Harry stared absentmindedly at the bed that a few hours ago had held his wife, now it was empty with clean sheets and blankets and once again Nikki was in surgery. He looked down at Arthur who he was holding out of comfort to himself, and not for any other reason. The tiny child was staring up at Harry, his light blue eyes boring into his father's ones.

"Mummy's not going to leave us" Harry whispered to his son, he knew he was trying to convince himself of this face. He leant down and pressed a kiss onto Arthur's forehead, as well as to one of his hands, before taking the hand in two of his fingers, smiling when it clenched automatically around him. "I don't trust myself with you if she leaves us" Harry told the little boy sadly "I don't want to screw this up"

Arthur just blinked up at his father and yawned, this made Harry chuckle, despite himself.

"Am I really that boring?" he joked, but his heart clenched happily as he gazed down at his and Nikki's little boy. Arthur however had closed his eyes and Harry stood up and walked over to the window, knowing that it would be a few more minutes until the baby was fully asleep. "I do hope you're not as good as attracting trouble as your mother" Harry said as he stared out of the window and over the good view of London he had "I think the doctors are discussing whether to give her a season pass to this place". He laughed quietly and shook his head before walking over to the cot and laying the sleeping child down and covering him gently with the blanket. He then glanced at his watch and saw it was almost half past six in the morning and Leo would be getting ready for work. Harry pulled his mobile out of his pocket and debated on whether or not to call the older man, he knew that once Leo found out about Nikki he would be at the hospital as soon as possible. Work be damned. Harry smiled as he realised that Nikki was the only person that Leo would definitely miss work for. "Shall we call Uncle Leo?" he asked his sleeping son as he reached into the cot and placed one finger in his tiny hand, making Arthur clench his hand around the digit.

"Hello?"

"Leo it's Harry" he said down the phone and he felt his throat constrict as he heard a familiar voice "Nikki she..she's.."

"Harry what's wrong with Nikki?" Leo asked instantly

"She haemorrhaged again Leo" Harry whispered as he bit his lip "There was so much blood" he choked out "They've taken her down to theatre and are operating on her again"

"I'll be right there" Leo told Harry and the younger man heard a door slam shut and the sound of Leo locking it behind him.

"You don't have to" Harry replied "You have work"

"I'll call in and tell them I'll be late" the older man told Harry who was suddenly relieved that Leo would be joining him.


"Harry how are you?" Leo asked instantly as he walked into the room and saw his younger co-worker leaning against the wall by the window, staring blankly out of it. He just shrugged but didn't turn to look at Leo who was cooing over the now awake Arthur. "What happened?"

"She started haemorrhaging again for some reason" Harry replied monotonously "They don't know why, but she's in surgery now to stop the bleeding"

"Nikki will be fine" Leo told Harry as he reached down to take Arthur's hand in between two of his fingers and grin down at the baby "Hello" he grinned "Have you been good for mummy and daddy?"

Arthur made a small gurgling noise and clenched his hand even tighter around Leo's finger and brought his other hand to his face.

"Hey" Leo whispered to the newborn when he saw that his tiny mittens had come off "You'll scratch your face" he then reached down and pulled the mittens back onto Arthur's hands. He glanced up at Harry and saw that the younger man had tears streaming down his face as he stared out of the window, he then took a deep breath and wiped his face.

"What if she doesn't make it Leo?" he whispered, his voice breaking again as he dared to voice his thoughts. "and don't say she will because you know there's a chance that she won't"

"Harry if Nikki doesn't make it, and that is a big if, then you won't be alone in raising this little man" he motioned to his godson who yawned "You'll have your mother and me as well to help you out, we have both raised children"

Harry just nodded and placed his hand over his mouth as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"I don't think..I don't think I could live without her Leo" he whispered tearfully "and I know that's a really..cheesy thing to say but.."

"That's how I felt about Theresa" Leo replied with a small nod "she told me at one point that if she was to die before me then I shouldn't spend the rest of my life alone, I should find someone else. But I can't" the last word came out as a small sob and he took a deep breath to stop himself.

"Nikki, and now Arthur, they are my life" Harry told Leo as he walked over to the side of the cot and looked down at his tiny son "I spent so long waiting for Nikki and now I have to face the fact that I might...lose..her" he took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes against the tears.

"Does your mum know?"

"No" Harry shook his head and glanced at his watch, it read quarter to eight "I didn't want to worry her yet"

Arthur let out a small whimper and both men looked down at him as he started to cry loudly.

"Hey son" he whispered as he reached down and picked up the screaming infant "You're hungry aren't you? Well mummy's not here so you're going to have to have a bottle"

"I'll go and find a nurse" Leo told Harry who nodded and tried to comfort the screaming baby but to no avail. Leo walked back in a few minutes later holding a bottle of milk and handed it to Harry who placed it near his son's mouth. To their surprise Arthur immediately started to suckle but after a few mouthfuls of milk he moved his head away and refused to drink anymore.

"Come on Arthur" Harry whispered as he tried to feed his son again "Mummy's not here to feed you yet, and she won't be able to for a while now I imagine"

However the baby still refused to drink but had stopped crying, staring up at Harry as if asking where his mummy was. Harry wanted to cry.


Angst! XD

xxx