RECIPROCATED LOVE
CHAPTER 50
CRACKING THE NUT
I don't own Hey Arnold! / Oye Arnold! or any other TM mentioned in here.
I own the OC and the plot.
After this there are only two chapters left: the final chapter and the epilogue. I also want to remind you beforehand that this story is rated M for a reason.
Let's get going...
"Well… the point of this meeting was closing this thing down; leaving this experience behind and hoping for moving on eventually" she cleared her throat to get rid of the sadness of her voice "I've said what I wanted you to know …" she paused to say with stronger voice "I'm deeply sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, I'd never be able to thank you all the good things you brought to my life and... finally ... even when I know I don't deserve it, I wish you'd eventually forgive me for ruining this… but hey!" she laughed bitterly "You'd probably end thinking 'good riddance, I couldn't have done it any better on my own' … right? … but you know …"
"Just shut up, for heaven sake!" he spat hatefully "Don't you dare to put your words in my mouth! You don't know me at all, so don't come saying you know me, my feelings and what's in my head…"
"What's in your head, then?" Helga didn't flinched "Do you really think I don't know you? Just look at you! That pretty head is full of plans, projects, schemes … you're a man with a cold head and a big job, James. You'll be alright. In fact, I assume that you're doing already fine if your success tonight is a proof. These last weeks surely helped you to realize the big and unnecessary mistake you had put yourself into. I think your immediate reaction was completely understandable. Of course, I know it had to hurt to be in that position. The fact that a silly brat had cheated on you must have been a blow hard to take -mainly to that big pride of yours- but as I assured you before, for my part the thing won't run around. I told people that you've wanted to marry and I wasn't ready yet. It's a good excuse, people take it easily and with the news of your engagement…"
"How simple, right?" he said dryly. "So everything is already settled?"
"Is there something else you want to add?"
"You just said I'm already okay, didn't you?" James didn't even try this time to keep his cool, he was frenzied, throwing his arms out frantically and his face was rabid "You've just spoken for me. What did you left for me to say, huh? Now I just have to swallow my rage, my wish for revenge, my wish to beat the face of that son of a bitch?"
"Well, I'm here now. This is the moment to say whatever you want to say" Helga didn't recoil at his belligerence.
"You're not the one I need to beat"
"Why not?" she walked towards him but stopped at good distance "I was the one who betrayed you, not Arnold; he wasn't in a relation with you. He owed you nothing"
"I can't believe you are still protecting him" he jeered.
"I'm not protecting him. I'm only making clear that I was the one who failed here. I'm the one that should receive your wrath... It's like Judy's - who took it after me when you were the one who hurt her."
"Judy has nothing to do with it. I'm not in a relationship with her, neither had been in years. She made a mistake and she's gonna pay for it ..."
"Come on, the girl's just fighting for what she consider hers! She is even working hard at your side. You're not gonna punish her for that mistake, are you?" his face contorted with disgust.
"You really can't repress that mouth, can you? You don't even know the half of it!" then exhaled exasperated, picking the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index "Judy and I were together for about a year, back in college, I mean in Yale. Do you have any idea how long ago was that?" he chuckled, shaking his head; "Exactly." Then ongoing in the same boisterous way he added "Now, I don't know why you girls held such long-lasting crushes but I cannot work that way. Whatever her feelings were, they're out of question here. She didn't expose them on time or in the proper way. Besides from the beginning it was clear she was here working; she was hired with fully awareness of that tinny fact. It was written down with bold letters in her contract, just besides loyalty.
"Now, it results that she chose to ignore those clauses." He scoffed "Well, if you aren't loyal, you're out! There's no trust anymore. She's not longer in the team and that has nothing to do with you -but –with- my- work. Is that clear?" he exhaled long "Now, regarding your lover… I don't understand your need of defending him and lately I don't care, neither I care about how you'd manage to get involved with him again but even when …"
"I'm not!"
James made an exasperated gesture with his hand to silence her.
"… I'm not gonna pursuit a revenge against him but if he ever crosses my path again, he's gonna regret it. Understand? Go to warn him if you want. Now, you -hell of a girl -listen up- and- listen well…" he made a pause that charged the air in an incredible way "You put me through a fucking hell!" he hissed "You're nobody here to even dream accomplishing something like that. I let you become close and you betrayed my trust. You made a fool of me, you Helga Pataki! The only one girl I ever thought to marry. The only girl I ever respected because I really wanted to do things properly. You were going to be the last girl I'd ever woo and I was willing to give you a right courtship; I was relishing every single step in our relationship; every goofy outing; every foolish session on the couch! Those are the answers you should've looked for and not your dirty suppositions about some physic inability or an old paralyzing guilty feeling!"
"I've never…"
"I listened to all your stupid rant, didn't I? Then allow me to end mine!" he stomped towards her a bit. In the semidarkness of the room, Helga could see his face knotted by anger and that the dark eyes held a strange glimmering "I really liked you. Despite knowing you had that emotional attachment I really liked you. I thought you were over it or at least, that you were capable of keeping it at bay in order to get something better. -Think whatever you want of my arrogance, I don't give a damn-. I know you since you were a child and I always assumed you were a smart, practical girl; but guess I was wrong seeing how you couldn't keep yourself from that crap of true love and romantic fantasies." James started to walk up and down in his spot. When he talked again his voice wasn't that angry.
"But in other hand, I'm aware that you're not responsible for the fact that I might have appeared too early in your life. You're 21 and an engagement was probably too much for you to manage. That awareness for my part does not exculpate you from the fact that you betrayed me; nor that fucking dickhead for messing with what wasn't his!" he looked at her now condescending. "Have you realized that that asshole only wanted you when saw you lost, never before? It'd be good to keep that in mind before you two start giving each other goofy looks."
"I'm over him now" Helga mumbled to herself. His rant still echoed in her mind while he was stalling, taking his time before going on… she breathed. He'd said what he wanted her to know, concise and cold, just as himself -James the politician.
He, however, let see his inner passionate being; that other side of him that she was familiar with and used to be kind and a teaser and now she was longing, now he was lost … the pain in her chest became sharply acute that instant.
"Whatever" he huffed unenthusiastically "Now, if there isn't anything else to add, I guess here is where we part ways." Helga wondered if she'd heard a slight wavering in his voice, but of course she discarded it because it was her who wavered after feeling a heavy weight in her guts. That was it, the end.
She supported her hands on the armchair as she got a grip on herself. Her head spun. She observed as he ran his hands through his hair in that fashion of him that showed his irritation; and then rested them in his waist, pushing back his jacket and showing off his fitting faint lavender shirt.
Damn fragile veil - damn iron curtain – that keep his warmness –mercilessly away - from my yearning hands…
"I've spoken my mind and I'm ready to get over this. I thank you the decency of give back a family jewel. I have to warn you about Edward, though. He's out of your reach even if he's the one who looks for you, understand?" His voice was then full with disrespect "and lastly … despite what politeness dictates, unfortunately I can't tell it has been a pleasure dealing …"
"I still have something else to say" her unsteady voice cut him off.
He snorted, turning all his body to see her with an unreadable expression.
She walked slowly towards him, still standing some good ten feet away. Holding the purse she had been using as a shield tonight, she opened it as if searching for something when in reality she was just avoiding his eyes as she got close. She didn't want to see his expression because she knew it'd dishearten her.
Her breath was superficial when she finally made a halt in front of him. She knew this time she wouldn't be able to hold her tears back but regarding what she was about to do, it was an insignificance. She blinked before finally turning her eyes up to find his. He had stepped back reflexively at her closeness and had been watching the fumbling of her hands before stare at her.
