In Shadow

Chapter 51

Into the Heart of Evil

Rumplestiltskin stoked the fire until the blaze roared in the grate. It was hot; too hot for the weather outside, but it was necessary. He'd never been the kind of sorcerer who lit candles and chanted, he was more the fire and brimstone type. He knew he had the rudimentary knowledge to send his consciousness into a trance that would allow him access to the dark curse that plagued this town, however, in order to face that curse, to allow it to touch his soul, without the power of the Dark One to shelter him ...it was dangerous at best. At worse, the bond he had created between himself and Belle; the bond that clearly tethered their lives together, whether they knew one another or not, would kill her if he died. He had never regretted that night ...until today. He knew she would prefer they die together given the choice, but he couldn't bear the thought. If he was to die, he would only be satisfied if he knew she still lived. That was unlikely because of him. It was the idea that she would no longer be alive somewhere in the realms that forced his hand. He knew what he had to do. He didn't want it anymore, but to protect his Belle, he would do it anyway. It was strange, the reluctance he felt. He'd always assumed he would jump if given the chance, but he now realized he liked his life the way it was.

He sat down, staring into the fire. He knew of only one way to ensure he, Belle and their daughter came out of this alive and it was not the best choice in his world. He'd become accustomed to living without power and dark magic flooding his body. He was used to the sensation of being 'normal.' And where once he might have given almost anything to have his power returned to him, he found himself surprisingly unwilling. Damn it all, he'd been perfectly happy until Emma Swan had decided to join them.

Germaine came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Whatever it is you're going to do, Rumplestiltskin. Do it soon."

He nodded, waved the alchemist away, and closed his eyes, allowing the heat from the fire to swarm around him. He could vaguely hear the crackling as sweat beaded on his forehead. The heat made his head swim and he went from a state of almost consciousness to a meditative state very much like astral projection in the space of a heartbeat. He knew he was in danger like this. Anything powerful enough could take over his body, but there was one entity, or ...power rather, that should be drawn to the shell he'd left sitting there. Something that had called him home for centuries. He couldn't wait forever, his physical body would overheat and Germaine knew to pull him out of the room if it looked like he was in real danger of actual death. Through a haze of heat he could see that he'd stopped sweating and his face had drained of color. He was on the verge of heat stroke and Germaine hovered nearby with wet towels. He knew the man was just on the edge of covering him in cold water and implored him to wait …just a few moments more.

It was a sensation both familiar and nauseating. The power had been out in empty space, searching for it's home, for a very long time. He could feel it pressing closer, seeking the source of the siren call that had gone out when he'd left his body. It came closer, assessing the situation, seeing that he was incapable of preventing it from taking control of him. Just as Germaine moved to pull him out of the room, the power struck. It flooded into him. His body bucked, throwing him backwards. He landed hard on the floor. He saw his head crack against the tile and winced. That was going to hurt in the morning. The power ripped through him, and as he tried to reclaim his body, it attempted to push him away. Rumplestiltskin pulled all the power inside himself and tamped it down as he had done for so many years before now and forced his consciousness back into his body. It hurt. It hurt more that he could begin to express and as the guttural scream left his lips, Germaine sprang in to action, pulling him from the room, into his bedroom and laying him down. He had blood streaming out of his ears, from the back of his head and seeping from his eyes. It was not a pretty sight ...but then ...becoming the Dark One never had been.

He wondered if the magic of the curse that made items conform to this realm would prevent him from changing back in to the creature he'd been before. He felt water at his lips and opened his mouth, drinking greedily. Several minutes later he tried to sit up. His head swam, his stomach roiled and he vomited until it felt like his head was going to burst. Germaine put a wet towel in his hand and he gently wiped away bile and blood, letting his body retch as it tried to adjust to all the dark magic that had just taken up residence inside him. For some reason he had believed this time would be easier. He'd been through it before. But honestly, it seemed somehow worse. While his motives were still basically the same; protect someone he loved, it would seem that knowing was, in this case, worse than being innocent. The first time he'd taken on all this power, he'd lay on the ground, writhing in pain for ...he knew not how long, but by the time he'd come back to himself the sun had risen and the soldiers had been at his home. He remembered vividly being able to see what was happening, as if a window had opened in his mind. This time was no different, except that the darkness remembered Belle very clearly. The darkness inside his soul looked on her and saw a lover, a wife, a vessel ...a woman who held it's child. He shook himself. No. That was his baby, his daughter. The Dark One had no hold over her.

When he was finally able to raise his head and open his eyes, Germaine was shaking his head. He tried to say 'what' and found he couldn't speak at all. The other man seemed to understand. "That was the bravest thing I've ever seen." Rumplestiltskin simply nodded. It wasn't bravery that made him seduce dark magic into his body ...it was fear. Fear of losing Belle. Fear of losing his daughter. Why was it that he was always afraid of something? He had spent the last 28 years fearing nothing and no one ...well, that wasn't strictly true was it? He had been afraid of the most important thing and waited too long to ask Belle out on a date. He had been so sure that her interest in him was casual that he'd allowed almost three decades to get past him.

