54.
Turning the Tables
After Tony and Shannon dropped Jasper and Alice off at home, Jasper asked Ali if they could talk for a few minutes and they settled into the bench swing on the Hales' front porch.
Jasper took hold of Alice's hands and cleared his throat a few times.
Finally, he said, "Ali, I know I don't deserve so many... second chances... but I want you to know that I appreciate you putting up with me. I really do love you, Ali." He looked deep into her eyes. "I'm not just... crushing on you... or... in it because I want to... get in your... pants. I am genuinely in love with you." He brought their hands up to his mouth and kissed hers. "I want us to be together forever. I pray every night that you feel the same way."
He searched her face and asked her tentatively, "Do you, Ali? Do you feel the same way?" He covered her mouth with his finger. "Think about what you want to say first. Please? I want you to tell me the truth, exactly how you feel. Don't just tell me what you think I want to hear. I will accept whatever... you say." He gulped at the thought of what she could say and held his breath, his eyes scanning her face.
"Well..." she began looking down at her lap. "I... I... Well, sometimes... I'm afraid of you. I don't know what will happen next... and I worry... but I do love you, Jas." She looked up into his eyes. "My heart nearly... bursts with it. I feel happy when you're happy... but it... scares me... when you get mad. I'm not used to you being like that. You were always nice to me when we were younger, and I always felt... safe with you. Now... sometimes... your eyes, they get all... dark and scary... like you want to hurt someone... hurt... me." Alice shook her head. "I feel like I'm being given some kind of... I don't know... test, or something. To see if I'm... worthy."
Jasper looked down at their intertwined hands, feelings of shame washing over him. "I'm so sorry, Ali. You know I would never hurt you, don't you?" He looked up at her and she nodded. "I don't know why I act the way I do. I just... I get so mad sometimes... I don't remember ever really getting mad like this when we were little. Now, it seems like I'm mad all the time. I just feel so... frustrated, and... insecure."
"Insecure? You?" Alice asked him incredulously. "But, Jas... you... you're perfect!" Jasper snorted and kissed her forehead. "No, really! You're so handsome... you sing... really well, and play guitar... you're good at baseball and football. You get good grades and everyone likes you. You have so many friends... why do you feel insecure? I don't... understand."
Jasper looked into her puzzled eyes. "Ali, it may seem that way to you... that I'm perfect, but... believe me, I'm not. I'm incredibly lucky... and very thankful for it... but I always feel like someone better is going to come along. Someone who doesn't forget to treat you like the sweet angel you are, and who never yells at you or... pushes you to do things... someone who is way better for you... better than... me."
"Jas..." Alice began.
"Let me finish, Ali." Jasper said gently, tears glistening in his eyes. "Maybe it'll be Matt... or some other guy... but I promise you... no one will ever love you as much as I do. No one. I just need to learn to... control myself. I will, I know I will. By the time we are old enough to get married and start our own life together, I will be in control. I promise you." He brushed the hair off her face and caressed her cheek. "I will not let you down, Ali. I won't."
Alice cupped his face in her hands and stared into his eyes. "I know you won't, Jas. I know you will be everything to me. I am still learning things, too, you know. We are both still growing and, by the time we are adults, we'll have worked everything out. It'll be okay."
Jasper smiled at her and brought his lips to hers for a gentle kiss. Pulling back, he said, "I love you, Alice Cullen."
She grinned at him. "I love you, Jasper Hale."
The rest of July passed quickly, and in relative peace and soon, it was August. Baseball was almost over and Brent and Edward were relieved. With the Battle of the Bands coming up, they wanted to practice as much as possible and baseball took up valuable time.
"Thank, God, tonight's our last game." Brent commented, messing around on his drums in the Hales' garage.
"I know! We should be practicing tonight." Edward complained, eyeing his keyboard.
"It's only one night, you guys." Jasper said, rolling his eyes and picking up his baseball glove. "It won't make that much difference."
"You don't realize how important this is, do you, Jas?" Brent exclaimed. "Famous bands have been discovered at this event. There could be record producers... agents... talent scouts... the possibilities are... endless!"
Jasper shook his head and chuckled at his enthusiasm. Brent scowled at him and Edward gave him a questioning look.
"I'm serious, J!" Brent told him, exasperated. "You know we're good enough."
"Sorry, Brent, I'm just not that worried about being discovered, is all." Jasper conceded. "I know we're good, but I just want to go out there and have a good time. I'm actually looking forward to the game tonight."
Edward decided to intervene. "Guys, we have to play tonight no matter what, so, we might as well make the best of it, whether we are looking forward to it, or not." He looked between Jasper and Brent. "We will do great in Milwaukee, and we will all have a good time."
