us can dance naked and neither one would notice."

"There's an idea," Elladan remarked cheerfully coming up behind Jason and Destiny, "Though I'm pretty sure that'd be getting me the riot act."

"We'd never do it anyway," Jason remarked kissing Destiny's temple with a laugh, "Nothing good for anyone else's eyes would come of it anyway."

"Yeah, really I have no room in my brain for the picture of what you two do behind your bedroom door thanks, I see the end result that's enough for me." Kris said approaching somewhat cautiously.

"Hey, if you really want front row seats, just me know." Jason laughed at Kris' horrified look, "Seriously, Kris really do you think I'm interested in anyone else knowing what I do with Des?"

"I figure not," Kris admitted as their conversation began swirling from topic to topic again which allowed me the luxury of letting my mind wander, which it had been trying to do for the bulk of the evening as it was.

"Where's she going?" I vaguely heard the question as I began wandering around the area enjoying the warmth of the bonfire, the sometimes flashing energy of the people around me, even as my fingers began toying with the chain to the pendant that was surely the answer to my riddle of why everything was as familiar as it was, such as my ability to fluently communicate with the elves, and why I just knew some things was found within the well-cut gem.

I selected a seat just outside the warm orange-red ring of the bonfire close enough to feel the warmth of the flames but not be quite as visible as I had been previously while trying to mingle among different people. I removed the chain from around my neck and dangled it thoughtfully before my eyes between my line of sight and the flame so that the light would bounce and be reflected off of the shining surface of the gem and the metal, which glowed a gentle red in the firelight.

Little bit by little bit the sense of déjà vu continued to course over my mind, that feeling that I'd been somewhere or done something before and this time the sense wouldn't quite fade the way it had been since the feel of falling had come over me and landed my mixed-up and traumatic family into the woods of Lothlorien... a realm of the elves.

In the fire light dancing along the pale blue gem I saw the box being handed to me, and the quiet, intense look of the elf handing it to me... waiting as I opened the box to receive the necklace the sense of winter's chill permeating the dancing image which would blur and spin into the next image again leaving me transfixed on the spinning pendant...

"Elrond?" the voice was concerned as the speaker's hand quickly rescued the glass of wine in his hand, the other reaching out as his body lurched as if struck. "Are you well?" Erestor asked casting an urgent glance a few yards away where Glorfindel stood chatting with several others.

"Yes, Erestor." Came the automatic answer, one that the chief counselor knew was a lie, causing his hand to rest on his friend's shoulder lightly, "I am well, it was as if I were struck for a few ..." he trailed off as a second, jabbing stab of emotion cut through his defenses reaching blindly for the nearby table to steady himself.

"No, you're not." Erestor stated firmly aiming to push Elrond to sit down in one of the chairs as realization dawned on both of them, grey eyes meeting darker ones.

"I am fine, it is someone else who is not." Elrond corrected his friend moving to step around Erestor realizing that there was only one possible source of emotion as strong as to be able to cause him physical pain. Raina.

He didn't find her right away not with the flickering fire, and the moving people meandering through the glade as aimless as any celebration attendee would truly be doing which impeded the location of a single, small human female.

"Elrond?" the concern in Nikki's voice, as well the echoing pain, "Is everything okay, I mean I'm used to her tilting emotions but ..."

"I know." Elrond's answer was curt, bordering into rude but Nikki was far too distracted to really call him on it, "Have you seen your sister?" he asked drawing in a deep breath as the jab this time was as painful as a dagger through the chest would be causing him to have to hold his breath while trying to split his attention enough to restore the festive balance to the celebration without twisting the emotions he wanted to locate and calm, preferably with little fuss.

This he realized with a jolt was going to happen, partly as Nikki began circling the celebration, he saw organizing her sisters to help neutralize the violent swing of what could only be Raina's emotions so that the celebration for the Galadhrim could continue. It was telling of the faith Nikki had in each of her sisters, who were by then each circling an area - Willow included which was a larger surprise even if she was only interacting with his sons, Elrond counted that a victory as at last he caught sight of the twinkle of metal against the firelight twirling and dancing.

