(7/2/2017) I realized while I was writing this chapter that it's been a long time since I wrote this kind of chapter. I'm rusty.
Thank you RHatch89, thedarkpokemaster, IoSolUno, Sage of Wind Dragons, missmeow1968, and philly cheese dude for the reviews! And all you favoriters and followers get kittens!
(Text conversation between Dean Winchester and Buffy Summers)
DEAN: Hey
BUFFY: Hey hey
DEAN: Listen Sam decided he's not using his powers anymore
BUFFY: Really
DEAN: Had a whole thing with a rugaru. Cannibal monster. Guess it changed his mind. So maybe give him some slack?
BUFFY: I'll think about it
DEAN: When are you two going to talk about what happened while I was gone
BUFFY: Why should we? He knows what he did
DEAN: Yeah but I don't
BUFFY: Then ask him
DEAN: Already did and he's not talking
BUFFY: I'll think about it
DEAN: Don't strain yourself
BUFFY: Butthead
DEAN: Midget. Hey, did you guys get your tattoos
BUFFY: Yes
DEAN: Prove it
BUFFY: (picture between her shoulder blades with anti-possession tattoo) Happy?
DEAN: What about the rest of you?
BUFFY: (picture of Joyce's ankle)
BUFFY: (picture of middle of Willow's back) Only place she figured her mom wouldn't notice
BUFFY: (picture of Cordelia's right shoulder blade)
BUFFY: (picture of Giles' arm)
BUFFY: (picture of Xander's left buttocks)
DEAN: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE
DATE: October 12, 2007TO: (undisclosed recipients)FROM: TrickyBlackVampSUBJECT: Slayerfest '07!
To all you fellow homicidal maniacs,
WELCOME TO SLAYERFEST 2007! As you may or may not know, due to unnatural circumstances there are now two, count'em, TWO Slayers now in existence. Well this just isn't how the world is supposed to go. With great enthusiasm I now ask you and yours to join me in the hunt of a lifetime!
Now this ain't a normal event. This here requires a buy-in of no less than $50,000 in dollars, gold, or jewels (no foreign currency, please). Whosoever eliminates both our little Slayer girls will win THE ENTIRE POT of money, so the more participants the better! Those who kill one with only receive half.
Again, I welcome you to join us in SLAYERFEST '07 right here on Hellmouth central, Sunnydale, CA. Please reply to this email with your confirmation no later than October 16.
TRICK
(Poster on varying locations within Sunnydale High School)
SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL HOMECOMING DANCE
DATE: October 19, 2007LOCATION: The Bronze
Cast your vote for Homecoming King and Queen!
QUEEN CANDIDATES:Michelle BlakeHolly CharlestonCordelia ChaseBuffy Summers
KING CANDIDATES:Larry BlaisdellLance BrooksMitch FargoJonathan Levinson
GO RAZORBACKS!
(Excerpt from Rupert Giles' Watcher diairies)
…Buffy having family who are hunters has been a trial, to say the least. Compounding this is the fact that Heaven and Hell have evidently taken a heavy interest in both men. Their investiture is so great that the eldest was rescued from the Pit in order to complete some enigmatic duty.
I grow more and more apprehensive regarding these angels. We have known for centuries what demons are capable of and what the consequences are of dealing with them. These angels are a conundrum, one that I worry we shall never understand. I just hope we may unravel some of their way of thinking so that they may call us allies and not enemies.
Yesterday, Buffy's younger brother emailed to inform me regarding the ancient demon, Samhain. Apparently the thing rose and terrified a small town at the behest of a pair of witches. I am uncertain what I find more disturbing: the rising of Samhain being one of the seals on Lucifer's Cage or the fact that the angels wanted to preemptively obliterate the population in order to keep the seal from being broken. Is this how they do things? Are they so nonchalant regarding human life that they would sacrifice a thousand for the mere chance of success? Is all the mythology regarding angels wrong?
Speaking of Samhain, there are some interesting pieces of lore that were brought to my attention. For instance…
Conner Beverly Behavioral Medicine Center
PSYCHIATRIC ADMITTANCE FORM
PATIENT NAME: Anna MiltonDOB: 12/12/1985GUARDIAN(S): Richard and Amy Milton
DATE OF ADMISSION: 11/5/2007MODE OF ADMITTANCE: Transfer from Corrections Center of NW Ohio
ADMITTANCE DIAGNOSES: Late onset schizophrenia
REASONS FOR ADMISSION:
The patient was incarcerated following an altercation with four male adults. The patient refused to calm herself after claiming that "Lucifer's arrival" was imminent. The patient claims to hear angels speak. The patient has mentioned the names Sam and Dean, antagonist and protagonist respectively. Follow up interviews with guardians regarding past relationships must be conducted.