"What do I look like?" He supposed it was an important question. It was the first one that managed to slip out.

Germaine looked confused. "I don't understand." The alchemist held out a hand and while the Dark One truly wanted to slap it away, he pushed those feelings down and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet.

Rumplestiltskin stumbled into the bathroom and stared into the mirror. He felt first shock, then relief flood through him. The magic of the curse was strong. It had not allowed for his appearance to be changed. Which was a good thing given that Belle might have had a nervous break down if she saw the actual visage of the Dark One when she came in to his house in ...crap ...he had no idea what time it was. He looked at Germaine. "How long ..."

The man was hovering just outside the bathroom door. "Nearly five. You've been lying there thrashing about for several hours."

"Damn. Damn. Belle ...Rose will be here at six. I have to go back."

Germaine stared at him like he'd lost his mind. "Back? Into the magic? Are you insane? You nearly died today, Rumplestiltskin. Perhaps you can call your wife and put this off."

The newly emerged Dark One shook his head. "I have to get her memories. There's more to it than simply learning the books. Way more. So very much more." The desire for her now was almost overwhelming. If he could make it through dinner without ravishing her it would be a miracle. He looked at the man who was still standing in his bedroom. "I really appreciate your help Germaine, but she'll be here soon and I promised her dinner."

"You want me to go fetch you a dinner?" The alchemist looked insulted.

Gold nodded. "For two ...and hurry." He shoved bills in his hand and with a sigh, Germaine left the house. Rumplestiltskin sat down on his bed and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to calm the sensations in his body. This part he remembered clearly. Overwhelming power along with a feeling of invincibility and the knowledge that he was, in fact, immortal.

He could feel the curse all around him and reached for it with his mind, calling to it gently with his own darkness, pulling it closer until he could grasp it, examine it, find the loophole he had created that allowed for him to remember and insert Belle's name as he had always intended. The curse fought against him as he tried to press his wife's name into it. Tried to get away from him, but he ...it's creator, was someone it could not escape. It shifted, tried to slide away, turned to smoke, slithered through his fingers ...he cursed. It was like trying to hold water in his hands. It seemed to take forever.

He centered his mind on Belle, saw her clearly in his mind. She was sitting on her bed obviously in the middle of dressing for their date. He saw her soft chestnut hair sliding through his fingers, her body pressed to his, feeling her around him and knowing they belonged together. Those stunning, translucent blue eyes that had captured his heart even when she'd been a child. He let the sensations fill him, reached out with the magic and touched her, knew that she gasped as invisible fingers slid along her arms, through her hair, over her breasts. Saw her mouth drop open as he touched parts of her that should not be accessible to hands at all. He could feel her body pulsing around him, saw her touching herself in his mind and groaned, letting those hands stoke the flames inside of him until they raged and burned. His own hands slipped inside his pants and stroked, touched, pulled. He could see Belle in his mind's eye doing the same. Some unseen force pushing her to press into her center, slip a finger inside herself and cry out as an intense orgasm hovered just out of their reach. He heard her whisper his name and his body screamed for release.

In that moment, when their combined pleasure was at its peak and he could clearly see himself selfishly shoving his way into her body, could feel her hands grasping his ass and pulling him ever closer, as the world shattered around them, he pushed her name into the curse and this time, it gave, allowed itself to be embedded with her memory. He groaned as he exploded, stroking himself harder, faster, his breathing labored as he saw Belle cry out. She shuddered and he gasped, thrusting up as if she were there, straddling him. He thrust into her body over and over until he was spent, until the sensations ebbed enough that he could pull his hand away from himself. He was breathing as hard as if she'd actually been there and felt her combination of relief that the feelings were momentarily sated and agitation that she still wanted him ...desperately. He could completely identify. He wondered for a blissful moment whether they would ever make it to the table at all.

Gold sat up when he heard Germaine's voice in the front room and cursed when he realized what a mess he was. It had not been his intention to ...well, anyway, it was done and Belle would remember as soon as she met Emma Swan, but for the moment, they were still nearly strangers who wanted to make love with a desperation that was overwhelming. He knew he didn't have the patience to wait for her memories ...knowing that she would remember would have to be enough.

He went in to the bathroom to clean up and when he came out he could smell food in the dining room. He padded in bare feet, jeans and a shirt that was hanging open, into the next room and found a lovely scene. Candles flickered on the table, food was laid out in dishes he hadn't realized he possessed. It was set for two and Germaine was gone. He would have to remember to thank him. There was a tentative knock on the door and his mind went blank.

Belle had arrived, and without thinking he went and opened the door for her. There was a audible gasp as her eyes raked over his body. He felt himself harden instantly under her intense gaze. Gold swallowed. "Come in."

She stepped inside and closed the door. The look in her eyes said everything. They were never going to make it to the dining room. They might not make it out of this room.