"I had a dream about this, you know," Gendo murmured, swiping at the counter with a single, dismissive finger. Projected satellite imagery within the slab flitted by at the movement, each one revealing the same thing: a vast, city-sized disk in the earth, one hundred yards straight into the ground. Dongfeng Aerospace City had once existed in the expanse, and now all that was left was that smooth, empty plain. Smooth as glass. Smooth as death. Where roads led into the city, they terminated, like veins cut and discarded. Where there was still urban sprawl, many structures and neighborhoods had been sliced down the middle as though a giant press had squeezed them.
"Did you?" Fuyutsuki murmured. He rested his head in one hand, his eyes closed as he dozed. For some reason, these days…he was just so tired. So tired. Perhaps it was age, or just trying to keep track of all the threads, but every now and then, a spell would come upon him, and he would have to secrete himself away somewhere to just…sit. To be silent. Immobile. He didn't try to hide it around Gendo, though. What was the point? He would find out anyway.
"I didn't know it at the time," Gendo explained. "I would argue the case now, though. I warrant there's a lot of that going around, these days." He shook his head. "You would think it would be a sphere…."
"Pardon?"
"The empty space. The theory stands that Dongfeng vanished into a Sea of Dirac, created by a failed S2 test." He leaned back. "If it was a failure on the part of the S2 organ, wouldn't it simply create a sphere?"
"An unplanned rip in space," Fuyutsuki said, leaning back and forcing his eyes open. The bout of exhaustion had not yet passed, but he was focusing on Gendo's words. "You're saying this is targeted."
"Another…unknown…Angelic entity," Gendo said, enunciating each word with a curious swirl of his finger as though knocking them back and forth. There was nothing jocular or cheerful in the tone and gesture, however. It was a movement of resigned anxiety, a belated acceptance of the changing, uncaring nature of events spiraling beyond grasp. "We should consider ourselves lucky it was in China."
"And against Unit-04. That was fortuitous."
"Yes, it was at that. The Committee will not be able to implement their Scenario without it."
"Could they still use…well, you know." Gendo squinted at Fuyutsuki.
"I swear, you've become almost superstitious about Unit-01." The older man glared at Gendo, almost perplexed by the strange hypocrisy of that statement.
"Well, for God's sake, Gendo, it's Yui! And, really, what is containing 'her' down there beyond her good will and willingness to be contained?"
"It's not for 'God's' sake, that's for sure. Maybe Shinji's?" Gendo slumped forward in his chair, adopting his favorite thinking pose.
"I know that's why he's here, but you can't control Shinji."
"It was never about controlling him. Just…having him do what was required. There were other reasons, but he didn't need an active part in them." He rubbed his eyes. "I imagine that we'll be seeing Unit-03, in the wake of this. It's their backup solution."
"And the American Pilot?"
"The vegetable or the spare?"
"Take your pick."
"Well, as long as Samson stays where he is, that's all well and good. I still believe there may be more than just the boy hiding in his skull, but there's nothing we can do about that at the moment beyond keeping him quarantined. We're limited in regards to foreign assets. As for the new one…Rita Perresh. I don't like it. I didn't like the first American's presence, I liked it even less after meeting him, and I'm damned sure I won't like the new one. Too many little spies wandering around in the GeoFront to keep tabs on."
"Afraid there's something they'll find out?" Fuyutsuki chided.
"Of course not, but it's grating. If she's anything like Samson, she'll be compelled to search behind every facade. If there's one thing I've learned about secrets, Fuyutsuki, the best way to hide them is to leave them out in the open."
"That could come back to bite you," Fuyutsuki warned. Gendo shrugged, and scratched his hand. It itched.
"Don't stop…buh-leeeaaa-vin!"
Rei sipped thoughtfully at a glass of soda, watching as Shinji and Asuka enthusiastically and not-entirely-on-key ripped through a stirring rendition of a song she had never heard before. It was in English, which was fine by Asuka and on-the-fence for Shinji, but they certainly put all they had into it. They no longer displayed the hesitations, small or large, that they had when they first entered the room. They were engrossed, enthusiastic. Electric.
Rei decided she liked karaoke. She liked it very much.