The eyes she met weren't as hostile as she supposed they'd be. They seemed restrained and had a dark shade of grey discernible despite the dim light. A hint of fear lay in their depths but her mind couldn't process the find. They roamed her face before stopping on hers. She held her breath as a shudder ran through her body. God, how I love him! Then she exhaled through her mouth and tried to talk but not a sound came out.
She cleared her throat before start again.
"I … I need … I need to tell you one last thing. Something I didn't write in the letter to not annoy you again like …" she trailed off, lowering her sight "… last time. I also missed talking about it on purpose because I assumed it was something you wouldn't want to know –no, it isn't another sordid detail about … that" she clarified before he'd cut her. She perceived faintly the alcohol in his breath and how his hands become tight fists, however she went on bravely "… but seeing we are now at this point I need to say it" she swallowed a sob "… and I think you should know it."
She stopped to control the sobs and clear her throat again; fixing her sight on his purple and black stripped tie instead of his face. She realized his shirt wasn't actually lavender but blue, but somehow its knit made look like it.
"I actually know why I fell out of that lifelong infatuation so easily and why my accomplishment at finally getting him means nothing to me now …" she stopped when she realized he'd leaned slightly back; then went on unhurriedly.
"Probably you'd think that the value of my love is meager; that is worthless as it seemed to think my parents and Arnold for so long. Maybe it's because I was precisely meager to say it out proudly but, you know? … I always feared rejection …" her eyes burnt with the collected tears. After a deep inhalation she went on in a whisper "… Always thought it was hard to say 'I love you', but I've just realized that there's no challenge at all in saying those three little words… but in the agonizing fear of not receiving an 'I love you too' in return."
She let out a sob before she steeled herself to raise her sight to look at him straight in the face. The thick tears blurring her vision finally fell down when she went on.
"I love you, James. I fell for you without realizing until it was too late and now, for once, I'm not afraid of saying it aloud because I know there's nothing lying there for us … I have no hopes … I just wanted you to know it."
There. That was it. She inhaled deeply…
Then retracted slightly and pulled him down by his tie. "I love you" she repeated before kissing him.
Her skin sprang and her ears thumped when her wet salty lips grazed his. Then she moaned, grieving for this beautiful contact knowing it was lost forever. James gave out a shake and then froze. Helga pulled away just in time to see him trembling in an almost scary way and drawing out his arms, readying to push her.
She turned around and ran to the door. Her heart sank to her feet while she fought with the knob as she unlocked it, then threw the door open, fleeing to the stairs.
Why was it locked?
Then, listening his swearing and his rushed steps behind her, she ran down the stairs. She could feel his anger cutting the air; then his hands reaching for her, just about to grasp her arm but she dodged him knowing she'd have a very bad time if he got her. She'd almost made it to the next level when his thunderous voice made the hair of her nape bristle.
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?"
Helga was yanked back by the hair. She cried out, crashing violently against him. His ferocity shocked her. She never thought he could be violent; she never thought he'd be dangerous, ever. All of a sudden, she was frightened. Her mind switched to a surviving mode like when she was a child.
"I'm leaving now, okay?"
"Not before I'm done!" the voice against her head was so crude that she trembled in panic. James held her tightly against him, circling her in steel as his free hand went to grasp her jaw.
Helga felt like in a tunnel, her vision focused on the exit at the end of the hall. She had to escape. Shaking her head violently, she didn't stop fighting to get herself free. She fought wildly, steadily until she got her left arm free. Disregarding it'd hurt, she pulled out the other arm fiercely until it slid off from his grip; then bolted the few steps left, cursing inwardly Miriam and her so called sexy pumps.
She had reached the last step when her arm was grasped again. She planted her feet on the ground, evading this time getting trapped and fought once more against him. She was about to set herself free again when he locked her arms and pushed her roughly to the wall; her forehead throbbed but a bump wasn't her biggest concern. She gulped. She was completely trapped.
"You think only you have something else to say, huh?" he slurred against her nape. Her alarms went off. She was about to cry for help when his hand came to seal her mouth. His heavy breathing was frightening "I wasn't completely honest here either, you know? … Just like you. But have been years on my side…YEARS!" her head quaked with the power of his voice. "You know how it is, right? How hard is to live pretending all the time?" Helga felt his nose nudging through her hair until the base of her nape and then his breath on her neck. "Damn You!" She held her breath and closed her eyes.
"Don't hurt me, please!" she asked against his hand. In her panicked state what she most feared was that things became physical, violently physical.
She couldn't believe this was happening. James's a politic! He was a damn, cold, fucking planner. He was the quintessence of a civilized man…. She breathed hard several times, fearing she'd be beaten to pulp any moment…
But something in his forced breathing and the frantic trembling of the hands that imprisoned her told her to hold on- just for a moment- hold on, hold on. Her mind was in turmoil. If only she could concentrate… focus … focus…
Okay … maybe she was wrong; maybe he was hurt. Maybe it wasn't only his pride what was offended.
And maybe those deeply hurt feelings were working their way out of his tight control, yearning to be exposed.
"I'll listen … okay? ... Sorry…" her voice revealed her fear. James stopped pushing but the heavy breath on her neck still scared her "It's just… I ran because … because … I know I couldn't bear your rejection…" her voice wavered "… more insults..." she gasped "I'm not that strong."
The heavy silence made her know the guys were aware of the crisis.
She breathed agitatedly, waiting warily for his reaction. He embraced her tighter and his breathing seemed to lessen; then she felt his nose moving in slow circling motions against the back of her head and she closed her eyes.
"Do you think I am?" he spoke finally in a whisper. "You almost destroyed me."
Helga held her breath and opened her eyes…. She felt then his lips touching the over sensitive skin in the back of her neck and her body responded with vehemence. She cursed inwardly. She'd slap herself if she could. Was she nuts already? She shut her eyes close, trying to restrain the reaction of her body.
James sucked air deeply before speak again.
"I didn't come to you … and proposed … because I needed to ease my guilt. I'd never marry to ease my guilt… Marriage is a serious business…" he inhaled again, long and deeply, his hands released her wrists and slid slowly along her arms, helping the excited skin. Helga let her breath out, trying to shake her mind off his touch and concentrate...
"I didn't come either to make up for what my father would have done to yours. That's a dirty trick, but that's absolutely not important now." Helga felt his form retract just to stop crushing her, but his breathe was still on her neck, his soft voice in her ear "I'm just a foolish weirdo who walked into the beepers store once again … to tempt my fate … to see if I could take a glimpse of a girl who refused to leave my mind … and who was completely unaware of my torment" he ended in a whisper.
She trembled from hair to toes.
His lips grazed the back of her neck again. Helga gasped, throwing her head back as he kissed the spot behind her ear. She lost her mind completely when he embraced her tightly and dug his teeth into her skin. Her knees finally gave. She felt herself being raised in the air and carried up towards the top of the stairs where he placed her on the floor and made her turn around.
There, he pushed her to the wall and demanded her lips. Whimpering, she carried her arms around his neck. He had a faint tang of whiskey, but thanks God, tasted as deliciously crude as ever. His scent and cologne mixed with his warmness filled her senses and she became weightless.
"God, I missed you!" she sought. When she pulled together some strength, she slid her hands under his jacket and griped his shirt, pulling it out from under his pants. She needed to touch him, right now, in direct, it was like a fever, so when finally touched him she wheezed. Little bumps were spread all over the warm skin of his back and made her feel great.
