A/N: Suffering in the Ohio heat, Kurt, Sebastian, and Blaine find themselves stuck outside with no relief in sight ...
... and it's all Kurt's fault.
Notes: Makes a reference to 'Makeshift Constellations', just so you know.
"It's … so … hot!" Kurt moans, reaching out to his side in search of his bottle of Aquafina. He finds it, lying in the patch of sunlight they've been avoiding for the past two hours. His fingers wrap around its bone dry exterior, the water inside radiating heat through the plastic. Disgusted, he shoves it away. "Why is it so hot!?"
"Because it's summer" - Sebastian grabs his own ice cold and sweating bottle of water and surrenders it to his boyfriend – "and we live in the pit of hell."
"Why are we even out here?" Blaine grumbles, looking angrily from the pond in front of them and its lukewarm, algae-infested water, to the grass stretched out around them – or what would be grass if it hadn't been scorched by the epic heat wave Ohio had been experiencing. Right now, it's prickly and brown, like the quills of a dead hedgehog. "We're ice skaters! We spend our time indoors! In the cold!"
"I blame your parents, Seb," Kurt mumbles, lips parched, refusing to part. "Why did they pick this week to have your pool drained and cleaned?"
"Because they're living it up in a luxury resort in Italy, and have no idea how much we're suffering right now."
"True dat."
"Besides, I blame you, Kurt."
Kurt's head snaps to the side, hay-like spears of grass crunching loudly beneath him. "Me?"
"A-ha."
"Why me?"
"Because you were the one who said that you wanted us to do stuff other than skating!"
"What?" Kurt squints past the canopy of leaves overhead, their only protection from the burning sun, and focuses on the cloudless, blue sky. "When did I say that?"
"When haven't you said it?"
Kurt tries to roll his eyes, but they're so dry, they pretty much just stick to his eyelids. "Don't be dramatic. I think I only said it once."
"So you admit that you're the reason we're out here?"
"I admit to nothing. Besides, aren't you the one with a private bowling alley? And a movie theater? I mean, we could be there, right? Watching Black Panther in the ice cold a/c? That's something other than skating."
"True, but …"
"But what?" Kurt squints at his boyfriend. Sebastian is backlit, which puts the bulk of the sun right in Kurt's face, his obnoxious smirk finding its way through the spots of white in Kurt's vision.
"I wanted to see you in a swimsuit. You usually wear so many layers, I thought it would be a nice change." Sebastian rolls slowly through the humid air to a sitting position, and rises to his feet. By the time he's upright, he's covered in a sheen of perspiration secondary to the one already coating his skin. He wipes his hand dry on the leg of his board shorts, then reaches down to help Kurt up. "I'll admit, I was hoping you'd wear a Speedo, but I guess that job had to go to Blaine." He glares at Blaine, already on his feet, brushing dry grass off his legs. Blaine meets Sebastian's unamused expression and holds on, taking extra the time to adjust his skimpy, hip-hugging briefs, then tosses him a wink.
Sebastian scowls in disgust.
"That's incredibly sweet," Kurt coos, blowing his boyfriend an air kiss since it's too hot to get too close. "But if we don't get out of this heat soon, you'll be writing that on my tombstone."
