Total Drama Chris
Chapter 55: Total Drama Izzy V
All good things must come to an end, and after ten months to the day, for this story, this chapter is that end. But we've still got a few things to take care of first, like one final Total Drama Izzy, for Katie and Bridgette. And of course, setting up the upcoming sequel. And there will be villains. Don't expect all of those villains to be obvious, though. And don't expect everyone who looks like a villain to be one, either. But just to tease a little bit, in a way that's not really giving too much away, Nicole is definitely not a villain, and Todd definitely is one.
First of all, I want to thank everyone who's made it this far. Kelsica2, an incredible writer, incredible original character maker, and Trindsay lover. Sparkling-nexis137, who's a better writer than she gives herself credit for, and so squeeingly nice a person. Realityshowfan, nice enthusiastic guy who's going to have to wait a little bit for more. The Kobold Necromancer, whose own great stories let me to realize that such a huge undertaking as this one could be, and was indeed, accomplished! musicaltheatregirl-dxc4eva, the terrific Duncan and Courtney writer all Duncan and Courtney writers aspire to be! Reading10, who's a remarkable writer for someone so young, and I can really see going places in the future. And CamperThirteen, who hasn't been around much lately, but still an awesome person. And to everyone else I haven't mentioned, a lot other great people out there, thank you!
Nicole was sitting in the middle of the stage, sitting in the middle of a small green sofa, smiling bright. On the right side of the stage was a pair of bleacher-style cushioned-backed seats. On the top row, sitting from left to right, were Noah, Sadie, DJ, Geoff, and Ezekiel. On the bottom row, sitting from left to right, were Eva, Cody, Beth, Justin, and Owen. On the left side of the stage was another pair of bleacher-style cushioned-backed seats. On the top row, sitting from right to left, were Duncan, Courtney, Lindsay, and Tyler. On the bottom row, sitting from right to left, were Leshawna, Harold, Heather, Gwen, and Trent. Pacing back and forth behind the small green sofa in the middle of the stage was Chris, looking upset.
"How much longer do we have to wait?" Chris whined. "I don't know why the producers wanted me to come to this stupid show, anyway. I hate Total Drama Izzy! I mean, seriously, what an egomaniac, putting her name in the title like that."
"As opposed to putting your name in Total Drama Chris?" Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow.
"That's different," Chris whined. "I'm the host! People expect to see lots of me! Izzy's just a dumb ol' regular contestant! One who did not even last very long this season!" Chris shook his head. "Seriously, why am I even here? I don't really like not getting to host this stupid thing, and I like even less that it's celebrating Katie's stupid victory!" Chris crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. "And where is Izzy, anyway?"
"She'll be here in a few minutes," Nicole said, rolling her eyes. "I talked to her ten minutes ago, and she said she was almost here."
"Why do I have to put my life on hold for her, anyway?" Chris asked, massaging his forehead. "I'm the host!"
"We'll see about that," Izzy said, as she cartwheeled onto the stage, landing in front of the green sofa. "But first, Nicole, I'm afraid you and I are going to have to stand today. The winner must have her space." Nicole nodded, then stood up. "I want to welcome you all to the very final edition of Total Drama Izzy." Izzy wiped a tear from her eye. "I regretfully inform you all that there will be no Total Drama Izzy next season." Izzy instantly smiled bright. "But I don't mind! It was fun while it lasted!"
"Thank goodness!" Chris said, exasperated. "Seriously, this thing was lame!"
"Enjoy the moment while you can," Izzy said sinisterly, narrowing her eyes toward Chris. "But first, I'd like to introduce our first guest for our last episode! You know her as the girl who did pretty much nothing last season, and did almost everything and more this season, give it up for Katie!"
Izzy motioned to the left side of the stage, where Katie walked out, blushing, as she made her way to the green sofa, where she made herself comfortable, half sitting up, half lying down. "I really like this seat," Katie said, pushing down on the cushion. "So comfy."
"Only the best for our little winner!" Izzy exclaimed.
"Couldn't spring for nicer seats for the rest of us, though," Noah said.
"They're nicer than those bleachers we had to sit on for yesterday's challenge," DJ said, rubbing his butt. "Those were not comfortable at all!"
"Aww," Sadie said, putting her hands together, then moved in close to kiss DJ's butt, causing him to blush. "All better."
Noah nervously turned to Katie. "Promise me that you will never, ever do that."
Katie sighed. "I promise I won't do it on international TV, OK?"
"Good enough," Noah said, wiping his forehead.
"So, is this like a celebration party, or something," Katie asked, looking around the stage in awe.
"Later," Izzy said, "but first, we have to interview the big winner!"
"Interview?" Katie asked, confused.
"Don't worry, it's cool," Geoff said, smiling. "Izzy's been doing this since she got voted off."
"I'm sorry that we didn't have time to explain what was going on here," Nicole said, embarrassed.
"I'm sorry for you face!" Chris whined, then chuckled to himself. "Good one, Chris!"
"Katie rolled her eyes. 'Why are you even here?' Katie asked," Izzy said, then laughed.
"Why are you narrating for me?" Katie asked, blinking.
"Izzy shrugged," Izzy said, shrugging. "'I've always wanted to try it,' Izzy said," Izzy said. "'Well, it's kind of annoying,' Nicole said. 'And it's not even annoying Chris that much, since he'd be more annoyed with you just talking to Katie, since he inexplicably hates her so.'" Izzy turned to Nicole, grinning wide. "Pretty close to what you were going to say?"
"Yes, actually," Nicole said, rubbing her forehead. "Not exactly word for word, but close enough."
"I'll stop then," Izzy said, then turned to Chris, blowing a raspberry. "Mostly because it's annoying you less than everyone else." Izzy turned to Katie, smiling. "So, Katie, how does it feel to be a millionaire?"
"Great," Katie said, smiling bright, perking herself up, pulling herself upright. "I mean, I still totally can't believe I actually won, but it's so awesome that I did win, and eventually the realization's going to hit me like a ton of bricks, it's just so amazing!"
