Little Moments
Chapter 54: Watching You Sleep
Disclaimer: Still the same thing here. I don't own anything.
A/N: Sorry for the wait guys. I had a huge research paper due today and had to get it done. My review count was down last chapter which was a blow to my review loving fingers, but thank you to those of you who did. I was hesitant to post this chapters since some of you may not like it. It's the one I had y'all vote on so for those of you who wanted it, I hope it meets your expectations. It picks up right after episode 5.12 (Hundred) ended. Enjoy.
OTHOTH
The last few hours of Nathan and Haley's life had been torture in the most traumatic of ways. Their son had been kidnapped and it had only been about forty five minutes since he'd been safely brought back.
With Jamie home, Nathan could breathe easy. It wasn't all smiles though. Physically there was a pain spiraling through his jaw and his right hand was beginning to bruise. Nathan and Lucas had gotten into a scuffle with their father outside and consequentially punches were thrown. Even with Dan becoming a hero for a little while, it didn't make things better. To everyone else he was still the villain.
Lucas was the only one left at the house and knew it was time to go. Haley was carrying Jamie in her arms and walked Lucas to the door. She knew that she could probably put her son down but she didn't want to. Haley was never letting him get away from her. He was going to be safe in her arms.
Haley looked to Lucas, regret filling her eyes, "Listen, I know things didn't go as planned with..."
The light haired guy shook his head, "I'm just glad he's back." Lucas didn't want to talk about Lindsey. Not now. He reached out and patted the little boy on the arm, "I'm glad you're home Jamie."
Jamie didn't say anything. He only nodded then buried his head into Haley's neck.
Nathan walked up and glanced at Lucas. He wanted to say sorry for the wedding, sorry that Dan was back, and sorry that everything happened the way it did. Lucas and Lindsey's wedding day was going to be the talk of the town for weeks, and not in a good way.
Nathan cleared his throat and looked at his brother, "I'll see you later."
Lucas looked from Haley to Nathan and his heart broke for the two of them. Lucas knew that Nathan would be back at his place within the hour since he was still staying with him. Lucas extended his hand and Nathan shook it.
Haley saw Nathan grimace when the guys shook hands and walked off towards the kitchen.
Nathan watched her carry Jamie away and dropped his head toward the ground, "What am I going to do?"
Lucas took a deep breath, "Just hang in there. You two will work it out."
"I don't know man." Nathan sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair.
Lucas tilted his head toward the kitchen, "Talk to her, tell her what's on your mind."
Nathan looked longingly toward the kitchen and nodded. He knew that was exactly what he needed to do but now wasn't the time. Haley had just been through the worst kind of emotional turmoil a mother could go through. It definitely wasn't the time. Nathan heard the front door clicked and turned back to find that Lucas had slipped out. Nathan walked toward the kitchen and saw that Haley sat Jamie on the counter and was running her hands through his hair.
Haley raised her brow, "You getting tired buddy?"
Jamie was eye level with his mom and when he saw Nathan walk into the kitchen he smiled.
Haley was waiting for an answer but noticed Jamie's expression. She turned around and saw Nathan, "Hey."
"Hey."
When Nathan moved next to her she walked away from him. A piece of his heart sank when he realized that she seemed to be avoiding him.
As she walked away from Nathan, Haley made her way to the freezer. She took out a bag of peas and with a warm smile walked back to Nathan. "Here. This might help." Haley gently placed the bag over his right hand.
Nathan felt a sudden burst of hope radiate through his body. Her delicate fingers graced the topside of his hand and it was just what he needed. The fact that she'd gotten him a makeshift icepack was heartwarming. "Thank you."
Haley looked up to him and smiled. She turned to Jamie and stroked the hair just above his ear. She'd found that she couldn't keep her hands off of him. She wanted to be near him, to watch him, to protect him, to hold him. "Why don't we go upstairs and get you out of that tux?"
"Okay." With help from his mom, Jamie hopped off the counter and they walked up the stairs hand in hand.
Alone and holding a very cold bag of peas on his hand, Nathan felt like he wasn't making any progress. It was one step forwards but two steps back. Haley had gotten him the peas but that was it. Nothing more, nothing less. He hadn't said anything and as he stood alone he was kicking himself. He was going to have to work a little harder to show that he wasn't ready to give up on them. On Jamie and Haley, they were his entire world.
