A/N

So my beta is back and the chapter is now edited :D

Merlin walked slowly to Evan's house, unsure of what he was going to say or do when he got there. He just knew that he had to talk to his friend.

He knocked on the door to Evan's house and a woman, whom he assumed to be Evan's mother opened the door.

"Oh. Hello, my lord." She hastily bowed.

"Is it ok if I see Evan?" Merlin asked.

"Of course, my lord!" she exclaimed, stepping aside to let Merlin inside. She smiled kindly at him, but Merlin could also see the inner turmoil she was going through. She'd already lost one child; Evan's death would destroy her. The revelation made Merlin even more determined to fix the mess he'd caused.

Gwen, who'd been watching Evan stood and turned to Merlin.

"Gaius needed to get some supplies. He asked me to keep an eye on him until he got back."

"Thank you for being such a good friend," Merlin whispered.

"I'm so sorry," Gwen whispered, "I know he was a good friend-" Merlin cut her off.

" He'll get better."

Gwen was silent for a minute. "I've tried to make him more comfortable," she whispered.

"You've such a good heart Gwen," Merlin said with a small smile. "Don't ever lose that."

There were so many things he wanted to tell Arthur, Gwen, Evan, Gaius, even Uther, but he didn't have the time and he didn't want to worry them.

Gwen smiled, looking a little uncertain, before stepping out of the room to give them some privacy.

"I'm going to make you better, you'll see," Merlin whispered.

Evan's eyes slowly flickered open and he groaned.

"Wha-?"

"It's going to okay, I promise," Merlin continued. He then gently placed the rabbit's foot in Evan's hand and stood. "You've been a great friend… thank you."

Before Evan could summon the energy to ask any questions, Merlin left.

Merlin wanted to leave that minute, but realized he forgot the map Gaius had given him. So he ran back up to his chambers as quickly as he could to get it. Once he got there, he saw a note with Gaius's handwriting sitting on the table. Without really thinking about it Merlin picked up the letter and quickly, not paying much attention to what the letter was saying. He froze.

and to sacrifice myself would be an honor…

Merlin's heart stopped in his chest as he quickly reread the letter.

"No," Merlin whispered, Gaius was going to sacrifice himself. "No!"

Merlin ran to the stables as fast as he possibly could and carelessly flung the saddle onto his horse. He ignored the shouts of the guards as he galloped past; all he could think about was Gaius dying for his mistake. Unbeknownst to him, Arthur stood beside Morgana, watching him as he galloped out of the city, fear written plainly across both of their faces.

Merlin rode through the forest, not caring if he killed the horse in the process. He jumped into the boat and barked out a spell. The boat slowly glided across the lake, Merlin willing it to go faster.

As he approached the archway he could clearly hear Nimueh shouting a long, complex spell.

Merlin jumped out of the boat and ran to the courtyard. He saw Nimueh standing next to Gaius's still form; she was holding the cup of life above her head as she chanted.

Without thinking, Merlin shouted, "Stop!"

"Back again so soon, warlock?" Nimueh asked, looking smug. She set the cup down on the alter and slowly started walking over to Merlin.

"What have you done?" Merlin whispered.

"Your friend is safe. Isn't that what you wanted?" she asked.

Merlin glared at her. He knew he shouldn't have trusted her.

"Have you killed him?" Merlin asked, choking slightly on his words.

Despite everything he'd done, Gaius didn't deserve to die. Not like this. Not because Merlin had failed.

"It was his wish," Nimueh replied, not looking like she cared.

Merlin stumbled back slightly.

"I bid my life for Arthur's! Not Evan's! Not Gaius's! Mine!"

"The old religion does not care who lives or dies!" Nimueh shouted, her voice echoing off the old ruins. Her tone softened as she continued. "Only that the balance of the world is restored. To save a life a life must be taken, Gaius knew this." Nimueh glanced down at Gaius's body smugly.

"It is not the old religion that has done this it is you!" Merlin declared, completely unafraid.

"Come now," Nimueh whispered, smirking, "we're too valuable to each other to be enemies."

Merlin felt uncontrollable rage and pain fill up inside of him.

"No! I share nothing with you!" Merlin shouted enraged. How could she even think they had anything in common?

"Together we can make Arthur king!" Nimueh declared.

"I will make Arthur king!" Merlin replied, more confidently then he felt. "But you will never see that day."

Merlin shouted a spell, sending a fireball at Nimueh.

Smirking, she raised a hand, easily stopping the flames.

"Your childish tricks are useless against me, Merlin," she declared, waving her hand through the air causing a fireball to form in her hands.

Merlin felt a wave of fear as she continued.