"I totally can't believe it either!" Sadie exclaimed, then squeed and glomped DJ. "It's like so totally unbelievable!"
"But can you believe it?" Noah asked, smirking.
"Hush," Katie said, glaring at Noah, then resumed her bright smile. "It is unbelievably unbelievable, and in case I didn't make it clear, I cannot believe this unbelievable happening which is not to be believed!" Katie looked over to Noah, grinning deviously, then put back on her perky smile.
"Must you enjoy tormenting me so?" Noah asked.
"Yes," Katie said, "yes I must!"
"So it feels good to win," Izzy said, smiling. "You know, there are a lot of viewers out there who are going to be upset that you won."
"Finally, a voice of reason!" Chris exclaimed irritatedly.
"For some reason, people don't like you or Sadie," Izzy said, looking a paper she took out from her skirt while chewing on the end of a pair of glasses she also took out from her skirt.
"You wear glasses?" Nicole asked, confused.
"Sometimes I need them when I read," Izzy said. "It makes me look smarter."
"Not when you're chewing on them," Nicole said, confused.
"Unless you're doing it to survive," Harold said, looking proud.
"Chewing on glasses to survive," Heather stated flatly, looking unfazed. "Do explain that one."
"Once, I was left out in the bitter cold, and all I had to survive on was my glasses to eat, so I wouldn't starve," Harold said, nodding.
"Honey, I'm pretty sure you dreamt that," Heather said, shaking her head.
"Pretty sure he's talkin' 'bout those candy glasses," Leshawna said, a bit confused herself. "Also pretty sure he's exaggerating a bit."
"It's true," Harold said, with his arms crossed over his chest.
"It doesn't really matter," Heather said, massaging his shoulders. "True, not true, whatever."
"I don't know why people don't like me," Katie said, looking down, holding her hands together in her lap. "It's true, though, people don't. No one really likes me or Sadie at school, even though we're really nice and friendly, but everyone just looks at us like we're these two stupid girls."
Sadie sniffled. "It's true! People hate us, even though we're like super nice!" DJ pat Sadie's back, comforting her a bit.
"Totally nice!" Katie exclaimed. "It's like people think you're stupid and stuff just because you're happy, for some reason. I like being happy! Why shouldn't I be happy? I have the bestest friend in the whole wide world!"
"Me too, me too!" Sadie cried out.
"It's the way you carry yourself," Courtney said, nervous. "I apologize too, for I had underestimated you as well. To someone who doesn't know you, Katie, you come off as a ditzy, stupid, air-headed-"
"Please stop that," Katie said, then sighed.
"I'm sorry," Courtney said, embarrassed. "My point was that you can grate on people, but someone who takes the time to get to know you will realize what a wonderful person you are!"
"Thank you!" Katie exclaimed, beaming.
"I can attest to Miss CIT's sentiments," Noah said.
Courtney pointed her thumb to the ceiling, stretching her hand out toward Katie. "And I may have been hoping that Bridgette would win over you, but since you've won, congratulations. You've earned it." Courtney quickly pulled her hand back in, and shuddered. "Feels so artificial, doing that thumbs-up thing."
"Didn't that feel good?" Lindsay asked, smiling bright, patting Courtney's back.
"A little bit," Courtney said, looking guilty.
"Seriously, she stole victory from your best friend!" Chris shouted, throwing his hands into the air. "You should get revenge or something!"
"No," Courtney said, irritated. "She won fair and square."
"Well, Katie, let's get back to the topic at hand," Izzy said, grinning as she leaned on the arm of Katie's sofa. "You. So, have you decided what you're going to do with the million dollars?"
"Split it with Sadie!" Katie exclaimed. "I totally have to!"
"Aww, that's so nice!" Sadie exclaimed, squeezing DJ so tightly that he was having trouble breathing. "I totally would've done the same thing if I won!"
"We're such awesome BFFFLs!" Katie exclaimed, and the two squeed together, while almost everyone else covered their ears.
"Thank you for making me go deaf," Noah said, a bit shaken. "Now I won't have to hear that 'e' thing you do," Noah said, using finger quotes on the 'e.'
"Izzy is looking forward to the E thing too, but that's later," Izzy said.
"There isn't going to be that much later, you know," Chris said, rolling his eyes.
"More than you know, little man," Izzy stated in a sinister voice, glaring death at Chris, who looked freaked out. Izzy then returned to her normal smile, looking to Katie. "Do you know what you'll do with your half of the money, though?"
Katie tapped her chin in thought, then smiled bright. "I totally want to buy one of those Dance Dance Revolution machines! It'd be so totally awesome to have one of those! Ooh, and a pink Volkswagen! Those are like the cutest cars!"
"Oh, I know!" Sadie exclaimed, dreamily looking to the ceiling.
"I know!" Duncan exclaimed with unusual enthusiasm. "And you'll get to drive Noah around in your pink Beetle, and he'll be humiliated! Awesome idea, Katie!" Noah was visibly frustrated.
"I know, Duncan, he's gonna' love it!" Katie exclaimed. Noah was banging his head on the air in front of him in frustration.
"For what it's worth, Noah, I'm with you," Gwen said, then motioned sticking her finger in her mouth, gagging.
Katie waved her hand dismissively to Gwen. "He'll learn to appreciate it."
"No I won't," Noah quickly said, with his arms crossed over his chest defiantly.
"You'll probably get him to accept the idea," Nicole said, winking. "I wouldn't count on ever having him sing the praises of the car, though."
Katie smiled. "I can accept that."
"Can our big winner accept mail time, though?" Izzy asked, as she pulled out a mere four envelopes from the crack of the sofa. "You don't have many fans, I'm afraid."
"I've been telling everyone that!" Chris shouted, angry. "How come no one believes me when I say it?"
"We believe you, we just don't like you," Izzy said, grinning, then opened one of the four letters. "This one's from Timmy. Dear Katie, you're irritating, and I wish you could shut up, and stop that weird noise you make, but you're hot. How about you ditch that dead weight that always follows you around and we can-"
"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!" Katie cried out, holding her ears. "I don't want to hear that!"
