A/N: A special chapter. A look into the lives of Blaine, Kurt, Bryan and Ian before they all connected/reconnected.


BLAINE

Blaine Anderson was tired of California. He was only staying for his fiance Ethan. And he even had his doubts bout him. He finished his last set at the coffee shop he performed at, earning a light applause. It had only been a year and a half since he graduated. Since Kurt left. No matter how much time passed, the hurt didn't ease. He put his guitar in the case and smiled before walking out and starting home. He lit a cigarette and sighed softly as he walked. He loved LA, he really did..But sometimes this life felt like too much for him. In a way, he was glad he never went to New York. It would be too busy for him. He made it home and plopped down onto the couch, letting out a deep sigh. Blaine thought about what he could make Ethan for dinner. Before he could even finish the thought, Ethan walked inside.

"Hey gorgeous." The blond smiled.

"Hey." Blaine said softly.

Ethan leaned down, kissing Blaine softly. " How was your day?"

Blaine shrugged. "It was alright. Nothing new."

"How is it 'nothing new' when you live in LA?" Ethan chuckled, sitting next to Blaine.

"I was just at the cafe." Blaine said.

"Still." Ethan said, giving Blaine the smile that got him his modeling job.

Blaine couldn't help but smile back. "How was your day?"

"Same as yours.." He chuckled, climbing into Blaine's lap.

"Better now?"

"Much.." Ethan hummed, learning in to kiss him softly. Blaine's smiled grew as he placed his hands on his fiancé's hips. Ethan gave a soft moan, rolling his hips down slowly.

"Ethan.."

"Yeah, baby? .." He smiled, kissing down Blaine's neck.

Blaine gripped Ethan's hips tighter. "I love that."

"I know..I know what you'll love more, too.." Ethan chuckled, licking his collar bone. Blaine's head fell back as he gasped. Ethan moved down Blaine's body until he kneeled on the floor in front of Blaine, mouthing at his crotch. Blaine ran his fingers through Ethan's hair as he moaned.

"I want to taste you, Blaine.." Ethan whispered. Blaine unzipped his jeans before pulling them down just enough. The model smiled, pulling out Blaine's length. "Shit.."

"Talk to me."

Ethan slowly started to pump Blaine's length. "Fuck..You're so big.." He moaned, licking up to the head.

"Shit.."

Ethan smiled, quickly taking Blaine down his throat. Blaine arched his back as loud moan escaped him. Ethan grinned, looking up at his fiance. "Fuck, Ethan.."

Ethan hummed softly, speeding up the bobs of his head. Blaine rolled his hips up, moving in time with his fiancé.

After a few more minutes of this, Ethan could tell Blaine was close. Blaine closed his eyes. He was almost there..He just needed something to push him, he moaned deeply as the thought of Kurt spread out beneath him, moaning softly and bathed in moonlight flashed in his mind. So perfect and beautiful.. That was all Blaine needed to let out. He thrust up into Ethan's mouth, giving a harsh grunt as he came. Blaine trembled as he came down.

Ethan hummed as he swallowed around Blaine and pulled off, licking his lips. "Well, I must've done something right.." He grinned. Blaine just gave a lazy smile. He climbed up Blaine's body and gave him a soft kiss. "Let's get to bed, huh?.." he whispered.

"Yeah." Blaine said, picking him up and carrying him.

Ethan giggled lightly, wrapping himself around Blaine. Blaine smiled as he pushed their door open. Ethan peppered kisses along Blaine's jaw and over his lips as they laid down.

"You really want to marry me?" Blaine whispered.

"Of course I do..You really want to marry me?.." Ethan smiled.

"I do." Blaine said quickly.

"Are you sure?" Ethan asked, chuckling.

"I am."

"Good.." Ethan whispered against Blaine's lips. Blaine sighed as he pressed their lips together.

Ethan kissed Blaine softly before pulling away. "Goodnight.."

"Night."

A few weeks later, Blaine walked home with twelve roses in his hand and a spring in his step. Something about today felt amazing. He decided not to go play at the café and go home to surprise his fiance.

He walked inside and paused as he heard soft moans coming from his bedroom. He recognized them as Ethan's and smiled. Blaine quietly walked closer. He had walked in on Ethan playing with himself before. He loved it. Today really was an amazing day. He pushed the bedroom door open to see Ethan with his face pushed against the mattress and his ass in the air. Usually Blaine would've enjoyed this, save for the strange man fucking into his lover roughly.

"What the fuck is this?!" Blaine yelled, throwing the roses on the bed.

Ethan sat up as the man jumped back. "Blaine! I-I thought you'd be at the café!"

"You thought wrong. I came home to surprise you. Who is this?!"

"Umm..Th-This is Geoff.." He said softly. "Why don't you join us, baby?.." He asked softly, trying to put on a smile as he walked over to Blaine.

Blaine pushed his fiancé back. "How long has this been going on?"

"Umm..About two months..."

"Fuck you." Blaine said, shaking his head and stepping back. "We're engaged! Doesn't that mean anything?"

"Of course it does, baby..Sex is just sex..It doesn't impact what we have.."

"Had. What we had."

"What? You're just gonna kick me out?.."

"It's over." Blaine said, getting angrier by the minute.

"Oh yeah?..What are you gonna do? Just play guitar in a fucking coffee shop for the rest or your life? Guess what, honey. There's thousands of guitar players in LA you're going nowhere." Ethan spat, gathering his clothes while Geoff did the same. "I can't believe I wasted my time on a loser like you."

Blaine stopped Ethan before he walked out. "At least I'm more than a whore like you."

Ethan stared at Blaine and pulled his ring off and threw it on the floor before walking out with Geoff not far behind. The anger in Blaine boiled over as he started to trash the place. He ripped down the curtains and smashed a lamp, angry tears filling his eyes. Blaine turned the mattress over. He felt so disgusting. He shoved the blanket off of the bed and curled up on the bare mattress. He felt like his heart has been stomped on. He thought of the night Kurt left and whimpered. Blaine had known Ethan wasn't the one. But he also knew who was. And that was the boy that left him after giving him the most amazing night Blaine could have ever imagined. He needed Kurt..But he had no idea where he was.. He wouldn't even know where to begin to look. He buried his face in the mattress as a wrecked sob escaped his body. Why Blaine? Why was it him always getting hurt? One thing he knew was that he would never be happy..He was destined to stay miserable forever. .

KURT

It had been a couple months since Kurt's grades and attendance at NYADA started slipping. He had been getting more into the party scene and hanging out with more of the wrong people, but it was all in good fun.. Especially at Samantha's house. The air smelt of sex and cigarettes as Kurt threw back another shot and his friends cheered around him. A guy on the other side of the room was watching Kurt. Kurt grinned as he licked across his teeth, locking eyes with the man. Being only nineteen, he had been basking in the attention of other men. He'd been getting quite a lot of it these days. The man held a hand up and did a 'come here' motion. Kurt set the shot glass down and walked over, smiling seductively. He put his hands on his hips and raised an eyebrow. "Can I help you?.."