Still, she let him take control; it couldn't be other way. She knew she couldn't fight against him even if she wanted. James kissed her just as ferociously as the first day; on her bed long ago and in a darkened street under the frond of an old oak tree recently: almost hurting her. His body forced into hers and his hands held her head secure, as if he feared she'd disappear. He kissed her with such urgency that she let him have his way, letting him to do whatever he wanted with her mouth, with her all. Then he raised her up against the wall and she embraced him with her legs. Grunting, he pressed his hips into hers and stopped kissing to speak feverishly, his nose against hers.
"Don't ever do that again, understand? ... I was crazy … I thought I'd kill that bastard!"
James grabbed her jaw to see her as her head shook.
"Never again, I promise." She swore as new tears came down. "I'm so sorry"
He continued observing her intently for some more moments before slid his fingers in her cheek and then his thumb to her lips.
"It's you … God, it's you! I can't believe I almost let you go again." His thumb played with her lower lip, forcing her to open her mouth. "I was so mad at you, so mad. You really damaged me" she was in awe, silently contemplating the beautiful man before her "You are my drug, didn't you realize it? I want you … only you… only you…" He mumbled as for himself "If you hadn't kissed me I'd be lost now … God!" James embraced her tightly "I'm mad, I'm mad about you, Helga Pataki, as mad as I never thought I could be." The voice against her hair turned dejected "… and you didn't have idea, right? You didn't even remember me."
"James …"
"No, I know you don't. I was just a forgotten memory, a surreal memory … you in change, have haunted me for years."
"James…"
"Let me say it, I need to say it. You don't have idea how I fought this feeling; how I denied it for so long, because it was born from a reckless act, from my most primitive self …"James looked into her eyes "… but it was there … always there -so tiny, so resilient – but then I came … looking for you… almost chasing after you … and I had no peace anymore. It was so hard to pretend I was just having a good time when I wanted you so badly … this feeling was burning me alive" James pushed her again and hid his face in her neck, taking a whiff of her.
Helga rendered speechless. She searched his face, he wasn't smiling. His expression was resolute and his brows were furrowed. His eyes were dark, as a forest in shadows and she saw there desperation and tenderness and fear and love, so much love in them. She whimpered softly.
"I love you" she wept. She saw his lips curving in a smile and nodding observing her face.
"Is this for real? Do you really love me?" she nodded seeing his face. He kissed her "My dreams never went that far. I always thought you'd be shocked if you ever knew … that you'd end rejecting me"
She shook her head, beaming. Tears were still sliding down her cheeks.
"Why I'd..."
"Because it's wrong, it's insanity. How do you love me if I'm just a kinky old man that fell in love with a child?"
"You didn't love me when I was a child."
"I don't know, I think I did … God! I can't believe I'm now daring to say it…" he murmured amazed "…when I denied it for so long. I couldn't reconcile the fact that I had acted that way; that that was my acting, that it was me. That I'd kissed a little girl and I loved it...
"But over time, when finally I accepted my acting and reconciled with myself, I tried to move on …and it was then when I found myself seeing everything as if I were you. I started to criticize the world with your voice; assessing my friends and … well everyone, everything … with your words and your expressions. I don't know how it happened but I became you. It was as if your essence or your spirit came into me and transformed me. I was no longer myself but a mix of you and me… I missed you so badly that it hurt. I tried to replace you with everyone, with every girl I knew and there was no one, not a single one who was like you." Helga's eyes turned down "I need to be honest here. I had to keep going, even if I knew that another part of me was out there, living her life, fighting her battles, trying to get the love of a certain boy –yes, I knew you wouldn't renounce to him –but I had to accept it. You weren't mine, Helga. You weren't even close. You were forbidden. I had to go on with my life."
"Did you have many girlfriends?" he looked into her eyes then shrugged "Did you see someone else these past…?"
He shook his head.
"They weren't you." he looked down and sighed. "Then there was my concern about you. Melissa knew… and she helped me out… keeping me on some news. She met Rhonda at the club and knew you two were friends…. Edward was also aware of your existence but he didn't know you at all. He pitied me. Both of them pitied me because they thought I'd never admit I was in love with you and would never make a move on you. And they were right because I thought it was a mistake; that it was madness … but then, I saw you. Black Friday three years ago, you were out, throwing hoops in the courts... Well, it was dark and I didn't actually see you, but knowing you were around woke something inside me that was never put to rest again. I think it was after that day that I understood I was lost in love with you and that I'd have to do something with this feeling…
"It wasn't easy, though. I realized you were surrounded by young boys and I was older and by far out of your league. I started hating young boys then; they were everywhere and they were … hearty and handsome … and any of them could do better than me. I hated blonds the most - I almost punched Edward earlier tonight when I saw him touching you. I hated him for being young and blond … because he couldn't wipe that silly smile of his face and because he realized I was dying with jealousy…" James growled "He even had the nerve to challenge me!" he took in a deep breath "Well, it took actually months for me to start thinking that I could actually court you; that I could try to make you fell for me..." he paused "Did you ever think of me? At least once?"
Her mouth curved down.
"I missed you terribly when you disappeared. I was scared for the way things went out of control, but I thought you'd made me know somehow we were okay. We were friends after all." She sighed "But I never thought about us as a couple. I just… it seemed … just … no right."
James nodded, forlorn.
Helga nudged her nose against his to wipe the sadness from his eyes. She was ecstatic. It was like a dream. Like those girlish dreams she had long ago when she danced around with a broom on the roofs. But it was better; a thousand times better because she now was in James' arms, touching him, smelling him, listening to him saying he loved her; he loved her; he was mad about her. And he was so beautiful, so perfect…
"Well... I knew that at least you found me attractive once" he smiled slyly.
Helga looked into his eyes remembering.
"I used to scold myself because I found you beautiful despite being in love with someone else." She crinkled her nose "I believed I was cheating on him."
James chuckled, then said astounded
"You, pretty thing, checked me out the very day we met."
She giggled.
"I hated realizing Olga's husband would be more handsome than mine." She pouted, caressing the outline of his face.
"Why did you kiss me? In your bedroom, you said you started everything and… it's right. I had blocked it. But the true is that you led me. You made me trip over and you kissed me."
"How could I let go the chance?" she grinned "You said: 'take a boy you like and kiss him' you put yourself under the spot … and you were tempting me all along. Besides … I knew there wouldn't be another opportunity" she smiled mischievously "Aren't you tired… of having me up here?
"Is there another place you'd like to be?" he looked right into her eyes. God, he was handsome!
"Mmmhmm…" she bit her lower lip "…maybe in your bed?" James smile faded and looked at her worriedly "I want you, James"
"You're sure that's what you want? I don't want you assenting just because you think it's what I want".
"Don't you want it?"
He snorted softly.
"Desperately. You have no idea what you've done to my body" he spoke softly against her jaw. Helga closed her eyes; her entire body stiffening and her skin bristling. "Right here …" his thumb kneaded just over her pubic bone "There's always a soreness … it's a dull pain … but at times is so intense that I have to curse you … Helga … That's how badly I want you"
"Then take me now" she let out the air of her lungs and embraced him tighter.
James drew back to let her stand on her feet, observing her intently in silence. Then gave a step back, pointing to the stairs. Helga walked up, extending her hand to take his.
"Are you coming?" she asked guardedly in sight of his silence.
He nodded, walking up behind her. When they reached the next level he spoke
"You're coming on your own …" Helga stopped and turned to observe him, frowning. "I just want to be sure you're not being forced, because if you're not sure …"
"Of course I am!" she assured him "I want you, James. I've wanted you …" he placed his index on her lips.
"You were virgin until very recently, Helga... You said he was a mistake. I don't want to be another mistake…"
"Damn it, James! I should have forced you the night you proposed. You should be my first …" he cut her off again, stern.