Brent nodded and Jasper grinned. "You're right, we'll just make the most of it." Brent agreed. "I just... I really want to make it, ya' know? I want the dream... the whole thing." He looked at Jasper. "Don't you?"
Jasper pondered what to say for a minute, then he slowly shook his head. "No, Brent. No, I don't. Sorry. I'm going to school, to Northwestern to be a doctor, and marry Ali."
"Jas! You could give Ali everything. Think of the possibilities." Brent tried to convince him. "A beautiful house, cars, vacations... anything she could ever want."
"Except me." Jasper added defensively, pointing to his chest. "If I'm out touring with the band, I won't be around to enjoy all of that stuff, will I?"
"Like your dad is ever home." Brent interjected, moving close to Jasper, his hands on his hips. "At least you could take Ali with you on the road. She couldn't live at the hospital with you."
"Well, you're dad is never home, either, besides, I'm not staying at the hospital. I'm going to open a private practice so I can be home every night with Ali." Jasper informed him, putting his face closer to Brent's.
"Guys!" Edward interrupted. "Come on, we'll worry about it when we have to. Until then, I thought we were just going to enjoy the music."
Yeah, you're right." Brent agreed, backing away from Jasper. "Sorry, J."
Jasper bumped knuckles with him. "Me, too, man. No worries."
"Let's just play a great game tonight and have a great concert this weekend," Edward said, patting them both on the back. "and enjoy both of them."
Emmett came into the garage to let the boys know it was time to go.
"Is Ali coming, Em?" Jasper asked him hopefully.
Emmett shrugged apologetically. "I don't know, Jas, I didn't hear. Mom and Dad are coming... I'll go ask her, if you want."
Jasper shook his head. "That's all right. Thanks, Em. We should probably get going so we're not late."
The four boys walked over to the Cullens' to get Emmett's Jeep. As they were getting in, the front door flew open and Alice came running out, her long hair flying behind her.
"Jas! Jas! Wait!" she called. Jasper stopped and turned toward her with a grin. She launched herself into his arms and he caught her easily, a big grin on his face.
"What is it, Supersonic?" he chuckled. She tilted her face and looked at him sternly, hanging onto his shoulders.
"Maybe, I don't want to tell you now." She taunted. "I was hurrying so I wouldn't miss you."
Jasper put his forehead to hers. "You are always going at full-speed, Ali." He laughed, cuddling her to his chest. "Please tell me your news."
She gave him a sassy grin. "I am coming to the game with Mom and Dad. Will you take me out for ice cream afterward?"
"I would love to, darlin'. Shall we see if anyone else wants to come?" he asked her quietly.
Alice shook her head and her grin turned wicked. "Just the two of us. Maybe we can stop at the park on the way home and, you know, look at the stars."
His eyes darkened at her response and he whined under his breath. "Ali! Don't tease me... not before the game." She giggled and he scowled playfully. "How am I supposed to concentrate if I'm thinking about... the stars?" He asked her nibbling on her neck and making her squeal.
"Come on! We gotta' go!" hollered Emmett. "Besides, you two are disgusting!"
Alice and Jasper laughed as they looked over at Emmett sitting in the Jeep. He was putting his finger in his mouth like he was gagging himself. Edward and Brent laughed, too, and Jasper gave Ali a soft kiss and set her down.
"I'll see you in a little while, Angel." He got into the Jeep and called with a wave as they backed out. "Love you!"
Alice smiled happily at him and waved. "Love you!" She watched as the Jeep went down the street and wrapped her arms around her middle in a satisfied hug. She turned and went into the house, smiling and humming.
"Alice, come on. Let's sit over here." Rosalie called, already walking up the bleachers at the baseball field. Alice hurried up behind her and beckoned for her parents and the Hales to follow them. All six of them got settled and watched the Walworth County baseball team warming up.
Ali spotted Jasper and sighed at how handsome he looked throwing the ball back and forth with Emmett. They had been so happy the past couple weeks. There had been no fights, no jealousy, and hardly any nightmares. They had made out a few times and, though Jasper had been excited, he had controlled himself and had just enjoyed being with her. She didn't think she'd ever been happier.
Rose handed Ali a Coke from the small cooler she carried, and they settled in to watch the game. The boys took their places and Emmett came up into the stands to sit next to Rose.
"Jas is looking really good tonight." Emmett told them enthusiastically. "His arm is totally loose and he is kickin' ass. They should have this game wrapped up."
Rose and Alice looked at him and burst out laughing.
"What?" he asked, looking lost.
"Nothing." Rose said, and turned to grin at Ali. Emmett was so into baseball and they always laughed when he talked about it. It was the only thing he really took a hundred percent seriously.
Jasper was on fire and struck out the opposing team on the fourth batter, with the only hitter on first base.
