Chapter 53: Fate
KPOV
~The day of Rick's shooting~
In my room, I was crying my soul out and I could hardly breathe. My eyes were sore, but my heart ached. All day, I had kept a brave and strong attitude, but I felt terrible. I couldn't bare the pain in my heart. "Kat?" I heard a faint voice ask with a knock on the door. Without a response to the one knocking, she entered the room and saw me crying. "What's wrong?" she asked me, her kind, loving eyes stared at me with furrowed eyebrows.
She moved quickly to me, shutting the door behind me and I knew that she was concerned about me. She had to be, she was my mother. Tears flowed out of my eyes, without my permission and betraying my act. "Dad...he could be dying and we're here making meals, pretending like it's all right," I said, worried for what could be happening whilst they were operating on him. "I'm scared."
"Oh, baby," mom said as she wandered over to me and placed her arms around me, sat beside me on my bed, she cuddled me close and placed a kiss to my temple. "Don't say that," she encouraged. "Please," she begged as she held me tightly.
"But, why is this so hard?" I sobbed, my cries raked down my spine and made my whole body shook from my tears.
Mom gave me a sympathetic look, but she stayed strong and took hold of my shoulders, pulling away from me to stare into my eyes. "Being strong is hard," she stated. "But you need to be, not only for me, your father or your brother," she listed those I had to be strong for. "You need to do it for yourself, always," she told me sternly.
Placing her hand over my heart, she stared directly into my eyes. "You feel that pain?" she asked me. "Hold onto it, it makes you alive," she ordered. "But don't let it cloud your sight and judgement," mom advised me. "It will crumble you," she warned. "Keep a level head and you keep strong, no matter what happens," mom kept giving me good advice. "How would your father feel if he saw how hopeless you are right now?" she questioned, her eyes serious and tone even more serious. "Don't ever lose that hope, baby," she said with a shake of her head.
Fumbling for words, I sniffled and blinked away tears. "I- What do I do?" I pleaded for further advice.
Feeling lost, scared and weak, I didn't know what I was meant to do and how to do as my mom said. "You're going to cry in my arms, when you're done, you wipe those tears, put on a brave face and stand tall," she began to instruct me. "You're going to walk out of this room and be strong, not only for youself, but for your father and brother," she told me who I had to be strong for. "They need your strength, but you need to stay hopeful, because if you lose it...it will kill you," she stated, her eyes staring into my soul and her voice rang in my ears, sinking into my brain.
Pulling me into a hug again, she rest her chin against the top of my forehead and comforted me the best she could. Giving me that loving comfort I was in need of, crying my eyes out in her arms and clutching her to me. "I love you," she whispered as she kissed the top of my head.
"I love you too, mom," I replied in an equally quiet whisper. Holding her close, I didn't want to let go. But, when I was done with the waterfall of tears, I got up and returned to the table. Back to a normal life, doing as mom said and being hopeful for Carl and stayed positive, in the hope that my father would survive the surgery. He has to. We need him, just as much as he needs each of us.
Present day...RPOV
These past few days, all we did was clear out towns, homes and any building that we walked past. Maggie didn't stop crying while both Kat and Daryl had changed in some way. Daryl seemed like he was cold and distant. While Kat was battle hardened, numb and unreachable. One night, I was on look-out and stayed quiet. Noah had joined me, whilst the others tried to get some sleep. "She was gonna come with me," he told me.
Silence was in the air, other than the night creatures and the crackle of the fire as the log burned inside the heat. Engulfed by flames and spitting flecks of burning orange to lick the sky. "How far?" I asked Noah curiously.
"Outside Richmond, Virginia," he answered. We then started talking about what was there, about what could be there for us and I knew I needed to find somewhere safe. Somewhere Judith could be safe, where Carl could be safe and where Kat could live a happier life.
The next morning, I gathered up everyone, knowing that we would need vehicles to drive to wherever we were to go together. Which, was hopefully going to be where Noah wanted to go. "It was secure. It has a wall, homes, 20 people," I informed them the basics, of what I knew about the safety and people there. "Beth wanted to go with him. She wanted to get him there," I tried to encourage everyone that it was for Beth, just as much as it was for us. "It's a long trip, but if it works out, it's the last long trip we have to make," I tried to convince them that this was all for a good cause.
Kat moved her head, looking up at me with her arms crossed and her eyes cold as ice. Carl was holding Judith closely, but I was focused on how he too stared at Kat a little worried. Since Beth's death, she hardly spoke. She hardly even moved. She stayed silent, cold and distant. She didn't want to be around Judith or any of us anymore. "And what if it isn't around anymore?" Kat asked me in a deadpan voice.
It was as though she no longer had hope for us. For the living. "Then we keep going," I answered her question, knowing that we could no longer stay in one spot, but we would need to keep moving if there was no shelter. No safety.