Flowering vines - beautiful, deadly and fragile. Elrond thought to himself as he approached where Raina sat, cloaked in fire and shadow, the light dancing off of the twirling pendant dangling from her fingertips. The faraway look to her eyes and the coursing pain in her features was telling as she stared into the pendant, from which there was dancing firelight and as he came closer, flickering images of a past that brought him a sense of bittersweet wish.

Elrond lowered his weight to the ground slightly behind the trembling figure reaching out with his hand to touch her neck and shoulder, feeling her muscles tense at the touch and then relax under the touch as the pendant tumbled from her fingers. It spiraled out of her fingertips and tumbled into the soft grass before her feet a twinkle of shining mithril and blue stone as Raina's knees pulled up to her chest.

Elrond's touch firmed on the back of her neck, only enough to ensure that she was certain that he was really, truly real as his other arm circled around to rest atop her hands, his own large enough comparatively to cover both of hers as he sensed the dam break and the trembling increased so much so that he was no longer sure if she shook with shock, grief or utter disbelief as the year they'd had crashed down along her sharp mind. "Shh," he whispered gently against her hair, "I'm right here,"

"Really real," Despite himself, Elrond smiled faintly at the stunned whisper as her hand pried itself free of his to reach for the pendant her fingers wrapping around the cool metal chain blindly as she drew in a deep, steadying breath before turning to face him, "You knew." she said in an undertone as his hands closed behind her as she did.

"I did," he answered lowly opting for the honesty she demanded, the faint smile curling the corners of his lips slightly, "It was better to let you determine for yourself, if what we had - the things you half-remembered were dream, wish or real."

It all really happened... I'm not crazy ... it's all really real... My mind reeled and rocked with the realization that I hadn't truly lost my mind in the last year was more than half a relief by then as I felt his hands move up to rest on my shoulders drawing me into a closer embrace than I'd dared let anyone except for Glorfindel chance.

"Really, really real." he answered softly as I breathed in the scent of him even amid the smoky fire, the exotic seeming flowers in bloom all around, I could catch his own - that sea-salt tang mixed with a spice I couldn't quite name as the laugh burbled out of my chest watery as a sea-grave as my eyes burned.

I sucked in several breaths and felt the soothing balm of his own gift, less a curse for him than it was for me work through my frazzled nerves blanketing them in an affection that held in it the promise of something much more real than that. "Yes, quite real." he answered softly beginning to stand reaching to help me to my feet, "What we will do, is play their game a little longer with this celebration, an hour perhaps and then we will quietly disappear until the morning when it is time to say our farewells and from there... let come what may."

Organized chaos, I decided as I approached the staging area for those leaving for Rivendell, and enjoyed the frantic energy of it. At the center were three elves, directing, soothing, and in one case I saw with a chuckle that my young nephew had decided to take a liking to Elrond, pulling at his robe sleeve even as Elrond gave further direction.

Without missing a beat he turned and picked up the boy and placed him on his shoulders where the vantage point was priceless and, for me poignant. I gave myself the minute to enjoy the view of it and silently laughed as he passed a treat up to the child even as I heard Nikki's admonishment not to waiting until her back was turned.

For another quarter-hour it was indeed pure chaos, as children were placed into carriages, and horses were readied for the journey and I turned to see that at least one surprising figure was preparing for the journey; I had expected Autumn to want to stay in Lorien, given that she and Rumil were dancing a familiar dance.

"Is there anything you don't do well?" I heard Kris ask as I was given the boost up onto a large black stallion who shifted a moment under my weight before settling down as well.

I laughed a moment and turned the horse around by the lead rope and looked down at her, "Sure there is, I don't do inter-personal relationships with any grace or skill."

"Point." Kris agreed reluctantly as the large group of us began heading down the first steps to the long path.

I was quiet, thoughtful as I realized that this must've been the path another woman took several times in a long life and let the guide-guard by the horse's head lead both the horse and myself as I allowed myself the steeping thoughts to pass the time until I looked up and the evening twilight had fallen around all of us, and camp was being set up.

It would be the first of a fortnights' worth of nights and days of travelling and wandering with fortunately uneventful days and nights that made me edgy as the first lines of the elven realm of Rivendell began approaching. I heard the rush of the wide river that made up one barrier and sensed the jubilation of the elves around me to be so close to home that little could be said for it but relief...