Walworth County scored 4 runs, Brent bringing the others in on a home run. The crowd went wild and Jas was back on the pitcher's mound. He made quick work of the batters, only allowing one run, and scored a home run his turn at bat. Emmett was jumping around like his pants were on fire and the rest of their group were screaming and cheering.
Walworth County was ahead, 9 to 1, and Jasper was not letting anything past him. They won the game 11 to 2 in record time, and the Walworth County bunch swarmed the field. Everyone was clapping Jasper on the shoulder and congratulating him, but his eyes desperately searched for Alice. When he finally spotted her standing by the fence, his face lit up and he grabbed his bag and ran over to her.
Alice greeted him with a big grin. "Jas! You were amazing!"
"Thanks, Ali!" he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Ready to go get ice cream now?"
He looked so eager and Alice laughed. "Jas! Don't you want to celebrate with everyone first?"
He grabbed her hand, shook his head, and waved goodbye to their family as he led her toward the exit of the baseball field. Alice giggled and followed behind, admiring the way Jasper's baseball pants clung to his cute behind.
Once they were out the gate, Jasper pulled her up to walk beside him and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. They strolled along chatting and Ali felt so content and loved. They arrived at the ice cream parlor down the street from the field and Jasper ordered them each an ice cream cone, slung his bag over his shoulder and grabbed her hand again as they set off down the street for the park.
Ali was in heaven. She licked her chocolate ice cream cone and glanced up at Jasper. Her eyes went wide when she saw how he was staring at her. She watched melting ice cream run down over his fingers and she started to giggle. He looked down and tried to lick the melting ice cream off. He looked over at Alice again and his eyes went wide this time.
Alice was licking up and down her cone with exaggeration and rolling her eyes.
"Oh! This is sooooooo good." She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and started giggling again.
Jasper had a shocked look on his face. "Alice!"
His exclamation just made her giggle more and he grabbed her to him for a sloppy, ice cream kiss.
"You are getting very bold there, Miss Cullen." He gave her a wicked look and she giggled, again. He had a very pleased look on his face and Ali grinned as they finished their ice cream. She was eating the last of her cone when they reached the park.
Jasper looked at her questioningly, "Still wanna' look at the stars, darlin'?" She nodded and grinned. "It won't be dark for a while, you know?" he continued, wiggling his eyebrows.
"I know." She said, giggling. "We don't have to, if you don't want to." she offered, grinning at him.
"It's okay, Ali. I want to stay with you, believe me." Jasper told her and they walked into the park, hand in hand. Jasper led her on a stroll around the pond and they laughed at the ducks and talked about the baseball game.
"You were really pitching great tonight, Jas." Ali said admiringly. "I couldn't believe how fast you went through the other team."
Jasper looked at her sheepishly. "I was trying to hurry... to be with you."
Alice laughed out loud. "You mean I should've asked you to go... star-gazing... more often so you would pitch better?"
Jasper chuckled. "I don't know about better... but faster." He hugged Alice to him and gazed down at her happy face.
"I love you, Ali." he said. "I really do."
She smiled shyly up at him. "I know, Jas. I love you, too." She squeezed him hard and laid her head on his chest. He looked down at the top of her head and smiled affectionately. He didn't know what he had done to deserve her, but he was so glad he had. He stroked her hair and bent down to smell her.
She looked up at him. "You know, I meant to ask you about that." She saw his questioning look and felt a little nervous. "Um... why do you... smell me?"
He grinned. "Because you smell so good. It's like... I don't know... when you go to the bakery and they're baking cookies and bread. You just want to stand there and breathe in the smell. It's intoxicating."
Alice blushed, but looked pleased. "Is it just my... scent... or any girl's scent?"
Jasper wanted to answer honestly, but didn't want to upset her, so he hesitated a second." Well... I've thought that other girls have smelled good..."
"Like Savannah?" Alice broke in, pulling away from him with a frown.
He grabbed onto her and held her tight. "No... well, I don't remember if she smelled good, or not. But my mom smells good, and your mom, and Rose, but, your scent is... I don't know... I just can't get enough of it."
She looked up at him, searching his face, searching for the truth. "You don't remember if she smelled good?"
He shook his head, blushing. "I don't. I remember how... what we did... felt, but I don't remember that much about... her personally." Alice looked doubtful and Jasper rushed to reassure her. "I wasn't lying to you when I told you that I never... cared about her, Ali. I never would've... done those things with her... if she hadn't started it and I hadn't gotten... carried away. I would've waited for you, Ali. I will still wait for you."
"I... I... don't know..." Alice sputtered, looking unconvinced.
"It's all right, Ali." Jasper tried to reassure her. "I'm not in a hurry. We have the rest of our lives."
She dimpled up at him and he let out a sigh of relief, glad he had handled that all right.