He'd decided maybe for the night, Haley would need her space. That was understandable. Tossing the peas back into the freezer he made his way upstairs to tell his son goodnight. As he walked to Jamie's room he saw Haley helping their son get in his pajamas.
"Can I sleep with you tonight, Mama?"
Haley looked at her young son and nodded, "Of course."
Jamie glanced to the man in the door frame, "You too Daddy?"
Nathan didn't know what to say, "Uh...I don't think...."
The sadness that washed over Jamie's face was too much for Haley to take, "Sure he can baby." Haley hesitantly looked back to Nathan. She patted Jaime on the shoulder, "Why don't you go ahead and get under the covers and we'll be in there in just a sec."
Both Nathan and Haley kept their eyes on Jamie as he walked into their room. Nathan looked to Haley and shrugged, "If this makes you uncomfortable I can go."
Haley stood up from her crouch and shook her head, "It'll be good for him. He wants both of us right now."
She started to head to the bedroom but Nathan spoke up, "Hales?" The way that name echoed off his lips made her stop. She turned around to face him and saw kindness in his blue eyes. "Thank you."
Nodding her head, Haley walked to the bedroom. Nathan followed her and didn't know if he should change clothes or what. He had plenty of things to change into, it was their house, but would that give Haley the idea that he was staying? Was he supposed to stay? Should he leave as soon as Jamie was asleep? There were so many questions that couldn't be answered.
Nathan sat down on the bed and started to untie his shoes and he felt Haley set something down next to him. They were clothes. His clothes. Pajamas that he wore often. A simple gray t-shirt and blue flannel pants. He looked at her and said thank you once more. It seemed like the only thing he could say to her lately. Then he found himself in another dilemma. Did he change in front of her, or did he go into the bathroom? Normally he wouldn't have a care in the world about changing in front of her but they were in a different place. He didn't know where they stood.
He heard the bathroom door shut and he quickly changed into his pajamas. When Haley came back out he watched her walk to her side of the bed.
Nathan couldn't help but feel awkward as he slid under the covers. He wish he could make it all go away. He wanted things to be normal.
Haley extended her arms and pulled Jamie close to her chest, "Come here you." Jamie's back fit perfectly against his mom's chest and she rested her cheek on his head, "I love you James Lucas Scott."
"I love you too." Jamie looked across to Nathan and used his pointer finger to signal that Nathan needed to move closer.
Nathan scooted closer and felt his feet briskly touch Haley's. They were freezing and he looked at her, "Are you cold. Do you want another blanket or something?"
She just shook her head and squeezed on to Jamie, "I've got everything I need right here." She kissed Jamie's head and looked the Nathan. She wanted to tell him that he was included in that statement but didn't. Maybe Nathan knew that? Both of them were struggling to find the right things to say to each other, but for the night they could put that aside. Jamie was their main concern.
Nathan reached out and stroked Jamie's shoulder, "Night bud."
"Night Daddy."
He looked to Haley and saw that her eyes were closed. He mouthed the words good night and wondered if she would have said it back if she'd seen him. Nathan closed his eyes and hoped for peaceful dreams, happy dreams, dreams of him and his family together. That's all he wanted.
Haley had her eyes closed but she wasn't asleep. Pictures of what was and what used to be flooded her head. A single tear rolled down her cheek and let her know she definitely wasn't asleep. It had been about five minutes of utter silence and she looked across to the man who lay next to her son, their son, and sighed. It was dark but she could make out his face. She could see that freckle of his on his right cheek and when she looked down she noticed the band on his left hand. That gold ring on his finger seemed to be reflecting the shy moonlight and she looked at her own ring. She hadn't taken it off yet. She wouldn't. She couldn't. Haley had told Nathan that she wanted a divorce but as she thought about it, she couldn't do that to him, to Jamie. Nathan Scott may have messed up but he was still hers and always would be.
She felt Jamie let out a soft whimper and help him close, "Shh, it's okay. I'm right here."
He didn't wake up and Haley ran her hands over his arms soothingly. She wanted to do anything and everything to take away the fear he may have had. She felt another tear glide down her cheek wishing that she could have somehow stopped it all.
OTHOTH
Nathan cracked open his eyes and as his pupils adjusted to the dim light he realized that Haley wasn't in the bed. He started to sit up, careful not to wake Jamie, and noticed that the bathroom light was on. The door was cracked and he could see the sliver of yellow shining through.