"It would be a mistake too. I never expected you being a virgin… I didn't deserve take it from you; I've never been a saint…"
"Yack, yack, yack" Helga shook her head and ran up the last flight of stairs "Shut up and move it now if you don't want me forcing you…"
She was opening the heavy wooden door when was cupped up and attracted to his chest. The only thing she could see was his shirt and the knot of his tie and then absolute darkness and the sound of the door being bolted.
"I'd like to see you trying" he said amused.
She was placed on something soft and felt James' form retracting. Then a dim light turned on in a far corner. Helga realized she was in a big bed with a white quilt; she turned over and to make out the surroundings … the magenta intense in the wall where a copy of a countryside scene hung. James took off his jacket and his tie and came down capturing her lips. She closed her eyes when his weight pressed her to the mattress.
Everything faded then: the outer world, the late hour, the campaigns, those miserable past days… all she could feel was James: his hands, his lips, his scent … his warmness, his weight and that measured exigency. He kissed her lips, her neck, her arms… all the while slurring tender, loving words about her beauty or about her softness... Every inch touched burned with sensations she used to repress because made her feel vulnerable, but not anymore. She was ready. She closed her eyes and drowned into her perceptions.
In no long she realized she was doing nothing; nothing in change, only delighting in his attentions. She opened her eyes to find him pulling the end of her dress and struggling to slide it up. She straightened to let him take it off. He didn't seem surprised to see she wasn't wearing any bra, only straightened there, supported on his knees, contemplating her.
She tried to pay back the favor by unbuttoning his shirt but the damn tiny buttons were teasing her. She wasn't a patient woman so she dug her fingers in a gap and tore it open. A joyous laugh came from inside him. She surveyed his upper body before proceeding to slide her pale fingers in the patch of dark hair that spread out from the hollow of his chest our and continued downwards, beyond his belt…
His voice dragged her out of her fascination.
"You forgot the cuffs" he raised his hands.
"Damn cufflinks!" Helga sighed as she tried with forced patience to remove them. "Why don't you use buttons like the rest of people" When she undid them she found James silent, observing everything of her "What?"
"You're beautiful"
She scoffed, turning around and leaning to place the silver little pieces on the bedside table. He leaned behind her and kissed her shoulder; his hands roved her ribcage and kneaded her breast. She gasped. Those hands always knew exactly what to do. They weren't as those ones that pinched. He kneaded them with indolent, circular motions and then let the thumb go for the crown.
"Jeez!" Helga gasped again, her body shuddered with every rove and then writhed when his lips reached that spot in her neck that had probably formed a permanent hickey.
He continued his caresses, his kisses that devastated her body as an anxiety-desperation was growing on and on inside her. Helga's subconscious flowed to nebulous images … cherished images … like the sunbeams between the treetops in the morning runs … then to James' old words speaking about love making, about it being technical and mechanical and … -James stopped to take off completely his ripped shirt and she turned around to face him and to help him to undo his pants. Once she opened them, she searched his lips and bit him.
"I understand the oddly tangible stuff now but…" he fell back and moved one side to another to get rid of his pants, then came back on his knees to kiss her again; digging his fingers in her hair to fix her head.
"But…?" he asked against her lips.
"You have indeed fancy pants!"
He laughed with gusto and pulled her up to seat on his lap.
James combed her hair and observed her face thoroughly; fingering the hairline in her forehead
"You're an angel" he mumbled tenderly "Do you know that your hair here has not color? It's almost white … golden white…" then shook his head, sighing "like platinum and tender gold…. And your freckles here…" he touched the bridge of her nose "…they're exactly thirteen. I always wanted to kiss every one of them"
Helga swooned as he kissed repeatedly that spot. She felt she could die this blissfully.
"I love you, James."
"I love you too" he locked eyes with her "You don't have idea how much."
Then he looked down at her body and embraced her tightly, relishing the contact of their skins. Helga pressed her chest against his and he grunted. She moaned delighting in the sensation of his hair brushing her naked breast. It felt so good, so intimate. She was learning what 'meant to be' actually meant: communion, belonging... How she didn't realize on time? She scolded herself No one else felt like him, not even Arnold.
Her hands caressed his back, feeling his muscles twitching under his firm skin; then came to his sides. There, she could feel the faint depression on his left flank, barely noticeable but she knew it was there despite have never seen it.
"Still hurts?"
He denied in a whisper.
She leaned to kiss the spot. 'Take care, please' she begged silently knowing how much he disliked talking about that. She then kissed his chest, his firm nipple, his shoulder, sliding her lips up to his neck and kissing there his style. He groaned and took her by the hips, pressing her down against all his healthy glory. Helga shuddered feeling her insides melting.
"You want me to beg, right?" she purred close to his ear
"Beg? Do you think I'll wait for your begging?" James pushed her down to the bed and slid his hands down her sides, stopping at her hips "I just hate seeing you put on a sexy bikini to go clubbing. It makes my blood boil. You made me become a jealous wreck."
Helga laughed as she lifted her hips to take it off, sluggishly.
"I put it on while you waited downstairs" she observed as his bright eyes followed ravenously her movements. "A girl can dream..." A vein in his collarbone bumped frenetic against his skin and a battle seemed to be developing under his blue boxers. Helga raised then her legs one at the time in front of him to take it off and threw the silky cloth to his face. Her legs fell sideways as she brought her body over to pull his underwear "I need you now!"
Like a blur, the room spun for a second until her back touched the bed and James was on his knees hovering above her. His boxer had disappeared. She gasped.
"But I didn't listen you begging and you said you'd do" he seized her hips with urgency "You didn't beg…" he repeated, sliding his thumbs down, pressing firmly her underbelly.
Helga squirmed, but stubbornly turned her head and bit her lips to prevent any word to go out. James jerked her towards him and she could feel his pulsating hardness grazing against her
"Huh?" he pressed himself harder.
Helga cursed as she straightened to look at him in the eye. An annoyed frown framed her blue sight. The dark green eyes were fixed on her. All the eagerness that was there but she knew he wouldn't give; if she was proud and obstinate he was ten times worst. Her breathing was frantic. 'What an adorable couple we'll be!' She tried to draw back but James's hands were like claws keeping her in place. She could feel his fervent bulge almost imploring … 'Shit!' She raised herself to say roughly.
"Damn it, James! Just fuck me now!"
With a grunt, James took her left ankle and raised it to his shoulder, then adjusted himself at the edge of her and stopped dead. "Fuck you?" It came as a wisp of breathe. "You want me to fuck you?
Helga's gasps halted when she raised her sight to found his stoic face and hard darkened sight. God! That was torture.
"Please…" she muttered, swallowing her pride the same instant she felt the brisk pressure. James' forced breathing became a long growl. She let out a muffled cry for the shock and the unexpected pain, and was breathless when his concerned face stopped in front of hers.
"Did I hurt you?" she swallowed hard before deny with her head. She had no idea it'd hurt again. He kissed the tears she hadn't realized had let out "It hurts?"
"Not now"
He watched her intently for a while as she took in and got used to the sensation of having him actually inside her. It felt… kind of intrusive and domineering… but fulfilling nevertheless…. Fulfilling and promising. Of course to her mind came reminiscences of a similar situation lived weeks before, but they were blurred and awkward; she shook her head to sweep off those thoughts. When James pulled back and thrust into her again and then again and again, she held her breath at the new perceptions. The poet in her searched for a word, the correct word – Yielding? … Giving herself in … to him? She observed as he closed his eyes and his face seemed concentrated, his brow creased, his lips in a strange distortion, like trying to get tense but it was hard because they tended to be limp; giving himself in … to her.
