Kidoumaru Does Konoha!

Chapter 44

Zaku stirred gently on his bed, he'd been brought back the the apartment by Eiji after it became clear that Sakon would recover, "Hey, Zaku, are you alright?"

Zaku's eyes fluttered open and he looked Kin in the eyes. "Mmmm... I had the weirdest dream, I dreamed Tayuya and Tsunade-Sama were mud-wrestling, and..."

"You little pervert!" Kin leaned over and kissed him on the forehead.

"I guess that means you're alright." Eiji smiled.

"If I say I'm sick, will you kiss me again?"

"Certainly!"

"I was talking to Kin!"

...

Tsume watched as the final preparations were made, the chairs moved into place, the long carpet for the couple to walk down, the flowered archway. She sighed happily, My daughter's marriage, and to a boy I actually approve of! I never thought I'd see the day, I just wish her father were here to see this... Poor Kankurou, he's an orphan, his father was a real #!, but I wish his mother could be here. She frowned slightly, I don't know what I'll do when Temari shows her face around here, but she is his sister... That adorable Gaara, I wonder if Temari beats him too? I doubt it, if she'd ever laid a hand on him she'd be resting in pieces beneath a mountain of sand. Gaara may be sweet, but the Shukaku would never take abuse from anyone.

"Tsume-Sama." She turned to see, of all people, Uchiha Obito.

"Obito, it's good to see you."

Obito smiled, "Where should Obito put his gift?"

"We're having the reception at our home, just go by and talk to Kiba, he'll put it with the others."

"Kiba? Oh, your son, Obito was dead when he was born, or something."

Tsume looked at him sadly, she'd known Uchiha Obito as a child, he was probably the only Uchiha outside of Makoto, Sasuke's mother, who seemed to have any real claim to humanity. Seeing him so badly treated by fate was hard. "Obito, Thank you. It means a lot to me."

Obito smiled pure sunshine, "It's nothing. This is Hana and Kankurou's big day, and Obito is happy to help make them happy."

The tough-as-nails Inuzuka hugged the gentle Uchiha, "I always did like you, Obito."

...

Kankurou stood over the glass case, staring at the large variety of fresh flowers. They'd gotten most of the flowers already, but this was special. Yamanaka Inoichi stood beside him patiently.

"We don't have flowers like this in Suna, the ones we do have are usually from cacti."

Inoichi smiled, "Cacti have some of the most beautiful flowers of all."

Kankurou nodded in agreement. "I know you already knew this, but Hana means Flower. And that she is, jan. A truly beautiful flower."

"Have you decided yet? I'm not trying to rush you, I'm just curious."

Kankurou pointed to a specific corsage, "That one."

"Ah, the white rose, a beautiful choice." He walked over to another case and pulled out a thin, elaborate box, 'I'll just wrap it up for you."

"Thank you." He paused thoughtfully, "What was it like? Your wedding, were you nervous?"

Inoichi laughed 'Nervous, I was petrified! I was almost tempted to do like Shikato did before he proposed to Yoshino... Get blind drunk!" They both laughed, "But I was in love, I am still in love with my wife, and I fought through the fear and just took the plunge. I've never regretted it, except once every month..."

"Oh, I almost forgot about that! When it hits Temari, she hits everybody, jan!"

Inoichi nodded gently, He didn't particularly find it funny, considering recent revelations about Temari's treatment of her brother and her ex-boyfriend, but at least Kankurou could still laugh about it. He gently placed the corsage within the box, careful not to bruise the fragile petals. He was happy to talk to Kankurou, the boy had no parents, no father to ask questions of, not that the Kazekage would have answered with anything but insults or violence, and Inoichi had no sons, though he loved Ino more than life itself, he still wished he had a son to go with his perfect daughter. "Here you go, kid. On the house."

"I can pay!"

"Your money's no good here, Kankurou. You'll need it for your honeymoon."

Kankurou bowed gratefully, "Thank you, Inoichi-San."