He slowly pushed the covers off his body and walked to the door. When he got closer he could hear that Haley was crying. Nathan gently opened the door and saw his wife sitting down by the bathtub. Her red eyes, tear streaks stained her cheeks, and the scattered tissues broke his heart. He'd never seen her so broken.
"Haley?"
She looked up and her chin quivered, "I can't...he's only...." She couldn't speak as each word caught in her throat.
Nathan walked to her and lowered his hands, "Come here."
Haley put her hands in his and he pulled her up. She wiped her face and took a deep breath, "Nathan, I almost lost him. He..." She'd kept having flashes of Jamie gone, of him away, and she couldn't stand it anymore. If sleeping led to nightmares she didn't want to chance it.
"Shh." He gently ran his hand over her cheek, "He's okay Haley. He's home. He's safe."
Her breath hitched and she let out a cry, "But...but, he...." The words literally could not come out of her mouth.
It was painful for Nathan to see her so upset. He took a step closer and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame, "Everything's going to be alright." He felt her start to cry harder and ran his hands over her back trying to soothe her, "Hey, just breathe. Just breathe for a second."
Haley took a few deep breaths and looked at the huge wet mark she'd made on his gray t-shirt. "I've ruined your shirt." She started to get upset again but Nathan intervened.
"That's okay. It's just a t-shirt." He looked down at the wetness and realized it was probably a mixture of snot and tears. It was gross, but he didn't mind.
"I shouldn't have blamed you. I'm sorry." She choked out.
Nathan shook his head, "It's okay, you were upset. Jamie was missing. I understand. I should have been there. I should have protected him."
A tear feel from Haley's eye, "No, Nathan. You couldn't have done anything. We were both just standing at the end of the aisle while our son was taken. It wasn't your fault. I should have done something."
"God Haley, this is not your fault either okay? You did not do this." The last thing Nathan wanted was for her to blame herself. It wasn't Haley's fault.
As she shook her head Haley felt her eyes well with more tears. He needed to stop acting so noble. She was going to get dehydrated if he kept making her cry. She leaned into his chest and felt defeated about the whole situation, "I'm so sorry."
Nathan looked to his tear stained wife with messy hair and rosy cheeks and nodded, "I'm sorry too."
Haley bit her bottom lip and turned away from him. Gathering herself she looked back, "Why us? Why'd this happen to us?"
Nathan didn't have an answer for her, "I don't know." He felt scared that Haley was so upset so he reached out for her again, "But Haley, it's fine. Jamie's fine."
She looked up to him with worried eyes, "But we're not."
It was like a knife went through his heart. They way she said it the way she looked as she said it. Nathan felt the walls caving in. He wasn't going to let that happen, "Haley..."
She wiped a tear off her cheek, "I think, I think that we..." Before she even finished Nathan cut in.
"Don't, don't say it." In his mind the word that he was dreading kept popping up in his brain. Divorce. She's said it to him once and he never wanted to hear it again. Nathan looked into her eyes and used his thumb to wipe another tear away, "I'm not giving this up. Tell me what to do. Tell me what to say."
Haley took a deep breath. She hadn't meant for him to get so defensive. She wasn't going to say those words again. She was only going to suggest that they see someone, "Why don't we go talk to somebody. That might help."
Nathan nodded, "Whatever it takes. If you want us to go talk with someone, I'm there. Sign us up. I'll go."
She loved that he was being so supportive. She softened her tone to a low whisper, "You'll do that?"
"For you." Haley let out another cry and he looked surprised, "Haley? I thought that's what you wanted?"
She wrapped her arms around his back and rested her head on his chest. It was what she wanted. She just couldn't hold in her emotions. "It is." She let her breathing subside, "Thank you."
Nathan kissed her forehead and nodded. She didn't need to thank him for agreeing to it. It wasn't a choice he made or a decision he had to come to. When he saw how broken she'd become, how upset she was about Jamie, he never had a choice.
Haley looked to Nathan, "Will you stay the rest of the night?"
Nodding, Nathan smiled, "I'm not going anywhere."