"Close your eyes." he said after a while, panting "Close your eyes… and relax" she did as she was told. She tried to relax but how could she know if she was it doing it okay? She focused in the perceptions instead. It felt actually great having him … pulsating inside her; his contact, their ragged breathings, every move, the itching, the friction, even the transgression …and to him whole...being hers. There were moments when the sensations were so intense that she moaned… even cried… but it was hard to follow his rhythm all the time.
"I don't feel you, Helga" Of course James realized. "Relax…. Let the sensations… drag you…. Feel… inside you…. Hold me tighter … Tighten about me … and focus there … inside you" James guided between pants. He chuckled when she gripped his sides. "That's the idea but…"
"I know" she whined "…it's not easy"
"Just let yourself go…" he kept going but after some time, took her hips roughly and thrust against her feverishly, then let out a long exhalation and stopped, coming down to face her. "We're not done yet, okay? Take your time…" he spoke between gasps "… Don't over strain yourself … no yet… I'm just settling this … your time will come; okay, black kitty?"
She nodded, smiling at his evocation. They observed each other for long moments until he took both of her hands and pulled them up to his lips, kissing every fingertip in a slow motion; then lacing her fingers with his and carrying them up beyond her head. Finally, he came down to kiss her again. His lips teased her mouth lusciously, deeply, dominantly. After some time, he let go her lips and relentlessly went down to her neck, then to her shoulder, to her armpit and finally to her breast. He didn't kiss but sucked it as a hungry baby as his hand came down to squeeze the other; and then start moving swiftly into her again and again until his thrusting became rhythmic. Helga shuddered, growling uncontrollably as James continued showing off his technique -learned who knew where- when, all of a sudden, he embraced her and made her roll over so she was up now straddling him.
"Now it's your turn. Lead the way, bucko"
Helga couldn't help but smile at his wit. He smiled back watching her as she took over the setting of the pace with energy; holding his breath as he observed raptly the bouncing of her breast. Helga knew she'd eventually get used to his intimate gaze, then realized it was easier 'let herself go' this position; it felt great. Soon she was so concentrated in how the variations in her thrusts altered and improved her pleasure when she realized her galloping had lost strength and she was breathless. She cursed. James attracted her to him and mumbled soothing words to ease her frustration but she knew he was also getting frustrated.
"You go ahead" she told him as she breathed with difficulty by the mouth, trying to calm the crazy beats of her heart. He shook his head one side to another.
"I still can wait…. Take your time, but … if it's hard … I can always help you"
She nodded and closed her eyes, concentrating in lessen her breathing… one … exhale … two… inhale … three … exhale … four ….
She nudged his nose before straightening again. His eyes shone in an indescribable way; she couldn't make out their changing color.
Helga observed the film of wetness covering his shoulders as she re-started thrusting her pelvis against his, slower this time; slower and deeper. James threw his head back, closing his eyes and biting his lips hard. Helga pushed deeper as she tightened her belly. He growled, taking her hips and pulling them hard against him, hitting her stride. Helga felt all her body set in fire; a fire that was born deep inside her; in the deeper spot he reached her. She opened her legs even more to deepen the sensation.
"Helga!" he rumbled. Her thrusts became so uncontrolled and erratic that James held her firmly and started to shove back on his own to help her to keep the rhythm steady. She was getting frustrated and out of breath again and seeing him in agony didn't help at all.
'My, oh my!' she prayed to a god to whom her rational being didn't believed. Help me through this now. Help me get over this shit now. –she breathed deeply. I'm a fighter, right? Right? … Please … Help me get over with this… Help me get this shit over. Get this shit over. Get this shit over. Get this shit over…
"Get this shit over…" Get this shit over- get … God!' she gasped for air "Oh, my God! Oh my God" she cried out, but right then she felt as James dug his fingers in her skin, grasped her hips and rubbed them roughly against him, then let go and stopped "Damn it, James! I need… Awwwww" she growled "James? … James! … James! James! James! James! JAMES!" her body jerked, as if she had been reached by a bolt; her insides burst … then convulse; contracting and relaxing successively with uncontrolled spasms…. Her mind was like a wide, white, iridescent canvas and she felt like reaching the edge of a cliff and falling down, down, … down …then taking off … up to the sky… and disappearing…
What a sensation!... Happiness, fulfillment, joy … almightiness … primitiveness … She pushed down on him one last time. Hard and languidly at the time …. Eternity…
Was that God?
.
.
.
She came back down to earth after what seemed a timeless trip beyond the universe to hear her own throaty howl. She opened her eyes to see her love under her lost in his own ecstasy. He was still thrusting and clinging to her hips. Helga observed enraptured as he let out a long, profound grunt, brought his head and torso up and his face showed agony.
She tightened her belly.
"I love you" her pristine voice made a smile grew difficulty between his spasms. After some moments, when his billows lessened, she laid on him. Her face was wet with tears.
"I love you ... I love you, love you, love you, love you, love you…" she pecked his shoulder and hid her face into his neck. She could feel the crazy beats of his heart against her lips. He hugged her and kissed her head. A little later, still panting he accused.
"You just want me because my money."
"Nope" laughing, she pulled up to see his eyes "I just want you because your dick…" she wheezed "… your flaunted technique… though the money helps" she shrugged.
He chortled.
"Would you ever let that go?" he snuggled his nose against hers "You're going to make me eat all my words, right?" he searched her breast with his lips but she flinched.
"No!" she fell from over him, but he was on top of her tout-de-suit.
"You already did and haven't even realized…" She furrowed her brow. James looked into her eyes, lovingly but questioning at the same time. "Did it worth … all the effort?"
She nodded categorically.
"To you?" she blinked.
He sighed, kissing her neck
"It had to be you, Helga. I'm bewitched… messed up…" he breathed deeply "I need you again. I'm not done yet" he whispered, looking restless.
"I thought you were…" she opened wide her eyes.
"I thought so too, but wasn't enough… If only you knew…" James inhaled deeply then kissed her still wet eyelids. "You're so …" he stopped to observe her piercingly, making her blush. "I can see you're still unaware but this … intensity… is not usual. This …fever … inside me … it's just getting worst. I never felt this way…" his eyes were still fixed on her. Helga raised her hand to touch his face "You have no idea the way you make me feel. The things you elicit from me…" he kissed the tip of her nose. "Your innocence brings the beast out of me" Helga observed him enthralled, then straightened to kiss him and rustle into his mouth.
"Then go for it. Do whatever you want with me…" she felt him setting on fire "…I'm at your mercy." James groaned as he kissed her and slid his hands along her sides until her hips and gripped them firmly, dragging them to him; then, without vacillation, charged into her again.
Helga watched him with half lidded eyes. He was hypnotized, observing everything of her, unashamedly; pulling her hips and shifting her legs at his please. He'd described himself as a beast … well, maybe not a beast but definitively this untamed, vigorous creature was irresistible… powerful…surreal. She felt her desire arising again; just underneath her navel, and there, deep down was hot, damp… she whimpered … but decided to let this one to him. He deserved it. He deserved everything.
Minutes later, her name was said between grunts and swearing; and she felt an indescribable joy seeing how he was getting lost into ecstasy, into her. All his body was tremulous, magnificent, perfect … as an earthy, naked god and was only hers; only hers in this fusion of pleasure and agony that was making love. She hurried a hand down to his balls and squeezed them -just for a second. He shuddered and let out an animal growl. Then raised a knee to support his weight on his feet and pushed harder against her. Seconds later he fell on her, compressing her and biting her jaw.
"You witch! Where did you… learn that?"
She giggled.