"Hold on to that feeeeeelaayayaaan!" Asuka fell to her knees, gripping the microphone and reaching for the heavens with all the epic thrill she could muster. Shinji was gripping his mic with both hands, leaning back and singing upward. The sight made Rei smile without prompting, and put down the soda, swaying slightly to the song. It then occurred to Rei that her knees were bouncing in an impatient and steady rhythm not in sync with her swaying or the music. Further, her heart seemed to be racing at an alarming rate. She tried to ignore it, but having thought about it, she could focus on nothing else, which made her heart race even faster.
As the music died away, Shinji stepped away from the stage as Asuka screamed in English, "Thank you, New York!"
"Your turn, Rei," he said, breathless.
"I would like to sing, but I think that something is wrong, because my heart is beating at an irregular rate." Shinji blinked. Rei closed her mouth and stared at the far wall. The words had come out in a single, uninterrupted rush.
"Oh, my God, how many sodas have you had?" Asuka asked, standing up. Rei opened her mouth, and then closed it. Alarmed, she realized she had no idea. She was always precise with her intake. How many pills she had to take as part of her daily medication regimen. How many calories she needed for the day, the week, the month. How much protein she had to consume to compensate for her meat-free diet.
She did not know how many sodas she had drunk. She blinked helplessly, trying to count the empty glasses, but she didn't remember which were hers, which were Asuka's, which were Shinji's….
"You're probably having a caffeine rush. Haven't you ever had a soda before?" Asuka asked.
"No, this is the first time I've ever consumed caffeine, but I enjoyed sodas and think I would like to consume more, and I don't think there'll be a problem with me finishing this one, because I've already had half of it, and if I finish it now then the amount—" She snapped her mouth shut, and coughed.
"I think you've had enough," Shinji mused, picking up the glass.
"Yeah," Asuka said, squinting.
Rei considered that they could be right, and realized she was now actively bouncing her feet off the floor, drumming her fists lightly on her knees. "I like sodas," she mumbled. That seemed the most appropriate thing to say at the moment, which was odd, because Rei knew it was not what she would say. In fact, she wouldn't have said anything. She found the urge to talk most irresistible, and found fighting against the urge difficult.
"There aren't animal products in sodas, are there?" she asked, and before either of the other two Children could answer, she plowed on. "I didn't even think to check, but the glass was right there, and I was feeling experimental, and they are so sweet! Not sweet like a milkshake, and you haven't made milkshakes in a while, Shinji, and I think that that is something you should do more often, because you make very good milkshakes, but they aren't as sweet as sodas, so I wonder if it's possible to combine a milkshake and a soda together for the optimal balance of sweetness in both beverages, what do you think, Asuka?"
Asuka stood still for a moment, trying to dissect the words. "Um…well—"
"You're always angry about things, which I don't understand, because you seem to be enjoying yourself very much now, and if the natural state of humanity is to be drawn to that which gives it pleasure, why would you resist against feeling happy? I mean, I'm just learning about why people like these things, and I'm starting to wonder why I never cared in the first place, because sodas and milkshakes and raspberry perfume are all excellent examples of why humanity is doing just fine, and it makes me feel validated that I'm doing something different that is also right, because different is not always good but it is good if it's right, and this feels right, sitting here singing songs and drinking soda please put my soda down, Shinji." He had leaned over and picked up her half-empty cup.
"I was, I mean, it was, you shouldn't—" Shinji stammered for a moment before Rei bounced up and snatched the cup from him. She began pacing the room, feeling the urge to walk.
"You used to mope a lot, Shinji, and you still mope, just not as much, and I think that Samson had something to do with that, and I will be very honest with you, I think that Samson is dangerous for you, but I think he is dangerous in general, but he's in a coma, so I don't have much more to say about him, but there's something about the way you are whenever you think about your father or yourself or things in general that makes you stop and become quiet and get that faraway look in your eyes, and I don't know what the feeling is that I get when I see it, because I don't understand feelings in general, but I think I feel sad, and I don't know why I should feel sad seeing you like that, honestly, except that it is very important to me that you don't be like that, because you are something important and I don't know how that happened or when but it did and this is something we should probably analyze together, but don't let Dr. Akagi know because she might see it as a deviation in normal protocols and therefore a threat to standard operating procedure and seek to rectify it and I…will…not…be…rectified!"
Her droning voice had begun to rise in intensity and pitch, until she had finished by screaming each word. Punctuated, precise, and final. She capped it off by flinging her cup at the screen on the far wall, splattering watery soda and ice over the monitor. She stood trembling for a moment, as Asuka and Shinji stayed very, very still. The trembling subsided. Rei turned around.