Swallowing her fears, Haley felt Nathan take her hand in his. They walked back into the bedroom and got on their respective sides of the bed. Jamie didn't stir one bit as his parents moved closer together. Nathan watched as Haley's lids slowly opened and closed and then eventually she was out. Her tired heart was beating slow and he wished that he could do something to help her. What he didn't know was that he already was. Nathan being there, comforting her, telling her things would be okay was just enough to send Haley into a peaceful sleep.
He studied her as she slept. They was she breathed, the little noises she made, how she snuggled close to Jamie. He loved that woman more than he even realized. He wasn't going to let something get between them. They'd been through enough already.
Back when they first got married people said they wouldn't last, that it was a doomed marriage, but after almost six years she was still the one he wanted by his side. The only one he ever loved. The one he needed in his life. That was never going to change.
OTHOTH
It had been three weeks since that terrifying afternoon. Three weeks since Nathan had slept in his own bed. Three weeks since they'd been going to see their therapist. Three weeks had gone by and as a couple Nathan and Haley were taking baby steps. Nathan was still staying at Lucas' but things were getting better.
They had just ended their latest session and Nathan and Haley were walking to their cars. Nathan saw Haley reach into her bag for her keys and spoke up before she got into her car. "Hey, I was thinking maybe after I get Jamie from school we'd go to the rivercourt?"
Haley felt a sharp pain run through her chest. It broke her heart that he even asked, "Nathan, he's your son too you don't have to ask my permission." They had made so much progress over the last three weeks that in saddened her to hear it.
He shrugged, "I just...I just wanted to run it by you."
Nodding, Haley pulled out her keys, "I think he'll really like that."
Nathan smiled and for a second he thought that maybe she was about to say something else. Something about him moving home. He waited for a second but she didn't speak up. He looked down at his shoes, "I'll see you later then. I'll drop Jamie off when we get done."
Haley smiled, "Okay." She saw him head to his car so she opened the driver side door to her car. She slid into the seat and pulled down her mirror, "Just do it Haley. Ask him to come home." She sighed heavily and wondered why she couldn't ask him. It wasn't like she was afraid he'd say no, or maybe that was it. She was scared. Scared of what it would be like when he got back home. Would it be the same? It was all so uncertain but she knew one thing. As long as he was there, as long as he was home, she knew that they could make it. They were a family and he needed to come home.
Looking in the mirror once more she nodded to herself encouragingly. She was going to do it.
As Haley pulled out of the parking lot she ran dinner possibilities through her head. It might be too much to make a prime rib, but that was his favorite. She figured that something simple would be best, maybe a chicken dish. It wouldn't tell him that she was 100% ready for things to be normal, but it wasn't Brussels sprouts so it wouldn't mean she hated the idea either.
It didn't take her long at the store and when she got home she cleaned up a little then Haley debated on what to wear. Did she keep it casual or did she put a little extra make-up on. It was making her nervous. The decisions, the questions, it was a lot to handle.
If Nathan had seen how worried she was about the whole ordeal he probably would have laughed. He wouldn't care what she was wearing or how she looked. In his eyes she'd always be beautiful.
She went back downstairs and after what felt like only minutes, an hour had passed. Glancing at the clock, Haley knew that Jamie and Nathan would be home soon and their was a voice inside her heart that told her everything would be okay.
Another twenty minutes passed and she heard a car pull into the driveway.
Nathan put the car in park and heard Jamie unclip his seat belt. The little boy got out of his chair and ran inside the house.
Making his way into the house, Jamie ran into the kitchen, "Hey Mama. Smells good."
Haley turned her head at her son's voice and smiled, "Thanks baby." She noticed that Nathan was behind Jamie, "Where's your dad Jame?"
Jamie looked to the front door and shrugged.
Nathan shut the car door and slowly approached the house. When he got to the front door he wondered if he needed to knock. He sighed heavily and pushed the door open. If they were going to make ground of their reconciliation he was going to have to stop acting like they were in every other weekend mode. They weren't and never would be.
Haley saw Nathan and smiled when he came in. She was excited to see him. They still had a lot of work to do to make things all better, but she was ready to take that next step.
Nathan took a deep breath and loved the way the house smelled. Haley was one hell of a cook, "Smells great."
She smiled kindly and looked to Jamie, "Hey buddy, why don't you go upstairs and make sure Chester's alright. I think he's been missing you today."
Jamie hopped off the stool and ran upstairs. Nathan watched him leave the kitchen and saw that Haley was about to say something.
"So...I've been thinking...."