"I thought Katie liked perverted stuff," Geoff said, scratching his hat.
"I thought so too, eh," Ezekiel said, shrugging.
"Not from some skeez she doesn't know!" Sadie yelled, admonishing the two from across DJ. "Who wants some freakazoid stalker following them?"
"I do!" Lindsay exclaimed, raising her hand high in the air. "Super team is drawn in air, Freakazoid! Freakazoid! Runs and pounds while under there-"
"Lindsay," Katie interrupted, looking shocked, "I totally loved that show, but I don't think that's what Sadie was talking about."
"Enough about shows that have inspired me in life," Izzy said, opening another letter. "Let's get to more mail! This one's from Hallo. Dear Katie, you're annoying. Why did they ever let you on the show?"
"I wish I could remember," Chris said, tapping his chin. "I thought stupid twins would be funny on TV." Chris frowned. "They weren't."
Katie rolled her eyes. "I couldn't have been that bad."
"We kind of thought you were," Courtney said, looking guilty. "I guess we never really noticed that you might be of more use than that."
"Doesn't help how they edited us on the show," Katie said, rolling her eyes. "Seriously, I owned that dodge ball game, but no, Chris didn't want to show any of my prowess there." Katie narrowed her eyes toward Chris. "There was a good reason I played in all five rounds! It's just too bad that me and Sadie had to cost you that challenge where we had to camp in the woods, and stuff."
"That wasn't your fault," Lindsay said, confused.
"Of course it was," Courtney said, confused. "I mean, I no longer hold any ill will toward you Katie, but I don't see how it was not hers and Sadie's fault."
"Your team kind of abandoned Katie and Sally," Lindsay said.
"Sadie, actually," Sadie said, nervous. "It kind of rhymes with Katie's name."
Lindsay stared at Sadie, confused. "O… K… I just meant that it's just as much their fault for leaving you behind as it was your fault for leaving them behind. How come you two got all the blame?" Courtney lifted her finger, about to speak, then stopped herself.
"Why Katie, anyway?" Sadie asked, worried. "Why Katie and not me? Katie would've been awesome if you kept her instead of me!"
"Just wrote down the first name that came to my mind," Duncan said, shrugging.
"I kind of liked Sadie," Harold said, shrugging. "I like a girl with some meat on her bones."
"Is that a compliment?" Sadie asked, confused.
"No it ain't!" Leshawna shouted, glaring at Harold.
"I hope that wasn't a comment about my own weight," Heather said, also glaring at Harold.
"You're skinny," Harold said, looking to Heather, who had a smile come across her face. "If you did put on weight, though, I'd accept you for it."
"That makes one of us," Heather said, sighing. Then she smiled and held Harold's hand. Gwen giggled slightly, watching.
"Back to the winner!" Izzy exclaimed as she took another envelope from the bag. "This one's from Melinda. Dear Katie, congratulations on winning the second season of Total Drama!" Izzy squinted at the letter. "She actually hand-wrote the words Total Drama in italics, too! I'm impressed she went through that effort. Anyway, let me continue, I know the new season hasn't started yet, but I know that you're going to win. I've foreseen it. Also, you may want to start something with Noah. Sincerely, Melinda."
"Wow," Lindsay said, blinking blankly. "It's like she had a fifth sense."
"Sixth sense," Courtney said, nervously looking at her friend.
"You can't fool me," Lindsay said, waving her hand dismissively. "I loved Karen Smith when I was a little girl, and she definitely called it a fifth sense."
"Gretchen was better," Courtney said, though her eyes immediately grew wide after she'd said it. "I mean, Gwen! Gwen, yes, I don't know why I just called you Gretchen." Courtney was looking frazzled.
Gwen sighed. "Fine. I'll play along, you said I was better than a fictional character, and just had a Lindsay moment."
"Thank you," Courtney whispered, smiling uncomfortably.
"Hey!" Lindsay yelled out.
"Well, here's the last one," Izzy said, opening the final letter. "This one's from Abigail. Dear Katie, I don't know too many people who like you a lot, but I just wanted to say that I think you're awesome! I just know you could've made it far if you hadn't accidentally got lost in the woods, because I could just sense there was a real tiger in there! You and Noah are awesome, and I thought I sensed some chemistry between you two in the episode where they showed the Playa' des Losers. It'd be totally cute if you two hooked up, but if you don't, then I'm taking Noah for myself! Stay cool, Abigail."
Katie tapped her chin. "I wonder if Abigail would be up for a threesome."
"No, no, no!" Noah shouted, frantic.
Katie shrugged. "Fine, but still, Noah, if I ever break up with you, I'd try to find this Abigail girl. She sounds nice."
"You know, it's funny how you hated Bridgette at the beginning of the season," Izzy said, stroking her chin, looking at Katie.
"Not one of my better moments," Katie said, looking down, twiddling her fingers.
"You like her now though, right?" Izzy asked, with a soft smile.
"She's like my runner-up BFFFL!" Katie exclaimed, beaming. "She's such a sweetie!"
"So you wouldn't mind sharing that winner's couch with her, I hope," Izzy said.
"Oh, sure!" Katie exclaimed, scooching over to the side of the sofa away from Izzy, and closer to Noah and Sadie.
"Our next guest you may remember from Total Drama Island, as well as Total Drama Katie."
"There was no Total Drama Katie!" Chris whined.
Izzy grinned toward Chris. "Well, since she won this show, I felt it only appropriate to name it after her, would you not agree?"
People watch for me, and no one watches for her," Chris said, pouting.
"Don't care," Izzy said, waving her hand dismissively to Chris. "Our next guest got sprayed by a skunk, burned down a cabin, and wrote an entire humorous biography about her stay here in the first season, please give it up for Bridgette!" Everyone applauded as Bridgette entered the stage, waving to everyone, though tripping on one of the floorboards near the sofa, hitting her face on the sofa's arm., falling to the ground.