HISTORY:
Childhood incident at approximately 7 years old. The patient believed her father was false and that her true father was inclined towards filicide. Follow up interview regarding mother infidelity must be conducted.
Father is a church deacon. Occupation may have spawned current obsession with demons and angels.
PROCEDURES AND TREATMENT: Individual therapy. Psychopharmacologic management.
NOTE: Patient is not to be allowed free access to the grounds until it has been verified that she no longer represents a threat to herself or others.
November 2007
(Text conversation between Buffy Summers and Jo Harvelle)
BUFFY: Jo!!!
JO: Buffy!!!! Long time no text! What is going on, girlfriend?
BUFFY: The usual. Apocalypse, vampires, demons, werewolves
JO: Sounds like heaven
BUFFY: Dunno. The angel won't tell us
JO: We talking about Angelus Angel?
BUFFY: No, an actual angel
JO: Wait what
BUFFY: His name is Castiel. We call him Cass. He wears a suit and a coat
JO: You have got to send me a picture as soon as you can
BUFFY: Next time he randomly drops into my bedroom I'll do that
JO: Do I want to know?
BUFFY: Meh, not important. I wanted to ask: have you ever held a really really really important secret?
JO: Not really. I mean, maybe I tried a smoke or two back in high school but that's it
BUFFY: Oh
JO: Now you need to spill
BUFFY: Angel, the actual Angel, came back from Hell and I haven't told anyone
JO: And what about his soul?
BUFFY: Clean as a whistle. Which doesn't make much sense because whistles have got to be dirty
JO: Yeah well not like he's bad or anything now but I think I'll be staying away from Sunnydale for a while
BUFFY: Totally understand. But I don't know what to do
JO: Hey remember how flipped your mom got about the Slayer thing? Longer you hold this back worse it's going to be
BUFFY: I know, I know. If everyone disowns me again can I come live with you?
JO: Your makeup smeared pillowcase will be waiting for you!
BUFFY: Thanks Jo! And if you see Sam or Dean tell them I said hi
JO: DEAN'S ALIVE? ? ? ? ? ?
(Phone call from Dean Winchester to Buffy Summers)
DEAN: (slurred) Hey, baby. What're you wearing?
BUFFY: What?
DEAN: You still got that lacy thing? 'Cuz I'm in the neighborhood and—
BUFFY: Dean! This is Buffy. Your sister.
DEAN: (thumps and scrapes) Oh, shit. Shit shit shit. Meant to call Bunny.
BUFFY: You know someone named Bunny?
DEAN: Stripper. Dunno if that was her real name. (repeated swallowing)
BUFFY: Are you… Are you drunk? Are you drinking booze while you're on the phone?
DEAN: Yup!
BUFFY: Well don't drunk dial me!
DEAN: (blows raspberry) You're bossy. And short. Hey, did you know on Thursdays I'm a teddy bear doctor?
BUFFY: What?
DEAN: You know, teddy bears! Big, glassy eyed fucks, all depressed and shit.
BUFFY: Again… what?
SAM: (in the background) Dean, what're you… Give me that.
DEAN: No! Mine! (sounds of a scuffle, glass breaking) Hey! You're going out and getting me another bottle, dickhead.
SAM: (exasperated sigh) Yeah, yeah. (into the phone) Buff', we're coming into town for Thanksgiving if that's okay. We're up in Washington and it'll be a quick ride down.
BUFFY: Sure. We'll make with the family food comas. Can you make sure Dean doesn't pickle his liver before you guys get here?
SAM: I'll try. (to Dean) Dude! What're you—
DEAN: (several thumps, then speaking loudly into the phone) I remember Hell. Uriel's a dick and told on me.
BUFFY: Who's Uriel? And wait, what?
DEAN: Hell! I remember it. Every single bit. But I'm not tellin'. And now Sam keeps giving me puppy dog eyes. I don't like dogs. Stinky.
BUFFY: Dean…
DEAN: (singsong tone) See you for tur-key. (call ends)
Author's Note : There's no list that I could find of the actual Homecoming King nominees. Just borrowed some names from the wiki. Also thought Jonathan being nominated would be something a little high school dick would do.