The man gave a crooked smile. "Dance with me. I want to talk."

Kurt bit his lip. "Make it worth my time.."

"Oh, I will." The man grinned, wrapping an arm around Kurt's hips and leading him to the dance crowd.

Kurt smiled, wrapping his arms around his neck. "You got a name?.."

"People call me Dez. You?"

"Kurt." He said, pulling a small baggie containing a few pills from his pocket. "So..Why exactly am I dancing with you?.."

"I think we'd make a good team. But we'll talk about that later." Dez grinned, turning Kurt around and grinding against him. Kurt gasped, biting his lip and giving a small moan. He looked back at Dez, placing a pill on his tongue before holding one to the other man's lips. Dez gladly took the pill before sucking a finger between his lips and winking at Kurt. Kurt grinned, swallowing the tab of ecstasy and pushing his ass back against Dez. Dez moved his mouth to Kurt's neck, kissing down the pale column. Kurt moaned softly. After a few minutes the drug began to kick in and Kurt couldn't get enough of Dez's hands on him. He moaned and whimpered helplessly, palming at himself as the amazing sensations raced through him. Dez grinned. He knew this would be easy. "Let's go somewhere alone."

Kurt nodded quickly, giving small pants as he clutched to Dez. Dez took Kurt to an empty room. He pushed him against a wall and grabbed Kurt's ass, lifting him and grinding against him.

"Fuck, yes.." Kurt moaned, rubbing his hands up his own neck to his hair. Every nerve end was screaming and everything just felt so good.

"You're so sexy." Dez growled.

"Fuck me..Mmm..Please..I want you.."

Dez set Kurt down and quickly undressed them before throwing Kurt to the bed. Kurt laid back, rolling his body against the sheets. "Take me..Please..Dez.."

Dez stroked his hard dick as he settled between Kurt's thighs. He leaned down and pressed into the begging younger man.

Kurt moaned loudly at the amazing feeling. "Yes! Ah!"

Dez wasted no time. He nipped at Kurt's neck as he pounded into him. Kurt gave a harsh cry, his back arching off of the bed. The drugs combined with the heat and contact felt so perfect. "Fuck me! Oh my god.."

"Scream for me, Kurt. Scream like a whore." Dez growled.

Kurt laughed giddily at the name, his body humming as another moan was ripped from his lips. "You want me to be your whore?..Ungh..I'll be your bitch!.."

Dez pulled out quickly, chuckling as Kurt whined. "Get on your knees."

Kurt did as he was told. "Please..Please touch me again..I need it.." Kurt panted desperately.

Dez stood up and pulled Kurt to the edge. He smacked the pale ass roughly. "You like that, bitch?"

"Yes!" Kurt cried, nuzzling against the sheets. Dez spread Kurt wide before slamming back into him. Kurt moaned wantonly, pushing his ass back in time with the other man's thrusts. Dez scratched down Kurt's back before reaching around and stroking Kurt quickly. Kurt's body trembled fiercely as he edged closer. "I-I'm close!..Fucking make me come!"

Dez sped up. "Come for me, Kurt. When you're done, I want you to sit in front of me and take all of me in your mouth. Got it?"

"Y-Yes!" Kurt got out before a scream escaped him and he came, his body twisting and writhing against the bed.

Dez rubbed Kurt's back as he ride out his orgasm. "So good."

Kurt hummed happily, smiling back at Dez. "Fuck..Your cock feels so good in me..Mmm.."

Dez reached forward and cupped Kurt's jaw. "Come taste it."

Kurt nodded, letting Dez lead him with his hand.

Dez stroked himself a couple of times as Kurt watched. "You want my come, Kurt?"

"Yes..Yes..I want it.." Kurt whispered, his dilated eyes wide with anticipation.

"I'm going to come all over your face, baby." Dez grinned as he slowly pushed his hips forward.

"Please..please..Fucking come all over me, I want it.." Kurt panted, sticking his tongue out.

"Take me, Kurt. All of me."

Kurt quickly did as he was told, sucking Dez down his throat eagerly. Dez gasped as Kurt took him to the hilt without sputtering. Kurt swallowed around him, looking up and smiling.

"Holy shit!" Dez moaned. He thrust quickly in and out of Kurt's mouth before making Kurt take him completely and staying there. Kurt held on as long as he could before he gagged around the long, thick cock.

"Hold on, Kurt. Swallow. Swallow, baby."

Kurt's eyes watered as he started swallowing slowly, breathing through his nose. Dez gave a low moan as he pulled out, letting Kurt catch his breath. "God damn, that's good."

Kurt licked his lips, panting softly.

"Make me come, Kurt."

Kurt leaned in, licking and sucking at Dez's balls slowly. Dez moaned softly, rubbing Kurt's back. Kurt purred at the contact, kissing up the shaft to suck Dez quickly. Dez hissed. "Almost there."

Kurt gripped the base, speeding up his movements. Not even a minute later, Dez pulled out and came all over Kurt's face. Kurt moaned, opening his mouth and closing his eyes. Dez stepped back and watched Kurt. "You'd do so well."

"What?.." Kurt asked, rubbing over his face and licking his hand.

"Did you like that?" Dez asked lowly.

"Yes.."

"What if I told you that if you worked for me, you could have that much fun every night and get paid for it?"

Kurt tilted his head to the side. "Wait..So..You want me to..Charge?..

"Yeah. A lot of my girls do it. There's always been something missing. And I think it's you." Dez said, moving closer to Kurt. "I want you."

"I.." Kurt blushed, trying to clear his swimming mind. "I-I don't know.."

"Think about it." Dez said, suddenly towering over Kurt. "You're friend does it."

"Jess?..She does it because she doesn't have any other choice.." Kurt said quietly.

Dez shrugged. "They all say that."

Kurt looked down, running his hands up and down his thin arms. "I-I..Why should I work for you when I can do it myself?.."

"You don't know how it works. You could go out there and get hurt. Or you could work for me."

"What do you want if I do?..."

"Just a little cut of the money."

"That's it?.." Kurt asked timidly.

"That..And I get to sample my merchandise whenever I want..But I don't see you having a problem with that.." Dez chuckled.

Kurt blushed looking down. He was still on the fence. Maybe he should do this..He needed the money..The drugs were starting to put him into debt.. Dez cupped Kurt's chin. "Come on, Porcelain. I know you want it."

Kurt gasped softly at the name. "When can I start?.."

"Tomorrow night. Tell Jess to help you get an outfit ready."

Kurt bit his lip, nodding. "Yes, sir.." He whispered.

"See you tomorrow." Dez grinned before walking out.

Kurt wrapped his arms around himself and grabbed his phone, dialing Jess' s number.