Michonne had caught Kat's coolness, most likely worried for her friend too, as Kat was the closest thing she had to a sister since they had met. The pair of them were always as thick as thieves together, but lately, she didn't want to do or say anything with any of us. Not Carl, not me, not Michonne, not Judith and especially not Daryl. "Then we find a new place," Michonne was determined to find us somewhere safe, somewhere we could all settle down in and live.
MPOV
Tyreese was driving, Noah was sat shotgun, I sat beside Rick and Kat was sat with Glenn at the back. What was worrying, was how everyone was stone cold, distant towards one another rather than pulling together to get through the bad that came out of what happened recently. "How far out?" Rick asked Noah, breaking the silence.
"Five miles," Noah answered.
Staring out the window, trees blurred by and I was curious as to how Kat was. To how everyone was, as to what they were thinking and how high their hopes were. Something told me that Maggie, Daryl, Glenn and Kat were the ones who were most destroyed after everything that had happened recently. "Hey, Carol," Rick spoke into the radio.
"I'm here," her voice crackled from the other end.
Keeping my gaze on the window, I knew that things had been difficult over the past few days, over the past few weeks and especially with all the death that had been happening over the short span of a few weeks. Hershel, Bob and Beth. We were all losing it. "We're halfway there. Just wanted to check the range," Rick excused himself for speaking to her, giving her the reasons as to why he was checking in.
Since their trip to Atlanta, something shifted between Rick and Carol. I wasn't sure what, but I knew that whatever it was, made them come closer. Carol was like the aunt of the Grimes family, while I was more of the crazy cousin or sister. Depending on how they thought of me, but I worried where I stood now with Kat and sometimes, with Rick. "Everybody's holding tight. We've made it 500 miles. Maybe this can be the easy part," Carol spoke in an alert tone.
Whatever happened between them, was something that kept me wondering of what was the reason they had been apart and why they were suddenly so close. Kat appretiated everyone, but these days, I wasn't sure what was going on. Not when she'd stare at me with a blank look on her face. "Got to think we're due. Give us 20 minutes to check in," Rick encouraged Carol to stay alert, in case if anything would go south.
Carol was prepared, for anything and we all knew it. The woman was as tough as nails, just like the rest of us could be. But, staying out here was a death wish. We needed safety and we needed hope for a better, brighter future. Where we could be safe and not have to worry about shelter. Sanctuary. "We don't hear from you, we'll come looking," Carol assured Rick that she was prepared.
Static invaded the air, making my ears prickle at the sound of the crackling sound. Rick formed a small smirk as he thought of Carol's words and how she was no longer going to try to run away from us. "Copy that," he responded and that was the end of the conversation.
KPOV
Sat beside Glenn, I felt colder than I ever was before. I was tired. Tired of the death, of having hope that the world would change, that we'd have a chance of survival. All I knew, was everything I believed in were false, smoke and child-like fantasy. "I've been wanting to tell you something," Noah said as he looked to Tyreese.
"What's that?" Tyreese asked him calmly.
After Beth's death, Daryl hardly looked at me, hardly even spoke. I felt numb from my head to my toes. I forgot when was the last time I felt hopeful, when I had last felt like we were all going to be all right. Staring out the window, I watched as the trees would blur in colors of green and brown. No shape was revealed, as I couldn't catch anything. All I could do, was stare at nothing. "The trade. It was the right play. It worked. It did work. Just something else happened after," Noah said in a sad tone.
Listening, I kept quiet and kept my expression as blank as I had felt inside. There was no more pain, it was as though I had forgotten what it felt like to feel alive. All I felt, was nothing. "It went the way it had to. The way it was always going to," Tyreese said, which made me further confused as I had been before. Is he saying that this was all fate? That Beth's death was fate?
Never having thought of that, I wasn't fully sure if that was what I felt was true. I wasn't sure what to think anymore, as whenever I believed in something, it always turned out to be false truth. "I never wanted to kill anybody before," Noah revealed to us his darker thoughts.
Remembering the time I had felt anger towards the Governor because of what he did to Andrea, to Hershel. Yet, I didn't kill him. Murder seemed to be the norm now. As it was the only way people could survive anymore. "I've wanted that. But it just made it so I didn't see anything except what I wanted. I wasn't facing it," Tyreese began to speak wisely.
"Facing what?" Noah asked what all of us were thinking. Curiousity was getting to the rest of us, making us look to the pair and stay silent. Our eyebrows furrowed, but Glenn kept his eyes glued to the CD he was holding in his hands, his eyes glued to his own reflection.
Staying quiet, I knew that listening was better than not speaking. "What happened, what's going on," he began, as though it was an answer to Noah's question. Tyreese then began to speak about what happened to him, how his father kept the radio on and never turned it off. How they'd listen to the news to become harder people, to face the evil this world could throw at them. To remind them that life was precious, that to survive, ugly shit had to happen. It was the cost of living, his father had said. What a wise man.
