Okay I have no clue who I am anymore. But I can't fuck this story over until I actually end it, so… let's try.

if you've been reading, then you know where we are.
if you skipped all the way to this chapter… well…
hah. Haha. Hahahaha.

"…are you awake?" Kabuto poked at Xeala's cold face, having done this over a thousand times in the last hour. What right does Sasuke have to haul this kid in here… I would like a few more friends every now and then that Orochimaru didn't feed to that giant snake buddy of his…
"…hh…" Xeala's mouth opened and little, and Kabuto got so excited having seen something different that he jumped out of his chair, the chair screeeeeching across the floor. To his dismay, she seemed to have only yawned in her sleep. Kabuto fell back into the chair and started twirling a pencil around, gazing up at the overhead monitors with their bleeping screens every so often.

"Orochimaru-sama, there's something I have to tell you." Sasuke walked into Orochimaru's main…room… chamber… thing… without acknowledgement.
Heaven knows what variety of things he may have been doing, but he looked up,"Yes, Sasuke-kun?"

"…I brought a friend home to play with." Sasuke said.
"… a friend, Sasuke? Have you gotten your head into the world of geishas already?" Orochimaru asked, not comprehending why Sasuke would have any need for a geisha… or an actual friend, for that matter. Why is he acting so odd… Oh no… NO MY SASUKE'S GROWING UP!! MY MID-LIFE CRISIS IS GOING TO BE RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER FROM THIS OH DEAR OH DEAR WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO!!??

(Okay… he might not have been thinking that… but maybe in the back of his mind that little teeny tiiiny essence of humanity he has left has a teeny tiiiny part of it reserved for paternal thinking, and that teeny tiiiny paternal part of him is thinking that.
Yea.
That's what it is.)

"No. I don't have any need for a whore. I mean I brought home a friend to play with. It's kind of lonely after a few years when I only see the same people over and over again."
"Oh…kay… then…" Freeak… OH NO MY SASUKE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!


(
I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking, "RIXXAN IS A GENIUS!! THIS IS HILARIOUS!"

If you're not… then I say you should have stopped reading around chapter .0001)

"Gh…" Kabuto had fallen asleep on the metal desk, drooling on the many scattered and dishoveled papers. (You know you want to see that happen just to laugh at it.)
"Ih…"

"OHMYGOSH SHE SAID SOMETHING!" Kabuto was at the bedside like an overexcited dog in not even a second.

"Ih…tah…chi…"

"…oh no." Kabuto blocked the image from his mind. She's from Akatsuki and just said Itachi in her sleep. Ho-boy. Sasuke is not going to be happy about this. First of all she's got sharingan. Second of all she's adorable and beautiful. Third she's super-powerful… and has those large… No! Kabuto, it's been too long since seeing people, but that gives you no right to become a closet pervert! Even if temptation is sitting on a bed completely out cold and vulner-KABUTO I AM TELLING YOU TO STOP THINKING THESE THINGS. Besides… it's…uh… obvious! Sasuke must find some sort of fancy in this girl… why else would he keep her alive… yeah that's completely the reason. Completely! No.Touchie.The.Girl.

What's her name? Good grief, I don't even know the patient's name. I feel unprofessional.

"Kabu—
"HOLY CRAP!" Kabuto spun halfway off his chair as Sasuke walked into the medical room.
"—to… alright… what the hell just happened?'
"It's a surprise to see someone a little more alive than this," Kabuto cocked his head to the side and closed his eyes, mimicking the girl on the bed, "…hh…" and closed his mouth.
"She didn't wake up yet?" Sasuke asked, concerned.
"No she di-why do you even care?"

"…it's… just…" Sasuke stammered, trying to mentally put emotion to reason.
"…Sasuke…" Kabuto started, and Sasuke shot him a cold glare.
"How much knock-out medicine have you been pumping into her, Kabuto!? She should have woken up hours and hours ago!"
"…this much." Kabuto held up his hand, exaggerating the small length between his thumb and middle finger.
"…she's still out cold…" Sasuke slowly stepped over toward her torso, and even closer to her, brushing his fingers through her hair slowly.
"Sasuke… you realize she's been in Akatsuki… and with—
"Shutup! He took her! He took her right before chuunin exams!"
"Yo-you know her previously?"
"Yes, of course! Xeala was in my team! She was always the smartest, she beat me out a hundred fold! I couldn't keep up with her, and then she disappeared the day we registered for the chuunin exams! I knew it was that bastard! Only he, only him, he was the only one who could have beared to see me suffer after all he's done to me! He killed everyone in the clan! He slaughtered them all! Then he took my love away! What cruel person could ever do that to someone?"
"…Sasuke you just spoke the word love, which pertains to human emotion."
"I loved her… I didn't know it but I did."
"OHKAY THEN," Kabuto spun around and grabbed a small microphone, "Orochimaru we have a slight emotional conflict with Sasuke's hormones in the medical exam rooms," Kabuto whispered quietly, then returned his attention to Sasuke's pining over the girl. Then it hit him.

Way way back two and a half years ago, the mysterious disappearance of Xeala from Team 7 had puzzled the entire village. Search parties everywhere, investigations going on day and night, Naruto throwing fits every few minutes, Shikamaru Nara was a little lazier than usual, Kiba Inuzuka seemed like a lost dog whose owner was shot through the face on a walk, Sakura Haruno wasn't a happy bubble of cherry blossoms, Sasuke wouldn't talk to anyone. Only that one Ino… whatever her name was seemed normal. And Kakashi said it was Akatsuki, their first activity for a long time. When Sasuke left Konoha, it had only affected Naruto even more until he starved for his lost friends with the hunger of a neglected lion.
"Ho-ly shit, Sasuke. You are gonna be in so much trouble when Orochimaru finds out who this is." Kabuto said, shaking his head back and forth.
"Shut your face, Kabuto, you don't get it." Sasuke said, now seated on a spinny-stool next to the bed, brushing his hand across Xeala's face every so often, combing his fingers through her hair. A few seconds later, (the disgusting and hideous monster that is) Orochimaru stood in the doorframe.
"What seems to be the proble—
"He used the word "love," in a speech about me not getting it," Kabuto said flatly, back turned as he toyed with a pencil on the desk.

"…Well, Sasuke, what's going on here? Who is tha—Sasuke, look at me when I'm speaking."

Sasuke turned his head to Orochimaru. "Xeala. Konoha.Team 7. Kidnapped by Akatsuki, night of chuunin exam entries."

So this is the one. "That's quite interesting, tell me, Sasuke, what do you plan on doing now that you've incarcerated this young lady?"

"I don't know."

"That's a definite plan…" Kabuto spat under his breath, and Sasuke shot laserbeams at him with his eyes. Orochimaru walked out of the room, not caring now, and completely misinterpreting Sasuke's display of emotion as one that would be easily shattered.

"Well, Sasuke, I'm going to sleep." Kabuto shot out of his chair and powered across the room like a locomotive, then left Sasuke alone with a half-dead teenage girl.

Oh damn.
Sasuke's in l-o-v-e luv.

haha woo. Alrighty. I have a new plot to break away with, and it will be amazing!