Author's Note: MB I love reading your reviews – so don't hold back LOL – any the family is well thank you. Csiaddict2002 apologies for causing withdrawal symptoms – hopefully the prognosis is better with the release of another chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Stargate Atlantis or the characters. The only things that are mine are any original thoughts or characters that you may find here. As always all mistakes are of my own making and will hopefully be forgiven.
Chapter 50
Blood soaked her hands. It was John's blood. There was so much of it. Too much. She had to stop the bleeding but nothing she did made any difference. It bubbled up between her fingers slowly stealing her love from her. She was losing him all over again. Tears spilled from her eyes as she wept for him. "Don't leave me, John."
ooOoo
Dr Keller finished stitching the wound in Elizabeth's side and reached for a fresh dressing. Whatever caused the wound had sliced into the soft tissue deep enough to reach muscle. It would be sore for a while but no serious damage had been caused.
Elizabeth moved under her hands and began to mumble something Keller couldn't quite hear. She took her friend's hand in her own and leaned in close. "You're safe now, Elizabeth." Keller's words seemed to provide little comfort as Elizabeth continued to struggle with her dreams.
"Don't leave me, John," mumbled Elizabeth.
Keller caught the words this time and replied, "Elizabeth? Elizabeth you're safe. You're on the Daedalus and so is John."
ooOoo
The images from Elizabeth's dream were all to vivid in her mind making her question what was real and what wasn't leaving her with a sense of dread. She was almost too scared to ask the question that could crush her heart but she had to know. "How…how is he?"
"He's alive and Carson's working on keeping him that way."
"There was so much blood," mumbled Elizabeth. She could feel it on her hands. Warm and sticky. His blood. His life. Slipping away from her. "I..can't lose him." She wiped her hands on her clothes desperate to remove the reminder but she could still feel it. Why won't it come off? She rubbed harder until hands caught hers and held her still.
"Elizabeth? Can you hear me? You're in shock. I'm going to give you a mild sedative. It won't knock you out, I promise. It'll just help calm you, okay?"
Elizabeth barely heard Keller's words as she stared at her hands. Was she going crazy? She could still feel his blood but her eyes were telling her a different story and she had no idea which one was telling the truth.
"Elizabeth?"
She reluctantly looked up and found Keller watching her.
"You're not going crazy, Elizabeth. It's a natural reaction to what you've been through. It may not seem like it right now but it will get better." Keller released Elizabeth's hands and picked up the syringe. "Now as I said this is just a mild sedative to help calm your nerves. Then if you're up to it there are a few people who'd like to see you otherwise just say the word and I'll tell them you're sleeping. Your call."
There was really only one face she wanted to see right now. She needed to see him with her own eyes to convince herself that he was still alive. Still with her. But that wasn't an option. Maybe a distraction was what she needed. Anything to stop the images of John taking his last breath flashing through her head.
"Elizabeth?"
"Sorry, yes I'd like that. I guess they're pretty worried too. Send them in."
Keller rested a hand on her arm and gave her a small smile. "No need to apologise. I'll go get them."
ooOoo
"How can he sleep?" asked Rodney.
Teyla glanced across at her sleeping friend before turning back to Rodney. "In battle one must sleep when the chance arises."
"Even when your friend is probably fighting for his life?"
"Even then."
Teyla looked up as she heard footsteps and spotted Doctor Keller approaching. She placed a hand on the arm of her sleeping friend and woke Ronon from his slumber. They were all tired and in need of food and sleep but no-one had been ready to go in search of either one without hearing about their friends first.
"Doctor Keller, how are they?" asked Teyla as she stood.
"Elizabeth will be fine with some rest. She has quite a collection of bumps and bruises, some of them a few days old. She also has a sprained wrist and a minor wound in her side that needed stitches. Nothing that won't mend. She's a little disoriented but that's to be expected with what she's been through. You can see her if you'd like."
"We would very much like that," replied Teyla with a smile. She had no doubt that Elizabeth would be changed by what she had endured. But she also had no doubts that she would recover and be stronger for it. Such was her nature.
"What about Sheppard?" asked Rodney.
Teyla watched the expression on Keller's face change and felt her own worries deepen.
"Carson is still trying to stabilize him. John's lost a lot of blood but he's a fighter. I'll let you know as soon as I know anything more."
"Thank you, Doctor," replied Teyla. It was not the news she had hoped to hear. She had seen John overcome many obstacles in the time that she had known him. Hopefully he would be able to overcome this one as well.
ooOoo
Elizabeth forced a small smile onto her face as Teyla led the rest of John's team in her direction. It really was good to see them after fearing that they were all dead. She ran her eyes over each of them in turn wanting to confirm for herself that none of them carried any injuries. She noticed a few scrapes and bruises but saw nothing to cause her further worry. She finally settled on Teyla as the Athosian stopped by the head of the bed and laid a hand on her shoulder.
"It is good to have you back, Doctor Weir."
"Thank you, Teyla," replied Elizabeth doing her best to sound normal and wondering if it sounded as far from normal to the others as it did to her. She turned back to study Ronon as a memory flashed through her mind. She was in another room tied to a chair. Her cheek was burning where it had been hit. A hand tightened on her shoulder and she found herself back in the infirmary wondering what had just happened.
"Elizabeth?" asked Teyla.
"I thought you were dead," replied Elizabeth quietly. "All of you. I thought that was why you didn't come." She glimpsed guilt in Ronon's eyes before he looked away. Another memory assailed her. A memory of the big Satedan falling as another man stepped out of the shadows pointing a weapon at John. She wasn't the only one to notice his reaction she realised as Teyla spoke up.