She answered after a couple of rings. "Hello?"

"Jess..I just met Dez..Apparently we're co-workers now.." He said, giving a humorless laugh.

"What?" Jess said quickly. "You're always trying to get me to quit."

"I know..But..I need the money..And..I'd rather do this with you than one of us be alone.."

"When do you start?"

"Tomorrow..I'm scared.."

"Don't worry! I'll help!"

"How?..Fuck, I'm too high for this.." Kurt sighed, rubbing up and down his neck. "Come pick me up?.."

"I'm on my way."

"Thank you.."

"You're welcome." Jess said, grabbing her keys.

Kurt got dressed and lit a cigarette, weaving through the crowd until he was outside. It didn't take long until he saw Jess pull up. He stumbled over to her and rested his head on the driver's side window. "Jessss.."

Jess rolled the window down. "Get in sweetie."

"Mmkay.." He hummed, climbing into the passenger side. He leaned over, giving her a soft kiss. "Thank yoouu.." he hummed.

"How did this happen?"

"What?" He asked.

"With Dez. You can't just quit, you know." Jess said.

"I can't?..." Kurt asked, his eyebrows kneading together.

"No. This isn't a game. I hope you can handle this."

"Stop.. You're killing my high.." Kurt groaned.

"Alright. What do you want to do?"

"Let's go score something else..I'm not ready to be sober.."

"I know just the place." Jess grinned.

Kurt smiled. "This is why I love you.."

"I love you too."

Kurt rested his head on her shoulder and hummed happily, rubbing over his chest. "So..Did Dez fuck you to win you over too?."

"No." Jess sighed. "He knew he didn't have to."

"What do you mean?.." Kurt asked, looking up at her.

"I was too desperate for the money. I didn't need to be convinced."

Kurt grabbed her hand. "Well now we we can do it together.."

Jess kissed the back of Kurt's hand. "Together."

Kurt smiled lightly. "Always.."

Two months later, Kurt had quite a few regulars. Many of the girls were jealous of the 'clients' Kurt had picked up. In the beginning, it had been scary. But one night, one of the girls shared a little secret. What she used to get through the night. Heroin. Kurt was hesitant at first. But there were a few clients he couldn't be even remotely sober during. He and Jess were at a party one night and Kurt sat in a guy's lap, whispering to him. "You don't even have to pay me..Just give me a fix.." He whispered against his ear.

The man thought a moment. "Alright. But let me do it."

Kurt nodded, holding his arm out and tying it off as he licked his lips. He watched with hungry eyes as the needle was prepared. "I'll treat you so good baby.." he smiled. The man carefully prepared it and pressed the needle to Kurt's bruised arm. He expertly found a vein and slowly injected the addictive liquid into Kurt, looking into his eyes as he pulled it out. Kurt moaned deeply, rolling his hips down. "Mmm.." he breathed out as the warmth spread through his body.

The man bit at Kurt's ear. "Let's go to my room."

Kurt nodded, rubbing over where he was injected. They walked up to the room and kurt looked up at him. "What do you want?.." he slurred, rubbing over the man's crotch. "Fuck I want you.."

The man chuckled. "You're pretty horny for someone who just had a fix."

"I know.." Kurt chuckled. "Usually it only makes girls feel like this..But..I'm not like most men.." Kurt chuckled, batting his eyelashes at him. The black eyeshadow messily applied around his eyes made them flash a bright blue.

"Definitely not like any man I've been with." He said as he grabbed Kurt's hips. Kurt wrapped himself around the man, laying back on the bed and doing his job.

Afterwards, he stumbled out, not bothering to even zip his pants up as he searched for Jessica. He found her on a couch in the corner and sat on the arm of it.

"Jess.." He mumbled, leaning against her.

"What, babe?"

"I dunn feel good.."

"What's wrong?" Jess asked.

"I miss Blaine..I want Blaine.." Kurt got out, laying back as his stomach churned.

Jess sighed heavily. "Well, go find him."

"No..I don't want him to see me like this..I'm disgusting.." Kurt got out, throwing his arm over his eyes. "I just fucked a guy for some dope.."

"You didn't get the money?" Jess aske quickly. "Dez is going to flip."

"Dez can get over it..It's my asshole..I'll do what the fuck I want with it for whatever the fuck I want.." Kurt spat bitterly.

Jess just shook her head. "Alright, Kurt."

"He can't tell me what to fucking do. That's why I've been holding back on his share of my money."

"Kurt! Shut up! Be careful who you say shit around!"

"What is he gonna do?! He won't do shit..I'm his money maker. I give him more than any of those other bitches do..Not including you.."

"Kurt, you haven't seen him when someone doesn't make their money.."

"Because he doesn't suspect anything from me..And he won't because he's a fucking idiot." Kurt slurred loudly.

"Kurt, please stop." Jess pleaded.

"It's not like he can hear me..Unless any of these bitches are gonna go snitch!" He yelled, nearly losing his balance on the arm of the chair.

Jess stood up quickly. "I don't want a part in this, Kurt."

"Jess..No, I'm sorry..You're acting like he's gonna kill us or something.."

"Or something." She said, grabbing some guy's hand and leading him to the back. Kurt rolled his eyes, finishing his drink he left earlier and walking outside to smoke.

A tall man was already outside, taking the last drag of his cigarette. "I heard you need to make a little money."

Kurt smiled. "You heard right.."

"What're you into?"

"Whatever you want if the price is right.." Kurt said, wrapping his arms around the tall man's neck.

"You sure about that?" The man grinned.

Kurt nodded, biting his lip.

"What's the highest amount you've ever gotten?"

"I've gotten seven hundred. Wore lingerie for a guy.." Kurt said, tracing down his chest.

"I'll double it if you come to my house for a night." The man smiled.

Kurt chewed on his lip. "Well..Alright..But give me a minute..I'll be right back.." He said walking back inside to find his friend. He found her pressed against a wall in the hallway. "Jess..I'm sorry, I need to talk to her." Kurt said seriously.

Jess groaned. "Give me one minute. I'll make it up to you."

The guy sighed, nodding and letting her go.

"Jess..This guy just offered me fourteen hundred to come stay the night with him.."

"And you're still here why?"

"I don't know..I've never stayed the night with a guy.." Kurt sighed, rubbing his eyes. The small amount of heroin he was given was already starting to wear off.

Jess bit her lip. "What if I came with you? What is he into?"

"I don't know..But I can't pass this up..Would you really?.."

"If he'll pay me too. Go ask."

Kurt nodded, hurrying outside. "I have a friend..She'll work on you too if you double it.." Kurt whispered, running his hands down the tall man's body.

The man couldn't help but grin. "I hope you're into kink. Go get her."

Kurt grinned, going to get his friend, despite the displeasure of her would be client. Jess apologized and said there was an emergency. She rescheduled another time to meet him before running off with Kurt. Kurt walked outside with the guy. "This is Lacy.." He said, introducing her by her fake name.