"I have to urinate." She marched out of the room, her face bland and tone as calm as if the episode had not happened. For a few minutes, silence lingered in the room.
"How many sodas did she drink?" Asuka mumbled.
"I think seven…or ten?" Shinji mumbled, glancing over the glasses. He knew that he had drunk two and quarter, and Asuka had consumed at least three in total. Rei had not really taken to enjoying her sodas until…the eighth one? She had drunk each one quickly and rapidly as they were placed in front of her, overcome by the sweetness.
"Um…that was…very…uh…." Asuka searched for a word, and then shrugged. "Odd" seemed too weak a word to describe it.
"Did she seem angry to you?" Shinji asked. Asuka gave him a bemused look. "Okay, wrong question: why was Rei angry? I thought today was a good day. Except for…well, she didn't seem to notice you or me when we…you know."
"I know what?" Asuka snapped. Shinji deflated, his expression pained. Asuka sighed, deciding not to pick a fight on it. "True. She seemed…chipper. Before." She shrugged. "I wonder what set her off."
"Maybe you should ask," Shinji suggested.
"Hey, she's your little…Wonder…buddy…girl…uh…." She sputtered, blinking. She had no clue how to describe what Shinji and Rei were. They weren't friends, but they were too close to be acquaintances, not dating, but definitely fixated on each other…but not in a way that made her jealous. As much. Siblings? No, that was too familiar. "She's your problem," she settled on, and crossed her arms.
"She talks to me more than she talks to you, but maybe she'll tell you things she doesn't tell me. Like…lady things."
"…Lady things?"
"Yeah, why not?" Shinji spread his hands defensively. "Besides, you don't ever talk to her. We need to be a good team, right? So doesn't that mean you and her need to build up some trust or something?"
"I just figured we'd keep relying on you to be the go-between until you snapped under the pressure."
"…I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or serious, and that kind of scares me."
"Look, you know her better than I do. You need to figure out what made her pissy. Maybe it's PMS. I dunno."
"Asuka, come on! I talk to her about a lot of things, but sometimes I think maybe it would be helpful if there were other people for her to talk to! Like you!" He crossed his arms in a huff. "You don't still hate her, do you?"
"I never hated her," Asuka said dismissively.
"That's a lie." Asuka scoffed, glaring at Shinji. "Well, it is! I think the only reason you don't hate her is because Samson is here." He glared at her, settling in and refusing to budge.
"…Fine. I'll talk to her. I'll talk to her and find out everything that's wrong and fix it, because if I don't, nothing will get done around here!" She threw the microphone she still had at Shinji's head, and he broke his pose long enough to duck and turn in surprise, watching the mic bounce off the abused screen. He turned back to her, a little alarmed at the attack but still firm in his resolve. "In fact, I'm gonna go talk to her now!"
"She's in the restroom!" Shinji protested, not wanting to bother the girl while she was attending to nature.
"No time like the present!" Asuka snapped. "I have to fix it, right!? So I'm going to fix it!" She stormed out of the room and down the hallway. She passed the same staff member who had been serving them all day, and incidentally was the one who received the ire of both Shinji and Asuka during their argument.
"Excuse me, but are you throwing things in the—"
"I'll throw you, if you don't back up, Eraser-lips," Asuka snapped, bowling by the taller man and making him back up against the wall. He stayed glued to the spot until she left, afraid that any movement might encourage her to look his direction again.
She stomped into the lady's room, and glanced around. There were five stalls, and the doors were closed. "Rei, are you in here!?" Asuka snapped.
"…Yes," Rei's voice called from one of the stalls.
"All right, don't get up," Asuka said, marching in and hopping up onto the counter-top, finding a seat between two of the sinks.
"I didn't intend to," Rei said, sounding sluggish. It seemed the inevitable energy crash was catching up to her.
"Good, because we need to talk," Asuka said. "Why are you angry?"
"I am not angry."
"You were angry about something, in there. So let's talk it out, okay? Woman to woman. You and me. No guys at all." Asuka crossed her arms, adopting her best "Solving Problems" pose. She snuffled, and waited for a reply.
"…Should…Should I leave?" a third voice called meekly, from one of the other stalls. Asuka opened her eyes in surprise, and glanced at the stall.
"Who are you?"
"Uh…I…."
"Never mind, I don't care. Go away."
"…I can't really, at the moment."
"Then stay quiet. This is a private conversation." She glanced back at Rei's stall. "Well, Rei?"
"I am not angry."