"It was not your fault Ronon," stated Teyla.
"I let them get the drop on me."
"You were outnumbered," added Rodney.
"Doesn't matter."
"Now that's just nuts," replied Rodney.
She let their words wash over her as exhaustion threatened to pull her back down into darkness. She wasn't ready to give into it again. Not until she heard from Carson. Her future rested in his hands.
"Elizabeth?" asked Teyla.
Elizabeth looked up and found three pairs of eyes watching her with concern. She ran a shaky hand across her face, wiping away the moisture that threatened to fall and tried to pull herself together.
"I'm okay." She could see they didn't believe her and she couldn't blame them when she didn't believe it herself. Only one thing would make her okay again.
"Sheppard's tough," said Ronon.
"And stubborn," added Rodney.
She took a deep breath and nodded. They were both right, she knew that. She butted heads with John often enough to know how stubborn he could be. It had gotten him into trouble a time or two but it had also gotten him out of it. "I know."
ooOoo
Carson looked down at his patient watching the small rise and fall of his chest with each breath. It had been a close call. Closer than Carson really cared to admit. If truth be told his patient should be dead given the amount of blood he lost. Stubborn bugger, thought Carson.
The Colonel wasn't out of trouble by any means but he had at least survived the surgery and that in itself was a miracle. Only time would tell if it was enough. Carson sighed. No doubt the others were still gathered in the main part of the infirmary waiting for news. It was an all too common ritual with the Colonel and his team. All too common indeed. Especially for John. It was only a few weeks since his last stint in the infirmary. His injuries had been serious then as well. It would make John's recovery all the more difficult this time around.
Carson wiped a hand across his forehead. It was hard work putting his friend back together so soon after the last time. Both physically and emotionally. He feared the day that his efforts wouldn't be enough. Hopefully that day was long into the future. He'd lost patients before. Every doctor did. It came with the job but losing friends wasn't something he'd considered when he signed on to the Atlantis expedition.
He let out a sigh as he turned away and went in search of the Colonel's team. Fate didn't always play fair but then neither did he. Not when it came to keeping his friends alive. He would do whatever was needed to make sure the Colonel recovered fully. Even if it meant ordering the man back to Earth. And he had just the right blackmail to ensure the man didn't argue with him.
Carson found John's team gathered around Elizabeth's bed. They turned as they heard him approach allowing him to get his first good look at Elizabeth. She had only been gone a few days but in that time she had lost weight. Add that to the probable dehydration, the definite beating, the exhaustion and the obvious worry for one Colonel and he had every reason to order her back to Earth as well. He had planned to anyway since she was his blackmail but now he had even more reason to see that it happened.
ooOoo
Elizabeth tightened her grip on the bed linen as she watched Carson approach. There had been so much blood. Nothing she did could stop the bleeding. It had stained her hands, his clothing and coated the floor where John had finally passed out. She had feared she would lose him before help arrived. She still might. She was almost too afraid to ask in case she heard the words she truly dreaded but she had to know. She just didn't know how she would survive if her worst fears came true.
"How…how is he?" asked Elizabeth.
"I won't lie to you, lass. He's in pretty bad shape but he made it through surgery and for the moment he's stable."
Elizabeth released her breath. It wasn't the news she was hoping for but at least John had a chance. It would have to do.
"May we see him?" asked Teyla.
Carson smiled. "Aye, once Marie has him settled."
ooOoo
Teyla stayed close by her side as she made her way to John's bed under her own steam. Carson had offered her the use of a wheelchair but she had turned him down. It was silly really but the thought of accepting angered her. She supposed it was just a reminder of all they had been put through. A reminder of what they had lost and could still lose. It was important to remember. She knew that but today wasn't the day to start. Today she just wanted to forget for a little while but one look at John's battered and pale face and she knew she wouldn't be forgetting for a long time to come.
Elizabeth moved to John's right side and covered his hand with her own. His right arm was dressed in fresh bandages from wrist to elbow. His left was also bandaged and strapped across his chest. More bandages were visible under his hospital top, appearing bright against his grey pallor. He looked so fragile, laying there so still, dark bruises marking the skin not wrapped in bandages. It wasn't a term she normally associated with John. It was heart-breaking to see him look so broken.
She wiped away the tears that threatened to fall. If she started crying she doubted she could stop and she didn't need anyone thinking she was broken too. John would make it. He had to. It had taken her a long time to realise what he meant to her. Now that she did she didn't plan on letting him go without a fight of her own.
Someone placed a chair beside her and she sank into it gratefully. Carson would argue with her she knew but she had no intentions of leaving John's side. Not until she knew he was going to be okay.
A hand touched her shoulder gently and she looked up to see Teyla watching her.
"John is strong and he has much to fight for."
"Thank you, Teyla," replied Elizabeth.
They meant well. They all did and she was grateful for that but it did little to alleviate her worries. She knew all too well how precarious life really was. How so easily she could still lose John despite Carson's efforts. It didn't bare thinking about but she couldn't think of anything else.
She had been no different when John had gone missing for two months. She had continued to do her job and sent teams out looking for answers whilst she slowly fell apart. She had eaten little and slept even less until Carson had threatened to sedate her. In the end John had found his own way home when nearly everyone else had given up on seeing him again. She hadn't given up then and she wouldn't give up now but ultimately it wasn't up to her and that was what worried her.
TBC
A/N: You didn't think it would all be rosy once the Daedalus beamed them out did you? This chapter was supposed to be an epilogue but the plot bunnies stamped their feet and threw a few evil glares my way. Needless to say I gave in and the chapters to come are their fault, not mine.