Noah seemed touched by what Tyreese was saying, chuckling softly at the sound of what his father would do to both him and Sasha. "I lost my dad in Atlanta. I think he would have liked yours," Noah spoke of his father with a sad smile. "Still got a mom and a couple of twin brothers. I hope," he said, which made me look back outside the window.
"I hope so, too," Tyreese agreed softly, making me clench my jaw at the sound of that word. Hoping and praying isn't going to do shit. We all know that now. At least, I finally realized that it was all stupid fantasy. Words with no meaning anymore. Suddenly, Glenn snapped the CD in his fingers and watched as it crumbled. I knew he was feeling the grief of losing his sister-in-law. These times were tough, for all of us and I didn't blame him for the pain he felt.
RPOV
Listening to their conversation, I admired how through tough times, Tyreese's father tried to keep his kids strong. With Kat and Carl, I always tried to teach them that life was for the living, that we had to keep living and enjoy every moment life would give us. Whenever it was a tough time, we had to keep hope alive, because without it they would have crumbled. I wonder if Kat still has hope... "Two more miles," Noah said, pulling me out of my thoughts.
Nodding, I listened and I had to remind myself that this world was different compared to the past. Yet, I still believed that hope had to fuel our desire to live. Hope that there would be a better future for all of us. "All right," I mumbled quietly with a nod. Leaning in, I tapped Tyreese on the shoulder. "Let's pull into the woods. We'll go on foot. Stay off the road," I instructed him and the others.
"We don't need to," Noah argued, confused as to why we were taking the precaution. Anything can happen after a short time away from the family. I know that better than anyone.
Side glancing at him, I knew he was only confused as to why I was being so cold and why I was ordering people around. But, I needed to keep everyone safe, and that included him. "Just in case," I told Noah. Parking, we all climbed out of the car and got to our feet. "This is good. Through the trees, it might just look like part of the wreck," I began to point things out. Suddenly, a thump and snarling began to sound from one of the abandoned cars we had parked beside. There was a walker woman trapped inside, clawing at the window and dying to eat some of our flesh.
No one moved to kill it, knowing there was no harm in her being in there and no need to kill her. She wasn't a threat to any of us. Awkwardly, Noah stared at the walker a little surprised and began pointing behind him using his thumb. "It's this way," he indicated which direction we had to go.
MPOV
Following after Noah, we were wandering through the woods and eventually came across what looked like a telephone wire wrapped around trees. Preventing walkers from passing through the trees and possibly attacking the campsite where Noah's people could be safe. "Your people do this?" I asked him.
Turning my head, I noticed how Kat stayed close to Glenn and watched our backs. Staying quiet, we all kept our steps slow and steady. Looking at Noah, he gave me a small smirk and continued to limp his way towards me. "Wanted to. They must have," he answered me in pieces. Ducking under carefully, we all stepped our way through the wires. "Ah!" Noah yelped as he stumbled past the wire and accidentally cut his forehead.
Noah was gently touching his forehead, feeling the blood that escaped from his cut as he'd look down at it. "You all right?" Rick asked him curiously, worried for the boy who only nod and assured us he was fine. Rick had then took hold of Noah's shoulder, turning him to look at him and answer any question he was about to ask. "They have spotters? Snipers?" Rick asked as we'd come closer to the outside gate.
His eyes were glued to Rick, but it was as though he was unsure exactly how to answer this question. "We built a perch on a truck," he informed us of what they used as protection against anyone who would want to come in. "Sometimes it's out front," he shrugged.
"Not today," Glenn said as he craned his head to look towards the gate, which was left unguarded and made me wonder what was happening behind the metal gate. Is it safe there? Are we safe? Can we trust him? He seems nice and genuine, so he must be telling us the truth.
KPOV
Taking hold of my machete, I stayed close to Michonne as we wandered over to the gate. Noah then began to slam the gates, trying to enter and getting nothing from it. Something in me told me that this place was gone, I could feel it. Or something very wrong had happened to this place. Like another dictatorship. "You hear that?" Noah asked us, to which I had no idea what he had heard.
Glancing around, I was unsure what exactly Noah had heard. Others stayed silent and looked away, but I had no idea what to find on the other end of the gate. "Just wait," Glenn said as he told us to stay put and began to climb. Staring over the gate, Glenn's expression fell more than I could have believed possible. See? Everything I believe in is always false.
Turning his head to look at us, Glenn shook his head and gave Noah a sad, sorry look. Noah then began to pant, climb and grunted as he fell to the ground. Michonne let go of her hold on her katana handle, whilst I placed my machete back to where it was meant to be.
Climbing over after Glenn, I watched as Noah stared at the town he had hopes were still around. Still safe, and found himself more than disappointed. "Noah, hold up," dad called as Noah began to run recklessly. "Noah!" dad screamed as we all began running after the young boy.