"Are you OK?" Geoff panicked, rushing up to her.
"A little bruised, but I'm good," Bridgette said, smiling as Geoff helped her up, and onto the sofa, and mushed on the seat with her hands. "I could get used to this seat."
"Unfortunately, you won't get to for long, so do enjoy it while you can," Izzy said, smiling softly again. "Now, everyone knows you're, like, that really nice, really pretty girl."
"Oh, yes," Nicole said, grinning. "That you most definitely are! I know you're with Geoff, though, and I respect those sorts of boundaries."
"I know," Bridgette said, smiling. "I didn't really think you'd just pounce on me and make out."
"Good, 'cause not everyone does seem to know that," Nicole said. "Not that I really shouldn't felt I needed to tell you, on the other hand… sorry about that."
"It's OK, really," Bridgette said.
"That's good," Izzy said, nodding nonchalantly. "Tyler, tell Bridgette why you want her dead."
"I don't want her dead!" Tyler shouted, taken aback.
"Tyler, I thought we talked about this not wanting Bridgette dead thing," Lindsay said, raising an eyebrow to her boyfriend.
"I never wanted her dead!" Tyler shouted, defending himself.
"I'm sorry, Tyler," Bridgette said, nervously rubbing her arm. "I don't really remember what I did, but I'm guessing it was pretty bad."
"Tyler's just being a bit of a wuss, really," Duncan said, shrugging. "But then, it's just Bridgette so who cares?"
Courtney slapped Duncan's. "I care! She happens to be a good friend!"
"'He won't be flying high tonight?' ring a bell?" Tyler asked, crossing his arms over his chest, irritated.
"Not really," Bridgette said, blinking.
"When I was voted off last season, everyone was making fun of me, just for being afraid of chickens," Tyler said, irritated. "Seriously, they're scary, mutant birds of some sort!" Tyler pointed to Courtney. "I mean, she was afraid of green jelly, and no one laughed at her!"
"She also defended you," Lindsay said, irritated. "Let's not drag Courtney into this."
"I was just trying to make a point about… never mind," Tyler said, sighing. "Point is, all you guys except Courtney made fun of me."
"I didn't make fun of you," Harold said, looking seriously at Tyler. "Chickens are particularly frightening birds, especially the elusive ninja chicken." Harold narrowed his eyes. "He's out there somewhere, just waiting, but I'll be ready for him."
"No, you won't," Heather said, holding back a giggle.
"I made fun of you?" Bridgette said, looking guilty. "I'm really sorry, Tyler. I wish I could remember, but I can't believe I'd do something like that."
"You weren't being mean, Bridge," Geoff said. "We were just funnin' the guy."
"Sure felt mean," Tyler said.
"Tyler, I'm sorry," Bridgette said, smiling. "I really don't think I'd have tried to be mean like that. Geoff's probably right, but I'm sorry if it hurt you."
"Thank you," Tyler said, smiling. "I'm sorry for being angry about it for so long, but it just seemed… everyone always said how nice you were, and then you do that, and I don't know. Thank you, though."
"Yay!" Izzy cheered, clapping. "Now everyone's happy and made-up now! So Bridgette, how weird and crazy is it to be friends with Eva, anyway?"
"It's not weird!" Eva yelled.
"Yeah, it kind of is," Izzy said. "Last season you totally wanted to kill her, maim her, and all sorts of unspeakable horrors, and now this season, you're all… make nice with her."
"I had a temper last season," Eva stated.
"You have a temper this season," Noah said, raising an eyebrow.
"Dude, do you have a death wish or something?" Cody asked, looking to Noah as if he were crazy.
"He does have a death wish, but I'm not going to kill him, you know," Eva said, raising an eyebrow to Cody.
"I'm not sure why she wanted me dead, really," Bridgette said. "Because I know I never said those things about anger management to her."
"Yeah, I made a mistake there," Eva said, looking down. "Bridgette deserved another chance, and she's a good person."
"Are you seriously going to spend this entire show having everyone tell Bridgette what a good person she is?" Chris complained to Izzy. "Seriously, that's lousy television!"
"The evil guy has a point," Izzy said, then sighed. "It does make for pretty bad TV, so… pie!" Izzy took a banana cream pie from her skirt, and threw it at Chris' face. "Ha ha, that's hilarious! Now that makes for great TV!"
"My face!" Chris whined, as the contestants and audience all laughed. "I can't be seen like this!" Chris ran off the stage in a hurry.
"Did that pie come out of your skirt?" Bridgette asked, going wide-eyed upon the realization.
"How does it feel knowing that you were actually supposed to be the very first person eliminated this season?" Izzy asked.
Bridgette raised a suspicious eyebrow. "You really have to ask that?"
"Ooh, touchy subject!" Izzy exclaimed.
"No, more like 'obvious answer' subject," Bridgette said. "Of course I didn't want to be the first person voted off this season."
Katie glomped Bridgette, surprising her. "I'm sorry," Katie said sweetly. "I was really, really, really really immature and mean. And it's not like Trent wanted to go out with me anyway."
"What are you talking about?" Trent asked, confused.
"Trent wanted to go out with me!" Sadie exclaimed.
"Uh, no, he didn't want to go out with either one of us," Katie said, looking to Sadie, confused.
"I… like Gwen?" Trent asked, confused.
"You do," Gwen said, and gave him a kiss on the cheek, comforting him.
"Bridgette, you're clumsy," Izzy said. "Do you like being clumsy?"
"OK, your questions are really getting stupid here," Nicole said, rolling her eyes.
"Oh, no, I just love falling down on my face, bruising myself, breaking violins, burning down buildings, and losing a million dollars!" Bridgette said, rolling her eyes.
"I wouldn't say that last one was too terrible," Katie said, smiling uneasy.
"Oh, I mean, I'm glad you won," Bridgette said, smiling. "I just… well, wish I could've won, still. I really could've used that million."