"Didn't stop reading … cheap papers … remember?" she answered with difficulty, pushing him up. James tried to laugh between his panting and didn't give, but stopped crushing her.
"You're crazy… as crazy as me … No... I'm even worst… I want you again. Just give me a minute"
Helga laughed, kissing him. "You don't have to hurry. We have the entire night."
"I'm not hurrying. I need you." he pressed himself against her again to prove his point and embraced her tightly. "Didn't you hear me? I'm mad about you, mad, mad! You took me in and now I'm your responsibility" he laughed "…you don't know what you put yourself into. Now you're gonna pay for that fast you put me through"
"What fast?"
His face fell to the pillow. Helga observed him blushing. Despite his agitation, his blush grew to reach his neck. Deciding leaving him alone for now, she slid from under him and seated upright uncomfortably.
"I need a bathroom" he pointed a door but then grabbed her arm before she stood.
"Why?"
"I'm all … you know!" she pointed down. He reached for his bed table and pulled a drawer open, then took out a white cotton undershirt.
"Here" he gave it to her. "I'm sorry I didn't have any condoms … I didn't even think …" James got upright quickly and searched her face, suddenly mortified "Helga, if … if you … Are you in control?" she shook her head, stunned "I don't want you pregnant… I mean … in fact I do … I'd love it, but you're too young. It'd be a crime to tie you down that way" he leaned to kiss her nose tenderly "First thing in the morning we'll go to some drugstore to get that pill. It's that okay?"
"I guess… I didn't remember …" she vacillated "I… I…"
"I should do it." he turned around as thinking "… you know …? Last time I bought … I think they should be around here" he left the bed and walked to a chest of drawers.
Helga took him in, splendidly naked. Then sighed deeply remembering when she first knew him. She'd been observing him as he was uneasily settled there in her TV room long ago: Olga's boy. Bob had been so keen on him that had ordered Helga don't be around when he were over…
Then she took a deep breathe. So many things conspired for this moment to arrive… so many days, so many happenings, so many …. She never thought he'd be the one. She never thought she'd fell for him that way, that deeply, that madly, that maturely. She breathed again, so deep that her ribcage ached. After weeks filled with gloominess and guiltiness, she was here, with him, in his bed… experiencing fulfillment and an overwhelming happiness for first time in her life and everything else was unimportant now, everything … even if all she'd get from him was only this night.
She used the shirt she had been given to clean herself, then left the bed to go to the bathroom, covering her nudity with one of the sheets. She had opened the door when he reached her, pulling her to him.
"Aren't you shy, Helga Pataki?" his smile was bright.
"I need to use the bathroom" she tried to evade him "So you found them?" she asked observing the packages in his hand.
"Yep! But if we are going to look for a drugstore in the morning, there has no point in use them now, don't you think?" she shrugged as he threw them away. He leaned to kiss her and slid his hands under the sheet "Don't hide from me kitty, I've kissed you all."
"James, I need to get to…" he pushed her into the room. Helga couldn't even look around to the ample room and trendy equipment because James had taken possession of her mouth "James…I need some privacy."
"Well, you won't have it anymore. Now you're mine!" He laughed, making her spin.
"We'll see that!" she pushed him hard out the room and closed the door, then looked around with a big smile, ignoring his laughing outside. "So, this is how that one percent lives, huh?" she whistled. "I guess I'd get used to this in a quick."
She used the WC, took a quick shower and after rubbing the wetness off her skin with a big towel, she took a look at her image in the mirror. She almost didn't recognize herself. She was glowing. Her skin was pinkish, her eyes shone like that diamond in the ring and her face was radiant. She clicked at her image and went out, covering her body again.
James was nowhere to be seen, but the bedroom door was open and there were noises downstairs. She chose to look around instead of following him. The room was huge… really huge. The bed was on the left and a cozy living room in the other side. The walls were white, gray and magenta, one of each color and the last one was covered from ceiling to floor and one side to another by dark long curtains. This room wasn't contemporary as the rest of the house, but full with little details, like his office. The headboard of the bed was padded with grey suede, the same material than the sofa and the loveseat; but the rest of gear, as the bedside tables, TV table, chest of drawers and others were wooden; dark gray wood. Dark tapestries and impressionist reproductions in the walls complimented the decoration, but what called the more Helga's attention, because its oddness, was a couple of small pink shelves in the corner of the gray wall. When she reached it, her jaw went to the floor.
There, arranged as some kind of bizarre shrine, were little pretty possessions that somehow resembled or recalled her: a small porcelain doll with a pink dress, blonde pigtails and a pink bow. It didn't actually look like her, because it was a little girl with curly hair, not straight like hers and she was undeniably pretty; but there was something about her, a roguish smile to which she felt akin. Then there was a pendant with the shape of a tiny black kitty with blue beads as eyes. There was one of her old poetry books that she hasn't even missed, God! Her hands trembled. There also was a photo from the Pier, the exactly spot where they have been that old summer; a mistreated and torn trade edition –The Remains of the Day-. The first page held his handwritten: H. Hope you enjoy it. J. and was dated back to the year she knew him; Christmas' day. Helga turned to the wall to observe again the reproduction of the L'Hermitage…
So… he hadn't been kidding. He was … God! Was it the reason why he never let her step into his room before? She felt suddenly dizzy. It was quite a shock to realize that someone cared so much about you that… and it was being said for an equal stalker/weirdo. She turned to see the shelf once more before going in search of James when she noticed a small piece of paper folded against the wall, behind the book. She took it with trembling hands. 'James: I hope you forgive me but I'm sure you don't really want to lose your little girl. Anna.'
Helga frowned. She knew Anna was his parents' cooker and James' housekeeper. She observed again the items, this time with full care and detecting now that the little doll had been repaired. Helga observed three barely noticeable lines where it had been glued together. Helga's eyes stung, guilt-ridden imagining his pain.
She heard steps on the stairs and walked towards the curtained wall, blinking away her tears. Looking outside through an opening; it wasn't a sight to the city but to the hills; there were just a few lights on in the distance, but … It has to be alright. We're going to be alright.
She turned when heard him stepping into the room, holding out a can of soda and a bottle of water and wearing only boxers. She took the soda from his hand and drank a couple of small sips before passing it back to him, who drank as well. She got close to him and asked quietly.
"So you were saying?" he looked at her with a smirk.
"I wasn't talking to you last time I spoke." a lump grow fast in her throat; she blinked a couple of times, trying to mask the sting of his words. "… but still … we need to talk" her face fell again at the same time his cellphone chirped. He walked to the chest, took a look at the item and fumbled with it for over a minute, then put it back in its place. Helga's gloominess grew exponentially those eternal seconds.
"Why the long face?" he asked sneering, walking up to her. "Pat…" he signaled the cellphone "He's working on tomorrow's agenda. Can't sleep." James led her to the couch and they sat "I think he's assuming I can't sleep either" he stroked her cheek "…but now the reason is quite different."
"We need to talk about what?" she asked anxious.
James observed her as he took her left hand and drew it to his lips, kissing her knuckles. Then slid the ring in her finger and observed it. She released her breath and closed her eyes. A titter left her lips.
"I want you to use it; all the time. Don't take it away anymore. I want everybody to know you're my girlfriend and that you're going to marry me. Soon" he observed her hardly as she bit her lip "You don't want to marry me, do you?"
Helga shifted her gaze up to find his unwavering sight. She kissed him briefly before talk.