The Florist/Ninja reached over and ruffled the Puppet Master's brown hair, "Just be good to her. Never take your girl for granted, and never, ever disagree with her!"

Kankurou laughed and pulled back, "Thanks for the advice, you're a great guy, jan."

"I only hope when Ino marries, she'll marry a good boy like you or Rock Lee..."

...

So, this is where that #! lives. Tayuya looked up toward Shikamaru's house, #! ANBU, if not for them, I could #! go right in and #! kill that #! She saw something moving on the roof, and noticed a figure dropping onto the veranda outside of the brat's window, and she took cover behind a small tree, peering around to see who it was. Nara Shikamaru apparently didn't see her, he just yawned and stretched. He was wearing only a pair of shorts, and Tayuya's eyes widened as the boy stretched his muscles, his nice, tight muscles... She gaped at the Pineapple-Head's smooth, pale skin, How the #! does a guy who lays in the sun watching #! clouds all day stay so #! pale?, She also couldn't help but notice that his shorts were a few sizes too small, #! bum's probably too #! lazy to buy new ones, not that she was complaining.

She almost passed out as he turned and bent to go into his window, giving her a perfect view of his butt. "#!, that lucky blonde #! Suna #!"

Shikamaru suddenly shot upright and spun around, staring towards the street and Tayuya, who was rather poorly hidden. His eyes widened and his cheeks turned bright red, "What are you...?" He covered his chest with his arms and scurried through his window, "Go away! You Troublesome Pervert!" He shouted from safely inside.

"Well, people wouldn't #! stare if you didn't #! run around in #! tight little #! shorts like a little #! manâ–´whore!" She heard a loud groan from inside, and the window slammed shut, followed by the curtains. #! exhibitionist!What's he #! expect!? #! ANBU, if it wasn't for them I could #! sneak in and #! catch that hot #! in the #! shower!

"GO AWAY!"

"Don't #! advertise if you ain't #! selling!" She suddenly noticed people staring, "What the #! are you #! looking at, you #! freaks!"

...

"Jirobou!"

Jirobou looked up from his lunch to see Kidoumaru hurrying through the hospital yard toward him. "Oh, Hi Kidoumaru."

The Spider-Nin sat next to his old teammate under the tree he was sitting beside, a determined look on his face, "Why are you guys here?"

Jirobou took a big gulp of air, "Because Sakon is sick."

"And there are no hospitals in Iwagakure? What were you guys doing outside of Konoha?"

Jirobou's eyes widened, "W-we were just, just passing by on our way to... Ame?"

"Nice try, fat-boy, but you're lying. Amegakure is the other way. Spill it."

Jirobou's chubby face turned pale, "We... We..."

"Spit it out!"

"We came here for revenge! Sakon, Ukon and Tayuya wanted to attack that Puppet Master, Gaara, his sister, the Dog-Boy and that Shikamaru! To get them all together at the wedding!"

Kidoumaru's eyes narrowed dangerously, "That's low even for us."

"I told them it was wrong, but Tayuya beat me up and... Us?"

"Do you think I've just forgotten you guys, written you off? I was worried sick about you jerks, and now you come back here to break up those poor kids' wedding and kill my friends, my family!?"

Jirobou grabbed him by the arm, 'Please, if they find out, they'll kill us! Worse than that, we'll be tortured!"

"Tell Tayuya and the Creep Twins to call the game off, or you'll all be wishing you'd stayed dead!"

Jirobou was near panic, "Please! Kidoumaru, please!"

"Did you idiots even think what would happen if you did this? You work for Iwagakure, Iwa would get blamed for this sick game and there'd be a war! Even if you got out of Konoha alive, Iwa would hunt you down! God, you guys are such idiots!"

Jirobou was practically on his hands and knees, but Kidoumaru was too mad to listen, "Tell the others to scrap this now, or I'll kill you all myself!"

Kidoumaru stormed off, leaving Jirobou under the tree, shaking in terror.

To Be Continued . . .