Thank you to all my loyal readers, I'm very glad that people are enjoying this little bit of insanity.
I cannot tell you how glad I am that I didn't have to attempt to write this after the airlines screwed me over on a connecting flight... okay, how glad the CHARACTERS are that I didn't...
bit . ly / pLdXdB is the primary list that I'm picking from, feel free to e-mail with suggestions for more.
Harry and Hermione sighed heavily as they looked about the halls in desperation as their brains continued to digest the returned memories that they had just suffered through once again. "Are you sure this is Hogwarts, Harry? It's... quiet... too quiet..." Hermione whispered as they began making their way towards the Great Hall, having found a clock that told them it was noon.
"MARRY ME, PROFESSOR SNAPE!" Draco shouted as he chased the greasy black-haired professor past the two rather stunned returned students, who simply looked at each other and sighed heavily. There was no doubt about it now, they were at Hogwarts.
"Welcome to Hogwarts... please leave your common sense at the door..." Hermione commented dryly as Harry took off his glasses and started cleaning them.
"Sanity as well, my dear Hermione, but that's elementary to the problem here," Harry commented as he casually slipped his glasses back on. "Let us rejoin the meal, once more into the breach my friend..."
"You definitely learned a lot off watching Giles... Does that mean we can fill it up with the Wizarding dead?" Hermione quipped as she caught the literary reference.
"One can only hope," Harry answered before peeking in through the door. "Ah good, it's one of the days we were taking a mental health day up in the giggle rooms..." Harry offered before slipping the two of them into the Great Hall, getting nary a whisper of notice out of the feasting students. Or Ron, who was equalling any three other students.
They had nearly gotten away with it when a sharp voice spoke up from behind them. "Mr. Potter, Ms. Granger, I trust there is a reasonable explanation for showing up to lunch so late," Professor McGonagall stated in a tone that there had better be a good one or she was going to assign them detentions until their great grand-children graduated.
"Err... we were up in the... private quarters when we suddenly felt a lot better and thought to come down for a bite, Professor," Harry lied, not daring to turn around for fear of having to attempt it while looking at the stern woman's face.
"That's right," Hermione agreed hastily as she tried to divine what class they had missed that morning. "We were going to get a quick bite to eat and then see about making up our missed class..."
"Very well, see me after you have both eaten no less than two plates of food," McGonagall ordered with an imperious frown. "You're looking far too thin, the both of you might have to spend time with Madam Pomfrey if you don't start eating better."
"Do we mention that Ron's onto his 12th plate?" Hermione whispered to Harry once the matron of Transfiguration had left.
"No, let's just sit as far from him as possible and actually get some food into our systems..." Harry answered while guiding her towards two empty seats, which sadly were opposite the twins, but there was no other safe places to eat.
"Okay, you two, who are you and what did you do to Harry and Hermione? You actually let Ron just consume the table and didn't even go near him," Harry and Hermione heard the two boys say, not quite sure who said it.
"Why don't you put us to the test... perhaps a little Mooney-light will shine through the sunlight today," Harry asked casually while looking at an ordinary-looking piece of parchment.
"We don't need to do that check," the demon duo answered simply, "Anyway, strangely seriously, for us, why are you coming to us with what is clearly a offer of friendship?"
"Ah dear Forge, clever Gred, you have sussed us out," Hermione chided as she filled up a plate for herself, adding a bit extra when she noticed the stern look on their Head of House's face. "We just have a bit of... mischief to manage..."
She then slid the book she'd got off Sivil across the table. "Tell this book 'Draco Malfoy' and tell me what you read."
The twin on the outside took up the challenge, and after a moment snapped the book shut and all but threw it back at Hermione. "My eyes! I need to clean them! Quick oh brother of mine, burn them with healing fire so that the image might not remain!"
"This book can read someone's surface thoughts perfectly," Hermione explained casually as she buttered a roll, ignoring all the looks the twin's antics were drawing, "That's how we knew you two are honest."
"Well honest as any two tricksters who wish to be the next marauders might be," Harry countered while polishing his glasses once again. The fact that he knew at least partially what Draco was thinking without the book was rather disturbing in its own right. But it was a good prank before they got down to the real meat of the project.
"We've been through the wringer for longer than we care to remember," Hermione continued casually as she looked over the bean speared on her fork. "We're taking the offensive this time. We have all the information on who's thinking what about us, and you have the tools to be able to scupper them."
"And if you don't, I know how to procure some," Harry offered with a dark look as a gleam hid his eyes and his folded hands masked his mouth.
"Okay, we need about 5 square feet of dragon hide, and Hermione to note down her measurements in some way that we can't read them," Fred offered while holding his brother's hands at his side.
"Also we need to know how you managed that trick with causing the temperature to drop five degrees as you said that," George added, having regained some of his composure.
"Would basilisk skin do? I could get you more than that in basilisk skin today," Harry bartered while his fingers shifted so only the pads on each corresponding pair were touching. "If not... perhaps you could sell the basilisk skin and buy dragon hide."
"We'll see, but if you have a supply that large, I suspect you have more than just the skin," the twins suspected, "40/60, you get the larger share."
"Marauders Incorporated would like to employ you both at a standard... ten galleons a week?" Hermione offered with the devil's own smirk as she pulled out a contract. "Just sign on the lines where indicated..."
"You spent far too much time with Ayanami-san..." Harry suggested casually as they waited for the twins to read through the contracts, though the name sounded more like a curse than a proper name.
"No more so than you did with David Xanatos," Hermione shot back with a cross look of her own. Apparently their meetings with various personages throughout history had left more than one bitter taste in their mouths.
"Hey at least he let you into his library! We had to shoot Gendo to get into his," Harry countered with a blow to Hermione's weak spot.
"Rei told me to use one clip every time I needed to go in," Hermione offered as casually as one might mention the weather.
"He was dead after the first time... the twentieth time I'm pretty sure was just Rei being vicious and petty," Harry offered while taking the contract back from the twins that were staring at them in gaping confusion.
"Shinji told me to keep doing it, Rei told me to keep doing it, Dr. Akagi told me to keep doing it... Hell, Adam and Lilith told me to empty a clip into his body as well!" Hermione snapped, "How can it be vicious and petty if all his workmates said to do it?"
"Fair enough... though I'm very proud that you didn't listen to what Asuka suggested doing," Harry conceded, more to move along than in any actual form of defeat. "Also... did you remember the gift for Luna from Makoto Konno-san? She did help pull her out of that horrible time loop..."
"She also told us to expect at least twelve more loops, and Mr. Beckett agreed about that," Hermione said, patting a parcel she got out of her book bag, "Did you remember that item Mr. Stark had made especially for you 'just in case'?"
Harry simply lifted up his arm to reveal a rather odd looking watchband. "Never leave the dorms without it."
"Good good." Hermione said, lifting up her own arm to show a similar watchband, "Pepper gave me mine shortly before we left that era of history."
"We have got to get the full story," one of the twins said in a nearly breathless whisper as his double mutely nodded.
"Ahem, students, I wish to announce a last minute new student, A Sivil Nekki, who will be joining the Gryffindors after lunch," Dumbledore announced proudly from the front of the room. Sivil stood from the seat next to the twins and waved to the Hall quietly as thunderous applause shook the hall. After regaining her seat, she smiled as once again she seemed to be out of the spotlight.
She merely nodded to Harry and Hermione as they greeted casually before she turned to the twins and answered with a smile full of pointed fangs. "It will be revealed... in time."