"You still may, Bridgette, you still may…" Izzy said, trailing off. "Izzy has that fifth sense Lindsay mentioned earlier. And Izzy's fifth sense tells her to taste your fan mail!" Izzy produced a large bag from behind the sofa, took out one of the letters, put it in her mouth, chewed, and swallowed. "Tastes awful."
"Why did you eat that?" Bridgette asked, concerned.
Izzy shrugged. "Why not?" Izzy took another envelope from the bag, and opened it. "This letter is from Miguel. Dear Bridgette, you are awesome! In fact, you, Ezekiel, and Izzy are all awesome!" Izzy grew a large grin on her face. "I like this guy. Anyway, to continue, you should've won last season, and it wasn't fair how you were voted off."
"I hope he's not too disappointed this year," Bridgette said. "Thank you, though."
"That one seemed nice enough," Izzy said, taking out another letter and opening it. "This one's from Jewel. Dear Bridgette, you suck! Seriously, what's with forcing your environmental crap…." Izzy trailed off, and looked at the envelope again. "How many Jewel Gambinos are there in this country?"
"You're kidding," Heather said, with a blank look on her face. "That letter is actually from Jewel?"
"Well, it was sent last year, so… maybe she's changed?" Izzy said, laughing uneasy.
"I'd say not," Bridgette said, crossing her arms over her chest, upset. "I hate to hate people, but it's really hard for me not to hate her."
"I think I can agree with you," Lindsay said, nodding. Heather sighed, resting her head in her hands, with her arms propped up by her knees..
"Let's get a new letter quick!" Izzy shouted, hurrying to open another envelope from the bag. "This one's from Roger. Dear Bridgette, you're hot! I don't really get why Lindsay's supposed to be the hottest one, when you're so clearly superior."
"Why doesn't he think I'm the prettiest?" Lindsay asked, scratching her bandanna in confusion. "I mean, Bridgette is really pretty, but I'm prettier, aren't I?"
"Nah," Geoff said, waving his hand dismissively. "Bridgette's totally the hottest girl here right after Heather!" Heather hid her face behind her hands.
Bridgette glared at Geoff. "Would you care to repeat that?"
"What?" Geoff asked, confused. "That you're the hottest girl here right after Heather?"
"Dude, you don't say things like that in front of your girlfriend!" DJ shouted. "Bridgette's the hottest!"
"I know," Sadie said, sniffling. "I'm just Katie's fat best friend."
"I… didn't really mean that-" DJ started, getting flustered. "I mean, you're beautiful, Sadie! I just meant to tell Geoff that he needed to not say things like that in front of his girlfriend… something like that."
"I'm beautiful?" Sadie asked, wiping a tear from her eye, then hugging DJ tight. "Thank you," she said softly.
"You're welcome," DJ said, lightly hugging back, patting her back.
"I guess he's found a girl," a tanned girl said, walking out onto the stage, with long brown hair and a great body. "It's OK. I'm glad you found a nice girl, DJ."
DJ blinked in confusion. "Do I know you?"
"Oh, that's just Clarissa," Izzy said. "Izzy likes to keep her promises."
"Can I… touch him?" Clarissa asked shyly.
DJ looked nervous. "Well, I don't-"
"Yes, go!" Izzy exclaimed, pumping her fists.
"Eeeiii!" Clarissa squeed as she raced over to DJ, glomping him, knocking him down to the ground she'd come at him with so much force, where she was kissing him a lot. "You're so totally awesome, and nice, and strong, and-"
"He's mine," Sadie said, glaring at the girl.
"Oh, yeah," Clarissa said, looking guilty, getting up and dusting herself off. "I'm sorry, Sadie. You deserve a nice guy like him. You're so sweet, and beautiful." Clarissa leapt up to glomp Sadie. "Eeeiii!" Sadie excitedly glomped Clarissa back.
"Did you have to invite this person here?" Noah said, covering his ears.
"You really think I'm beautiful?" Sadie asked, beaming.
"Totally," Clarissa said, laughing. "I mean, Katie may be the skinnier one, and she's totally beautiful too, by the way, but you're gifted in other areas." Clarissa poked at her own breasts.
"I'd still kinda' rather be skinny like Katie," Sadie said, smiling still. "People kinda' make fun of me."
"Screw them!" Clarissa exclaimed. "Have DJ sic 'em if they do that. Or Katie, 'cause I totally know she can!"
"Have to say I like this girl's attitude," Leshawna said, smiling.
"Me too," Owen said, patting his belly.
"Actually, you're kind of gross," Clarissa said, contorting her face. "Seriously, you're just reinforcing that whole 'fat people are gross' stereotype, and it's hurting all the normal overweight people like Sadie here, who I'd totally love to be BFFFLs with!"
"I'd totally love that, too!" Katie exclaimed, rushing over to join in on the glomp-fest. "We could all be new bestest friends, and we could totally use a new friend, since most people tend to avoid us!"
"Love it!" Clarissa exclaimed, and the three girls all squeed together.
"Just what I needed," Noah said, covering his ears again.
"I totally want to talk to you more after the show!" Katie exclaimed. "I should probably get back to my winner's sofa, though." Katie walked back over to her seat.
"You guys should be happy I host this thing," Izzy said. "Chris would get so totally pissed with all of these weird interruptions, but it just makes the show more exciting and fun!" Izzy popped another envelope into her mouth, but spit out the letter inside, and read the saliva-covered letter. "This one's from Stan. Dear Bridgette, you're the hottest girl on the show! Marry me!"
"I'm not that hot, really," Bridgette said, blushing.
"You're a lot prettier than you give yourself credit for," Cody said.
"More than me?" Eva asked, smirking.
"Uh, can I plead the fifth?" Cody asked. "Kidding, kidding, you're both hot in your own way."
"Did I forget to put on my makeup this morning?" Lindsay asked, tapping her chin. "So many people think I'm not the prettiest today."
"It's OK, you know," Courtney said reassuringly. "You've got more to you than just a pretty face."
"I know," Lindsay said, nodding, then pushed her breasts upward. "I have these too!"