Nathan felt his lungs fill with air as he held his breath waiting her her to say what he thought she was going to say.
"We've been making a lot of head way in therapy and I think our doctor's right. Maybe it's time you come home?" The butterflies swarmed her stomach and she waited to see Nathan answer.
He walked towards her and nodded, "I was hoping you'd say that." Haley let out a nervous sigh and Nathan noticed, "What?"
"I don't know? I think I was scared."
Nathan furrowed his brow, "Scared?" He put his hands on her sides, "Why would you be scared"
She shrugged, "That you'd say no."
He shook he head, "That's never going to happen." He rubbed his hands along her arms, "I know we've still got things ahead of us, and I know I said if a few months ago but we're gonna get there. We'll be the couple we used to be. I promise."
Haley closed her eyes and nodded. That was exactly what she wanted to hear. She leaned her head into Nathan's chest and felt his arms wrap around her.
"We'll get there, I promise." He repeated.
She smiled, "I know."
Nathan rested his chin on the top of her head and laughed, "So since I'm coming home, do I get to stay for dinner?"
Haley took a step back from his embrace and nodded, "If you want to."
He absolutely wanted to. Lucas was still in so called brokenheartsville and didn't have much of any food in his house. "Yeah, of course."
Nathan watched as Haley made her way over to the stove and he silently thanked her for asking him to come home. It was where he needed to be.
Jamie's footsteps rang out as she stomped down the stairs and he walked into the kitchen.
Nathan looked at his son, "Wanna help me set the table bud?"
The little boy's face lit up, "Are you staying for dinner?" Nathan nodded and Jamie smiled, "Sweet."
Haley watched as Nathan and Jamie opened up the silverware drawer and knew that she'd made a great decision. That little boy adored his father as much as she did. Even though they still needed to work on things to get back to being Naley, as Brooke or Peyton would say, it was going to happen. They were going to get there.
OTHOTH
Okay guys, this was short, I know. Sorry. I just couldn't make up my mind about how I wanted it to play out, and then I didn't want to rehash what we saw in 5x13 so I tried to do a little bit of in between. I hope you guys liked it, and if not, I think you'll like the next chapter. Nathan get's protective over Haley and the kids so I wonder what's going to happen???
On a shallow note: If any of you are interested in reading my first full length real story (not just a collection of one-shots) I posted one a couple days ago, It Could Happen to You. Click on my profile and check out the description to see if it's something you might like. I'd love to see what my Little Moments readers think of it.
To my reviewers. Thank you so much for your kind words!
Hadley: Naley going to a young Jamie's basketball game is actually on the to-do list. I just have to get around to doing it,lol. Thanks for requesting though. Now I've gotten a little nudge to do it sooner than later.
BDavis: The Charlotte/Haley disagreement will be coming up soon! Chapter 55 if all goes as planned.
Mazzy: So how old are you thinking you want the characters to be when one of the gets sick? 40S, 50s, 60s, older? Someone else has mentioned writing about a cancer scare for Haley so would that count as something you want to see?
Madison: I'm with you, I hate that we know nothing about the James family. They really should have introduced them at Lydia's funeral...they made it seem like Quinn and Taylor were her only siblings. And about Haley being the youngest of 7. I'm pretty sure in season 1 (could be 2) at some point Keith and Karen are talking and Karen mentions that she's the youngest of 7. I could be wrong though. And you're welcome for considering your suggestions. I do that for all my readers. You guys have great ideas and it's important to me that I know what you guys want.
Joan: Yeah, a little jealous Nathan is always fun.
Becky: I'm glad that the chapters during the hiatus helped you get through it!
Alexis: Thank you for the writing compliments! That means a lot!
Anon: I don't know if I'll do another James family chapter. The last one wasn't received as well as I had hoped but you never know. I may do another one sometime.
blurrystars: Thank you for the multiple reviews! Ch. 51: I'm so glad you liked the retirement chapter. That flashback was hard to write, with Jamie being all mad and stuff, but I was happy with the way it turned out. Ch. 52: A lot of people liked it when Haley asked him if she should say their line as she passed over to Charlotte and I admit...I laughed when I wrote it. I couldn't help myself. It was Naley at their bench. I couldn't not do it, lol. Ch. 53: I'm so glad you liked the brothers chapter, and thank you so much for your diligent reviews!
Review please!