"What's yours?" The man asked.

"Porcelain." Kurt smiled.

"I want you two to call me either sir or master, understood?" He asked as they climbed into his expensive car.

Kurt looked over at Jess. "Yes sir.."

When they walked into the man's large house he led them to his basement. Both Kurt and Jess gasped. There was every toy they could think of and plenty neither had ever seen before. Steel cock chastity belts, a dildo face harness, suction sets, a dildo attached to what looked like a drill.. Dildos and vibrators of every shape and size. This guy was definitely into hardcore BDSM with all the cuffs, collars, restraints, blindfolds, gags and muzzles. He had whips and paddles, everything someone could imagine. Some even looked like medical supplies.. Manible body clamps, foreceps, along with anal and vaginal speculums.

"Oh. My. God.." Kurt whimpered.

"In here, you do as I say. We will have a safe word. You do not have to do something you don't want to. But the more you're into, the more you get."

BRYAN

Bryan was always different according to his father. He loved dancing and singing when he was told to love baseball and physical activity. He never was particularly close to his Dad, despite his efforts. He tried the things his father liked but they just weren't him.

"Daddy! Look what I drew!" Bryan chimed, holding up a picture he drew of his family.

"That's good." His father said dismissively.

"Do you like it?!"

"Yeah, son."

Bryan climbed up into his father's lap, giggling happily.

"Bryan." The older man sighed. "I'm trying to work."

"Play with me, Daddy!"

"I have to work. Go find your mother."

"She's busy too.." Bryan pouted.

"We can play catch if you want." His father sighed.

"Okay!" Bryan smiled. He wasn't good at catch, but if it meant spending time with his dad he didn't mind.

"Go get the ball. We'll go outside."

Bryan ran off to his room grabbing his untouched glove and baseball.

His father met him outside. "Ready?"

"Yes!" He grinned, holding his gloved hand up. His father pitched the ball lightly.

Bryan grabbed at the ball and missed. His father sighed. "Throw it back."

Bryan picked it up and jumped, tossing it up.

"You throw like a girl. Do it again."

Bryan grabbed the ball and grunted, throwing it as hard as he could.

"Well, I guess you won't be the baseball player that I wanted."

"I can do it.." Bryan whimpered, picking it up again. His dad knelt down, waiting for the ball. Bryan concentrated, throwing the ball but missing a few feet to the left.

"A little better."

Byran grinned. "I'm good!"

"Almost." His dad said.

Bryan held his hand up in the air. "Throw it daddy!"

He threw the ball a little too hard. It hit Bryan's glove and bounced off.

"It hit my glove!"

"You have to catch it."

"I almost caught it!"

"In a game, almost doesn't count."

Bryan frowned. "Okay.."

There was a loud roll of thunder and the older man sighed. "Let's get inside."

"Can we try again tomorrow?.." Bryan asked.

"We'll see."

Bryan smiled, hugging his Dad's leg. "I love you, Daddy.."

"Love you too."

They walked inside and Bryan ran to the kitchen. "Mommy Mommy! I almost caught the balll and I threw it far! "

She turned away from the stove and picked her son up. "Good job, Bryan! Want to help Mommy cook?"

"Yes! Don't tell daddy..But I like cooking more than baseball.." Bryan whispered.

She giggled. "That's okay, baby. I do too."

"I'm gonna be like you, Mommy."

"Yes, you will, sweetie. And there's nothing wrong with that." Mrs. Taylor smiled.

"He's a boy!" His father yelled. "And if he's any son of mine, he's gonna start acting like it.."

"Let him be who he is."

"He's a Taylor. Taylor men play ball and don't cook."

"We'll talk about this later."

Bryan's little lip quivered. "What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything." She said calmly. Bryan nodded, looking down. She kissed the top of Bryan's head as her husband stormed off.

"Am I not a boy?..I wanna be a boy.." Bryan whimpered.

"You are a boy. But not every boy likes sports and that stuff. You're father is being stupid. Don't listen to him."

Bryan nodded, hugging his mother close.

As time went on, Bryan grew more into musicals and dance instead of sports. It caused many problems between his parents. So often that Bryan would usually hide in his room after school. They would fight and scream, making Bryan believe it was all his fault. When Bryan was fifteen he found out he was starting to have feelings towards boys his age. He repressed it until he was eighteen and finally decided to tell his parents.

"Mom..Dad...I'm gay.." He said, his parents sitting in front of him in the living room.

Mr. Taylor got up, grabbing his keys and slamming the door behind him.

Bryan's mother burst into tears. "Why'd you have to tell him?"

"W-What?" Bryan ran out after his father. "Dad! Don't go! If you don't stay for me, stay for Mom!"

"Let him calm down." She sniffled. "We always knew. But it didn't need to be said out loud."

"I-I wanted to tell you..T-To get it off my chest.." Bryan whispered as she ushered him back inside.

"We've known since you were a kid. I don't care who you love. But he does. You have no fucking idea what you just did."

"W-What did I do?.." Bryan asked, fear in his chest.

Mrs. Taylor shook her head as she climbed the stairs.

"Mom?.." Bryan whispered.

She walked to her room and slammed her door.

That night, Bryan was getting into bed when his father came in drunk. He stumbled up he stairs and started packing his things.

Bryan stuck his head out of the door. "Dad?" He called.

"What are you doing?" Mrs. Taylor cried.

"I refuse to have a FAGGOT as a son. This is YOUR fault. I want nothing to do with this."

Bryan slowly walked to the door, listening.

"You knew he was gay! He loves you, he's your son!"

"He is NOT a real Taylor!"

"He is your son!" She yelled again.

Mr. Taylor continued to argue as he packed his bag.

Bryan's eyes filled with tears. This was his fault..

Mrs. Taylor grabbed her husband's arm. "Don't leave me..Please..Please!"

He shrugged away and pushed her back. "It's over. Done. I'm leaving."

"Please! I'll do anything.." She gasped, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"It's too late." He said, pulling the door open and seeing Bryan.

Bryan stared at his father with red eyes full of disgust. "Why are you running?..I thought Taylor men were brave.."

His father eyed him, not saying anything. "I knew you'd do this." He finally said before leaving.

Bryan stepped to the side, looking to his mother.

"Why did you do this?!" She cried from her position on the floor.

"What did I do?..Be myself?..Try to tell you something I was terrified to say? What would he do when I-I bring a boyfriend home?.."

"He didn't have to know!"

"Ever?!"

"Go to your room, Bryan!"

"Why should I?.."

"Just go!"

Bryan turned on his heel, walking to his room and slamming the door.

His mother started to pull away from him. She blamed him more and more every day. Every day Bryan tried more and more to get closer to him.

"Mom?.."

"What?"

"Why don't you love me like you did when I was little?.." he asked her over breakfast one morning.

