A/N Hello, lovely amazing readers! I love you people... especially those of you who... VOTED FOR ME IN MonStErScLosEt's Channy awards! I recently discovered this story won 'Cutest Channy Story'! THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO VOTED!

I still can't even get over the fact that I was nominated, let alone won! I love you people! So this is a fluff chap for celebration before we head down the angst city I have planned out.

WARNING: This attempt at a wholly humorous chapter might possibly come off as crackish, but I hope you enjoy it.

SIDE-NOTE: I hope I don't offend anyone here. I'm just messing about! :)

Chapter 45

Letters and Nicknames

(alt. Straight as a Roundabout)

SPOV

Just as I finished my sentence, there was a loud crash, which I suspected to be Marta, Tawni and Portlyn breaking down the hotel door. I giggled.

"Sonny Munroe, what on earth have you been doing?" My mom asked, sounding distressed. I coughed to hide my further laughter.

"Sure you wanna know Mom?" I giggled. I could practically feel her glaring through the phone. "Chill, I'll tell you. Just don't yell at me."

"Hm... That's a maybe on that one, baby girl. 'Fess up." Mom said, semi-sternly.

"We-e-ll..." I started but then a small noise interrupted me.

"ALLISON MUNROE GET YOUR TINY BUTT OUT HERE!" a female voice yelled shrilly. I erupted into a giggle-fit.

"Hi Tawni!" I yelled through the door. There was a loud banging noise against the door, which I was leaning against. I sniggered some more.

"Sonny, what's going on there?" My mother asked anxiously. I smiled.

"Relax, Mom, some of the casts are just after my blood. It's nothing, really." I grinned.

"Got that right!" I heard Tawni yell faintly. My mom gasped, which seemed hilarious to me. Seriously, why was everyone being so dramatic today? First Chad and the blow-out, then me yelling back at Chad for the blow-out, then their reactions now, then my mom's reactions to their reactions! Really, what was the big problem?

"They're WHAT?" My mom yelled. I giggled.

"Relax. I'm locked into the bathroom, and if they manage to break the door down, I have an escape plan. Or, y'know, I could just throw the sink at them... That could work..." I mused. I though I heard a faint 'Heaven help us...' from my phone, but I couldn't be sure. Ah, well, 'twas all the same to me.

"ALLISON!" That sounded suspiciously like Marta...

"GO AWAY NASTY ORANGE-FACED TWIT!" I screamed back. I heard some laughter, and some nasty orange-faced words. Ew, what was with the cussing?

"Don't be fooled by our laughter! WE'RE STILL MAD AT YOU!" I heard Nico yell. Huh, didn't know he was there.

"Are the boys out there? Awww, guys, that's breaking the rules! NO BOYS IN GIRL'S ROOMS! THAT'S A RULE!" I yelled. My head felt too light.

"IT'S ALSO A RULE THAT RANDOMS DON'T ASSOCIATE WITH FALLS' KIDS! AND YOU KISSED THE LEADER!" That sounded suspiciously like... Devon? Whut the?

Oh well, s'pose Marta dragged him up. I frowned. Two such creepy, creepy people...

"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME COME OUT! YOU AREN'T SPARKLY VAMPIRES!" (Oops, he did it again! by JasperSAYSrelax128 reference!)

"Is she referencing Twilight? SOMEONE TELL ME SHE'S NOT REFERENCING TWILIGHT!"

"GO AWAY MANDY! NO ONE ASKED YOU!" Tawni screamed. My mind went even more blank. Mandy? What was Mandy doing here?

"WHAT'S MANDY DOING HERE? IS SHE OUT TO STEAL MY CHADDY? YOU CAN'T HAVE CHADDY, MANDY!" Marta screamed psychotically. By this point, everyone was yelling at everyone. I threw my phone at the door.

"EVERYONE SHHHHHH!" I shrieked. There was a silence. "Awwww, thank you!" I gushed gratefully. "Now, what do you all need?"

