It is WAY too early in the morning when I hear a knock downstairs. I glance at Peeta to make sure he hasn't stirred as I throw on a robe and rush to the door. I wince as I move, noting how sore I am. It's a good kind of sore, like the morning after my first time with Peeta, but I'll still have to hide it from him or else, he is going to think he's done something wrong.

Haymitch and Effie both carry our sleeping children to their rooms and Haymitch gives me an apologetic look.

"Effie got an urgent call from the Academy and she has to leave for the Capitol immediately. I'm taking her to the train station now but we wanted to bring them home first. We already dropped off Aran and the twins."

"Thanks Haymitch," I say softly, the house still too quiet. He pats my shoulder before he leaves, and I hurry back upstairs before Peeta wakes up. I slip back under the covers and try not to jostle him.

Damn him for being such a light sleeper.

"Everything ok," he asks sleepily.

"Everything's fine. Haymitch just had to bring the kids home early. They're still sleeping. Go back to sleep." He yawns and moves over on the pillow so I can rest my head below his chin. I feel sleep tug at me and I fall back to sleep as well.


When I wake up again, I note that I am alone. I really need a shower but I'm not planning to leave the house, so I just pull on a long robe and braid my hair. When I open the bedroom door, my son bounds into my sight.

"Mama! Play wif me!" I laugh as he drags me down the hall, then he decides to take me downstairs. I imagine my husband and daughter are in the kitchen, working on breakfast.

But when I get downstairs, I see that I am wrong.

Rye tugs me into the kitchen, where Peeta is slumped over the table, his face in his hands. Haymitch stands over him, his arms crossed over his chest. I shoot a questioning look toward Haymitch and sit across from my husband.

"What's going on?"

"Districts 2, 4, 8, and 11 are upset that they didn't get a 'personal holiday message' from the president. Peeta's been getting angry letters all morning."

"I didn't mean…I just wanted to do something nice for them, since they did something so nice…" Peeta shakes his head. I sigh. My poor husband. It really is true; no good deed goes unpunished. I'm not sure who said it but it's so accurate. He really is too kind-hearted for this. Paylor had already been a commander and a leader in 8. Peeta won the Games, but as I once said, nobody decent wins the Games.

I reach out to massage his shoulders and he sighs deeply.

"OK, what do I need to do?"

"Have Cressida issue an apology and make sure it is on every Holo, not just District 1. Make it look like it was an honest mistake and that it was meant for everyone." Peeta frowns.

"That would make it look like it is Cressida's fault," I say carefully.

"Cressida is allowed to make mistakes. Peeta isn't." Peeta looks up at me, biting his lip.

"If you think that is the best thing to do, Haymitch…" He doesn't look away from me and I know he is waiting for me to say something. But what else is there to say? Haymitch is older…is he wiser? Well, not really but he's survived the Capitol all these years and he definitely knows how to talk to people. How to please people. How else would he have kept us alive in the Games?

"Ok," Peeta sighs before he goes to the phone. I wrap my arms around his waist while he makes the call, so he knows I'm here for him no matter what he does.

Cressida is completely understanding, as I imagined she would be. Peeta holds the phone between us and he sounds miserable.

"Don't worry about it, Peeta. It could very well have been my mistake! And I think it's a very nice thing you did for 1, but Haymitch is right, the rest of Panem deserves the same. You have to understand now, you can't show favorites and you have to treat everyone the same. Plenty of people got upset that you refused to move to the Capitol but I think most people understood why you made that decision. You just have to be careful. Any mistake you make, and yes you will make them, is going to be magnified tenfold," she takes a deep breath and Peeta and I exchange worried glances.

"I'm almost sorry this happened to you. I think you're a great leader, Peeta, but you and Katniss have been through so much…I wish you could just live a normal life for once." We don't say anything to that. What could we say, when we wish for the exact same thing? Peeta thanks her and hangs up and trudges from the room. Rye starts nagging Haymitch to pick him up so I follow Peeta into the living room. Willow is still upstairs, probably coloring, and Peeta sits on the edge of the couch, his face buried in his hands. I sit beside him and reach out to rub his back.

"Peeta-" He leans over and rests his head on my shoulder, his own shoulders shaking.

"I don't think I can do this, Katniss. I thought I could, but…I know I'm going to anger someone important. And what happens when I do that? They're going to target you and the kids. And I won't let that happen."

"Peeta. I told you that your family supports you. We love you and we will do anything for you."

"Look at what just happened! A simple Christmas message exploded into angry citizens. When all I was trying to do was be nice. I honestly don't know if I can do this job after all."

"You have to find a way to do it," I tell him firmly. "Your country needs you. What will happen to Panem if you step down? Someone far worse than Ballytynn or Snow could be just waiting for their chance and will tear the country apart as soon as they can." He sighs into my neck and I feel his lashes tickle my skin as he blinks.

"You really believe in me that much?"

"You know I do," I cup his chin and kiss him softly. He rests his forehead against mine and our fingers wrap around each other's.

"I need to get back in case Effie calls," Haymitch enters the living room with Rye wrapped around his legs. "I told her to call me when she arrives. Someone want to take this little barnacle?" Peeta grins and reaches for our son, bringing him into our laps.