"I do love you. I'm just hurt."

Bryan stared blankly at his cereal. "Dad's not coming back. We need to move on.."

"He's my husband." Mrs. Taylor said flatly.

"He's my father.."

"And he left. I'm dealing with it."

"In the wrong way..Blaming me."

"He left because he didn't want a gay son."

"No one had a choice in the matter, not even me.."

"I guess."

"You guess?..Mom..I need you to be here for me..This is hard for both of us."

"I'm here, aren't I? I'm still giving you everything you need. Plus searching for a second job to take care of you. What else am I supposed to do?" She snapped.

"Its not just money or physical things mom..I just..Need you.."

"I'm right here, Bryan!"

"You don't get it! I need you to love me! To hug me and say we can do this on our own, and we don't need him! That you'll love me no matter what.." Bryan got out.

"I just told you I love you. I do. But your father.. I can't do all of this without him. I'm not happy. I don't know if things will be okay. But I'm trying!"

Bryan just looked down, sniffing lightly.

Mrs. Taylor sighed. "What is it that you need right now?"

"For you t-to say its not my fault.."

"It's not your fault. It's just how he sees things."

Bryan nodded, wiping his eyes.

"I just miss him.."

"Why?..After how he treated me.."

"He's my husband. I'm in love with him."

"All those things he said to me?..Called me.." Bryan whispered.

"It's terrible. I know."

"How can you love him?.."

"Feelings don't just go away. Especially if you've been married for years."

Bryan grabbed his bowl and put it in the sink. "I'll see you tonight.." he said before walking upstairs.

IAN

Ian Saunders was ten years old. He didn't feel normal. He went to school like the other boys his age. But he didn't have the same interests. He'd play sports but didn't care for them. And when he'd hear another boy talking about a girl they had a crush on, Ian didn't quite understand. He hadn't felt that way about a girl. What he did understand was music. His mother bought him a baby blue acoustic guitar for his birthday, which happened to be today. He grinned, wide, running his palm over the flawless finish. "Gracias Mami!" He smiled, jumping up to hug her legs.

"De nada, hijo." She grinned. "Play for me."

Ian smiled, the curve of the guitar sat perfectly on his knee as if it were made for him. He strummed it slowly and the beautiful sound sent a warm glow through his body. Ian's mother watched him proudly. She knew he'd go somewhere with this talent.

"That's amazing, Ian.." His uncle Rodger said happily, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you." Ian said quietly as he paid more attention to what he was doing. The eleven-year-old kept his guitar within arm's length for the rest of the day. He had fallen in love with the instrument.

They had a small party with ice cream and a guitar shaped cake. Ian opened the rest of his presents and went to go play.

"So, I was thinking, if Ian wanted, I could take him off your hands for the night. Have a little fire and make s'mores at my place. Catch some fireflies and maybe pull the tents out. Would that be alright?" Rodger asked Ian's mother as Naomi rolled her eyes.

"That sounds wonderful, Rodger. I think it'd be a nice end to today." She smiled, not noticing her daughter's gesture.

"I'll go see what he thinks." Rodger smiled. Ian was sitting on his bike, pedaling around the driveway idly when his uncle approached him. "Hey Ian. You want to go camping at my house tonight? We can build a fire, too." Rodger grinned.

The blue eyed boy's eyes lit up. "Yeah!"

"Go get packed up and we'll go."

Ian put his bike away and ran inside, bouncing with excitement. He loved camping, especially when it was in the back yard. He packed up and said bye to his family before heading to his uncle's house. They made a fire and roasted hotdogs. Rodger couldn't help but watch Ian eat his.

After dinner, they caught a few lightning bugs and let them go. They made s'mores and played a little more before changing into pajamas and climbing into the tent. Ian cuddled up in his sleeping bag. "Uncle Rodger?.."

"Yes, Ian?"

"Today was really fun..One of my favorite birthdays." The little boy smiled.

Rodger kissed the top of Ian's head. "Good. I'm really glad you had fun. Are you tired yet?"

"No." Ian giggled lightly.

"Can you keep a secret? If you can, I can show you something special. It'll help you sleep. Just for your birthday. But no one can know about it."

Ian grinned. "Okay."

"Promise me you won't tell anyone. No one else knows about it. It's top secret, Ian."

"I promise.." Ian smiled.

"Okay. But we have to get undressed for it to work." Rodger said quietly as he reached for the hem of Ian's shirt.

"W-Why?.." Ian asked, suddenly nervous.

"Because it feels better. It's okay, Ian. We're family. No one else can see you."

Ian bit his lip and nodded. "Okay.."

"I'll go first." Rodger said, getting on his knees and taking his shirt then boxers off. "You're turn."

Ian sat on his knees and slowly did the same.

"Watch me first." Rodger said, gripping his dick at the base and slowly stroking himself. "See how it's changing?"

Ian nodded slowly.

"It feels really good. Try it on yourself."

Ian nervously did as he was told. "O-Oh.."he gasped.

"Feels good, right?"

"Yeah.." Ian got out.

Rodger let out a small moan as he kept touching himself. With his free hand, he ran his fingers down Ian's stomach and back up to his nipples. "Go a little faster."

Ian nodded, giving sharp puffs of breath. "A-Ah."

Rodger licked his lips. "It's going to get better, Ian. Keep going."

Ian closed his eyes, his hips thrusting up into his hand. "I-It feels good..S-Something..Ah! Something's happening.." Ian whined.

"Keep going, Ian. It's a good thing."

Ian gasped harshly as a rush of heat burst in his pelvis and rushed through his body, making him tremble. Rodger's breathing picked up as he watched Ian come down. "How was that?"

"I..Uh..I-It was good.." Ian panted, looking down at his member. Nothing happened, it was still standing up. "W-What do I do?.."

"You could do it again. Or I can show you something better."

"Better?.." Ian asked, his voice nervous again.

"It's the same thing. But it feels better when someone else does it." Rodger explained.

"O-Okay.."

Rodger scooted closer so Ian was between his thighs. He laid Ian down and spread his legs so he could see the small rounds of his behind. Rodger gingerly ran his fingertips up Ian's small length. Ian gasped, his face flushing red. This didn't feel right.. Rodger went slow, feeling Ian and admiring his nephew.

"Uncle R-Rodger..I don't like this.."

"Why? It'll feel really good, Ian."

Ian bit his lip, nodding and keeping quiet. Rodger wrapped his hand around Ian and stroked slowly. The young boy gasped, his back arching. "See, Ian?" Rodger asked lowly.

"Y-yes.." Ian whimpered.

"You're doing so good, Ian."

Ian whined, his thin body shivering with the pleasure he was still uneasy about.

"You're almost there." Rodger said, rubbing Ian's thigh. Ian's body tensed and the amazing feeling shot through him again. He cried out, his uncle stroking himself quickly. Rodger moaned as he watched Ian. He stroked himself harder and faster, looking at Ian sprawled out in front of him. He grabbed his shirt and used it to catch his come as he spilled himself. Ian looked up at Rodger, his eyes heavy and his body exhausted.