"Yes, of course I do. But … how? When?" She sighed "I have to go back to Boston next week." Then a sudden thought came to her mind "Do you… do you want me to drop college to follow you? … because…"
"No. Of course not!" he furrowed his brow "I want you to go back to Boston until you end your school. I want you to keep working in whatever you want to work; just like we planned it out but we'd be married... Look, my contract expires in January … we could marry then" he pulled her to his lap "Get this shit off!" he peeled the sheet off her, then leaned back to observe her. She ducked. "Don't be ashamed. You're gorgeous… graceful, intriguing, sexy like a black kitty" he kissed her shoulder and smiled to her "Helga. I want you. I need you back in my life. Now. I can't wait any longer. I want to go to work every morning knowing I'm a married man. I'm not afraid." He looked into her eyes "I know you're too young, but I promise you don't regret it… I don't want to lose you again. I don't want to face the world tomorrow without knowing where we stand. I don't want you to go back to your home and then go looking for you again, dragging you out as a thief. Tell me what you think. Tell me if you also want to marry me."
She nodded. She understood him perfectly, but she was indeed afraid. Everything was happening so fast.
"Of course I want to marry you. I'd love to be your wife, -even if I have to keep your house shining - But I don't know if marrying soon would be a good idea" James turned to see the floor for a moment before shook his head.
"I promise everything would be the way we talked. If you say yes, I'll search immediately for a place in Boston, close to your school. I'll be there every weekend. Then after the elections… next year my deal's over."
"Don't talk that way. You love your work."
"I love you. Besides, you know I only work this intensely around elections. Then … I can postpone the new contract until your school ends next summer. I can take less work advising in the interim. I could work from there."
"You shouldn't change your plans for me."
"There will be no changes, just adaptations. No one start to make public their interest in the next running until the second half of the year, besides that's not my work; I don't choose, I just guide. My team follows me everywhere. The external advising is independent. Besides, I need to clear my mind. Wash out all those old ideas. Boston would make a good place to start fresh." He seemed anxious. Helga kissed his shoulder. "What are you afraid? Is it Bob? Is it your school, your work?"
"Is not that." she sighed "I love you… but I don't even know if I'd make a good girlfriend for starters" She smiled in response to his loving smile, then pecked his shoulder blade again and stroked the recently grown stubs in his jawline, then exhaled. "Weddings are a pain in the ass." She whined "I just don't want to deal with that. Olga was crazy about the prospect; she wanted to organize everything: hotel, flowers, invitations, church and all that little-pretty-fucking stuff" she sighed exasperated "Rhonda's on the same; they talk about things I have never heard before … and Phoebe…" she groaned "Phoebe will be obsessed about being the maid of honor. They didn't stop talking about that the few weeks we were..."
He observed her with narrowed eyes and a funny smile
"Is that it?" she nodded, biting her lip "…and keeping the house shining? Seriously?"
"Am I being ridiculous?" she pouted caressing the shadow on his cheeks.
"No, you're not" he kissed her forehead "If I promise you'll never mop our house, would you marry me? It'd be just you and me, down in the City Hall."
"When?" She asked cautious. She was heading to Boston in two days and opened big her eyes at his response. "Tomorrow? Can we do that?"
"Do you want it?" she vacillated, but after seeing his sparkling eyes she nodded enthusiastically "I'm sure Edward can help us." James let out a joyous exhalation and hugged her tightly "That way we also evade the attorneys"
"Attorneys?" she retracted to see him. His smile faded a little watching her.
"The board" he vacillated "There is paperwork … when we take a resolution of this kind. You need to know it."
"As in a prenuptial agreement?" he watched her carefully. His eyes seemed reserved "James, maybe we shouldn't rush things. If you have to make me sign an agreement, maybe we should wait for the counselors to authorize …"
"I don't need their authorization. They just… I want to marry you, no matter what." He turned his sight afar pondering for some moments until he looked at her again "But I know they'd insist in the agreement… it wouldn't be disrespectful… but fair. It would stipulate about money management; fix your incomes and yield; instruct about properties, clauses for an eventual divorce…"
"So you're really, really rich?" he didn't answer "I thought you were mostly… I'll sign anything" she shrugged "There's no problem on my side"
"Look…" he swallowed "I… I know we don't know the future. I think I'll love you forever, but being the down-to-earth persons we are we can't state it for sure. We can wait for the counselors; lately there's no hurry, but I'm convinced I really want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I don't care about an agreement; I just need a promise from you. You know a private agreement is as valid as a signed one; my lawyers would rip you apart if I wished, if you don't fulfill your part."
"I think I prefer the paper…" she stated, warily after a clear hesitancy.
"I just want a baby … within next five years" James held his breathing. "Helga, I … I want to be the father of your babies. If it doesn't work; if you fall for someone else; if you don't want me at your side anymore, you'll still have my kids. I assure you I'll provide you well; I wouldn't fight against you."
Helga observed him for a long while. He was being deadly serious. It was obvious that he had pondered about this for really long time, in opposition to her, to whom the possibility of their marriage was always so far ahead in the future that didn't give many thoughts; and lately, she was just a cheater who deserved no dream of happiness.
She hesitated. Her heart clenching; her mind filled with images of a court where they were speaking widely about this very scene, exposing them both, naked, snuggling on a suede couch and vowing over this compromise. Helga watched his eyes. Dazzlingly green, though a slight shadow clouded suddenly them. Was it doubt … fear?
"All this is for money. I don't want your money!" she grumbled "I move in with you if you want, in Boston. No string attached. We'll talk about marriage later."
He smiled thoughtful raising a brow "You don't want my money, huh?" then chuckled, shaking his head. After a while he sighed. "No string attached… is that what you want?" she nodded "So be it, then. It'd be your way, Helga, as usual."
"Is that okay, then?" she looked at him, dithering.
He nodded resignedly.
"If that's what you want" then shrugged "I'll start tomorrow to look for a place, close to the campus"
"Well, I have my place…"
"And throwing Gerald out? What a mean girl!" he massaged her shoulders "No, Gerald is a decent man, besides, we need a bigger place. We need to lodge the guys in there; George needs his space, remember? It would be better if it's a house and not an apartment." He pecked her lips "You can do whatever you want with your actual room; even keep it for yourself, but you're gonna sleep- on- my- bed. Got it?" Helga nodded meekly.
"That's my freckled girl! Do you wanna know what time is it right now?" she shook her head "You sure?"
She didn't answer because didn't even listen. It was hard to concentrate in words when his lap attracted her full attention all of a sudden. Her lower body quivered. She motioned to sit astride on him, pushing him against the back of the couch and kissing him gently. He kissed back kneading her bottoms. She teased his chest; she just couldn't get enough of it. Feeling his solid muscles move underneath her hands as she felt his hair between her fingers; he roamed her body with his hands.
"I'll spend the night making love to you when you're in town…" she purred into his mouth "… and will dream with you when you are out." James shifted to pull down his boxers "You better won't be wandering around…" He then raised her by her hips and nailed her down against him. Helga leaned sideward to avoid the penetration. James followed her, clutching her leg to stop it from falling and taking her foot up to his mouth.
"Me? Wandering?" he huffed "You don't have idea what are you talking about, girl!" he parted her legs and shifted to situate himself between them. Helga laughed again, recoiling to shun his advances. James rumbled aggrievedly and took her up easily, flipping her over and pressing himself against her back. Helga giggled; playing along for a while, then suddenly slouched and fell from the couch.
James straightened surprised and kind of concerned, reaching down for her but she stood quickly and ran away. He stood confused and followed her but only caught her after a good minute of chasing. Then he pushed her aggressively to the bed. Helga couldn't stop chortling all the way over.
"What else do you want from me, huh?" he asked looking into her eyes. Helga smile faded observing them. They were dark again. She kissed his eyelids, then his lips, feeling his forced breath on her face.