"Thanks for coming Haymitch."

"No problem, kid. Remember what Cressida said. You're going to make mistakes but they are going to be blown up, so just be careful what they are. You have family when you need us." He smiles at both of us, tousels Rye's hair, and leaves. Peeta sets Rye down and our son scampers off to play with his blocks, which he's become obsessed with.

"I just don't want anything to happen to you," he says softly beside me. My eyes fly over to him and he is staring at our son.

"There's a monster inside me, Katniss. I don't know if it's always been there or if it's from the hijacking. But if something happens to you, I'll be so…I'll be overtaken by rage and I won't even recognize myself. That man who… bought you at Willow's birthday ball? I would have had him executed. I'm serious, I don't care who he was or how important he was, he would have died under my rule. And that scares the hell out of me. To actually say that and MEAN it. They changed me, Katniss. And that's the one thing I hoped wouldn't happen." I swallow at his words. I remember that night in the Tribute Center, the first actual conversation I had with Peeta Mellark, the first time I looked at him and really saw him.

"I don't know how to say it exactly. Only... I want to die as myself. I don't want them to change me in there. Turn me into some kind of monster that I'm not. I keep wishing I could think of a way to...to show the Capitol that they don't own me. That I'm more than just a piece in their Games."

"You showed them, Peeta," I say softly and he looks at me with a bemused expression. I take his face in my hands and kiss him hard on the mouth. He studies me, looking surprised and baffled.

"You showed them that they didn't own you. You're not a piece in their Games. You want to know why? Because you made a difference. You changed Panem for the better. You continue to do good by this country. You didn't lose yourself, you didn't let them win. It seemed like they would and you proved them wrong. You fought with everything you had to stay as you always had been - kind, compassionate, just, and gentle. After everything you have been through, every way they tried to change you, you are still you, Peeta Mellark. No one has changed you." He stares at me for the longest time before his face breaks into a gentle smile.

"And who said you never have the right words to say?"

"I learned from the best," I shrug. He kisses my forehead and pulls me down to rest my head in his lap. We watch our son play while he plays with my hair. Willow comes down not long after and insists her brother help her bake with her new oven. Guess I know what my daughter will be doing when she grows up. I glance up at Peeta and see him grinning.

"She's not allowed near that oven until she's at least 10, Peeta."

"8?"

"9 ½." He sighs.

"Deal." I scoff and shake my head and he leans down to kiss my cheek.

"Hey," he says softly, nuzzling my ear. "How are you feeling this morning?" I look back up at him and see worry etched into his face.

"I feel fine…why wouldn't I?"

"I just meant…well, you never said last night if you were ok and I guess I was um, kind of worried that I may have…you know, hurt you last night."

"Peeta," I say softly. "You should know by now if I don't like something, I'll stop it. I loved last night. It was wonderful and you made me feel beautiful and incredible." I see him blush and I lean up to kiss his nose.

"You're sure you're not sore or anything like that?"

"It hurt just a little but I've had worse pain than that. I'm fine, Peeta. It was great. I hope you enjoyed yourself though." He lets out a hollow laugh.

"Katniss I can't begin to express how much I enjoyed it."

"Well don't try. Our daughter is listening closely." He falls silent and I rest my head in his lap again.

While our children play, Peeta goes to make us some breakfast and I lower myself into the floor to watch them. Both of them have Peeta's sweet smile, and Willow's eyes have gotten even bluer. She's also perfected my scowl and I'm saddened to say she doesn't have a lot of patience with her brother. I wish I could remember how Prim and I acted at that age but I know I was fiercely protective, as my daughter is.

"Breakfast," my husband calls from the kitchen and I take my childrens' hands and lead them to the table. Peeta sets down plates of crepes and fruit and kisses each of us on the head. I sigh at the simplicity of it all. Just a casual morning enjoying breakfast with my family. And to think, I shyed away from this sort of life. Now, I can't imagine my life any other way.


Johanna and George bring the kids by once more before they head back home. We watch as poor Aran tries to get Willow's attention but she seems to be having none of it. She tosses her braids and sighs.

"Aran, let me make you some cake so you feel better." Peeta bursts into laughter and the adults all chuckle lightly.

While George makes sure Anna and Brody are packed, Johanna pulls me into the hall.

"Did you and Peeta have a nice time last night?" Her eyes are sparkling with mischief.

"I'm not telling you anything, Jo."

"Come ON, I need some details! Did you at least enjoy it?"

"It was nice," I say with a shrug. Her eyes narrow.

"You sure he did it right? I would never use the word 'nice' to describe that."

"Johanna, I'm not doing this with you. My sex life is not gossip. We're not in the Capitol." She looks like she is about to protest but her expression becomes softer, more gentle.

"You're right," she says, squeezing my arms. "You're absolutely right. I'm glad you two enjoyed yourselves. Come visit us soon, ok? Maybe you can come by for dinner during your Tour."

"We would love that." She kisses my cheek and goes back to her family. I watch her hug my son and my daughter and then kiss Peeta' cheek. She whispers something in his ear and his eyes widen and he shakes his head.

