Ok, so the AN at the end of the last chapter didn't have the link… Which was not only strange but frustrating. The link's on my profile now, just so you know.
"I told you not to step into the water!" Dad says from across the table in the ice cream shop.
"I'm sorry!"
"What were you so afraid of?"
"I don't know."
"Yeah, kid, you do! What made you step in?"
"I don't know! I don't know anything anymore! I can't help anyone, I can't even help myself, I just keep getting hurt…"
He sits back and crosses his arms. "You're afraid of getting hurt?"
"No."
He smiles. "Afraid of others getting hurt, then?" I nod silently. "Do what you can to protect them. But if you can't, don't beat yourself up over it. Some things weren't meant to be."
My eyes widen. "You don't mean Riku?"
He shrugs. "Maybe."
I shake my head. "No. No, me and him, that's meant to be. I know it is."
"So why are you hiding from him in the ice cream parlor?"
"I'm not hiding!"
"Prove it. Go find him and invite him to eat with us."
I shift uncomfortably in my seat. "Er… I think he's busy."
He laughs. "Be that way, then. But the last time I hid from your Mom, I didn't get the chance to tell her it was only because I was embarrassed."
The dream spun through my head over and over throughout the day – the near-miserable day whose morning consisted of trying to get Riku to lighten up during breakfast, trying to get him to crack a smile while we hunted down some normal clothes for me, and trying to learn more about the day before.
"So how did things go with Sora yesterday?" I asked as we trudged through the street. I'd gotten ahold of some black trousers that were baggy enough to look like normal pants, the hem dragging around the heel of my converse. I had a men's white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows and a hair ribbon in my hands, the messenger bag with Dad's sketchbook slung over my shoulder. Honestly, I had completely forgotten about it until Riku handed it to me as we stepped out of the inn – and I wondered when I'd stopped carrying it and he started.
Riku looked surprised when I mentioned Sora, and turned his head towards me a little. I figured he was looking at me, but the blindfold was blocking my view. "Fine," he answered, looking ahead again.
I stared at him blankly, twining the ribbon back and forth between my fingers. "I'm guessing you didn't want to actually talk to him, so you probably hid in the corner when he showed up. I'm also guessing that you were in total shock when he stepped into a bar, considering he's a minor and such a goody-goody."
"You don't know him," he said blankly.
I rolled my eyes. "I know you, and you usually give apt descriptions of people."
"You have nothing to base that on."
"Oh, hi, remember me? I went home and met Kairi? Yeah, she's exactly how you described her." I bent my head forward to look at him and maybe catch his eye again, but he was focused on the road ahead. I shook my head and stood upright again, pulling my hair back and winding the ribbon around it to make a ponytail. My bangs refused to stay in place, but most of my hair was being held back, and that was good enough for me. "I still don't get why you're so pissed at me."
"I'm not," he said quietly.
"Then why so silent? I mean, you're always monosyllabic, but it's usually a funny syllable."
"I just feel like being quiet."
I stared at him a long moment. I didn't think our argument last night was that serious… Did I hurt his feelings that much? I looked back at the road ahead. "Will you at least tell me why we're going to Beast's Castle?"
He glanced at me again. "You know your way around here?"
"Yeah, I had an agreement with the mayor once. Back when I didn't need to train." I shot him a look from the corners of my eyes. He exhaled a little more heavily than normal, but no other response came from him. I stared at my feet a minute. "How 'bout we kill time training today?" I asked, looking back up at him with a smile.
"Whatever," he shrugged.
My shoulders slumped. Have I ever been given a 'whatever' before? I couldn't remember, but if I had, this was an especially cold one. I don't get it. I know I snapped at him… but was it that bad? What else did I do? …Okay, I did smack his butt this morning, but that was an accident… Argh, he's being so standoffish! "Yeah, I'm the fickle one," I muttered.
It was early afternoon when we reached the gates of Beast's Castle, the wide path lined with huge pine trees that cast cool shadows, and I wondered at why Riku didn't just teleport us there. Which brought me back to my original question that had never been answered.
"So why are we here?" I asked.
"Waiting for Sora."
"Right." I might've figured. "We could train while we wait," I suggested as we slowed to a stop in front of the gates.
"Fine."
Now it wasn't just weird, it was annoying. I turned to face him. "Yes. Fine. Are you ready?" I grabbed his arm and turned him to face me.
"I guess."
"Great."
I clenched my right hand into fist and swung it towards his ribs. Fire. He shoved my fist up with his left forearm and went to hit me in the gut. I held out my hand to catch his fist. Blizzara! The force of the spell slowed the impact, but the ice dug into my palm. Not my brightest idea. I wrapped my right hand around the back of his neck and he crushed his fist into my ribs – I ignored the pain and raised my right knee to slam it into his gut – just as I made contact, he hooked one leg around my left and yanked it out from under me. Balance lost, sanity lost, and desire for communication growing, I clutched his hair in my hand and pulled him down with me as I fell.
We ended up on our backs beside each other on the ground, and I looked over at him, laughing a little.
"I missed that," I said. He grunted vaguely and started to get up. I sat up quickly and grabbed his arm before he stood. "I'm sorry, Riku," I said. "I shouldn't have flipped out on you last night."
