"A preliminary examination of the car does seem to support the claims that the brakes were faulty," Hogan informed me. He and Avery had been following up on the earlier incident with the neighbours, but I had a feeling, that his mind, like everyone else's, wasn't really on the job.
"Thanks Hogan."
I really didn't want to be back at work, not when I'd rather be at the hospital offering my support to Georgie, but with Emerson's death and now my friend's hospitalisation, we were already down two officers, so I'd returned to work, while Grace stayed at the hospital. That really meant we were three down, but at least Grace could be called in at a moment's notice if necessary. For the time being though, Grace would be better off at the hospital, since she probably wasn't going to be much use to anyone while she was fretting over Georgie's condition. Joey had stayed behind to offer her comfort and I was glad of that, because I wasn't sure if Grace could cope on her own when she was in such emotional turmoil. Seeing Grace like that, with tears in her eyes as she held Georgie's lifeless hand, had me thinking back to the hell Ruby must have felt when it had been me lying in that bed and a part of me was relieved that Joey hadn't been in my life at that time. I'd never want to see that look of pain in her eyes.
As painful as it had been to watch, leaving hadn't been any easier, but as Joey had pointed out, I could help Grace most by holding down the fort at work. It was hard though, tying to concentrate on work when my thoughts kept going back to the hospital and the atmosphere around here certainly didn't help. There had already been disquiet within the Station at Georgie's mood and then enforced sick leave. Today though, everyone was in shock and trying to process the news that their colleague and for some, their friend, was fighting for her life. There were the occasional hushed whispers and phones calls as they all went about their duties, but otherwise, there was largely silence. A police station was meant to be a hive of activity and noise, so the current atmosphere was a little unnerving in a way.
"We doorknocked the other neighbours, but no one saw or heard anything," Hogan was saying and I forced myself to listen. "I have my doubts as to if that's really the case or they just didn't want to get involved."
"Can't say I blame them for wanting to stay out of it," I muttered.
"Me neither," he replied. "It's looking more and more like the car going through the fence was an accident, but the punch ups that followed afterward were hardly accidental and nobody wants to be seen taking one side over the other or being caught in the middle, especially given the history of those two families."
I sighed tiredly. "I really hope this isn't going to escalate."
"We'll swing by a few times to make sure things are settling down," said Hogan.
"Good idea."
He started to leave the office, but stopped and turned back. "Has there been any news from the hospital?"
I shook my head. "Joey or Grace will call the moment there is any news."
"This isn't fair Charlie," he said. "Watson was supposed to be fine."
"And she will be."
"You know, ever since you told us what happened to her, I've been thinking back to the day when she first arrived at the station. She was this little bright eyed and eager young Constable, who I thought came across as a little too naïve and nice for the job," Hogan said. "It didn't take her long to prove me wrong and realise that there was a hidden steel and determination beneath that youthful and naïve exterior."
"Well now that steel and determination will see her through this," I said with a confidence I still didn't entirely feel. Sid had played the diplomatic doctor card when I'd asked him what Georgie's chances were for a full recovery. He'd said she was a fighter and if she made it through the next 24 to 48 hours, her chances would improve. He was trying to offer us hope, yet I'd read the hesitancy in his expression as he'd said those words and that told me we had every reason to fear the worst. I didn't want to think like that though, so part of me was holding to belief that I was projecting my own fears onto Sid and so was reading too much into his body language. "Please be ok, Georgie," I thought to myself.
"How is Grace holding up?" he asked.
"About as expected."
"Watson better get better, so that I can then bang her head with Grace's and they can get their damn act together."
Given her head injuries, I wasn't sure head banging was the right thing to say, but his sentiment was in the right place.
"Why Hogan, you old romantic," I teased. "You and Joey should tag team our hapless couple to get them back together."
"It's not about being romantic, it's about being practical," he stated. "Those two make a far better team at work when they're together."
"Yes, I'm sure your concern lies solely on the practical side of things."
He blushed slightly at my teasing and right then, I just couldn't picture Hogan as the mole. He was not only one of the most honest coppers I'd ever worked with, he was such a caring man. He was always one of the first in line when another officer needed assistance and he was a genuinely good guy. The kind of person you'd be glad to have at your back. Perhaps I wasn't the best judge of character though, since there was a time I'd fooled myself into believing Brax was a good person. It was a little difference with Brax, in that there'd always been a little doubt at the back of my mind, which I chose to ignore, to my detriment. With Hogan, I had no such doubts, which was why I really hoped he wasn't the mole, because otherwise, what would that say about my judgement of people?
"I'm going to stop by the hospital after work," Hogan said, once more drawing me out of my thoughts. "Offer my support to Grace and best wishes to Watson."
"I'm sure they'll appreciate it," I said. "Hogan, I heard about your mum being sick, is she doing ok?"
"She's much better now, thanks for asking."
"Well, if you need anything, let me know."
"Actually, some extra shifts would be handy," he replied. "Mum's hospital stay racked up a few bills and it's going to take a while to pay them off, so the extra shifts would really be a big help."
"I'll mention it to Grace the next time I speak to her," I told him, since Grace was now in charge of the station. I took a moment to consider Hogan's request. The fact that he was still paying off the bills and asking for extra shifts didn't automatically mean that he hadn't been paid off by Mac, but unless he was sitting on a hidden stash of money he wasn't willing to spend, then it might make him the least likely of the trio Grace had named as potential moles. Of course, given that these three men were only in the frame because of their financial situations, then there was always the possibility it was someone else entirely. Investigating those with money issues was always a good starting point, yet you could never completely rule out plain old-fashioned greed or in this case, some unknown loyalty to Mac. At least Grace had been able to discount more than half of the officers here, but that still left a few, besides Hogan, Stevenson and Avery. The not knowing was not only frustrating, but worrying. Which of my fellow officers couldn't I trust?