They continued to stroll along the path surrounding the pond and Alice decided that she wanted to sit under the Willow tree furthest from the road. She led Jasper over to it and settled underneath it.
Jasper looked at her questioningly. "Ali, we're not going to be able to see the stars from under here, plus, it's not going to be dark enough to see the stars for at least another half hour."
She looked hesitantly up into his eyes and blushed. She wanted him to kiss her, but now that they were here, she wasn't sure if he would think her too bold.
He smiled at her, bending down to look into her eyes. "What, Ali? What's on that clever mind of yours?"
"Well," she started, looking at his chin, not sure how to continue. "I thought... maybe we could... pass the time like we did... the last time we were here."
He lifted her chin with his fingers. She raised her eyes to his and saw his wicked eyes and lop-sided grin. "I think that is an excellent idea." It was his turn to blush. "I was... hoping... when you suggested... star-gazing... that's what you meant."
She giggled and wiggled her eyebrows like he had done so many times in the past. "Hence, the super fast baseball game?"
He grinned, plopping down onto the ground and his mouth swooped down on hers. Alice let out a squeak of surprise and started to giggle again. Jasper smiled against her lips and finally pulled back to look at her. He grinned at her giggles and stroked her cheek.
"You can't fault my enthusiasm." He joked. Her giggles turned to laughter as he started nibbling on her neck. Her peals of laughter echoed around the park and she pushed him away playfully. He laughed at her and took off his baseball cap, pushing his hair off his face.
Alice's face sobered and she reached up to run her fingers through his long, silky blonde hair. He stilled, the smile falling off his lips as he became mesmerized by the feel of her fingers through his hair. She looked at his face and was startled by the intensity of his stare. His eyes darkened and she held her breath as he lowered his lips to hers. Alice let out a breathy, little moan at the feel of Jasper's lips on hers. He groaned in return and deepened the kiss, wrapping her in his arms and bringing her flush to his chest.
"Ali" he breathed into her mouth. "God..."
Alice let out a little whimper and he pulled back in alarm to look at her. "Don't stop, Jasper." Alice complained, trying to pull him back to her.
Jasper came back to her mouth, lowering her back onto the grass. It was dusk and starting to get fairly dark in the park, but Jasper had no intention of giving the whole town a show. A little necking was one thing, but he kept his hands on her arms or in her hair. As hard as it was, he had to remain in control.
Alice gasped and moaned, raking her fingers through his hair over and over again. She was making it really difficult for Jasper to refrain from ripping off her clothes, but he managed, and chuckled at her ardor. It seemed his Little Darlin' was losing her fear of him... finally.
Soon, Jasper felt he could take no more. His nether region was throbbing painfully and he was losing what little control his fifteen year old mind could retain. He ripped himself away from her pouty lips and intoxicating smell, and drew in several deep, cleansing breaths.
Looking back down at her in the dim light, his breath caught in his throat. She gazed up at him with soft, heavy eyes, her gorgeous, dark hair spread around her like a halo, and the temptation to dive back into her lips almost overwhelmed him.
Her lips were parted as she softly panted. "Jasper..." she breathed, and he made himself get up off of the ground entirely. She sat up with a frown, her hair falling all around her. "What are you doing?" She asked him, a frown between her brows. "Did I do something wrong?"
He ran his hand through his hair a few times, taking a few steps to distance himself from her.
"No, Ali. You did everything right." he chuckled, looking over at her. "That's the problem."
She looked puzzled, but then her face flooded with understanding. "Oh!" Embarrassment replaced understanding and she looked away from him shyly. Then her eyes met his again and he could see her love for him shining there.
She looked so adorable and Jasper groaned and took a small step toward her before halting and running both hands through his hair, slightly pulling at it to distract himself from her allure. Resisting her was proving to be much more difficult now that she was more willing.
His eyes widened as Alice got up on her knees and crawled over to him. He looked down at her, puzzled, until she sat up on her knees at his feet, her chin inches from his raging 'enthusiasm', and looked up at him from beneath her lashes.
Jasper took a tentative step back, she couldn't be thinking what he thought she was thinking, and Alice put her hand on his leg to stop him. His eyes went even wider when she ran her hand up toward the juncture of his thighs.
"I... we... um... I could try..." Alice began, but stopped, unsure of what to say. Jasper was slowly shaking his head, looking down at her, shock taking over his entire face.
"No! No Ali... just... no." Jasper told her, still shaking his head.
Alice sat back on her heels, her lower lip jutted out, her face in a full-on pout. "You let... her." She told him, lowering her eyes to the ground. Then she perked back up and looked up at him, again, her face hopeful. "Maybe I could just... you know... touch you?"
"Oh my God!" he groaned, looking up toward the sky, his hands in his hair again.