"I don't care," he muttered. He was about a foot in front of me, and his head turned away from me.
"Then what's eating at you? Did Sora say something?"
He snorted. "Like Sora has this big an impact on me."
"Xehanort, then?" Silence. I pulled on his arm – he refused to turn. I scooched forward a bit and he turned his head away from me even more. I gripped his shoulder and yanked him back, shoving him to the ground, pinning his left shoulder there with my right hand. I leaned over him and pushed the blindfold up, determined to get him to say something. "Are you just pissed because you didn't get any?" I snapped.
He rolled his eyes and pushed me off with one arm, sitting up. I clutched his sleeve with a death grip, refusing to let him stand. "Let go," he muttered.
"You've got me grasping at straws, Riku! Talk to me!"
"Do you not know me anymore?" he snapped, glaring at me.
"Yeah, right, I suddenly forgot."
"You act like all I want is to get in your pants. Like that's all I want from you. I think you're just transferring."
"What?" I scoffed.
"'The lady doeth protest too much'."
"You're cracked!" I scoffed.
"Oh, so you really do think I'm just after your virtue?"
"What, so it's either you or me that's the pervert?" I let go of his sleeve. "What do you want me to say? 'I am a nympho. All I have ever wanted is a piece of ass.'" I punched his shoulder. "That's a load of bull!"
He stared at me a long moment, his expression turning angrier and angrier. He shook his head. "I don't know anymore."
"Know what?" He looked down at his lap, shaking his head. "Know what?" I pressed. He didn't speak. "Is it something from me you want to know? Since you're playing the quiet game, I'll just spill." I sat back on my feet and stared at my hands as they writhed around one another in my lap. "I'm afraid of being alone in a bed with you because I'm afraid of giving everything to someone and things not working out. I'm afraid of losing you because you're my best friend and I would be a worse version of myself without you. I'm afraid of telling you I love you because there are demons telling me you don't love me back. I never meant to hurt you and quite frankly I'm still confused as to how it spiraled into… this." I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck, forcing my eyes to his face. I was a little surprised that he was actually looking at me now.
"I'm not just looking for something to occupy my time," he said. My eyebrows knit, but I didn't want him to stop talking, so I stayed silent. "I'm not going to drop you the minute we get home." I waited for him to say more, but he didn't.
"I know," I said. He stared at me blankly a minute, then shook his head and sat up. I gripped his shoulder. "Hey! What? What's eating at you? I never thought you were going to drop me the minute we got home." He started to stand and I wrapped him in a hug, clutching myself to his side. "Riku… Please talk to me."
A raspy screech echoed around us, and I thought I heard the words "you goof" in it.
"That'd be Donald," Riku sighed, and we now sat behind the trees, hidden in the shadows. He stood up, prying me off of him, and I shook my head, glaring at my lap.
"Ridiculous." I just reduced myself to begging. And what do I get? "That'd be Donald". Fuck this. I stood up and walked back towards town.
"Where are you going?" Riku asked, nothing but curiosity in his tone.
"Oh, now you wanna talk?" I scoffed, turning to face him, walking backwards. "Since it's your time of the month, I'm going to go hang out with someone who makes more sense. Like the drunks at the bar." I turned around and looked over to see his blindfold laying in the middle of the path. "Oh, is that your sanity?" I said loudly. "Oops, no, that's too big to be it!"
I felt hands grip my shoulders and I was standing against the stone wall by the gate, Riku pinning me against it.
"I know you're mad at me but wasn't attracting attention like that just a little immature?" he hissed into my ear.
I laid a seething glare on him. "No, you know what's immature? Your entire attitude today!"
"How am I supposed to act when I keep feeling like you're going to ditch me the minute I'm not useful to you?"
The glare was now replaced with a blank stare. "What makes you think I'm just using you?" I breathed.
"You keep shoving me away, every dream I have is about you ignoring me, and every word Xehanort screams at me says 'you're no good for her anymore'."
I thought my heart would break. "Riku, I never—"
"I love you, and before you reply to that, do us both a favor and tell the truth."
I grabbed his face with both hands, trying to show that I was in earnest. I searched his eyes for a moment, trying to find out what he really wanted from me. "I love you," I whispered. "There's never going to be a moment that I don't."
He swallowed. "Then why am I so scared?"
I shrugged, twisting my lips to one side. "You're human. Humans don't like getting hurt." I realized that my hands were now resting around the base of his throat, his pulse radiating beneath my fingers. My face turned red, my eyes glued to the hollow of his throat, and I froze in place, suddenly unsure of myself.
His cheek was pressed against mine, his lips brushing my ear as he spoke. "I'm sorry I ever doubted you."
"I think it's just the vindictive shouting that changed your mind."
He laughed softly – I half-expected myself to melt under his warm breath. "Or the realization that I was being stupid. I want the truth, but if it means you leaving, I'd rather be played." His hands slid from my shoulders to my waist, the fingers of his right hand twisting around the fabric of my shirt, tugging me towards him.
"That's… oddly masochistic," I muttered.