"I am a high priestess of the old religion."

Merlin was only just able to dive out of the way of the fireball that she sent towards Merlin. A wall exploded, causing huge chunks of rock to fly at him.

"You too are a creature of the old religion," she continued softly as Merlin slowly got to his feet. "You should join me."

Nimueh held another fireball menacingly in her hand as she watched Merlin, waiting for his reaction.

"You think I would join forces with such a selfish and cruel magic?" Merlin asked. "Never."

"So be it," she replied menacingly, sending the fireball spinning at Merlin.

The fireball hit him square in the chest sending him to the floor. Merlin lay there, groaning in pain.

Nimueh stood over him grinning evilly. "Pity," she sighed. "Together we could have ruled the world." And then she left him there to die slowly.

Gathering all his strength Merlin forced himself to open his eyes and slowly get to his feet.

"You should not have killed me friend," Merlin whispered menacingly.

Nimueh just smirked as Merlin raised his hand towards the sky. She looked up when she heard lightening flash and saw clouds rapidly gathering overhead.

Merlin slowly lowered his hand, causing lighting to strike Nimueh over and over again until she exploded in a bright flash. Rain started to pour out of the sky as Merlin ran over to Gaius.

"Gaius! Gaius…No, No!" Merlin slumped over, crying when Gaius didn't even stir. Gaius was gone. Merlin had failed.

Merlin felt Gaius stirring slightly.

"Merlin?" Gaius asked, barely audible.

"Gaius? Gaius, you're alive!" Merlin shouted, flinging himself on top of the elderly physician.

"What did you do?" Gaius asked tiredly.

"Nimueh's dead!" Merlin exclaimed. "The balance of the world has been restored."

Gaius blinked. "You amaze me Merlin… you've mastered the power to mirror life and death itself!"

"Huh?" Merlin asked, confused and slightly scared.

"You may be the greatest warlock yet," Gaius continued, clearly in awe of Merlin's power.

"So you believe in me now?" Merlin asked.

"I'm sorry, Merlin," Gaius whispered. "For everything."

"I already forgave you," Merlin assured.

Merlin hesitantly knocked on the door to Arthur's chambers, afraid. Even though he was a powerful warlock and Arthur a normal prince, Merlin was afraid of his wrath. Even more so than Uther's.

Gaius had simply told Uther that Merlin had gone with him to collect herbs, and Uther had been none the wiser.

At Arthur's command, Merlin pushed open the door and stepped inside. Arthur looked up and a look of relief flashed across his features.

"Merlin!"

Arthur pulled him into a bone crushing hug and continued, "I thought… I was worried that you'd done something stupid…"

"I did do something stupid…" Merlin admitted reluctantly.

Arthur pulled back and looked at him reproachfully.

"What did you do?"

Merlin took a deep breath and reluctantly explained everything that had happened since Arthur had been bitten. Arthur glared at Merlin when he admitted he tried to give up his life for Arthur's.

"What were you thinking?" Arthur exploded when he explained how he went back again to save Evan. "He's a servant and you…"

"He's not just a servant!" Merlin shouted. "He's my friend and I couldn't let him die!"

"He was actually there for you," Arthur muttered defeated.

"He was a friend when you couldn't be there," Merlin whispered. "I couldn't let him die; it's my responsibility to protect you…"

"Why?" Arthur demanded. "Why you? Who decided that you had to get yourself killed for me?"

Merlin locked eyes with Arthur and saw fear and pain in his eyes. Arthur didn't want to see Merlin get hurt because of him.

"Arthur… I promise one day I will explain everything but… now… now just isn't right…" At the moment, Merlin wanted nothing to do with the dragon, and he knew that if he told Arthur about the dragon he'd want to meet him, and that would directly conflict with Merlin not seeing the dragon again.

Arthur reluctantly nodded his head in silent agreement and Merlin finished explaining.

"She said I was a creature of magic," Merlin mumbled once he'd finished sitting down heavily on Arthur's bed, "like I was some monster… Like I wasn't human…"

"You are not a monster," Arthur said sternly, sitting down next to him. "I've known you your entire life. There is nothing monstrous about you."

"But they both-" Merlin began, before stopping abruptly having almost told Arthur about the dragon. "This isn't the first time this has happened…"

"Well they're all wrong," Arthur replied placing a hand on Merlin's knee. "You are the kindest person I've ever met. What kind of monster cries when he sees a little bird with a broken wing? Or hates eating meat?"

Merlin grinned slightly and whispered, "Thanks."

Arthur patted Merlin's knee. "Anytime… but I believe there is a certain servant you need to talk to."

Arthur grinned when Merlin groaned. It was going to be a long day.