"Let's go before you make the boy blush again," George says laughingly as he shakes Peeta's hand. Aran looks miserable as he tries to give Willow a hug goodbye. Poor little guy. We follow them out on the porch and wave goodbye.

"Ah the pain of young love," Peeta says as he wraps his arms around my waist and rests his chin on my shoulder.

"Young love? He's seven years old." He shrugs.

"When you know, you know. I knew at five, remember?" I'm always uncomfortable when he talks about how he fell in love with me when we were kids. It just reminds me all over that I didn't return his affections until we were almost adults. Peeta's an expert at unrequited love, and I feel like I can't show him enough now, to make up for it.

I feel his fingertip on my brow and then his lips.

"Stop thinking so much. You're getting wrinkles."

"Well you're getting gray hairs!"

"You're giving them to me." I stick my tongue out at him and he gently bites it, before closing his mouth around mine and sucking it into his. Good thing our children are back inside, or we would never hear the end of it from Willow. He starts to follow them in and I hold him back. He turns to me curiously and I take both his hands in mine.

"I don't know if things would have been different…if we had talked to each other when we were kids. And I try not to think about it, because we always tell each other no 'what-ifs'. But I want you to know…I chose you for YOU. Not because…I just needed someone. Or because I was stuck with you. I chose you for your heart and your smile and your gentleness and your blue eyes and…Peeta, I love you for you. And I hope you know that." When he smiles like he's doing now, I swear the world could be crumbling around me and I wouldn't care. I always want to see him smiling like that.

"What makes you so sappy this morning, Mrs. Mellark?"

"I don't know but I'll stop." He kisses me quickly and leans me back against the wall.

"Don't," he whispers. "I love hearing things like that come out of your mouth. But for the record, yes, I know you love me. And I love you. Now let's get inside before Haymitch comes out and tells us to get a room."

"Would you two get a room for crying out loud," comes his irritated voice from across the lawn. I whip around to yell at him and Peeta takes my face in his hands, turns me back to him, and kisses me. I feel lighter than air as his lips brush against mine and I shrug everything off and follow him inside the house without casting Haymitch a second glance.


The whole thing with the Christmas message blows over very quickly. I know it bothered Peeta that we had to make it seem like it was Cressida's fault but Panem was very forgiving when they learned that the president had not forgotten them after all. We saw the message on the holo and then a brief message from Cressida, apologizing for her mistake. Peeta sighs and flicks it off before leaning forward and resting his face in his palms.

12 gets three more snowstorms before spring officially comes! Peeta's had to apologize to the country twice, and says he has to push back his tour due to inclement weather.


I'm trying to tug Rye out of the bakery when the door opens and I nearly crash into something sold.

I hear a delicate gasp and look up into wide blue eyes.

"Katniss."

"Excuse us, Delly, we were just-"

"Umm…perhaps you could stay for just a moment?" She holds up an envelope and bites her lip. "Brent asked me to bring some papers over to Peeta and I don't want…I mean, it might be better if you were there with us." I suddenly feel like the extremely jealous wife so keeps her husband on a tight leash. But don't I have a right to feel angry and possessive? Especially when SHE's around? I sigh and nod.

"Ok, sure." She gives a weak smile and I let her pass by.

"Hey Rory, can you ask Peeta to step out here for a moment," I call. Rory's eyes flash between Delly and me and he nods. A moment later, Peeta emerges from the kitchen and his eyes widen in surprise.

"Is there something I can do for you, Delly?"

"Brent was caught up at the office and asked me to bring you these papers to sign. I asked Katniss to stay." His eyes rest on me and they soften.

"Let's sit over here," he leads us to one of the empty tables and he scoops Rye up, bouncing him on his lap. Delly clears her throat and opens the envelope; I notice her hands are trembling. I watch Peeta's eyes flicker to her shaking hands and I sigh.

"I think I'll let you two talk alone," I say as I stand. Delly looks terrified and Peeta looks wary.

"Katniss-"

"It's ok. I trust you. Both of you," I add and see Delly's eyes get very watery. I need to get out of here before we make any kind of scene. Peeta rises with me and gives me a chaste kiss on the lips. It's not possessive or a kind of public display of affection, but it's enough of a gesture to say he is mine and I am his. Staring down at the girl who has known my husband longer than I have, I'm not so jealous anymore. I'm saddened that it has come to this. This is the girl who defended me in 13, when he screamed and raged that I was a Capitol mutt. She helped him a lot when I couldn't. It's exhausting, holding a grudge, but with my hormones aligned again, I realize that Peeta could never hurt me like that. Even after I hurt him, he never looked at another woman.

I give them both a smile and take my son from his father. Peeta grins and plays with Rye's curls.

"I'll be home in just a bit, little guy."

"Bye Delly."

"Bye Katniss," she chokes out. I glance back to see Peeta handing her a tissue and taking the papers to read. Smiling to myself, I head back home.

I'm proud of myself for how much I've grown up. Prim WOULD be proud of me.


Strangely enough, it's April when the snow has finally melted and it's warmed up. Right around Prim's birthday.

And Reaping Day.