"Uhh... what'd we need guys?" Tawni asked after a few seconds. There were mumbles of confusion. "Must be nothing then. Later, Allie!" I heard them all leave.

I stared at the still-closed door for about two seconds, and then I burst out laughing.

D/I/K/Y

CPOV

My face went, if possible, an even darker shade of red as she pecked me on the cheek. I froze up as she muttered a quick goodbye and ran off, her long hair swinging behind her. I couldn't quite take my eyes off her retreating figure. I heard a loud growl and at least three people took off after her; Tawni, Marta and... Devon? What?

After a moment of hesitation, Zora, Nico and the others followed them. I bit my lip, hoping they wouldn't yell too much- because after her being upset today, I doubted either of us could take that.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, and turned to see Chastity. I smiled very slightly, realizing at least one of our cast members wouldn't kill us if we got-

Hold on, did I just think that?

No. No way. I um, meant if we admitted to being best friends. Not if 'we got together,'- there's no way I thought that. Nuh uh.

"She'll be fine." Chastity smiled, and I gave her a look of shock.

"What...?" I managed to get out.

"I know you worry about her, Chad. Her. Sonny." She murmured. I stared at her, eyes wide. Oh, flip me... If Chas has figured it out, has anyone else?

Then again... the only thing she's figured out is that I care.

Sonny is safe.

"I don't... know what you're talking about." I countered feebly. Her smile grew to a grin.

"You care for her. A lot. I can see that, Chad. And I can see you're not all bitterness and arrogance. There's more than a little heart still in there... You're just careful who you let see it. I understand that."

And then, she patted my arm gently, and walked away.

I sat on the bench outside the restaurant, my head in my hands. All I wanted was to go to bed, but I knew if I started to go upstairs I might interrupt a fight, and I probably wouldn't be able to stop myself defending Sonny right now.

D/I/K/Y

*next morning*

"Hey, kids- the hotel got a ton of post addressed to you lot today!" Jenny called. I looked up in interest- the way she said it, it didn't sound like she was talking about fan-mail.

"'Kay, not all of you have got mail, and no, Miss Balatico, it's not fan-mail. You get fan-mail at the studios- are we in the studio? No. Therefore, no fan-mail." She stated, talking right over Marta's whine. "Tawni, Zora, Chastity, Skylar..." She walked as she talked, handing out letters. "Allison, Grady, Chad..." I felt a light thump as a pile of letter landed in my lap before I could hold my hands out for them. I was surprised at the amount. I flicked through the unopened envelopes, and quickly worked out that my mom had decided to tell my all my relatives that they could write me. I felt a stab of fear. I hadn't seen half of my aunts and uncles in a long time, so their letters were usually full of 'I'm-so-sorry' and bad advice and asking what the news was. On the other hand, I loved my family, and I knew they meant the best. I was probably mostly scared of the cramp I'd have in my hand after writing them back.

I sighed and opened the first letter, and was greeted by some loopy, huge, bright pink handwriting. I started to read, unaware that I'd caught the attention of Devon and Nico.

Dear Chad

Hey! How are you, hun? It's been way too long since we talked properly! How's Sam? ;) Yeah, Julia told us. She TOLD US! Haha. Next time you visit, there will be no escaping the interrogation! We know all your tricks now, babe :D

Anyhoo, I saw your stupid show on the other day. I'll admit it, the story-line's actually getting better! I still hate it though, that thing took you away from your family.

They were playing our song the other day! You know the one, I know you do :) and I also can tell you're grinning like an idiot right now. There's no way I'm wrong. Nuh-uh.

Anyhoo... Come visit us soon! I miss you- and I probably miss Sam even more! It's fun watching you run around like a lost puppy after your 'friend'. Lol, you're so whipped! Yeah, I remember that time with the sprinkler ;)

So, down to business... I'm good, Alice is good, Aunt Maia is good, Uncle Awesome Arthur is good... Oh, and did I mention I missed you?