Courtney sighed. "That's not quite what I meant."
"I was kidding," Lindsay said, smiling innocently. "I know you meant brains of some sort. And you're like really smart, so I know I really must have them if you say I do!"
"I am really smart, aren't I?" Courtney proclaimed.
"Bridgette, look at me," Nicole said, moving directly in front of Bridgette's face. "You're hot. Very, very H-O-T hot, girl! Hottest girl here hot, seriously!"
"I really don't get it, but thank you," Bridgette said, smiling. "Everyone can't be wrong, I guess."
"You're not hot," Chris said as he walked back onto the stage, looking perfect again. "I think everyone's blind, or something." Chris walked to the back of the couch, leaning on the back. "I mean, you're not absolutely hideous like Beth, Eva, or Katie, don't get me wrong about that. But you're boring! Completely plain. I mean, some guy who's desperate or stupid might like what they see, but any real man, like myself, would just spit on you if you asked me out."
"You seriously believe I would ask you out," Bridgette stated, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't know why you wouldn't," Chris said, then posed. "All the girls want this!"
"I'm doubting that," Izzy said, glaring at Chris, then grinning as she dug through the bag, pulling out a blue envelope. "Well lookie here, a blue envelope! This one must be special!"
"It's not the 'eliminate Katie immediately' challenge, I hope," Katie teased.
Chris tapped his chin. "I probably should've had the forethought to specifically make that challenge a Katie-only one."
"Don't worry, Katie," Izzy said. "I have that so-called fifth sense that this is going to be really good news." Izzy casually tore open the envelope, and pulled out the letter inside. "Dear Bridgette, how would you like to co-host the next season of Total Drama?"
Bridgette glared at Chris. "Really, I wouldn't like working with Chris."
"Feeling's mutual," Chris said, filing his nails. "I wouldn't want to work with you, and I wouldn't let you."
Izzy poked Chris' nose. "You don't get a say in this."
"What do you mean 'I don't get a say in this?" Chris whined. "I'm the host! If I don't want a co-host, I don't get a co-host! I'm the star! It's that simple!"
"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Izzy went, shaking her head. "You poor, deluded little man. You actually believe that you are hosting the show next season."
"Of course I am!" Chris yelled, rubbing his forehead in irritation. "I have a contract that guarantees it!"
"Did you make sure you read all of the loopholes?" Izzy said, smirking. "Your contract guaranteed you to be the host for future seasons of Total Drama Island. It said nothing about Total Drama Chris."
"It's the same thing!" Chris yelled, getting angry.
"No it's not," Izzy said. "Legally speaking, as far as the contract is concerned, it's not. Total Drama Alphabet is also not Total Drama Island."
"Total Drama Alphabet?" Chris asked. "That's almost worse than Total Drama Katie! Seriously, of all the exciting things… an island, maybe action, maybe a world tour… you come up with something as lame as 'alphabet'?"
"We're aiming for that e/i rating in America, so yes," Izzy said. "And you're not hosting."
"Yes I am!" Chris yelled, then immediately took out his cell and started dialing. "Yes, hello! Yes, I know you didn't want me to call except for emergencies, but this is an emergency! Izzy is losing control here! She's threatening to kick me off of my own show!" Chris' eyes grew wide as screaming was heard on the other end of the phone. "What do you mean I'm a liability? I bring in ratings!" Chris' head was thrown away from the phone as more screaming was heard coming from it. "What are you talking about? People hate her, and they love me!" More screaming was heard, then a loud slam, followed by a busy signal. Chris started tearing up with a twitching eye as he dropped his phone to the floor.
"That's right, Chris," Izzy said, with an evil grin across her face. "I'm the new host! And that's why there isn't going to be a Total Drama Izzy next season. I'm in charge now, and security, get him out of here!"
"You can't do this to me!" Chris screamed, as a couple of large men picked him up and dragged him away, and Chris was going berserk . "I'm Chris Maclaine! The ladies love me! I'm a big star! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, IZZY! YOU WILL PAY!"
"You're not the first person to have given me that exact threat!" Izzy called out. "Or the second. Or third." Izzy scratched her cheek. "Maybe it's something I'm doing wrong, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't apply to this situation." Izzy shrugged, then casually turned to Bridgette. "Bridgette, I am certifiably insane. I need someone more grounded, more down to earth to assist me in my hosting duties next year, and I would be honored for you to host by my side."
"Really?" Bridgette asked, surprised. "I mean, it sounds pretty nice, and you're sure I'm not working with Chris."
"Positive," Izzy said, beaming.
"I'll do it," Bridgette said.
"Yay!" Izzy exclaimed as she glomped Bridgette. "We're going to have so much fun, me and you, next season! And everyone else will too, I hope!"
"Everyone else?" Gwen asked, suspicious.
"Well, yeah," Izzy said. "I have lots of cool jobs for you guys, too! I don't want to leave out my friends, and I really wanted to get all of you guys back together and make the best show we can! Oh, and we start shooting in two weeks."
"That's not a lot of time to get ready," Heather said, concerned. "I mean, we don't even know what we'll be doing."
"I will fill you all in, a little bit later, but all those details make for boring TV, which is still going on right now," Izzy said, pointing to the camera. "I assure you, though, that this will be the most fun we've ever had!"
"I don't know," Katie said, grinning. "Winning a million dollars was pretty fun, and shoving the victory in Chris' face."
"Good point," Izzy said. "Still, it's going to be fun!"
"Do I get to do anything?" Nicole asked, hopeful.
"Oh, I didn't forget you, my little Nikki," Izzy said, grinning wide.
"Please don't call me that," Nicole said, shaking her head.
"Oh, sorry, but you get the best role of all!" Izzy leaned in close, talking as if she were telling some big secret. "You're a contestant."
"A contestant?" Nicole said. "And not under Chris' rule? This is going to be awesome!"
"You bet!" Izzy exclaimed. "You'll get to compete for a possible million dollars in Total Drama Alphabet!"