Sobbing, Noah cupped his head, his teeth clenched and fell to the floor. Normally, in times like this, I would of felt sad for him. But, I was too cold to care. I knew that this life was worse, it kept showing me each and every time. Slaps to the face became punches now. I was completely beaten. "Come on. It's all right. You're gonna be with us now," Tyreese tried to sooth the kid.
Pulling out my bow and arrows, I raised my arms and aimed. "I'll get them," I said without a single moment left to lose. Shooting, I then began to wander over to the walker I had killed. Taking my arrow from it's head, I then wandered over to any other walkers that stayed around the area and made my way back to the others.
RPOV
Sighing as I watched my daughter wander off, she was acting cold and began to kill walkers without a single hesitation. I worried for her, but I worried for what we were all to do now. Michonne seemed irritated that this place had been something she wasn't expecting. Glenn seemed disappointed, but it was as though he had only hit a lower point than before. "I'm sorry, Noah. I truly am," I apologized to Noah as I got on one knee beside him. "We should see if there's anything we can use and head back," I said to the others as I got back to standing up straight.
The whole place was a wreck, there was no one alive. People had been slaughtered and walkers roamed around. Buildings were burned down, a wall had been broken down and there were bodies all over the ground. There was not a single, living soul in the place Noah had been staying. "Then what?" Michonne asked. "They see us."
I wasn't sure what to do, but I saw how Kat was making her way towards me. She hadn't bothered to clean her machete or her knife. She simply kept walking towards us and placed her weapons back into her holster. "We can make a quick sweep," Glenn suggested.
"I'll stay with him," Tyreese assured us he'd look out for Noah whilst we were away, in case he would do anything stupid or run off. The kid is with us now. He needs to get used to that. Hopefully, he's like us and stick with us. Hopefully, he survives.
Nodding, I walked away from the others and watched as Michonne, Kat and Glenn wandered towards any place they could find. Ready to find supplies and eventually, leave the place to keep surviving on the run. "Carol, you copy?" I called, to which she responded with 'we're here'. "We made it. It's gone," I informed her of the sad news I had to give her and the others.
KPOV
Staring around, I was silent and cold. Everything around us had turned into shit, the world simply kept giving us false hope and smashed our dreams. Yet, at this point, I no longer believed that the world was good or that anyone could survive in it anymore. Especially those who were good people, they had the least chance of surviving. "Clean shirt," Michonne said as she smashed the glass and pulled out a shirt that was placed inside of the picture frame.
Dad took a step towards Michonne, worried for how we all were. He'd try to make eye contact with me, but I simply would turn my back on him. Everything is a lie. This world is chaos. There is no hope. I'm starting to doubt if there ever was any hope in the first place. "We'll figure it out," dad said to Michonne, loudly as though he was trying to give us all a sense of faith.
"We will," Michonne agreed in a quiet and forced tone. Moving away with the shirt in her hand, I wasn't feeling good. I didn't want to do anything, except kill anything that came in my way. I've never thought like this before. But, I can't shake the thoughts from my head. "There's some garbage bags in the garage," Michonne mumbled as she wandered over to the garbage bags.
By pure chance, Michonne's spot of searching was exactly the same spot as I was searching for anything of use. Even though I was doing a terrible job, I simply couldn't process anything that was happening in that moment. "You didn't think it would still be here?" I heard dad ask someone, which was possibly Glenn, as it wasn't directed to myself or Michonne.
"Did you?" Glenn questioned back.
Sensing tension behind me, I saw how Michonne stiffened beside me and would glance at me. I knew the look in her eyes, she was analyzing how I was and if I was okay. She seemed hesitatnt, as though she was itching to ask me a question. "After it happened, right after with Beth in the hospital, I saw that woman Dawn. She didn't mean to do it. I knew it. I saw it," dad spoke about what happened to Beth.
Unsure if this was something Glenn wanted to hear, I kept my eyes glued to my hands rummaging through bag loads of junk. "But I wanted to kill her. I remember I just wondered if it even mattered one way or another. Didn't have a thing to do with Beth," dad said with what I imagined to be a shake of his head. "I don't know if I thought it would still be here. But Beth wanted to get him here. She wanted to get him back home. This was for her. And it could have been for us, too," dad continued, trying to let it sink into our heads as the four of us fell silent. Until, of course, Michonne broke it to ask me a question.
MPOV
After searching around for anything we could use, I was digging for anything and came across nothing. Noticing Kat's silence and cold look, I knew something was wrong but I had been watching her carefully. I felt her being numb, cold to the world and it made me worry for her. "Kat, you've gone silent and you're only silent when you're over thinking something, or something is wrong," I stated, knowing exactly what she was like. "So, are you going to tell me what's up?" I asked her.