I sighed. I just wanted it all over, now more than ever.
"Charlie, you ok?"
"What?" I murmured, then realised I must have spaced out on him again. "Oh, sorry, I just have a lot on my mind."
"We're all worried about Watson," he misconstrued my comment and I didn't correct him.
"Well hopefully we'll have some good news about her soon," I said. He nodded, then left the office.
I leant back in the chair. I'd been following up on a few things for Grace, so she'd told me to use the office. So here I was, in the office that had once been mine, sitting at my old desk, using my old computer, yet it didn't feel like I belonged here anymore. In fact, I felt guilty for sitting here while my friend was fighting for her life. Georgie had earned this seat, while I'd done everything to deserve losing it. "God, I really have changed," I murmured. Once, this seat and office had been all I'd dreamed of achieving, but now that my priorities were different, I was going to be happy to relinquish it the moment I was done here.
Grace could be the one to keep it warm until Georgie came back to work. "You'd better come back, Georgie," I muttered.
Grace hated the sound of the life supportmachine. She hated the beeping. She hated the lighting. She hated the smell of the room. She hated being here. Yet she couldn't be anywhere else, than by the side of the woman she loved.
The woman she loved. She sighed heavily at that acknowledgement. Only yesterday, Joey had told her to be honest with herself about her feelings and if she had still had any doubts about the strength of those feelings, they had been dispelled the moment she had seen Watson lying on the floor. She truly loved her. More than she thought possible. She felt blindsided by it. She hadn't been looking for love, only a bit of fun, yet it all seemed to have changed so quickly and without her noticing. And now it appeared her eventual realisation might have come far too late.
"This is all my fault," she said more to herself than to anyone else.
"That's nonsense Grace," Joey told her from where she was sitting across from her.
"No it's not," she said. "I was at her place earlier this morning, I should have known something was wrong then,"
"For all you knew, she was just avoiding you," Joey pointed out. "You had no way to know otherwise."
"That's just it Joey, I should have known things were wrong with Watson even before today," she said. "I was against her returning to work so quickly and I should have been more insistent that she take more time, yet I let her talk me into believing it would be best for her to work." Her voice caught. "I should have seen that she wasn't fully recovered and was unwell, but I was too busy trying not to step on her toes or have her think I was criticising her. I let my feelings for her affect my judgement." She shook her head angrily. "My god Joey, I was sleeping with her, yet I didn't really have any fucking clue what was really going on," she bitterly said. "I had to wait until Charlie said something."
"You love her and were doing your best to look out for her, but sometimes, it's just easier for someone on the outside like Charlie, to see things a little more clearly," Joey said as gently as she could. She hated to see her friend blaming herself. "It's no fault of yours."
"See, this is exactly why they discourage relationships between fellow officers," Grace muttered. "If I'd just been a friend to Watson instead of a lover, I would have been in a better position to have stopped it getting this far."
"And Watson could have gone to the doctor earlier, yet she didn't," countered Joey. "And maybe as a friend, you still might not have done anything differently, and this and that and so on," she said. "We could go on forever about how things could have been done differently, but it won't change anything." Joey walked around to her side and placed her hand on her shoulder. "In my experience, cops are a stubborn bunch, prone to acts of single mindedness and stupidity when it comes to their health."
"Gee, thanks," she muttered.
"All I'm saying is, Watson was ultimately responsible for herself," Joey said to her. "She must have known she wasn't ready to return to work, yet nothing you could have said or done would have stopped her returning," she said. "Grace, if the same situation happened to you, would you be listening to the doctor's advice or chomping at the bit to get back to what you do best?"
"Ignoring the doctor," she reluctantly admitted. She raised Watson's hand to her lips. "I just hate seeing her like this," she said. "And I do get what both you and Charlie have been saying to me, but I can't help it. I feel responsible for what happened to Watson."
Joey squeezed her shoulder in comfort, then snatched it back as if she'd gotten a shock. "Shit, that wasn't your bad shoulder, was it?"
"No."
"Thank god," she muttered.
"I suppose I should call Watson's parents now," murmured Grace. "Let them know about her condition and leave it up to them whether they think it best to come or not." Her voice caught once more at the enormity of the situation. "Watson's chances hinge on the next couple of days, so this might be the last chance for her family to see her."
"Don't talk like that," Joey gently scolded her. "I think we can safely assume from how resistant Watson was toward all overtures from you, that she's a very stubborn lady and that is a good thing to be when you're fighting for something, least of all for your life."
"Stubborn is one word for it," Grace said with a wry smile. "I've never met a woman who could infuriate me or leave me floundering as much as Watson does."
Joey smiled at the deep affection in her friend's voice as she spoke of the woman lying before them. "Grace, why do you still call her Watson?"
"Huh?"
"She's the woman you love, yet you still call her by her surname," she said. "Why is that?"
"She just seems more of a Watson to me than a Georgie." Grace kissed the hand in hers again. "There are so many things I want to tell her Joey."
"Such as?"
"That I love her and want her back."
"Then tell her that," Joey urged her.
"She can't hear me."
"How do you know?" she said. "Tell her Grace, for your own sake as well as hers. Tell her how you feel." She moved away from her.
"Are you going?"
"I'm just giving you some privacy," Joey assured her. "I'll be right outside."
"Thanks Joey," she said. "For being here."
"Not sure Watson would be so happy to see me here," Joey murmured as she left her friend alone.