"OK, something is bothering me here," Noah said. "The name. Not meaning to give Chris any sort of credit, but it does sound like a bad name."
"We want that e/i rating in America." Izzy proclaimed, pounding her chest. "If we want to air on broadcast TV to the kids of America without cable. Because most broadcast channels don't believe kids should be able to watch anything fun, and only put anything for kids because the FCC there requires them to air three hours of educational TV each week. So if we make the show quote-unquote educational, then we can air in everyone's homes!"
"Is this really going to be an educational show?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Hell no!" Izzy exclaimed. "But surprisingly, it doesn't take much for a show to earn that rating, so we're good anyway!"
"Does the name mean anything, though?" Bridgette asked. "I mean, what does the alphabet have to do with the show?"
"Oh, that's easy," Izzy said, waving her hand dismissively. "Chris was originally going to get twenty-two new contestants for this season, but decided it would be better to bring us back. But I was still able to find those twenty-two contestants, and interestingly, all of their names started with twenty-two different letters."
"Probably so he'd have an easier time remember who was who," Noah said, rolling his eyes. "Sure he needed all the help he could get."
"But Izzy didn't feel it was complete, so she also tried to hunt down four more contestants. And she almost succeeded," Izzy said, a little uncomfortable.
"Well, not too many people have names starting with X, so that's kind of expected," Gwen said.
"Oh, Izzy found an X contestant," Izzy said, waving her hand dismissively. "Three even! But it turned out one hot guy with a scar was already going on another reality show, and the second turned out to be some irritating little kid who refused to wear shoes that Izzy would totally make someone like Courtney babysit for me."
"I'm not babysitting anyone," Courtney said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"You won't have to, because I went with Xuxa," Izzy said.
"I used to love Xuxa when I was a kid!" Lindsay exclaimed. "She was so much fun, and so pretty, and-"
"It's a different Xuxa," Izzy said. "I still need to get Xuxa here. "Izzy's already brought most of the contestants here already, who you've already been seeing."
"I knew something was up," Heather said, raising an eyebrow. "I really don't like that R-contestant very much."
"Rachel," Izzy said. "She'll probably be the first person voted off, I agree, but someone's got to go first. Might as well have someone everyone's going to hate so that the better people get to last longer, right?"
"That makes sense," Heather said, nodding.
"Wait," Courtney said, confused. "So why twenty-five contestants? Why not twenty-six?"
"Izzy is going to be arranging for our E to be coming very soon, and personally, I really like her! She's like so nice, getting to talk to her, getting to know her! She'd totally be my BFFFL if I were allowed to play favorites!"
"I thought I was your 'BFFFL,'" Nicole said, smirking. "Not that it really bothers me much."
"I dunno'," Izzy said, shrugging. "You just don't seem like a BFFFL-type of person."
"Good call," Nicole replied.
"Anyway, Izzy had a whole lot of trouble with M. M people just don't exist, or something. I mean, except for this weirdo named Margo, who specifically wanted to be an intern, and not a contestant." Izzy shrugged. "But it's just as well. M is unlucky, anyway."
"I've never heard that," Cody said, confused.
"I dunno'," Owen said, scratching his head. "Thirteen's unlucky, and M's the thirteenth letter, isn't it?"
"Exactly, my ex-man," Izzy said. "Everyone knows how evil thirteen is, so it's really for the best."
"I guess that… sort of makes sense?" Gwen said, confused.
"Superstitions themselves make no sense," Courtney said, shaking her head in the palm of her hand.
"Well, you can help with all the legal mumbo jumbo," Izzy said, smiling. "That will definitely be one of your-I mean, if you're going to come back."
"It'll be so much fun!" Lindsay exclaimed, glomping Courtney. "Please, please, please?"
Courtney sighed. "Well, I guess I can study while I'm-"
"Yay!" Lindsay exclaimed. "We can have, like, slumber parties!"
"Now that's what I'm talking about!" Geoff exclaimed, throwing his hat into the air.
"Slumber parties are usually girls-only, you are aware," Courtney said, raising an eyebrow.
"Aww, Geoff's fun," Lindsay said, looking down.
"Yes he is," Izzy said. "Anyway, in conclusion, Katie is the big winner for Total Drama Katie, Bridgette and I are going to be hosting next season's Total Drama Alphabet, which we'll be starting tape two weeks, and I hope you all join us for that, bye-bye!" Izzy waved for the camera, and continued until the lights dimmed.
"I don't suppose we can rig the game for Rachel to lose?" Heather asked.
"Watch her win just to spite us all," Gwen said, rubbing her forehead.
"Legally, we can't rig this thing," Izzy said. "I do hope you three will be back to help with next season, though. I like your camaraderie together, and I know just how to use that!"
"We'll think about it," Heather said.
"Well, there's a party in the main lobby for us," Izzy said. "And Nicole too, I guess. You can join us, too!"
"Thanks," Nicole said, smiling.
"OK, where the hell is Chris?" Emily yelled, storming onto the stage, with Zoe nervously chasing after her.
"We already kicked him out," Izzy said.
Emily looked down. "I'm too late to tell him off, I guess. I can't believe how stupid I was, just following him blindly!"
Zoe looked uncomfortably at everyone in the room. "Emily and I had a bit of a discussion. She was concerned after the trying to kill Katie with the bomb incident, and I seem to have finally gotten through to her."
"He is dead when I find him, dead!" Emily screamed as she stormed out of the room, with Zoe following closely behind.
"I'm sorry about that," Zoe said, smiling uncomfortably. "I'd better keep a close watch on her for now, though!"
Izzy scratched her head. "OK, that was really weird." Izzy started stroking her chin. "Ooh, Lindsay! I'd just remembered something!"
"What?" Lindsay asked, confused.
"Do you remember Alexis?" Lindsay had a blank look on her face. "The girl who didn't want to be mean to you in the McDonald's challenge, but Chris kind of threatened her if she didn't?"
"Oh yeah," Lindsay said, nervous. "She seemed so nice, but then she just turned against me."