Turning her head, she pulled herself out of her thoughts and was blankly staring at the garbage we were rummaging through. Her face hard and eyes cool as ice. "This is what life is now Michonne, there is no hope and no safety," she told me in a level voice. "We just have to keep surviving and try to live for the moment," she tried to convince me. "I'm tired of losing good people to the worst kinds of people and things," she sighed and looked away, her expression was as though she was lifeless.
Listening to both hers and Rick's conversation with Glenn, made me worry for our group. After all the death, destruction and hard times we had gone through. I knew it would take time to recover, but I feared everyone was becoming lost like I had been. Numb, cold and lifeless. Wandering the Earth as if life only consisted of surviving, and not living. We need safety, we need hope and we need to return to who we all were. Like how we were back at the prison. The people I know we all can be.
RPOV
After listening closely to Kat's conversation with Michonne, I looked over my shoulder and saw how Kat's back was facing me. Like it usually was these days. I fear for her. Something is really wrong with her. I've never seen her like this. "I was thinking about that guy in the storage container. Back at Terminus. How I made us stop," Glenn began as he stared at the gound, along with pulling me out of my thoughts and making me turn my head to look at him. "After the prison, on my trip, I got Maggie back. Things went okay," he began to tell me his tale, his progress.
Hearing what he was telling me, I couldn't help but feel sad for him. For I knew what it was like to lose people he cared about. We had all lost people. We all had lost Beth. "Losing Washington... losing-losing Beth right after just finding out she's alive..." he drifted as he crouched down and picked up a baseball bat that was on the ground.
Everything Glenn was saying, all the pain he felt and the disappointment this world was being to him. I knew exactly how it felt. I had gone through the same process when I thought I had lost Kat and when I had lost Lori. Along with the time I thought I had lost Judith and had in fact, lost both Shane and Hershel, who were people I had cared about and lost throughout the horrible affects of the world. "I hadn't caught up with you yet. If it were now, I wouldn't make us stop. We'd run right by. And I would have shot that woman dead. Right or wrong," he told me, explaining things that were left unsaid.
Instantly, I knew what he was saying. I knew that he was trying to indicate that he was no longer the same guy he used to be. The same guy who believed that life was precious, that we needed to save people and not kill them. That he wasn't that same guy anymore. "We need to stop. You can be out here too long," Michonne's voice trembled as she took hold of the bag and slowly walked closer. Her eyes darting between me, Glenn and Kat. Possibly shocked and saddened at the words that escaped our mouths.
MPOV
After saying what I wanted to say briefly, I walked off and listened as the others followed. We all went our seperate ways, searching houses and trying to find anything of use to us. Figuring out ways we could secure the place. "We could put some of the garage doors together against the break. Park a car against them until we can brick it back up," I suggested plans for the place. "It can work," I tried to convince the others as they all gave me looks of disbelief.
Kat was silent, but Glenn was listening to every word I said, but Kat, I could sense she was summarizing it all in her thought process. I knew this, because it was the same thing I would do whenever I had met new people. Before I had met Andrea, before I was in Woodbury with the pair of them. "This place is surrounded by a forest. There's no sight lines," Rick pointed out the problems with this place. "Whoever, whatever would be on top of us without us even knowing it," Rick tried to tell me how this wasn't safe for any of us.
Everyone seemed to be making any old excuse, just so that we didn't have to stay. It was safe enough. Safer than the prison by far. We can make this work. We have to! "That's probably what happened," Kat spoke negatively, already assuming what the possibilities were.
"That's what happened to us," Glenn agreed with both Kat and Rick in a gloomy attitude.
Tired of everyone being so negative, I wanted to give them hope again. To make them see that safety, security and a roof over our heads was what we needed to survive. That it was what kept us happy, safe and alive. "We could start taking down the trees. We use them to build the walls up," I spoke confidently, trying to sell my plan as well as possible. "Look," I gestured for them to follow me towards the broken down wall.
Wandering over to wall that was broken down, it was close to falling down, but the hardest part wasn't the wall. It was the people that had once lived there, they had been brutally murdered. Sliced up into half, some parts of their limbs were simply dropped to the side, but there were no torso or heads on the cut bodies. Shutting my eyes, it was like a nightmare I never wanted to see again. Turning my back, I knew that this place was more than gone. The wall was hanging by a thread. "This world is just a pile of shit. I see that now. And its going to take us all down with it," Kat mumbled what she was thinking, making me tense up and heart break a little more for her.
RPOV
Keeping silent watch on Kat, I worried for her mental and emotional health. Something in her had died, and from what I was guessing, it was her hope. Either in the world or in this life, her hope had disappeared. I wish I could help her, but how do I do it? "It doesn't matter," Glenn said once again, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"What?" I asked him, confused as to what he had meant about what he was saying.
Glenn looked me directly in the eyes, serious about what he was about to say to me. "You said you wondered if it even mattered if you killed her or not. It doesn't matter if you had done it or if I had, or that Daryl did," he began to explain what he was refering to. "It doesn't matter," he told me.
