Inspired by: Nothing, easy way out.


Kane had to fill in a form, because he wanted to appear on a game-show again. Not the Weakest Link, but 'Who wants to be a millionaire?'.

He was bored, and the form bothered him. It bothered him because there would be more WWE-ers on the show, and somehow people wanted to know his opinions on those wrestlers.
Maybe they were scared Kane would poke their eyes out? Who knows...

Name: Kane with a K, for I am not a Christmassy person

Age: Unknown

Date of Birth: 06 - 06 - 19666 (Hey, am I from the future?! Rawesome!)

Place of Birth: Hell

Currently residing in: Death Valley, with my brother. And our Chipmunk Casey. Hunter burned my house down.

Favorite food:
Beth Phoenix

Favorite band:
Rammstein, they sing about fire a lot. A LOT! Mein Herz brennt, Feuer Frei, Feuer und Wasser and so on.

Favorite actor:
Glen Jacobs, did you see him in See no Evil? I wish I was him...

Favorite Color:
Pink like my outfit... I will include a picture

Rate you intelligence on a scale of 1 to 10
10, because I'm smarter than you and everybody else.

Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, Rey Mysterio.

Do you have any disorders?
According to Kozlov I have an Identity Crisis. I don't know how to be Glen anymore.

List your hobbies:
Stealing, wrestling, stealing, food, stealing, cosplay, stealing and I like videogames too. To steal videogames is the ultimate high.

What topics do you know alot about?
Fire and everything related... Criminals and thieves... Masks... and Videogames.

List your weaknesses:
I poke people's eyes out, I drink too much cola

List your best qualities:
I'm too sexy for my shirt, so I never put one on in the first place. I'm great at stealing, especially masks and hats.

Please give us your opinion on the following people...
This is obligatory because we must know if you pose any danger to other contestants.

Triple H

My best friend. We do everything together, from cosplay to stealing. My partner in crime.
He's odd but nice. But not very intelligent. Not the brightest crayon in the box really. But nice.
He looks good too.

Rey Mysterio
I still haven't massacred him, but if he's coming I will do it there. On international television, that is Rawesome.
His mask is ugly.

John Cena
Hm who? Do I know him?
Nice name though. Does he have a mask or a hat? Tell him to bring it with him.

The Undertaker
Damn him, he set me on fire, he claims my food, he has a stupid costume and he annoys me a lot.
He has also killed my pet-bunny Danzig... I wonder why, maybe he wanted its soul? I hate him.

Kane
I'm Kane. I'm Rawesome and the sexiest man alive.

Santino Marella
He's hilarious. Love his accent, love his hair, love his lover. Want his lover.
Must kill him to get Beth Phoenix for my own. Not willing to share.

Kozlov
Probably the most intelligent of them all, after me. He says Kozlov knows best, and he really does when Kane's not around.
Kane knows best after all.
He's cool and I will challenge him someday. Better competition than me he will never find ever anywhere. Too bad he has no hat. He should.
I will give him Shawn's someday.

CM Punk
Pretty boy... Good tag-partner despite the fact he's so tiny compared to myself. He's tiny compared to everyone except for that Bourne dude.
I don't like his tattoo's, Pepsi sucks. Coca Cola is much better.
But he doesn't know better...

Mr. Kennedy
He's so loud... So very, very loud... Someday I will make an attempt to destroy his vocal chords. Until that day I will cover my ears whenever I see him approach.
He's also dumb, he keeps telling people his name twice. And that 20 times a day. He needs a shrink.

The Glamazon
Oh hell yeah... I want her, in any way possible. Eh, the only woman here? How odd.
Put me next to her, at least I'll have something nice to look at besides myself in my pocketmirror.

Do you have any comments or remarks?
Yes, drive home safely. Don't drink and drive... Unless I'm at least 100 miles away from you, whoever you are.
I'm pretty, you are not.
Now take a look at the pic I've included.

Signature:

KANEEEEEEEEEEE aka The Big Red Machine/Monster aka The demented Kane