"First of all, she feels terrible about that. And second, she'll be with us as an intern in a couple of weeks. Give her a nicer role on the show, and all."
"That's… is that good?" Lindsay asked, confused.
"It is," Courtney answered, smiling.
"And… I guess we're all just about finished here," Izzy said, sighing, then put on a big smile. "Party time!"
"Whoo hoo!" Geoff exclaimed, as he raced with Bridgette out the door, excited.
"It's going to be, like, so awesome, getting to know you guys!" Clarissa exclaimed, squeeing with Katie and Sadie as they left the room, with both Noah and DJ covering their ears.
"Want a quick make-out session before we get to the party?" Cody asked, raising an eyebrow as he and Eva were exiting.
Eva looked around nervously, then grinned. "Race you to the bathroom!" Eva darted off, leaving Cody behind in the dust.
"Hey, no fair head start!" Cody called out, chasing her.
Soon enough, everyone had left, except for Gwen, Heather, Harold, and Leshawna, still talking about things, and Izzy, casually watching, waiting for them to leave, which after a few minutes, they did.
"Ooh, Heather," Izzy said, grabbing her shoulder as she was leaving, "I have something I need to talk to you about. Something special. I have to go someplace after the party, a very important meeting to get a certain E-named contestant on the show next season, and I was hoping you might want to come along with me. I've gotten the higher-ups to help arrange a meeting for you, and I've heard that she would really love to see you."
"Who?" Heather asked, raising a curious eyebrow.
Heather was sitting in a cold, grey, windowless room, sitting in a hard chair on one side of a small, ugly table. Heather was visibly shaking, waiting. After what felt like forever, a short, fairly pretty girl with short blonde hair sat down on the other side of the table, wearing ugly prison garb.
"Hi," the girl said, scared.
"Jewel," Heather stated, glaring at the girl.
"You remember me," Jewel said, very uncomfortable. "I'm sorry."
"You're sorry," Heather said, irritated. "Is that all?"
"Well, yes," Jewel said. "I don't really have any excuses. I was mad with power, and I didn't handle it well at all. I mean, not to say you were the nicest person when you were at the top, but compared to me, you were an absolute saint. And you didn't try to kill anyone. That's definitely a point in your advantage"
Heather started tearing up. "I really miss the old days. Back when you, me, and Taylor were all inseparable."
"I do too," Jewel said, crying. "I hate this place! I just… I didn't know what I had. I just kept wanting more! More! More! I was awful, deplorable… I don't know." Jewel sighed. "I'm sorry for turning the school against you like I did."
"I kind of needed a wake-up call," Heather said, smiling slight, still crying.
"I wish I could've gotten one before this," Jewel said, miserable.
"I can't believe Chris got away with using you like this," Heather said, sounding angrier.
"I promise killing people was not Chris' idea." Jewel hung her head in shame. "That was all me."
"He shouldn't have even allowed that possibility in the first place!" Heather shouted, angry, but then softened her expression. "You know, deep down, I feel it's my fault, too."
"It's not your fault," Jewel said.
"I kind of abused you when I was at the top," Heather said, looking guilty. "If I treated you better, maybe I could've prevented this."
"Coulda' woulda' shoulda', it's my fault," Jewel said, then looked around. "And maybe a little bit Chris', but we were both really immature, stupid girls. And both of us were quite intelligent despite being so incredibly stupid at the same time."
"Funny how that works," Heather said, smiling a bit, wiping a tear from her eye.
"Izzy…" Jewel said, trailing off. "I was sort of surprised that I could hurt her like I did. I said things that seemed to really affect her. Really, really deep, and I'm pretty sure it was accurate, but just so… cruel. I deserve to be here, really. I wish I could apologize to her."
"I don't think Izzy's stayed too mad at you, since she actually set up this meeting for us," Heather said, smiling. "I'll be sure to tell Izzy what you said, though."
"Thank you," Jewel said, wiping a tear from her eye. "Also, I said some truly awful stuff to Bridgette. I don't even know how to take that stuff back. I meant most of what I said. I don't like people like her."
"Bridgette's a sweet girl, really," Heather said.
"I wish I could've known her," Jewel said. "Or at least, I wish I never opened up my stupid mouth. She didn't deserve that, even if I really didn't like her, and now, I feel bad that I said anything."
"But not bad about trying to kill her," Heather said, raising an eyebrow.
"Of course I feel bad about that!" Jewel shouted. "Did I really need to specifically state that part?"
Heather giggled a bit, then wiped another tear from her eye. "I really do miss you, Jewel. Even knowing the monster you've turned into, my old friend is still in there."
"Thank you," Jewel said, smiling, tears gushing down her face. "It'll be a long ten year wait, though, but I might get out earlier for good behavior. Which, honestly, is going to be hard in this place." Jewel shuddered. "Can you please write to me, though? I can't tell you how lonely I am here, and just hearing from you would help make it slightly bearable."
"I would love to," Heather said, smiling, wiping another tear from her eye.
"Thank you!" Jewel cried. "Surprisingly, there's already been one person to write to me, a Mallory Lamy. Seems like such a sweet girl."
"How did someone even know you were here to write?" Heather asked, curious.
"Well, the case kind of got a lot of publicity, you know the whole Total Drama thing…" Jewel said, waving her hand along as she was talking, "all of Canada heard about it while you were all competing."
"Start wrapping it up!" a guy shouted from outside the room.
"I'm sorry I couldn't stay here longer," Heather said, getting up from her seat.
"I'll get used to it eventually," Jewel said, getting up from her seat as well, and approaching Heather to give her a hug, and Heather hugged back, both crying profusely. "I'm really sorry, and I'm really going to miss you."
"I'll miss you too," Heather said, patting Jewel's back. "I hate you being here, really, but I can't tell you how nice it is to be friends again."
"Long-distance friends for a while, at least," Jewel said, collapsed onto Heather. "Thank you."
Heather had a big smile, though she was still crying. "You're welcome."