"What fast you were talking about, huh?" she asked against his lips. He retracted slightly to look at her, his eyes searching her whole face.
"You want me down on my knees before you! That's what you want, right? You're the devil, girl!"
"I just want to know..." she kissed him one more time before straightened up to seat on her heels. He did the same in front of her. She then turned around and sat on his lap, taunting him. James exhaled deeply again, digging his fingers in her hips. He tried to take her up again but she forced herself to remain down. "You were about to say…"
"Damn!" he cursed and kissed her neck, trying to pin her down on him again but once again she dodged his try. 'I love this guy, I should stop torturing him' She chuckled to herself, arching her back and turning her head back to look at him. 'Nah, it's just too much fun'.
He cursed again, then twisted her hair around his hand and pulled towards him. She gasped and almost let out a cry of surprise but it was not as painful as it was thrilling. Helga could feel his heartbeat and his crazy panting against her back. He was shivering.
"I hadn't been with a girl in long time." He spoke in a whisper. Helga listened despite that he'd started to use his free hand to rub roughly her breasts, and then it went down to her abdomen and dangerously beyond. "I saw you in Malibu last spring. Is that what you wanted to hear?" he grumbled in her ear. "You took over my mind…" he pulled from her hair again to bit her lips "…my desire ... all of me" James kissed her neck and Helga shaken uncontrollably. "I don't wander… I'm the most truthful man you cou… you cou…"
Helga made him stutter when she slid down on him with his help. She was euphoric. She was indeed the devil. He was in her hands and she was getting to love this newly found power…
Malibu?
Nope.
He was the devil and she was melted mush in his hands. She shouted his name; loud and shamelessly again. It felt as if she were being ripped apart, feeling her insides scorch like ardent lava. She'd swear she lost consciousness. After the agony, she fell with her face down on the bed with him on top of her, panting crazily. Her body was still wobbly and he was who was euphoric now, glowing. A minute later he made her turn over to face him.
"No string attached my ass!" He gasped for air. "You're gonna marry me … right away! Understand?" Helga smirked. "I know I mentioned my father was the rich guy, well… I still have my share." He panted again "How much do you ask?"
"My, my…" still breathless, she looked at him feigning caution "Y'are gonna buy me?"
"Name a price!" Helga laughed. Then looked at his extremely stern expression and became guarded.
"James, you're frightening me."
"What about stores, huh?" he spoke thoughtfully "Two stores per year, next five years. All yours, I'm not partnering."
"Wha…. What …?" She blinked.
"…The developing that you are planning for the upcoming years. Well, you don't need a fucking investor; you don't need to wait for the actual invest to return…I'll give you the money. As a wedding present…. It has to be through several years, though, to not to go over the trusts. This fiscal year is coming to an end, so as soon as…"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop!" Helga straightened to a sitting position. "What the hell are you saying? Do you actually wanna buy me?"
"It's not about buying you." He smiled, tenderly "It'd be a present. I'd be glad to help you."
"So, you're being serious?" He nodded, his eyes sparkling. "Would you accept being a partner?"
He thought for a moment.
"If you really want it, I guess I would. But it'd be a complication to me. I'm a politician. All my possessions would be eventually known by the public eye; yours -even as my wife- not necessarily." he shrugged. "Helga… you'll be my wife; it isn't the big deal. I mean …of course I'll gladly help my wife to build her own wealth…"
"Wow, James … I mean..." she was speechless.
"Come on." he pulled her down and embraced her. "Don't talk anymore. Let's sleep on it. Tomorrow we'll see, huh?"
"Okay… I guess…" still vacillating, she reached to kiss his cheek. "We'll see" she turned around to cradle in his arms. James kissed her shoulder blade and removed her hair from her ear, nesting his nose in her neck.
"Helga …" She hummed. "Don't think so much… We'll do whatever you want. I didn't want to scare you, okay?"
"I know" Helga then remained quiet but with her eyes wide open, taking in his words. He wasn't kidding. Should she accept? A wedding present. Was it usual?
She remained contemplative even after she heard his breath became regular and his arms around her relaxed. She loved him. And of course, she was going to marry him, wherever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Just remembering these past days and her remorse she knew she'd follow him to any adventure.
She knew marriage wasn't the idealistic end of a love story, but the beginning of a new way of life. They'd deal with distance and different and demanding occupations in addition to get used to be together, because truth was that they just went out a few days…
She had all of her journalism subjects done, but she was now also majoring in Business and taking some Politic Science; beside her internship and her actual work… and that without considering James' intense schedule –guiding campaigns of a bunch of candidates, besides all the advising he did for the party wasn't any easy task. That would let for them optimistically the weekends and some escapade they could make any given day…" she sighed "lately the fly between Washington and Boston was only one hour and a half long…
Well, even when the task seemed insurmountable, she wasn't afraid. It was a thousand times better than nothing. I'll do it. She thought. Tomorrow. They would learn, on the road, how to settle together. She yawned. If this adventure didn't work, there was always the possibility of a divorce. She wouldn't fight him, let alone if he actually went through the so-called wedding present...
Bob wouldn't believe it. Thinking about Bob; she should call him -and Miriam- first thing in the morning… And Phoebe; she'd be at her side tomorrow…
James snuggled his nose against her hair. What good deed had she achieved in life to deserve him? He was perfect in all senses. His existence made her happy, his closeness delighted her and his way to make love was intense, tantalizing, passionate … she'd never thought it'd be that great, that fulfilling; it made her body tremble only by recalling. Besides…He loved her; and he had loved her for… well … with all honesty, he probably didn't love her since the old days. He, however, really cared for her back then, from the day he met her… but at some point in time, he fell for her; for his memory of her. That was actually The Accomplishment. She sighed. When she was this lanky and problematic teenager, wherever he was, he was thinking of her. The boost that such awareness would have done to the old Helga self-esteem! The fact he wanted to know about her; that he had waited until she was legally an adult to look for her; the fact that he had behaved chastely since the day he saw her again…
So, it was him… the creepy stalker as Phoebe named him. It was him. She should confess that sometime in the old days, to her mind came the thought that the person sending the presents may be him; but she discarded once she realized he'd let her know somehow. But apparently she was mistaken. She had forgotten the way he had flattered her earrings the day he drove her to the Auditorium… So, he had been concerned from afar that she received a little joy on those meaningful dates. She swooned. Wasn't he a lamb?
And his family knew about his infatuation for her. What did they would think of that? Was that the reason why Patricia had been so kind from the beginning? Did Missy and Mike know? Sir Robert? Edward? Have they accepted her already?
"You know?" his hoarse voice startled her, making her shiver. He chuckled "If you say no, I'll go to Bob and I'll make the offer to him. Do you think he'd have qualms about selling you?" despite the swift discourse, his voice sounded sleepy.
"You wouldn't dare!" her mouth –as always- was fast in the retort. She tried to turn around but his arms seemed made of steel and wouldn't let her, so she fidgeted heatedly in her place. He chuckled again.
"If you keep doing that, my Dark Knight will rise again and you wouldn't like it" He drawled and breathed deeply, adjusting his arms around her, so she remained still. After a while, Helga heard his breathing relaxing again.
He wouldn't dare going to Bob. He'll see in the morning who was Helga G. Pataki!
"Who says I wouldn't like it?" Helga mumbled as of late thinking James was asleep, but she shivered when he made her turn over and hovered over her, raising goosebumps on her skin when said with that forced guttural growl of the bat man.
"I counted on that."
I don't own Hey Arnold!
I don't own the Dark Night or and any other TM mentioned here.
I only own this plot and the OC. This plot is only fantasy. Any similarity with real life is fortuitous.
Two more chapter to go and that's it.