"Remember this was our little secret. Happy birthday, Ian."

Ian's eyes slipped closed and he quickly fell asleep. Rodger watched Ian for a moment before pulling his boxers on and falling asleep next to Ian. Rodger moved further with Ian each time they spent time together. The more they did, the more insecure and confused Ian felt.

But he promised not to tell. So, he never did. It went on for a few years. Ian was almost fifteen. He had lost interest in friends. He went out almost every night, looking for drinks and any random person to hook up with. It was the only way he knew how to escape. Ian would go out and stay out just hoping his uncle wouldn't be near his house by the time he got home. He was walking home one night, trying to act sober so his mother wouldn't be able to tell he had been drinking. He froze, fear shooting through him as he saw his uncle's car. He was about to turn around when the driver's door opened.

"Ian..You need a ride home, bud?.."

"I'm good." Ian said as he kept walking.

"Ian. Get in the car." Rodger said seriously.

"I feel like walking. It's nice out."

"I can tell you're drunk..I'm sure you don't want your mother finding out." Rodger said darkly.

"Are you serious?" Ian groaned.

"As a heart attack. Get in, bud."

Ian mumbled under his breath as he got in.

"What were you out doing?.." Rodger asked as he got in the car.

"Just with friends."

"Friends that let you walk home drunk and alone?.." Rodger asked, placing his hand on the teen's leg.

"I can take care of myself." Ian sighed, moving his leg away.

"Don't be like that with me.." Rodger said, his voice sickeningly sweet.

"Like what?"

"You know.." The older man said, leaning over to kiss Ian's neck.

"You're going to hit something if you don't watch the road."

Rodger chuckled, looking back the road before pulling over. Ian crossed his arms and sighed. "You get pissy when you're drunk.." Rodger said, leaning over to kiss across Ian's jaw.

"I'm not even drunk." Ian groaned. "I'm really not in the mood."

Rodger sighed. "Well then just get me off and I'll take you home.."

"Just like that?" Ian asked.

"Just like that.."

"Well, pull it out."

Rodger smiled, unzipping his jeans. Ian gave a deep sigh as he reached over and pumped his uncle. Rodger grabbed his wrist. "Nuh uh.."

"You didn't say what I had to do." Ian said, pulling back.

"Come on, Ian..For me.." He said quietly.

"God damn it." Ian groaned. "Make it quick."

Ian looked down as his uncle dropped him off at the house, tears filling his eyes. "Bye, Uncle Rodger.."

"Good night." Rodger grinned before speeding off.

Ian wiped his eyes, slowly walking back to the house.

Ian's mother was sitting in the kitchen. "Ian, where have you been? I've been worried!"

"I was out." He said, keeping his eyes on the floor.

She studied her son. "You okay, hijo?"

Ian nodded. "I'm fine.."

"Do you want to talk?"

"I really just want to go to bed..If that's okay, Mom.."

"Okay." She sighed. "Good night."

Ian hurried to his room and closed the door, leaning back against it before walking to his bathroom to rinse the taste out of his mouth. He hated this. He hated his uncle. But he couldn't stop him. He took off his shirt and ran his hands through his hair. There had to be something he could do to distract himself from this..Sex and drinking..That wasn't enough.. He opened the drawer and saw a box of razor blades. Ian bit his lip as he picked one up and sat on the edge of the tub. He put it to his wrist before drawing back. Someone would see if he did it there. Would this really help? Could this pain distract him from how much emotional pain he held inside? Ian decided it was worth a shot. He undressed and placed the metal against his thigh. He pushed down and dragged it along his skin, blood bubbling up and spilling over. Ian hissed lightly at the sting. It definitely distracted him. It actually..felt kind of good.. Ian did it again and relaxed against the cool tile. He closed his eyes letting the light pain fill his mind. This was the escape he needed.

Since that day, Ian cut every day. Sometimes several times. He was at his friend Jake's when he began to change into sweat pants and his friend saw the perfectly straight scabs where his boxers rode up a bit.

"Dude. What the fuck?"

"What?" Ian asked, quickly pulling the sweatpants on.

"What did you do?" His friend asked.

"I-It's nothing. Can we just smoke?" Ian said.

"If you want. But, I'm here if you need to talk."

Tears rapidly filled Ian's eyes. "I-I.."

"Ian, what is it?"

Ian sat on the bed and rested his face in his hands.

"You can tell me." The other boy said softy.

"I did that..To myself.."

"Why?"

"I..I've never told anyone Jake, so I swear to god, if you tell anyone..'

Jake held his hands up. "I won't. I swear."

Ian's tears began to stream down his cheeks. "I just..I..I can't.."

"Take a deep breath, Ian. I'm here for you. Whatever it is."

"My...My uncle..Makes me..Do things to him..And..H-He touches me.."

Jake gasped. "Shit, Ian. How long has it been going on?"

"Five years.."

Jake stood up and paced around his room as he thought.

Ian wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry.."

"No. I'm going to help you stop him."

Ian looked up. "Y-You are?.."

"Yes." Jake said seriously. "You don't deserve this."

"I don't?.."

"No one does. Ian, you deserve so much more than that." Jake said. "I know this isn't ideal. But do you think you can handle it one more time?"

"It's better than ten more.." ian whispered.

"If you're comfortable... I can tape it. Use it as blackmail to get him away from you."

Ian looked up at his best friend. "You would help me?.."

"If the roles were reversed, I'd hope you'd do the same. I want to help."

"Thank you..Thank you so much.." Ian whispered, hugging him tightly.

"No one will know." Jake whispered back.

Ian nodded, hugging him tighter. "You don't know what this means to me.."

"It's okay, Ian. You can do this. We'll stop him. When do you want to do this?"

"Tonight..Just take me to his house.."

The two sat down and planned how to sneak Jake in before heading to Rodger's home. Ian got out while jake parked and waited for the signal. Ian would make sure the front door stayed unlocked and then text Jake. Rodger heard the knocking on the front door and wondered who it could be. He grinned when he saw his nephew. "Ian. What a great surprise!" He said, ushering Ian inside. "You look..really good.."

"Thanks..I just..Thought I'd stop by.." Ian said softly.

"How are you?" Rodger asked, stepping up behind Ian.

"I'm fine.." he said, walking away from the front door.

"I've missed you, Ian." Rodger said lowly.

Ian gave a weak smile. "I missed you too Uncle Rodger.."

Rodger sat down on the couch. "Come here, gorgeous."

Ian walked over, a sick feeling settling in his stomach. He swallowed before straddling his uncle's lap. Rodger ran his hands down Ian's sides to his ass. "Fuck. You've grown up so much, Ian."

Ian reached into his pocket and hit send. He gasped quietly, closing his eyes. "I-I have.."