Michonne had her back to us, her eyes glued to wherever she was looking. Kat was wearing a blank expression, but she was watching both myself and Glenn intently. "Washington," Michonne said randomly as she turned to face us. "Eugene lied about a cure, but he thought of Washington for a reason," she went to tell us, but we were all confused about what she was trying to say.
"But he was lying," Glenn argued.
Michonne was tired of a negative answer, instead she continued to try and sell Washington to us. "About the cure, but he did the math and realized that Washington was the place where there'd be a chance," she explained why Eugene would choose Washington. "We're close," she stated. Sighing, Kat had joined me in the sigh and we all stared at Michonne silently. "What if there are people there? Huh? What if it's someplace that we can be safe?" she asked us, thowing us all of these questions in our faces.
Kat took a step closer, her eyes on Michonne and a look on her face that showed me she was simply going to deny Michonne anything. Hearing this, I knew that Kat would of naturally agreed and would of sided with Michonne, but she hadn't. "Michonne, we're 100 miles away," Kat argued, stating the facts.
Her bottom lip trembled, tears were brimming around her eyes and I knew that Michonne was close to her breaking point. "It's a possibility. It's a chance. Instead of just being out here. Instead of just making it. Because right now, this is what making it looks like," she cried. "It's harsh, it's cold and it's bloody," she said with venom. "It's changing us, making us turn into people I don't want us to be," she argued. "Do you guys all want to be like this? Hopeless? Depressed?" she questioned us.
We were all silent, listening to her words and taking in her grief. Her annoyance of the world, how no one cared to listen to her pleas. But, I listened and I took in her words. This time, we all did. "We're all tired of losing people we love, but we need to work together," she tried to convince us to pull together and not apart. "So, I'm going to ask you..." her voice trembled as she took a breath. "Don't you want one more day with a chance?" she challenged us seriously, taking her stand and giving us her view of things.
KPOV
Feeling an emptyness within me, I knew that this life was difficult and it was never going back to how it used to. There was no hope that we'd all survive this hell and I knew it. I made it heard, I didn't care what others thought anymore, I only cared for what was to come and who would be the next to die. "We should go," dad said as walkers appeared from behind the bushes. "It's 100 miles away," he spoke as his eyes shone bright and Michonne gave him a small look of annoyance. The moment dad said '100 miles', Michonne's expression lit up with hope, with joy. "We should go to Washington," he encouraged us to do as Michonne had said.
Glenn stared at dad, but when my dad's blue eyes flashed to look at mine, I wasn't sure how to respond. I didn't know how to feel, I didn't know what to do and I certainly didn't know how to express the thoughts and words that wanted to come out. "Rick! Help, Rick! Glenn! Kat! Michonne! Help!" we heard a voice screaming, which made us all become alert again.
Recognizing the voice, we all turned in the direction of the sound and began to sprint in its direction. Running as fast as we could, I pulled out my machete and sliced any walkers that got too close to us. Taking the lead beside Glenn, we found Noah hiding behind a type of fence, blocking the walkers from eating him alive as he screamed for help. "Noah, hold on!" Glenn ordered as he hit a walker with the bat, and then slammed his knife into the side of its head.
Seeing a walker make its way towards us, his head was tilted and his eyes wide. Teeth snapping as he snarled and tried to get a hold of one of us. "I got him," I assured them, swinging my arm to slice the walker's head off, I ended up hearing it clang against a metal weapon. Shit. My machete had jumped out of my hands from the contact, to which I had to struggle to get the walker away from me. Shoving it back, but wanting to pull my knife out and kill him.
Dad's eyes glanced to me quickly, without a single moment of hesitation. He took hold of what was in the walker, got it out and sliced the walker's head in two. Panting, I felt a sense of fear from the walker being so close to eating me, as I struggled against him and was relieved when my dad came to save me. Ever the hero. Panting, both of us stared at one another, I felt a sense of peace, knowing he was around to save me and protect me. But, I knew that I could of handled it if I had only pushed the walker a little harder. "It's Tyreese!" Noah told us as he made both myself and my dad look away from each other.
"Where?" dad asked him.
Curious as to what was wrong with Tyreese, I felt my heart pound and my mind start to make up things. Was he killed? Is he caught in a trap? Did he get bit? What is going on? "My house," he informed us. "He's been bit," he revealed as we all began running in the direction that Noah was leading us.
Entering the house, it looked like a raid and Noah's group had lost. All the chairs, tables and other homely objects were a mess, both broken and disorderly. Running into the room, Noah's brother had been slaughtered, in what looked like his sleep and the other brother had turned and took a chunk of Tyreese with him. "You hold him!" dad screamed to Glenn as Glenn pushed Tyreese against the wall.