Yes, as you can see, my attention span has WELL improved.

Well, I'm not gonna write much more... My hand hurts!

Basically, we miss you, I hope you visit soon, and Mom send her love :)

Give Sam my love! And I refuse to accept that you two are 'just friends'

Love you, idiot.

Jeff ;) xo

PS HI CARLY!

Just as I finished reading, the letter 'mysteriously' disappeared. I looked from my now-empty hand to Devon, who was reading it over. I dived for it, but he moved away and continued to read. I stared with horror at his steadily growing smirk.

"Hey everyone, I've found something ve-ry interesting out..." He yelled. Naturally, he just had to catch the attention of all cast-members, So Random! and Mackenzie Falls alike. I mentally face-palmed. "Chad Dylan Cooper... He just might be... AS STRAIGHT AS A ROUNDABOUT!"

Oh, no. Of course he would come to that conclusion...

Everyone stared at me open-mouthed, with the exception of Sonny. She was smirking at the letter. I was pretty sure she'd worked it out who it was from.

Marta ran over to me.

"You're gay? So THAT'S why you won't go out with me! Oh, well, now you can tell us all about everything and advise us on clothes and stuff!" She gushed. I put my face in my hands.

"Marta. I'm not gay." I said through my teeth. She ignored me.

"It all makes sense now! I knew I was irresistible! Ohhh, now we can all go shopping! Yay! I always wanted a gay BFF!" I resisted the urge to bang my head off the wall as everyone (but Sonny) started muttering and whispering and pointing. I stood in humiliation for what felt like hours.

Sonny caught my eye and gestured towards the bench. I sent her a small grin, and walked towards it. I stood on the seat so everyone could see me, and put my fingers to my lips and whistled.

Silence fell.

"Thank you." I said in relief. "Now, let me explain. Devon just stole a letter my 'funny'" I drew air-quotes in the air. "sent to me. I am not gay, just victimized by an older cousin with a bad sense of humor." I muttered the last part. "Anyway, in translation- my cousin Holly, a long time ago, because my best friend was a girl, decided to call my best friend 'Sam' and me 'Carly', a) because she was obsessed with the show iCarly at the time, and b) because she thought we were more than friends, which was a lie. In retaliation, I started calling her 'Jeff,', which she unfortunately found funny, and instead of stopping, she continued to use all three nicknames.

"So, in short- I'm not gay- I have a girl best friend and a lot of family jokes because of it. Happy now?"

Everyone looked stunned. Even Sonny.

I stepped off the bench, feeling uncomfortable in the silence.

"Yeah, whatever Carly." Devon smirked. I rolled my eyes.

"Devon, are you related to me?" I asked innocently. He gave me a weird look.

"Uh, no...?"

"Then, sorry, you can't get away with calling me that. I'd never live it down." I walked into the café, intending to get breakfast.

SPOV

I smiled smugly at the letter Devon was holding. With that reaction, there was only one person who could have sent that thing- Holly!

I was stunned by Chad's little speech, though. I felt a warmth in my chest at the reminder of the good times. Everyone slowly followed him into the café, and soon only me and Chastity were left. She started to walk past me, but paused and turned to me. I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Hi, Sam." She murmured, and then continued into the café.

A/N THERE YOU GO!

I hope you liked this chap! Sorry it was short, especially when the wait was so long! I've just had a lot going on- friend trouble, hard coursework, stuff like that :)

Anyway, I genuinely hope I didn't offend anyone. I know a guy who's literally the most camp person you'll ever meet, and I love him to bits! This chapter was meant to be FUNNY and nothing more.

Oh, and on another note- in the last chap you may have seen some things like this- [*] and [**] they were originally meant to be defined in the A/N, but I forgot, so I'll do it here;

[*] Lucy by Skillet

[**] chapter 4 reference.

Ok, that should be everything! Thanks for reading!

Reviews are love!

Hannah x