"Would you even know what it feels like to get angry? Miffed? Irritated? Aggravated?"
"Yes." There was heat behind the word, and Asuka found herself smiling. Something about getting under Rei's skin seemed to gratify her…just a bit.
"Then what was all that? In the karaoke room? You were upset about…something."
"…Why are you asking me this?"
"Shinji wanted me to."
"But you yourself don't care. So I find this conversation pointless."
"…She has a point, you have to care if you want to be trusted," the third voice said.
"I…shut up, private conversation!" Asuka snapped. She shifted. "Look, I am trying to care. I won't lie, I think it would be better for Shinji to talk to you about this, but he thinks that…we…need to…I don't know, bond or something over this." She grumbled. "Just tell me what your problem is so I can solve it."
"You are not very good at this," the third voice grumbled.
"SHUT UP PRIVATE CONVERSATION!"
There was a flush from Rei's stall, and after a few seconds the stall door opened. The girl crossed to the sinks slowly and washed her hands. Asuka studied her, waiting for an answer. Rei ignored her, washing her hands rhythmically. She turned off the water, and let her fingers drip into the sink.
"…I have changed." She fixed Asuka with a gaze that made the other girl shrink a bit. There was a strange intensity behind her eyes. "I am changing. I need to change. I need to change, and I can't stop. I won't be who I am when I'm done, but I will be who I should be...right? Will I still be me?" The bland expression broke for a moment, and the gaze became pleading. "Will they let me change?" Something about the question seemed to fill the air with a static buzz, and intense crackling as Asuka zeroed in on the implications of what Rei was asking. They….
"…Who's they?" she asked.
One of the other stalls opened, and a stylishly dressed young woman stepped out, smoothing her shirt. "Look, this is a normal thing for a teenage girl to go through," she said. "We're all going through these hormonal changes and trying to figure out who were are and—"
"Shut up, shut up, get out, the bathroom is closed!" Asuka snapped, scrambling off the counter and rushing towards the woman. The outsider squeaked as the shorter girl grabbed her and bullied her towards the door.
"I didn't wash my hands!" she protested.
"Germs make you stronger!" Asuka announced, pushing the woman through the door and slamming it shut. She sighed, turned, straightened, and collected herself. She opened her eyes, and studied Rei. The girl was still slouched over the sink.
Something about what Rei had said reminded Asuka of something…still in her brain. Something she had pushed out of her mind. She marched over to Rei, and raised a hand. It twitched forward, then back, as Asuka fought against two instincts in her throat. She steeled herself, settled her hand on Rei's shoulder, and leaned close to her. Close enough to whisper in her ear.
"Rei," she hissed. "What is the Lance?"
The other girl glanced up. Asuka was staring at her in the mirror. The look was intent. Rei's expression became serious. "That is classified information. You are not qualified to know," she said.
"Why? What kind of weapon is it?" Asuka asked.
"…This conversation is over," Rei mumbled, attempting to step away. Asuka dug her fingers into Rei's shoulder.
"Are you not telling me because they said it has to be a secret? Because they think you should keep it to yourself?" Rei's eyes widened in surprise for a moment. Then they went flat, and she moved. Asuka was not entirely sure what happened, because the movement was so casual, but she found herself face down on the counter. Her hand was no longer on Rei's shoulder, but practically planted against the back of her own head. She gasped at the pain, but instinctively relaxed into it. Asuka gritted her teeth, and was surprised…and a little frightened…when she realized how strong Rei was. It was easy to dismiss her as weak or sickly, but…she was very strong.
Slowly, the vice-like grip relaxed, and the pressure eased. And then it was gone. Asuka stood up, gasping at the tension in her shoulder. She turned and stared at Rei. The girl stood motionless, calm and quiet.
For a moment, neither of them said anything. There was no tension, simply…silence. And then…Asuka charged.
It was a purely instinctive, rage driven response. She had been attacked. Bested. Made to feel small and weak, and everything in her demanded it be addressed. The fear and surprise she felt gave way to that sudden desire to attack, and as soon as it had come it had passed. Asuka had the conscious thought, just a moment before she collided into Rei, that she did not want to do this, that it was stupid and meaningless. Her body was already on its way, though, and pushing through its motions. She slammed into Rei, picking her up and driving her into the far wall with a roar.