Dad's hand was pulling Tyreese's arm out, whilst Michonne was preparing herself to slice Tyreese's arm off. Helping Noah find something to cover him, to stop the bleeding, I searched for anything else we could use to stop Tyreese from bleeding out. "I got it!" I heard Glenn scream back.
"Go! One hit, clean! Go!" I could hear dad's orders as both myself and Noah returned with the blanket. Sadly, the whole place had been swept clean. Nothing was suitable for what Tyreese needed, instead we had to try and make sure that the blood didn't flow too much out of his arm. What worried me, was the infection and if it had seeped enough into his system to kill him.
NPOV
Kat had wrapped Tyreese's arm as best as she could, trying to stop Tyreese from bleeding out and both Glenn and Rick started to lead Tyreese out of the town. Trying to save him from blood loss was difficult for all of them. Michonne and Kat tried to keep the group safe, killing walkers that got too close and Noah stayed close, whilst limping his way behind them.
Tyreese could feel the blood pumping in his heart slowly, how the burn was coming closer to him with each passing second. How they all tried their best to keep him alive, when the blood loss was what was making Tyreese weaker, tired and close to death. Tyreese kept fighting against the temptation to close his eyes and die, he wanted to live. The others all wanted him to live. But none of them were sure they'd get to the others in time to save Tyreese.
Reaching the gates, there was a chain keeping the walkers outside. Using the bat, Glenn busted the lock off and the chains then fell. Noah was the one staying close to Tyreese as the weight of Tyreese slowly took them both down. The pair of them fell to the ground and the walkers began to spread out. Michonne, Rick, Kat and Glenn killed as many as they could, as quickly as they could. Rick had shot one down that got too close to Tyreese to possibly bite him again.
Helping Tyreese, everyone tried to encourage Tyreese to stay with them. Which was what Tyreese was trying his hardest to do. Every step, every breath and every slow pound of his heart, made him wonder if he could keep his promise. Keep his word, that no one else had to die today. Everyone else hoped he'd survive, but at this slow, dying rate of Tyreese's response and body going cold, they weren't sure if he'd make it. They all struggled to try and get him through the wires, Tyreese's foot got caught and Glenn forced his foot through. Just before a walker could reach any of them, it fell and sliced its head against the wires, luckily.
Everyone helped carry a limb, but when it was getting to be too much, they were all luckily by the car. Getting him in, Glenn was the one to force Tyreese back into the seat. Strapping themselves in, they watched as Rick climbed into the drivers seat and drove as best as he could. Everyone was worried, but there wasn't much else they could do, other than keep an eye on Tyreese and hope for the best.
CPOV
Sat in the car with Maggie, Sasha, Daryl, Carol, Eugene, Rosita, Tara, Abraham and Gabriel, we all stayed silent. Judith was cuddled up in my arms, awake and looking around aimlessly. We had heard that wherever Noah had been staying was no longer up. Waiting for anymore news, we kept calm and silent. "Carol, we're at the car. We need to cauterize the arm and wrap it. Get Sasha and Carl away. They don't need to see this," dad said, making us all look around worried.
Instantly, something inside my gut knew that Tyreese was in trouble. How or why? None of us were sure. Carol's warning left Sasha panicked, worrying over her brother and curious to know what they had to slice off. Did Tyreese have to cut something? Did he lose a limb from a bite? What is going on? Clutching onto Judith, I kept her close and thanked God that I had her. I won't let anything bad happen to you, it's my duty as your big brother to protect you. Kat taught me that, because she's the best big sister either of us could ever have.
KPOV
Dad climbed into the drivers seat, tried to get the car to start and worked hard to try and get us out. "Come on, come on, come on, come on," he spoke repeatedly, trying to get us out of the area and back to the others. So I could have some help and the right supplies to save Tyreese. Starting the car, he drove ahead and rammed into the car ahead of us. Hitting it, suddenly walkers surrounded us. Rolling their heads, as it was the only thing they could move. 'W' was carved on their foreheads, thier arms were cut off and I instantly knew that the sick people had cut those from Noah's camp and done this to them.
Every time, the world seemed more and more shit as the hours progressed. Finally, dad reversed and drove us away from the scene. It was silent as we waited for us to come into closer contact with Carol and the others. "Turn it off," Tyreese grumbled, to which he then began to glance around and when he was finished looking around numbly, he rest his head against the window and shut his eyes.
Fear swam in my veins, worried about what Tyreese was talking about. Curious as to if he was hallucinating. "Turn what off?" I asked him, but as his head hit the window, I knew that something was terribly wrong. "Tyreese?" I asked him as I tried to shake his shoulder, everyone's eyes glanced at me and at Tyreese as I shook him. "Dad..." I drifted, eyes wide as I met his ice blue eyes through the rearview mirror.
Slowing down, dad then moved to get us all out of the car. Climbing out, I followed after Glenn and watched as the pair of them took hold of Tyreese. "Gently," dad instructed as they slowly pulled him out of the car and laid him out on the ground. "He's not breathing," dad stated as he leaned down and listened for any gentle breathing. Placing his fingers against Tyreese's pulse, he looked around and made my heart pound with worry. "He's...gone," he informed us sadly.