"Let's go to my room." Rodger smiled. Ian nodded, swallowing roughly. When they reached his room, Ian heard the front door shut. They had planned for jake to hide in his uncle's closet. Ian pressed himself to his uncle and Rodger grinned. "Seems someone's a little eager."

"I just..Really need this.." Ian whispered, kissing up his uncle's neck. Rodger turned so his back was to his door as he backed Ian up to his bed. Ian laid back as he saw the door slowly open. He pulled Rodger down, gasping deeply. Jake slid into the closet without a sound, keeping it cracked for the camera. Ian closed his eyes, letting his head fall back.

"I'll never forget that first night.. So young and beautiful." Rodger sighed. Ian looked away, swallowing the bile in his throat. Rodger pulled Ian's shirt off slowly. "Watching you grow up.. Into this.. You're really developing, Ian."

"Thank you.." Ian whispered.

Rodger kissed down his nephew's chest and stomach. "What should we do today, baby?"

Ian's breath wavered. "W-Whatever you want Uncle Rodger.."

"That's my good boy." Rodger grinned as he worked on Ian's jeans.

Ian automatically lifted his hips, staring at the ceiling and hoping his uncle wouldn't comment on the cuts. Rodger undressed them slowly. "Get on your knees, baby boy."

"Yes, sir.." Ian did as he was told, his expression blank. Rodger took no notice to Ian's uninterested tone as he pressed into the teen. Ian gasped quietly, his jaw clenching as a whimper escaped.

"You're doing so good, Ian. So good.."

Ian cursed the tear that escaped him as he took in a shaky breath. "Fuck.."

Rodger leaned forward as he started to thrust harder, making Ian collapse on the bed. Ian grunted as the pain overwhelmed him and he started to whine loudly.

"Hold on, Ian. Fuck, I'm so close." Rodger growled.

Ian's body shook as he cried into the mattress. "P-Please pull out.." he got out in barely a whisper. Rodger complied. He pulled back and pumped himself quickly before spilling himself all over Ian's back. Ian clutched to the sheets, hiding his face in the blankets. Rodger breathed out heavily as he rubbed his nephew's ass. "So perfect."

Ian gasped quietly, wiping his eyes.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Just..Felt so good.." Ian breathed out, giving a fake smile.

Rodger leaned down to kiss Ian softly. "Go clean up, kid. I'll take you home."

Ian nodded, a distant look on his face as he got up and slowly walked to the bathroom. He needed to give Jake a chance to leave. "Come help me?.."

"Of course." Rodger smiled.

Ian closed his eyes, pretending he was anywhere else as his uncle wiped him down, touching him slowly. Jake stayed in the closet but sent Ian a text. "Meet me at the car."

Ian got dressed and turned to his uncle. "I-I think I'm just gonna walk home.."

"Are you sure? I can give you a ride."

"Yeah..I just really want to walk.."

"Okay. I'll see you later. Thanks for stopping by."

Ian nodded, accepting another kiss before walking to Jake's car. He gasped. His friend wasn't in the car..Did he make it out?

Jake waited for Rodger to get dressed before stepping out of the closet. He took the man by surprise and slammed him against the wall.

"What the fuck?! Who the hell are you?" He asked, pushing the teen off of him.

"A friend of Ian's. And I got that whole thing on tape." Jake said, holding up the camera. "Come near Ian again and I'll fucking castrate you myself. Got it?"

Rodger growled reaching for the camera, but Jake dashed away and was out the door.

When he walked up to his car, he had tears in his eyes. He had never seen anything like that. Jake was sure he'd never forget it.

Ian was crying when he saw Jake. "Where the fuck were you?.." He asked quickly, pulling Jake into his arms.

"I stayed behind." Jake said quietly.

"Why?.."

"I took care of it. He won't be coming near you again."

Ian just wrapped himself around his friend, sobbing heavily. It was finally over..Five years of torture..

Jake held his best friend close. "I-I'm so sorry, Ian."

"No..Thank you..Th-Thank you..I'm free.."

Jake gave a small smile. "You are."

Ian just let Jake hold him as he cried. Jake brought Ian back to his house so his parents didn't have to see him this way. They laid on the bed, Jake holding his friend. "I-I'm sorry if this seems too..gay..or something." Ian whispered.

Jake chuckled lightly. "Not at all."

Ian sniffed, smiling lightly. "I love you, man.."

"You don't have to say that.."

"What?..I mean it.."

"I'm just glad I could help.." Jake said, staring at the ceiling.

"What's wrong?.." Ian asked softly.

"It's not important.."

"I didn't think what happened to me was important..C'mon dude, tell me.."

"If I do.. I'll lose you." Jake whispered. "I can't risk that."

"Hey..You're my best friend..Youll never lose me." Ian said, looking into his friend's eyes.

Jake took a deep breath and sighed. "I like you. I really like you. I hate watching you go around and sleeping with other guys. And today.. It was so hard to stay in that closet. I wanted to kill him. He's such a fucking pervert. I-I know it's ridiculous and would never happen.. But.. I-I've liked you for..a while.." He got out in a rush.

Ian stared into Jake's eyes before leaning in to kiss him softly. Jake gasped, trying to blink away his surprise. Ian placed his hand on Jake's cheek before pulling away. "I like you too.." he smiled.

"Y-You do?" Jake asked with wide eyes.

"I do.."

Jake grinned, pulling Ian close. This felt too good to be true. But jake didn't care.

Ian smiled. "It feels good to kiss someone..I actually like.."

"I could spend all night just kissing you."

"Can we?.." Ian whispered, his eyes shining.

"I'd love that." Jake smiled as he leaned in. Ian smiled wide as he kissed his best friend deeply. Jake couldn't help but whimper as he wrapped himself around Ian. Ian pulled Jake on top of him. This felt so perfect. In that moment, Ian was happier than he could ever remember being. They spent the night just kissing. It got a little heated but they'd cool off before kissing again.

"You are just..Wow.." Ian smiled, tracing along Jake's bottom lip.

"So are you." Jake blushed. "I can't tell you how many times I imagined this."

"Really?..How did you imagine it?.." Ian whispered, biting his lip lightly.

"So many different ways. They're kind of embarrassing.."

"Tell me.." Ian smiled.

Jake closed his eyes and imagined his favorite. "The most frequent one was you telling me you notice how I look at you and you're tired of waiting for me to make the first move. You.. pull me close and I jump into your arms before you press me between you and a wall...my legs wrapped around you and pulling your hair as you kiss me.. First my lips.. Then down my neck and back up to my ear.." Jake shivered, his eyes still closed as he squeezed Ian's hand. "You bite and breathe in my ear.. Oh god.."

Ian gasped quietly as he felt real, genuine arrousal for the first time in his life. "Jake..That's so hot.." Ian whispered, gripping his thigh.