"Call me a glutton for punishment." He pulled away and hung his head, still close enough that this meant his forehead was inches from my chest. "Ahh… You hear that?"
"No," I replied before actually listening. After a moment of silence, I actually heard a masculine voice, the raspy one, and one that didn't even sound real, it was so ridiculous.
Riku snorted and looked up at me. "You weren't paying attention to anything at all, were you?" he smirked.
"With you all up in my grill, can you blame me?" I retorted, shoving him back a little. I caught sight of Sora, Donald and the dog whose name I had yet to learn, surprised at how close they actually were – about fifteen feet from us, and gaining. I gripped the front of Riku's jacket. "They are right there," I muttered, pointing at them over his shoulder.
He glanced over his shoulder. "Oh, shit," he hissed.
We now stood on a slant, and I lost my footing, crashing into Riku and shoving him backwards, falling a good ten feet and crashing on top of him. I rested my forehead on the ground beside his head as I groaned with pain.
"Excuse me? Who are you?" asked a feminine voice.
I looked up to see a girl with brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, a blue dress gracing her slender figure. I'd seen her before – I remembered her walking around with a book in town. I leapt off of Riku and stood up, brushing myself off.
"Oh, oh, I am so sorry, please excuse us," I said, talking a mile a minute, "I was just so tired and he was so confused, I don't know what happened, really, one minute we were sitting in my father's library discussing politics with him, and now this! Ahaha! How did this happen? It's quite creepy, actually, right?" I looked to Riku for support, but his eyes were shut, and I saw blood beneath his head. My eyes popped wide open and I looked over at the girl with a weak smile. "Will you excuse me for just a moment?" I stepped between the two of them, blocking her view, and wondered how discreetly I could cast Curaga on him.
An extremely low, extremely gruff voice now chimed in, getting louder as Beast approached. "Belle! Get away from them!" His footsteps shook the ground as he sprinted towards us, and I panicked.
"Dammit Riku, you pick the worst spots," I muttered, flinging my hands up in front of me, a dark corridor opening. I leaned down and hooked my arms beneath his, waddling into the corridor, dragging him in front of me. I probably looked like I was trying to hug him and straddle him at the same time.
The door shut behind us just as Beast growled a threat, and I lowered Riku's shoulders back to the ground, desperate to get a better grip on him. I walked around him so that, if he sat upright on his own, I'd be standing behind him. I bent down and hooked my arms under his once more, this time looking like I was hugging him from behind, and toted him backwards to the other end of the corridor.
When we exited, and I laid him down, I looked around to see I'd taken us back to where he'd left his blindfold, in the middle of the path just outside the gates to the castle. I knelt at his side and lifted his head gently, trying to look for where his head had busted open.
"Curaga," I muttered, starting to get extremely worried. "Damn it, Riku, what did you do, put us on a roof? You can't just spring that kind of thing on me! Ugh, you're so dumb!" I pressed my forehead against his, silently praying that I hadn't hurt him too much. "Curaga," I whispered.
"I'm surprised you can carry me!"
His voice was so loud in my ear that I dropped his head and jumped back.
"You're alright?" I said, shocked.
He smirked. "I have been."
"But you were bleeding!"
"So?" he shrugged.
I stood up and crossed my arms. "We fell and you smacked your head against the ground!"
"Which really hurt. And then you cast Curaga."
"You little faker!" I kicked his side and he snorted, amused with himself. "You suck!" I started to walk away and he grabbed my ankle.
"Oh c'mon. I didn't know Belle was gonna be there. I was comfortable, until she showed up."
I tried to shake him off, but he grabbed the fabric of my pants and tugged himself upright, dragging me towards him a little. "It wasn't funny! You had me freaking out!"
"Oh, did I?" he said innocently.
I glared at him, grabbing his hand and prying it off my pants. "You're not funny."
"I get it from you, you know."
"Your horrible sense of humor? Oh, thanks!"
He wrapped his fingers around mine and tugged – I tugged back and he got to his feet. "Admit it, you'd have done the same thing."
"I would not!" He arched a cynical eyebrow at me. "You're cracked!"
"You're just mad you didn't think of it first."
"Oh, please!" I dropped his hand and walked over to his blindfold, picking it up with two fingers as if it was filthy. "Do you want this back, or do you want to play dead again?"
"Depends. Are you going to carry me around again if I play dead?"
I glared at him and shoved the blindfold in my pocket. "You don't deserve the privilege of anonymity."
He shrugged. "I don't need it. I have you to cover for me if something happens."
"Oh, I see!" I said, crossing my arms. "That was a test, to see if I have your back! Well listen, sicko, one more stunt like that and I just might change my mind!"
He stared at me blankly. "Really?"
"No! I'll always have your back! It's like some damn reflex! I just feel dumb for not realizing you were faking your unconsciousness!" I stormed past him, towards the castle. "Now are we going to stalk Sora, or what?" I heard him laugh softly as he trailed along behind me. "You're so full of it!" I muttered.
Fanfiction is run by Xehanort, I'm just sure of it. (Translation: It didn't let me update for quite a while.)
Welp, to the real point of these footnotes: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! Seriously. They're made of sunshine and rainbows and I love you.