Dad then straightened up, moved away and wiped at his forehead. Feeling the tears threaten to build in my eyes, I pushed it back and moved to pull out my knife. Noah had his back to us, while Glenn kept still beside the car. "I've got him," I told them as I went to stop Tyreese from turning.
"No, let me do it," Michonne stopped me as she wrapped her hand around mine, which held the blade gently and took it from me. Not fighting her, I moved away from Michonne and the others. Dad went to touch my shoulder, but I moved away and kept walking. Needing air to breath, I had wished that Tyreese hadn't of died, because it always seemed to be the good ones who died the quickest. Why does this life keep failing me? I want to have hope, but this cruel world keeps denying me it.
RPOV
Seeing how Kat had ran off after Tyreese's funeral, she had left to be alone and without the group. Sat alone, silent and leaving Carl with Judith. It was as though Kat had been replaced with someone I no longer knew, it was worse than when she returned to the prison after Andrea's death. She was someone I no longer felt connected with, which worried me more than I could admit. "Kat, I need to talk to you," I told her as I finished burrying Tyreese.
Turning to me, her eyes were cold, her body slack and her entire expression was numb. As though she was more depressed than she was actually leading on. What worried me, was what happened to her soul, as all I felt was darkness when I looked into her eyes. "What do you want, dad?" she asked me.
"What has gotten into you these days?" I questioned her with furrowed eyebrows.
Sighing, she looked to me directly in the eyes and stared. For a few minutes, I slowly saw her re-animating, as though she could no longer hold back her thoughts. That she could no longer bite her tongue. "I'm tired, dad. I'm tired of losing people," she gave me an insight to her thoughts. "Tired of digging up graves and burring people we once knew," she ranted as she pointed towards the grave we had made for Tyreese.
Everything inside me wanted to reach out, to comfort her and show her I was here for her. But something told me she needed her space, so she could open herself up to me. Her eyes shut, her breathing was uneven and I knew she was feeling what she had tried very hard to conceal. Her pain and sadness. Her grief. "We-we tried so hard to get Beth back. I had hope that everything would get beter after Terminus, but nothing changed," her voice croaked as she spoke.
Opening her eyes, I saw red clash with blue as her tears spilled and ran down her cheeks. "I owed Beth everything, she saved my life," she reminded me with a strength as she would point to herself. "We owed Tyreese everything too, he saved Judith from the prison attack," she reminded me of the greatfulness we had towards Tyreese for saving Judith. "But, they're both dead now," she cried. "They've left loved ones behind," she stated what was the toughest thing about this.
Sasha and Maggie were dealing with everything in different ways. Glenn was hurt, not because of what happened to Beth, but because of how it affected Maggie too. How it had affected all of us. Kat didn't need to wipe at her dried up tears, she swallowed hard and gave me a blank look. Like she was ready for anything that was about to come her way. "Kat, what has happened to you?" I asked her, worried for her health in every aspect.
Her eyes and facial expression turned as cold as winter. Her eyes glued to me and her body tense. "We have lost more than we can ever gain," she began to tell me what she thought. "What happened, was that I finally figured out that there is no hope for us," she said what I never believed to be possible. Kat, without hope? It's unlike her. It isn't the daughter I know. "It was all just some fantasy I had in my head," she complained about what she had believed in. What I needed her to believe in.
In all truth, I wasn't sure what was happening and I wanted nothing more than to give her my life. To give her anything to make her change her mind. To make her strong again, like she was in the past. But, something in her was dying and I now knew it was her hope for humanity. "This is what life is like now, survival and losing those who are good, those we care about," she stated coldly, like this was the purest fact she had learned today. "That, is what happened," she said and turned her back on me, leaving me before I could tell her anything. Bowing my head, I sighed and shut my eyes. My daughter. I need to save her from herself...before it's too late.
We are getting a really dark turn from Kat, aren't we? I know it may seem stupid to some of you, but I think after seeing so many good people die, she's losing hope for people in the world. Between Andrea, Dale, Hershel, Beth and now Tyreese, she's finding it hard to hold onto the hope she was clinging onto. But, she loves her family and would do anything for them, but she is losing faith in hope towards the future. I hope you're liking this twist for Kat and her views about the world.
Thanks for the 10 reviews, so I would like 5 this chapter. Questions to answer in the reviews:
1) What did you think of this chapter?
2) Did you like the darker moments for Kat and Glenn?
3) How is Michonne, Daryl, Carl and Rick going to react to Kat?
4) Do you think she'll try and repair relationships, people or other things?
5) Who do you think Kat will get closer to during the second half of the season?
Until the 5 reviews,
Much love!
HeroJustInTime90 xxx