Rei did not respond, even as the air was driven out of her chest at the impact. She didn't really have the desire to respond, and for the most part did not. That old part of her brain, of who she was, would have all but forced her to lie down and die unless told otherwise. She would have taken the beating, indifferent, and forgotten about it as soon as it was done.
Two factors worked against that, however. The first was that she was not who she used to be, and had already come to decisions and ideas about herself that had allowed her to be more…free about her moods, her desires, and who she was.
The second was that coming down from a caffeine high, and actually having a caffeine crash, were two completely different things, and one lent itself to sudden bursts of adrenaline much more rapidly than the other.
Asuka realized this when she felt her feet leave the bathroom floor as Rei wrapped her arms around the girl's waist and picked her up, with the intent to drop Asuka on her head. Asuka screamed, shifting her weight and squirming. It did the trick, and both of them tipped and fell in a jumble of tangled limbs. At that point, any reservations either of them had were gone. The fight was on. The desire to fight was there. It wasn't that either of them had any specific desire to fight the other…but they needed to fight. To rage. To destroy something. Anything. And it just so happened that they were convenient.
Shinji was in the middle of ABBA's "Waterloo" when the door opened. He froze, wondering how quickly he would have to move to turn off the music, but found himself transfixed at the sight of the girls. Their clothes were torn, wrinkled, and bloody. Both had bruises, and even some cuts. Their hair was disheveled, and showed signs of being yanked and torn at.
They both looked like they had just come back from fighting wolverines.
"…What happened?" Shinji asked, nervously.
"Girl talk. Nothing big," Asuka said breezily, catching the music. "Oh, I love this song."
"I think I've had enough karaoke today," Rei said thoughtfully, with just a hint of a sleepy tone in her voice. "If it's all right, can we go back to Misato's apartment?"
"Is this…how girl talk normally ends?" Shinji asked. Asuka glared at him.
"Only the good ones. What do you care?" Shinji was scratching at his upper lip. "What are you doing?" She felt something dribble onto her upper lip. "Oh, am I bleeding again? I thought it stopped," she mumbled, grabbing some napkins from the table and wedging them up her nose.
"Should I…do…something?" Shinji mumbled as Rei collected her bags.
"Could you settle our bill, please?" Rei asked. "I've already charged a lot to my NERV account."
"Uh…yeah…yeah! Sure! I'll do that," Shinji mumbled, scrambling by the girls. Asuka collected her purse.
"Do you need a hand with the bags?" she asked, as Rei tried to get them all.
"I can get them, but thank you."
"Don't be stubborn," Asuka sniffed. "That's dumb. I'm offering to help, you should take it." She grabbed a few of the bags, and stood up. Rei studied her for a moment. Asuka glanced up, waiting for the other girl to say something. Rei's left eye was bruised, and gave her the impression of squinting. "What?"
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it," Asuka grunted. "Come on. Let's go catch up to Shinji before he wanders off and gets run over or something."
"He's capable of taking care of himself," Rei protested.
"Please," Asuka sniffed, leading them out of the room. "You never want to let him think that. It'll give him a big head about things, and the next thing you know, he'll be an insufferable, egotistical jerk and we won't know what to do with him. We already have one with Samson, we don't need another prima donna."
"There's something about this conversation that seems…ironic," Rei murmured, confused.
"Don't get clever, Wondergirl," Asuka grumbled. They caught up to Shinji as he finished paying for the room and the damages to said room. "Shinji, stop being a jerk and get some of Rei's bags," Asuka snapped. Shinji stuffed his wallet and the receipt into his pocket as he accepted some of the bags.
"We can't come back here anymore, apparently," he said, as Rei led the three out.
"Who cares? There are better karaoke clubs," Asuka said bluntly.
"We should go again," Rei said. "I liked today." Something about being in the mall seemed to perk her up, and she began to walk briskly towards the front of the mall. Shinji and Asuka trailed behind her. "Hey, Asuka," Shinji asked, taking opportunity of the moment, "What…exactly happened in the bathroom?"
"We talked," Asuka said, shrugging. Shinji jabbered quietly for a moment, forming sounds but no words before helplessly falling silent. "Look, Shinji, sometimes girls have to talk about things that they don't normally discuss with guys. It's part of our mystery, okay? Don't be so nosey." She sniffed, whipping her mussed hair as she cocked her head up, and marched forward with purpose and poise. Shinji fell back, watching her hurry to catch up to Rei.
He didn't know what it was, exactly, but Shinji felt Asuka seemed to be a bit more herself than she was in the past month. And it felt right.