Jake breathed out shakily. "You're hot.."

Ian pulled Jake close and kissed him fiercely, his hands quickly finding his ass.

Jake whimpered as he hooked a leg over Ian's hip. "Ian.. I-I don't want to go too far tonight.. But.. Can we just.. Grind..? With our clothes..?"

"Of course.." Ian said, moving his hands up to Jake's waist.

Jake rolled on top of Ian and worked his hips slowly. "Oh my god.."

Ian looked up at him. "Sh-Shit..That feels..Ohmygod.."

"I-I've never done this.." Jake whispered. He leaned down and kissed Ian deeply. "Flip us over.. I want to feel you on top.."

Ian did so quickly, rolling his body in fluid motions as he kissed up to Jake's ear.

Jake's head fell back. "I-Ian.."

Ian moaned softly in Jake's ear. "When Y-You're ready..I-I want to be your first.."

Jake nodded quickly. "M-Me too.."

Ian moaned, nipping at his earlobe. "Jake.." He panted.

"Oh! I-Ian.. I-If we don't stop.. Oh god.."

"Come..Please..I wanna hear it's you.." Ian whispered.

Jake moved his hips with Ian's movements. He clutched to Ian as he let go, coming in his sweatpants. Ian followed soon after, Jake's name slipping from his lips. Jake pressed lazy kisses down Ian's jaw. They cleaned up and spent the night in each other's arms.

As the days went on, Ian got closer to Jake. They were a couple without the title. But as they got closer, Ian felt like he didn't deserve Jake. Jake was perfect. And Ian was a damaged victim that couldn't keep a bottle out of his hands. Drugs became even more frequent in his life and by the time he was sixteen he was rarely sober. Jake fought to keep Ian but he couldn't get through to him.

When he heard Ian was beginning to sleep with other guys again his heart broke. Ian stumbled into Jake's house one night, five hours after he said he would come. He walked back to Jake's room, feeling along the walls.

"What're you doing here?" Jake asked when Ian walked in.

"You asked me to." Ian slurred, giving a crooked smile. "C'mere baby."

"No."

"Why?" Ian asked, climbing onto the bed. "I want you to hold me..I'm dizzy..Just..I want you.."

"So, I'm just supposed to be okay with you fucking other guys then climbing into bed with me?" Jake spat angrily. "I told you how much it hurt me to watch you be with other people. You said you liked me.."

"I do..I do Jake..I'm sorry..They don't mean anything to me..You mean everything..I'm just scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Of you finally seeing what a piece of shit I am and that I..don't deserve you.." Ian got out, his voice breaking.

"Ian.. I know everything about you. If you'd stop the drinking and being with other guys, you'd be perfect."

"I can't..This is all I deserve..You're so perfect..I don't treat you like you need..I'm no good for you.." Ian whispered.

"You were. You could be again." Jake said as tears filled his eyes. "Please don't leave me.."

"I-I don't want to leave you.." Ian said, cupping his cheeks.

"I want you, Ian.. I'm ready.. Just, not like this.."

Ian swallowed. "I-I understand.."

Jake sighed, giving in and resting his head on Ian's chest. "Please try.. For me.."

"I will..I promise.." Ian whispered, wrapping his arms around Jake.

"Don't make plans for next Saturday. I have a surprise for you."

"What is it?.." Ian asked, wiping his eyes.

"Well, if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, silly." Jake chuckled lightly.

Ian giggled, "True.." He said, closing his eyes.

Saturday came quickly for Jake. He had spent all day cooking the perfect dinner for Ian. He had told Ian to be at his house around six. Jake set up a little picnic in his room. He made their plates and lit candles around his room. He took a step back and grinned. The steak, potatoes and green beans looked amazing. The candles gave a romantic glow. This was exactly how he wanted to give himself to Ian.

At about six thirty there was a knock on the door and Jake grinned. Ian was a little late but Jake wouldn't let that ruin their night. He opened the door and smiled wide.

"Hey baby."

"Hey, gorgeous.." ian said, his words slurred in the slightest.

"You've been drinking?"

"No..Well..Not recently.." Ian said, shrugging and rubbing over his thigh.

"I asked you not to. I want tonight to be special.."

"It was earlier today, babe, I'm not that drunk.."

"Fine." Jake sighed, stepping aside so Ian could come in. "Are you hungry?"

"Always.." Ian grinned, planting a kiss on Jake's lips. Jake led the way to his room, swinging his hips slowly as they climbed the stairs. Ian smiled as he followed Jake, nearly losing his balance as he followed up the stairs, but keeping his composure. Jake bit his lip as he opened the door to his room.

Ian gasped softly. "Oh wow, babe.."

"Sit down." Jake smiled. "I want tonight to be special. For us.."

Ian nodded, sitting down a bit unsteadily.

Jake started cutting his steak. "Do I make you happy, Ian..?"

"Of course, babe..You're the only good thing I've got.." Ian smiled.

Jake's heart fluttered. "I feel so lucky to have you.."

Ian smiled. "Whatever.."

"I do."

"I'm the lucky one.." Ian said slowly.

Jake tried to ignore the slur. He just asked for one night without drinking and Ian couldn't even do that.

Ian saw the flash of emotions dance across Jake's face. "What's wrong?.."

"I just wanted you to be sober for this." Jake said quietly.

"I am..Kinda..Babe, I'm here.."

Jake brought his knees to his chest. "This was important to me."

"I'm sorry..I just had a really bad day."

"What happened?"

"I dropped out of school.."

"What?!"

"I just can't do it anymore! It's too much stress. I came home and I had a few drinks..There's nothing wrong with that."

"There is when you're doing it every damn day."

Ian looked up at Jake. "What are you saying?.."

"I'm saying I don't want to see you turn into an alcoholic." Jake said seriously.

"I'm not gonna turn into an alcoholic!" Ian yelled.

"Look at you, Ian! You will if you keep this shit up!"

"Look at me?!" Ian stood up. "You know what? I don't need this. I don't need you! I don't need anyone! No one gives a fuck about me and this is why I still fucking cut and have to numb myself with drugs. I can't do this! I can't take everyone judging me! Now you?! I cry myself to sleep every night I'm not with you because I know what a fucking piece of shit I am!..Thanks for reminding me.." he said, tears streaming down his cheeks as he stormed out.

"Ian!" Jake cried out, running after him. "Please, don't go! I-I love you! Please, Ian!"

Ian froze halfway out the door as he heard Jake say he loved him, bracing himself on the frame.

"Please, don't go." Jake whimpered.

"I love you too..That's why I have to.." Ian got out, walking out the door and running down the street.

Jake collapsed in the hallway, curling in on himself and breaking down. Where was he going? Would he ever see them again? Maybe Ian would calm down and come back.

Ian called Naomi as he broke down. He opened up to her about his drinking and drugs. She talked him into going to an inpatient clinic to get help before heading home to take him.